• Filter the conversation
[ - ] Why do people buy pets? It's added mess to clean up, vet bills, poop and pee everywhere, it dies in 10-15 years and then your kids are sad, and in general they make your house smell bad. Why? What's the benefit? With babies they are helpless for a short period of time but then grow into self sufficient kids capable of conversation and independent action who then turn into teenagers and adults. With pets, it seems like signing up for being a special needs parent to a brain dead kid who shits everywhere. What do you get out of this? Is it some sort of martyr complex thing? 43 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:37 AM Flag
»
Some people love animals. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:38 AM Flag
»
^^& even if they don't love taking care of their animal(s), they love them enough that they don't mind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:40 AM Flag
»
Most pets are trained and do not go to the bathroom everywhere. They show you unconditional love. They're funny, sweet and cuddly. And you can leave them at home without a babysitter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:40 AM Flag
»
Seems like something needy people would do. People who like that animals love them even if they act like a jerk whereas people will unfriend you if you act like a jerk and there will be consequences. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:14 AM Flag
»
No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:25 AM Flag
»
That's a really screwed up way to look at things [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:35 AM Flag
»
not really. why do you think homeless people often have dogs? Dogs love you no matter what. With human friends you have to actually be a decent person to be around. All the meanest people I know have dogs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:06 AM Flag
»
Some people feel love for furry cute creatures. You seem like a robot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:41 AM Flag
»
Ha! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:58 AM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:08 AM Flag
»
Why do you say that babies grow to be self sufficient and then compare getting a pet to being a parent of an SN DC? Your argument fell apart there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:41 AM Flag
»
with babies you raise them to be independent and capable of conversation and independent thought and action. With animals, they will always "need" you so it seems similar to being a special needs parents [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:16 AM Flag
»
you know special needs kids start out as babies right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:20 AM Flag
»
yes. my point is that no one goes into parenthood hoping for a special needs kid. Hoping to raise a human being incapable of being independent would b unthinkable to most people. how is that different than pets? Pets will never grow to be independent. they will always he helpless pee and poop machines. why are pets more desirable than special needs kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:21 AM Flag
»
Fun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:43 AM Flag
»
Who cares if kids are sad? Really. Welcome to life. You sound fragile. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:43 AM Flag
»
because life is hard enough and your job as a parent is to be their support network and bolster them up and make life easier and happier for them and be there for them when bad things happen to them. Introducing more sadness into their life seems pointless [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:17 AM Flag
»
I don't care about making things as easy as possible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:02 PM Flag
»
My sweet dog brings me so much joy I can't imagine life without him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:47 AM Flag
»
what is joyful about your pet? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:24 AM Flag
»
You mean about the experience of having him? So much. They're amazing creatures with distinct personalities and desires. I love the way we can communicate so well. I love how loving he is and the love I have for him. He's my little angel! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:41 AM Flag
»
He cracks me up, too. I'm convinced he knows what he's doing when he makes me laugh. I was mowing the lawn today and came back inside and laid down on the floor I was so beat. He came over and put his paw on my arm like he's done before when I've cried. Checking to make sure I'm ok and giving me kisses. Love him!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:43 AM Flag
»
okay that's pretty cute [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:07 AM Flag
»
I consider my little dog an alive piece of art. Looking at him makes me happy. I feel calmer in his presence. I have a child and he grows and changes and is unpredictable, like he is supposed to be. My little dog is the same little dog that doesn't really change, except gets older. I like nurturing and my little dog is the receiver of that and he loves the attention. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 06:25 AM Flag
»
pets bring you love. and they don't HAVE to pee and poop everywhere-- some people do train their pets. I love my little dog and she's my friend. just my companion- always there for a snuggle. but if you don't like pets- don't get one! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:55 AM Flag
»
I won't get one. Trying to see what other people think is so great about them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:18 AM Flag
»
Pee and poop everywhere? No. If you don't like them don't get one. Why so angry that people do something that makes them and their kids happy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:19 AM Flag
»
I'm not angry, I'm trying to see what motivates people to purchase pets. To me it seems like signing up to be a special needs mom to a severely brain damaged who will never live independently. You clean up poop and pee and you expect to take care of the kid for life. So why are special needs kids thought of as something awful and pets are thought of as awesome? Both seem undesirable to me. With a special needs kid who deal with the cards you are dealt since presumably you expected a typical kid. but with a pet you KNOW that the pet will never be independent. so why purchase one in the first place? What do you get out of it? It's soft? So are blankets and stuffed animals but much cheaper. Just don't see the upside to pets. Maybe you can explain [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:24 AM Flag
