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[ - ] S/o on the parenting bail post. Met a guy recently who left two teen dc with his ex wife to move several hours away. One was her kid (adopted), another was his bio kid with another woman that he had before they were together. They later divorced. He said he’d spent ‘years doing everything’ and needed time to himself. What do you think? Adopted dc is 16. His bio dc is 18. This sort of blew my mind. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:19 PM Flag
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i think he isn't husband material. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:21 PM Flag
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Agreed! I should have clarified. I met him in a business setting. No interest in dating him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:22 PM Flag
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Wow, and he spilled his guts, huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:25 PM Flag
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Yeah, a group of us at a conference and out for drinks. He gave us his history. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:26 PM Flag
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Welp. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:32 PM Flag
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Sounds like a selfish prick. I'm guessing they don't miss him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:22 PM Flag
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He's a schmuck. He should be castrated. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:23 PM Flag
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I think he's a selfish ass. You have plenty of time to go be a selfish ass after they go to college. The fact that you can't wait means you lack character. I'd be pretty repelled by this person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:26 PM Flag
[ - ] How important is it for the CEOof a company to always be at the headquarters? Do you think it is a position that enables more flexibility in work location/where the person chooses to work from? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:17 PM Flag
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a CEO? no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:17 PM Flag
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Must be there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:17 PM Flag
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Huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:36 PM Flag
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Absolutely not. CEO has to be visible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:46 PM Flag
[ - ] 7th grader at Hunter getting half As/half Bs. Is she going to get stomped in 8th next year? Does it get that much harder? We don't care about HYP but wonder if this is abnormal? (got all As at previous school) 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 04.24.18, 09:11 PM Flag
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Cannot compare previous school to Hunter. My DC went to NEST and had A+ without much effort. Hunter definitely requires effort for those As let alone A+. But organization is key and not wasting huge amounts of time on social media is another thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:13 PM Flag
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How is your dc from Nest doing now? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:16 PM Flag
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Well but you cannot let up at all. To tell you the truth I wonder about this pressure - and it not endemic to Hunter. Stuy kids stress about every quarter of a point... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:25 PM Flag
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I wish these schools would just give A, B, C, D, F. Stop with + and - and never give the actual number like Stuy does. It would be so nice for our kids to come home and say, “ I got an A on my English paper.” Not, I got a 95 which prompts - where did you lose 5 points? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:29 PM Flag
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I agree and I am guilty of it too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:43 PM Flag
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Hunter switched over to letter grades about 12 years ago to lessen the stress on the kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 11:10 PM Flag
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Hunter switched over to letter grades about 12 years ago to lessen the stress on the kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 11:10 PM Flag
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Depends on what the Bs are in. Cumulative subjects like math and languages, obviously it's a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:14 PM Flag
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A in math but B and B+ in English and Soc Studies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:16 PM Flag
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English is a problem. If she's only getting 85% of it now, she will be missing some foundations for the next years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:18 PM Flag
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Not really but what she should do is go to the teacher for feedback and even the writing center. Helped my DC greatly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:26 PM Flag
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Not true [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:30 PM Flag
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Your theory is a B in English is harmful down the road? Doomed in 10th grade? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:30 PM Flag
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Lol. For many of us Bs are never a problem [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:17 PM Flag
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Did you post this earlier today? Same discussion. Why doesn't she meet with the teacher and figure out what the issues are? Does she need to improve test prep (study) skills, reading comp issues? does she know how to take notes? Is it the pace, the volume? If she gets some extra help can she improve? You need to better understand the issues before you panic. Not everyone can get straight As. HS is more challenging than MS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 10:47 PM Flag
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Dc started out like your As/Bs, grades in tho9th.se years do not count. She will get more serious in 9th, it happens to many of the kids. She is just getting her footing. Dc ended up going to a great school with very good grades and SAT scores. Just relax and let her find her own way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 11:09 PM Flag
[ - ] How do you deal with ‘friends’ who constantly text you about themselves without so much as a question about how you are doing. I have one friend who does this and I’ve tried to drop subtle hints but she still does it. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:10 PM Flag
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Stop reading her texts and don't respond. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:11 PM Flag
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I blocked one for awhile and then felt guilty. It is so irritating though. I mean I know we all care about our own lives the most, but this one friend literally can never muster a ‘how are you?’ even if the last time we spoke something huge was going on with me. It’s always a random text telling me what she’s doing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:21 PM Flag
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Instead of texting them back, I email them back. I make a quick mention of whatever they said in the text, then I launch into a long diatribe about what's going on with me and ask them a bunch of questions about it. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:13 PM Flag
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Good idea! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:24 PM Flag
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I dropped my friend b/c I'm sick of this nonsense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:24 PM Flag
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Fade [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:33 PM Flag
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I thought I was the only one with friends like this. I have two friends who only talk about themselves. It's like I'm their diary. Not even a "How are you, John and the kids?" just to be polite. Nothing. I'm no longer responding. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:54 PM Flag
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Ha. We have the same friend I think. I’m amazed at how she can’t even muster a ‘how’re you?’ before she launches into stuff about herself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 10:27 PM Flag
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Just dropped someone like this. Constant bad news. I just took longer and longer to respond and gave shorter answers. Finally she got it and said she'd be leaving me alone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 10:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Any SMCs on (single moms by choice)? I'm considering doing it, just curious how it's going...if it's incredibly tough...if the no father thing is really difficult. Thanks. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:10 PM Flag
