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[ - ] I'm recently engaged and my MIL is becoming increasingly difficult to deal with. I'm from a middle class background but my fiance is from an affluent family. I think she falsely identifies me as a gold-digger opportunist. Are there some specific steps that I can take to convey my sincerity? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:33 PM Flag
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Probably no different to the steps identified in your post this morning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:35 PM Flag
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? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:37 PM Flag
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This. Groundhog Day? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:43 PM Flag
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do not give her fodder. just ignore. you are marrying fiance, not mil. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:43 PM Flag
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I find that strange because I am also from MC background and dated 2 guys from very wealthy families. They loved me and I had more career ambition than them and they thought I was a good influence. I don't think they would ever thing "gold digger" since I'm quite sure money would all be put in trusts and protected from me. Only bonus would be use of ski house, summer house, family trips (not always a bonus), and dc's education. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:45 PM Flag
[ - ] How do people save so much? If your HHI is $600K or less, what is your HHI, age, and annual savings? Savings from salary or bonus/stocks? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:33 PM Flag
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350, 40k - 401k & 20-25k regular savings so not that much. Savings from salary as we don't get much bonus [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:37 PM Flag
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we are similar, but we earn much less: 90k wage. saved 20k from there and the entire 28k parental gift, so about 50k on savings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:45 PM Flag
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In NYC with kids? We are dual earners with kids who need childcare, housing + food so I don't grasp how what you live on is even feasible here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:47 PM Flag
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"We are dual earners" Exactly. That's the killer. We are 1-income household with a ton of cash as cushion. So no need to be a dual-income household. During the housing bubble I was able to get a great 2-bedroom rent stabilized, simply because at that point, it was easier to get a mtg than qualify for this newly built rent-stab. So we had no competition. That's how we kept housing costs low, no childcare, decent tax treatment. US punishes being dual-income a lot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:53 PM Flag
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"we had no competition" meaning, everybody was into buying at that point. which we weren't into thinking that home prices were inflated. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:54 PM Flag
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Once we pay off our mortgage (500k left) we can save more. Our mortgage is at 4% so we are choosing to keep it for now. We have 3 kids. If we had 1 we could save another 50-60k today [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:15 PM Flag
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that you have to save to pay for college of those extra 2 kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:16 PM Flag
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only 1 kid, a good PS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:00 PM Flag
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in NYC there's not a tight relationship between HHI and savings. so many are living way above their incomes at all levels. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:39 PM Flag
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350k now but used to be much lower during residency. DH and i are late 30s and have 400k combined in retirement savings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:55 PM Flag
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how much on student loans? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:57 PM Flag
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Seriously? Live on less, save as a matter of course (monthly deductions of AT LEAST 20%). Think long and hard before increasing your lifestyle (bigger place, household help, private school, beach house, etc) because once you've allowed yourself a luxury, it's very hard to go back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:04 PM Flag
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yep. we've started visiting family members in Europe (Italy) each year for the summer for 1 month. cutting that off now would be beyond depressing. it's the best part of the year by far. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:08 PM Flag
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I agree with this. we bought our house when we were making $150k combined (not in NYC). We'll probably come close to $400k this year and our plan us to continue to stay in the same house for a long to time. We don't want to be burdened by our expenses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:27 PM Flag
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HHI $300 - $350k. $100k cash savings total (annual contribution varies), 401k around $500k. We're 38 and 41. Savings mainly from salary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:23 PM Flag
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Thanks, all. I mean annual savings, not total net worth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:28 PM Flag
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80K, 33, save about 10k annually. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 08:18 PM Flag
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150k, 35, 17k, 401k, 6k in brokerage, another 3k sep. Around 25k per year. It's tough [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 10:22 PM Flag
[ - ] One of my employees -- someone very valuable -- came to me to advise that she had received a job offer and was leaving. I counteroffered, etc. -- nothing doing. I asked her whether she had told anyone and she said no. I asked her to please hold off telling anyone until we could meet and determine a transition plan, and she assented - I thought! At least she did not object. Next thing I know, she had told everyone! She said "she thought it was important to consult her colleagues in starting to make an orderly transition plan." WTF? 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:31 PM Flag
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it means she did not want to stay, and had moved on [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:31 PM Flag
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what do you mean "wtf?" I hate bosses who try to keep everything secret, and think they can control their employees like this. We are not working for thr KGB here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:32 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:33 PM Flag
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This. When my employees move on, I work hard not to take it personally. It's the definition of right to work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:34 PM Flag
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OP: She was at a level of responsibility where she would understand that her departure would be destabilizing. If she cared about the company or "leaving well" then (I would think!) she would be cooperative. I was only asking for her to wait until the next business day, after we'd had time to sit down and plan together! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:35 PM Flag
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Blah blah blah [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:36 PM Flag
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She, like everyone else, mostly cares about herself. It's your job as a boss to align your employee's personal interest (mainly getting paid, but also career advancement, and workplace satisfaction) with the company's interest. You are a failure here too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:10 PM Flag
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truth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:14 PM Flag
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op: Believe me I feel the failure. I checked in with her so frequently to make sure she was happy, challenged, engaged. She was always upbeat and positive. I told her frequently how valued she was and talked about her professional development. I guess I suck as a manager, but what else is one to do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:15 PM Flag
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PP: Not necessarily, it probably didn't have anything to do with you. Focus on moving forward. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:20 PM Flag
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the job might have been great, but does not mean she would not find something better - and "better" is different for everyone [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:26 PM Flag
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She can do whatever she wants [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:32 PM Flag
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How much notice had she provided? That's her only obligation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:33 PM Flag
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I am looking for a new job. As soon as I find one I plan to go to HR and make my managers cray controlling behavior known [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:35 PM Flag
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what line of work are you in? how high up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:36 PM Flag
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Mid manager in tech [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:38 PM Flag
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Me too! And I'm looking for a job? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:39 PM Flag
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What are you hoping to get? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:43 PM Flag
