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[ - ] My 13 yr DS is volatile, testy and won't do any studying for SSAT or read his 4 books. He is uncooperative. We were pushing really hard 6 weeks ago. He basically had a breakdown and said he had too much pressure on him and he didn't want to live up to all of the serious expectations we had of him. He was very despondent and we worried that he was too pressured. We have completely backed off and he is working about an hour and a half a day, which is more than last week. He has these anger breakdowns/incidents. I'm not sure what to do. Please excuse typos/grammar-- I recorded it. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:23 PM Flag
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Am sorry. We went thru this last year and just painfully struggled along. No advice, just sympathizing. It is a lot of pressure on a 13 year old and not all are ready for it at this age. K-8 is not a good model in the current competitive environment. Wished we had done K-12 or frankly left NYC. All the school related issues and cost definitely affected our parenting experience. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:34 PM Flag
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How is your DC now? More compliant and studious ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:35 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone come close to having an affair? Maybe even had one? Or did a friend confide in you that she had an affair? I’m close to having one... :/ 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:11 PM Flag
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Movie rec: The Good Girl with Jennifer Aniston and Jake Gylenhaal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:12 PM Flag
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Np: or that one with Jennifer whatshername with the eyebrows and care whatsherface from titanic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:20 PM Flag
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^^^ Cate not care [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:20 PM Flag
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Do not do this. So weak. First leave your husband, then go do whatever you want. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:14 PM Flag
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Another movie rec: Diane Lane and Richard Gere. Friend says "know this. nothing good ever comes out of an affair." Did you hear that? Nothing good will come out of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:14 PM Flag
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It is an absolutely devastating thing to do to another (forget about kids. I hope you don't have those.) This is one of the most selfish things a human can do to another. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:15 PM Flag
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Seriously, use a vibrator [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:16 PM Flag
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Yes, a friend confided in me that she had a short affair with a colleague. She thought she was in control, all happy, she ended it, and thought she moved on with her life. Six years later, her DH ended up finding out about this. By that point, her kids were teenagers and they never forgave her. DH stayed with her for about 6-12 months to try and work on it, but one day he packed his bag and left saying he tried but could never trust her again. She lost everything. THIS is the reality of what having an affair can do to your life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:18 PM Flag
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So stupid. The woman always stays but the men leave after one small stupid blip in the radar. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:22 PM Flag
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There's something particularly screwed up about a woman who cheats. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:23 PM Flag
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That is so f’ing unfair! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:25 PM Flag
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Life's not fair. But it's true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:26 PM Flag
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Bullshit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:28 PM Flag
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Not fair [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:25 PM Flag
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Yes. It comes from a long tradition where women were chattel. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:28 PM Flag
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Keep breaking that glass ceiling, ladies! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:32 PM Flag
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Meh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:33 PM Flag
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There ya go! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:36 PM Flag
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How did he find out? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:23 PM Flag
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The truth always comes out. It doesn't matter how. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:27 PM Flag
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How did this guy figure out though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:37 PM Flag
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This. Just leave DH. Men will not forgive [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:26 PM Flag
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Why won’t men forgive? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:28 PM Flag
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Please remember: The truth ALWAYS comes out. Sooner or later, your secret will be uncovered. 100% Be prepared for that. ALWAYS comes out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:21 PM Flag
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So true [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:24 PM Flag
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How does the S/O find out? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:22 PM Flag
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I know so many women who stay when their DHs cheat, mainly for the kids sake or because they have no personal income. It boggles my mind. Men will always rule. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:29 PM Flag
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Don't do it please. Your life will go up in flames. You can prevent that right now! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:32 PM Flag
[ - ] I am prepping for K interviews. What questions are typically asked? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:53 PM Flag
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You need old UB for this maybe ; ) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:13 PM Flag
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Click on "Last" in the bottom right hand corner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:14 PM Flag
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tell me about your DC. what do you like to do as a family on the weekends. what is your parenting style. what is a challenge you have faced as a parent [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Now that we have a mod, is UB similar to how it was in the old days? 72 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:49 PM Flag
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Sort of. Different cast of characters, of course. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:50 PM Flag
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UB has dumbed down a lot, so with or without moderators, it's different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:51 PM Flag
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Where'd the bright people go? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:52 PM Flag
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Aged out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:09 PM Flag
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Why haven't you quit UB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:03 PM Flag
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Because on occasion, there is a smart and funny person who makes me chuckle. It's like digging for pearls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:06 PM Flag
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^^or diving [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:06 PM Flag
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But you hate my funny links, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:09 PM Flag
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Hate is a strong word. It's more like apathy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:13 PM Flag
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I get it. It's like being married to a loser with a good sense of humor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:13 PM Flag
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Like Aziz Ansari? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:14 PM Flag
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so this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:29 PM Flag
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UC NYC moms long gone. Better than weeding through spam but the heyday has past. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:52 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:54 PM Flag
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No........ It used to be all NYC super ambitious moms. Now, it's moms from the midwest many of whom lack an appreciation for the finer things in life. And they don't get it, is the funny thing. Nothing the same. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:52 PM Flag
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I've been on here for years and that's ridiculous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:53 PM Flag
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Nah, it's really not ; ) It's the plain truth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:54 PM Flag
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Were you out sick when Fact vs. Opinion was covered in school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:55 PM Flag
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Some of the best symphony orchestras are in the Midwest: Chicago, St Louis, Houston. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:54 PM Flag