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I'm a SMC with 2 sons. Key is a good nanny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:16 PM Flag
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and it's wo nderful [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:16 PM Flag
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OP: Do your sons have a tough time with not having a dad? I think I really want to move forward, but I feel a certain degree of guilt for only providing one parent. Also, do you date or not really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:25 PM Flag
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I'm not one, but I wouldn't do it unless I made a ton of money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Have you ever corresponded with someone from UB and it blossomed into an IRL friendship? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:00 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:09 PM Flag
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Heck no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:11 PM Flag
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God no. Have a hard enough time maintaining my friends in real life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:12 PM Flag
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No, that's sad. This feels like something Lilly does...or says she does. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:13 PM Flag
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No, but sometimes I'd like to continue a conversation with some of the people I've chatted with on a thread on UB. So many crazies tho... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:16 PM Flag
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OP: I was curious because last week, someone commented, if you want to email me to talk more...and I thought it was a nice gesture. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:19 PM Flag
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No, you don't want to email that person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:20 PM Flag
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Lol, it wasn't even directed to me, I just saw the post! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:23 PM Flag
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I strongly advise that no one gets involved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:25 PM Flag
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How would that even work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:19 PM Flag
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"burner" emails? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:23 PM Flag
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Yes. Bk. Not sure if she’s still here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:19 PM Flag
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I've been bored and thought about arranging a lunch if anyone was interested. (In manhattan--like Ktown, Chinatown). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:25 PM Flag
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There was a post last week asking if anyone was participating in a race over the weekend. I always wonder how those meet-ups would go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:31 PM Flag
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Have corresponded yes, and became online friends, but have never met IRL as we live far apart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:29 PM Flag
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NOKD [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:34 PM Flag
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Of course not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:41 PM Flag
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Retard [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 11:23 PM Flag
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Not on UB, but have on other forums [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:35 PM Flag
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I used to be on Tumblr and met some great women through that. Never from UB though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:50 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone on who has been an expat in Hong Kong? What was your experience like? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:00 PM Flag
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Read Crazy Rich Asians [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:03 PM Flag
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We were elsewhere in Asia. Expat life in HK is awesome. Cheap domestic help. Weekend trips to Thailand (and great travel throughout Asia). I also think HK is actually very beautiful. The only challenge with HK is getting your kids into the right school. If the offer is remunerative, I'd do it in a heartbeat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:07 PM Flag
[ - ] Doo dood doo, doodoo dooodooo, doo doo doo, dooodoood ooo dooo. The sky was cold I somewhere in the mold I wish I could get back there some place back there when i fell asleep inside you. Semi charmed kind of life. baybe e babyee. Yeah! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:55 PM Flag
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Not quite, but most of the words are close to right, so good job champ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:57 PM Flag
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Get a better source. Just because you see it on the internet does not make it a fact. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:06 PM Flag
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If someone fell asleep inside me there would be a problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:29 PM Flag
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what if a germ does it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 10:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Are there any other NYC chat sites where parents talk about schools? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:55 PM Flag
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It's a big thing on my Facebook neighborhood parenting group. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:07 PM Flag
[ - ] Erin Hazelton has breast cancer. She is 37 with 2 kids.. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:39 PM Flag
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are her kids twins? i wonder if she used fertility treatment [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:42 PM Flag
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who is that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:50 PM Flag
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never heard of her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:51 PM Flag
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Who? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:57 PM Flag
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Who? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:07 PM Flag
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I don't know who that is, but chances are better that she'll be fine than the alternative. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:14 PM Flag
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Has she publicly announced it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have a child with complex PTSD? Trying to figure out how best to help 10 y.o. DD. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:38 PM Flag
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Get her a AR15 like every American. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:39 PM Flag
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what was the trauma? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:40 PM Flag
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Why does she have PTSD? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:41 PM Flag
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Does the child have professional help? Who dx? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:41 PM Flag
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I would imagine that a if a 10 year old. had PTSD that they should be in therapy with a family therapist. UB is not the place for help in this case. Please talk to your ped [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:52 PM Flag
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With professional help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:58 PM Flag
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I have read great things about EMDR and biofeedback (separately). I wish you and your dd the best of luck. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:00 PM Flag
[ - ] VBA DD never studies and has a A average at a TT school. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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How is that veiled? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:38 PM Flag
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I thought it was veritable [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:40 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:50 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:40 PM Flag