»
You are obtuse. Blanket is inanimate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:28 AM Flag
»
what's so great about an animate soft being? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:08 AM Flag
»
Wow. I wouldn't consider a special needs kid awful. At all. I only got a dog because my kid desperately wanted one, but it's been a great addition. I don't have to clean pee and poop. Dog is trained. She's affectionate, playful, and funny. She's a good hiker, runner, and swimmer. She's fun. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:35 AM Flag
»
When I was young, I was devastated when my dog died (I was 16), but that's a testament to how much I loved him. I had so many shy awkward years, and he was always there to snuggle with and be happy to see me. You don't shield kids from grandparents even though they'll die too. It's better to have that joy then to never have it- and only the ones who find joy in the pet will feel sad at its passing. As an adult, we live in the country, don't really know too many people (we move a lot), and I like the companionship of my dog. She also makes me feel safe and protected even though I can't see a neighbor. She requires about 5 minutes of work daily (scoop food/water in the am and pm, open and close the back door for her occasionally). It's not a martyr thing - raising dogs is like one hundredth the work of raising a dc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:29 AM Flag
»
You can easily google "benefits of dog ownership." For those who find dogs cute, there are many benefits. Obviously they would not apply to dog-dislikers [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:31 AM Flag
»
I have been caring for my parrot for more years than most UBers have been alive (closing in on 50 years) and each and every day has been a joy, not a chore. You are either a stone cold person or a troll. Animals bring many people happiness. It's not difficult to understand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:49 AM Flag
»
I get that many people enjoy them. My question was why. Not trolling, just trying to see things from a different perspective and understand. The answers have been good ones. I remember you, parrot mom, from a post many years ago. You got your parrot from an ex boyfriend right? What ever happened to the ex boyfriend? Is he still alive? So are you like 70 then? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:11 AM Flag
»
Wrong parrot mom. My parents gave me my bird when I was a child. I am in my 50s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:20 AM Flag
»
It's a troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:20 AM Flag
»
And a bad one at that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:25 AM Flag
»
+1 So obvious [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 05:26 AM Flag
»
You seem like a sociopath [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:59 AM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 06:22 AM Flag
»
I feel the same. I don't get the value of needy things (pets, children) aside from the momentary joy of their cuteness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 06:49 AM Flag
»
I got a cat because I live in a building and had mice. It was supposed to be a business relationship but I completely fell in love with him. Never had a pet before. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 11:57 AM Flag
[ - ] The kids (and maybe my niece/nephew) each get five presents this year: something to read, something to wear, something you need, something you want, and something to watch/listen to/play. And each one gets a certificate for their after school activity of choice. Nothing else. Good idea? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:29 AM Flag
»
I like this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:31 AM Flag
»
Yes, but the kids should do the same for you and DH [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:32 AM Flag
»
Each? Or altogether? I go insane and go overboard on Christmas until I'm crying while wrapping presents on Christmas Eve. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:37 AM Flag
»
I don't go overboard but don't follow a formula. An experience, a book, a cool gadget, and a piece of clothing maybe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:20 AM Flag
»
We always go away at Christmas so that is the gift. I'll pack something that is needed on vacation ( like a new swim suit) that Santa brought. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 06:30 AM Flag
»
You sound so organized. I just throw things into a cart a few weeks before Christmas. Maybe I'll apply this for my oldest. It's getting harder to find things for her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 11:58 AM Flag
»
What if what they want is something to read? What if they need new clothes? My kids would always want video games (something to play). So really, you're just buying them 5 presents. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 12:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Are the women prettier in NYC or in Los Angeles? 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:21 AM Flag
»
Is this a trick question? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:25 AM Flag
»
LA is prettier than everywhere. It's their job [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:25 AM Flag
»
MM spoken by someone who has no clue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:41 AM Flag
»
Ny native who lived in LA for 11 years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:51 AM Flag
»
Case in point [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:21 AM Flag
»
NY women are more natural and therefore more beautiful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:27 AM Flag
»
LA, obviously. it's where moves are shot and porn is made. every dumb hot girl from Kansas who wants to make it big as a movie star moves to LA. NYC has hot girls too who work in fashion or PR but nowhere on the same level as LA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:28 AM Flag
»
In their 20s LA girls are prettier. After 30 NYC women are prettier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:28 AM Flag