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fantastic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:55 PM Flag
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Defensive, much?... Hmmmmmmm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:55 PM Flag
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I don't live in the Midwest and didn't grow up there. I did go to college there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:57 PM Flag
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NP (and native New Yorker, married to a midwesterner) The worst posters here are the super-provincial New Yorkers. They just don't realize that most of what they have in manhattan these days is pretty much on par with what you get in any other American city. NYC has fallen far, fast. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:16 PM Flag
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^and I live in NYC, by the way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:16 PM Flag
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I'm US-born and so are my parents and my grandparents, but I will say that Americans are pretty clueless culturally compared to people I know who grew up abroad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:19 PM Flag
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Agree. My parents are European and I spent a lot of time in Europe as a child. But Europeans also have their blind spots, of course. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:20 PM Flag
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No. Most cities have a few museums. NY has 100s. The smartest people come here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:28 PM Flag
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Bwahaha. So many people who live here these days never go to the museums (and actually believe no one else does either). The finance crowd has taken over, and intellectuals they ain't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:30 PM Flag
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Boston's more intellectual, or DC if you like policy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:32 PM Flag
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There are still intellectually-minded people in NYC. They live in Brooklyn. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:35 PM Flag
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they need to do something after band camp days are over [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:36 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:55 PM Flag
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This. No more hyper competitive fancy NYC moms [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:55 PM Flag
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I think everyone's kids grew up and the moms moved on, and have no use for a 'mom board' anymore. And a new generation of NYC moms never really caught on--they probably are all on instagram or whatever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:19 PM Flag
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Absolutely. It was all about NYC issues and schools and being in the know. Now, you ask advice for a rug, and people respond go to Target. In the old days, you would get advice about rare exquisite things. And the moms recommending the cheap stuff, think they are savvy because they are above spending money. Which is 100% fine. But, they don't even realize the difference that there is a certain set of people who seek out, want and value finer things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:59 PM Flag
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I'm an MD/PhD and I respect people who are educated and cultured. I don't respect people who are rich and materialistic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:00 PM Flag
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OR from above: I completely agree with you. But, one can be "rich" and "educated and cultured" at the same time. Not mutually exclusive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:01 PM Flag
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True, but it detracts from the good qualities if one is too focused on materialism. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:03 PM Flag
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Yes, true. But wanting and seeking for something of high quality is not deemed "materialism" when the seeker genuinely appreciates the item's value/history/process of making it/etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:10 PM Flag
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Eh, there's a lot of poverty in the world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:12 PM Flag
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No one said there was not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:13 PM Flag
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Oh, god. You are so tiresome. What is wrong in your life that you attach such importance to things? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:21 PM Flag
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You just made the case about old and new UB......... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:22 PM Flag
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Well, I've been here over 10 years, so... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:23 PM Flag
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^and am a NYC mom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:23 PM Flag
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NP: Why do you care? You sound defensive. Be happy you like the things you like, and let other like whatever they like. No need for judgment! Just be happy and focus on yourself : ) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:30 PM Flag
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I'm enjoying laughing at you, surrounded by your carved rosewood sideboards. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:34 PM Flag
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^you would never see today's responses in the olden days. Not saying it's bad or good. It's just how it was and how it is now. That's all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:00 PM Flag
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People have realized that most "fancy" stuff is really not that much better than the cheap stuff. Signed, furniture designer. But that's okay--you'll never get it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:14 PM Flag
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Neither do you : ( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:23 PM Flag
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Lol. I have some really great furniture I've acquired over the years. I also have kids, so most of it is adorned with peanut butter, despite our best efforts. Get over yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:31 PM Flag
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You're a furniture designer who states that "style matters more than craft or material." Got it ; ) Best of luck to you! I'm off to go enjoy my quality day now : ) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:35 PM Flag
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A console made of engineered wood and veneers is not the same as a console made from rosewood, walnut, etc. Period. No contest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:26 PM Flag
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EXCEPT THAT PEOPLE WANT TO ACTUALLY USE, ENJOY AND CHANGE OUT THEIR "CONSOLES" (??) IN 2018! Very few people are under the illusion that they will have (or want) the same things in ten years. Style matters more than craft or material. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:28 PM Flag
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You just proved the point, once again. Yes, agree. Some people don't care about quality and craft. Very true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:31 PM Flag
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I love it when I get clients who just bought some fusty old ugly UES apartment that some wealthy dowager lived in for decades, with all the "fancy" custom crap and stained silk window treatments that go--right into the trash. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:33 PM Flag
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"Style matters more than craft or material." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:32 PM Flag
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It's true. And frankly, it's better that way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:34 PM Flag
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Not my kind of "furniture designer". I appreciate the craftsmanship of my pieces : ) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:36 PM Flag
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The word "Urban" doesn't apply any longer. Completely different issues discussed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:53 PM Flag
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Sandwich Dad's wife wasn't in labor yet, Inmate Mom was still locked up, Dalton Sweatshirt Mom hadn't gone for her run and Pony Mom's horse hadn't yet foaled. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:08 PM Flag
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The Turkey hadn't yet hit the fresh liner in the can. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:10 PM Flag
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Bowl hadn't gotten stuck in bowl yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:10 PM Flag
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The Fiji water was still in its bottle and everyone wanted a hug from Babby. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:12 PM Flag
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No nanny had ever dared eat three of her host's lobsters at a gathering in the Hamptons. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:16 PM Flag
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And no one thought about bringing anyone lasagna. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:19 PM Flag
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Tina Fey was poking around the site, possibly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:24 PM Flag
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And "Hey, Sugar" was tolerantly received. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:29 PM Flag
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We hadn't yet gathered in Central Park for tug-of-war btw DIL/SIL and SAHM/WOHM mud wrestling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:33 PM Flag