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I was that kid. Really. I am still kind of mailing it in and am fairly successful, but I do feel lazy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:54 PM Flag
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It all falls in a spectrum. Some kids need to work harder than others. Depending on where she wants to go in life a lot of it may depend on work ethic and sticking to things that are unpleasant. I have found people who skate through school have the hardest time when it's dime to dig in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Is red-shirting still popular? Or is it just the nyc suburbs? I live in Summit. I feel like every mother who has a son with a summer birthday, redshirts. One mother told me, “Well Luke pretty much told us he’s not ready for kindergarten! Hee hee hee”. So all of these boys will be entering K at age 6 and even turning 6 while in prek? Why doesn’t this seem really bizarre to most people? 67 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:34 PM Flag
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Seems bizarre to me. I feel like we’ve totally moved the goalposts on Kindergarten. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:36 PM Flag
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Wait until they tell you how advanced their kids are [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:36 PM Flag
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THIS!!! Friends are constantly touting their son's grades/accomplishments. He's literally 2 years older than my dd (December b-days: we sent her to K at 4.5; they red-shirted until he was 6.5)! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:47 PM Flag
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Just wait until they are SOOOOOOO bored in third grade and it's because they are just so smart--nothing to do with the fact that they are a full year older than all the other kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:01 PM Flag
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Exactly. The poor teachers! They’re teaching kids almost 1.5 years apart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:13 PM Flag
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It is bizarre! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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This seems so bizarre to me! I'm the parent of a 3 year old and can't imagine doing pre-k for another 3 years! The sooner this kid gets to school, the better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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I know, kids sometimes spend 4 years in preschool! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:10 PM Flag
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I live in Westchester and this has been going on for decades. My DS is 26 years old and has a May birthday. MANY of his classmates at our suburban public were a full year older than him (redshirted boys). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:39 PM Flag
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What did he think about it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:43 PM Flag
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Didn't care. He wasn't a particularly late bloomer. Was on the early side if I remember correctly, so it never affected him in sports or anything [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:45 PM Flag
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Redshirting will never go away. I believe children should be 5 before they start K. The NYC cutoff is absurd. It’s bad for young boys in early grades. Hurts boys and girls again in middle and tears it’s head again sending immature girl to college at 17 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:40 PM Flag
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I can't say that I'm against redshirting because i'm keeping my December kid back for this reason, but the redshirting in other districts with earlier cutoffs seems weird to me because from my perspective they have it good. I'm thinking "you think your May kid isn't ready? Try December!" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:44 PM Flag
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Boys begin school at age 4 in England. Hasn’t been a problem there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:45 PM Flag
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LOL you have no idea [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:49 PM Flag
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Yeah, they’re all suffering. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:50 PM Flag
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No, but my parents are both from England and they do not tout the English school system like it's some kind of panacea. There are a lot of problems in the system. Most of your snowflakes would be on the fast track to vocational school by age 10. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:51 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:09 PM Flag
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Yes and they used to send kids to boarding school at age 7. And corporal punishment was the norm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:49 PM Flag
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We are in 2018. Not talking about 20 yrs ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:50 PM Flag
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Many differences in their system. You get off teach rather early too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:49 PM Flag
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Off track [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:49 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:50 PM Flag
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and in New York City, if they have fall birthdays. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:52 PM Flag
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Yup [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:09 PM Flag
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They need to keep up with the joneses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:40 PM Flag
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OP: I think it's fine. Some kids aren't ready at 5. Don't forget: the school structure was based on farming needs, which is why we have summers off. There's no reason a kid couldn't start earlier -- or later. Do what's right for your kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:41 PM Flag
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^sorry, not OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:41 PM Flag
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Oh FFS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:44 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:45 PM Flag
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I can’t imagine those women doing anything different from each other. They all share the same brain cell. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:42 PM Flag
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Yup [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:10 PM Flag
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While chatting at the club pool! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:11 PM Flag
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I live in Summit too. My kids are older, but there were always a handful of these kids. Not many. Mostly boys. I think it is silly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:42 PM Flag
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How old are your kids? My second is beginning K in the fall. Every single mom of a boy told me they plan to redshirt, even ones with birthdays in April. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:45 PM Flag
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One college, one HS, one middle school (6th). The sixth grader definitely knows a few who are older, but it doesn't seem to be a significant percentage. It could certaonly have gotten worse though. My sister lives in NYC and has a very young kid for the grade. I think there is something to be said for not allowing red shirting the way NYC does it. Her kid is fine. Someone has to be the youngest, and if you just make a rule, the chips fall where they may. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:48 PM Flag
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Np: You must really like it to live there so long. We moved out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:12 PM Flag
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^ I couldn’t take it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:12 PM Flag
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I have an April kid in NYC public, he is one of the older ones in his class! I cannot imagine him in 4th grade right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:51 PM Flag
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I have a December kid in NYC public and there are many others. He is 12 in 7th grade and doing great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:55 PM Flag
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In England kids begin school at age 4. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:43 PM Flag