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oh well, what's the big deal? put a plan together and tell the rest of the employees what to expect [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:36 PM Flag
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It's disappointing, but unless she's at the executive level, it seems within the bounds of professionalism. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:39 PM Flag
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If I asked her not to say anything, and she disagreed, shouldn't she have said, "I disagree, I need/want to tell my team?" I told my own boss what the plan was, and I was strung out to dry when she blabbed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:16 PM Flag
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np. Does it even matter any more? She's leaving. What's done is done. OP needs to move on. She's somehow insulted, but there is nothing she can do about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:26 PM Flag
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OP: yes I am insulted that she essentially lied to me, and that she put me in an extremely difficult position in the process. Not to mention, I was out of the office on the day this happened -- I wanted to have the chance to talk about it in person. PLUS she said her offer was contingent on reference checks -- and I'd asked her to please take the weekend to think about a counteroffer possibility. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:30 PM Flag
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she quit, she does not care about you - as for your boss...they know it is not within your control [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:28 PM Flag
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You should never have asked her to hold off. What would be the point. I've been a manager for many years and do not understand your unreasonable request or the fact that you seem hurt by her disclosure. It is not personal, and I think you are making it personal and attempting to act like some injured party. Is this the first person that quit on you perhaps? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:16 PM Flag
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OP: She is not the first person to quit on me -- I have been in business for 25 years. It's just that our organization has been experiencing a lot of turnover, and I was eager to "message" this in a way that minimized the instability that is bound to follow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:25 PM Flag
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Ask yourself why the turnover, though, especially since you seem more than usually irritated at her. Once she's made up her mind, her loyalty isn't with you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 09:02 PM Flag
[ - ] On the subject of sisters-in-law, who is generally the most annoying: DH's sister, or wife of your brother? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:25 PM Flag
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the latter, though i have no exp with the former so can't really be taken seriously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:27 PM Flag
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BIL's sister. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:30 PM Flag
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*wife [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:30 PM Flag
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BIL's dw. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:33 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:37 PM Flag
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Isn't your BIL's wife your sister? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:30 PM Flag
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Brother's wife. Probably because I'd always been close to him. SIL puts a wall between him and the rest of our family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:51 PM Flag
[ - ] I am 50 years old, have dcs in middle school, and am divorced/single. Work FT. I am progressively getting more and more worried about my memory especially at work. If I don't take notes in a meeting I forget details afterwards. If I don't write down follow-up from a conversation, I blank on it until someone reminds me. To be fair, I don't sleep enough or take good particularly care of myself (e.g. no official exercise although I am very active). I am starting to freak out a little bit. 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:23 PM Flag
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It's probably a combination of sleep and hormones (peri menopause). Menopause can really fuck with your memory. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:24 PM Flag
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It's age [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:24 PM Flag
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OP: yes I had early menopause -- around age 45. But this really feels like more than normal. I may have a meeting with my team, make a decision (say, tell a particular person to take responsibility for a task), and if I don't take notes on it, later I may have trouble recollecting what the delegation decision was. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:26 PM Flag
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Yes, my mom is like this. She has been worried about Alzheimer's for 15 years now but it's kind of like what you describe and got a little worse but not much so I think it's age [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:30 PM Flag
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How old is your mom? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:31 PM Flag
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She is 66 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:39 PM Flag
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Peri Menopause [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:26 PM Flag
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OP: I'm post menopausal. Does that make it better or worse? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:27 PM Flag
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Not sure. I've heard people complain about this exact thing when going through menopause. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:28 PM Flag
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See a doctor just to calm yourself. Then, sleep enough! Exercise aerobically 3x week! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:31 PM Flag
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OP: I know, I know. It's just hard being a WOHM with no other adult around. I am exhausted and stressed all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:33 PM Flag
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OR: No kidding, you have a grueling lifestyle, and it's amazing it hasn't caught up with you earlier. I'm a chronic stress case though I don't have half the excuse you do, and I find Omega 3s help with my memory , but not as much as sleep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:40 PM Flag
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I am a year older and the same. I did cognitive testing -- it was actually kind of fun. They could see where my deficits were. You might do the same. In my case, nothing really worrisome, and now I have a baseline so that if I feel even worse next year, I would know if there was decline in an area. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:09 PM Flag
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Where did you go and did insurance cover it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:17 PM Flag
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^I didn't go here, but to a similar place. There are lots of places that do it. You would have to see about whether you qualify and if your insurance covers it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:23 PM Flag
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You're probably multitasking too much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:23 PM Flag
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OP: that is for sure. It is constant. But I am in a line of work where there are a million threads of activity all the time, and it is like a circus trick -- juggling, trying to keep all the balls in the air. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:27 PM Flag
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Things have gotten harder. With IM and email people expect instant responses. Look at Cornell Notes online for format for note taking in meetings. Has space for action items and key words. I also built myself a tracker in excel for the tasks I delegate, and can sort by person it project or due date. Some weeks I block out half a day for planning and organizing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Is this normal? My dh has a 27 yo dd from his first marriage. She has a small vanguard account (around 250k in stocks and 30k in cash). Dh has full access to it and checks up on it, can see when she has taken out money, etc. It seems so odd to me. His dd is an adult. Shouldn't she be the only one with access to this? 74 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:20 PM Flag
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If it works for them why is it a problem for you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:22 PM Flag
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It just seems very helicopter to me. I don't want my kids to be that dependent when they are late 20s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:22 PM Flag
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is he paying her way? if not, leave it be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:28 PM Flag
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Yes, he gave her most of this money. Maybe 20k is hers from saving. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:28 PM Flag
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but is he paying her rent and other monthly expenses? if not, it makes sense he cares that she's not being careless with her savings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:33 PM Flag
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So, don't raise your kids to be like that. Leave his child alone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:40 PM Flag
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what's it to you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:22 PM Flag
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I hope this is not a foreshadowing of how Dh is going to helicopter our dc into their 30s! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:23 PM Flag