»
This. Maybe it's too much sun over there? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:30 AM Flag
»
No it's too much plastic surgery. -LA mom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:31 AM Flag
»
^^^ meaning injections too, not just actual surgery [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:34 AM Flag
»
ITA. The only standard for pretty in LA is 20 something girls. When the looks fade the town is filled with women trying to look 20 again and they ruin their looks trying to achieve this instead of just looking like an attractive 30 year old. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:35 AM Flag
»
This is exactly right. I'm thinking about making an appt right now. It was easy to say never until things started to change [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:38 AM Flag
»
Yes and all the rest. I agree [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:32 AM Flag
»
Agree. But NYC women never have as great of bodies as LA women. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:39 AM Flag
»
NY women more polished [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:29 AM Flag
»
Depends on your taste but LA women are "hotter" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:32 AM Flag
»
I have lived in both and NYC women are more naturally attractive, but if we're talking 2 women standing next to eachother with makeup on, LA is for sure prettier. Women in LA also have nicer bodies as they ar emore fit. NYC is the land of skinny fat women who dont eat and look great in clothes but are flabby underneath. LA women eat a little more but are much more in shape. So many terrible asses in NYC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:38 AM Flag
»
DH? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:40 AM Flag
»
Lol, no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:46 AM Flag
»
Woman here. Women are prettier in LA but for some reason I found it much easier to date there than NYC. I suspect it's harder for men to meet women there, due to the sprawl, and the gender ratio is reversed there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:42 AM Flag
»
I found it easier to meet men in NYC. I am like a 6.5 and it was super hard in LA competing with beautiful women because that is literally ALL men value there. I saw so many guys who made less money than me, who were less attractive, thinking they deserved to date 22 year old super models. NYC at least personality balances it a little bit. Also I am a brunette and I think LA values blondes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:48 AM Flag
»
This is crazy but so true. Every guy in la CAN date a 22 year old model if he wants. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:51 AM Flag
»
or. yep, totally. And whats hilarious is of course they come back to me later wanting to meet up because they realized that wasnt all it was cracked up to be. They also would try to talk to me while dating these women because they were bored. I got about 5 messages from random guys I used to date on election night. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:56 AM Flag
»
I had no issues doing in LA, and met my dh there. We relocated to the Bay Area and was shocked at how plain and ugly the women were vs the dh they landed (in the burbs) but I. Sf proper, the guys are so ugly/hipster/effeminate..was glad I met dh in LA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:51 AM Flag
»
Dating [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:51 AM Flag
»
Duh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:21 AM Flag
»
No contest, L.A. In fact, no contest in the world. The only competition is Sweden. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 12:18 PM Flag
»
^^And yes, I've lived in both and travelled globally. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 12:18 PM Flag
»
What about Dallas? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 12:54 PM Flag
»
What about it? Younger and still more attractive than NYC, but pretty average as cities go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:01 PM Flag
[ - ] Parents with kids in college- what do you send for care packages? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:20 AM Flag
»
Home baked goods (cookies, brownies). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:28 AM Flag
»
My dad used to send me homemade cake and bread (he's a baker by trade), a letter/maybe a cute comic strip, red cups and ping pong balls, a gift card for the school bookstore for $50, laundry detergent, some quarters, and a $100 bill... but he's a blue collar guy who never went to college. My mom dumped my two duffel bags and three plastic bins on the sidewalk and drove off on move in day while I went to get a cart. I think she sent me a bottle of wine and a dollar store necklace on my twenty-first birthday. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:35 AM Flag
»
Here's a twist, though: my dad is the one who walked out on us and we basically never saw him more than once a year after that. He just finds it easier to keep in touch via cards and gestures. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:38 AM Flag
»
Wow at what age [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:52 AM Flag
»
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:28 AM Flag
»
I gave my dc some halloween decorations for his dorm room and some candy. He liked that b/c he said kids came by his room for the candy and he made some new friends. Other than that, I didn't really send anything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:07 AM Flag
»
Nothing. The kid has his own money, credit cards, access to everything we do, and we text daily. There's nothing TO give him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:23 AM Flag
»
aw. I never once got a care package from my mom. She never even visited me at college. My roommate got care packages every week and one she sent me a care package, and I cried because I was so touched. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:21 AM Flag
»
Do parents do this? Mine didn't and no one I knew in college ever mentioned this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:22 AM Flag
»
I have never sent a care package to college. Daughter is a senior now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 11:00 AM Flag
»