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My friend told me (for her May boy), if it was in the 1980s she would send him at 5, but is holding him back because K is too intense now. Fine if that's what you believe, but I'm also happily sending my April boy and not concerned one bit. I know girls as early as May also redshirting this year, not sure where you draw the line. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:48 PM Flag
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K has gotten more academic over the years [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:51 PM Flag
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It is very different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:03 PM Flag
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American Kindergarten is not hard. Trust me. It’s all bull. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:52 PM Flag
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the difference in expectations is huge. When I was in kinder, kids weren't taught to read until first grade. Now kids need to be reading well by the end of kinder, counting to 100 etc, etc etc. It isn't finger painting and having nap time anymore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:04 PM Flag
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I know. It’s really not bad. I think parents are over helicoptering their kids. They’re so nervous about everything their kids do. I have friends in Europe and their kids are practically reading at age 4. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:08 PM Flag
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In which country? Not Germany, not scandinavia - if they are there it is child led and not the schools. The kids don't start the academic stuff until older. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:14 PM Flag
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Liars [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:52 PM Flag
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I know an LA family and that kid is so ready for school, seems to be motivated by fear but of what I'm not sure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:50 PM Flag
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I don't understand why people feel the need to do it. It can't be for sports since most of those go by birthdate until HS. There is a cut off for a reason, kids in that range are age appropriate for K. Maybe I just don't get it because I have a late fall boy in NYC public so he was 4 when he started K. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:50 PM Flag
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so funny that 35 years ago you would want your kid to be moved up not red shirted. now it's standard at suburban schools. mostly for sports i think. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:51 PM Flag
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My stepbrother redshirted his 2 boys (spring birthdays) specifically for sports. Said he wanted them to be the biggest on the team. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:54 PM Flag
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And dumbest -np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:09 PM Flag
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i can see the argument for july and august but spring. that's crazy. unless they become college athletes it seems like a waste. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:23 PM Flag
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But no one plays school sports in K, its all outside programs that are birthdate based! Would you really redshirt in K so they are bigger/older for school sports 10 years down the line? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:54 PM Flag
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Yes, people do this for that reason [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:56 PM Flag
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That is ridiculous, if they are a halfway decent athlete in most sports they will be competing outside of school where it is age group based anyway! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:59 PM Flag
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PP - Exactly what my stepbrother did. Kids are in middle school now and are the tallest in their classes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:01 PM Flag
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And what does that get them? Being bigger doesn't mean you are better at sports. This is so bizarre to me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:08 PM Flag
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You can’t teach height [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:20 PM Flag
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yes that's exactly why they do it. to be the biggest kid in class. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:21 PM Flag
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This is true. My mother was a school psychologist at a northern NJ school district and she used to complain about all the moms (predominantly Asian) who wanted their child in a year early. It was difficult to explain to a mom whose kids can already read at age 4 that emotional maturity, especially for boys, can be a real problem [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:18 PM Flag
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Where are all these school districts allowing parents to redshirt their Spring and Summer kids? Certainly not in NYC public schools. Do NYC privates let parents choose redshirting? The oldest redshirted boy I know in a NYC private has an August birthday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:18 PM Flag
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NYC private allows it as do suburbs. it's huge in the burbs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:22 PM Flag
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DC has a cousin in the burbs, 10 months older than him but same grade. Like 5 inches taller also. so i guess it works. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:22 PM Flag
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Nyc privates demand it with their age cutoffs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:38 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm back! DC narrowed college choices down to 2 schools, UVM and Purdue. Still can't make a definitive decision and time is running out. Any thoughts on how to help him? 34 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:33 PM Flag
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No I put, just wishing you well. Enjoy your “last days” together!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:35 PM Flag
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Awww, that's so sweet. If he doesn't make a decision there will be many more days! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:39 PM Flag
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Flip a coin [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:35 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:59 PM Flag
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What does he want to study? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:36 PM Flag
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fisheries bio, conservation and environmental policy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:38 PM Flag
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is either school giving him $? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:39 PM Flag
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yes both. UVM is actually giving him more $ but Purdue ends up costing less. Purdue also offed Honors Program. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:41 PM Flag
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Purdue is huge, like really huge. Is he ready for that? It can be overwhelming. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:45 PM Flag
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Keep in mind transportation. UVM (Burlington) has buses and flights straight to New York, if you're in the city. I think Indiana might only have flights and I'm not sure which airport services the U. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:25 PM Flag
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UVM has a huge ecology community ... friend's son went there as an environmental studies major and ended up at Duke for grad school in forestry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:16 PM Flag
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Yes, my son is there right now and this is true. You can even live in themed "Conservation" housing. I don't know anything about Purdue but can answer what I can about UVM. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:19 PM Flag
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My son has concerns that the kids at UVM aren't that studious and the school is viewed as not being as academic as Purdue. His chosen profession required a masters degree. Do you know how students do who apply for advanced degrees fare? Also what year is your son in and what does he do for fun? thanks for offering to help! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 10:07 PM Flag
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Your son might be interested in the Sea Grant programs https://www.uvm.edu/seagrant/node/1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:24 PM Flag
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these are two schools where I doubt most ub'ers have any frame of knowledge [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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Who says? My kid is at UVM right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:17 PM Flag