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gtf over yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:28 PM Flag
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I don't want my kids to be useless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:28 PM Flag
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you have not said your sd is useless. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:33 PM Flag
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She's 27 and relies on Dh to manage her money. She's single, living with a roommate. I was married with a Db by 27. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:35 PM Flag
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she relies on dh to manage money he gave to her. does he pay her rent? you sound kind of ridiculous. married with a db does not mean you are more responsible than sd. it just means you were married. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:38 PM Flag
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It means I had my shit together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:42 PM Flag
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cuz you got married? do you think people who don't have their shit together don't get married at 23 all the time? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:45 PM Flag
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+ 1000 early marriage and childbirth is nothing to brag about [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:47 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:49 PM Flag
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You are also a bitch. We all have our pluses and minuses [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:41 PM Flag
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Whoa. Get off your high horse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:41 PM Flag
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She is a loser and Dh is going to support her fat ass until she's 40. I'm right to be pissed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:42 PM Flag
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Lol! Fake? You sound like such a jerk. Typical stepmom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:43 PM Flag
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+ 1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:44 PM Flag
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+ 2 who says something like this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:48 PM Flag
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ok... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:45 PM Flag
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Omg! This is an all time low, even by UB standards. You have some serious issues, op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:02 PM Flag
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Because I don't want to support a 40 yo fat loser? Maybe if she wasn't such a fat ass she'd find some guy to marry her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:12 PM Flag
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Not everyone is a gold digger like you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:15 PM Flag
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omg. what is your problem? why did you marry this man knowing he has children? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:25 PM Flag
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I did not expect he would be supporting his adult child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:36 PM Flag
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At least you two have something in common. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:46 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:40 PM Flag
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I am also in my mid 20s and my dad does this. He monitors my spending. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:24 PM Flag
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Omg [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:25 PM Flag
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Do you think that this is weird? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:27 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:27 PM Flag
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Uh..yeah. This is weird. But sadly unsurprising. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:45 PM Flag
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If the money is from the parents, I don't see why this is so egregious. Don't want dad looking at the account, give it up and rely only on your own money. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:28 PM Flag
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Or: I don't have a problem with it! I didn't think that it was unusual. I have a salary. But I just sort of scrape by. I think that he looks at my balance so that he can give me money if I ever get low. He also sometimes makes comments on my spending habits, like: "you order too much delivery food." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:31 PM Flag
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Wow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:32 PM Flag
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What is so unusual about this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:34 PM Flag
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It's fucked up. She's in her 20s. Beyond controlling and bizarre. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:46 PM Flag
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you prob do. he should cut you off. you won't stop otherwise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:34 PM Flag
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And yeah, so...part of being in your 20s is to learn shit like this. Sometimes the hard way. What a weak generation of offspring these people are producing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:46 PM Flag
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but you're not learning it the hard way. dad says, "order less." and you don't b/c he puts more money into your bank account. lovely dad but not so great for you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:52 PM Flag
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I was not OP. He needs to stop looking AND depositing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:31 PM Flag
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he might be handling the investments. can check to see if she is spending it. sounds like a responsible parent to me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:28 PM Flag
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Is this small for a 27 yo? Really? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:29 PM Flag
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This. Gave me a giggle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:45 PM Flag
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Yes. You should advise dh to let it go. Nothing good can come from having access to your adult child's account. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:35 PM Flag
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What does he do for a living and what do you do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:35 PM Flag
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He is finance, I am a sahm. We have 3 dc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:37 PM Flag
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Now I'm calling it. FAKE [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:42 PM Flag
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Because I have a great life? Ok hon. Sorry you are poor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:42 PM Flag
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What's great about your life. How old is your dh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:45 PM Flag
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He is 51. Why do you ask? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:46 PM Flag
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How old are you, op? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:50 PM Flag
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I am 37. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:56 PM Flag
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That is... ahem... a significant age difference. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:12 PM Flag
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You're closer to the dds age than his. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:33 PM Flag
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And? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:36 PM Flag
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Np: Okay, I honestly never thought that I would use this term and I sort of cringe while doing so, but I think that this situation merits it: NOKD [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:40 PM Flag
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NOKD mom here, you picked an excellent gateway post! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:48 PM Flag
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sounds like you were not working at 27 like sd was. what is your prob? she's living within her means with a roommate. this is why people ought not to marry into bleneded families. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:48 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:50 PM Flag
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You sound miserable [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:50 PM Flag
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Oh boy! You are a real piece of work, op [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:52 PM Flag
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So you are financially dependent on him as well? So what's the big deal? The two of you both depend on him financially. You have no right to feel superior. Sounds like you are just pissed that some of his money goes to his daughter instead of you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:00 PM Flag
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I am his wife. We are raising a family together. He is dependent on ME to care for his children. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:01 PM Flag
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It is pretty clear that the luckiest day in your life was the day that you married this guy. He has kids from a previous marriage. You signed up for this. He will love them forever and he will always provide for them financially. If he has enough $, then he will leave them an inheritance. He makes the money, not you. It is none of your business how he chooses to spend it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:07 PM Flag