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no - in old days - search feature was internal only to this site and there was a ton of people - you could login - search on a topic and chances are there was a recent conversation about it - CBS absolutely let this site rot - the kid that founded tumblr - initially set this site up and knew exactly what he was doing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:12 PM Flag
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Well this rotten site still provides respite to more than a few women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:25 PM Flag
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Yep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:32 PM Flag
[ - ] S/O of the post from yesterday about the mom who could go home a few hours early but did not want to because it meant the nanny would leave. Do you think that having full time childcare has made it less pleasurable for you to care for your children. Meaning you get regular breaks from it, so upon returning to home you are more aware what a grind it is? 50 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:48 PM Flag
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Oh god. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:49 PM Flag
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Why oh god, it is actually a serious question. I have a theory that if you don't get breaks from it, it is actually easier [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:52 PM Flag
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Well, when you have kids, get back to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:54 PM Flag
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I do have two kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:55 PM Flag
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Uh huh. These kinds of questions sound like the hand-wringing of someone who doesn't have kids or is just clueless. Things are different every day despite routines, etc. Describing something as "less pleasurable to care for your children" is a ridiculous statement in my book. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:57 PM Flag
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semantics and disbelief aside, what is your opinion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:59 PM Flag
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My opinion is that I love my DC, I accept that life is sometimes difficult and other times easier, and that sitting around agonizing over pleasure and non-pleasure is a time suck and a waste. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:01 PM Flag
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Well thank you for spending your precious time writing what you did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:03 PM Flag
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You're welcome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:06 PM Flag
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WOHM here - there may be something too this, in the sense that the transition from work to home in and of itself takes a certain amount of effort. You have an annoying commute and maybe a difficult day and then you have to immediately become toddler Mom when you walk in the door - not always an easy transition mentally. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:00 PM Flag
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Sorry, meant “to” this, don’t jump down my throat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:00 PM Flag
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Don't worry, I am not the crazy grammar lunatic. My opinion is that if I knew what you meant, no need to comment [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:04 PM Flag
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This is my theory. Plus, as a WOHM, you have some autonomy over your day. Coworkers don't scream at you or throw their plates. They might even give you some sort of deference. You have a tiny bit of freedom. When you get home, re-entry is probably hard and you are just a regular slug. Right into the boring, mundane routine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:02 PM Flag
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Hahahahaha about autonomy and lack of screaming. Try dealing with irrational clients who expect you to be at their beck and call 24/7. Not much different than herding toddlers, who at least treat you like you hung the moon on occasion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:04 PM Flag
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Haha I have been in client management so I understand! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:10 PM Flag
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I was totally depressed on maternity leave, now working FT I mostly dread weekends. I dislike having the nanny in my house. I'm not patient and I don't like little kid games. Breaking it up helps a lot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:50 PM Flag
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How old are your kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:54 PM Flag
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14, 10 and 7 but 7 yo has SN. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:55 PM Flag
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Have things gotten easier as your kids have gotten older? I love little kids but I see for my husband that being with them has gotten easier as they have aged [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:56 PM Flag
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For the older two, very much so. The 7 yo is developmentally delayed, significantly, and has serious medical problems and behavioral problems. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:58 PM Flag
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Not easy I am sure, and probably colors your opinion of parenthood [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:03 PM Flag
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Has certainly ruined my relationship with my own parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:04 PM Flag
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Epilepsy mom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:35 PM Flag
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Epilepsy Mom? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:35 PM Flag
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And I will say that part of your theory does make sense to me. When your kid has been seizure free for a while and then starts seizing again, it is incredibly painful, feels like you finally got a breath of air and got shoved back down under the water again. However, going to work is not similar to that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:57 PM Flag
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Its like going away for the weekend. When you get back, after the initial excitement of seeing them you realize how loud they are [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:59 PM Flag
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What type of epilepsy/seizures does your child have? I have epilepsy too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:00 PM Flag
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His first one was partial, then he had uncontrolled tonic clonics for 3 months, then the drop seizures started along with the TCs, then he went on the diet after failing 8 meds and he became daytime seizure free except if he gets over-tired. He still has TCs during his daytime nap and during overnight sleep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:02 PM Flag
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What is the age of your son that has seizures? I am 40 and have been on almost all of the medicines, except the older ones like phenobarbital. What affects me is the lack of sleep, caffeine in excess, hormonal fluctuations. I had RTL surgery for my complex partials. My right hippocampus was the main source of the seizures. That has been since removed along with a small portion of my parietal lobe. I have been seizure free since 2005 and I’m only on 750 mg of Keppra twice a day. I tried to get off of the medication completely but had a TC at the union square subway. I go to NYU comprehensive epilepsy center. I really hope the best for you. My mother went through all of this with me when the Internet was in its’ infant years. There are so many resources available and I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I just know from my end. My mother suffered enough while I was growing up. I hope that you have someone to talk to about this because I know my mom didn’t and I know it would have benefited her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:26 PM Flag
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He is 7, E began at 3. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry you've been through a lot as well as your mom. I know NYU is excellent especially when surgery can be done. My son has generalized seizures without any focus. A vagal nerve stimulator has been suggested but we haven't tried it. We haven't tried CBD either. I started therapy two years ago and I see a psychiatrist once a year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:31 PM Flag
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No I don’t. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:53 PM Flag
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Do you work or SAH? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:54 PM Flag
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Work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:56 PM Flag
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Could you relate to that post as a working parent? Deliberately not going home until bedtime? I work and it made me sad [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:57 PM Flag
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Yes I can. Every person deserves to steal an hour for herself sometimes - it’s good self care and makes you a better parent in the end. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:01 PM Flag
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I guess in theory I agree. I guess just what I have a conflict in my mind with (and it doesn't matter, because I am not her)is that she already has been gone all day. She is gone all week and seemingly not home until bedtime. They are waiting and excited to see her. She could easily have a glass of wine, watch a show and paint her nails after they are asleep. When my husband walks in the door 2 hours early unexpectedly, it is like Santa walking in the door the kids are so excited [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:07 PM Flag