I did this my daughter's freshman year of boarding school. Haven't since. Like a previous poster said, kids have access to everything they need. It seems pointless. But if you must, sweets are usually a hit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 11:54 AM Flag
[ - ] ITs supposed to be 91 tomorrow and am attending a baby shower at a restaurant in NYC (coming from NJ) - can I wear white skinny pants with a summery top? My fall dresses are too hot and my summer are too beachy for this time of year so was thinning black sleeveless theory blouse with white pants... 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:09 AM Flag
»
Sure, go for it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:11 AM Flag
»
You can wear a summer dress. It's ok to dress for the weather and not the season. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:12 AM Flag
»
This. Especially given that it's still September. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:13 AM Flag
»
I attended one today. I wore a summer dress with flats. Lots of women wearing maxi dresses as well as older women wearing dressy pants and flowy blouses. This is probably our last week to wear summer dresses so go for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:13 AM Flag
»
Thanks guys! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:14 AM Flag
[ - ] FTM here. 2.5 YO DS took long nap, refused dinner, said his teeth hurt and now has 100.4 fever. When asked he replied that his throat does not hurt. Any gut instincts as to whether he is getting a tooth or actually getting sick? TY! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:09 AM Flag
»
Just teeth [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:13 AM Flag
»
Could be either. Give him Tylenol and hope you all get some rest. He'll be fine in no time either way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:33 AM Flag
[ - ] Sorry in advance for the long post. People will call this fake but here goes. I've posted about this before. A guy I used to casually date many years ago, after a hard breakup with my first love, was really into dark fantasies and rape fantasies. I was young and gave it a go and thought I was really badass at the time. It wasn't my thing and I moved on from dating him as he was kind of crazy. Actually he was very crazy. Successful but very crazy with some underlying emotional issues. A few times a year he calls me wanting to catch up. Usually I ignore him. Today I picked up since I was bored. He proceeded to say on the phone how much he thinks about our time together and how he wishes he could kidnap me and exact some of our old fantasies. He then goes "what would you do if I kidnapped you and raped you? Would you tell your husband?" I think he's all talk and this is just some masturbation fantasy for him but it also scares me a bit. I told him to stop talking about that stuff and I'm not interested in hearing about his fantasies. He apologized and said he "just can't help himself." He's too successful to risk something criminal and isn't stupid so I think this is all just part of what he says to girls on the phone while he masturbates, but regardless of that I would like to know how you think I should handle this situation? What are the options here? thank you for taking the time to read this long post 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:06 AM Flag
»
I know some of you are going to say "Call the police." But what would I tell them? Me: Hi officer, some guy I used to date said pervy things to me on the phone. Officer: Why did you pick up the phone? Me: Because I'm a dumbass and I'm lonely and bored. Him: Maybe just don't answer him and he will stop calling. This isn't that hard. Stop being stupid. Me: Okay, good talk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:07 AM Flag
»
I'm with the officer. You don't have anything to worry about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:08 AM Flag
»
I guess I am paranoid from watching crime shows like Law and Order: SVU where they always talk about how rapists "escalate" in their behavior. I really can't picture him being so stupid as to do something blatantly illegal. He was talking about pulling up in a white van and using cloroform to knock me out and then kidnapping me and raping me. This just doesn't seem like something that could be done without police knowing since there would be people witnessing this. Seems to me like part of his dark fucked up fantasy life that he likes to speak aloud and he thinks I'm a "safe" person to talk about this with since at one point in time a long time ago I expressed interested in this stuff. So you think it's just masturbation talk and I have nothing to worry about? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:12 AM Flag
»
Yes just talk. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:24 AM Flag
»
Also if I report this, it's going to get back to the officer that I used to have a relationship with this guy. The guy has plenty of nude pics of me from when I was younger and dumber. I don't really want to "agitate" him and provoke him doing something stupid since he has a lot of emotional issues and could possibly make my life difficult if he put the pictures online. I would rather just slow fade this guy. I know it was my fault for picking up the phone in the first place. If I never picked up, he would probably never call. But I'm asking if there something else I can do here besides the options of calling the police or just ignoring him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:09 AM Flag
»
ruin the illusion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:12 AM Flag
»
How do I do that? I've already told him I'm not into that stuff anymore and I have no interest in cheating on DH and I have no interest in talking about any of this stuff anymore. He then painted hypotheticals like "well what if your DH died and you were lonely and missed me?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:13 AM Flag
»
It's just fantasy talk. Don't let him use you like that. Gross. You're married. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:25 AM Flag
»
Thank you, glad to know you guys think I don't need to be worried. And you're right that he is using me. I don't know why I picked up the phone. I have chronically low self esteem and need to work on building confidence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:27 AM Flag
»
I understand this, OP, me too -- block him and don't engage anymore. He's looking for someone to engage with his sick fantasy. I had a guy like this. Do good things for yourself and work on your self esteem. Hugs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 05:57 AM Flag