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i disagree about its being none of her business. i do, however, think op is ridiculous. sd sounds like a fine, normal person and dh may be a generous father but not overly so. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:18 PM Flag
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i don't think sd is financially dpendent on him. sounds like he just gives her some cash gifts, maybe part of estate planning. sd seems to be working and living like a normal person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:09 PM Flag
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Let me guess: you were the OW? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:31 PM Flag
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Some people earn their money. Other people inherit it. And some people fuck for it. Which one are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:48 PM Flag
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Pretty clear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Wwyd? My 16 yo DS is a very good football player (offensive lineman). His coach says he is on the fast track to get recruited next year by d1 colleges. This means a chance at scholarship money. We can afford college but of course scholarship would be great. However, I'm very concerned about head injuries. I am not sure what to do here. Do I let ds pursue this or not? 46 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:15 PM Flag
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I would not have allowed high school ball. You did. So you aren't *that* concerned about concussions [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:23 PM Flag
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I am concerned, but ds really wanted to play and I figured that the odds of him continuing after HS were so low, there's no harm. Lots of men played in high school and have no long term damage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:23 PM Flag
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Why the worry now? Why not in MS? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:23 PM Flag
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Because college football is much different than MS. They are bigger, stronger, faster, and collide harder. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:25 PM Flag
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Concussions happen from day one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:42 PM Flag
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i am a little surprised you've let him do it thus far. my kids aren't going to play it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:29 PM Flag
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All his friends were playing. It was hard to say no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:29 PM Flag
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np, this was the same for my brother. we went to a very big football high school in ny. as I noted below, he has now had 2 back surgeries [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:34 PM Flag
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well, you have let him come this far- you cant be so naive you only discovered head injury concerns years into his football playing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:29 PM Flag
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You don't get it. The head injury stuff is not as big a deal in middle school, or even high school. Plus ds is one of the biggest kids on the field. He has never had a concussion or serious injury. College is a whole different ball game with much greater risks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:30 PM Flag
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Disagree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:33 PM Flag
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That's because you are ignorant [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:33 PM Flag
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ha ha. love the finality of the retort. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:39 PM Flag
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Wrong, wrong, wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:53 PM Flag
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YOU don't get it. Research shows it IS a big deal in MS and HS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:43 PM Flag
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my brother played in tier 2 schools. had first back surgery at age 27 and 2nd one at age 29 with 4 screws now in his back. He is 31 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:30 PM Flag
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There are a lot of holes in this story. What does "we cannot afford college" mean. What's your HHI and you have no savings at all? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:31 PM Flag
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How big is he [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:31 PM Flag
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He is 6'2" 260 but has not stopped growing yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:33 PM Flag
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^^10th grader [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:33 PM Flag
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What division is your high school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:38 PM Flag
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5A [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:40 PM Flag
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How many kids go from your program to D1? Sorry to ask so many questions just trying to ballpark where your son might be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:46 PM Flag
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Every year they send a few, maybe 5 on average to d1 programs and lots to d3 as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:47 PM Flag
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Holy crap, that's HUGE! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:20 PM Flag
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By the time he goes to college he's going to be 18 and he can do what he wants. Let him make his own college decisions based on what you can afford for him and what is offered to him. If he wants to play ball in college and he gets recruited, you will not be able to prevent him from moving forward. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:33 PM Flag
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I have friends whose children play college sports, and have at least partial scholarships. If you want him to actually get an education, make sure it isn't a really sports-focused school, or one that makes most of their money off their football team. The whole controversy over college basketball players not being allowed to get paid is because they make so much money for their universities, but get a worthless degree because they never have time for classes. Injuries are a whole other matter - I recommend he read Trouble Getting Up, written by a former NFL player. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:35 PM Flag
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Don't worry about whether or not he "might" be recruited. Wait until he actually is being recruited. You are definitely counting chickens before they have hatched. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:37 PM Flag
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He has been starting on offensive line since freshman year, went to camp last summer and got good feedback from the coaches. We sort of know he's in the pipeline, based on experience with kids from his scuool getting recruited. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:38 PM Flag
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He has been starting on the varsity team since freshman year? As a lineman? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:41 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:43 PM Flag
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Is he one of the biggest kids on your team? Linemen are usually upperclassmen. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:50 PM Flag
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He is among the top 5-7 biggest kids, but not the biggest. He is also very athletic and quick, that's why he was able to start as a freshman (at only 240 lbs). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:52 PM Flag
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what kind of camp. Was this your team pre-season camp or a for-profit camp? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:42 PM Flag
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4-day football camp at nearby university [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:43 PM Flag
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Was this a clinic attended by college coaches? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:52 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:52 PM Flag
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What do you want us to say? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:45 PM Flag
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Huh? I asked the question in my op. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:46 PM Flag
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We think you were an idiot for starting football in the first place. We keep telli g you that. Do you think we would suggest you actively help him play college ball? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:54 PM Flag
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I don't know. The scholarship money is a big deal. And my ds wants to continue playing. I feel like there is no obvious answer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:55 PM Flag
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There isn't even a question yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:20 PM Flag
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Yes, but what I'm saying is that you don't have to make any decisions now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:47 PM Flag
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My name in high school is not at all the same as my name now ... And I can name three others from my hs class that could say the same [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:04 PM Flag