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i didn't say NO ub'ers, I said most. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:17 PM Flag
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Why would you say "most" ? You really don't know. UVM is a very common safety school for Northeast students. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:26 PM Flag
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UB is about HYP & working in big-law, finance, or daddy's company. Environmental tree hugger stuff would never occur to most people on here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 10:47 PM Flag
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Purdue is more academic. UVM is known as a party school. Has he re visited both schools ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:46 PM Flag
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Yes. I also offered for him to take the rest of the week off and go back and see them. He doesn't think that will help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:48 PM Flag
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UVM has a great environmental program,. It is was its know for besides partying. What kind of program foes Purdue have? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:53 PM Flag
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I think that would help since you can get a feeling one way or the other from being there and getting the vibe [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:53 PM Flag
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Is he more into social life or academics? Everyone I can think of who went to UVM was pretty social and into the party scene [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:54 PM Flag
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kind of 50/50. he's more into fishing and hiking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:11 PM Flag
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UVM is right next to Lake Champlain and next to the Canadian border and the mountains. If you're interested in nature, I don't think you are going to get much closer. I'm not sure Indiana can offer the same (?) but am not sure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:21 PM Flag
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Purdue is definitely not in an attractive area of the country. Indiana is pretty gross, overall. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:27 PM Flag
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I was down to 2 schools. Really couldn't make a decision so I flipped a coin. I figured if I felt great disappointment based on the flip that would have been a look at my true feelings. If I really didn't care when I saw the results, I'd just follow them b/c clearly it didn't matter. I flipped the coin. Then felt real relief when it had a choice. I knew then that was the right choice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:11 PM Flag
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Good way to put it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:20 PM Flag
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Has he met with profs/dept heads at both schools? What's the housing situation? Are the FA awards for all 4 years? Which school has a bigger alumni network/ post grad opportunities/ publishing or research strengths? Since your guy is pretty focused on what he wants, maybe digging a little deeper into the departments/requirements/breadth of choices might be the way to see important differences. Do Purdue students go do environmental studies any place he is interested in, like say the Galapagos or Alaska? Does UVM allow for buildingnyour own major/concentration of study? That sort of thing . . . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:15 PM Flag
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Purdue is the better choice. Too many well off kids from the NY area who like to party and ski but aren't smart enough to get into Middlebury go there. Purdue is a very solid science and engineering school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:21 PM Flag
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It's not an either-or situation. You don't just decide you want to go to college "in Vermont" and have only two schools to choose from. My son applied to 20 schools, got into 8, and chose UVM because they gave him the most money. No, he wouldn't have gotten into Middlebury, but it wouldn't have occurred to him to even apply there. He wanted a certain program - that Middlebury doesn't have. For the record, Harvard doesn't have it, either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:29 PM Flag
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Can I ask what the program is. My son's chosen major is only in about 75 schools in the country. Mainly the land grant schools. TIA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 10:10 PM Flag
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Purdue is much better known nationally. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 11:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Full on brag alert. My dd got a Fulbright today :D 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:31 PM Flag
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That is awesome! I got one and it was life changing. Seriously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:33 PM Flag
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thank you for your nice reply! that is part of the reason I am so thrilled for her. It is something that she can put on her CV all her life. It's instant credibility. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:35 PM Flag
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That is part of it, but living in a different culture like that, not like Junior year abroad, which I also did, is so humbling. I actually had a relationship in another language. Had to push myself in so many ways. I was homesick (which I never was during Jr year abroad) but I grew a lot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:41 PM Flag
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np: absolutely! I'm very impressed with a Fulbright, no matter how old the person is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:41 PM Flag
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Why. You can get one from any bad college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:48 PM Flag
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what can i say, haters gonna hate. it's impressive full stop. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:50 PM Flag
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It has nothing to do with that. It is the personal achievement. I think it is great when people from lower ranked schools get them. Shows determination and resourcefulness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:50 PM Flag
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It is a very competitive process. There are kids at the best colleges due to legacy or other, there are kids at lower ranked colleges because that's all they could afford, or they weren't properly prepped or advised in high school. If a kid has an impressive track record in college, that is worth noting. And for a Fulbright they are competing against a field of achievers. So I disagree with you, fundamentally. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:14 PM Flag
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You are tiresome. Is there any post you won’t use to post this drivel? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:43 PM Flag
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I'm sure you believe the average Ashkenazi IQ though [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:47 PM Flag
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You have to give the Russians credit. At least they try to shove their foot in the door somewhere, as stupid as it usually is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:30 PM Flag
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I don't know what this is but awesome job! :) People need to brag about their kids more often. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:36 PM Flag
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Wow! That’s amazing, you should be very proud! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:36 PM Flag
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I can't even. Though I haven't told anyone other than DH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:41 PM Flag
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Congrats! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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Congrats. What college? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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Penn [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:41 PM Flag
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Congrats - that is wonderful! :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:38 PM Flag
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That’s wonderful! Congratulations! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:43 PM Flag
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Good for her! Glad you are proud and sharing! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:45 PM Flag
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Thank you for the positive replies, truly thank you! I was prepared for ub trolls or insantity, though nothing can dampen my joy today. I'm going to enjoy this brief moment! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:47 PM Flag
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Amazing! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:50 PM Flag
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AWESOME! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:01 PM Flag
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So, nobody is going to ask if she is URM? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:11 PM Flag
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AMAZING!!! I cannot even imagine how proud you are, Mom. I would be elated. Congrats and if she is around, throw her a nice celebration. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:11 PM Flag
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thank you. Really, I am on Cloud Nine. And like every other mom, I have had my ups and downs with my kids. So, as I said, enjoying this moment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:21 PM Flag
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Fantastic!Dear friend's daughter got a fulbright to teach music in Morocco, was an incredible experience. Congrats! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:18 PM Flag
[ - ] My 16 yo is popular and active in sports, but is teased relentlessly for his size - he's 6'1" and around 280 pounds. He takes it good-naturedly, but I secretly worry if this will have long-lasting impact on his self esteem. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:26 PM Flag
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Yes, it probably will, unfortunately. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:31 PM Flag
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My dd is very petite and skinny, and is also teased a lot. You can't win. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:35 PM Flag
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This was me. "Do you eat?" "How much do you weigh?" "What are you, a size zero?" People need to STFU with their comments on others' appearances/bodies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:38 PM Flag
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OR: One of her teachers kept calling her "shorty." I had to tell her to cut the shit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:49 PM Flag
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Oh, that is horrible! I'm sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:57 PM Flag
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Hopefully not but not much mommy can do for his self-esteem. Can you arrange for a private trainer/nutritionist to work with him? Not about "you need to lose weight" but rather "be better at sports." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Question for Jewish moms: Everything I read about Judaism makes me more attracted to it. I'm agnostic when it comes to religion, but I really like the philosophies of Judaism and the emphasis it places on asking questions and seeking answers but knowing that ultimately we don't know how god works. I am interested in looking into converting to Judaism. I don't have any Jewish family members or a Jewish DH, so this would just be for me. What do you think are some of the core tenets of Judaism that are important for a convert to believe and to know before making the jump to converting? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:21 PM Flag
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Number one would be believing in the god of Abraham. You don't sound like you do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:24 PM Flag
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I guess my issue is that I like the idea of having a community that follows a philosophy on how to live a good life that serves others and thinks about existential questions of life and what it all means, but you are right that I can't subscribe to the SURE belief of a certain chain of events that led to certain characters being prophets. There have been thousands of religions throughout history and all of them are just theories and attempts to guess at what lies beyond this life on earth, if anything. It's a beautiful and worthy question to explore and of all the theories I have examined I do like most and feel most drawn to the philosophies of the Jewish religion. But I think I see them more as philosophies and guiding principles. What would you consider the difference to be between subscribing to a life philosophy and having a religion? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:38 PM Flag
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Subscribing to a life philosophy is something you can do on your own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:01 PM Flag
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Are you Ivanka Trump or Jenna Jameson? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:24 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:29 PM Flag
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Jenna Jameson converted? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:23 PM Flag
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My sister converted. It's a LOT of work - unlike Christianity, where you can be saved in about a hot minute, they don't let you just decide you're Jewish one day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:26 PM Flag
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I think you're right that asking questions is a key tenant, but so is action and ritual. That being said, my agnostic dad goes to Torah classes on a weekly basis and he's not Jewish. Maybe it's better to just study with out the conversion [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:31 PM Flag
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Tenet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:33 PM Flag
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I like this idea, and that's really cool about your dad. If only there were a religion of agnostics who want to look into the philosophies of religion but without the dogma. A church of questioners who seek to know and understand and have compassion for other beliefs and ideologies but who know that knowing the true identity of god is beyond our comprehension and accept that without needing to put up a front and pretend that we know that our religion is right and all the others are wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:40 PM Flag
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Look up Maimonides’s 13 principles of faith. Those are generally accepted by Orthodox Judaism. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:35 PM Flag
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TY, I will. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:40 PM Flag
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Read "To Be A Jew" for the basics--an oldie but a goodie. Then, find a Jewish community you feel comfortable with. No two Jews practice the same way. Speak with the Rabbi of the community to get a sense of what's involved. Some Rabbis require considerable learning before they think you're ready. Others, not so much. Ultimately, 3 Rabbis will have to vouch for you in order to convert. The conversion itself is just a dunk in a pool (more of less). It's more of a process than a "jump." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:06 PM Flag
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OR: BTW I was born Jewish. DH is not, and has no interest in converting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:12 PM Flag
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For what you say you're looking for in religion, I'd check out Unitarianism. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Damn, I just remembered I left the salmon fillets I was defrosting on the counter this morning. (I was planning to move them to defrost in the refrigerator). They'll be no good at 5 right? They were vacuum sealed and frozen this morning. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:20 PM Flag
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They should be fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:21 PM Flag
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They are fine. Just feel them and as they aren't actually warm, they are good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:24 PM Flag
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Personally, I wouldn't take a chance. Not a fan of projectile vomiting and/or explosive diarrhea. Only on UB do people blithely shell out $50K for kindergarten but need to crowdsource a decision about $10 worth of iffy fish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:26 PM Flag
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God, this comment is so snide. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:29 PM Flag
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It's not snide - it's true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:32 PM Flag
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It can be both! You have a really shitty way of wording things. Why couldn't you have just said 'You know, I wouldn't risk it. That would definitely make me sick.' You don't have to be so antagonistic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:41 PM Flag
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"Shitty" was a fortuitous choice of words, considering we're weighing the risk of food poisoning. I appreciate your dark humor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:16 PM Flag
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If you are paying $10 for salmon fillets you have iffy fish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:34 PM Flag
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Where do you find fish for $10?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:00 PM Flag
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Totally fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:34 PM Flag
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Fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:36 PM Flag
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FINE [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:40 PM Flag
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This is how a almost always defrost when frozen in the morning [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:46 PM Flag
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The best way to defrost food is overnight in the refrigerator. NEVER LEAVE FOOD OUT ON THE COUNTER. Bacteria starts going immediately. Signed, a scientist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:59 PM Flag
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I would not risk it with fish - meat maybe, but not fish [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:00 PM Flag
[ - ] For the past two years I have been a full-time employee of a small consulting firm in NYC. I recently left an assignment at a bank that I'd been at for a year and a half, and started a new role at a new company, still with the consulting firm. I've just been offered a full time role in a totally different department at the bank. (I found the role on my own.) I'm going to take it, but I'm not sure if I should tell the consulting firm that I'm going to the bank, or if I should say I'm going someplace else. I worry they may pull some finders fee nonsense. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 04.24.18, 08:17 PM Flag
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Never disclose to an employer where your next job will be. It's none of their business. They can find out on LinkedIn in a few months if they are curious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:29 PM Flag
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OP: I have a feeling they are going to ask. It's a small company and the president and I have a personal relationship. (I'm not sleeping with him!) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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OP: I'm also worried there might be something deep in the contract I signed two years ago that I work for a former client they can claim a finder's fee, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:38 PM Flag
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Find your contract and look through it. If you are asked, you can always say "With all due respect, I'd rather not say", or fib and say you're not allowed to disclose that information at this point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:53 PM Flag
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OP: I'll try to find it. I remember in the winter, when the bank contract ended, I told the president I wanted to stay, but in a different role, and he told me to do what made me happy. But given that I just started the new role -- with a new client -- I could see them totally back pedaling on that. I was planing on telling them that I was going to a totally different company. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:59 PM Flag
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You may have signed a non-compete clause which can be binding. Check on that! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:17 PM Flag
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i remember you. congrats on getting the job at the bank! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:24 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you think people have lost parental grit over generations? I don't recall our parents' generation or earlier complaining about child-rearing so much. Gen X and forward seems to not have the tolerance for it. Or is it because we're sharing more about our personal grievances? 63 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:14 PM Flag
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You don't recall because you weren't there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:16 PM Flag
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They didn’t complain because benign neglect was an acceptable parenting style. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:16 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:17 PM Flag
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This! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:19 PM Flag
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I agree and I practice benign neglect today [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:20 PM Flag
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OR: oh believe me, I’m not knocking benign neglect. I think it’s beneficial in moderation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:21 PM Flag
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Me too. I started requiring my kids to go out and play every day. We are all happier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:25 PM Flag
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exactly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:24 PM Flag
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My mom says the reason I learned to read at 4 and my dcs didn't is because I wouldn't let them watch Sesame Street and Electric Company. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:18 PM Flag
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My mom does credit Sesame Street for why I read so early too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:18 PM Flag
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Learning to read early though is pretty meaningless. (not being mean, it's certainly nice but not correlated to anything). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:18 PM Flag
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A lot of women "back in the day" relied on pills and booze. A lot of dads barely saw their kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:18 PM Flag
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Valium for my grandma, zoloft for me, my mom never did but I wish she would treat her anxiety now [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:19 PM Flag
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No drugs for the moms or kids in my family. Don’t make mental illness normal. It’s not [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:22 PM Flag
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It's nothing to be ashamed of either and you don't need to feel threatened by others talking about theirs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:24 PM Flag
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?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:28 PM Flag
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PP mentions her family's experience and you snap back. You don't have to comment if you can't relate. She shouldn't feel bad about treating her mental illness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:33 PM Flag
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NP no one should feel bad. BOTH share their experience as far as I can tell. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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It's her "don't make mental illness normal. It's not." Comment that is nasty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:41 PM Flag
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I agree with the sentiment. Perhaps it could have been a general response not specific to the three generation poster [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:47 PM Flag
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Eh. The work day was shorter. Dads were home for dinner [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:21 PM Flag
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i think more women take pills now than back int he day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:26 PM Flag
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Child rearing wasn't as strenuous. Kids went to the one zoned school then played in the neighborhood until dinner. No chauffeuring, no school research, no tutoring, and parents didn't micromanage grades or arrange children's social events. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:20 PM Flag
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this. wish we could go back to that, i don't think our kids now are any better for all the effort we pour in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:22 PM Flag
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You can be this mom if you want [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:25 PM Flag
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OR: It's hard to do single-handedly though. If kids go out to play after school, there's nobody else to play with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:26 PM Flag
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I have been having my kids go out every day after school. I also tell them to text friends to meet them at the park. It is hard but manageable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:29 PM Flag
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Our neighborhood the park is full after school. Very grateful, and one of the reasons we chose Gen Ed three blocks from home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:35 PM Flag
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this is a huge benefit that us CW parents don't get. location makes a big difference. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:28 PM Flag
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We can got back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:25 PM Flag
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Move to a town with one school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:29 PM Flag
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I am 50 and the youngest of several kids and my mom chauffered CONSTANTLY. It is one reason I live in Manhattan. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:25 PM Flag
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OR: She must have been an overachiever! I'm 52, and my brother and I had piano lessons once a week -- that was it for after school. We walked (alone) to the teacher's house. We were normal middle class though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:27 PM Flag
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Nobody has ever described my mom that way :) That said, she had very little growing up, so I think if we wanted to do somethng she made it happen for us. I did ballet, took piano, played a few sports, etc. Didn't have it all in one day or season, but there were several of us, so she still had her hands full. We lived where you couldn't walk to anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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Parents wish to outsource everything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:20 PM Flag
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My mother always tells me that she thinks expectations have gone up too much for parents. She didn't play with us. If we went to the beach she sat in a chair reading and told us to play until we were all ready to swim. She fed us, hugged us, read to us, and drove us places, but she didn't feel like it was her job to entertain us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:20 PM Flag
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^ and fwiw, and I would never say this in real life, we turned out pretty great! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:20 PM Flag
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My mom was the same, but she had a bunch of us. It is a little harder with one, or with an age gap, to never play with them. I agree parents should not have to entertain all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:24 PM Flag
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She sounds like me, and here I thought I was so modern. I find adults playing with children absurd. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:21 PM Flag
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YES. My beautiful working mother never attended half of my extra-curriculars (of which there were few) because she had a job and hobbies and a fulfilling marriage. WAY more interesting than the women of today who live for their kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:23 PM Flag
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I work, but I am lucky to have flexibility, so I make it to a lot. I think I am fairly interesting, and my kids really like when I come to things. To each her own. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:44 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:24 PM Flag
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I just got jumped on in a thread below about marathon studying with my child, who needs academic help. Then another thread below about someone who hates their child and wants to bail. Makes me think people have unrealistic expectations. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:22 PM Flag
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My mom is my very best friend, but I doubt she would have devoted an entire weekend to studying with me. She certainly had better things to do than post about it on some stupid mommyblog. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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In prior generations, "parenting" was not a thing. People disciplined their kids without worrying so much about their child's psyche and self esteem. They sent their kids out of the house after school and told them not to come home until dinner. People today stress themselves out with parenting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:24 PM Flag
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Correct. It was life. Not parenting [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:32 PM Flag
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YES. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:35 PM Flag
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I think I have a lot more grit than my mom. She was always in her room with a "headache". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:30 PM Flag
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Mine was a lot too. undiagnosed depression. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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Jumping on this thread because I also feel overwhelmed. But for me, it's things like bed time, or picky eating, or small things that any parent would need to do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:34 PM Flag
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It gets easier! :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:36 PM Flag
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My theory is that it has to do with how woman are educated now. At school we are taught that you can deal with challenges through study and implementation of a plan. But I don't think kids are like that. So we get frustrated. I sometimes feel, "I've read all the books on tantrums, I implement their strategies, and they still cry." And I get upset. But I think I'm talking the wrong approach, but it's the main technique I've been taught [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:36 PM Flag
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I think it’s working women approach. Too “project management”. It’s dumb. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:44 PM Flag
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And that doesn’t mean a thing about sahm v whom. Sauk have been in the workforce too and think those job skills work on kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:48 PM Flag
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I'm personally struggling with this approach. Can you explain what you do differently [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:53 PM Flag
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I’m lucky - I have my parents and DHs parents as role models. But we put our adult life first. We maintain the relationships we had prior to having children and don’t mix our social lives with the lives of our children. I don’t believe that if you don’t get in the right preschool you won’t get in the right k and then won’t get in the right ms and then won’t get in the right hs and then won’t get in the right college. You know what, I could go on - but I think that sums it up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:25 PM Flag
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Totally agree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 10:22 PM Flag
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Back in the day people had larger families and lived near them. Moms had more people who could help - parents, sisters, cousins, close family friends, neighbors, etc. People today have smaller families, live far away from them, are more atomized, etc., so moms have to shoulder more of the burden on their own. I think this is one reason why people seem to have less grit today. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:37 PM Flag
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Gen Xers are perfect parents - we'll roll with anything, and still remember our lazy, carefree childhoods watching tv and eating junk food. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 08:42 PM Flag
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Latch key kids dodging the weird guy in the van who always wanted to give us candy and to help him find his lost puppy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 10:42 PM Flag
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back in the day , if you were half way intelligent you could find a job and work your way up a corporate ladder. These days the competition is rough and so many other factors (advanced degrees, who you know) get in the way. We fear for our kids and part of our way of dealing with it is to helicopter them from infancy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 09:19 PM Flag
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I’m not at all afraid. My son won’t be master of the universe, but will have a job that supports the necessities and some of the extras. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 10:08 PM Flag
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You hear it more because internet. Forums, fb groups, think pieces, mommy blogs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.24.18, 10:23 PM Flag
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