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This is a case where I think you need to keep your judgment to yourself. You are reading a lot into her post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:10 PM Flag
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This. But, not dealing with the brightest bulb here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:16 PM Flag
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Because I disagree with something or have a differing opinion? Makes me dumb? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:18 PM Flag
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You're making up shit that isn't there. Yes, dumb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:19 PM Flag
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What did her post say? It said if I leave now I will have to chase the kids for two hours until bedtime [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:20 PM Flag
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And? Maybe today, she needs a break. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:22 PM Flag
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UB is full of judgement, this is nothing new. Every parent is judged here for different reasons [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:17 PM Flag
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Does he do just fun stuff, no discipline or nagging them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:11 PM Flag
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No. He sometimes pitches in with whatever is going on but a lot of times he still has work to do. Sometimes he does fun stuff [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:17 PM Flag
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I rush home to get my children only because my elderly mother in law watches them after school. Other than that, I am eager to see my children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:02 PM Flag
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Are you concerned over her ability to care for them or you are just looking to give her a break? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:08 PM Flag
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I am not concerned about her ability to take care of them. She enjoys their company very much but I know her 80 yr old body has limits. It’s funny, she will always tell me to let them stay longer and not to rush from work but then she mentions to my husband how being with them makes her tired. Despite her complaining I know she wants to see them. Physical pain is a reminder that she is getting old but I know that seeing them makes her happy and helps her mental state. I can’t complain. I’ve never had to have a babysitter. Quite often if I’m running late from work, she will feed them dinner better than I could ever. They do their homework by themselves and then I’ll check when I get home. I am a teacher so they stay with her 30 minutes to 60 minutes max. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:33 PM Flag
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Children do best with a routine. I want the best for them and also honour nanny’s work. I would want the same respect on the job too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:07 PM Flag
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So you are honoring your nanny but not letting her leave early? I am sure she loves that. By your theory then, you are not honoring your job by sneaking out early either [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:11 PM Flag
[ - ] If you were disappointed in your parents' lack of interest in your kids but you've made peace with it, do you have any advice for how to make peace with it? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:46 PM Flag
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Your parents' don't want to see your kids? So sorry : ( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:47 PM Flag
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Tell yourself: everyone does the best they can. This is as much as they can give, and it is ok. Disappointment stems when our own expectations are not met. Don't expect much from them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:48 PM Flag
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op: My FIL who died in June was so much more kind, generous, and just plain interested in my kids than my parents. He was 10 years older than they are and he was in much worse health. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:51 PM Flag
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Don't think about it. When you feel yourself starting to think about it you remind yourself not to think about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:50 PM Flag
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op: This is good advice, thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:52 PM Flag
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op: During the rare visits, just try to get it over with and stay calm, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:53 PM Flag
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I struggled with this for a long time with both sets of grandparents. All 4 grandparents love their grandchildren but only want to see them occasionally and for brief periods of time. Their priority is travel for 1 couple and work and their own social life for the other. I really wanted just one doting grandparent and felt so jealous of moms who had one or more. I got used to it over time. As with all difficult things you can't change, just accept it and move on. Focus on the good things in your life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:15 PM Flag
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op: Thanks. Did you have obligations to your parents and ILs, or did you manage to curtail those? Did you find it difficult to be polite? I have no trouble being polite to ILs but it's a challenge with my parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:22 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you consider international adoption to be 1) an act of kindness or 2) perpetuates the pressure on destitute people to give in to baby sellers? Or mostly one but a bit of the other? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:45 PM Flag
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Neither [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:46 PM Flag
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Here we go again with the early morning philosophical questions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:46 PM Flag
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2, because that's what the system is all about. The individuals who adopt generally have good intentions but that's sort of beside the point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:46 PM Flag
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In the past, the 2) was completely unknown to the kind people who wanted to adopt. Now it's been exposed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:01 PM Flag
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Haha where exactly are these babies you are so worried about? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:03 PM Flag
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I don't remember what I heard on the news. What prompted my post was some country song I heard on the radio this morning about adopting from Uganda. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:07 PM Flag
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I remember the day I told my Daddy and Mama you're gonna have a grand-kid, yep From Uganda, that's right, we're adopting And she is the cutest little girl that you've ever seen Well I was wrapping my head around being a dad A bigger wrench got thrown in the plans we thought we'd had Now Lauren's showing, got one on the way Yeah that's two under two, hey, what can I say? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:08 PM Flag
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When does school start for you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:18 PM Flag
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10% altruism, 90% selfishness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:47 PM Flag
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Same as biological birthing in order to be a parent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:02 PM Flag
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Except that you are inherently taking a bit more risk with adopting, at least if you know the child has fetal alcohol syndrome or other issues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:05 PM Flag
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Missing the point. Wanting to be a parent is a selfish choice. Nothing altruistic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:09 PM Flag
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But...but..the sun'll come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:14 PM Flag
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Here we go again with the early morning philosophical questions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:47 PM Flag
[ - ] When you go to a restaurant for the first time, what type of things make you happy and make it a positive experience? What things make it a negative experience for you? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:44 PM Flag
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be clean and smell clean [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:46 PM Flag
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An "A" is reassuring [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:48 PM Flag
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cleanliness before delicious food? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:49 PM Flag
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If your dining room smells dirty I cant even fathom how dirty the kitchen must be [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:51 PM Flag
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Positive, first thing is if I have a reservation, getting seated on time. Getting menu, drink order promptly. Negative. I hate when servers explain specials. I want prices. Put a sheet of paper with special in menu if needed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:47 PM Flag
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NP: I love to hear details about the daily dishes! I tend to dine at nicer restaurants and appreciate everything about the actual food and process. Price is irrelevant for me when it comes to restaurants. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:50 PM Flag
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Well bully for you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:51 PM Flag
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You sound like my stepdaughter!! Money matters to many people, including people with a lot of money [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:52 PM Flag
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Never ever said money does not matter. What I said is that personally for me, good and interesting food at a restaurant is worth it. Again, that's me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:04 PM Flag
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You said price is irrelevant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:06 PM Flag
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In this very particular conversation we are having about dishes at a restaurant, yes, to me it is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:11 PM Flag
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I am happy to pay whatever for a dish in a restaurant that is special and interesting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:12 PM Flag
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You can always ask about food, whether or not on special. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:53 PM Flag
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I don't get why they don't write out specials either [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:50 PM Flag
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Trying to rope people in to expensive orders. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:52 PM Flag
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I don't feel like it works, though. When servers explain the specials, I often miss a word or an ingredient. If it's written I can truly picture the dish and make a better decision. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:24 PM Flag
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It may be utilitarian, but there better be soap and paper towels in the rest room. Otherwise, how will the staff wash their hands? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:50 PM Flag
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Good point. Clean bathrooms, fully equipped. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:51 PM Flag
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A dirty bathroom is never a good sign [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:52 PM Flag
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Food: happy face. Leaving friends/family at the end: sad face. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:50 PM Flag
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Not too long of a wait and somewhere comfy and not overcrowded to sit while I'm waiting, with a chance to look at the menu. Attentive but not overly talkative servers. I like help with deciding on the order and I want someone to be there right away if I drop my fork or need more water but I came to talk to the people I'm with, not the waiter and I don't want to be asked how everything is tasting five times with my mouth full or while I'm at the punch line of the story I'm telling. I like variety in the menu but not so many options that it's impossible to choose. Love appetizer platters that can be shared and let you try a few different things. Pacing of the meal is important. Bringing something out right away, bread and oil, eg., when everyone is hungry. But not rushing the courses or rushing us out the door unless we say we're in a hurry. I dont want to be too close to the table next to me. I want fresh silverware between courses. I want my coffee with my dessert (not ten minutes before or after). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:53 PM Flag
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Decor and atmosphere. Being able to easily order off the menu (I like whole foods eg plants, mushrooms). Being able to hear my companion eg conversation (not too loud background noise). Water always refilled. Like the or above clean bathroom. Comfortable seating (DH is 6’5” and dcs are just as tall or taller). I’d rather not see bread or put it next to them :) negative? The lack of those. hair or bugs or scabs or band aids in my food (I’ve had them all). Reflection or lighting that’s glaring (sometimes out of control eg car headlights). Huge wait times between ordering and eating (our reservation last night was 645 pm and we didn’t leave till almost 930 pm). Strange portions (some plates tiny, others huge). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:55 PM Flag
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Plating. I’m a good cook and we have a gorgeous home with view, so the restaurant is usually mostly about the atmosphere decor view. I hate cook cheats like simple (high glcemyic) carbs and fat — any one can make those taste good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:57 PM Flag
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Lately, it seems as though the staff if "hovering" more, interrupting me when I'm talking to ask if everything is all right and trying to clear the plates before everyone is finished. What's the rush? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:06 PM Flag
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Turn & burn. Management wants to maximize # of covers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:28 PM Flag
[ - ] My DS was bullied at the club the other day. Should I write an essay about it, or just try to diplomatically deal with it on my own. Hmm, what should I do? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 11:46 AM Flag
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Wtf she wrote about a headmaster basically ignoring and tolerating anti Semitism and if you can’t distinguish that from the garden variety of bullying we see every day then thank goodness we have people like her who can shine a light on it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 11:55 AM Flag
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+100 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:03 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:18 PM Flag
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Do both. You'll be really popular at your club. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:03 PM Flag
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You are a bigoted jerk. And not smart enough to be funny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:08 PM Flag
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This. So tired of this asshole posting endlessly about this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:23 PM Flag
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God you're a dick. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:22 PM Flag
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For heavens sake, no. Have DS write a letter including all bully buzzwords. Make sure you tell him what to write. Send to club & threaten to sue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:26 PM Flag
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Hi OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:28 PM Flag
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Nope. Nice try though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:03 PM Flag
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Define "bullied" in this particular situation. What happened EXACTLY? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:38 PM Flag
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Another kid said something really mean to my kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:40 PM Flag
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Yawn. Go back to troll school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:43 PM Flag
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OR: I didn't realize this was a joke......... You should really focus on doing constructive things with your time. Good luck to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:44 PM Flag
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Hello Mom of Rolf [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:53 PM Flag
[ - ] You can say CSB, but for the last two months I have been working remote, taking care of my 99 YO mom. Both my siblings are extremely appreciative, but I expected that. What was unexpected was my DD said she was so grateful. I was touched that she felt a degree of responsibility. And yes, DD wants me to move grandma near her, but we need to stabilize grandma. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:06 AM Flag
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yeah, I would not move a 99yo. that said she also won't stabilize at that age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:57 AM Flag
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Well thank you DR. We well get medical team that can move her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 11:05 AM Flag
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np: You'd be surprised. My friend's 99yo mother was at a party recently and she was pretty spry. My 93yo FIL is pretty "healthy" too--has a little incontinence and he's too proud to go places b/c he's worried about his urinary issues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 11:39 AM Flag
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Thank you. My mom was pretty spry till a fall 3 months ago. Her medical team said it would take 3-6 months for her to get better. She is walking with a cane, watching her beloved Braves on Tv. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 11:45 AM Flag
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Not nice. It’s not a competition. Jesus. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:38 PM Flag
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OP, I thought her comment was helpful and positive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:46 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:52 PM Flag
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haha, I think women are more used to dealing with incontinence by that age and wear adult diapers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:56 PM Flag
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Haha? You have a weird sense of humor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:59 PM Flag
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How old are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you get "are you still alive?" comments when you forget to answer texts? 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:05 AM Flag
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If someone ever text me this I will never reply him again [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:07 AM Flag
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LOL why? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:12 AM Flag
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np: Cause it's a totally obnoxious thing. It's basically 'how dare you not text me back immediately' self-centered BS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:04 PM Flag
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np: I think it really depends. Has it been 5 minutes or a week since they texted you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:43 PM Flag
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nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:07 AM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 05:38 AM Flag
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I'd never respond to that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 05:56 AM Flag
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Reply “yes, just not interested.” [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 06:13 AM Flag
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from who? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 10:58 AM Flag
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I'd take that as a little jest, nothing bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 11:07 AM Flag
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It's pushy and obnoxious under the guise of "just kidding!" If you want to resume the thread of a dropped conversation there are a million ways to do this politely. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:04 PM Flag
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100% [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:24 PM Flag
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I feel like sending that text to a distant relative. I juat visited them 3 weeks ago and they had a baby a few days ago. I just got a one sentence text about the birth of their baby. I was planning on giving them money as a gift but now I feel like saying forget about it. I don't have any other social media connection. I guess I'm supposed to call but I was wondering how much I meant to this relative. There have been little signs and the reaction from their spouse has been hot and cold. They went radio silent. It's just weird. You think if it was an emergency they would let the relatives know. Whatever. Guess they really just a "distant" relative. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 11:29 AM Flag
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they had a baby a few days ago and you are expecting more than a text? they are likely exhausted. geez [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 11:39 AM Flag
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Omg, this! They had a freaking baby and you're making it about you? You have got to be trolling. They have a few other things to deal with than needy distant relatives. Jfc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:06 PM Flag
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I knew it might sound like this, but a dad can step out and make a quick 2 minute phone call. Or a quick text follow up. Like I said, there were other signs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:45 PM Flag
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How many family members do they have? Do they all deserve a 2 minute phone call? You are being ridiculous here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:28 PM Flag
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You sound demanding. I wouldn't respond to you either. The kind of person who was "thinking of giving money" to the child but makes it so contingent on texts is not a devoted relative. Yuck, keep the money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:02 PM Flag
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Sure. But see for me money is tight. I was going to scrape up what I could to help them out. Now I feel like it would be unwanted. I'm sure I sound demanding. I guess it's demanding to want to hear from your sibling how the baby is, if they are healthy etc. But we are distant. I think I'll just back off because it's always been awkward. Though they talked for me for hours about the baby and how they hope I could come up to see them. It's always this hot and cold crap. First they say, we want you to be apart of our lives, then don't tell me when their birthday is or anything like. I was looking forward to our kids celebrating each other's birthday parties together. I guess it was too much to ask because I found out about it later and was kind of confused why they didn't want us there after telling us they wanted to be closer. I was afraid that the baby might not have been healthy. I guess I thought a 1 min text "everything's fine" with a pic is too much to ask for. I don't think I will go out of my way for them anymore. They say one thing but it's always mixed messages like this. You guys are right I guess. If I sound needy or crazy than this doesn't need to continue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:53 PM Flag
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I never get that because I respond to my texts in a timely manner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:01 PM Flag
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I have one friend who just texts 'hi' and then expects me to write back and basically start/sustain a conversation. The other person doesn't want to do any work, but wants to get credit for keeping in touch/reaching out. Yeah, no thank you. Ask me something or tell me something, but don't try to guilt me into communicating with you when you're basically just hitting me and saying 'tag.' [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:07 PM Flag
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My sister and I text this to each other. We constantly text through out the day and if one doesn't respond in about a day we usually text that. It's our way of saying "everything ok?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:12 PM Flag
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And you guys don't find that obnoxious? I mean, clearly the other person is busy and they'll get back to you when they can. Prodding them and asking for proof of life is pretty pushy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:23 PM Flag
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NP: they are siblings, for christ's sake. Acquaintance or whatever, different story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:27 PM Flag
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Disagree. If her and her sister enjoy it, that's great for them. My sister and I would never do this and would think it was obnoxious. People are still alive if they haven't responded to one text. Multiple urgent texts and phone calls....sure, cause to worry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:31 PM Flag
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Whatever. YOU find it obnoxious. OTHERS don't. Chill the fuck out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:33 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:42 PM Flag
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Yes, from my mother. She is a narcissistic and borderline woman. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:45 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:58 PM Flag
[ - ] What ethnities/nationalities age the best/worst? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:03 AM Flag
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You are worst and I am best. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:03 AM Flag
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ftw! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:07 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:58 PM Flag
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black don't crack [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:07 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 05:52 AM Flag
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Fat fills the crack [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 09:01 AM Flag
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Fat don't crack. Hangs down like the jowls of a bulldog. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 09:02 AM Flag
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Heh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:39 PM Flag
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Those with fair skin like the Irish, age poorer than let’s say Dominicans [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:10 AM Flag
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"Age more poorly" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 08:58 AM Flag
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K. Dominican women get fat. So you can’t tell. Aretha Franklin didn’t have wrinkles because she was fat. When she lost weight she had tons of wrinkles and saggy skin. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:40 PM Flag
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Indians age well [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:15 AM Flag
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You must mean dot not feather. Indians from India age very poorly. The women get flabby with big potbellies after their first child. They also have extreme hair thinning. Indian women are incredibly beautiful until 25 but the immediate decline is really awful [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:39 PM Flag
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No, same thing. They get fat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:40 PM Flag
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Huh. I don't know. My neighborhood's predominantly Asian. Chinese and Korean women are really careful with their skin here. They wear these massive visors. And the visors only seem to get bigger as they get older. I thought my friend's was big, but then her mom came to visit and looked practically ready to weld. I've been talking to a mom at school while she tried to shade herself by holding her son's jacket over her head and tenting an overhang to shade her face. So, they definitely age better than those of us who are white or the other people here who are technically Asian, but from India or the Philippines. But I don't know if that's from better preventative care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 08:37 AM Flag
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People! Everyone ages and gets saggy skin. They lose the fat pads in their faces too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:41 PM Flag
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"Technically Asian"?? Wtf is that supposed to mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:43 PM Flag
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My Asian friend told me once that Chinese ladies are forever youthful until one day, bam! they are old grannies pushing their little carts around looking like the crypt keeper. Seems about right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 11:08 AM Flag
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This is because sun protection and good skincare just buys you a little time--nothing stops the aging process. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:06 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:42 PM Flag
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Right? I see so many super old looking BENT over Chinese women in Chinatown. It’s shocking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:42 PM Flag
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This is a stupid ass game. Go away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:21 PM Flag
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+1000 collapse [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:22 PM Flag
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Ditto [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:23 PM Flag
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Flag and collapse. Are you 6 years old? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Renting a house for a week. The night before we are supposed to pick up keys. We are notified that they will not provide any linen and towels. How common is that ? I feel annoyed because nothing was disclosed when we booked place. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:00 AM Flag
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Not the case with the house I rent, not certain what is common, sorry to hear your problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:07 AM Flag
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Depends on locale. Hampton generally included, LBI no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:54 AM Flag
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I've had this with the past couple of houses I rented. But we knew this; we've always been given the "house rules" upon booking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:59 AM Flag
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Did the ad list linens and towels, or did you just assume it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 05:54 AM Flag
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We assumed it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 11:49 AM Flag
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We used to rent beach cottages in CT that had the same deal. They were very bare bones but also cheap. Did you get a really good deal? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 06:05 AM Flag
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No it was quite expensive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 11:50 AM Flag
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It’s also house that sleeps 12. Not a cottage. So carrying bedsheets and towels is a lot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 11:51 AM Flag
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All depends on where you are traveling. Most houses in the cape and the islands do not provide linens. Many times there are linen rental companies nearby. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 11:07 AM Flag
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That’s nuts. Have rented dozens of houses—all were fully equipped [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:10 PM Flag
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In some locations that's how it is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:27 PM Flag
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This is why I always is a realtor! Hate Airbnb. Call an agency and see if you can rent linens. It’s obnoxious that they’re telling you day before arrival. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:58 PM Flag
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Sounds like a dump. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Check out this before and after. I want to look like this!! 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:42 AM Flag
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Wow - is the difference just hair & makeup? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:06 AM Flag
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I think [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:18 AM Flag
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mainly lighting [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:08 PM Flag
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Pretty either way. I prefer the before. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:27 AM Flag
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same [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:48 AM Flag
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Her hair looks washed out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 09:04 AM Flag
[ - ] DH and I have a date night tomorrow night. We were on a family trip recently which was really fun but we haven't had much alone time together in a few months. DH told me to pick a bar and restaurant. It's too hard to make a decision - any place in mind that we should try? Realize that summer is almost over and it'll be crowded again in the city very soon. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:34 AM Flag
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I’d do bar and hotel. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:36 AM Flag
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^^Hotel to Night..Gramercy Park Hotel [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:38 AM Flag
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Jade Bar is fun^^ who cares about food [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:39 AM Flag
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OP I don't love Maialino but do like that hotel and haven't tried bar there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:42 AM Flag
[ - ] S/O Why does UB assume second wives were the OW? Most men don't marry the OW. Most OW would not want to take over your spot and sleep next to your snoring dh every night. It seems so old fashioned. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:34 AM Flag
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Because they are usually the jealous ones and more easily threatened. They know they “won” a cheater, so they know he’s capable of ditching his wife and kids for the next woman who turns his head. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:57 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:00 AM Flag
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Why do you assume dh was a cheater? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:02 AM Flag
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I'm not saying he is, but when 2nd wives come on and start on in how resentful the kids are, or grousing about how the ex-wife is involved, it suggests that she isn't secure. She married a man with baggage...now she needs to live with it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:15 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 05:19 AM Flag
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That's the men's fault. They don't take responsibility for the kids until they have a second wife in place to do the work for them. They date these younger women and do fun, romantic things and never include the kids or give the women any inkling that it will all change after they get married. Then once a stepmother is in place, the fathers suddenly want more time with the kids - except they want the second wife to handle it all. I've seen it happen in at least six friends' divorces. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 05:58 AM Flag
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Yep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:59 PM Flag
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Np I’m a second wife and this is true for me. DH said Bm didn’t want dcs meeting anyone until spouse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:01 PM Flag
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Wrong. Most second wives are OW. There's nearly always another woman when a man leaves his marriage. He doesn't leave one hook-up for sex without having another supply ready to pick up the slack. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:23 PM Flag
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Less than 1% of affairs lead to marriage. Men don’t want to marry their OWs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:00 PM Flag
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Np I replied above. Fwiw it was the wife that had affairs and left. Women cheat too. DH was clueless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:02 PM Flag
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Doesn’t matter. They are the YOUNGER one. They end up being the DH’s nurse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone else hate to drink? Makes me feel awful in every way possible 48 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:14 AM Flag
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How old? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:16 AM Flag
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45 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:16 AM Flag
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Abused alcohol in the past? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:17 AM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:18 AM Flag
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Parents abused it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:19 AM Flag
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No, never drank. Father was diabetic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:22 AM Flag
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Sounds like you have some special issues [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:29 AM Flag
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Fuck you, boozebag...just bc your haggard ass soaks up gin like a sponge and you can't get through a day w/out a few cocktails doesn't mean everyone needs to drink. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 09:01 AM Flag
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Have you had bad experiences? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:16 AM Flag
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Just healthwise, acid reflux, headaches, dehydration, bloating [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:22 AM Flag
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Really? From a glass of wine? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:25 AM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:30 AM Flag
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Do you have problems with temperature regulation, cold hands or feet, fainting when standing too long, anxiety, insomnia? You might have dysautonomia. Estimated to be as much as 8% of the population. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:34 AM Flag
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Me too! I used to drink socially and I miss it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:01 PM Flag
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Plus even if I have 1 glass of wine I find I wake up all night long. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:03 PM Flag
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Really? I find one glass of a good red wine with a good meal..enjoyable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:18 AM Flag
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I wouldn't say it's awful but I don't drink. I just don't see what is the big deal. It's almost as though kids see it as taboo until certain age that it becomes this milestone to drink until you black out. It's unappealing. I don't find alcohol to be tasty, either. I can have lots of fun sober. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:19 AM Flag
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Do you have a lot of sensitivities? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:20 AM Flag
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Not really. I just think I can't tolerate alcohol. Makes me feel like I miss out on "relaxing wine at dinner." "Moms night out etc" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:24 AM Flag
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What is your background? Asian? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:26 AM Flag
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Eastern European, Jewish [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:30 AM Flag
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You May have other health issues you shouldn’t react so much to a 4 ounce glass of wine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:32 AM Flag
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Yep [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:21 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:22 AM Flag
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Explain awful? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:21 AM Flag
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Headaches, reflux, dehydration [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:24 AM Flag
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None of that happens to me. You sound sensitive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:27 AM Flag
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None of that happens to me. You sound sensitive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:27 AM Flag
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You sound like an alcoholic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 09:01 AM Flag
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Actually, since alcoholism is progressive, PP won't experience this until sometime down the line. It takes a while, but it's not if it will happen, but when. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:31 PM Flag
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I am 45 and can't drink anymore either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:23 AM Flag
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At all? What does it do to you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:25 AM Flag
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Wine or anything but beer - I get a migraine. I can have one beer and then I just feel kind of bad the next day. It isn't worth it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:38 AM Flag
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+1 I started to get bad migraines at 30 or so, and noticed some of them seemed triggered by alcohol. Cut all of it out, don't drink anything anymore and haven't in years (I'm 54 now). Just never really missed it. No one seems to notice that I don't drink when we're out--in 24 years, only one person has ever commented on it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 04:25 AM Flag
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Wow! I am 48 and have a cocktail or glass of good wine 2x a month, no headaches, reflux or dehydration...though I do drink a lot of water everyday [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:28 AM Flag
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Yup. I am 35. Never much of a drinker, had a couple of bad episodes in my 20s (vomiting, blacking out). Now after 2 glasses I feel dehydrated, light headed and also cannot have an orgasm if I drink. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:30 AM Flag
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You have had drinking abuse...different story [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:32 AM Flag
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Maybe 2 or 3 times. I eat very clean now, no processed foods, so I guess it has more to do with that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:35 AM Flag
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Lol, no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 05:57 AM Flag
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It's not that hate to drink alcohol but I just no longer tolerate the alcohol and sweetners. I like to take a beer but the results are not pretty. D2 which makes me pee alot. reflux if drink too close to bedtime. dehydration which make me pee even more. I also live in the middle of wine country and infact when we sold our land, it was repurposed to a vineyard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:36 AM Flag
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Absolutely. I don’t like the taste and I’d had to get a hangover. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 05:20 AM Flag
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Nope. Love it. Wish I was younger so I could drink more without getting sleepy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 05:56 AM Flag
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I love getting up earlier than everyone else and being productive in the morning, and drinking the night before ruins that. I'm also halfway through losing 30 pounds, and alcohol is just empty calories. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 06:00 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 09:02 AM Flag
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Drinking after menopause has been an issue. I feel like crap the next day and while drinking I feel very flushed. I've lately just passed on having alcohol. No hard drinking in my life either. One or 2 drinks socially once a week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 11:09 AM Flag
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NP: same, my tolerance went way down in my 50s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:25 PM Flag
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I don't like the taste and it can bring on migraines and disrupt my sleep. But bc people are so uncomfortable w people who don't drink, I usually have 1 and sip it slowly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:42 PM Flag
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I hate to have too much alcohol. Otherwise, I have a glass with dinner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 12:51 PM Flag
[ - ] I have an important meeting with a leader in my field with whom I have had a sometimes acrimonious relationship. But because some external circumstances have changed, we both recognize that it would be mutually advantageous to work toward our shared goal. The problem is that he used a mutual acquaintance to reach out to me and arrange the meeting. The acquaintance is a consultant, and it my last interaction with him, he betrayed the trust of the person he was working for in a similar capacity. He was fired for essentially leaking what happened in a meeting not unlike the one I am having tomorrow, but that information is not widely-known. (I am friends with the person he betrayed.) My question: how can I delicately ask to meet with the leader without the consultant there at least some of the time (I do not want the specifics of our conversation, particularly if it gets to "deal making" known; and if I do, do I tell the leader what I know so that he can protect himself? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:11 AM Flag
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Call the Leader. lets have coffee, just the two of us. Do not discuss consultant. If Leader wants consultant there, just say you think it will be more productive with just two of us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:19 AM Flag
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OP: Thanks. Meeting is already scheduled and consultant will be there. Didn't know this until my assistant alerted me (it was on the calendar invite). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:27 AM Flag
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You will just have to have a second mtg if you want to keep some discussed info secret. You cannot kick consultant out of this mtg now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:31 AM Flag
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This. Also op - excellently written top post :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 01:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Stupid question: if you just had the trim painted in a bedroom this morning, would you allow cleaning lady to clean floors? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:08 AM Flag
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Allow? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:15 AM Flag
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No, not for 48 hours at least. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:15 AM Flag
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Op thank you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 03:17 AM Flag
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No. It will be sticky and will get dingy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 08.15.18, 11:10 AM Flag
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