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OK OP. You sound really sincere, but basically it's too early to worry about this. If he's recruitable, the coaches will come to you and you can make your decisions at that time. Not now. Your son could be injured, the team or your son could have a horrible season, he still might not grow (and at 6'2" he is short for a d1 lineman, though not for d3). Right now you have only speculation to go on. However, bottom line is that it should be your son's decision. Not yours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:22 PM Flag
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So it's money vs. safety? If you truly believe it's dangerous, there'd be no choice. However, you opened the door and the choice may no longer be yours. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:25 PM Flag
[ - ] The only way our nanny can get kids to do what they need is to bribe them with a promise of sweets or cartoons. Kids are 2&4. I am considering firing her for this. Am I wrong? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:15 PM Flag
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Maybe she is afraid you will get mad if she disciplines them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:21 PM Flag
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I told her that we have no cartoons or sweets rule so if she was afraid of me this would be the first thing to worry about [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:23 PM Flag
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There is no right or wrong. You are the mommy and you are the employer. You get to decide [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:24 PM Flag
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No; clearly she's inept. Why did you hire her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:24 PM Flag
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You can't always tell how nanny will be when you interview. Summer is coming up so kids will be home all day and I am thinking I need to replace [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:26 PM Flag
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References? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:33 PM Flag
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I got references. Different families have different expectations [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:42 PM Flag
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NP: So true [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:50 PM Flag
[ - ] A mother at my daughter's school is claiming that she went to a particular TT boarding school. I actually graduated a year before she claims to have graduated and have done the research. She didn't actually attend, there isn't even a student with her first name. WWYD? 77 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:11 PM Flag
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smile and nod [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:12 PM Flag
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smile and nod [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:12 PM Flag
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I would snort every time she mentioned it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:12 PM Flag
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don't out her. perhaps she is in witness protection. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:12 PM Flag
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Well then, the WPP is doing a horrible job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:14 PM Flag
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Wow! That is so weird! Are you sure that she did not attend (maybe she just failed to graduate or switched schools)? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:14 PM Flag
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I am pretty certain. I did a pretty good job of looking it up, and I only did the research after it was clear she had never even been to the campus. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:15 PM Flag
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Why do you care so much? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:16 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:29 PM Flag
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NP: Because OP needs and deserves to know if a woman in her community is a pathological liar! Isn't this patently obvious? Those people can become a real pain point! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:42 PM Flag
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How was it clear that she had never even been to the campus? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:17 PM Flag
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Just posted below and I would ask her a ton more questions and then call her on it, I mean you went there for chrissakes. I have NO tolerance for serial liars. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:20 PM Flag
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you could, you know, just stop befriending her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:23 PM Flag
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you know what, people get away with this crap and engage in it because they get the thrill of feeling like they pulled one over on someone else and they think they are smarter than others. OP doesn't need to scream it from the mountain tops but if the woman is lying I feel like she should get called on it because these people so rarely are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:26 PM Flag
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and? what does it matter? are you a college snob? she is not stealing or abusing somebody. i'd personally leave it alone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:30 PM Flag
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I'm not a snob by any means but "thou shalt not lie" is a commandment right up there with "thou shalt not steal". This woman is probably a sociopath of she lies about things like this and should be called on it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:32 PM Flag
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Honestly, you are way overreacting. She's fibbing. So what? The fact that you see yourself as Moses with the stone tablets is just proof you are nuts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:34 PM Flag
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that would be like me saying your responses are proof you're a liar trying to defend your own "fibs" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:35 PM Flag
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np: not really. you are, once again, projecting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:40 PM Flag
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actually projecting is saying that someone who calls another adult on the fact that they are lying is like a 4 year old. Four year olds do in fact lie, and it is the role of an adult to teach them that it is wrong. You are the one flipping things around- not me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:43 PM Flag
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you are obviously bent on doing what you're bent on doing. carry on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:53 PM Flag
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sociopaths lie. liars are not (always) sociopaths. there is a difference. you sound nuts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:41 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:34 PM Flag
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and what if they aren't? everyone realizes people like this lie. if it's not the boarding school it's something else. no need to call her on it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:32 PM Flag
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why call her on it? just to say, "nya-nya"? so you can get a gold star? what is the point? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:29 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:34 PM Flag
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You are as big if a problem as she is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:32 PM Flag
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Just mention oh gee, you went there in the class of 1995 or whatever, and leave it at that. She'll get the message. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:14 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:19 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:06 PM Flag
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what do u mean claiming? like it came up in conversation? i would have said "me too" before stalking her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:15 PM Flag
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It came up and I said, "Oh, I'm year of X, blah blah blah, do you rememeber X?" and she had no idea what I was talking about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:16 PM Flag
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maybe you don't actually know her real name? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:15 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:16 PM Flag
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This is def a possibility! Last name would of course be different. And people use nicknames and middle names in place of their real names all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:18 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:26 PM Flag
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Reading comp question: did you graduate from the school she claims to have attended? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:16 PM Flag
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Huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:17 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:25 PM Flag
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Did she actually say she graduated? Maybe she got kicked out before then. Happens all the time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:16 PM Flag
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I would be dying of curiosity and would corner her at some event (because you do have something in common) and ask her a ton of questions. If it is 100% clear that she lied I frankly would call her on it and not be afraid to tell others. People like this get by in life because others are too polite to call them on being a pathological liar. If that is what she is make her own it rather than supporting the lie (but be really careful to be certain she is lying). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:19 PM Flag
