• Filter the conversation
[ - ] I'm still bummed he hasn't talked to me. But at least I haven't made a fool of myself by texting him. And I deleted him from the app where we met. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:46 PM Flag
»
Are you the one who was trying to get second date with a guy. You texted him right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:59 PM Flag
»
Yeah. I just don't get it can't stop wondering why I'm not good enough. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:04 PM Flag
»
Just gonna point out the obvious and say one can't live one's live through an iPhone. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
»
Np Huh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:11 PM Flag
»
Nm have fun with your applications and people and stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:14 PM Flag
»
Grandma? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
»
So what do you suggest doing? I mean, I'm not going to go stand outside his apartment building and wait for him to beg for him to have sex with me. lol and I do have a social life. I am going to the beach every weekend in August. I have several trips in July. Participating in some social sports, tennis, outdoor concert things. This one is just hard to get over. I keep telling myself he's a hookers and blow kind of guy. ;) Maybe that will help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:39 PM Flag
»
OP, I was in a similar situation when I was 28 (this was pre-Tinder). Met a guy through a friend, he asked my friend for my number, we went out and had what I thought was a great date, and I got really, really excited. Never heard from him again. I was absolutely CRUSHED, even though I had only met this guy twice and had one date. It just spun me out for whatever reason and it took me months to get over it, which I knew was crazy but couldn't help it. Anyway, I did get over it, and the next person I dated was my DH. Just keep the faith. It's not that weird to feel like this - it probably was just the last straw. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 05:00 PM Flag
»
Thanks for being understanding and sharing. I am not like this with every guy. Once in awhile it hits and it hits hard. Part of the problem is that he was so kind and polite. I really thought he liked me enough to see me again. Follow up text the day after. He offered to make me breakfast. (I know sleeping over was bad, but maybe best sex of my life). I am trying to move forward. Swamped with work and travel next week and half so I won't be able to go on any new dates though which is not ideal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 05:14 PM Flag
»
Once I had the most amazing internet date with this gorgeous, kind guy. I let him sleep over (no sex tho, just snagging) that's how amazing it was. Fell hard. He left the next morning, all lovey-dovey, then NEVER CONTACTED ME AGAIN. It hurt so much. This happens to tons of people. You will be okay. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 05:39 PM Flag
»
I'm on the road to recovery. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 05:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Think about it - what reason is there for a 30 year old guy to get married in today's world? It's a losing proposition for men. Women control 90% of the marriages I see, they choose when to work and when not to work yet control the family finances, they decide where the family will live, and will eventually begin to make nearly every decision that impacts the children. 67 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:42 PM Flag
»
Some people just love each other. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:43 PM Flag
»
Love will get you through about 5 years of marriage. After that things like respect and cooperation have to take over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:45 PM Flag
»
this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:46 PM Flag
»
This x1000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:55 PM Flag
»
OR: I agree to an extent, but I still love my DH after all these years. Can't imagine living with someone based simply on respect and cooperation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:58 PM Flag
»
Same here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:11 PM Flag
»
This is good comedy - with all of the talk about marriage equality and "traditional marriage", someone on one of the blogs dug up some newspaper editorials & op-eds from the early 1900s, in which people decried "love marriages" and said they would destroy the institution altogether. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:15 PM Flag
»
Probably some upper class stuff where marriages were more or less arranged (even informally). My grandmother was married in 1916 and my grandfather had pursued her. There was no family pressure to marry a particular person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:20 PM Flag
»
I think you are exaggerating. Most marriages I know, both spouses decide where to live etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:44 PM Flag
»
This. Who are these other people? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:45 PM Flag
»
Many men marry to have someone do their laundry, cook for them, bear children and do every single thing for the children. And when she dies, they marry within a year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:45 PM Flag
»
I don't get it though. It's much, much easier to just pay for dry cleaning and restaurants than to get married to take care of laundry and eating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:47 PM Flag
»
Gosh, this sounds like the opposite of my family. I supported us for a long time, DH made a lot of the decisions about how we lived, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:47 PM Flag
»
I guess I don't see that in my circle. It's a lot of women who don't necessarily make outright decisions, but who so heavily influence the decision that the outcome is never in question. For example - the couple is looking for a new home. Husband says - I want to be in this town because it's 30 minutes closer to work. And wife says - yes, but this other town 30 minutes farther has a school I like better, and there is a supermarket nearby, and I like that I can walk to the park. I just don't think I could live in town A. No husband is going to force his wife to live in town A after that conversation, so his wife has essentially made the decision. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:53 PM Flag
»
But if it's a choice between Town A (that DH wants) and Town B (that DW wants), someone has to win/compromise. What would you say if the couple decided on Town A -- "the men make all of the decisions". People make choices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:01 PM Flag
»
isn't that really joint decision making. I.e., I say I want to live in a particular place, my husband says no way, how about x which is better for several reasons. I either agree or we continue to discuss it to come to a compromise. The person who does more research on the decision has more information, and that person is likely to prevail in a rational discussion. Emotions count too, but in any decent marriage what both people think and want has to county equally much of the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:04 PM Flag
»
Maybe it's because I see so many guys who are clearly living lives they don't want. They live in towns they don't like, they go on trips they don't want to go on, they go to parties and events they don't want to be at, and then the minute they spend a few hours doing something they want to do on a weekend they get accused of being selfish. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:12 PM Flag
»
That's men who married bitches who don't care how they feel. Poor sods. Or maybe that's the model from their parents' marriage? Or maybe they just enjoy complaining? I know some guys like this too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:19 PM Flag
»
That is, on the one hand, they want to make their wives happy, but on the other hand they don't know how to engage in a rational discussion where they explain what they would like, and suggest potential compromises. So they give their wives whatever they ask, and then bitch about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
»
Some men like to complain about what they consider their "princess wives" because it makes them feel good about themselves (ie. I married a princess, therefore she is high status, therefore I am high status.) "My wife just wouldn't stop bitching until I bought her the new BMW SUV" or whatever. It shows that they, the men, have value, because they picked a bitch who they feel is high-value. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:25 PM Flag
»
Then this is more a problem with their particular marriage/wife, then the institution in general. Did they marry the pretty marketing assistant who decided to retire at age 31? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:20 PM Flag
»
In general, yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:30 PM Flag
»
My husband and I made all of those decisions together. In addition I have been supporting the family for the past two years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:53 PM Flag
»
my husband decides where to live because he works in academia and can't get a job just anywhere. he would also like a constant companion while he moves around every few years for work. if you ask me, he got a great deal and i'm the one who got a raw deal. go fuck yourself mra troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:53 PM Flag
»
Do you think he would leave you if you didn't move with him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:56 PM Flag
»
Spoken like an unmarried troll. My DH is treated like a king. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:55 PM Flag
»
