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[ - ] I just ordered Marie Kondo's book. Hoping it helps me declutter and get organized. Anyone else read it? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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I read the first half then lost steam. I got through all my clothes- got rid of 3 contractor size trash bags full and consigned a lot of them. But haven't tackled any of the rest of the house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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did you find her method helpful/anything out of the ordinary? I feel like its like losing weight, you "know" what to do but its hard to actually do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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Yes, it was a different way of looking at it and an easy read. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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I posted below - I found it to be very helpful. Also helpful in NOT buying a ton of crap to fill in the spaces. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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me tooooo! I really want to do my kitchen next [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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I've read a whole stack of books on how to declutter and sadly they are in a stack amongst my clutter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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lol you are me! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:40 PM Flag
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It seems like a simple concept. Keep things that you only really love. No need to buy a whole book. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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i did my whole apartment to prepare for sale. it was so freaking liberating. it worked great. idon't miss anything I threw out and will do it again to a lesser degree aas we pack to move. I gave away so much stuff - the whole apartment feels "lighter" and I feel like i am in an elegant show room now - clothes are hung without being shoved. Socks are, gasp, in the sock drawer. All 5 pairs. etc. it is awesome. I even emptied the spice cabinent down to zero. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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My book arrives tomorrow, cant wait :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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my problem is that i am happy to declutter my stuff but the people i live with, not so much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:11 PM Flag
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Yeah, I wait till DH is away on biz. He is a hoarder [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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Is she the "does it bring you joy?" person? I haven't fully understood that one. There are plenty of utterly utilitarian things that I can't say bring me "joy," but I guess the question is, am I happy if I have a flower pot when I choose to plant flowers, or am I happier having to go to Target and buy one? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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right? does the vacuum give me joy? no, but it cleans the apartment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:41 PM Flag
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NP THe concept is that if the vacuum helps you in your life (utility) that is a type of "joy" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 05:18 PM Flag
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I read half of it and my room / master closet , youngest DC's room and bathroom so different now. Organized, clean, no clutter at all . Still have to Finish the book and the rest of the house [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:15 PM Flag
[ - ] Got any grapes? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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Not me personally, but there appears to be a lot of sour ones here this morning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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I eat grapes every day. My go-to snack. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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Love grapes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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hey duck, go away! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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THIS! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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My kids loved this for about 2 weeks straight. And he waddled away ... waddle, waddle ... till the very next day ... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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Is what He said to the man running the store... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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someone got bitten by a hidden black widow spider in her grape bag. watch out! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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Hazz grapz. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:16 PM Flag
[ - ] Had a terrible childhood, and having a pretty great adulthood. Unfortunately, the two don't really balance out :-/ 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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I feel you. It doesn't matter how great it gets- the past is always there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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Yep. And when you try to talk about the past, people smile and say, "Just look how great things turned out." Ugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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What happened? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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Physical abuse, divorce, poverty, parental substance abuse, step-parent mental health issues. I could go on and on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:11 PM Flag
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I had a bad childhood as well, whenever I have a nightmare, it's centered on the house I grew up in. But I realize that it's made me the person that I am - I'm tougher, more focused and appreciate the things I have more than I would have, had my childhood been better. I bet you are the same. Which, in my book, is a pretty great thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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Am certainly tough and focused -- also very hard to connect with others, lots of bad dreams/intrusive thoughts/anger. Been doing therapy for a long time, and it helps, but doesn't make the past go away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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When you remember it in your mind and tell yourself it wasn't so bad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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Me too. I love my life now and try not to think I talk about negative things in the past [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:16 PM Flag
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me three. i have tons of empathy and love for others and a special place in my heart for children who i can tell are growing up like me. but i have moved on and keep my eyes focused on the future. 'forget the thorns when you see the stars'. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 05:37 PM Flag
[ - ] More former students report sexual abuse at Horace Mann School 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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crazy that people still die to go here. what a sick thing the culture of this school. clearly something is okay. why do people feel comfortable sending their kids here? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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this! OMG, screw HM [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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Because it was 20-50 years ago and those people are no longer there and it's an excellent school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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I just don't like a culture that covers things up and lies until they can't lie any longer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:29 PM Flag
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this is the bigger issue. of course all the stuff happened a while ago. but the cover up was the worst. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:57 PM Flag
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Then cross off BRONX SCI too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 05:00 PM Flag
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and brooklyn tech [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 05:05 PM Flag
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and Stuy, of course. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 05:06 PM Flag
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Lightning not striking twice? I'd say its pretty safe right now [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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are they going to cover up the next issue that comes up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:57 PM Flag
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Maybe - same with every institution [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 05:00 PM Flag
[ - ] So annoying when people stare at you. Ugh please look away. Stop making me feel self conscious 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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people only make you feel how you let them. what the issue? why do you have low self esteem? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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Stare back and flash those pearly whites. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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you sound fat [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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No I am not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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You sound like a c u n t [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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at least a lean one ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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But a miserable one, who trolls UB just to make nasty comments ;) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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you should be this judgy with the junk that put into in your mouth everyday, it would be way more productive, dear :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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Ouch [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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Did you forget your noon does of your meds again? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:19 PM Flag
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Mean but lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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NP- how is it funny when OP is not fat? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:25 PM Flag
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It isn't - it's one crazy troll responding to herself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:38 PM Flag
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You're thin and still unhappy. No one envies miserable people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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now fat = happy? welcome to happy america! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:17 PM Flag
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You missed the point. The point is that many of you think if you are thin that everything is good. Getting fat is the worst thing in the world to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:34 PM Flag
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There are lots of happy thin people. You just aren't one. Good luck with whatever your problems are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:35 PM Flag
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I hear ya. Im in Asia and people stare in a not so subtle way. For example when the bathroom cleaner is in the bathroom, she stops what she is doing and watches me fix my makeup. I feel so strange [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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talk to her. "hi, do you like make up?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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"Hi, you missed a spot." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:35 PM Flag
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are you asian? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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what are you wearing? The deli girl ALWAYS wears very low cut shirts and shows SO much cleavage so I make sure to actually stare intensely every morning, maybe she will change her shirt [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:10 PM Flag
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dont like you [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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sorry, she needs to cover up, at least a little bit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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Yeah, maybe she'll take it off entirely. You're an ass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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WTF? Why do you care what the woman who works at the deli wears?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:19 PM Flag
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i don't but this one in particular is outrageous, also has 5 inch nails. No one can hand her the cash or cc without staring, she loves it. dh and I always joke about it. Her boobs are not even actual boobs, just there because she is overweight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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People stare at me too: are you wearing or doing anything unusual when this happens? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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I'm used to it--mixed race family--but it's still annoying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:39 PM Flag
[ - ] DH company unexpectedly went public and his "company shares" we always had considered to be worthless are now coverting into company stock on a rolling basis, plus he is getting more stock quarterly as a bonus. It's still vesting on a rolling basis but we already have a good chunk that has vested. How do we decide how much to hold on to and how much to sell and switch to other funds? It's fun right now to have this big amount but practically speaking it seems like a bad idea to have a lot of stock AND DH job be tied to the success of the same company. Anyone BTDT? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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You figure out how exposed you are comfortable being to the sector/company and then sell down to that point. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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Its hard to judge because we didn't have any of this stock 6 months ago. It's like it appeared out of thin air. I was thinking we should keep 1/3 and sell the rest? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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hard to know without more details about your other investments etc. but yeah - 1/2 or a 1/3 sounds okay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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we have appx $415k in investments -- vast majority is retirement (401k etc), some 529, and as of right now his company stock is really our only general non-retirement investments. We sold off our non-retirement investments for down payment and renovations on our house and are just now starting to build back up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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You're right it is a bad idea. Sell a good portion of it and invest it in a different stock. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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+1 signed former lehman employee [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 05:21 PM Flag
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do not keep all of your eggs in the same basket, i would keep at most a third. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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thanks that's what I was thinking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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for some inspiration/convincing watch the enron movie [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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To the extent possible, use DH's knowledge of what is going on at the company to time the stock for sale. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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As of right now there are limited trading windows [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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I dont mean by week- figure out if some opportunity like a product cycle peaks in 6 months and the co. would have trouble replacing it with the next thing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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You gain wealth through concentration, you keep wealth through diversification. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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nicely done [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:19 PM Flag
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how big is it relative to the 415k of investments? i think a big factor is what industry is the company in? for example, let's say it's in coca cola (obv not coke but something stable and safe) versus a biotech or internet or tech company. those i would sell a bigger piece of. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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We have about $65k vested stock but not counting future bonuses will vest another $100k at today's value. I'd like to keep $50 of it but maybe we should sell off even more. Company falls in the latter category. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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there can be different tax implications of selling now vs waiting a year [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:38 PM Flag
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And there can be different return implications whether the stock goes up or down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:39 PM Flag
[ - ] It's so cute when parents don't realize that their kids are putting on an act in front of them and their teachers. I can't tell you how many kids I know who are just the perfect little angels in class, sit there quietly and don't make a peep until the teacher turns their back and they hurl a pencil at some other kid. Or how they play nicely and politely with their friends while keeping an eye to see if mommy is looking, then push the other kid down in the mud as soon as she steps away. I seriously know probably 8 of these kids, and it always makes me laugh that their parents are so oblivious. These are the kids who will be drinking their dad's vodka at age 12 in water bottles but who just lie to everyone's face and blame it on the neighbor kid when they get caught. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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csb [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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Sounds like every kid. Do you think you are special or something? Super vision? Expert timing? What? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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No, that's not every kid. Many kids are well behaved and pretty awesome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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This. OP is nuts if she thinks her little monster is a norm. She is breeding a serial killer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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Animals have a lot of sneaky tactics too. It's in the wiring. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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Sneaky is not the same as evil [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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You are nuts. Very few kids have sadistic tendencies like secretly hurling pencils into other kids or pushing other kids. This is not normal. Your kid needs to be watched and evaluated if this is the way he behaves. Normal kid behavior is to talk to your friends when the teacher is not watching, not physically hurting your friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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I know so many of them. Good little boys who already at age 9 know how to put on a show for the grownups. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:50 PM Flag
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You are crazy. You really think that "good little boys" have sadistic tendencies and look for every opportunity to physically hurt somebody? There are very few boys like that and they are not the norm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 05:01 PM Flag
[ - ] What is the going rate for a middle school tutor ? Is one on one or a tutoring center better ? Any recommendations for Brooklyn or Manhattan ? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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What subject? Remedial or test prep? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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SHSAT [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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Ah. Good luck!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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100.00 an hour [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Almost 9 yo started to smell and needs deodorant. Is it too early? What is the safest deodorant on the market? Toms? 42 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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no, not 9. i can't even begin to think about my ds needing a deodorant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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op: she is a girl, I think girls start earlier than boys. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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could be her period [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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Does not work [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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Of course it does! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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Not for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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this. Tom's does not really work. I tend to sweat more around my period so I wear arm and hammer but all antiperspirants are very unhealthy and I avoid as much as possible, especially if I just shaved [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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+1 Toms actually seemed to magnify the smell and made it worse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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this is what people who use it always say. The others beg to differ :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:55 PM Flag
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my 8 year old gets stinky already too... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:50 PM Flag
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What are your safety concerns? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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np: aluminum => cancer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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chemicals, some deodorants are linked to breast cancer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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Isn't that a myth? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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sure, it's a myth. keep giving Procter & Gamble your money, I'm sure they have your welfare at heart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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Do you haven't like I can read? One below debunks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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Have links? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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yes WebMD, the authority on cancer research. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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Waiting for your proof [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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American cancer society ok for you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:24 PM Flag
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ILY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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oops many ILY for above post [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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ILY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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actually, look at the package. It says not to use if you have kidney problems, can cause kidney failure. This is actually written on ALL antiperspirants. Can't be good [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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it can't be good if you have kidney problems. if you don't, your body can handle it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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i don't buy this. Why is it bad if one has kidney problems to begin with? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:23 PM Flag
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what do you think kidney problems means? it means your body is not functioning normally and things that a normal body can handle, yours can't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:39 PM Flag
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Wetting a crystal is the safest. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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How does this work? Any crystal? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:25 PM Flag
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I prefer to just pray to the goddess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 05:34 PM Flag
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I'm going to try crystal deodorant again. I don't sweat that much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 05:45 PM Flag
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My 6 yo has BO (really). She uses Tom's. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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get back to us when she's 12 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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TOMs deodorant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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Try Sleeveless tops rather than t-shirts... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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Same with my 9 yo DD. We picked out some nice smelling stuff together. She forgets to use it but we are taking baby steps, not making a big deal out of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:31 PM Flag
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9 isn't too early at all. Pretty normal, actually. Start with Toms and see how it works for your kid. Didn't do enough for mine and she eventually had to switch to real antiperspirant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 05:33 PM Flag
[ - ] WHAT AM I MISSING?: Everyone says to re-finance your mortgage to save money. Rates are low saving people hundreds a month. But that means I gotta start my 30 years all over again unless I get a 15-year (which means I have to shell out more per month). What am I missing? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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Ultimately, you'll be paying less interest to the bank on your loan. Seems like a winner to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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it depends on how much the fees are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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We refinanced and the fees for doing so were essentially made back in the first few months. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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like i said, it depends on the fees. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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And like I said, we were able to make back those fees in a short period of time. Over the long term, I can't imagine that the fees would be so great as to trump the interest owed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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you realize some people have lower interest rates and the bank could have higher fees? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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Um... the 'savings' part? The total interest being paid over 30 years.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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You can always pay extra [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:38 PM Flag
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We did this and pay an extra amount every month designated toward the principal. So even though we restarted the 30 years, we will pay it off somewhat sooner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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i don't know much about mortgages but can't you take out the new one in the amount you owe to the bank now? meaning it'll be 30 years but you won't be taking on more debt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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I'm wondering this too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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of course [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:39 PM Flag
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a mortgage broker can help you figure out your break even number for if it is worth it or not, yes, you start your 30 years over but you save money over the life of the loan. usually it take at least 1% decrease to make it worthwhile. What is your current rate? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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These are the important questions. There are a lot of calculators online that you can plug a few numbers into and quickly get a sense of how much you would save. As others have noted, you have to factor in the closing/refinancing costs. It can take quite a while to recover those. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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Exactly, it depends on your current rate and what you can get. We refinanced two years ago and went from a 6.25% interest 30 year loan, to a 3.25% interest 15 year loan, and our payments are still less (a little) with the 15 year. another option, which has been mentioned, is to get the lower rate, still do 30 years so you have flexibility on your monthly payment, but calculate what your monthly payments would be if amortized over 15 years, and the months you want to, pay that much extra on your principal balance, which will result in you paying off much earlier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:38 PM Flag
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You're missing a brain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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You have to compare how much it costs to refinance with how long it would take you to make up that money with the lower rate. We are only gojng to be in our place 1-2 more yrs so it doesn't make sense for us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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OP: thank you. This is helpful to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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OP you need to do your homework before making financial decisions. All the posters are telling you things you should know off the top of your head. No rocket science here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:40 PM Flag
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When you start over you pay mostly interests the first couple of years, not the principal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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if you want to keep it at the same amount of time -- say you have 24 years left, just make extra payments on the principal somewhere in between your original monthly payment in aggregate for the year and your new one. You'll be done sooner. Most don't have penalties for this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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Last time I was able to refi a 30 to a 15 for slightly lower payment. Shaved about 10 years off and saved $$ each month [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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You can refi for whatever # of years works for you. If you go with 30, you can always make additional payments to principle to reduce your overall duration. I am refinancing at 30 years right now, after 6 years in. I reviewed the benefits both ways and this works best for me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:12 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone hear from the DOE about KG G&T placements? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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Doesn't seem like it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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This board will light up when placements go out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have a bean bag? I was given an Ethan Allen bean bag and it has a rather strong chemical smell. I have w asked the cover, put it outside in the sun all day - but it's still there. Are these toxic? It wasn't cheap. TIA 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:42 PM Flag
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I never day this...But, NOKD! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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might take up to a week or two. it'll be ok, though. just leave out or in the garage depending on the time of day/your location. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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It was already a year old when we got it. It was at relatives house for dc - and dc wanted it so we brought it home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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I'd get rid of it pronto. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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We are, but I wondered if anyone k ew of problems with EA. couldn't find anything online and thought UB moms would be all over it. Thanks! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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wow. i'm surprised. not sure what to do. did she have it in a bag or was it used? if used, then maybe it'll be couple more years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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No, it was new - and sitting in a huge house and only used when dc came over - but out in the open. In our tiny apt it is bad - just never noticed in house. I'm thinking of buying refill pellets... DC LOVES it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 05:22 PM Flag
[ - ] I was recently hired by a company that purchases Purchase Orders and does Factoring. They have suggested that I cold call Bank loan officers. I think that contacted the customer directly would be most productive. Any suggestions on how to find people who have purchase orders to fill, but need the money to fill them? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:38 PM Flag
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You should get involved with the trade groups - they are very active. Lots of dinners, happy hours, golf tournaments, etc. My dad is a factor and that's where he gets most of his business. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:41 PM Flag
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and why did they hire you if you don't know who to call. This is called trade finance. do some google searches and you will figure out why they are telling you to call the banks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:44 PM Flag
[ - ] I grew up with an eating disorder. What's the deal with all the fat shaming? So someone looks less attractive being fat. Big deal. What is that to the people that judge them? Do you fat shamers understand how you contribute to girls dying of anorexia and bulimia? 40 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:37 PM Flag
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no, anorexica die because they are attention whores. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:38 PM Flag
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wow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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stop being stupid. they're constantly wearing midriff baring crap and skinny jeans at 60- lbs. they don't get it that they're going to be dead. it's more important to be an attention whore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:50 PM Flag
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this is partially true. anorexics don't get enough nutrients to support healthy brain function and they reduce to children, mentally. I have known only a few, but each was obsessed with getting attention and could only talk about themselves. And very very stupid about the simplest things. Like could not figure 50% of $10. someone needs to invent a calorie-free brain supplement for these chicks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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At least anorexics are smarter than bulemics. What is the point of spending time and money on food that you are immediately going to throw up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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the enjoyment of having it on your taste buds, you silly! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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do you think that was diminished brain function from the starvation or are they anorexics b/c they are stupid? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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Girls obsessed with weight are stupid. Get a brain and learn something in life. So tired of these manufactured problems and self-obsession. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:39 PM Flag
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I agree it is stupid to be focusing on weight over brains. But everyone who engages in fat shaming indirectly can contribute to eating disorders. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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Perhaps, but I always think of people obsessed with weight, fashion, shoes, handbags, etc. as dullards and couldn't care any more about what they think than I do listening to someone talk about a fantasy football league. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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That's fair. Growing up what were your interests in? There are so many girls at private schools that are obsessed with the lollipop look. Even the smartest girls at ivies can't escape from running into it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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I loved sports, music and books. I'm sorry to hear so many girls get caught up into this. Seems like such a waste of time and since it usually happens to girls, you think they would notice that and see they're only holding themselves back. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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you sound fat [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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actually, you sound fat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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I disagree with the premise that fat shaming causes eating disorders. Eating disorders are rooted in personal control more than external factors. While fat shaming may trigger these control issues, it is not the underlying cause. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:42 PM Flag
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OP: For me personally I was obsessed with becoming thin. I say the popular girls around me and thought I would fit in and have a boyfriend if I lost a bunch of weight. It's odd to say it was only about control. after I became thin it became more about control and not losing the results but it was started by not wanting to be the fat loser girl. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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But, not wanting to be the "fat loser girl" is a control issue. You are taking control of your situation (even if it is extreme). I've had an eating disorder (which flairs up about every ten years for the last 30 years). I was always a thin person. It was certainly a control situation for me because outwardly I didn't need to lose weight. I know there are many others like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:50 PM Flag
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So it's only an issue if it goes to the extreme. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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Forget it. You're mischaracterizing my statement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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I'm just trying to understand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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Almost all of it is people who are naturally skinny who think that since they don't have to really make many sacrifices that everyone else could achieve the same. It's a way of feeling superior about something that really you don't have any control over. When I see these people who say - oh, you'd be skinny too if you just ate oatmeal for breakfast, then a salad for lunch and a regular dinner it proves that they have no idea what they're talking about. I have to eat no more than one regular meal and one half meal of just a shake or an apple or something in order to be a "normal" weight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:42 PM Flag
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this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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well, they're right. i used to have a bmi of 19. not a whole lot of effort put into it. didn't eat much junk food, though. now i have two kids and we have crap all the time. i need to lose about 15 or maybe more. i blame only myself. if i were single, i think it would be different. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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you genuinely do not believe that people have different metabolisms or set points? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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why did i have a bmi of 19 when i was eating well but 22(? -- can't even bear to actually find out) now that i'm eating like shit? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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Do you not realize that you're making my point? You'll be skinny just by not eating crap. Very few people are that way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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no. we're all like this. i am no different. you and i are the same. i used to eat not-like-crap. maybe you've never eaten not-like-crap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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You can only blame yourself? Look if you have fat genes you are going to have to work harder to lose weight than a person who doesn't have these genes. It is not a level playing field and we live in a car driving all-you-can-eat heaping portion culture where the food is marketed to sell. It doesn't help. You would have an easier time losing weight in Europe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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why did my fat genes only kick in when i started stocking doughnuts in my house and cheetos cheese crunch (the cheeziest!)? of course it would help if i didn't have so much damn food around but i used to eat out even more than i do now. so obviously, no one is making me put food in my mouth except for me. it is my fault and my fault only. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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i think you are missing the point. some people might eat what you ate when you were thin, and still be fatter. some people might eat what you call crap and still be thin. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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no way. you don't eat too much, you're thin. you eat too much, you're not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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i am so tired of people thinking an eating disorder is about being skinny or looking better than others or wanting attention. it is a mental illness and its' roots are much deeper than any of those reasons. it has much more to do with genetics, childhood, and other issues than how a person wants to look. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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np: I agree. I had an eating disorder and I felt worse about myself then than I do now. While on the surface it was about thinking I would look and feel better if I was skinnier, that was not the actual issue. It was much more complicated and took therapy and medication and a lot of work to recover from. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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OP: The fat shaming culture does not help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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Fat shaming is for rich girls. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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OP: I had an eating disorder for a good 2-3 years. I know what it is all about. I wasn't hospitalized but I certainly was going to extremes. I'd raid a fridge and eat thousands of calories and then drink a soda to help vomit it back up. I threw up so much I could make myself vomit with force. I'm telling you it started out of insecurity and low self esteem but it was after idolizing thin models in magazines and wanting to be loved like what I thought a thin person would be loved like. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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So why are mostly girls prone to this mental illness? Doesn't make sense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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I find that some skinny people have no other accomplishments to speak of. So they have to find something to put down so that they feel better about themselves. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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Whenever I meet an anorexic I tell her something that she will misconstrue to mean "you're fat." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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I don't think one necessarily has to do with the other, at least not deep down. Anorexics know they're not fat like the people who get shamed. They just think they're not thin enough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:01 PM Flag
[ - ] Getting my first mammo and breast ultrasound tomorrow. Family history. Freaking out! Also I am going to the one place everybody here told me not to! (Central Park Women's Imaging /west side radiology). still trying to find an excuse to cancel... Any tips? TIA 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:37 PM Flag
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No tips -- I also have a family history and it's smart to be proactive. Stay calm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:38 PM Flag
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It hurts like a bitch. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:40 PM Flag
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It absolutely does not. I agree if you're flat chested it can hurt more but if you're at least somewhat busty it's not a big deal. If you're A cup I think it prob. does feel more uncomfortable but it's not even worth taking an advil or anything, seriously [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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I'm busty and it hurt like hell. They sandwich you boob into the machine and mash the shit out of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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G-cup here. it hurts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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+1 32 F here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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It is actually no big deal. Though your boobs get a little squished and the machines at that place are cold. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:40 PM Flag
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I go there and I like them (as much as you can like painful boob-smashing). GL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:40 PM Flag
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It is nothing to worry about at all. It takes a few minutes and you are done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:41 PM Flag
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op here: thank you! will I get the results on the spot? or can I ask for them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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NO! They are reveiwed and you call in for the results later or they call you. No big deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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usually no, they send it to you unless this is a recall for a problem. they're pretty quick, though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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op here: this is the part I am freaking out about. I am horrible with waiting. literally half hyperventilating right now! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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well, not going means you will never get the result. this way, you will. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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I have had several. It is just a lot of squishing your boobs and holding your breath for a few seconds. I have found it is better to go when you boobs are a bit fuller….then have specific dates in your cycle they want you to do the test so you have to do it then but work within those dates when you might be fuller. I get you have to go tomorrow but in the future do this. Also, just know it is not unusual for them to come back in the room and want a few more pics. That doesn't mean anything bad necessarily ….just might mean that the technician did not get a good angle of the pic and before a radiologist can sign off they have to see it at the right angle. Good luck and stay on top of this. #familyhistorytoo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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Thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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First, the real squeezy part where it is uncomfortable lasts for just a few seconds. So don't worry about that, although it is awkward. But here's my important advice: IT MEANS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING if they make you wait around for forever, and then call you back in to take more pictures. I have a huge family history of BC, so I freak, but they have had to re-take my shots almost every mammogram. It has nothing to do with stuff being wrong, it's just that some breasts are harder to get a nice clear picture of. Do NOT think it means they saw something suspicious; it just means the picture wasn't good. Also, never ever try to interpret the pictures yourself. I saw a circle around something in mine and flipped out and it was nothing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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Thank you. I am not too too concerned about the discomfort! THE WAIT will kill me! especially since it's my first one [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:10 PM Flag
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IMO, and I've had several, it's less unpleasant than a papsmear. It hurts a bit, but it's a very normal kind of hurt, if that makes sense. Also, if you get called back, don't freak out. It's easy to move or have something cause shadowing or anything the radiologist doesn't like. Especially the first few, they are establishing a baseline for what is normal for you. I got called back in after my first one and convinced myself that not only did I have breast cancer, but a rare form based on how quickly they wanted me back in. LOL. Nope, I just moved during the first one, had the one side re-done, and doctor was there on the spot to check it and I got cleared. Also, if you have dense breast tissue, which I have, it makes the mamos a little harder to read, so more likely to have to have a recheck. GL, it will be fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:50 PM Flag
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I went there for both and it was totally fine. The technicians were both really nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:51 PM Flag
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Also, if it is a diagnostic mammo they will tell you on the spot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:52 PM Flag
[ - ] Help me figure out if I should let my husband divorce me and find someone else. Let's do Q&A. Flamers/haters be gone. 65 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:37 PM Flag
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Kids? Ages? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:42 PM Flag
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10 and 7. They would be the biggest concern. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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Honestly, as a child of divorce, I personally believe that it is selfish and irresponsible to divorce with kids. Go to counseling, work it out, or suck it up until they're in college. Unless there's abuse, of course. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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No, no abuse. I know it is really horrible. But I feel kind of sorry for dh, too. I was thinking maybe we should just live together but not as a couple. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:09 PM Flag
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np: what if your dh wants out and doesn't care? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:28 PM Flag
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other woman/man? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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no, but i think maybe my husband "deserves" better? or maybe i don't "deserve" him. or maybe we're just not right? not sure. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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why do you want to get divorced? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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I'm not sure I want to divorce but I think maybe it's best for dh? I have a bit of a temper and am a perfectionist and dh is much easier going (most of the time). I think my berating him is making him think I don't love him. And maybe he's right. I think I love him but maybe it's not enough? Maybe if I thought he were more "on the same page" I'd feel more "loving"? DH asked me today if I loved him as he was leaving for the airport. It felt like emotional manipulation but then he shouldn't have to ask, right? I don't know. I feel like he'd be happier if he met someone who didn't maybe even necessarily loved him more but was just more pleasant and easy-going and smiley all the time? He has a lot of money. He could easily find a woman who'd be happy-go-lucky 24/7 while spending lots on herself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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np: maybe you need to go to therapy and find out how to better meet the needs that you recognize he has, but also maybe how he could better meet your needs so you could actually BE happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:29 PM Flag
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This thought did enter my mind. But therapy seems so pointless. I've known so many people and couples in therapy (thanks to being in NYC). It never seems to do them any good. Just $500 out the door every week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:32 PM Flag
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1) no need to go every week; 2) i think it only works if you want to have a better relationship (both parnters); 3) it only helps if you're willing to make changes to your dynamic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 05:36 PM Flag
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will you be happy leaving your husband even if you don't find someone else? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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I am an introvert to a large degree and a loner, too. I think I could be happy. It's the kids I think about. I've always said no divorce while kids are underage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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How can you "let" someone divorce you...or not? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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Well, maybe I should just admit to myself that I don't give him what he needs and tell him so and he can decide to leave me. Or maybe I should just divorce him so he can find someone more suitable to his needs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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or maybe you should treat him like an adult and let him make his own decisions. if you want to get divorced for you, that's one thing.but doing it for him? BS. are you depressed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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My husband is a "nice guy." He would keep trying but maybe he's not happy. I am OK with the status quo but I am not a terribly emotionally demanding person. Maybe he wants something more. We're in our mid 40's. Maybe he ought to enjoy life more before he officially gets old. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:17 PM Flag
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and have you talked to him about this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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No. It really struck me today when I dropped him off at the airport. Maybe he deserves better. He wants a nice girl who's nice to him. I don't think it would even matter if she really loved him. I used to think that was stupid. But what's wrong with that? He's going to be dead someday. Nice is nice. I guess I would prefer to have a deeper relations, if possible, but I don't think he has it in him to give that. He's too focused on his work and making money. I am OK with that. But as I am only OK with that, I can't really be loving like he'd need me to be. Or it could be that I am just not a very girly girl and it could never work even if he were giving. I'm really not sure. It's been so long since we've gotten together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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so why not have that conversation and see where you end up? seems like a more reasonable first step than "I'm divorcing you. FOR YOUR OWN GOOD." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:26 PM Flag
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Not for his own good. I'd probably enjoy being single and responsibility-free, too. But once you tell your husband that you don't think you love him enough or that he ought to find someone nicer, you can't really take that kind of thing back. I'm trying to figure out what to say to him and also sort out my feelings, too. Maybe I really don't love him. Is that because I am not capable of loving someone truly deeply or is it because DH is not the right one and vice versa. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:30 PM Flag
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have you considered therapy to figure out what you want? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:32 PM Flag
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I said above, I just don't think therapy has ever done anyone/any couple any real good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:33 PM Flag
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and i know two couples who would disagree with you. now what? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:37 PM Flag
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Maybe you give me their therapist's number? But seriously, how many couples have you known that were not helped? Therapy has a miserable success rate. It just seems like a lot of hard work for maybe not such a clear benefit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:39 PM Flag
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Do you have a happy marriage? Maybe some people are naturally a coupling sort. And maybe I'm not one of them. Not sure therapy would change that. I also am not excited about a lot of "hard work" at this point in my life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:35 PM Flag
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are you happy about anything? you sound incredibly apathetic and resigned, which can mean depression. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:41 PM Flag
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No, maybe not. Maybe I am depressed. But as I said, not sure what to do as I am not unhappy with it. Thanks for listening to my story. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:49 PM Flag
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sex frequency? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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2x week. I'm not dissatisfied but I think DH would like more adventurous play time in bed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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have you asked him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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Yeah. he kind of says so. But I'm done being adventurous. I have an orgasm and I am done. Why are we screwing around with hand jobs, blow jobs and whatever jobs and massages now that I have orgasmed and he could, too, if he wanted instead of messing around? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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does he want to divorce you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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Who knows. I am sure the thought has passed his mind. We have some pretty amazing fights. I don't think he wants to divorce me. But probably, if a woman came on to him and she kept at it for a year or more, he might leave. I'm really not sure. He is very devoted to having an intact home and he does say we do have a 16 year history which is just down the drain if we go splitsville. But there is a decent chance he'd be happier with someone "nicer." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:11 PM Flag
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you are me.watching closely... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:55 PM Flag
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get your own post, eh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:59 PM Flag
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can you financially survive (not that I am in any way advocating one stays with a bad spouse or abusive) just seeing how quickly I would advise you to get out vs. saving for a few months. Other question: do you have family support near your and or friends? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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Money wouldn't be a problem. The BIG problem would be that he is going to be living in Europe and if we divorce, I'd probably live in the US. So the kids would be living with probably him and it'd be a hard visitation thing. But I guess I could live in Europe, too? Really not sure. I really wouldn't live outside the US unless I had to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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First off (are you a teenager?) there is no fault divorce now. So if someone WANTS to divorce you they can. Second, what exactly does "let my husband divorce me" even mean? He's waiting for you to give him the okay? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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Maybe I should let him know I'm just not the right person for him (and maybe he's not the right one for me, either, though if I can't make it work with him I wouldn't bother with anyone else) and we should call it quits. I know he would hang on hoping things will get better. And somtimes, things will be fine for a while but maybe fundamentally, there is a disconnect/problem. Maybe I should let him know it's not going to change. But who knows. Maybe it will change. It is a rather stressful time for us with the move planning and all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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You sound young. And trolling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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or clinically depressed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:26 PM Flag
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Do you think? I don't feel depressed. But maybe you're right. Who knows? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:27 PM Flag
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you feel nothing,it sounds like, and lack motivation. that's depression. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:33 PM Flag
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Maybe! What could a person do about that? I have a friend who's been in depressing for 30 years. Nothing has cured it, except he says when he did coke, his dad thought he seemed pretty good. His dad did not know he was on coke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:36 PM Flag
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Also, I am OK if I am depressed. So how could I cure myself if I don't feel like I have a problem? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:37 PM Flag
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have you ever been happy? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:41 PM Flag
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When I was in my late teens through 20's, I was what I would call stupid happy. Like i'd think, "the whole world is getting better all the time and it's just a matter of time (maybe a long time) before we all have access to clean water, sanitation, enough food, education enough to function in the world and be 'happy.'" I can't ever go back to that again. More important, I am not sure if I have ever truly deeply loved anybody, except maybe one boyfriend. But he wasn't as good a guy as dh is. DH is a nicer "good guy." But I felt like this other boyfriend and I were "in it together." I love dcs and would gladly, gladly take a bullet for them anytime. But I'm also not sure it is as maybe deep as my mother's love for me or them. I'd do anything for them but I am not blinded by my love for them and see all their flaws and shortcomings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:48 PM Flag
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ok, but are you saying that smart happy is impossible? you don't feel happiness now ever? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:51 PM Flag
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I don't know. Is smart happy possible? I am thinking maybe it's not. I am very content. Yes, my marriage could be better. But it could be a lot worse. My kids are doing pretty well except they have me as a mother, which is both a boon and a curse. I don't have money problems. I always feel OK. But happy? Not sure. What are you happy about? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:57 PM Flag
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i am happy because i love my kids who are pretty great. i have, by and large, an easy life -- enough money, no health issues - and time to do things i enjoy. I have a husband (and friends) I like to talk to and spend time with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 05:01 PM Flag
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This is making me think we are innately born with a predisposition to happiness or not-so-happy-ness. I have everything you do but the outlook is different. But maybe it's my husband is just too wrapped up in his own world/work. I'll have to see. Glad for you. Maybe I can turn things around myself. Thanks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 05:05 PM Flag
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But you know, maybe this is something I ought to address with DH. But not sure how. Hard to tell your husband, "I"m depressed and it might be because our marriage feels sort of empty. But I am good with that because it might be too much work to make it more fulfilling. But maybe that's not so great for you and you ought to think about setting up house with someone else who cares if she's depressed or checked out." A most delicate situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:41 PM Flag
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how about "our marriage feels kid of empty but maybe its because i ma depressed and generally feel kind of empty. I am looking into treatment options but i thought you should know how i feel." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:44 PM Flag
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You are much too sane. Ha ha. Yeah, the hard part is getting the treatment as I don't feel like I need treatment. But maybe I ought to do it. It's easier than "trying this divorce thing," right? Oh, my. I am so not looking forward to therapy. I hate taking pills but I'd even do that before therapy. This reminds me, my sister is on antidepressants. Maybe that's not just a coincidence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:52 PM Flag
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someof the best advice i ever got, when i was sad and frustrated with life, was "maybe you should get a new job before you get divorced"-- the point being, divorce is big and irrevocable and you should maybe try to fix other stuff first. (and i did get new better job and i did not get divorced, FWIW) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:55 PM Flag
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Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. I guess I should talk to DH about it. Thanks for talking through this with me. Are you happy, though? What brings happiness? But thanks again. I will look into doing something different about my outlook on my marriage and life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 05:00 PM Flag
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OK. So you know, there's that "-" link next to the thread. Click and it will collapse. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:26 PM Flag
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You sound young. And bitchy. Move on little nobody. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:41 PM Flag
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Stupid person cannot figure out the "-" button. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:42 PM Flag
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Do you think you and your DH could co-parent in a civilized manner? This is the biggest issue I have with divorced couples. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:46 PM Flag
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I think so. I would probably let DH have the kids. It is just too much work to single-parent them myself because I do it very hands-on. DH would have a bevy of nannies/tutors/etc. but he'd get the job done somehow and maybe the kids would be happier with them, too, because he is easier going. I would probably have to move to Europe because they'd feel abandoned otherwise. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:53 PM Flag
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Oh, a troll. Don't know why a bother to respond to posts like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:58 PM Flag
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Why is it trolling to let your DH have the kids? You guys are crazy. It'd be easier for me not to be a single parent but it's probably better for them in the end. He's a much nicer person than I am. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 05:02 PM Flag
[ - ] THE DOE IS MEAN!! 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:35 PM Flag
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Why? What did it do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:36 PM Flag
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Making us all wait and wait and wait for G&T placements.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:39 PM Flag
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They deserve a time out for this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:38 PM Flag
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you'll get it friday 5:00pm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:39 PM Flag
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Exactly. So why not just tell us that instead of saying "week of the 25th"?? MEAN. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:42 PM Flag
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Apparently we can begin registration tmrw, so Thai would imply placements by today. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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That. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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chill [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:48 PM Flag
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friday 11:59 PM is technically ok by this definition [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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they should have said late in the week on the 25th - under promise and over deliver. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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life isn't fair. the sooner you learn this the happier you will be. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:24 PM Flag
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Very true, Sugar. Though I'm sure the OP will get her good news soon. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:25 PM Flag
[ - ] If you had about $2k to invest (not a lot I realize but we're by no means well off, and this is extra $ we might have coming our way), what would you invest in? Stock? CD? Regular savings? Something else I don't know about which is probably why we're not rich? lol Preferring not to take a huge risk but something middle of the road. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:33 PM Flag
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put it in an index fund. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:35 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:36 PM Flag
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Thank you, I'll look into this :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:37 PM Flag
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Is this the best option for a retirement fund? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:37 PM Flag
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likely [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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OP: Ok was figuring as much. I have a 401k (but it's dreary)... I guess patience is the key. lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:40 PM Flag
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lotto [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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OP: lmao... def not lotto. I swear if my mom had saved every dollar she ever gambled, she'd be a millionaire. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:30 PM Flag
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ROTH [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:43 PM Flag
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do you have any debt? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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We do have debt. But $2k isn't even going to make a dent, and while it helps in terms of avoiding some interest, we'd still owe a lot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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pay off your debt. period. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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+1. especially credit cards. nothing provides a better return. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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OP: sigh... makes sense. I'll crunch some numbers and see what the interest rates are. Was hoping to have a little stashed away but paying down debt first would be the smarter option long-term. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:32 PM Flag
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op do you have credit card debt? pay it off first. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:57 PM Flag
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I'd put it towards your debt anyway, unless you can beat your debt interest rate with your investment interest rate, and I'm betting you can't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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if you dont need the money anytime soon, intl equities (via an index fund) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:45 PM Flag
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emerging [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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I'm not sold on EM- particularly China & Brazil, 2 of the largest 5 countries in EM. I much prefer Japan and Europe right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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good luck w/ that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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Investing dummy here. I was looking at Vanguard. Their options are: Vanguard Total Bond Market Index Fund, Vanguard Total International Bond Index Fund, Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund and Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund. Which one would that be? Thank you! NP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:07 PM Flag
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You're mixing things up. First decide whether you want a bond fund or a stock fund. Then decide which type (domestic, international, total, etc.). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:21 PM Flag
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Vanguard total stock index fund. Something similar. Then setup auto-saving. $10 a month even. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:08 PM Flag
[ - ] So sit-still kids who don't like sports do better academically? Or they are more intelligent? 56 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:28 PM Flag
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you mean nerds? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:31 PM Flag
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No link. Sporty kids span the IQ spectrum. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:33 PM Flag
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Eh.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:34 PM Flag
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They get better grades because teachers like them better (thanks to their "good" behavior.) This is true in elementary, and to some extent in MS. By HS, kids are better able to determine their fates through their academic work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:34 PM Flag
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It's not that, they are able to focus much better. Of course, they are much easier kids for the teachers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:38 PM Flag
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Sit still kids are, in my experience, actually less intelligent than those who get bored too easily with the class. The teacher is always teaching to the middle. Which means that the kids who get distracted are often than way because they figured out the concept the teacher is teaching 15 minutes ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:35 PM Flag
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+1! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:42 PM Flag
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this could be. my son is like this. or the kid could be like me and just fine with not learning as a child. it was shameful but i did very very well and was never bored though i really should have been learning more. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:44 PM Flag
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i don't understand...you just didn't care for learning? so how were your grades and what ended up happening to you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:47 PM Flag
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i didn't care that i was learning learning learning all the time like my ds. he would be so bored. he'd actually get 1st grade math wrong even though within 2 months of starting tutoring with me, he was doing long division. my grades were pretty good. i graduated #5 in a class of 700 and went to an ivy league and worked in finance. i really could have learned more earlier, though. i was not challenged at school until junior year in high school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:53 PM Flag
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do you feel like you were at the wrong school for you? like you would have learned more and enjoyed learning more if you were in a more academically challenging environment? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:57 PM Flag
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She is not intellectually curious (truly intelligent). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:11 PM Flag
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NP That's not my experience. Some kids who are fidgety are super smart and some are not, and ditto fro the kids who know how to sit still and listen. But you sound like someone who excuses bad behavior b/c your kid is too smart for school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:46 PM Flag
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Exactly. They are 2 independent characteristics. In general, the smarter the kid, the higher level of self-regulation they have. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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I don't think neurology agrees with that statement. self-regulation and intelligence are two totally different parts of the brain and are not co-dependent on each other. in other words you can have very high IQ kids with ADD. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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Excuses, excuses. How about disciplining your kid a bit? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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discipline has no impact on neurological disorders [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:10 PM Flag
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I know! The new UB myth: "I don't SUCK as a parent, my kid is just gifted! So he/she can't behave" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:16 PM Flag
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"self-regulation and intelligence are two totally different parts" LMAO!!! "high-IQ children have better self-regulatory abilities than a comparable group of average-ability children. In addition, self-regulation efficiency is related to working memory and action orientation (i.e., self-motivation)" http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1041608007000362 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:15 PM Flag
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The study doesn't measure underacheivers. It tested good students with IQs above 115. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:30 PM Flag
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+1. My guy is fidgety, but can usually repeat back verbatim what is said/taught in a lesson, is above grade level in reading and math, scores well on tests, etc. But then, with him it's really just a physical thing - he doesn't speak out of turn, or get up and distract other kids... he's just kind of squirmy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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"those who get bored too easily with the class" You are confusing 2 different things. We always got bored in class in ES, MS and HS. But we never moved around to express that boredom. The smartest kids get bored, still can sit still. You just think about something else that's more challenging and entertaining. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:49 PM Flag
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kids who get bored but can still sit still are not necessarily the smartest. there are definitely kids in my dc's class that can sit still all day long and are not smart at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:00 PM Flag
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"he kids who get distracted are often than way because they figured out the concept the teacher is teaching 15 minutes ago" in Math at least, those are the kids who got lost at the very beginning. The smartest kids have focus and much higher levels of self-regulation than the rest. So they tend to be the favorite ones, without them making any effort. The drawback is that the rest of the class sees this, so they end up being envied by many classmates. Even though it's not their fault that they are like this, likable sponges. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:51 PM Flag
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I get it. Your kid sits quietly and regurgitates the answers on command. That's not intelligence and no, the other kids are not envious of them because they're smart. They're envious of the attention they get from the teacher for being so very well behaved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:56 PM Flag
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NP: Please. "Regurgitates the answer" -- you mean demonstrates understanding of the concept being taught? As opposed to your special snowflake who is just too smart to sit still and participate? Tell him to sit still and think about proving Fermat's last theorem if he's so bored. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:01 PM Flag
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Why do you take this so personally? I'm a math teacher, I have geniuses in my family too. This is how it works in math: "They're envious of the attention they get from the teacher for being so very well behaved." They are LOVED by the teacher, sure. But it's not this, but because of the fact that these are the kids that after class have to explain what the class was all about to those who got stuck and distracted. They do this service to the rest of the class for free, without asking anything in return. They sit still when the teacher has to explain the same easy thing for the nth time, even though these kids got it the 1st time around. The teachers know they are doing a disservice to the smart ones each time they repeat an explanation to the non-bright ones. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:02 PM Flag
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np: it's a troll who is on here 24/7 picking fights. ignore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:05 PM Flag
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"That's not intelligence" Being good at self-regulation requires intelligence. "the other kids are not envious of them because they're smart" LOL Of course they are! They are envious that they get higher grades than they get, even though they didn't have to study like they had to. Kids compare EVERYTHING and get jealous just like women in UB get jealous of what the others have that they don't. Just listen to the kids, they express this aloud. And they aren't lying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:06 PM Flag
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self-regulation has nothing to do with intelligence. you're not very well educated, are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:13 PM Flag
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np: You really don't understand how a brain works. You are FOS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:14 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:35 PM Flag
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The child you describe sounds like a middle of the road smartish, people pleaser kid. Not a really smart kid. He is envied (or is it disliked?)for being teacher's pet? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:58 PM Flag
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LOL The lion's share of the math dep at an ivy-league, grad level, not undergrad is the way I'm describing, so their kids. The "he/she's a mess! doesn't know how to behave! because he/she is a .... Genius!" is complete BS. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:08 PM Flag
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They are also aspy-spectumy. Intelligence does transcend the math department. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:10 PM Flag
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Nobody in these math departments is not super high IQ. They don't get restless when they get bored, they think about sth else or write stuff on their notes. This is an easy skill to master. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:18 PM Flag
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As I said, aspy-spectrum. One trick ponies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:31 PM Flag
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i think this is part of the gender divide. girls are better behaved and tend to get higher grades but the standarized test winners are more likely to be boys [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:04 PM Flag
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What a load of anglo-saxon BS! I got perfect scores in the GRE, just like other female friends of mine, classmates of mine at 2 ivy-leagues. All in STEM and guess what... from Latin America. The difference? Our fathers never expected any less from us in STEM because of being girls, nor to have nicer handwriting, nor to be more quiet (if anything, the opposite is true in Latin America at least). Who would have thought Latin America is more gender-neutral than USA! It definitely is when it comes to IQ and academics. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:11 PM Flag
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What is your ethnic/genetic root mixture? European/Indigenous/African/other? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:19 PM Flag
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We are all a mix of Mediterranean countries, the norm in South America. Seriously, the "my daughter is naturally not good in math" I've heard from old WASPy men is mind-blowing! Even Arab countries are nicer to girls than these men. The best mathematician last year was from Iran by the way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:24 PM Flag
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This Iranian lady kicks asses by the way!!! "Mirzakhani was born in 1977 in Tehran, Iran. She went to high school in Tehran at Farzanegan, National Organization for Development of Exceptional Talents (NODET). She competed and was recognized internationally for her math skills, receiving gold medals at both the 1994 International Mathematical Olympiad (Hong Kong) and the 1995 International Mathematical Olympiad (Toronto), where she was the first Iranian student to finish with a perfect score" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maryam_Mirzakhani [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:25 PM Flag
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What?? You are European but pretending to be what, Hispanic or some black or indigenous combination? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:42 PM Flag
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I do have Native blood as well, but not the other girls from South America I've met. It's just a much better culture when it comes to academic achievement than USA. Our fathers would NEVER in a million years assume that we are better suited for creative writing, being a kindergarten teacher, a nurse, or the like. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:28 PM Flag
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Now that you get me thinking about the lack of gender-neutral culture in USA... Chile, Argentina and Brazil have woman presidents as we speak. The 3 of them have Paid Maternity Leave since I remember, as well as subsidized childcare. Which women in USA can't manage to implement. The women 1 and 2 generations ago in these 3 countries got a ton more done for their gender than women in USA have to show for in terms of real Public Policy being implemented. Only 3 countries in the world lack Paid Maternity Leave: USA, Swaziland and Papua Guinea. That's a huge failure for USA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:35 PM Flag
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"These women lived in fear of their husbands cheating or leaving them, and since they didn’t have careers or money of their own, they had no leverage." <- this is what the less-fortunate want to believe because it makes them feel less envious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:50 PM Flag
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>>> Oops, sorry, wrong post. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:52 PM Flag
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wtf? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 03:54 PM Flag
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Sit-still kids are the product of traditional education. Progressive schools tolerate those who jump around. It doesn't reflect on IQ or anything... Traditional Schools like Anderson and Nest would produce sit-still kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:03 PM Flag
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Think again. My ds is very smart and sits still since before formal education kicked in. He likes sports too. He tends to be one of the favorites of every teacher he ever had. This is not my achievement as a mother, he was born that way. Maybe genetics? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:22 PM Flag
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Right, so a progressive school might be a good fit for him to get him out of his box. Kids who can't sit still would benefit from a traditional school which would teach them to concentrate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:42 PM Flag
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What does not liking sports have to do with being able to sit-still? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:12 PM Flag
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They don't move around much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:20 PM Flag
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Being able to sit-still doesn't imply sitting down all day long! As if they had to practice to sit-still when they need that skill. OMG! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:23 PM Flag
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uh, my kid doesn't do sports but does dance. she moves around plenty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:34 PM Flag
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And your son? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.27.15, 04:43 PM Flag
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