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This seems a little extreme (just my opinion) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:25 PM Flag
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probably but I have been lied to by people close to me who are like this and they do it because they know they can get away with it. It bugs me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:27 PM Flag
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But in this case the lie has no consequences for OP. Why "corner" her like a crazy person and gleefully prove to her she's a liar and then go around announcing the fact? As if anyone gives a shit. This is the way a 4 y/o behaves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:31 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:33 PM Flag
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You are insane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:30 PM Flag
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You sound fucking nuts. And wildly unpopular. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:47 PM Flag
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Ha, this happened to me with my ex-husband's girlfriend. She continues to claim that she went to Deerfield and graduated from Northwestern. No trace of her at either school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:19 PM Flag
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you should tell him. she could be a scammer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:24 PM Flag
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There's no trace of me at my schools unless you went there and go into the private online alum directory [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:46 PM Flag
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why would anybody claim that they went to a boarding school? it's code for: "my parents didn't like me" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:22 PM Flag
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No, it is not. Boarding school is code for "I wanted an exceptional education and a strong community". Very NOKD to think that TT boarding schools are the type of place parents dump their kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:25 PM Flag
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it used to be that way. what's the big deal? i've met some not so impressive kids from all sorts of boarding schools. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:31 PM Flag
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Okay? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:35 PM Flag
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it's not a criticism on the poor kids, they are the victims of having parents who want to get rid of them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:36 PM Flag
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You have no fucking idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:13 PM Flag
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"the type of place parents dump their kids" sorry, but everybody knows that this is what it is [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:32 PM Flag
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Yeah, nope. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:35 PM Flag
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you sound like you have some English in you. that's the only culture that pretends it's a normal thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:49 PM Flag
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PP. Far from it. Grew up poor and boarding school was one of the greatest experiences of my life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:13 PM Flag
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Not all boarding schools offer either of those things. In fact, many don't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:35 PM Flag
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Can you figure out her maiden name and then google her to figure out where she really is from? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:23 PM Flag
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Ignore [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:24 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:34 PM Flag
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I think she got kicked out. Does her first name start with S and married last name with C? CT boarding school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:24 PM Flag
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Ah, so close! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:27 PM Flag
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Maiden name starts with a B and is from LI? about 46? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:33 PM Flag
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DC boarding school? She got kicked out of both. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:35 PM Flag
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Wait, this is some crappy school in CT you feel so superior about? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:35 PM Flag
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It starts with a K? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:37 PM Flag
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Kent, no way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:14 PM Flag
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miss porter's? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:42 PM Flag
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BS is not in CT. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:14 PM Flag
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Is it in DC? She got kicked out of 2. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 08:32 PM Flag
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You are bitchy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:32 PM Flag
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My name now has no resemblance to my name in HS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:05 PM Flag
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Did you change your first name? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 09:17 PM Flag
[ - ] I lost my drivers license about 10 years ago and never renewed it because I never drive. Do I need to take the drivers test again? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:10 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:14 PM Flag
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yep. should not have let that happen. but see if you're still under the time for straight forward renewing. might not be close but not yet 10 years. it could be as long as 9. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:17 PM Flag
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op: Crap. How many years until you have to take the drivers test because I'm not exactly sure when I lost it. It could be less than 10. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:16 PM Flag
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one year after the expiration for most schools. it's on dmv. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:24 PM Flag
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oops. for most states. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:25 PM Flag
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For NY, I believe it's two years after expiration if you're a US citizen. One year if you're not. I found myself in this position after letting license expire while living overseas. Took a boring course and one driver ed class--even though I first got my license 23 years earlier and had never had more than a parking ticket. Passed, but see how it would be easy to fail. Especially if you fuck up parallel parking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:04 PM Flag
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"If you wait more than 2 years after your NY driver's license expires, you must reapply for a driver license in New York. This process includes a vision test, written test, road test, and pre-licensing course." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:18 PM Flag
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op: I didn't get it taken away but actually just "lost it." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 09:17 PM Flag
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Depending on exactly when you lost it, it might still be good. You should contact DMV to find out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 09:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Hummus and cucumber - best sandwich EVER. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:09 PM Flag
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what kind of bread? And anything on the bread? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:21 PM Flag
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Hummus and cucumber. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:47 PM Flag
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That sounds good [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:05 PM Flag
[ - ] What is considered a good salary in NYC? (Enough to qualify as umc) 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:06 PM Flag
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HHI 500K [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:08 PM Flag
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in NYC right now, so much gets eaten up by housing for a new comer that those inheriting an apartment from their parents live much better than those having double their HHI. the housing bubble is to blame. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:10 PM Flag
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2 mil [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:11 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:12 PM Flag
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or: I mean its still considered by many on this board to be just MC but in the grand scheme of things it is def UMC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:14 PM Flag
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Hahahahaha :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:15 PM Flag
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I think that it is more along the lines of a hhi of 300k [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:12 PM Flag
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This is our HHI and we can't afford Manhattan. We own a 2BR in BK hts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:14 PM Flag
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Do you send your kids to private school and take nice vacations? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:16 PM Flag
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I wish! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:17 PM Flag
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probably you both work, earning 50%-50%. that's a killer tax-wise [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:19 PM Flag
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If DH earns 400k and DW stays at home, that is umc (even in Manhattan) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:21 PM Flag
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the tax treatment of the 2nd earner in US is horrendous. in my home country, both are taxed as individuals and household expenses (cleaning lady, childcare) are fully deductible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:23 PM Flag
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Yup....it's ok though, we're love our neighborhood and live comfortably. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:24 PM Flag
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We live in manhattan with 3 kids on 350. We aren't in prime manhattan and we don't live manhattan lifestyle but we are doing fine and are happy. Public schools etc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:16 PM Flag
[ - ] A sign of the times? I don't care about cars, housing, having the perfect bag. BUT if my internet connection doesn't work well, life is not ok. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:04 PM Flag
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very Generation Z :-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:05 PM Flag
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LOL I'm 54 and this is me too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 09:14 PM Flag
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lol same here!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:09 PM Flag
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Hi twin [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:11 PM Flag
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i used to care a lot about having a beautiful home but i fear i am getting too lazy for it now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:18 PM Flag
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it's such a waste of time. i get it if you are a flipper and what to make $ on somebody else housing obsession. but otherwise, i don't get it. why be house-slave? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:20 PM Flag
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i think it's in the female genes to want domestic bliss. i still get wistful when i see beautiful homes. then, i live in one and i get headaches. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:26 PM Flag
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true. guys don't seem to care as much. if men could opt for spending less on housing but retiring 10 years earlier, i don't know a single one who would go for expensive housing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:27 PM Flag
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if this becomes mainstream, our consumption-based economy is in trouble. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:21 PM Flag
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it takes a little time for most people to become blase about consumption. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:26 PM Flag
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happens through generational change. don't expect the boomers to be less materialistic, but they are being replace by youngsters who are much less materialistic than the boomers are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:29 PM Flag
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i think your wish preceded your thought. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:36 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:03 PM Flag
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We can only hope. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you work full-time if you don't need to work at all? Why aren't there more part-time high quality jobs in US? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:01 PM Flag
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We need to eliminate H-1Bs, so less competition for high quality jobs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:03 PM Flag
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puhleez [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:18 PM Flag
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Yes, I would but not in a high stress job [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:07 PM Flag
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i wouldn't at this point, i learned to enjoy free time a lot [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:08 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:10 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:10 PM Flag
[ - ] No one does any public school for bragging rights. People want best school for dc. How would you even brag about district g&t? Such nonsense IMO (I do think some families are private or bust due to social pressures) 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:01 PM Flag
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Anderson is public, it's much better to brag about it than to brag about any private in NYC [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:03 PM Flag
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Maybe Anderson or Hunter maybe but not district g&t programs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:04 PM Flag
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depends. obviously moms who work the system well, including good district G&T, have much more to brag about than those moms who have to pay a ton for less. just my 2 cents. they aren't really bragging about their kids, but about how resourceful they themselves are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:07 PM Flag
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How do they possibly brag about it outside of anonymous UB land? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:08 PM Flag
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this is like when people say: "I'm lucky to have a great rent stabilized". they don't need to go through the math for people to realize what the advantage means. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:16 PM Flag
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Ok, but there is a post a few pages in where people are saying that district g&t is just for bragging rights. What you are saying doesn't add up to that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:19 PM Flag
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"just for" of course not. but clearly, having a kid who's smart enough to be able to save the parents $40 per year in after-tax $ is pretty cool. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:24 PM Flag
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IA but I don't think anyone decides to go with a shitty g&t over good gen Ed for bragging rights. I don't know anyone like that anyway [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:28 PM Flag
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Work the system well? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:20 PM Flag
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Not really. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:08 PM Flag
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they can brag about not having to spend $40k AFTER-tax money per kid :-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:04 PM Flag
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With this much rationalizing anyone can be accused of bragging. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:05 PM Flag
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if you can't see the advantage of not having to part with $40k after-tax money per kid... what can you see? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:07 PM Flag
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Of course I see the advantage but I don't see the bragging part. Do you tell women who get cheap functional purses that they aren't getting 5k bag for bragging rights? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:10 PM Flag
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My kid is smart enough to get into district g&t. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:08 PM Flag
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No one says that IRL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:11 PM Flag
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of course they do. those who aren't have to go private [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:17 PM Flag
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I don't brag. If I did it wouldn't be about an elementary school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Planning a trip to outer banks. What part/town should I stay in? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:46 PM Flag
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^^^first time there, one dc age 6, going first week in sept. The first house I cliked in is in nags head- is that a good location? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:47 PM Flag
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Nags Head, not so much. Try Duck. Much nicer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:05 PM Flag
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This. Duck to Corolla much better, unless you want to do more touristy things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:10 PM Flag
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I want to try it too. Is there swimming in September? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:51 PM Flag
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North Carolinian: Should be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:00 PM Flag
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^Late May to Mid/Late Sept. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:01 PM Flag
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^It could totally be freezing though if the year is a fluke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:03 PM Flag
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also from NC and agree, swimming in Sept. is fine, Duck way better than Nags Head [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 09:15 PM Flag
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You want to stay in Duck or Corolla or Pine Island (between the two) if you want to stay in the nice part of the Outer Banks. Both are very nice. Duck has the cutest town, so personally that's my favorite. But Pine Island is the prettiest. At some places, the island is only one or two houses wide, so the views are beautiful from both sides. I've never been all the way south, but Nags Head and the area around there is a little more beachy with the fried seafood, putt putt, etc. But not as nice shops, restaurants, etc. One thing that's really worth doing when you go is a trip to the Kitty Hawk dunes. They are very cool. You can fly a kite or I think some people use a boogie board to surf down them. I would skip the 4 wheel drive area unless you are a hardcore nature lover. It's really remote. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:04 PM Flag
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^^ If you go in September, it will probably be too cold to swim in the ocean. If you go further south, like Wrightsville Beach, the water will be warmer because it's on the gulf stream. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:07 PM Flag
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LMK if you have more questions - I know the NC beaches really well and have vacationed in OBX multiple times. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:08 PM Flag
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If you don't have a 4 wheel drive vehicle, forget Corolla. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:49 PM Flag
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np: not true! Corolla is completely built up. Just don't go beyond Ocean Hill (or something like that) which is North of Corolla. It's obvious since the road ends and you have to drive on the beach. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:12 PM Flag
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Love Pine Island -- we are going again this summer! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:11 PM Flag
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Rodanthe looked lovely the film. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:34 PM Flag
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We go to Ocracoke every summer. Love it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:48 PM Flag
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^^ it's sort of the anti-Duck. Unpretentious, undeveloped, sleepy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:49 PM Flag
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I'm old and we used to go to Duck when it was like this (around 1980) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:13 PM Flag
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I love it too. But you have to bike or drive to the beach. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:21 PM Flag
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We both got jeeps so we can cart the whole crew out to the beach without much difficulty. It's the best two weeks of my year by a long shot. :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 07:36 PM Flag
[ - ] I was doing some volunteer work with my SIL today. The cash register system has three options, "Cash, Credit, & Debit'. Somebody bought a soda with two quarters and SIL didn't know what to do. She looked at me, and in all seriousness said, "How am I supposed to ring up change? There is only a button for cash!" 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:45 PM Flag
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huh? what is your point? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:00 PM Flag
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She's an idiot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:01 PM Flag
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lol. Momentary brain fart. You on the other hand, are dwelling, relishing your superiority. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:01 PM Flag
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I would too, if my SIL were that moronic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:32 PM Flag
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what did she think "cash" means? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:19 PM Flag
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Paper bills, I bet... ps. OMG [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Finance/tax moms: What does it mean if someone owns his business claims to have earned $500K last year but the the first week of January this year paid himself like $175K? Does that look fishy? 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:30 PM Flag
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well, paying himself could be an expense, so may not correlate to his earnings. really not enough information [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:33 PM Flag
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You cannot assume anything, he may want to defer income to 2015. Depends how business is set up [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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payments may be front-loaded for some business or personal reason. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:35 PM Flag
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What if this is a guy going through a divorce? Do you think he may want to defer/hide income this way? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:38 PM Flag
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No, he understands how tax system works and takes distribution [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:39 PM Flag
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Depends. Works for C corp, not LLC. But OP is so fucking stupid she should give it a rest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:41 PM Flag
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whoa. what's the hostility? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:45 PM Flag
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I am tired of all the women on today who cannot figure out anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:48 PM Flag
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^^^if you do not understand finances and wont take a course, or your father wont negotiate your prenup, go away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:49 PM Flag
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This. Its OK to be NOKD, and not understand how finances work, but either learn or give it up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:50 PM Flag
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Okd women rarely understand how finances work. They have advanced degrees in art history and English lit. Their husbands manage their finances. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:05 PM Flag
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They can learn, but UB wont help [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:06 PM Flag
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It must be wonderful to have been born full-grown, knowing absolutely everything. How tiresome it must be dealing with us mere mortals who have had to actually make inquiries of others since we could first talk in order to gain knowledge. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:54 PM Flag
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Nope, many people actually go to school, take courses, etc. If OP is old enough to be friends with someone who earns this money, she should get off her ass and do some learning. UB does not count as learning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:56 PM Flag
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Well you obviously must be guarding some pretty exclusive info to be so stingy with it! Is it making you cranky, being so special? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:01 PM Flag
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Posting on UB cannot help readers, seriously [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:04 PM Flag
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Wow. Why are you so angry? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:03 PM Flag
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I am not angry, I just think that women looking for easy answers instead of doing real research do not do any women any good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:05 PM Flag
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Calling someone "so fucking stupid" suggests a lot of anger. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:08 PM Flag
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If you do not understand business, stop trying to understand. Many variables. Go back and live withyour parents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:41 PM Flag
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Desperate to prop yourself up by putting down others. How is it to have the emotional maturity of a 12 year old? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:55 PM Flag
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Nope, I think women have to learn about financial matters. You don't do that by posting on UB [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:57 PM Flag
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Well you're obviously dedicated to the cause by being an insulting, nasty person. What a boon to the sisterhood you are! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:02 PM Flag
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If you think that posting on UB helps women, I think you are sadly mistaken. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:03 PM Flag
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I think your approach to helping others become more financially savvy sucks. Instead of insulting OP, why not kindly say, "Your question would be best answered by consulting with a professional or taking some classes in personal finance."? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 06:08 PM Flag
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No way to know what this means without further context - [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:51 PM Flag
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If you are getting to the point where you may be negotiating a prenup, ask your lawyer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:53 PM Flag
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If he loves you, you can ask him this. If he doesn't. who cares? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:58 PM Flag
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It seems to me that you want to verify his earnings. Are you a golddigger? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.19.15, 05:59 PM Flag
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