How so? And don't say - because his laundry is done and his house is clean. That's my point. It would be much, much easier for him to just say - fuck it, I'll pay a housekeeper to do that stuff. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:56 PM Flag
»
food cooked, things cared for to his liking, social life arranged, children brought up carefully with love and respect, etc. etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:06 PM Flag
»
Again, spoken like an unmarried troll. If that's what you think marriage is- getting your laundry done and the house clean but having to compromise on things like where you live, then perhaps for you, being unmarried is the better option. It almost gseems futile to explain top you things like companionship, having someone wholeheartedly support all of his goals and dreams, having a true teammate- someone who is always on his side no matter what, having someone who utterly adores him and wants him to be happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:09 PM Flag
»
Oh , I've been married for 12 years. I know what marriage is, and it sure as shit isn't having someone who "utterly adores you and wants you to be happy." You think married people wholeheartedly support each other's goals and dreams? Now who's being naive, Kay? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:14 PM Flag
»
Well, then I feel sorry for you, because 15 years later, I can honestly say I still utterly adore my DH and want him to be happy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:17 PM Flag
»
This. I've been married 9 years and I wholeheartedly support my DH's goals and dreams and he does mine. But it would be out of character for him to say one day "I'm quitting my job to become a championship surfer." However, if he really really wanted to do it, we could strategize a path for that: we move to Hawaii, I find a job there, we build up savings, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:22 PM Flag
»
Not in my experience. Most wives I know will just say -no, we cant do that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:32 PM Flag
»
And it's probably true in the majority of instances -- families are tied to location because of work, extended family, kids in school, etc. But, a family should still talk about it and see if it potentially COULD work out without just flatly saying no. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:37 PM Flag
»
NP: exactly. DH and I have had a similar conversation. He'll retire before me and has talked about the possibility of moving to the Northwest. I think it's a great idea but given my work, it probably wouldn't happen until I was in a position to go. Not a flat-out no, but an on-going discussion of the possibility and how to swing it if that is what we ultimately decide. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:40 PM Flag
»
Youre making my point! You made the decison by saying 'no, thats not possible, but maybe one day I will consider talking about it.' [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:46 PM Flag
»
Reading comprehension issues? That's not what she said at all. Do you expect your wife to pander to your every whim without working out logistics like schools/jobs/budgets? Then that's probably why she seems so unreasonable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:53 PM Flag
»
I don't understand. Saying "no, it's not possible RIGHT THIS SECOND due to my JOB but let's think of a plan to accomplish this" is not the same as "NO! NEVER will I move to the PNW! Over my dead body!" Compromise is the bedrock of a relationship, as is the ability to discuss your current needs and future plans. If you think someone saying "not right now" is closing off all discourse, it sounds like you might be immature. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:55 PM Flag
»
PP: that's not what I said at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:55 PM Flag
»
+1. DH and I just celebrated our 25th, and while we're not gaga over each other, I can't imagine having anyone else like him as a life partner. DH got me through some tough times and I've been with him long enough to know him inside out. We're in this together. Do we have disagreements? Sure, but in the big picture he's the one and we work around minor issues. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:30 PM Flag
»
This. We lived on savings for 2 yrs so he could pursue his dream. And I paid all the bills from my salary and an inheritance and still did 70% of the child related stuff so he could improve his career and self-esteem. No guaratnees that it was going to work out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 05:22 PM Flag
»
Nice Godfather reference. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:46 PM Flag
»
men benefit in more ways than just having chores done. Most men I know don't have a lot of common sense/not able to think about more than one thing at a time. It is very stabilizing to have a partner (DW) who provides that. Also, we listen to them when they talk about their days/problems, take care of the kids (many men want a legacy of kids), etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:02 PM Flag
»
people bring different gifts to the table. although my husband is a solid earner, he would never had made good investments with time and money that i was convicted of and that have certainly paid off for us now (i earn much less than him and currently in grad program now). investments in real estate, grad program, etc. that have enabled him to get promoted numerous times at work and have the best commute in the world. my dad always sayd that behind every great man is a woman, and he is right. i was very appreciative when he wrote about what i had done for him in his thesis. he made it clear his parents built his foundation, but that i had a lot to do with his success over the last decade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:03 PM Flag
»
The way I see it, it was a losing proposition for me to marry. I have to provide and take care of the kids + make most if the decisions. I guess it's how you look at it... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:06 PM Flag
»
This. It's funny that MRA trolls act like they're really giving women a big "eff you" by not marrying them, but besides the fact that no one wants an MRA loser, men report much higher levels of marital satisfaction then women do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:12 PM Flag
»
May a 30 yo man would like to be truly loved? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:06 PM Flag
»
I married my DH when we were young - 28 and 27 respectively... I loved my husband then as a 20 something, I love him now in a different way. He made our family extremely financially stable (BigLaw but wasn't making partner but was able to go in house at big pharma and has moved up quickly there) and is kind, a good and attentive dad, and a fair partner. Do we still bone 5x per week? no. Do I still want to passionately make out on the street? no. But he provides and loves me in the way a mid 30 something needs to be tended to. Also... 10 years in to the marriage, I somewhat agree with the above poster - its about being a good person and being respectful and fair in your marriage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
»
He believes in family etc. There are still a few old - fashioned men out there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
»
+1 (and I think there are way more than a few). OP is the exception. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:13 PM Flag
»
np: Agree, OP is the exception. Men like this think that they are leading some sort of revolution, but it just feels like that to themselves because they're screaming to each other in an echo chamber of sorts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:16 PM Flag
»
there are guys out there who get married precisely so they don't have to make those decisions, they want someone else to manage their homes and families for them. Which is not how I like things, but for some families that works. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:15 PM Flag
»
Unless a man wants multiple children and/or a career in politics, there really isn't a reason to get married. Same for women. DH and I wouldn't be married today if we weren't citizens of different countries. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:16 PM Flag
»
Or they just believe in marriage. Some people don't want to "shack-up". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:18 PM Flag
»
Why even shack up? Keep your own space and just get together when you want to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 05:41 PM Flag
»
My DH and I have no children together and he is not a politician. Some people just like being married. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:27 PM Flag
»
Ditto. I never would have married ANYONE if it weren't for the citizenship issue. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:36 PM Flag
»
Maybe the guy wants kids and a mom for the kids and a family life that he is building together with his spouse and lovely mempries to look back on when he is in a nursing home [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
»
I don't understand it myself--especially if he is very wealthy. If I were a man with a lot of money, no way on earth would I get married. Too messy to unwind the relationship. Not necessary anymore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:32 PM Flag
»
I think it is a great deal for a DH. I make 50% of the income and it is steady and his is not. Like most women do 80% of child rearing house/social organization/planing of kids activities, school, clothes, gear. If you want kids having a wife is a great deal. If you don't want kids you are still way better off if you choose someone who also works. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:35 PM Flag
»
I understand what you're trying to say, but really, men benefit greatly from marriage. That's why most men remarry after losing their wives, either to death or divorce, and why most divorce filers are women. Not only do they get "taken care of" in a way that goes beyond household chores, but they get to be part of a family. Virtually all high-status men are married with children. As far as the kind of "ball and chain" wife you're talking about, that kind of guy either thinks it's normal based on how he was raised or he gets off on pampering the wife. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:52 PM Flag
»
This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 05:05 PM Flag
»
And yet every study shows married men live longer and are happier, while the opposite is true for women (wives are more unhappy than unmarried women). Men without family/relationship commitments usually become pathetic, antisocial creatures (or sociopathic sex fiends with less and less ability to score) after 40. Maybe you're in the former category? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 05:43 PM Flag
»
Good call. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 05:53 PM Flag
»
Married men don't live longer. It just feels longer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 06:00 PM Flag
»
Oh, poor shy shrinking violet Man, so unable to speak up for himself, so timid against the mighty female, poor, poor male who seems never strong enough to dominate the leadership of most countries, industries, technology development, world economies, conversation, and well, everything on the planet...poor, poor man...never getting what he wants [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 06:08 PM Flag
»
That's the cost of being able to reproduce. Males in nature have to pay for access to females. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 06:15 PM Flag
[ - ] We need to find a new job for our very good sitter/housekeeper (she has worked for us for 15 years). She is a woman in her early sixties, U.S. citizen, wonderful with babies, paid on the books. Where would I put a classified ad for her? Are there any online NYC bulletin boards that are useful for this? Any agencies that people use? Thanks so much! 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:39 PM Flag
»
Anyone? Help!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:47 PM Flag
»
Care.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:50 PM Flag
»
Thank you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:56 PM Flag
»
also sittercity.com the sitter will need her own email address to apply / get responses, but I guess you could set it up for her. But she has to actively search for jobs on the site and apply. same with care.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:00 PM Flag
»
My sitter isn't really an internet person. I don't think she even has an email. I was going to do it for her, at least until phone contacts were set up. Any way to do this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:02 PM Flag
»
Just set it up under your email [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:12 PM Flag
»
Will do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:44 PM Flag
»
These posts are so funny. And I see them all the time..."We need to find a new job for someone who works for us, bla bla bla". I can just imagine in real world, your boss is about to lay you off and is actively looking for a replacement job for you...LOL!. I mean your heart is in the right place and you seem nice, but wth? It is not your responsibility to find your ex employee a job. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:36 PM Flag
»
Look at it this way. Childcare providers are not paid a lot and do not have a lot of savings. If you like the person, you want to make sure he/she will not be destitute. You also know that your recommendation is the most useful and potent thing that will help your employee, who may not be terribly sophisticated financially or socially. My babysitter is an older, kind and hard-working, but unsophisticated, woman. Why wouldn't I want to help her make the next transition, after she has worked for my family, and assisted with caring for my children, for FIFTEEN years? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:43 PM Flag
»
op: in our case, we are not seeking a replacement. Our children are grown, and we cannot justify the expense of keeping our sitter on as just a housekeeper (we are not wealthy). She has also been out of the job market for a long time, in order to work for us, and it only seems fair to assist in any way we can with finding a new job. I wish more employers would do this! It seems like the right way to handle the loss of a job which is in no way the employee's fault. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Annoying Persians on my Facebook talking about how western women dress. I feel like commenting "if you don't like it, why not go back to your shitty countries?" But I will restrain myself. 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:31 PM Flag
»
How many Persian countries are there? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:32 PM Flag
»
lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:33 PM Flag
»
the cats have their own country, I hear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:33 PM Flag
»
Hee, hee. Good one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:34 PM Flag
»
You realize Persians don't only live in Iran, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:35 PM Flag
»
There's only one Persian country. Sure, there are subgroups of Persians and people who speak Persian in other countries. I was just joking around with OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:38 PM Flag
»
Like I said, I said the Persians can go back to the countries they came here from. Iran, Afghanistan, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:43 PM Flag
»
Why are you Facebook friends with these people then? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:45 PM Flag
»
What is their complaint? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:33 PM Flag
»
Mainly talking about shorts and dress length. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:35 PM Flag
»
A topic often discussed by the non-Persians here... and yet still you come here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:38 PM Flag
»
Some cultures view that as a sign of oppression. That women are pressured to display their bodies for the consumption of men whereas they are covered and protected. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:46 PM Flag
»
They are being awful and rude, and so are you. At least you're doing it in private. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:33 PM Flag
»
How is she being awful and rude? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:56 PM Flag
»
Why don't you go back to your shitty countries? That's a pretty awful thought. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:48 PM Flag
»
I would tell him to watch shahs of sunset. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:34 PM Flag
»
This was my first though, I am not sure it is possible to wear more revealing clothes than they do! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:38 PM Flag
»
You should post a YouTube clip of mj to his page and time how fast he deletes it and you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:42 PM Flag
»
+1. I have Persian friends and even the 50 yos wear clothes that are skintight and lowcut! Must be some radically different Persian groups. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:18 PM Flag
»
Really? People are on "YOUR facebook" bothering you about such things? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:37 PM Flag
»
np- generally when people say "my facebook" they are referring to their feed/circle of FB friends [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:38 PM Flag
»
Persian/Iranian women in the U.S. dress really well in my opinion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:42 PM Flag
»
Agreed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:44 PM Flag
»
Aren't these people you have chosen to have on your FB feed? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:53 PM Flag
»
Do you not have friends who annoy you sometimes? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:13 PM Flag
»
NP: Sure, but I don't think thoughts like them returning to their "shitty countries." They annoy me, I get over it or let them fade away. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:15 PM Flag
»
Oh please [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:24 PM Flag
»
You might think that if the annoying thing they were doing was bitching about the customs of the country they choose to live in [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:25 PM Flag
»
Easy solution: don't follow them anymore on Facebook. Good grief. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:31 PM Flag
»
No one is more dirty and disgusting than Iranian men when it comes to whoring around, yet they have the loudest mouths when it comes to woman bashing! The hypocrites. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:37 PM Flag
[ - ] First world problem: I'm chairing a major fundraiser this summer, I'm much much younger than they have ever had chair before. A woman who has served as dinner chair off and on eons is seriously getting under my skin. I have tried to tread carefully around her, recognizing that she has known me since I was in diapers and it must be difficult taking direction from me. The problem is, she is not taking direction from me. Every other older patron has been encouraging and gracious. At meetings they have hosted they insist I sit at the head of the table, lead the discussion etc. The Dinner chair (who is in her 50s), directed me to my seat on the side of the table before taking the head and then leading the discussion despite mine and the development officer's agenda. Fine, no big deal but she simply won't take direction. I tell her I am concerned about the entree she suggested and ask that we get a few more recommendations from the caterer, she continues telling people that the entree is the one she chose with no feedback from anyone else, I asked twice more. A development officer and the president of the organization eventually stepped in there, that's what it has taken (they did this without me asking because they knew she wasn't getting the options the committee and I had asked for) and she is still fighting for her revolting entree. She's making unilateral decisions that impact the timing of the event and the decor. If this was a NY event I would simply bite back and make her understand her place but this is in my summer community. We will know each other for the rest of our lives and we are even distantly related. How do I gently but firmly make her back off? I've tried befriending her but that just makes her walk all over me more. We have a meeting coming up, do I risk a firm brief comment to publicly rebuff her? Ignore her and just go around her and change things with the caterers? I'm afraid that will lead to chaos. Help! And yes you can make fun of me too, I do know how ridiculous this all is! 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:29 PM Flag
»
Can you ask advice of some of the more supportive ladies so it's more of a group against her thing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:31 PM Flag
»
Thank you, last year the co-chairs didn't use her at all, the year before that it was a celebrity chair so I'm not comfortable emailing her (and i doubt she even knew what was happening during the planning of the event). I have an email out to the chair from three years ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
»
Why do you keep posting this, troll?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:32 PM Flag
»
I posted it once last night at about 1am and got very few responses so I thought I would try during the day. Normally it's a saner group this time of day. Not sure how that makes me a troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:06 PM Flag
»
What is the crazy entree? Is it the only entree or one of several? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:32 PM Flag
»
A fish cake. The only option. Not crab. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:08 PM Flag
»
Ok, that's gross. I totally get why you are complaining. -np [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:51 PM Flag
»
You need to decide (on your own) what the entree is and decree that is the decision with lots of people on the email and having these other higher-ups knowing about it in advance. A public declaration of your responsibility is necessary to shake up your older patron. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:33 PM Flag
»
Thank you, I think I will just have to do it this way. Maybe put dinner as the final agenda item at the meeting and announce the menu before turning the meeting over to her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:10 PM Flag
»
Why are you worried about the decor and the entree? If you're the event chair your job is to worry about the MONEY. Let her do the dumb party stuff and you worry about the sponsorships, the ticket sales, the raffles, the journal, all the actual important stuff. Trust me, you'll be highly appreciated by everyone involved when you show up at the post-mortem meeting and tell them you raised 30% more than last year's event. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:35 PM Flag
»
Because if she gets more donors in, and they think event was awful, they may not come back. Signed, person who goes to more than a few of these things. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:38 PM Flag
»
You go to these things, I plan them. I get it. But trust me, if they're doing it right no one will give a shit about the flowers or the food. The purpose of an event like this is to raise money and make friends. Not to have a party. It's super easy to engage donors with things outside of the regular old gala dinner and speech. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:44 PM Flag
»
I have all those things under control. We have several corporate sponsors and underwriters, our patron level tickets are sold out, and amazing auctioneer is flying up from NY. We are in great shape except for dinner and I'd like to fill out the silent auction a bit more. As the chair, i designed the decor and feel of the event. She is now getting in to rearranging the timing and undoing the decor which was expensive. They are also well beyond the scape of Dinner Chair, a title I gave her, not the organization. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:14 PM Flag
»
Take control. Not by saying anything to her, but by making the decisions yourself, outside of any committee or meetings. Decide the decor, decide the food, communicate it to the vendors. No "asking" for things. When she complains, you are sweet and say, that's great, but this is the way we'll try it this year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:41 PM Flag
»
Terrible advice. She's the chair of a committee, not the fundraiser dictator. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:45 PM Flag
»
That's exactly what the Chairwoman is. The under chairs make recommendations and the Chair or Co-Chairs have final say within the scope of what the non-profit has approved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:16 PM Flag
»
Maybe I don't fully understand the situation, but I am the gala chair for a major organization I volunteer with (albeit the Junior Committee, so a much more relaxed position) and when people make really bad suggestions, I just pretend that they can't be accommodated. The caterer couldn't come into our budget/couldn't accommodate the number, etc. If it's the caterer and the entree that was served last year, say you received less than positive feedback and you want to go in a new direction. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:54 PM Flag
»
Exactly, that's how it works but not with this woman. I have said all of those types of things to her but she pushes right back. The President of the organization has actually had to get involved because the development team and I have had such a difficult time with her. You can't nicely redirect her or deflect her and I'm leery of having to actually snap at her with the needed amount to make her back off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
»
Then I would push with the development team through the president so that you aren't personally making enemies. "I'm sorry Susan, I know how much you wanted to move forward with the chicken paillard, but John is adamant that we go ahead with the salmon, which several people tested and preferred. It's not up to me at this point, we're getting the salmon." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:38 PM Flag
»
Thank you! I think that is the best option. One of the development officers and I already do good cop/bad cop on auction items, vendors etc. I'm sure he'd be willing to be my bad cop. Thanks again!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:53 PM Flag
»
You are chairing the fundraiser. She is the dinner chair. Dinner has been delegated to her, so you let her do her job. If you think chairing the event is about having the best seat at the table and overriding your delegates' decisions, you are not ready to chair yet. By needing other officers to step in and exert authority on your behalf, you are also proving to the other officers that you are not ready. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:18 PM Flag
»
FIrst, I asked her to be dinner chair. No I do not want the best seat at the table. If you are talking about the meeting example, I don't care about sitting at the head of the table, it actually makes me less comfortable but it was an example of how she has behaved differently than the other patrons. The President got involved because even the development office could not get this woman in line. i should have spoken with last year's co-chairs and found out why they didn't have a dinner chair, they probably could have warned me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Pope Francis makes me want to go back to church. Haven't been in 15 years, but he is restoring my faith in Catholicism. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:26 PM Flag
»
He's just a good guy. The Jesuits are so much smarter than the average Catholic. But the whole religion (like every other religion) is so stupid about women. I could never follow any of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:29 PM Flag
»
Your disenchantment with Catholicism was their backwards stance on social issues, not the fact that the religion is based on a fable about a virgin getting pregnant by God and that when the child was killed everyone was forgiven for stuff? Pope Francis could cure cancer and eliminate poverty and pollution everywhere but I still wouldn't go back to being a Catholic. Or any religion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:31 PM Flag
»
Obviously you're not OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:48 PM Flag
»
Come back! We miss you! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:31 PM Flag
»
Same here! He rocks!!! Still in shock that hte Vatican went for him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:38 PM Flag
»
This. I'm not Catholic, but how did he get elected? Did he lie about his ideas until he was voted in? You'd think that if he campaigned on "let's dismantle the gilded toilets" no one would have voted for him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:50 PM Flag
»
Yes! I'm a non-Catholic, non-believer and even I love the fellow. Jesuits too. Liberation theology. One of the best strains of the religion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:43 PM Flag
»
He's a PR genius. Don't buy into the hype. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:19 PM Flag
»
anti-christ? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:29 PM Flag
[ - ] I know this is an old fad, but has anyone ever had success with fit-flops actually toning your legs and butt? I just got a pair and they are very comfortable flip flops, but I just can't imagine that they would do anything to tone my legs. 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:24 PM Flag
»
The German company Birkenstock claims that the sandals will build up certain muscles in your legs because you are forced to cling to the shoe when walking. I guess I can see the same thing happening with flip flops. I think you would have to be doing a lot of walking in them though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:28 PM Flag
»
Why would any woman want the strong calves of a German lady? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:30 PM Flag
»
For better kicking when necessary. Chop chop! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:32 PM Flag
»
People who like having a fit body that can do stuff. Why would anyone want the bony legs of an anorexic New York Jew? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:33 PM Flag
»
Because those legs are universally attractive on woman. Signed, still has great gams in her 40s. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:35 PM Flag
»
Bony legs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:57 PM Flag
»
Fortunately, no. Just the right amount of muscle and flesh. Attractive slim calves with a healthy diet. #blessed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:02 PM Flag
»
Birkenstock sandals are comfortable but so very ugly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:35 PM Flag
»
Who cares. I wear them for myself, not anyone else. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:38 PM Flag
»
Unless you get a pair of cushioned athletic ones, they Wi'll cause you damage to your feet which will spread to your legs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:29 PM Flag
»
The Fit Flops are super cushioned. That's the whole point of them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:35 PM Flag
»
Then you're fine. Those flat ones from old navy will fuck up your whole leg. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:41 PM Flag
»
np Those crap ones from ON are all I ever wear except when working out. Feet are fine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:59 PM Flag
»
Get back to me when you develope plantar fasciitis. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:05 PM Flag
»
When should that happen? I've been wearing crappy flip flops my whole life [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:14 PM Flag
»
+1. Florida girl. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:14 PM Flag
»
Pp Me too! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:14 PM Flag
»
no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:35 PM Flag
»
They are so comfortable that you will walk more. It's the walking that makes you fit, not the shoe itself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:37 PM Flag
»
Kind of the opposite. I liked them at first, but honestly, they've started to hurt me. I don't wear them anymore, feel like they're adding to lower back pain. Just switched to these plastic birkenstocks and I'm kind of loving them. I mean, they're not pretty, but... http://www.amazon.com/Birkenstock-Madrid-Womens-Sandal-Rose-Rose/dp/B00U8R5ASM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1435852931&sr=8-1&keywords=birkenstock+plastic [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:02 PM Flag
[ - ] damn I feel like a sucker paying market rent when all these people can live in huge apartments for peanuts. 52 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:20 PM Flag
»
+1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:23 PM Flag
»
Well, make less money then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:25 PM Flag
»
+1 waaaaaaay less money [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:34 PM Flag
»
There are people paying $500 a month for SOHO lofts ..... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:26 PM Flag
»
The crazy thing is not this. The crazy thing is that there are people paying like $15K or whatever some weirdos pay for them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:55 PM Flag
»
np: I think one crazy extreme doesn't negate the other crazy extreme [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:56 PM Flag
»
Hmm...yeah just trying to add some balance I guess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:00 PM Flag
»
rent control? what do you mean? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:31 PM Flag
»
I live in a 3 bedroom for 3k on upper east side. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:32 PM Flag
»
How? Is it 5th floor walk up? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:43 PM Flag
»
You are welcome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:46 PM Flag
»
Marry one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:32 PM Flag
»
Someday you will be them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:32 PM Flag
»
And of course their kids inheriting rent controlled apartments is just another slap in our face [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:37 PM Flag
»
The new rent stab buildings are just for a temporary period, and most people can access them, the price ranges for MC are many times about $150k. The rent controlled were from 70s after all those who could did their flight to the burbs and NYC was crack infested. It's not that you wouldn't have been able to get one of those if you asked for one. It's just that you would have been living in the burbs back then instead. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:43 PM Flag
»
Oh I know people who are doing well and have inherited a 5BR apartment from their parents. Fairly sweet [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:50 PM Flag
»
Right. Many fixate of the top 1% rent control deals gotten in a corrupted way, like Mia Farrow or like the old lady from The View... but always forget about the +80% of the units that are studios, tiny 1 bedrooms, are way above 96th street. I'm all about talking about it, but it's not about the program per se, it's about how corrupted people like these 2 are. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:56 PM Flag
»
What old lady from Th View? Mia Farrow had rent stabilized? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:45 PM Flag
»
Oh woe is me, young professionals can't afford NYC anymore - those grandmothers who have lived in NYC since like the Roosevelt era are really 'slapping' us in our 'faces' [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:58 PM Flag
»
LOL ITA how entitled are these kids of the whites who engaged in white flight when the quality of life in Manhattan wasn't acceptable to them. Now that they are back, they want to kick hte old timers who stayed put out to make room for themselves because.... the burbs are out and the cities are IN! They reak of entitlement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:05 PM Flag
»
Their argument is seriously: rent control is bad policy because it badly affects ME [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:13 PM Flag
»
When's the last time you were in a rent controlled or rent stabilized apartment? I grew up in one and my SIL lives in a new one. They are a golden noose. In my case my dh and I have had to turn down promotions or job growth so as not to exceed the income cap. We have a ton of space but the bathrooms and kitchen are old as nasty and the walls need about 18 layers of paint stripped off. In my SIL case she will be out on her but in 20 years with nothing. In theory she could save the money she would be spending on full market rent but that almost never really happens and she couldn't afford full market rent anyway. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:40 PM Flag
»
She MAY not save it, but she has the choice to. I do not have that choice since my apartment is market price [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:42 PM Flag
»
Our neighbors are also rent-stabilized and have paid for their own remodeling. So they have a nicer bathroom and kitchen than anyone else. Yes, they put $20K into it, but that's just a drop in the bucket of their savings. They also sent their kid to private school and have a house upstate. If you are smart with money, then you really can have it all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:43 PM Flag
»
They can lose their apartment doing that. If there landlord wanted he could break their lease tomorrow. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:23 PM Flag
»
Really? Because our LL hates these tenants and would LOVE to get rid of them. But I thought that once you are in a rent-control, no one can touch you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:45 PM Flag
»
No, there are a bunch of ways. Any renovation beyond maintenance that adds value to the unit, the landlord can break the lease. He can also do a major capital improvement to break the leases but there are still some older tenants who would be protected (but their kids couldn't take over the unit). However, these routes are expensive. If a tenant puts in a dishwasher and the owner finds out, the tenant can just remove the dishwasher if the owner threatens to break the lease. It is a big mess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:56 PM Flag
»
You are not allowed to own another home. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:47 PM Flag
»
But they do. Maybe it's in someone else's name, but it would be very easy to put a second home in your parent's name, for example. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:56 PM Flag
»
+ If the building found out they can lose their apartment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:57 PM Flag
»
"In my case my dh and I have had to turn down promotions or job growth so as not to exceed the income cap" Your sister will not have that problem. You don't get kicked out if you make more. They WANT your income to go up so that you don't have problems paying the rent. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:58 PM Flag
»
I'm talking about the new 421 tax abatement system BTW, we have a rent stab thanks to that program. My DH just got a huge wage raise but we don't have to worry. Home prices in NYC are insanely high bc of rates being so low. We can't buy or we will expose ourself to price adjustments once rates go back to normal. Solving housing in NYC is tricky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:59 PM Flag
»
"the walls need about 18 layers of paint stripped off" We moved to our brand new rent stab a decade ago. Each 3 years the landlord paints it. The maintenance is pretty good because we have a live in super. They just changed our microwave instead of fixing it (which I think was possible to do). Ditto with the dishwasher. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:00 PM Flag
»
"In theory she could save the money she would be spending on full market rent but that almost never really happens" WHY!?!? We save a TON for our retirement. Why can't she save? The few people who can't manage to save maybe should get a mortgage, that's forced savings (with a ton of transaction costs, interests... so not efficient at all. But better than spending too much and not saving a thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:02 PM Flag
»
Most people don't. They don't calculate how much they are actually saving and put that aside. When SIL is 48 she will be out. With some savings and no equity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
»
You just pay for the upgrades yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:03 PM Flag
»
THIS!!! Or you make the improvements yourself. How tough is to paint the wall properly? Well... some can't even handle that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:05 PM Flag
»
Seriously. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:20 PM Flag
»
The paint you could do. We have in our living room but it was bloody expensive because there was lead paint in there. Any renovations or improvements nullify the lease. I know people with rent control apartments who can't have dishwashers because there wasn't one when they signed the lease 20+ years ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:28 PM Flag
»
You can't. It breaks your lease if you do any upgrades. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:26 PM Flag
»
We have a rent stabilized, a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom like most people in my building. We are all rent stabilized, but it's uptown which is not snob enough for many people. So there's always a compromise, a trade off. We got it because back in 2005/6 everybody and their dog was obsessed with buying at insanely high prices. Believe it or not, we had to hand in several times more documentation than what a mortgage was required back then. Great decision though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:41 PM Flag
»
oh no......more documentation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:48 PM Flag
»
People didn't want to put up with it. Can you believe it? I gladly put the 3 lbs of docs together and beg for our unit!!!! So glad we did. It took the landlord more than 1 year to fill up our building. A lot of us have been living here fro the past decade, there's little turn over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:53 PM Flag
»
This was back then when the NINJA loans and the ARMs were all the rage. Fogging a mirror was the only requirement to get a mortgage. Income was not documented, so people claim to earn $350,000 as a gardener. It was insane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:54 PM Flag
»
You are kind of missing the point of rent control. They point is so that you don't move in on Grandma's apartment, not so you can easily live in NYC as a very remarkable person. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:56 PM Flag
»
?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:02 PM Flag
»
Typing two question marks really doesn't communicate anything, except to yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:11 PM Flag
»
I live in a huge three bedroom in a not so sexy neighborhood that's close to Manhattan. My DS goes to private school and I pay for any renovations myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:04 PM Flag
»
Owner or rent stab? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:06 PM Flag
»
Rent stab. We will probably buy something next year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:19 PM Flag
»
I lived in a rent stabilized apartment. I got booted out after three years when they converted the building to condo. My option was to buy my ridiculously overpriced unit at a 8% reduction. Construction is still going on but I bet they will drop their prices. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:49 PM Flag
»
We lived 3 in a rent stabilized studio and saved enough for a downpayment to buy in a good ps neighborhood. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:50 PM Flag
[ - ] Slightly FWP but my vision recently went to crap and I had to get progressive lenses. It made me feel really old (I am only 40) and unattractive (not the glasses, just the the need for bifocals!) I only used to need glasses for reading/computer as I am just mildly farsighted but I guess age messes that up and now I can't see near or far well. I am having a hard time getting used to wearing glasses all the time even though I got some pretty stylish ones as well as prescription sunglasses. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:17 PM Flag
»
I am 40 and have been wearing bi-focals/progressives for years. With no-line progressives, no body knows how many focals you need (I had tri-focals for a while). Get some awesome frames -- it's like an accessory for your face. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:18 PM Flag
»
Everyone's eyes change around 40. It's a turbulent time for vision but then things settle down again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:26 PM Flag
[ - ] Fashion moms: What would you wear to an "Old Hollywood" themed gala. I'm looking for a dress that's just a nod to the theme without being costumey. For reference- I'm 5'7, 130ish lbs, 34D, so can't go too low cut. Oh, and a guy I'm interested in is actively involved in this organization with me and will definitely be there :) TIA! 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:14 PM Flag
»
You have a great figure for any kind of 40s/50s inspired dress. Check Anthropologie. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:16 PM Flag
»
You can go low. A 34d isn't that big. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:19 PM Flag
»
This. F-cup here. Your Ds are adorable. But, I presume this gala will be stocked with flat-chested WASP types? Then especially use your assets to sidle up to the guy you like. All in the name of "Old Hollywood" of course. "Oh, hi, Andrew. Did I bump into you with my boobs? Just channeling Vivienne Leigh." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:23 PM Flag
»
Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:32 PM Flag
»
do a grecian gown. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:20 PM Flag
»
I would do a slinky silk dress and a headpiece. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:20 PM Flag
[ - ] How do I re-ignite feelings for my wife? Details below 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:09 PM Flag
»
Married for a while now, good times and bad times, we've talked about breaking up several times throughout the marriage, but always pulled back from the brink. I've recently come to terms with it though, but the wife seems to want to stay together. Currently having an affair with a much younger girl (who incidentally may be carrying my kid). It's all romance and sex right now but I don't think we're compatible and I'm going to end it soon. I want to get back to a good place with my wife but can't stop thinking about the other woman. Is there any hope or should I just give up on my marriage? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:09 PM Flag
»
Obtain some good MDMA. Rent a cabin for a long weekend with her. Therapeutic roll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:09 PM Flag
»
Not a bad idea, but I'm just having trouble getting at all excited about seeing her or having sex with her. Do people get over these things in a marriage? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:09 PM Flag
»
no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:38 PM Flag
»
Let the fling with the other woman fizzle out before trying to your resuscitate your marriage. Make sure the other woman gets an abortion [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:10 PM Flag
»
How do I get her to do that? fling's been going on for 2 months but we seem to be getting deeper and deeper, I've been foreshadowing it with her and she's expecting it and bracing for it, but I'm personally broken up over it too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:10 PM Flag
»
Drive her to the clinic and make her get one. Having a bastard with her is a pretty surefire way to end your marriage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:10 PM Flag
»
I don't think I could do that to this girl. Biologically she would have trouble carrying a baby to term, so it'll likely be miscarried anyways. But she said she may want to try to keep it because it would be hard for her to have a kid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:10 PM Flag
»
np: Well, all of your kids can all play together! How many do you have with DW already? Add one more college tuition to the mix! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:45 PM Flag
»
God, both you and OP are obscenely lacking in character. You don't make a person get an abortion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:12 PM Flag
»
No, no, you're doing it totally right so far; have affair with younger woman, get her pregnant, realize romance and sex only goes so far. Your actual wife whom you married and exchanged vows with is probably starting to already look like a pretty good bet now, right? Carry on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:13 PM Flag
»
np: try not to sound so bitter about random internet people [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:17 PM Flag
»
Zzzzzzzz [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:22 PM Flag
»
Incidentally, huh? Not so incidental. You are a mess. Do your wife a favor, and tell her so she feels better about a divorce. Bad times in a marriage does not excuse an affair, and an OW carrying your child just shows you where you're at in life. Seriously, do your wife a favor. You're awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:36 PM Flag
»
Uh huh. This I don't believe. And if you're sleeping with a "girl," you could be in trouble with the law, dude. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:45 PM Flag
»
You don't [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:10 PM Flag
»
Get her to lose weight [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:11 PM Flag
»
nah wife is thin pretty and still looks mid-20s. it's more the history/memories of awful fights, shortness of temper, incompatible approaches to problem solving, differences in communication, sense of humour... fuck we're not compatible at all either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:11 PM Flag
»
just move on.you won't be happy until you do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:39 PM Flag
»
i'm not sure it's really possible to create the kinds of feelings u have in a brand new relationship with someone you've been with for 5+ years. if u just want to enjoy each other's company again then there are plenty of ways to start that journey. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:11 PM Flag
»
1. Stop cheating. 2. Cut off all emotional relationships with other women who are not family members. Do not flirt with other women; do not socialize with other women. 3. Stop looking at porn and jack off sparingly. 4. Force yourself to initiate physical contact with your wife on a regular basis. For example, give her a long hug when you first see her after work. Sit beside her on the couch. Lay next to her in bed in the morning for awhile before getting up. 5. If she is being a bitch or being cold, have an earnest, non-confrontational talk with her about it. Try to avoid the conversation turning into a negotiation for your wife's affection. Once she buys into improving your relationship, call out her shitty treatment of you in a non-confrontational way whenever she treats you like shit. Don't let her goad you into an argument. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:11 PM Flag
»
ty monogamy masterman [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:12 PM Flag
»
just lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:12 PM Flag
»
Leave all of these women and get a vasectomy. Then have all the young girlfriends you want. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:15 PM Flag
»
Divorce and stay single. You don't deserve a committed partner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:16 PM Flag
»
It doesn't matter what I deserve, I have multiple committed partners as it is [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:22 PM Flag
»
You're a troll. Nexxxxt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:25 PM Flag
»
I'd get a 3rd then. The first two are not up to standard. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:26 PM Flag
»
wuuuuuuuuuuuuuut. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:23 PM Flag
»
Do you have children with your wife? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:50 PM Flag
[ - ] Q for HR/hiring managers. I've been at my job 7 months. I was very excited but it is NOT at all what I expected and am miserable (horribly unethical office with a seriously bipolar abusive Executive Director). My immediate boss who I really like is resigning (really high turnover in this department), so now I really have to get out. How do I explain this in a cover letter or interviews with future employers without sounding negative? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:07 PM Flag
»
You never, ever say anything negative about a former employer. Focus on the positive aspects of the new job and how you think you can help the new company. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:08 PM Flag
»
OP: I know this, but the fact that I've been here just 7 months is going to be a red flag. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:16 PM Flag
»
I agree with posts below about the boss leaving and changes in the department and how lovely the job was but you would like to seek a comparable or better opportunity elsewhere and opportunity X at Company Y is exactly what you are looking for. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:28 PM Flag
»
Sorry to hear this. Could you follow your immediate boss to wherever he/she is going? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:09 PM Flag
»
You can say your boss is leaving and high turnover. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:10 PM Flag
»
Say your boss left and the job position changed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:19 PM Flag
»
+1 - this happens a lot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Is Matt Damon doing a Kaitlin? http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3147242/Matt-Damon-debuts-luscious-ponytail-Great-Wall-conference.html 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:06 PM Flag
»
i like it on him [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:08 PM Flag
»
He'd make an Ugly woman [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:08 PM Flag
»
nothing that a Vanity Fair photoshoot and some plastic surgery won't fix [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:10 PM Flag
»
True [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:11 PM Flag
»
Seems to be part of the look/makeup in his movie that is debuting (15th century China). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:09 PM Flag
»
Not funny, and I don't even like Matt that much [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Friend of mine is a single mom and introduces DD (2) to guys she is seeing right away. I feel like it's got to be hard on the kid seeing people come and go like that (there have been like 4, not including her mostly deadbeat father), but I am certain my friend has no clue this could be an issue. Do you think it is? I'll probably MYOB regardless, but I am curious. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:04 PM Flag
»
I think because she is two, it's no big deal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:07 PM Flag
»
I think it depends on how much contact the kid has with these men. If the mom drags her around with the guy, then that's crazy. If it's an introduction, and she's only 2, I don't see a huge issue, but I wouldn't do it. I always thought that if I found myself in this situation, that I'd wait a year before introducing my kids to someone I'm dating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:09 PM Flag
»
She's too young to know and thinks any men or women who come or go are "mommy's friends." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:09 PM Flag
[ - ] If a co-worker sends me an e-mail that's intended for someone else, am I expected to do more than reply and tell co-worker that I do not work on this project and believe she meant to send it to another person? Apparently, when I responded that way, the co-worker said "sorry, this was meant for Amanda!" Well, Amanda and the co-worker were furious because I did not forward that to Amanda. I assumed I had no responsibility beyond telling her I was not intended recipient. It's not my responsibility to get her in contact with "Amanda." People are insane. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:04 PM Flag
»
You did the right thing. You couldn't be sure who it was/wasn't supposed to go to, and whether the sender might have got in trouble for sending details to the wrong person. Ignore. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:12 PM Flag
»
I would call them on it and say of course you did not feel comfortable forwarding and in the future they should handle all communications. What ridiculous people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:15 PM Flag
[ - ] Men literally only care what you look like as long as you aren't too insane 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:03 PM Flag
»
do you consider yourself attractive? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:04 PM Flag
»
Yes. Probably vgl. Skinny with good facial aesthetics. U? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:04 PM Flag
»
very good facial aesthetics, tall dark n handsome. the problem is that i am attracted to older, hairier dudes in their mid-to-late 30s, with big chests and arms, but typically a few extra pounds around the belly. i find that those types are typically attracted to similar types. i am actually trying to grow into the type of guy that i prefer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:04 PM Flag
»
You have trouble getting guys in their late 30s? That's strange. How old are you? Just try to cast a wide net. Do you go out to bars or just look online? I get hit up by tons of these guys [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:04 PM Flag
»
online. i really think that in general, cubs want other cubs. i have dated a few but didn't like them as people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:04 PM Flag
»
shockingly true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:04 PM Flag
»
A guy will put up with anything that makes him hard. It's really that simple [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:05 PM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:05 PM Flag
»
Haha [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:10 PM Flag
»
reminds me of the hot crazy matrix. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:08 PM Flag
»
This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:09 PM Flag
»
And she has to be above the Vicki Mendoza Diagonal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:10 PM Flag
»
LMAO this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:15 PM Flag
»
Man here: this is really not true, except the insane part. Men prefer you are not hugely overweight or unusually unattractive, beyond that a sense of humor goes way further than model looks. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:08 PM Flag
»
^^^^ woman alert [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:12 PM Flag
»
So why do some men marry women without great looks, but smart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:27 PM Flag
»
WASPy men do this because they want smart kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:52 PM Flag
»
+1. Yes, men are always looking for plain funny gals. It's more like, someone not so attractive that they will leave him, and knows when to laugh at his jokes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:29 PM Flag
»
Just a matter of perspective. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:02 PM Flag
»
Men who think it through care about other things: nurturing (for raising children), intelligent (passing it on to kids), reasonably organized (for running a household), faithful (for obvious reasons)...etc, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:44 PM Flag
[ - ] I have a serious problem, where, if I am not busy busy, I get depressed and lethargic, and hate myself and life. So I keep myself pretty busy. Easy. Issue is --sometimes I am too busy, and then get stressed out. But even that I can deal with. Right now, I just finished a huge project, work is slow. I'm am doing nothing. I hate dh because I start to nit pick and fight with him, and it's awful. Not sure at my point is, does anyone have any ideas on how to keep myself busy? I work ft in finance, three kids, two homes. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:02 PM Flag
»
Do you take any psych drugs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:03 PM Flag
»
Never have, do I need to? Is this mental illness? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:11 PM Flag
»
I don't think so. It sounds like you normal function, and prefer to function, in sort of a manic state. I'm wondering if you drink of ton of coffee when you go, go, go and then don't keep it up when you stop and you get hit with caffeine withdrawal (sluggish, irritable, headaches, bad mood). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:16 PM Flag
»
I drink no coffee. If I do, I shake, and get beyond hyper. In actually am very very careful to avoid caffeine.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:12 PM Flag
»
I'm the same way (always have been and so was my dad). For some reason I just can't relax. One thing that has helped me is to have personal goals/projects over the long term. If I'm slow in one area, I try to refocus on the other pending thing. For example, I've been working on a business plan for the last six months and there's always something to be done in that respect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:07 PM Flag
»
This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:09 PM Flag
»
It is so funny that many people I know yearn for the "slow summer," "slow food," minimalist lifestyle and you are the total opposite of that. What would all of my crunch "sit with nature" friends think about your busy bee life? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:08 PM Flag
»
I know, I'm pathetic. I just really don't know what to do though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:10 PM Flag
»
It sounds like the only thing missing from your life is a triathlon! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:17 PM Flag
»
I do go to the gym every morning! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:51 PM Flag
»
Search youtube for Jim's Big Ego - Stress [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Married female friends who don't take husband's last name are more flirty compared to married female friends who do take their husbands' last names. Anyone else notice this? 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:01 PM Flag
»
I try not to associate with those types of couples in the first place. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:01 PM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:02 PM Flag
»
OK, OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:05 PM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:20 PM Flag
»
This is a DUMB post & a stupid reply. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:20 PM Flag
»
They also tend to be major fugly [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:02 PM Flag
»
So jelly. You sound fat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:20 PM Flag
»
They seem more like ballbusters to me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:03 PM Flag
»
I kept my name and I would love for people to see me as a ballbuster. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:09 PM Flag
»
I always assume that they're keeping their options open. Like their marriage is one that they want to easily get out of if and when they feel the need to. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:04 PM Flag
»
No, but I did notice my friend Allison Smith-Benning is always trying to get us to go to swinger parties. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:04 PM Flag
»
Everyone responding to this is the OP. Stop, you are bad at trolling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:06 PM Flag
»
lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:09 PM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:10 PM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:43 PM Flag
»
This is hilarious. I have not noticed this at all! Sounds like some SAHMs who took their husbands last name are feeling a little insecure.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:09 PM Flag
»
I didn't take my husband's last name and this definitely doesn't apply to me. Professionally, changing my last name wouldn't work. Also (even though this may sound vain) I've always loved my uncommon last name. DH's is along the lines of "Davis" or "Smith." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:10 PM Flag
»
Nope. I'm a total introvert who gets skeeved out when men hit on me and I kept my last name. I notice that women who take their husband's last name and are not confident in their choice project their insecurities on to women who made a different choice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:11 PM Flag
»
There are many reasons, why women do this, not because they want an easy way out. What a stupid assumption. One of the main reasons, is that women get married way later now, when they have established their name in their industry or have lucrative career, or a "brand" of their own, they have already formed strong identity and changing their name, becomes not only a logistical nightmare, which would take many years to sort out, but would feel like a loss of their identity, taking on another persona. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:11 PM Flag
»
Women, who do take their husband's name, don't have a strong sense of self outside of their family. They are ok, being defined by their husband and their family, instead of standing on their own, like an individual. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:12 PM Flag
»
I agree. I took my husband's name and I like being defined as a wife/mother [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:19 PM Flag
»
Married women who took their husband's name are the biggest flirts; and are also the few "swingers" I know of. Women who kept their names seem to be more restrained. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:19 PM Flag
»
+1 women who kept their names are also often more independent, less insecure and don't need constant male affirmation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:22 PM Flag
»
Yes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:21 PM Flag
»
Not surprising since it all comes down to lack of respect for their husbands. Take any girl that insists on keeping her father's last name, if she had been engaged to Chadrick Wellington III, a northeast 6'4 man from a family with wealth and political power, she would be arguing for tradition like a released zoo ape. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:21 PM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:21 PM Flag
»
No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:29 PM Flag
»
Wow. It's moron Thursday. Who are you people and where did all the good UBers go? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:47 PM Flag
»
Ok MRA troll. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:49 PM Flag
»
i kept my name and am perhaps the least flirty person on the planet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:53 PM Flag
[ - ] my infant doesn't really nap much during the day but sleeps 9 hours straight through the night. ped says it's ok, everybody is different. anybody else deal with this? Sometimes i just have to put her in the crib for an hour with her favorite toys to get some work done, but she is eyes wide awake the whole time, looking bored and lonely. i feel guilty. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:01 PM Flag
»
This is what a playpen is for. I only use the crib for sleeping so dc knows when they go in they are not coming out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:04 PM Flag
»
I had a no-napper too. Or eventually, half hour naps at most. It was brutal. Some kids are just like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 03:47 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone every hear of the Sinclaire method? Naltroxene to slow down drinking? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 02:52 PM Flag
»
I'm taking the latter. At first, significant aid. Then not so much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.15, 04:13 PM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions