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[ - ] So I thought it was a good thing to pay off a line of credit but it lowered my credit score. I'm not sure how to increase my score, it dropped quite a bit because I now have less available credit. Any suggestions? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:42 PM Flag
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Pay off more so total debt goes below 10% of available and dont close the account/kill the credit availability. If you open a new account, it will help long-term but short-term it will add a credit check. Put your SS# into creditkarma- it will show you the factors and tell you how close you are to dividing points and where marginal moves might help the score. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:53 PM Flag
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Thank you. I have been paying off a lot of debt accrued from separation & divorce and didn't even think that paying something off ( which I was so proud/relieved to do) would be a negative. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:57 PM Flag
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Can you keep the line open but not use it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:59 PM Flag
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I stupidly closed the account and switched banks. maybe I can get a new line of credit where I am now banking? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:09 PM Flag
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that will certainly knock it down because they will do a credit check that won't come off for 2-3 yrs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:23 PM Flag
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Well then I will focus on paying my credit card down to zero but keep it open. At least it will increase my available credit which should hopefully increase my score. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Favorite hostess gifts? Heading to the Hamptons to stay with a friend. 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:38 PM Flag
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Wine and baked goods - homemade or from a good bakery. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:42 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:46 PM Flag
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Wine, fruit, dessert, breakfast muffins [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:42 PM Flag
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THIS! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:32 PM Flag
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Honestly, I don't need any gifts. I think bringing some good snacks, couple bottles of good wine, offering to help w meal prep and clean up then leaving your room tidy is plenty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:43 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:30 PM Flag
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Friends just arrived at our house with a nice selection of Murray's cheeses, cracker, nuts and a few bottle of wine. Yum. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:43 PM Flag
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This. Cheese is what's up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:16 PM Flag
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How to be a UB approved guest: Bring a present, come with food, towels, help out with meals/clean-up, pay for dinner out, and then make yourself scarce as they always say they love guests who go and do their own thing. Strip bed. Make sure to leave sandy shoes outside. Perhaps vacuum and run a load of laundry. Send a thank you and then another present. I'm sure we will still hear about what a terrible guest you were here on UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:46 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:49 PM Flag
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I think I would prefer to pay for lodging instead of doing all that. When I invite guests over I only expect pleasant company and good laughs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:50 PM Flag
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yeah, don't bring me towels or do any vacuuming or stripping beds. that gets done by the housekeeper when i'm not here. but do come with snacks and wine and offer to help with a meal or something. and be funny! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:06 PM Flag
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nobody out here needs beds stripped or has guests bring their own towels. i've never heard of such a thing. that's what housekeepers do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:31 PM Flag
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Right? OR sounds very "house in the Poconos" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:32 PM Flag
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Wine, cheese, toy or two for the kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:49 PM Flag
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no toys please. signed, Hamptons mom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:05 PM Flag
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Snacks and booze. Maybe a pool toy or some bubbles if we all have kids. And I love it when guests offer to swap paperbacks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:50 PM Flag
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Just don't steal the washcloths. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:52 PM Flag
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At least not the whole set. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:31 PM Flag
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I bring wine/food when I arrive and then send thank you gift after - find it easier to think of the right gift after i've seen their home, noticed what they might not have, might look good or be useful. for example, my cousins beach house i noticed that every year the salt air really took a toll on their beach chairs (rust), so that became a good gift a couple of times. another friend lamented that her teens kept breaking their glassware, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:01 PM Flag
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Fine olive oil, cheeses and wine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:06 PM Flag
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This! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:31 PM Flag
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You ARE at Eataly already, aren't you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:32 PM Flag
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Take us out to dinner one night or buy the steaks for the grill. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Rampant cheating at Success Academy. Draft report finds that some teacher cheating is occurring at SA on both internal assessments and state exams. Eva fired staff over content noting multiple staff members alleging that SA teachers may have prepared students for specific questions on tests, allowed them to copy answers from each other and fudged scores on exams. SA spokesman said SA found no evidence to substantiate the allegations. http://www.educationdive.com/news/documents-allege-cheating-by-success-academy-teachers/418941/ 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:35 PM Flag
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I knew it!!! The only explanation why every single branch with very different demos were getting very similar ELA-Math scores: the 20% bonus EVERY SA teacher has been paid for cheating on these scores if their class achieves +80% of level 3-4. Rampant and systematic cheating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:37 PM Flag
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Eva PAYS her teachers to cheat... so: they cheat. That's why nobody at SA can pass the SHSAT test, because it is not administered by the cheating SA teachers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:38 PM Flag
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This is a couple of weeks old--did it make news at the time? I've been under a rock. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:38 PM Flag
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This makes it even funnier: "In a wide-ranging interview with the Queens Chronicle’s editorial board, Success Academy Founder and CEO Eva Moskowitz criticized the task force created by the Department of Education to ensure schools are adhering to academic policies — saying she doesn’t believe it will be enough to curb alleged rule-breaking by staffers." http://www.qchron.com/editions/queenswide/eva-moskowitz-slams-cheating-task-force/article_77125cfe-cf72-5b84-87f5-2e20c24934a1.html [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:41 PM Flag
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Back when Eva Moskowitz was busy pretending Success Academy didn't pay its teachers to cheat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:42 PM Flag
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I disagree with this .. Success academy does a great job with impoverished children [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:42 PM Flag
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We know about the abusing treatment, now we know about their cheating on scores which explains why parents with poor SA AA kids from Harlem ended up so disappointed that NONE of them passed SHSAT tests. The jury is out on what SA really delivers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:44 PM Flag
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Tracking? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:53 PM Flag
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NP: I'm a fan of tracking by subject with mobility [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:04 PM Flag
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2,000 $ fee to company with every recruited kid. Hence the advertisements. Lets butn the witch, eva, at the stake [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:07 PM Flag
[ - ] Where can I find tank tops/sleeveless shirts that cover that awful bra/armpit fat? arms are in good shape but the bra fat kills it. 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:35 PM Flag
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Learn to love yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:36 PM Flag
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I hate the arm pit fat! :( And I am so thin [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:37 PM Flag
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Everybody has it. It's like having arms. It just is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:39 PM Flag
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Try buying wider bras--ones with three, even four closures. They cover a wider area under the armpit and you don't get as much of a blub effect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:39 PM Flag
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It's not the bra. It's the armpit fat that's there no matter what the bra situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:42 PM Flag
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Hmm. In recent years, I've found surprisingly nice sleeveless tops at Gap that are high under the arm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:47 PM Flag
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The problem is between your ears. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:46 PM Flag
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I hate the upper arms. don't wear sleeveless and now there are funny tan lines. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:45 PM Flag
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This is the holy grail of fashion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:37 PM Flag
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Your bra may be the issue [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:38 PM Flag
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It's definitely not the bra. I just have a lot of armpit fat, despite being slim. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:42 PM Flag
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front or back? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:41 PM Flag
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front! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:41 PM Flag
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look for the tops that almost but not quite have a cap sleeve. angles right out to top of shoulder. and then do chest press/pushups - the more active the muscle, the more fat gets burned there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:54 PM Flag
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This is a myth. You cannot work off fat in a specific area. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:57 PM Flag
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^^^but you can build up surrounding muscle, which will make the area look better [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:58 PM Flag
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you can't "burn it off" a specific area but in every part of your body, if you keep the muscles active, less fat will accummulate there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:40 PM Flag
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Lipo? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:48 PM Flag
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MD mom: it's breast tissue, so won't work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:51 PM Flag
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Radiologist and breast imager here... Yes, lips works. Breast tissue is predominantly fat anyways. I see lipo all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:30 PM Flag
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Try a Coobie or other cami bra. Will not pinch your arm schmoo. (Skinny friend of mine with big boobs used to call this phenomenon "arm schmoo.") [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:51 PM Flag
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loft had a bunch that were loose [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:55 PM Flag
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What about a layered shirt? I am wearing a plain white tank top now (from MODELLS lol) that is very high under the arm. It would work great under a trendier shirt. But it is thick enough to be worn alone [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:57 PM Flag
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so like a muscle shirt? I love these but they are so hard to find. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Boring, I know. But, the key to losing weight is simple math. I've tried EVERYTHING and the only thing that works for me is counting calories. Sucks! 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:31 PM Flag
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It's true. I'm down twenty pounds from calorie counting and walking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:32 PM Flag
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Nice work! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:36 PM Flag
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Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:38 PM Flag
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Keep it up. I need to lose 25. Oy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:46 PM Flag
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Eat less. Jump up and down more. Simple :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:44 PM Flag
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What I hate is that there has been a shift in the last couple years, and now in order to lose weight I have to feel truly deprived. I have to get used to the feeling of hunger almost all the time. Not sure I can do it again. I'm happily married, DH is an "a$$ man" anyway, why do I want to starve myself to be a size 4. But I sure do love how I look in clothes at a size 4. Ugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:47 PM Flag
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np: i think after 40, you really need to work hard on keeping up your muscle density, esp your core muscles. dieting is a downward spiral, the less you eat, the less you need. and it's probably not healthy in the long run for us to live on air and wine ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:02 PM Flag
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I joke that I could live on toast and wine but yeah, really not healthy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:16 PM Flag
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hey at least you can still have carbs!!! I would rather eat three slices of toast and drink wine all day, than eat a barrel of lettuce with 3 ounces of steamed chicken breast. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:22 PM Flag
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you and me both! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:28 PM Flag
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IMHO, healthy fats are impt to satiety and weight loss. steamed chicken and plain greens are diet killers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:38 PM Flag
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I hear ya. It really is about cutting calories, but for overall health, exercise is important too. I lost some weight recently and am back to being quite small (105 lbs, I'm short and very small boned) and I notice that I can feel by butt bones now when I sit on something hard, whereas when I was younger but the same weight, this was not an issue! So, my a$$ has flattened I guess and that butt tissue shifted to my stomach- there's a little pooch there that isn't going anywhere! Like you, I really do like how I look in clothes as a size 2 or 4. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:20 PM Flag
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exercise is very impt - you lose muscle mass w age - and as women in particular, our fat shift w hormonal changes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:33 PM Flag
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Same, but it actually doesn't suck... quite the opposite once you get the hang of it. That is, if you "splurge" and, say, have 150-200 calories of chocolate, you haven't undone something awful like when you do some elimination diet or something. Or if you have a day when you go over your calorie allotment, you haven't completely failed - you just start over the next day. Makes life easier to live. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:51 PM Flag
[ - ] What are the 2T K-12 schools? 36 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 05.27.16, 05:31 PM Flag
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Unofficially, off the top of my head, strong 2T high schools are Riverdale, NBS, Fieldston, CSH, maybe Grace, CGPS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:36 PM Flag
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Columbia Grammar is a 4T. Grace not on the list [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:21 PM Flag
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Fieldston is TT [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:22 PM Flag
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In your mind only. College placement nowhere near TT levels. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:52 PM Flag
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CHS, Marymount, Browning, Columbia Grammar, Grace, Friends,UNIS, imo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:38 PM Flag
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No hill schools? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:39 PM Flag
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Forgot Riverdale, Fieldston. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:44 PM Flag
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NP - I agree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:39 PM Flag
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Tiers are base on college placement - Browning has none. Grace, Friends and UNIS are 3T at best. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:39 PM Flag
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Browning is a k-12 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:43 PM Flag
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It really varies class to class. Some years placements are much better than others. I disagree on GCS and UNIS. Many UNIS kids go to other countries of uni - usually much cheaper. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:56 PM Flag
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UNIS college placement is mostly to US colleges and is unimpressive as such. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:39 PM Flag
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Not in my kid's class. Do you have a child there? Many went to UK and other Euro schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:13 PM Flag
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So what. Almost of a third of the class went international. That can't be said of your precious Dalton or Trinity. Not everyone needs or wants to go to U Penn. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:40 PM Flag
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The US college placement is crappy that's what. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:45 PM Flag
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Exactly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:37 PM Flag
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CGPS is 4T [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:21 PM Flag
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Not a fan of the school, but the college placement has improved significantly, and I would put it on the same footing as Riverdale. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:32 PM Flag
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trevor? or is that 3T [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:40 PM Flag
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How about Brooklyn? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:42 PM Flag
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All the above + Hewitt. 2T / 3T distinction is basically meaningless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:45 PM Flag
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Hewitt = 3T [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:40 PM Flag
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Leave it to TT mom. God I love UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:57 PM Flag
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CGPS is 2T? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:43 PM Flag
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In its dreams, maybe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:04 PM Flag
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It so depends on your kid. If the school works for your family, it's TT. You people are go into rating. Jeez... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:57 PM Flag
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I listed my dc's school as 2T. It works for us but it doesn't have the same level of college placement and teaches a broader range of learners. I'm not insecure about this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:59 PM Flag
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Thats right TTs are all about academic rigor, the result of which is the top college placement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:47 PM Flag
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Academic rigor + selection & counseling out. More rigor doesn't turn a LeHigh student into a Harvard student - you have to get to the potential Harvard student in the first place...! And even TT only send 65% of the class to good schools, 3T sends 50% to the same schools. Its all about the kids, not the school !! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:56 PM Flag
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TTs send around 60% to top 20 colleges. Top 30 probably brings that number to 90%. TTs counsel out a tiny percentage of students. Academic rigor has everything to do with the school, with the depth of material it teaches and how it teaches it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:03 PM Flag
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NP: my dc is at a TT and i still agree with you. i think that the difference is what gets each kid to max out their potential. IOW, for some kids, more rigorous demands push them to excel, a more competitive peer group pushes them to work harder, etc. for other kids, the opposite happens, it makes them feel insecure or anxious and they actually would do better in a school that allows them more latitude. so i don't think there's inherently a lehigh kid or a harvard kid, i think a student does better if they are in the right school for them - and better might be HYP rather than top 20 school OR better might be top 20 school rather than top 30 OR better might be getting into art school or an honors program and at a "lower tier" school bc they have a passion and their area of interest is more impt than the "tier" of the shcool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:22 PM Flag
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Depends on skin color. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:36 PM Flag
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the term "TT" has nothing to do with personal preference and everything to do with college placement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:40 PM Flag
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Can't believe no good response on this yet. Unlike the 7 TTs, there is no agreement on which schools are 2T. BUT definitely yes are Riverdale, Fieldston, NBS. Riverdale has the strongest college placement of the 2T schools. And definitely no are CGPS and UNIS. There is disagreement on Marymount , Grace, and CSH. Also, people push for Browning, Hewitt, and Friends to be in the 2T category as well, but despite the fact that these schools do have competitive admissions (unlike CGPS and UNIS), their college matriculations are pretty bad and nowhere near the "definite yes" schools. I will note that Browning and Hewitt seem to have improved considerably in recent years. There is also disagreement on how to treat the K-8 schools, some of which are in the 2T category for prestige and rigor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:58 PM Flag
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Fieldston, NBS, CSH [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 10:00 PM Flag
[ - ] which school has strong reading & writing? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 05.27.16, 05:30 PM Flag
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Speyer. Walls covered with work the kids have written. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:31 PM Flag
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lol! wow that's original! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:12 PM Flag
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Catholic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:43 PM Flag
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most public schools [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:01 PM Flag
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You're delusional. Writing is an iterative process impossible to do well with large class size. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:19 PM Flag
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TTs would be the strongest by far. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:20 PM Flag
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Unless, of course, the school has a "theory" that it's not good to teach either before a certain age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:03 PM Flag
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There is a theory that reading and math is some sort of race. Point is that by middle school TTs do more than just catch up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:38 PM Flag
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+1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:09 PM Flag
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ITA!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:09 PM Flag
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Dalton - but it is a school that does not have HW until 3rd grade so if you want your young dc to have lots of work look elsewhere. But if you plan on staying at Dalton then I promise you will have a DC who is a wonderful write, public speaker, and has superb analytical abilities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:11 PM Flag
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Hunter HS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:22 PM Flag
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HUNTERIZER!!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:31 PM Flag
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NESTORIZER!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:37 PM Flag
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Nobody mentioned the N word yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:37 PM Flag
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Speyer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:46 PM Flag
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Avenues!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:48 PM Flag
[ - ] I would like to take 13 year old dd on a girls weekend, we need some bonding time. Any favorite destinations? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:26 PM Flag
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I like Washington DC, Boston, Philadelphia and they are easy to do for a weekend. Are you outdoorsy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:29 PM Flag
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Berkshires [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Holy shit! http://www.people.com/article/amber-heard-files-domestic-restraining-order-against-depp 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:23 PM Flag
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Was there ever much doubt that Depp was nuts - that is what makes him such a good actor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:25 PM Flag
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I agree - I doubt it would be easy to be married to Jack Nicholson, either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:26 PM Flag
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Exactly. True for all the great actors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:28 PM Flag
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hopper [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:53 PM Flag
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she is trying to smear him for more $$$. wow, this is getting ugly. he never should have left Vanessa. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:29 PM Flag
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Love her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:08 PM Flag
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everyone did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:15 PM Flag
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wow. wasnt expecting that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:29 PM Flag
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Sure. She's realizing that her 5-minute marriage will net her next to nothing, despite the lack of a prenup. She's going to start pulling out all the stops. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:32 PM Flag
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I just looked at her imdb. She's not exactly burning up the film industry. Her projects in recent years are in the crapper. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:38 PM Flag
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She was married for 20 minutes. She doesn't deserve to get paid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:07 PM Flag
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Hopefully Vanessa Paradis weighs in. I would believe her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:47 PM Flag
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Exactly! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:02 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:07 PM Flag
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She's too classy to roll around in the mud. She also has his children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:07 PM Flag
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I think this is posturing by her, she seems like a nut. Yes, I realize he's a little out there but he strikes me as a gentle person, but WTH do I really know? Not like I know him or her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:21 PM Flag
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No, he's got some sort of rage issues. Remember when they had to halt filming on his Pirates of the Caribbean movie because he hurt his hand? Apparently, he slammed his hand against a glass door or window when he was screaming at Amber on the phone and cut it really badly. Then he was off to rehab for a bit. He's a raging alcoholic and drug user, so this may contribute to his crazy. Crazy + crazy = Super crazy gossip column fodder [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:03 PM Flag
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Well, he does seem like he could be capable of this, and how could she really lie about it? But, she probably provoked him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:11 PM Flag
[ - ] Seriously New Yorker, ANOTHER article about Beyonce? You cannot escape this b****. 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:09 PM Flag
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I agree, when did the arbiter of good taste become so committed to covering pop crap? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:10 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:20 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:21 PM Flag
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I know, it's enough. and they're all hagiographies. remember in the 1980s and 1990s when Madonna was slammed all. the. time. how is beyonce any different? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:12 PM Flag
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Ita. You have to wipe the slobber off the page, a lot of the time. And Madonna is actually comparatively a somewhat more worthwhile subject - she was actually very involved in the art world. Beyonce is hardly an artist - she is a product. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:16 PM Flag
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Neither one of them is even remotely as talented as Taylor Swift. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:18 PM Flag
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Hi troll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:18 PM Flag
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It's the truth whether you like it or not [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:30 PM Flag
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she probably is the most talented of the 3 (she writes her own music/lyrics and plays guitar) but I don't consider her to be in the same category. she is more like Joni Mitchell or Sheryl Crow. Madonna and Beyonce are more provocative, hypersexual entertainers. remember Camille Paglia's epic takedown of Madonna? where's her essay on beyonce? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:35 PM Flag
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Gag [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:23 PM Flag
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I agree [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:32 PM Flag
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Madonna would be totally worthy of New Yorker profile (or did I miss one?). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:45 PM Flag
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I know, I read it despite my better instincts and just thought, why bother to write any of that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:18 PM Flag
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At some point in ~2003 I would say it seemed like there was some acceptance of pop crap like Jay-Z, Justin Timberlake, etc. I guess they ran out of intelligent people with taste, so they just let people write about what they know. Since even really smart kids grew up on pop crap, they were given the reins? Idk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:21 PM Flag
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Look at it this way - it is another sacrifice they have had to make - an advertisement essentially, and the reason why your subscription is $100/year instead of $200/year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:22 PM Flag
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I will pay the $200/year [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:22 PM Flag
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its $40 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:10 PM Flag
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It's different person to person. Like I cancelled so they roped me back in with a $30 dollar subscription but to renew this year it's $99. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:42 PM Flag
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I love the New Yorker but I skip the pop music reviews and features almost every time. I don't know what it is, but they try to apply art where art doesn't really apply. Terrible of me to say, I suppose. I mean, there have been "pop" greats who deserve analysis because those individuals or bands were artists, but I don't see that as much now. Pop seems more a function of industry than talent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:42 PM Flag
[ - ] I just had a patient who was supposed to come back to follow up in a month and she said she had Ramadan so could not come. She is from Yemen. I guess they can't really work normal jobs if they have to stay home for a chunk of time every year. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:07 PM Flag
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^What % of mmuslims have to stay home for Ramadan? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:08 PM Flag
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None. They only have to fast. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:11 PM Flag
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This. I thought it was just food-related? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:11 PM Flag
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She is probably tending to her husband. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:13 PM Flag
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Troll [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:08 PM Flag
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Since you're an MD, can I ask you a question? I keep having brown spotting before my periods. Usually it's the day before. This month it began a week before my period. I had an ultrasound and hormone tests done. Everything is normal. I stopped nursing my toddler in February but I got my period back when he was 8 months so I've had my period for a while. My periods before were always like clockwork. My OB says this could be my new normal. I'm 36. I would like a second opinion since you have some free time. TIA! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:12 PM Flag
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.Omg, why would you copy my post and repaste it? That's really bizarre and creepy! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:15 PM Flag
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Psycho [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:21 PM Flag
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I know a lot of people from Yemen who live in my neighborhood (Egyptians too). They don't stay home for Ramadan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:18 PM Flag
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op: Maybe she just wanted refills. Thanks. Just curious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:28 PM Flag
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We have lots of Yemini men working but I never see the women working. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:24 PM Flag
[ - ] If you were spending 120 on your children's clothes, what would you expect to get for that? 35 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:06 PM Flag
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A dress? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:06 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:12 PM Flag
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where do u shop? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:18 PM Flag
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Funny question. I actually thrift shop quite a bit, but if I am paying full retail that is the first thing that came to mind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:28 PM Flag
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An outfit maybe 2 if I was shopping somewhere cheap like gap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:08 PM Flag
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Wow - Gap is your "cheap" place? Maybe so for me as a fully-grown adult, but I stick to Target and H&M for kids... Zara if I need something more special occasion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:10 PM Flag
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Gap is for play clothes. Very reasonable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:15 PM Flag
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Only on sale. Otherwise a ripoff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:22 PM Flag
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ITA! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:24 PM Flag
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I only buy Gap clothes on sale. They have an online sale every other day. Only an idiot (or a person with money to burn) would pay full price for Gap clothes. - np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:29 PM Flag
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Gap is always on sale. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:33 PM Flag
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Is my kid supposed to have "work" clothes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:00 PM Flag
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12 items that cost around $10. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:08 PM Flag
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Where do you buy $10 clothes? Salvation Army ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:13 PM Flag
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You can get an entire summer wardrobe at childrens place on that budget. Especially if they have a sale and you have a promo code [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:15 PM Flag
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exactly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:26 PM Flag
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What bubble do you live in? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:20 PM Flag
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NP Carters, ON, Gap on sale, H&M, a whole bunch of shit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:29 PM Flag
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Oh honey, stay pretty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:00 PM Flag
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I shop Carter's sales. they always have coupons and sales. Most of DS's pants cost less than $15 t-shirts definitely less than $10. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:17 PM Flag
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^^ I also shop Boden and Crewcuts, there prices double, so pants 25-30 max (rarely) but I love the t-shirts, so always wait for double sales. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:18 PM Flag
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hey, me too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:21 PM Flag
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I love Carter's too bad DD outgrew them already! I think the best quality for the prices! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:22 PM Flag
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OP I actually posted this because with the 20% off coupon and the sales from Oshkosh and Carters (size 8) I'm getting 11 shirts/tops and three sets of PJs (4 pieces each set) and I was wondering if it was really a good deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:52 PM Flag
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yes, I find there pricing great! We have industrial dryers in our building so I have to go up a size cause stuff shrinks. Check out Costco too! This is my next go to place [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:58 PM Flag
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3 bottoms, 3-4 tops aaat least. I only buy kid's clothing at deep discount. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:10 PM Flag
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Completely depends. If at Old Navy, probably 10 pieces. If at Nordstrom, maybe 2 or 3. If at Neimans, half of one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:12 PM Flag
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I took DD to Old Navy his week. Got 17 items for $152 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:13 PM Flag
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in pre-k, the wardrobe is basically h&m or children's place on sale. i could buy a lot of outfits for $120. they outgrow it or ruin it in a season or so anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:18 PM Flag
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That would buy me 15 rompers at Carter's. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:20 PM Flag
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carters has lots of shorts and tshirts for about $8 each. saw children place had many for $5. Just purchased 2 tops at gap for $12 each. Costco has $10 addidas shorts and $14 tops (or its the other way). I have a boy so don't know about girls clothes. Even Models had shirts 2 for $20 or 25 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:20 PM Flag
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Anything from a giant bag of stuff at Old Navy to one pretty dress for an event. Do you mean how much stuff could you get? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:22 PM Flag
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Maybe 5-6 pieces of clothing including t-shirts sweater/sweatshirt/pants or shorts. Shopping crewcuts sales. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:36 PM Flag
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I grabbed as many $2.99 shirts at Old Navy that had a cute design that dudnt say Old Navy. His socks cost more than his shirts. For $120 I would expect a couple of $15 cargo/play shorts, some tees. No shoes/socks/undies/Jammie's though. Just casual everyday play stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Well I'm officially depressed. We have no family support. Our babysitter just told me that she got a job and beging Tuesday so now I have no help whatsoever, which was just a few hrs per week. Friends are too busy with their own family, "normal" families. This sucks. 90 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:58 PM Flag
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you can find a new sitter. but sorry you feel down [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:58 PM Flag
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Thanks. It's hard finding a new sitter who is flexible and trustworthy. This sitter was with us for almost 3 yrs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:01 PM Flag
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Sorry, but high school and college girls around now [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:00 PM Flag
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Actually I think your situation is more "normal" than not. Like first OR said: sorry you are down but there are others out there who can probably fill the job. It's one of the stressors of life, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:01 PM Flag
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Thanks. I just feel alone in all this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:02 PM Flag
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Is this to cover your working hours or just so you can get a break? If it is the latter (and sounds like it is) nothing wrong with wanting sitter but hardly a crisis if you need to replace her (not like you and DH have to get to work on Tuesday and are desperate to hire someone by then). I do kind of get it, no available grandmas or aunts in my family either but that's how it goes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:01 PM Flag
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Yes, you can flame me. I'm a SAHM of a 5 yr old and 2 yr old twins. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:05 PM Flag
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Don't meant to flame you, honest, but at least you can take a breath and find someone you feel comfortable with, you aren't desperate to have someone start Tuesday. Our parents on both sides are older and need help themselves, cannot babysit for sure. I often also envy those with parents who can help and even drive kids around or take them for a weekend (cannot imagine what that would be like). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:07 PM Flag
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I know. I have no idea what that's like. Or those who vacation with siblings and visit often, talk on the phone etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:09 PM Flag
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NP It is hard not to have a big close family nearby. I am also very jealous of that but slowly you will make a little community of your own and as your kids get older, childcare issues become much easier!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:52 PM Flag
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I hope so. We've been here for 4 yrs! :( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:00 PM Flag
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What do you mean, "normal" families? Sorry you're feeling so blue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:02 PM Flag
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My parents have personality disorders. DH's parents are uninvolved. Other family members are far away. They hardly know our kids. I know lots of people who are close with their families. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:05 PM Flag
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Ours can't/won't help but if they could our apartment is too small for them to stay over anyway. Most people I know in Manhattan don't get much help due to location, small apartments, and having older parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:10 PM Flag
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That's a tough situation, but my advice to you would be to create a "family" of friends. We don't have the issues you face, but all grandparents are deceased and none of our siblings live near the city, so we have to stitch it together, too. It does feel isolating, sometimes, but it is what it is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:20 PM Flag
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Op: that's what I've been trying to do but these friends are too busy and/or are with their families. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:23 PM Flag
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Keep trying, even though it's hard. You'll find your tribe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:25 PM Flag
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Where do you find a tribe? The people here are a bit "upscale". Not very easy going. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:26 PM Flag
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Are you in the suburbs? I do think it's harder there. I'm in a brownstone neighborhood and it's incredibly easy to get to know people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:33 PM Flag
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Yes, in the burbs. Which neighborhood are you in? We're considering moving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:35 PM Flag
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We're in a brownstone 'hood of Harlem on the west side. It's really lovely. Friends are also happy in the Striver's area--tons of kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:40 PM Flag
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They're happy in striver's area? What's that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:51 PM Flag
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Striver's Row, a landmarked area of townhouses in the west 130s. Gorgeous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:57 PM Flag
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Is Striver only an insult on UB? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:14 PM Flag
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+1, I find Harlem very neighborhood like [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:32 PM Flag
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Some family demand a lot more attention and help than they provide. I know someone with parents who live down the block and help with dcs, but also expect her dh to come over and unload their groceries. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:04 PM Flag
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Right so it's supposed to be a one-way street. Got it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:15 PM Flag
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It definitely is when they're elderly! One way towards them! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:38 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. I have no family support either and it really sks. Nannies and babysitters are very precarious so I'm always waiting for someone to cancel the last minute. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:06 PM Flag
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I wouldn't expect a sitter of a few hrs per week to be eternally available to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:06 PM Flag
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Don't feel too down. We don't have any family help, nor do we have a regular sitter, aside from a super occasional teenage "date night" sitter and DH and I both WOH full time - and the majority of the families I know from my DC's day care and elementary school are in the same boat (since NYC is very much a "transplant" city, there are tons of families with no extended family nearby). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:07 PM Flag
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no family is normal. Sorry she gave you so little notice but if you aren't working, or if it is just a few hours a week, take a week or two and find someone good who will be with you for the next three years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:07 PM Flag
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I never had any help, family does not live in NY and when DB was ten months I got a PT sitter and it helped so much. There are a lot of great caretakers out there just take your time trying to find them. I also switched off with a mom my building where I would take her DB for two hours while she ran out and vice versa. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:07 PM Flag
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Where did you find her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:10 PM Flag
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Other families may seem normal on the outside, but they're not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:08 PM Flag
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For example, last year my dd's teacher's daughter killed herself at age 30, another mom in her class died of breast cancer, and my co-worker's son overdosed on heroin at 26 and died. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:17 PM Flag
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How is this not normal? I have no support and assume a lot of people don't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:09 PM Flag
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We most know different people. I know many moms whose mother visits at least once per week. They visit eachother during holidays. They're close with their siblings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:13 PM Flag
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This. OP sounds like a drama queen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:15 PM Flag
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Asshole [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:20 PM Flag
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"OMG my 5 hour a week sitter got a real job and I'm stuck with my children again. OMGOMGOMG XANAX STAT" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:10 PM Flag
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Go away, troll!! Psycho. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:41 PM Flag
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Op: I'm not a drama queen. I've had a lot happen to me since we moved here. I'm not going to explain it all now, but I'm tired. I have a ton to do over the next 2 weeks and this just threw me over the edge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:24 PM Flag
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You're not a WOHM who's nanny suddenly bailed. Ask around for the name of some HS student. Mildly annoying but not depression worthy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:12 PM Flag
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You don't know OP's life. Stop doing the whole "at least...". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:42 PM Flag
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She's a SAHM who has to take care of her kid. Boo fucking hoo. What should I be doing...praying for her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:05 PM Flag
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You're vile [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:06 PM Flag
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Lmao. Prayer going up! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:15 PM Flag
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There are many people with "normal" families that have zero help either. Other than a date night sitter a few nights a year we have zero help. I think you need to end your pity party, it is not productive [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:09 PM Flag
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Op: we're in the suburbs which is pretty isolating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:11 PM Flag
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So put the kids in the stroller and take a walk to the park [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:14 PM Flag
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Nothing is within walking distance and it's 90 degrees. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:16 PM Flag
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Not to pile on, but this is why we only lasted 4 months in the burbs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:33 PM Flag
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I know. I'm an idiot. DH wanted to move more. The people here are awful. Hey have second homes, hardly ever here. And when they're here, they keep to themselves. Moms have ft help and don't just meet-up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:37 PM Flag
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Hang in there. Is there any place "cool" to hang out/volunteer? Why so many with 2nd homes in the burbs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:46 PM Flag
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Beach homes, lake homes, etc. wish there was a cool place [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:51 PM Flag
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There has to be another "you" somewhere [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:18 PM Flag
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Suburbs suck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:14 PM Flag
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Oh goodie there you are. I thought you were still sleeping off your hangover [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:16 PM Flag
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Lots of people hate the suburbs, mainly because of people like you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:17 PM Flag
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LOL that is adorable [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:18 PM Flag
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According to your small mind, yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:19 PM Flag
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Same here. Feel pretty desperate myself. Very alone, and sh is not much help. Always more into work than family. I want a mother myself!!! Grandparents, a tribe. It's hard [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:54 PM Flag
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Yep! You find that people are much more close with family in the suburbs. Family lives close. Some people have lived in the same town for years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:59 PM Flag
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People who have help from their parents are probably putting up with a lot, because most older people behave in a way that borders on a personality disorder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:13 PM Flag
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put an ad up at sittercity and whatever local colleges are near you, maybe even local HS for a dc who is graduating in a few weeks. you will find help. it's not that hard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:34 PM Flag
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Suburbs have mom groups on facebook, constant messages of teens/college students looking for babysitting work at this time of year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:36 PM Flag
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Similar here. DH doesn't meet my emotional needs and I think it's because we don't have a larger support network. It really does take a village. Feel so alone! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:01 PM Flag
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Are you in the burbs? These women are gossipy and high maintenanced. Not all of them, but most. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:04 PM Flag
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Oh for fucks sake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:06 PM Flag
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I know. It's awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:13 PM Flag
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Be less needy maybe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:14 PM Flag
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Op: it feels wonderful not to get invited anywhere. Not one friend invited us over for Memorial Day. So glad we lived here for almost 4 yrs. what a waste. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:08 PM Flag
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Nor did you invite a single friend over...right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:14 PM Flag
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I'm sick of hosting. We're realizing if we don't host, then we don't see anyone. It's hard hosting with twin toddlers and a 5 yr old. Families bring their kids. Messes happen. We clean-up afterward. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:20 PM Flag
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And it's hard to host a family with twin toddlers and a 5 yr old. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:30 PM Flag
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+1. 3 kids is often the tipping point where people don't really want to host you anymore because it's too much work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:13 PM Flag
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Omg, you're vile [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:47 PM Flag
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Would you rather I tell her the problem is her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:58 PM Flag
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Jesus would you stop with the "vile" nonsense? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:15 PM Flag
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No. Lots of people in the suburbs have 3 or more kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:54 PM Flag
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I really don't mean to be mean, but if you think both of your parents have "personality disorders" and DH's family doesn't engage with you guys either, you might want to consider if you and DH might be the problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:27 PM Flag
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Good point. Well, depressed people do have a disorder. Then it's a vicious cycle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:40 PM Flag
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I'm sorry you're depressed, losing a babysitter of 3 years is almost like having a fallout with friend or family. I'm having a tough time this weekend too and we didn't get invited anywhere either. Immigrant, so parents are far away. I'm going to go find some farm or something to drive the kids to so they can run around for a bit. I hope you can get a new sitter and better, less sucky friends. Also, THERAPY. Everyone who's as isolated as we are should get free therapy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:47 PM Flag
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Farm sounds good. Get out in nature and be away from this false society of strivers. I don't want to compete with anyone, just want to relax and feel good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:50 PM Flag
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Just take a few days off and find some childcare. Come on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:32 PM Flag
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I hesitate to say this because I understand how you feel and you're allowed a moment to be upset but reading the comments here, I'm getting a somewhat needy and negative/dramatic vibe. Babysitters quit all the time. You're a SAHM - it's not like this leaves you in a bind at work. I understand this is bad timing and a pain, but it's not a personal insult to you or a crisis-level problem. You're also bringing all this unrelated stuff into the thread, like you've been living where you are for four years and why are all your friends so busy with their own families that they can't invite you over for the holiday weekend, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:06 PM Flag
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This. And of course it's all "because burbs". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:13 PM Flag
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The burbs suck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:43 PM Flag
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Mmmk [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 09:05 PM Flag
[ - ] The End of Black Harlem http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/29/opinion/sunday/the-end-of-black-harlem.html 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:52 PM Flag
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Sad in a way, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:56 PM Flag
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Well it was also sad to some people when wealthy, Jewish Harlem declined as blacks moved in 100 years ago. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:57 PM Flag
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+1 Same when Italian Harlem turned into Jewish Harlem. Sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:00 PM Flag
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THIS!!! One commentator brought it up: "My grandmother passed away while I was living there and while going through her things I came across wedding invitations saved from her mother's wedding (in NYC in 1915). The invitations were written in Italian, and the RSVP was to her parent's apartment which to my surprise was on 116th street, about 5 blocks away from where I was renting." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:14 PM Flag
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"Realizing that my great-grandmother was born and raised in Harlem put into perspective for me the fact that all neighborhoods change over time and it's not necessarily right/wrong, good or bad. It's just change." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:15 PM Flag
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NP: in some ways i agree - we lament the decline of neighborhoods that was particularly prevalent and accelerated in the 60s-80s, but then we lament the regentrification of those neighborhoods a generation later. that which goes up, must come down and vice versa. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:27 PM Flag
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ITA what African American writers like him should tackle head on is the low income earning performance of this ethnic group. The higher the income they can achieve, the more options they will have when it comes to where they can live going forward. MANY blacks left Harlem when it became drug infested, that's not called "black with choices flight", but it should. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:32 PM Flag
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this - [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:31 PM Flag
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Same when Irish Harlem turned into black harlem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:06 PM Flag
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Maybe they should build a wall. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:57 PM Flag
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A ton of the people gentrifying the area the AA writer talks about (Douglas, 116th-125th) are illegal immigrants from Africa. With racism, he completely forgot about them an just focuses on "the other": whites. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:01 PM Flag
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"Blacks are paying $800 a month for the same four-bedroom, two-bath unit the newcomers bought for $2 million. Whites pay $2,000 just for maintenance! It’s not the blacks, but their poverty that’s resented." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:05 PM Flag
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Interesting, emotional, but lacks the perspective that Harlem does not "belong" to black people. The same tale could be written about the eastern europeans in Yorkville, the Irish and the Italians in parts of Brooklyn, the Italians in Little Italy, etc., etc. Change happens. Thats the only constant. You either embrace it, or be swept away by it. For all his rose-tinted spectacles, Harlem has been a SLUM for most of the last 50 years - the new apartments have mostly been built on empty lots, the new businesses mostly in empty storefronts, the brownstones happily sold by their existing owners who wanted to cash out and move out... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:07 PM Flag
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"Harlem does not "belong" to black people" EXACTLY! The writer is trying to write about race. That's why it doesn't talk about Africans who moved into Harlem as "gentrifiers". Only people with WHITE skin color can gentrify. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:22 PM Flag
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np. he also doesn't write about how the african immigrants into harlem despise the AA legacy residents as lazy drug-taking criminals on welfare. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:24 PM Flag
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And how the AA violently attack the African migrants from Senegal when they first arrived. The article is a convenient narrative that fits the racist stereotypes of the writer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:30 PM Flag
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Do you live in Harlem? Because I've been here nearly 20 years (Caucasion, fwiw) and don't see this dynamic at all in my area. The older residents are homeowners who held down the fort in the ugly years and they resent the Africans for the overcrowding they bring to buildings. Harlem is too big to generalize about, anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:31 PM Flag
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It's not about that. It's about the entitlement of the AA thinking that the area belongs to them, as if they were the original Native Americans who lived there when the Dutch showed up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:34 PM Flag
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Oh. I'll have to read the story. I think the anger comes from people who feel they missed out--renters, basically. My neighbors who bought in the 60s-80s are happy happy happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:41 PM Flag
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That makes sense. So far, the happiest in Harlem about gentrification are the AA elderly stuck in the nursing home of Douglas and 118th. They are big beneficiaries of the improvement in safety and over all neighborhood quality. These poor guys were living among empty lots full of trash just a few years ago! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:52 PM Flag
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My neighbors told me there was literally a shootout in front of our house several years before we bought. My hat is off to them for sticking it out, patrolling the block and not giving up. It's beautiful now and they're the ones who most deserve to live like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:55 PM Flag
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We have a rent stabilized in a luxury building. The year we moved in, there were 3 shootings, black teenagers killing other black teenagers. I don't expect that dynamic to end till they fully clean up NYCHA housing from gangs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:57 PM Flag
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the shootings were all in the sidewalk, fortunately, nobody unrelated to gang violence was hurt. there are TONS of gang members living around us still, on the HDFC buildings next the Morningside Park. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:59 PM Flag
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That's very true. There are at least two different stories going on in Harlem these days. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:59 PM Flag
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This. Harlem was a drug infested dump. As were most of the nightspots he writes about so fondly... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:22 PM Flag
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I know! These morons like to refer to drug infested dumps as "more interesting". They were likely addicts themselves back then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:30 PM Flag
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"the new apartments have mostly been built on empty lots" Isn't it bizarre that the AA living in Harlem are not grateful to those who moved into those new buildings when few wanted to? These new people are the real reason why the retail improved in Harlem, at least south of 125th. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:23 PM Flag
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If you don't have black skin you cannot win with these AA: you are evil when you leave (white flight), you are evil when you move into what it used to be an empty lot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:24 PM Flag
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Good point about the white flight vs. gentrification. If you want your neighborhood to be better then fight for it yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:10 PM Flag
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Many were buildings that had "fires" and than luxury apartments were built. They were not mostly empty lots. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:36 PM Flag
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Slight correction. Abandoned or empty lots. Most of FDB's new buildings were empty lots, for example. Scenes of massive drug use in the 70s... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:47 PM Flag
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NYC has been the biggest landlord in Harlem for more than a generation thanks to the empty lots in which new buildings were built thanks to Bloomberg's admin. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:53 PM Flag
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To clarify. People gave their land and buildings to the city, either in lieu of taxes or because they couldn't afford to maintain them to code. The city sat on them, neglected them for a generation or two, and then Bloomie finally said enough is enough and sold them for development. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:30 PM Flag
[ - ] What do you think of these sale Jimmy Choo sandals? Worth picking up now at the Nordstrom sale? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:50 PM Flag
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Cute! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:51 PM Flag
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Overpriced, you can pick up same or similar styles for under 100 from other brands, which are also comfortable to wear and nobody will tell the difference. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:11 PM Flag
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Thanks for the reminder re Nordie's sale [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:51 PM Flag
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I think they are awful but I don't like patent of a strap right across the ankle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:08 PM Flag
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They look cheap. Surprised for Jimmy Choo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:10 PM Flag
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I like wedge sandals but Jimmy Choo shoes are usually way too high. Unless you are under 5 ft 3, go with a more sensible wedge height. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:10 PM Flag
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cheap looking and too expensive for what they are [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:12 PM Flag
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I hate them, sorry. They look like something a Real Housewife would wear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:00 PM Flag
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Cheesy, sorry. Stuart Weitzman has more attractive wedges in this vein. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:01 PM Flag
[ - ] DS in second grade, at reading level M or maybe N, which is, I think, at grade level. He doesn't ever pick up a book and read for fun. Not a sporty kid, high attention span, can draw for hours. Will he ever love to read? I keep waiting for the switch to flip. 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:48 PM Flag
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Try finding a series that he likes. What are his interests? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:50 PM Flag
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I'm a children's book author and have tried so many. He loves so many -- when I read them to him! Never will continue to read on his own except for required school reading log. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:53 PM Flag
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We read do dc thru 4/5 grade. It was a fun family activity. Switch gears to loving books :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:46 PM Flag
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DD was the same at that age and spent a lot of time tinkering around and building stuff. She reads a lot of things now in fourth but her favorites are graphic novels. I think I was the same way and really didn't start reading with any passion until around fifth grade. Haven't been able to not read since. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:56 PM Flag
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Sounds like my DS.He's in 3 rd grade now and just this year started to love to read because it became a social thing.Other kids were reading Harry Potter so he jumped in and finished the whole series in 3 months.The social aspect really motivated him and then he saw he could love stories. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:03 PM Flag
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My 3rd grader has gone in the opposite direction. Was one of those early readers parents brag about - he could read level V and W books in Kindergarten - and read anything he could get his hands on. This year, he seemed to totally lose interest. My point is, these things aren't static and it may even be better to gain interest later on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:12 PM Flag
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He may never love to read and that is OK. I'd bet as an author it is particularly painful but it does irk me that among UMC families reading has become this almost virtuous, mythical thing. He can read (hooray no dyslexia!), he enjoys being read too. Count you blessings. Maybe he is annoyed that you dont like to draw. Meet him where he is. I certainly dont like throwing a football or running lacrosse patterns but I do it because my son enjoys it. He doesnt like baking brownies, but he humors me sometimes. That said, as mentioned by PP there may be a social impetus that spurs him on. My non reading 3rd grader will mention books other boys read and pick them up periodically [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:13 PM Flag
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Agree. Why does everyone have to LOVE reading? I don't read a lot of fiction. I mostly read non-fiction, on topics that interest me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:28 PM Flag
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Np- My son is like you will read non-fiction daily but hates to read fiction. Not everyone loves to read. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:38 PM Flag
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NP: can a clarify something? So reading non-fiction means you don't love reading? I didn't think there was a difference. I read a lot and it's mostly non-fiction. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:46 PM Flag
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Nnp it doesn't matter what you read - but you really should read [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:47 PM Flag
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Why [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:54 PM Flag
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Because educated people read. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:08 PM Flag
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You do know that upon the invention of the printing press people went nuts because they thought it would lead to a decline in verbal storytelling right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:15 PM Flag
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How do you learn new things if you don't read? What are the possible topics of conversation for someone who doesn't read? I ask seriously because DH and I are voracious readers and the DCs are as well. I can't imagine not reading. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:54 PM Flag
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You would think you would have a broader imagination with all of that reading. Some people like to learn things hands on or through trial and error. Maybe they learn something via an instructional show or video. Maybe someone tells them verbally or they listen to a pod cast. There is more to life than book learning [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:02 PM Flag
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My 5th grade dd loves to read but def did not in 2nd grade. It takes a while for their interest and reading level to align -- it's hard when they can understand so much but are still reading those really easy beginner books. Just leave him alone and keep reading to him or go to the library for fun easyish books to read. I think dd started reading for fun in 3rd grade -- like started with Magic Tree House type of stuff.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:53 PM Flag
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My 2nd grade son has started to read for enjoyment at the end of the day when it's bedtime. His only option is to read or sleep. As a result of in trying to push bedtime later, he has started enjoying reading. I don't make him do the required reading for school earlier in the day. I figure this covers it and it becomes his choice, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:54 PM Flag
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PS- he is really in to the "I survived" series right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:54 PM Flag
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2nd. my son is very active and social and only likes to read before bed because it's a better option than sleeping. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:56 PM Flag
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Same with my 3rd grade DD. Gives her the ability to stay up "late" - like 8:30. lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:26 PM Flag
[ - ] With an almost 3 year old, on a hot day like today, how far would you expect him to walk on his own? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:38 PM Flag
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Six blocks or so? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:43 PM Flag
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2 or 3 blocks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:43 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:51 PM Flag
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+1 i dont want to walk more than that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:52 PM Flag
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7-10 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:48 PM Flag
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for a child who is only 2! that sounds like a lot unless they do it almost daily [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:56 PM Flag
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yes. you should do it daily to build up their stamina. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:57 PM Flag
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but today is not the day to start when its 90 degrees! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:22 PM Flag
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true [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:47 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:13 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:03 PM Flag
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what were you hoping for? its not how far they CAN walk, if its they'll be a miserable mess by the time you get there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:53 PM Flag
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my 20 month old walks everywhere (and A LOT, i'm talking over a mile...). It's her choice. I bring the stroller, but she still chooses to walk. My 4 year old is another story. If they are not complaining, then let them walk. If they don't want to, give them a break on a hot day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:59 PM Flag
[ - ] Can you recommend a calorie counter/app that you like? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:38 PM Flag
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Myfitnesspal is pretty good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:48 PM Flag
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myfitnesspal.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:48 PM Flag
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Love the "Lose it" app [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:55 PM Flag
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I like You FAT Grrl [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Please suggest calm responses to my mom as I prepare for her upcoming visit. I'll post her comments, and you tell me how to respond. 184 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:36 PM Flag
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Mom to dh: "I have ONE child who calls me every Sunday". Referring to my brother. Easily within earshot so of course I can hear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:36 PM Flag
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(No response - she's not talking to you) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:37 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:51 PM Flag
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Agree. Ignore. You can choose to let her get under your skin or not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:52 PM Flag
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So call her on Sunday. She is your mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:10 PM Flag
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Well, she had to call her mom every single night until Grandma died at 95. Grandma sometimes yelled and hung up on her. I don't want to repeat that pattern. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:14 PM Flag
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Always at 7 pm. If she was one minute late, Grandma chewed her out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:21 PM Flag
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So don't call her every single night. You can still call. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:25 PM Flag
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It's the drill sergeant aspect that bothers me. I don't want to report to her. She just wants to talk about the weather, anyway. And exert control over me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:32 PM Flag
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Fair enough. I would call regularly but at your convenience [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:38 PM Flag
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I'd be willing to split the calls, maybe. I'm not willing to initiate the calls so she can coyly wait for them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:42 PM Flag
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This is you trying to control her. You should call occasionally bc it's a kind thing to do and leave her to do what she will. You can't control her actions. You can only control your own. Behave properly and let her behavior be her problem not yours [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:55 PM Flag
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I guess I should. Maybe I'll come around. Maybe the therapist will be able to convince me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:08 PM Flag
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jesus. it's so horrible to speak to your mother once a week? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:35 PM Flag
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you shoould call her at least once a week. She is lonely and you are her daughter. Why is that so hard. If she is the type that prefers a schedules (my inlaws are like that), then go along. At the end of the day, it's not a big deal. You can find 10 minutes to do this for someone who took care of you for presumably at least 18 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:01 PM Flag
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She's the one with the social life. Mine has been put on hold because of family responsibilities. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:02 PM Flag
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i SO agree with this. meanwhile my mother's dead. i would give anything for the chance to talk to her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:36 PM Flag
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"Mom, I'm sorry about being neglectful in calling you. Sometimes I get busy and forget. I'll try to do a better job of keeping in touch." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:07 PM Flag
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I couldn't say this truthfully at this moment, but I plan to make it a goal with the therapist to work on this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:10 PM Flag
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It's clearly hurting her or she wouldn't say that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:24 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:36 PM Flag
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"I'm sorry mom. I love you but you know how busy it gets. I wish you would call me more often too." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:48 PM Flag
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Mom after 8yo dd refuses to eat what we're having: "She goes to bed hungry! Don't let her have pizza" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:37 PM Flag
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We don't use food as a weapon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:38 PM Flag
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I would tell her that you're the parent, you'll make the decisions. Don't get into explaining your rationale. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:39 PM Flag
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She's right. You sit there quietly and let your mother fix your kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:52 PM Flag
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Doesn't matter if she's right. Not her kids. Not her place to decide. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:56 PM Flag
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I'm clearly not the only one who thinks this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:44 PM Flag
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? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:21 PM Flag
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That doesn't matter. It is the op's call. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:22 PM Flag
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agree [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:37 PM Flag
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It's not a big deal mom. Everyone will live. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:53 PM Flag
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This is my house and I don't think that this is a battle I wish to pick. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:04 PM Flag
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She has a good point. I'd listen to her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:10 PM Flag
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+1. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:13 PM Flag
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I agree with her on this one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:11 PM Flag
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your mom wins this one. She is right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:02 PM Flag
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"Thanks, but I don't want to do it that way." Btw I agree with your mom but it really is your call. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:07 PM Flag
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Lol. Turn to dd and say "see what Grandma thinks?" Would you like to go to bed hungry or would you like to eat? Kids aren't always supposed to get their way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:38 PM Flag
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OPs mom is right in this case. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:00 PM Flag
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Well first I must know, do you make your kid a pizza if they won't eat what you are serving? Because that would indicate you have some major problems with more than just your mother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:54 PM Flag
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Mom to my cleaning lady: "You know how hard I work when I'm here". (Mom is cleaning alongside the cleaning lady). OK I know that one requires no responses, I'm just painting a picture here so you get my mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:38 PM Flag
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I don't get this one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:42 PM Flag
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Mom acts martyr-ish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:42 PM Flag
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So ignore [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:52 PM Flag
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My employer's mother once followed me around like that, not cleaning but giving very critical looks. I "killed her with kindness," offering to make her tea or wash her things, for example, and by the end of her visit (which didn't come soon enough) she offered to monogram my name on my uniform for me, LOL. Oh well, she was trying in her own way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:42 PM Flag
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^^embroider, not monogram, sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:23 PM Flag
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You don't have to work while you're here, I don't mind if you just sit and relax. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:53 PM Flag
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+1 or ignore [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:02 PM Flag
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Mom sounds cute. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:10 PM Flag
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She is not talking to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:12 PM Flag
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Exactly. Be ready to speak to the cleaning lady if she seems upset, however. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:02 PM Flag
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"Mom's a cleaner!" Smile. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:47 PM Flag
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Mom: "Reading at the table is disgusting". (During meals). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:40 PM Flag
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You read during meals? I agree with your mom that one is weird. But again just say "we like it" or say nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:41 PM Flag
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We're overly bookish, I admit. I don't think we can go a whole week without doing this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:42 PM Flag
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So say "we like it" and move on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:42 PM Flag
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How do you read while eating? How does that work? And why would you do this at a sit down family meal? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:43 PM Flag
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We don't really eat together. More like in shifts. Ds is on the ketogenic diet for epilepsy, so his food is totally different, and we bribe him for each bite in hopes of getting the feeding tube out in the future. Dh and I read the old-fashioned print NY Times. DDs read library books. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:46 PM Flag
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OMG ITS YOU ITS YOU. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:03 PM Flag
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Same to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:04 PM Flag
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It's awful manners. Awful. You sound kind of dumb...team mom here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:53 PM Flag
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She may have you on this one, we try to do no phones and no books during meals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:44 PM Flag
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I concede that would be better, but our family situation is stressful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:47 PM Flag
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Then just ignore your mom. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:54 PM Flag
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Why is your family situation stressful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:44 PM Flag
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Ds has a severe form of epilepsy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:47 PM Flag
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Let me guess. You're mad at mom for not helping out enough when your kid got sick and going home after a couple of months. Stop the trolling it's annoying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:07 PM Flag
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Would you like some hospital records? What's your fax number? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:11 PM Flag
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Why would we want hospital records? What are you talking about? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:17 PM Flag
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Being accused of trolling/being fake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:18 PM Flag
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No one said your story about a sick kid was fake [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:22 PM Flag
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Eh. She trolls it enough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 08:01 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:12 PM Flag
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Ok you really don't have a good grasp of what the dinner table is about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:52 PM Flag
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Thanks for letting us know. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:54 PM Flag
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Ignore these people and do what the hell you want at dinner and everywhere else. "Disgusting??" Mom needs to relax. I guess my response would be, "when in Rome, Mom...!" and hand her a magazine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:56 PM Flag
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op: This is funny. Actually, it does hurt my feelings that Mom comes armed with several library books when she visits us (which is rarely). Like we're boring/unpleasant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:58 PM Flag
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Oh good, you can even suggest she bring out one of her books then! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:59 PM Flag
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I was with you until this post. If you guys are boring and bookish (and we are too - although I fight to have no reading at the table) then of course she would bring a book. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:05 PM Flag
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I was a better mom before our family crisis 2 years ago, I admit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:18 PM Flag
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OMG ITS YOU [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:45 PM Flag
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Right back atcha. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:47 PM Flag
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You read during dinner while she is there but are hurt that she brings books to read? You realize that makes no sense, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:08 PM Flag
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We do it a lot less, but it's a hard habit to drop entirely. I see your point, though. My mom and dad watch TV from 6 am to 11 pm daily, so it must be hard for her at my house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:10 PM Flag
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You seem nuts. I don't think your mom is the problem. Why not let her watch tv at your place? You're not much of a hostess [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:19 PM Flag
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I don't stop her from watching TV. I just don't personally turn it on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:20 PM Flag
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Does she know how to turn it on? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:22 PM Flag
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Well, it's confusing. Dh has things set up weird. He's a tech guy. So no, she doesn't and neither do I. But if she asked him, he would. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:33 PM Flag
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I would offer to figure this out for her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:39 PM Flag
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Oh come on. Make it easy on her. Be proactive and figure it out so you can do it for her. Then offer to do so. This is what decent hosts do [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:40 PM Flag
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why don't you talk to each other during meals? strange to have others at your table and you are busy reading [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:10 PM Flag
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Things got disrupted when my son was in the hospital for 4 months the year before last. We were better before that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:15 PM Flag
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Again your mom is correct. What is wrong with you ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:11 PM Flag
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Well, my mom is anorexic. So what's wrong with her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:15 PM Flag
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Why do you think it's your job to fix your mom? Worry about yourself [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:17 PM Flag
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As long as she doesn't bring up weight, I'm fine with her anorexia, it's none of my business. Problem is when she criticizes our eating habits. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:21 PM Flag
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Ok. So either stop inviting her or ignore her comments. Those are your options [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:23 PM Flag
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she is right. Again. I'm starting to think you're a bad troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:03 PM Flag
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"Listen to your grandmother and put the books down! You have all of your free time to read as much as you want but the dinner table is for eating with the family. It's a time when we all get to be together. It's rude to read at the table when someone wants to have a conversation with you. How far did grandmama come to be here with us? She only has a few days. You can sit here and visit with your grandmother. The nerve. I say." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:42 PM Flag
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For all (this is my go-to with similar passive-aggressive parent): a small smile that never wavers. Think Betty Draper. Just smile and carry on like it doesn't affect you in the least [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:43 PM Flag
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Do it too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:42 PM Flag
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If Mom makes a comment about dd's weight or my weight, what should I say? I'm a former 4/6, now 10/12. My 12 yo dd has a tummy but I'm able to find clothes that mask it pretty well, generally. Mom is dieting- and exercise obsessed. She looks amazing at 68, I'll admit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:44 PM Flag
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Ok If my mother had ever made a comment to my 12 yo dd about her weight it would be a LONG time before she was back in my house. Long. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:53 PM Flag
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I would make it clear that if she made any comments about weight in front of dd she will be asked to leave and will not be invited again. Then I'd stick with that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:54 PM Flag
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Yes to this and the one above. This is a deal breaker. You don't need a come back. You show her the door and that's that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:58 PM Flag
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With my mom, I would tell her to knock it off or go home. My MIL does this and it's harder to handle. And my dd is borderline skinny, so it doesn't even make sense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:00 PM Flag
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How is it harder to handle. No matter who it is if you talk to my dd about her weight, you leave [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:06 PM Flag
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It's a little sneakier than that. She's never direct, so if you call her out on anything, you're the bad guy who just misunderstood. She also rarely did it with me in the room, so she blamed dd for "misunderstanding." We spend very little time with her now, so it's less of a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:09 PM Flag
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Pinch dd's belly. "Look. You are getting fat. It is unhealthy. all this fat goes around your heart and an cause cholesterol and health problems. Do you want to ride a scooter? Now I don't give a damn about looking pretty or competition for thin privilege or fashion. You've got to watch your fat." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:44 PM Flag
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^ "And don't you dare do anything with Ana/Mia sites or restricting or get caught up with those tragic girls. You need to be healthy and active. Get into some sports and kick ass!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:47 PM Flag
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Mom: "The TV is never on in this house so I CAN'T TELL THE WEATHER!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:53 PM Flag
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I can check my phone for you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:54 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:04 PM Flag
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Haha - that is such an older person thing to say! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:55 PM Flag
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If you need us to tell you how to respond to this, I think you shouldn't have her come at all [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:56 PM Flag
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I've already explained to her numerous ways to tell the weather. Numerous. She still says the above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:58 PM Flag
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Then you ignore her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:06 PM Flag
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Why exactly are we inviting such monsters - I mean, mothers - into our homes, again? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:57 PM Flag
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So the dcs can have a relationship with grandma. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:03 PM Flag
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Sounds like she is very bored [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:58 PM Flag
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Let me show you the window... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:59 PM Flag
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op: She refuses to learn how to google. Dh has temp/humidity devices in 2 places in the house. Our copy of NY Times has the weather too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:01 PM Flag
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Again she is BORED [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:03 PM Flag
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Well, my 3 dcs love her, and they'll be home on break. It's unfortunate that she finds multiple weather checks more interesting than grandchildren. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:07 PM Flag
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Oh good grief. I was on your side when people were picking you apart about the reading and all. But the more you go on the more it seems like the real issue here is you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:24 PM Flag
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I have a shrink. She needs one too, but she won't go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:33 PM Flag
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You are so preoccupied with her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:40 PM Flag
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Shrink or mom? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:45 PM Flag
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With your mom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:00 PM Flag
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This is true. Being a mom is totally consuming, and yes I work FT, but it consumes all my non-work time. So it bothers me that it's not the least bit consuming for her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:03 PM Flag
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Why should it? Your obsession with her is extremely unhealthy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:13 PM Flag
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Someone else wrote on UB recently, "When it's your mom, it takes a tremendous amount of willpower to not give a fuck". So I know I'm not the only one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:17 PM Flag
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Of course you're not the only one with a codependency issue. Many people have that. That doesn't make it healthy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:23 PM Flag
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I would just tell her that if she wants to watch TV, she can turn it on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:06 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:16 PM Flag
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What should I do when Mom picks up sticks, even though I have a yard service? Tell her to go play with the dcs or to relax? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 04:59 PM Flag
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She knows you have a yard service. If she wants to pick up sticks, let her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:07 PM Flag
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It makes her too tired to play with dcs or go on outings with them, so it bothers me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:11 PM Flag
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This is you trying to control her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:19 PM Flag
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She wants to be thanked and admired for her hard work, picking up those sticks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:43 PM Flag
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Ok. If you appreciate thank her. If you don't say nothing. But in any case stop trying to control her behavior. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:01 PM Flag
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Do you think it's ok to gently remind her that I have a lawn service? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:04 PM Flag
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Do you think she doesn't know? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:14 PM Flag
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So why is she doing it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:15 PM Flag
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Because she wants to? I don't know why, but assuming she knows you have a lawn service my guess is she just wants to do it. The bigger question is why do you care? She is an adult. She can do what she wants with her time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:18 PM Flag
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"Thanks mom!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:45 PM Flag
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You sound kind of out of control and your mom sounds normal. Kids choosing their own meals, reading during dinner, having guests sitting around while the cleaner works--these are not great choices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:01 PM Flag
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That mom visiting is bored out of her mind [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:05 PM Flag
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I agree. I am sure she is a bitch but she is right on these. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:15 PM Flag
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op: She's a nice person. But difficult. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:19 PM Flag
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Outsource: pay your nanny double time to keep your mom engaged during the day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 07:52 PM Flag
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It seems like you're trying to control her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:07 PM Flag
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She's trying to take over and convert everything in my household to her way. She visits twice a year. I'm not going to let her do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:12 PM Flag
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The more you respond the more you seem like the problem [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:20 PM Flag
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See above, I have a shrink and I'm starting therapy next week. Yes, I have issues I need to work on. I take zoloft because I yell less that way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:35 PM Flag
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Troll. Fake. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:45 PM Flag
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Your home life seems odd [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:23 PM Flag
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Yes, but don't judge me unless you have a dc with serious medical problems and behavior issues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:34 PM Flag
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Oops sorry. I did not know. My apologies [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:20 PM Flag
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If you invite a guest, you are supposed to be hospitable. I do not watch tv but when my mom visits, I turn it on for her. My mom cleans my dished and I have a dishwasher. She does thinks differently than me but she is a different person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:42 PM Flag
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op: Forgot that one. She washes all the dishes and I have a dishwasher. How did I forget, I get so worked up about that one! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:52 PM Flag
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Why does this upset you? Say thank you and that's that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:01 PM Flag
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Because she's making work, being a martyr about it, and it doesn't help me one bit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:05 PM Flag
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The dishes are washed and you didn't have to load the dishwasher. Just say thanks for that and move on. This martyr obsession sends to be in your head. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:15 PM Flag
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My kitchen is very small, and when she's doing the dishes, she's in my way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:20 PM Flag
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Oh dear. It really sounds like you are your mother's daughter! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:20 PM Flag
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We compete for martyr points, I admit. Problem is, I'm winning and she still has to be the winner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:29 PM Flag
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You're a mess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:31 PM Flag
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Yes, but I'm getting help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:37 PM Flag
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Maybe if you let some things slide, like watching TV or whatever, it might temper her responses to you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:32 PM Flag
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I guess I could try that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:38 PM Flag
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Yes. You could try being considerate of others. What a great idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:03 PM Flag
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My life is taking care of others. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:06 PM Flag
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Totally different thing from being considerate of others. I didn't say you needed to take care of your mom. I said you should be a considerate host and stop trying to control her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:16 PM Flag
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I haven't hosted anyone since my son got sick 2 yrs ago. Before that, I was a gracious hostess many times. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:19 PM Flag
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Seems like the real issue here is that you want her to be different. You want her to be more interested in her grandkids. You're trying to change her just like she's trying to change you. If you don't like her doing that you shouldn't do it either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:21 PM Flag
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My great aunt told me that it's only fun to play with grandkids for 30 minutes. That made me feel better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:30 PM Flag
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Lol! Love her honesty! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 05:35 PM Flag
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right? i actually like the OP's mom. she sounds cool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:15 PM Flag
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op: She is a nice person, and a pretty lady. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:19 PM Flag
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OR Eh, I think she sounds like she's probably a lot like op and that's where op learned this behavior. But that doesn't make op any less wrong in how she responds to it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:20 PM Flag
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+1. OP, you sound too much alike. This could be you in another 20 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:25 PM Flag
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op: Except I'll never be thin again, thanks to the zoloft, and I think it helps my behavior too. Plus therapy might help me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.16, 06:27 PM Flag
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