»
Ignore. He won't do anything. Don't pick up again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:13 AM Flag
»
THIS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:09 AM Flag
»
Don't report it. Just block his number. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:14 AM Flag
»
This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:15 AM Flag
»
This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:17 AM Flag
»
THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:25 AM Flag
»
Stop access. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:15 AM Flag
»
Say something to really turn him off and back to reality. "Hey John, I'm so glad you called, I've been having such a bad time lately. I thought I was having this recurring yeast infection, but it turns out that it is a more serious uterine problem, and now I'll have to have a hysterectomy. It really sucks getting old." Then block the number [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:26 AM Flag
»
LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:34 AM Flag
»
stop making trouble happen. Don't answer the phone again and cut off all contact. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:09 AM Flag
»
Just say I LOVE YOU!!! I want to divorce x husband with x kids and be your responsibility and then start talking about Sally's school project. He will never call you again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:34 AM Flag
»
THIS! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:41 AM Flag
»
Don't answer. Ever. Block him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:36 AM Flag
»
Don't answer. Ever. Block him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:36 AM Flag
»
Send him an email or Facebook message or something to be very clear and direct. "John, you really scared me the other day when you said you would kidnap and rape me. I know you were most likely not serious, but please don't call me again." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:05 AM Flag
[ - ] If you drink 2 glasses of wine versus none do you think you feel/look differently the next day? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:04 AM Flag
»
Nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:07 AM Flag
»
Yup [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:25 AM Flag
»
I do. Skin looks better. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 05:58 AM Flag
»
And I feel better. But am very sensitive to alchohol now that I'm older. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 06:00 AM Flag
[ - ] Name poll: Felicienne. It's a family name. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:04 AM Flag
»
I think it is beautiful. I know a few girls and women named Felicitas and they go by Feli, would you use Feli as a nickname? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:06 AM Flag
»
I'm not sure. Maybe fee or Fifi? It's my great great grandmothers name. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:08 AM Flag
»
Fellatio [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:43 AM Flag
»
I love it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 05:01 AM Flag
[ - ] I would love to go back to work part-time or at a flexible company when my youngest goes to K but feel negative about the possibilities. I've spent time in various industries and have an MBA (Columbia) but chose to stay home (and happy I did) while my kids are little. Have 6 yr old twins in first grade and an almost 3 yr old. Husband is in finance but sales and travels 3-4 nights a week otherwise in manhattan, we live in westchester area. I am busy enough now not to want to go back but when my youngest is in K I would love to - but flexible since my husband might as well Not be accessible during the week. Think this might be possible and any advice? Thanks. And do t say I shouldn't have left the workforce. I would rather have had this time with them and never find a job again versus have stayed working. Thanks! 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:01 AM Flag
»
Can you do consulting? Just take on a few clients! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:06 AM Flag
»
I don't have a specialty in any one industry though. Worked at a bunch of various startups before having kids. In media and then real estate development before grad school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:11 AM Flag
»
Yea, you do not need the money and do not seem like someone I would want as an employee (and btw, I have my own small company WAH and hire as required) and you are not someone who would want abroad in the sense that you do not have great, fresh skills PLUS are all abutt what YOU need les about what anyone else needs. So...good for you if you are happy, would say keep pleasing DH rather than anything else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:08 AM Flag
»
What do you mean pleasing DH? And we could definitely use the money but we can get by without it. I like being busy and using my skills- I am currently treasurer of my sons private preschool so manage all the tuition and donation payments. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:13 AM Flag
»
OR: not trying to be nasty, but absolutely no employer on the planet cares that you ar e'busy enough'' but are so happy with your choice. They want to know what YOU can bring to THEIR party and so don't care about your kids.Harsh I know, but better hear it from me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:16 AM Flag
»
^^and FWIW, any position related to a kid's preschool is worth um, NOTHING [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:17 AM Flag
»
Monetarily it is not but it shows some motivation. She probably has to be organized and somewhat motivated (to take on more than she has to). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:22 AM Flag
»
Yeah that's what I figured. If my kid is sick and my husband is away and can't cover they wouldn't really care unless it's a get your work done while you can and Face time at office is not important. I wouldn't take on a job unless I could do it 100% but it would have to be somewhat done on my terms I.e finish it up at home after they go to bed which I am ok with but lots of controlling employers are not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:19 AM Flag
»
OR: I understand where you are coming from, but that is why I had my DC in my 30 s after amassing a lot of professional credibility.If you had 3 kid without doing the same yo are gong to have different choice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:24 AM Flag
»
Yes I agree - which is why I am in this conundrum. I don't expect to have the same choices as you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:26 AM Flag
»
OR: I am seriously not trying to be negative and maybe 50 years from now will envy you for having 3 kids while I have 1 or 2. but if you are a grown up, you have to see that you are not positioning yourself as a a motivated employee. You are looking for a satisfying, professional position while your main focus is with your family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:30 AM Flag
»
Yes. My family will always come first. That doesn't mean I don't know how to balance my professional and personal lives so that I am still successful in my job. But I imagine I will never be as available as most women employees with no kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:33 AM Flag
»
OR: My family also comes first by a 1000. Women who take a decade off do not have a monopoly oh that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:35 AM Flag
»
^^but when selling yourself to someone else (assuming your do not having the skills/desire to be our on you own) have to position yourself differently [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:37 AM Flag
»
op- agree completely! Of course! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:45 AM Flag
»
OR; so think about what you want (and not being an employee is an acceptable choice) and figure out how to position yourself. Ideally an employer cares about the whole you, but at an interview 99.9% only care about what you can do for them. If you want to go back, concentrate on that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:54 AM Flag
»
No answers, but same exact situation, similar age kids and background. No regrets either, at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:20 AM Flag
»
Curious - how old are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:27 AM Flag
»
38. I had cancer very early and didn't expect to be able to conceive naturally (that is what i was told anyway). But we tried on our own. Finally had twins through IVF at 32. We were happy with 2 but had a surprise pregnancy almost 3 years ago. We feel so fortunate now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:29 AM Flag
»
If you think you want to go back to work part time in a few years, start taking on consulting projects now. Regardless of how scattered your work was before, you can find someone willing to let you work for free on a project basis. Aim to do 5-6 projects a year between now and then. In 2 years' time, you'll have built up some contacts and have a much better sense of what kind of work might be out there for you. Just offer your services free of charge to non-profits, startups and small businesses within your network [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:52 AM Flag
[ - ] Something I find interesting - there's a couple who live in our building (in the West Village) where the DH grew up in some rural area out west, and it became known that he would be going bird-hunting in Pennsylvania soon. Rather than being upset or put-off by this, they've gotten offers for quite a bit of money from other residents to bring back fresh birds for them. My DH also grew up hunting, but hasn't done it for a while. Should I encourage him to get back in the habit? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:01 AM Flag
»
No. Disgusting [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:04 AM Flag
»
Maybe in the abstract, but when people actually have the chance to get fresh, organic, hormone-free locationally-sourced meat, apparently they will pay a premium for it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:07 AM Flag
»
Where do you think your food comes from? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:38 AM Flag
»
I am from an area with a lot of hunting and my dad was big in to hunting. Such a $$$ waste IMO. Gear, always gear. Guns and gear. It is a hobby sport that is a money pit. Also all the time away. I chose a husband who doesn't hunt because I didn't want someone always hunting on the weekends, leaving me to take care of everything on my own. Blech. So NO, I would not encourage it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:09 AM Flag
»
Do you need the money? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Wdyt? My friend and I are both early 30s. She wants to date someone wild and fun and crazy. I'm looking for father material for my future dcs. I have a boyfriend I like but I don't think our time frame will work out. He's the same age as me and doesn't seem ready to settle. There's another guy who likes me. He's older, nice but boring and wealthy. He also has an eye twitch. If you were early 30s would you settle for the nice boring guy? Or wait it out with current bf/look for someone new? 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:55 AM Flag
»
Never settle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:59 AM Flag
»
+1. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:00 AM Flag
»
Oh please...everyone settles when it comes to dating.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:43 AM Flag
»
-1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:49 AM Flag
»
Ditch both of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:59 AM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:49 AM Flag
»
too young to settle. u got lots and lots of years yet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:01 AM Flag
»
I can't imagine waiting past 35 to have a baby. How much time do I give current boyfriend? I haven't lied or been shy about my objectives and time frame with him. But he likes the sex so I can see him selfishly using me even though he has no intention of marrying me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:03 AM Flag
»
I had my kids at 40 and 42. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:15 AM Flag
»
Awesome. Hope I'm that lucky if I need the time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:17 AM Flag
»
You were lucky! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:35 AM Flag
»
Yes. Men do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:26 AM Flag
»
Even if she wants kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:03 AM Flag
»
I'd at least go on a date with the older guy after moving on from the boyfriend... how do you know he's boring? As for the eye twitch... whatever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:04 AM Flag
»
I actually met him two days before I met current boyfriend. He's friend of a friend. We've hung out a few times. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:09 AM Flag
»
Current boyfriend was inseparable in the beginning. Dates every other day. Now it's more like once a week but we are both busy with work. I feel like we are losing our mojo but he has been trying and our schedules have really conflicted this month. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:10 AM Flag
»
How much older is the older guy? If he's under 40 and makes you laugh/has interesting things to say/is good at his job/something else NOT boring... then go out with him once and see what happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:34 AM Flag
»
38 I believe [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:45 AM Flag
»
Thats how old DH was when I met him. I was 31/32 at the time and in a similar situation as OP- except my current BF at the time was acting like a jerk so we kept breaking up for short periods of time, and DH came along and he seemed a lot more boring but much more stable than the BF. After the next big fight w BF, i went out w DH and eventually BF ignored me and a year later DH proposed and its been great ever since (its been 10 yrs now). My vote goes to eye twitch man. Its what is inside that counts! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:41 AM Flag
»
Alright. I'll have to see if he's still available. See if my friend can plan a little gathering and I'll say I'm single. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:49 AM Flag
»
You sound like me. My dating life is always "hot stupid guy or boring smart guy with a weird face." I'm 32 and it sucks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:35 AM Flag
»
I'd probably be ok with an arranged marriage at this point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:46 AM Flag
»
I gave the older guy a chance. We're married now, best friends, 2 beautiful kids, never looked back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:42 AM Flag
»
Are you bored? Did he get more interesting? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:50 AM Flag
»
Not in general, since I'm the amusing one in the family. He got more familiar, but I wouldn't call that a bad thing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 12:04 PM Flag
»
Guy: Is the eye-twitch a plus or a minus for you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 11:39 AM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone know anything about HoHoKus NJ? My little sister and her family just moved out of the city there because her husband grew up there and has strong ties. We grew up in NYC and are pretty much ignorant about the suburbs. She has a great attitude and was excited for the change since she is pregnant with baby #3 but is still a little nervous about the unknown :) 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:54 AM Flag
»
I love the name. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:06 AM Flag
»
Being a history buff, the only thing I know about HoHoKus is that Aaron Burr and Theodosia Provost were married there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:06 AM Flag
»
It's good her husband has strong ties. Many of these smaller NJ towns are hard to break into without that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:21 AM Flag
»
They've changed high schools a couple of times. I would want to know when the current con tract expires [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:30 AM Flag
»
One of my best friends grew up there. Affluent, white community. Small town feel. For people that grew up in Bergen County, it's a really nice town to aspire to move to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:31 AM Flag
»
I know a big bitch there. Armenian. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:39 AM Flag
»
What does her last name start with so I can tell my sis to avoid her haha. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:47 AM Flag
»
H [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 11:48 AM Flag
»
Always look at the education Foundation pictures before you move to a town http://www.bcthemag.com/bc_social/ho-ho-kus-education-foundation-2/ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 11:51 AM Flag
»
Of she already moved. Well fyi for others. ^^^ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 11:52 AM Flag
»
It is a wonderful warm town with a great community. I would move there if we ever left the city. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:11 AM Flag
[ - ] Would you sell a 3 bedroom apartment on Park and move to a really big house in Malibu if you could work remotely? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:54 AM Flag
»
Not sure I would raise kids in Malibu. Are there kids? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:55 AM Flag
»
Definitely not. Love living in NYC. And Malibu go visit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:03 AM Flag
»
In a heart beat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:06 AM Flag
»
Sounds better than it is. CA is a different animal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:21 AM Flag
»
Maybe. Living on Park does not appeal to me, but I do like Malibu. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:24 AM Flag
»
No. Then I'd have to live in CA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:32 AM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:50 AM Flag
»
PCH traffic is really bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:39 AM Flag
»
Can I pick Santa Barbara over Malibu? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:14 AM Flag
»
Yup! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:53 AM Flag
»
Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:56 AM Flag
»
No way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:50 AM Flag
»
Wouldn't want an apartment on Park, but would love to live in Malibu (used to near there). Probably wouldn't just b/c of rising oceans. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:55 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you admit it when you are wrong? I fly off the handle instantly with DH. Much later I realize I was wrong; hence the severe reaction. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:54 AM Flag
»
Yes all the time. And I apologize as soon as I realize. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:57 AM Flag
»
Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:00 AM Flag
»
+1. ALWAYS stop and assume you are wrong."Hmm. Really? I don't think so, but let me see." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 12:51 PM Flag
»
I try to [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:54 AM Flag
»
Why wouldn't you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:51 AM Flag
[ - ] A close family member is in crisis and her son has a rare form of Leukemia. She is doing terribly and refusing any form of help. At any suggestion of finding a suppprt group or closed Facebook group she walks away and says she does not want to talk about it. She really needs help. Any suggestions? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:53 AM Flag
»
Myob [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:54 AM Flag
»
mind your own beeswax [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:59 AM Flag
»
Just drop off food, ask her husband what chores could be done or help w silblings if any. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:01 AM Flag
»
Yes. She is understandably freaked. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:27 AM Flag
»
Time to drop off lasagna [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:07 AM Flag
»
Are you the person who posted a few nights ago when awaiting the test results? Regardless, I am sorry your family is going through this. Hugs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:11 AM Flag
»
My suggestion is to gather close family and friends and support her. I had cancer as a kid and support groups did not work for me. They made me more sad as people in my group died. My family was an incredible support. Stop trying to tell her what she needs and just do what she needs. There is no magic answer for a child with leukemia. It is scary and it sucks and no therapist will change that. She can't talk about it right now so listen to her. When she is ready, she will. Give her a break [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:14 AM Flag
»
STFU [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 04:51 AM Flag
»
Let her be. Not everyone handles crises in the same way, and she sounds like she is simply different than you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Psychic mom? Will I get dinner tonight? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:52 AM Flag
»
You mean from a man on a date? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:57 AM Flag
»
Nope. Just will the restaurant in my hotel be open when I get there. Do you see vending machine snacks in my future at the very least? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:01 AM Flag
»
Oh haha. Call them and ask what time they're serving till. I did see you eating in bed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:10 AM Flag
»
Haha I'm almost there. Hoping for at least bar food. Some chicken nuggets. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:13 AM Flag
[ - ] I often think men are way more moody than women. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:44 AM Flag
»
They are. They also talk more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:47 AM Flag
»
Only whiny Jewish men. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:49 AM Flag
»
No. All men. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:17 AM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:49 AM Flag
»
This. And interrupt more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:50 AM Flag
»
+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:28 AM Flag
»
They don't talk more. Look it up. This has been researched. But maybe women make up statistics more? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:40 AM Flag
»
LOL! I have to admit there is some truth to this!! All my ex bfs who were Jewish acted like Ben Stiller..whereas non Jew ex bfs were more reticent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 03:45 AM Flag
»
I think my dh would be to differ. He thinks he's a brick wall when it comes to emotions [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:49 AM Flag
»
Would you agree with that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:50 AM Flag
»
Np. DH is stoic. I don't like it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:55 AM Flag
»
oh hell yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:02 AM Flag
»
Right?! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:28 AM Flag
»
No. Not true and you know it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:36 AM Flag
»
Women hold grudges WAAAAY longer and cry about NOTHING. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:36 AM Flag
[ - ] Do you ever get over being cheated on by your husband? I am 5 months in, we are divorcing and I still cry myself to sleep every night because I can’t believe the seemingly good person I was with for 19 years would do this. Not only to me but to our kids, he has lied to them so many times with no remorse. It just blows my mind how awful people can be. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:44 AM Flag
»
I'm sorry. I've been there. You will get through this and be stronger on the other side. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:45 AM Flag
»
I'm sorry. Eventually it will get better. I hope you find a new normal and happiness. Find a small treat for yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:47 AM Flag
»
He was just weak, looking to feel good. Not to hurt you or kids specifically [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:50 AM Flag
»
This. He wasn't thinking of you guys at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 01:52 AM Flag
»
Men are aelf-centered. There have been studies of men in poor countries. If you give the man financial aid he will spend it on himself, usually drugs and alcohol. If you give the woman money ahe will spend it on her children. Men in these countries eat first and give their wives and daughters scraps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:31 AM Flag
»
Who wanted the divorce?im sorry, sounds hard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:02 AM Flag
»
I'm sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 09.24.17, 02:28 AM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions