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[ - ] Weirded out by DD's psycho-educational test scores. Her range went from 99.5 percentile to 2nd percentile (although most stuff was average). That's unusual right? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:29 PM Flag
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How old? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:32 PM Flag
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9 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:32 PM Flag
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I would be worried unless it was just one score. My dd scores really low on anything visual spatial . I know she gets it from me because I got lost everywhere before gps. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:57 PM Flag
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Maybe she refused to do the work? Who is testing 9yo's anyway? This world has gotten ridiculous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:54 PM Flag
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If she didn’t take a test would you say there is any problem? Did she take the test because there appears to be a problem? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:56 PM Flag
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yes. she was being tested due to a psychiatrist's diagnosis of ADHD and probably LD. the tests revealed no ADHD but dysgraphia. Still, the range of scores was freaky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:17 PM Flag
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I can't remember the details but because my ds's range was so great (he had low coding, very low!) one of the sections was not considered in the overall IQ score. It is an accepted way to calculate if one of the sections is very low. My ds has ADHD and probably dysgraphia as well (we didn't do the educational testing that would have uncovered that). He receives accommodations for ADHD with a 504. He also takes meds (he is 13). It is really hard because I think the teachers forget that he needs these accommodations because he is very, very smart and articulate. We have to be on top of meeting with the teachers and communicating with them, even though they make a big deal at middle school that the students need to be responsible for themselves and they don't want to hear from parents. They don't mean for kids who have a 504. My advice is to meet with each teacher at the beginning of the school year - do not wait for fall conferences. If you can't meet with them then write a note to them about your child that first week of school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:33 PM Flag
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it is a sign of learning differences. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:56 PM Flag
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Why did you seek testing in first place ...paych mom here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:04 PM Flag
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see above [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:17 PM Flag
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Yes, scattered score often indicate LD. Makes sense [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:29 PM Flag
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Wouldn't the educational psych have answers? (I think they're quacks but that's me). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 03:18 PM Flag
[ - ] My niece is making communion in a few weeks. It is very important to my inlaws that my whole family go. When her older ds made communion, I did not attend because I had very young triplets and one of my sons is severely autistic and can not sit through church which upset them. My mil has it made it clear that she expects us all to be there. I and son with autism are not going but we are telling them we are and are going to make up that he had a difficult morning and just attend the backyard party after. Here is the dumb issue. Should my son and I dress up? I would have to buy him an outfit and me a dress which I would rather not do. Nobody will be at the backyard party but sil , mil, fil and kids. 34 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:25 PM Flag
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You don’t own one nice outfit? Even pants and a blouse? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:28 PM Flag
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I can wear pants and a blouse. i am not Catholic so I thought I would need to be more dressed up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:30 PM Flag
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No. That’s fine. Kid can wear whatever he wants. Say the tantrum began due to sensory issues over the fancy clothes you bought him. You’re a good person for trying. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:32 PM Flag
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Thanks! I am trying to keep the peace and my sanity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:33 PM Flag
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Your husband needs to stand up to his mom. My inlaws are very Catholic and are super critical that my bil did not raise his kids Catholic, and they couldn't make it to my yds's first communion because it was too early in the day for them to get up and drive over here (2 hr drive). I think it was at 10 am. One of my sils came. If your dh is there as her uncle, that is FINE. Your mil is acting like a primadonna. And no, don't buy anything for the backyard party. pp is right. Just wear pants and a blouse. I'm so angry at your MIL! You have enough going on without her dictating. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:48 PM Flag
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He did stand up for her last time. She called him upset for weeks. He was planning to tell her that my son and I are not going and i stopped him. It is not worth the drama. By the time she finds out, it will be too late. She will be upset but it will be over. It is awkward when sil is sending me directions. He always backs me up. I am more conflict avoidant than he is! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:53 PM Flag
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Okay this is a good plan. It is too bad that she doesn't get it and isn't supportive. My friend had to stop taking her child who has autism to mass at around 9 because - even though he was doing great (and I was at mass and could see) his behavior was different enough that someone in front of her was super dramatic and rude to her about him, sending nasty glares and making dramatic sighs. She was really upset. Her ds was fine had no idea that was happening but she decided it was just too hard and stressful. I feel like your mil needs to learn more about autism and to acknowledge that she is an adult and can be flexible in ways and your family should not be bending over to accommodate her because somethings she wants are just not possible. Does she think he will just magically be able to sit through mass??? And a first communion ceremony is not short! ARGH. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:01 PM Flag
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My son is 11 and he can not speak or sit for more than a few moments. He is very severely affected unfortunately. My mil just thinks about sil and her kids and what people think. That is her issue. I try to be as kind as possible and to have as little drama as I can. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:04 PM Flag
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They would be thinking a lot of things if you tried to force him to come to church! Don't let her give you guilt about not going. UGH. I'm sorry. Have fun at the backyard bbq! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:18 PM Flag
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Thanks. I don't even feel guilty because I know he can't go. I just wish we could be honest without a lot of drama. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:46 PM Flag
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This is fine but ultimately your DH needs to stop being a beta and tell MIL what you will and will not do. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:52 PM Flag
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OK I saw the above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:54 PM Flag
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Is she angry at you for IVF? Passive aggressive? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:52 PM Flag
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No, she just cares what other people think if I am not there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:05 PM Flag
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Huh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:07 PM Flag
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I'd quit this family and stop worrying about religion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:54 PM Flag
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T H I S [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:08 PM Flag
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Neither my family or dh's family is perfect. We do not just "quit" family. I am sure I do things that they find ridiculous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:47 PM Flag
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No. This is nonsense. You don't force a SN child and their mom who is overburdened to do some dog and pony show. The quicker you put an end to unrealistic expectations the better. What OP should do is say: I am stressed. Therefore your Christian family will be signing up to help me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 03:18 PM Flag
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She would help if I went. My fil would definitely help. I do not need to have 4 adults wrangling him all day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 04:05 PM Flag
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I meant help you every week. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 05:31 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 04:37 PM Flag
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I’m surprised someone like MIL would want a potentially disruptive child at the mass. You are doing the right thing, stay back and enjoy the backyard party. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:01 PM Flag
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She would expect me to leave with him. She just wants us to be in photos and she wants others to see that we are there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:06 PM Flag
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Ah, the performance aspect of the day. Got it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:14 PM Flag
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Oh come on then, grow a spine. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:18 PM Flag
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An do what? Tell her I am not going and have her cry for weeks? That is what happened last time. My dh wants to tell her but I do not want to deal with it. It will just cause all sorts of drama. If my dh wanted me to go< i would agree with you. Why fight over nonsense? She is not going to change. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:45 PM Flag
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I agree that avoiding the topic is good but the next time she tries to manipulate your dh with tears for appearances sake, your dh needs to tell her that he is worried about her mental health and aging, and he is going to take her to her doctor to have her tested in case she needs antidepressants. She should not have to suffer - better living through chemistry! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 03:14 PM Flag
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Great idea! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 04:06 PM Flag
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You have triplets and an autistic kid! Wow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:08 PM Flag
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I know! Life is a struggle which is why I don't like an drama. I appreciate the responses. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:48 PM Flag
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You seem nice. Hope this all works out better than you imagined [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 03:12 PM Flag
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Thank you. I really appreciate it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 04:26 PM Flag
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You're amazing and do not have to attend every family event. You have every right to make that decision. Good for you!! PS: nice pants and a blouse are fine. And if your son doesn't have to be dressed up, just clean and neat. I think you're a saint for going to the party after. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 04:54 PM Flag
[ - ] my 1 year old used to be a champion eater but is not that into finger foods. will it just take time for him to get used to? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:16 PM Flag
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Are you spoon feeding? Which finger foods? I would roll slippery foods like kiwi or peach in toasted wheat germ to make it easier for him to pick up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:22 PM Flag
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Give him what he used to eat in the new format [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:23 PM Flag
[ - ] I’m a retired model. I am finally a healthy BMI. I posted a pic of myself on Instagram with a healthy BMI for the first time ever. I look fat AF, but don’t really care anymore. I feel so free. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:13 PM Flag
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I'm so happy you're healthy - but why post on instagram?? people are stupid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:16 PM Flag
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It was just a vacation pic. I didn’t comment about my weight gain but I am sure someone else will! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:19 PM Flag
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What’s your healthy BMI? Mine’s 23 i think, and it feels too high.. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:19 PM Flag
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I’m at 18.9 after being underweight my entire life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:21 PM Flag
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That’s a good BMI. Still thin but not emaciated. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:30 PM Flag
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Glad you are healthy! It must have taken a lot of work to get your mindset to a better place. Proud of you :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:23 PM Flag
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bet DH likes you better now that you're not underweight! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:31 PM Flag
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He has not called me fat yet. My mother and grandmother have though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:32 PM Flag
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Your family is full of psychos and frankly, if you think you look fat, you have an ED. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:34 PM Flag
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men hate underweight women. the only ones who like it are insecure about their own bodies. I'm sure he's more attracted to you this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:36 PM Flag
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What do they look like? Thin, ex models as well? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:49 PM Flag
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How do you figure out your BMI? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:59 PM Flag
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np: google "BMI" and there are a million online calculators that you put your weight and height into. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:08 PM Flag
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Retard [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 04:37 PM Flag
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My BMI is 20/21. For a long time, it was 18 or little less. It has been an adjustment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Why do New Englanders insist that bridal showers MUST be a surprise? DHs family insisted that my bridal shower a few years ago had to be a surprise and it failed miserably. My family lives in South Carolina and it created controversy making the shower a surprise. The same thing is now happening with DHs brothers wedding. It’s like the brides know people are having a shower so just involve them. It’s so stupid. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:07 PM Flag
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Maybe it is dh’s family and not all New Englanders. I grew up in NYC and my family does surprise showers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:12 PM Flag
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You're generalizing. I am a New Englander for 48 years, have been to dozens of bridal and baby showers and maybe two of those were surprised and in even those the honoree was not particularly surprised. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:59 PM Flag
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I'm in New England. I've seen both. Usually the bride isn't really "surprised" when it happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:23 PM Flag
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I hate surprise parties. So rude to try to catch the honoree off guard. Why not let her have the pleasure of anticipating the party (and vetoing the difficult guests)? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 04:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Would any SAHMs to infants be willing to share their weekday schedules? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:47 PM Flag
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I don’t consider myself a SAHM but I have 8 months maternity leave where I am the primary caregiver for DB. The schedule for my 8 week old goes like this...BF at 1 am and 5/6 am...back to sleep while DH takes baby until 8:00 am. Shower. Feed baby again at 9 am. Spend an hour trying to get out of Apt....meet friend or walk while baby naps. Home around noon..feed baby again. Usually have people over or go to a friend’s in the afternoon or nap myself . Baby naps and then is fed again around 3:30/4 pm...by this time I text DH to make sure he is coming home on time. Prep dinner. DH home at 6 pm. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:58 PM Flag
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What does “prep dinner” involve? I don’t understand women who do this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:07 PM Flag
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Sped? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:08 PM Flag
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NP: I do this when I'm home. Cut up all vegetables and other things so they'll be ready to go on the stove around dinner time. I like doing this on Saturday mornings if we are going to be out all day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:15 PM Flag
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NP When I was a SAHM to an infant and a preschooler I would prep dinner (cutting up stuff, making salad, putting food in the crockpot, etc) at like 10 am. The days were long and by the time dh got home at 6:30 or 7 I was DONE. He would finish making dinner. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:05 PM Flag
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I have a preschooler and while I don't always succeed in doing it, the best/smoothest afternoons are the days where I start dinner in the morning, so less needs to happen at the end of the day when people are tired/crabby/need baths/attention. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:14 PM Flag
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Do what? You never cooked before? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:35 PM Flag
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I have dd5 and ds7mo. My whole day is mostly sleeping whenever possible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:58 PM Flag
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Wake at 6:30, shower or read, make breakfast and lunches, leave at 8:15, first drop off at 8:30, second drop off at 9, 9:30 gym or clean up apt. Start laundry, start dinner prep. 12 on Tu/The pick up baby from preschool, other days run errands out of the neighborhood. 2:30 pick up start shuttling DCs between activities. 3-6 Either stay home and cook dinner/monitor homework/host playdate or take a DC to far flung sports practice, arrive home around 7:30/8. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:41 PM Flag
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What's a far flung sports practice? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:54 PM Flag
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Sports practice out in NJ, Queens, Westchester. Locations that take around an hour to reach. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 04:29 PM Flag
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Up at 7am. Nurse in bed. Breakfast at 8. Get older dc to school by 9. Errands until 10. Home while baby. naps 10-12, that’s when I shower, clean up. Lunch 12/1ish then more errands or meet a friend or take baby to a class. Pickup from school at 3, playground until 4. Home to cook, dinner at 5. Bath at 6. Bedtime at 7. Hang out with DH until 9/10. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:25 PM Flag
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Wake up. Attend to baby. Attend to housework. Attend to baby. Try to attend to basic hygiene. Attend to baby. 3pm. Try to get outside with baby. 5pm. Get dinner together. 6pm Listen to dh ask why I didn't do anything all day long. All night--attend to baby. lol. Those are my memories of having a newborn. Got more fun with kid #2 b/c I had 2 kids to worry about. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:35 PM Flag
[ - ] New Englanders-why don’t you believe in central AC in your homes? We may be moving to Massachusetts but cannot find a house with central AC. Crazy 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:31 PM Flag
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a lot of older houses have ingenious ways of creating air flow when the windows are open which is quite pleasant [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:34 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 04:38 PM Flag
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A/C is rarely needed there. Think about Mother Earth! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:34 PM Flag
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Yes you do need it here-we vacation on Cape Cod and it gets HOT! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:37 PM Flag
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It’s a want, not a need. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:41 PM Flag
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Why think about Mother Earth? You mean conserving energy? You guys blast the heat allnwinter long. Heating houses from 15 degrees (outside temp) to 65 or 70 degrees inside. Think about what you are doing to Mother Earth with your nonstop heating, lol!!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:32 PM Flag
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Our heat is on 62. We’re Episcopalians. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 04:29 PM Flag
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It wasn’t necessary until somewhat recently and then if you have high ceilings it still might not be other than on a handful of days. Any construction will have it. Older homes need to be fitted and if really depends on how much turnover there is. The couple who have been living in the house for 40 years may not want to bother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:36 PM Flag
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It’s a real issue in a 2 story house—and there are a lot of them in MA. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:52 PM Flag
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Ironic that you post this on Earth Day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:38 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:49 PM Flag
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Older houses don’t have it. It is expensive, ugly and a hassle to retrofit. SIL is in Newton and has been complaining about the heat for the 20 years I have known her. The solution is not a good one, so she continues to suffer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:55 PM Flag
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So not ugly to retro fit! We put in a 1920's home in Bronxville. Check out Unico systems. Not the big old duct work like the older ones. It is actually designed to retrofit older homes and better than those older systems. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:08 PM Flag
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It totally depends on the house. Not every house can be retrofit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:12 PM Flag
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OK, so buy a house you like, and put that system in [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:19 PM Flag
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huh? I grew up in Mass and we had AC in the house in the 70's. Summers are hot, 80's 90's and humid. My family, relatives and friends in Mass all have central air in their homes currently. Not sure what you are looking at. Also, like poster above, we use central air on the Cape too. Gets hot and always humid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:06 PM Flag
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We have a place in the Berkshires and find you only have a couple of days a year where you might want it. A well-built older home usually takes advantage of natural breeze and has mature plantings to provide shade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:44 PM Flag
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I grew up in Mass without central AC and we even turned off/down the heat at night. Wild times! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:18 PM Flag
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Newer construction has central AC. There's a lot of older construction that doesn't have it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:24 PM Flag
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What are you talking about? I don’t know a single person without central AC! Our house is 300 years old and we have it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:32 PM Flag
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Bwahaha. Because all 300 year old houses have it. Riiiiight. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 03:55 PM Flag
[ - ] A good friend has 2 DCs the same age as mine. The kids go to school together, and her younger DS and mine (2nd grade) are best friends. Lately, her older DS (5th grade) has become very “popular” and has begun picking on my DD a lot. I usually stay out of my DCs’ social lives, but in this case it’s making me not want to be around my friend or have my younger DS play with hers. Plus, I think her behavior is part of the reason her older DS acts the way he does. Should I say something, fade her out, or try to keep the friendship for the sake of the younger DCs? 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:15 PM Flag
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Is your child complaining? Describe what picking on means. Is your child an only child? Sometimes older siblings of friends treat the sibling's younger friends like they might their brother or sister. So your child may just be getting the same 'sibling' treatment. I wouldn't micromanage your child's friendships too much unless there is a real concern. Let your child learn to speak up (they can complain to their friends' moms etc). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:21 PM Flag
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NP, try rereading the post. Start with the first sentence. It's hard to give advice when you don't make that effort. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:24 PM Flag
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And one kid is the same age as OP's kid. I get that. One is older. And what don't YOU understand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:57 PM Flag
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"Is your child an only child?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 04:49 PM Flag
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Yes, DD complains. Some examples: last week, another boy in the class was having an all boys’ birthday party, and my DD was asking him (this other boy) what they were planning to do at the party. Friend’s DS said - very loudly - “what are you, a stalker? You weren’t even invited to the party”, and all the other boys laughed at her. Also, at the beginning of the year, this kid was sending DD fake love notes (signed from a boy the other boys often pick on). He’s a little jerk, yet the mom acts like he walks on water. It makes me sick to hear her go on and on about how wonderful her son is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:25 PM Flag
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^^and no, she’s not an only. She has a younger brother who is friends with this woman’s younger DC. This makes it harder to completely cut her off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:27 PM Flag
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np: Unfortunately a lot of popular kids at this age go on a huge power trip. He is probably not like this at home or around other friends so your friend has no idea. I would distance yourself a little bit, not because the mom or kid are irredeemably evil (this is temporary behavior on his part and the mom is just clueless like many parents) but because this b.s. is likely to continue for at least the next couple of years, and it's going to eat at you and drive you nuts. Even if you say something to her it's unlikely that anything will change significantly if the behavior is just general rudeness (if he were being physically aggressive I would advise you to tell her). Don't do a total freeze, if your younger dc is begging for playdates, continue to set those up, but if you are doing things like inviting the whole family over for dinner, I'd stop that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:35 PM Flag
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Good advice, in addition, would tell DD to avoid the boy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:39 PM Flag
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OR: I think your dd can handle this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:57 PM Flag
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What do you mean by "her behavior is part of the reason her older DS acts the way he does"? If she's encouraging bully behavior, then of course you should pull back on the friendship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:26 PM Flag
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She talks like he is the smartest, funniest, most athletic, talented and wonderful child. She’s constantly telling everyone how much praise her DS gets from all of his teachers and coaches; creating this aura that he is some superstar (which I really don’t see, TBH). And she’s a SAHM who seems to spend a lot of time arranging his social life to foster cliquey-ness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:30 PM Flag
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^^and by the last sentence, I mean that she hosts a ton of play dates and sleepovers that seem very “exclusive” and has helped her son form a little clique of friends that isn’t nice to other kids. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:32 PM Flag
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You call this woman your "dear friend"? Sounds like you kind of loathe her, with good reason. Especially since her little shit of a son is hurting your DD's feelings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:41 PM Flag
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Op: let me clarify - I considered her a good friend until this year. But now I am conflicted. She continues to be nice to my face and very helpful/thoughtful with my younger DC. She’s not all bad, but this situation with the older kids is getting to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:45 PM Flag
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Time for you to slowly fade her, at least until her DS's behavior significantly improves. Which could take a few years. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:10 PM Flag
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Maybe something is going on at home. If she seems like a good person but is overcompensating for her kid, she may have a reason. I posted below about my friend going through a lot and her kid acting out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:46 PM Flag
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You sound a bit jealous [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:32 PM Flag
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np: I don't think she sounds jealous. I think she sounds resentful. Most people would be, in this situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:36 PM Flag
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Op - this, exactly. I do resent her, and I resent the fact that nobody other than me seems to see this situation for what it is. But jealous? No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:42 PM Flag
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NP. I really don’t get this vibe from OP. I have seen in some earlier grades - K until 2 or 3rd grade - that some mothers really encourage certain friendships that they think are desirable. Later on the kids are usually more independent and figure out their own circle. In this case though the mother seems to encourage a mean spirited boy and does not control him in the least. The examples OP gives are horrible and not worthy of a 5th grader. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:39 PM Flag
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She said Mom says teachers and coaches praise the boy. Op does not mention if the mom knows that he is mean. Many MS boys say mean things to each other. It is pretty common. If dd does not want to play with this boy, she shouldn’t. I have tons of friends that I hang out with and many have kids that I do not think are great. My friends are my friends and my kids choose their own friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:16 PM Flag
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Op: I am pretty sure the teachers know he is mean. DD often tells me that he gets spoke to at school for being rude and disruptive. And she doesn’t try to play with him - we never make plans to socialize with his boy one on one (only family get togethers), but they are in the same class and sit next to each other, so it’s impossible to completely avoid him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:21 PM Flag
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Gets “spoken to”. Sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:21 PM Flag
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Make sure they don’t have to sit next to each other. And no, I don’t think this is normal, acceptable behavior for a 10 year old. Horrible person above keeps making excuses for a bully. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:24 PM Flag
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I only posted the one comment above. MS boys can be mean and I think dd should stay away from the kid. Mom is probably overcompensating for the boy because he is struggling. There are always going to be assholes and I teach my kids how to deal with them. If you don't like the mom, don't hang out but if she is a close friend, she may be having trouble with her son and she is too embarrassed to say. I would not drop a good friend because their 10 year old made a few nasty comments. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:29 PM Flag
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PP. I am not the OP, I don’t know that other mom. But I think you are making excuses. I don’t know whether OP should drop the friend, I have no clue whether she’s nice or not. But that boy sure sounds annoying and needs to be dealt with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:36 PM Flag
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I agree but if someone was my close friend, I would not drop her because the kid has issues. Kids go through things. My close friend's daughter started acting out and was mean to my dd. I could not understand why. Eventually, df told me her dh was cheating and they separated. The kid was going through stuff. People and their children are not perfect and I do not drop my close friends over kid drama. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:45 PM Flag
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I would naturally discuss the matter with the boy and your DD in front of his parents, to see how they work it out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:16 PM Flag
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I assume this is a joke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:19 PM Flag
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No, it's not. If I the moth is a good friend and the kids have a relationship, there is no reason to prevent the families from helping the kids overcome this problem. If my child ever harassed a friend's son or daughter, I would intervene to correct the situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:27 PM Flag
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We could be friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:32 PM Flag
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This will be social suicide for the DD, and will also completely burn a bridge with the other family. Women like this other mother will never accept that their DC is less than perfect. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:33 PM Flag
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np: You sound like a nice person but I think this is an overly generous take on what's going on here. The other boy is not "struggling" as someone above references, he has decided her DD is not cool and is not being charitable about it because he's more interested in scoring points off of her to impress his friends. He might end up being a totally nice, normal adult someday, but this won't happen any time soon. The other mom is not going to be able to fix this, and will try to shift some responsibility onto OP's DD. "She is just jealous of him, she whines, she needs take responsibility for not bothering him at school, etc." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 03:11 PM Flag
[ - ] DS is 9mo and I want to stop pumping. I’m pumping only twice a day. It’s not that hard to continue but I want to get 20 minutes more sleep in the morning. Am I being selfish? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Toddler 04.22.18, 12:10 PM Flag
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Whatever gets you through. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:13 PM Flag
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Uh, no. 9 months? Shut it down (if you want) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:14 PM Flag
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So stop pumping! Keep breast feeding and supplement w formula as necessary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:18 PM Flag
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Keep nursing for a while but supplement with formula. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:22 PM Flag
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Only a few more months to go to make it to a year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:59 PM Flag
[ - ] A friend of mine is a about to turn 30. She’s a former model. She would like to start her own models ng agency. Her goal is to teach school children to model. Is there a market for this ? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:02 PM Flag
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I doubt it unless she's a con artist. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:12 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 04:39 PM Flag
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A modeling agency or a modeling school? There are always parents who are suckers, but unless she produces results of some kind, parents start to catch on. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:15 PM Flag
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She's a former model so she would know more about this than I would. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:16 PM Flag
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I agree, I believe she was attempting to network through me. I didn’t want to put a damper on her dreams. She started a YouTube page sharing her views on celebrity hot topics. If a person like Cardi-B became famous why can’t she??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:29 PM Flag
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I know a bunch of loser moms who would be interested in this. One of them created a fashion blog where she dresses her kids up (in clothes from places like Gap and J Crew) and posts photos of them. She would be all over this shit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:17 PM Flag
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So if it were designer clothes than it would be fine? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:05 PM Flag
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It wouldn’t be as bad, IMO - she buys stuff that literally everyone dresses their DCs in, and then acts like she is somehow more fashionable. It’s pathetic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:42 PM Flag
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Sure, there's a market for everything. There's a sucker born every minute. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:39 PM Flag
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There is a market if you combine it with other stuff: etiquette, dressing up, personal care, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:17 PM Flag
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Try flyover [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 04:39 PM Flag
[ - ] My DS just turned 5 and is very social and verbal, but I recently noticed that he doesn’t have any actual friends. I feel like other kids his age are starting to build friendships. DS plays well with other kids but seems clueless about forming actual bonds. Is this normal? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:57 AM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:58 AM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:06 PM Flag
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Are you hosting play dates regularly? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:21 PM Flag
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I do. I feel like the problem is that he’s a little quirky and not everyone wants to be his friend. And he is totally oblivious to this, which I guess isn’t a terrible thing. After play dates, he will ask for the “friend” to come back, but then he seems to totally forget about the kid after a few days if that makes sense. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:34 PM Flag
[ - ] There is a mom in my neighborhood who wears her hair in basically a 60s bouffant with a flip...not quite exaggerated as the one in the link, but that shape/style, frozen into place with heavy duty hair spray. She is fairly high level exec in the global currency division of one of the big five banks; two adolescent sons, cookie cutter mcmansion, etc. She gets her hair "done" every Saturday morning and told me she sleeps in a hair net on a satin pillowcase (like my mother did when I was a little kid in the early 70s)...Just putting it out there b/c I find it baffling. The rest of the neighborhood moms are pretty much all long hair/ponytail or Can I Speak to a Manager haircut...she is 42. 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:42 AM Flag
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Cool [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:34 PM Flag
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How madly interesting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:44 AM Flag
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I guess she never sweats. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:57 AM Flag
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Guy here that's hot. Makes you wonder if she's freaky in bed too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:58 AM Flag
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You should open a window or put on the AC since you're hot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:08 PM Flag
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Wow. She looks ancient with that hairstyle. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:51 PM Flag
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Moreso because of the loose skin on her neck, not because of the hairstyle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:11 PM Flag
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I didn't even notice her neck. The hairstyle is beyond ridiculous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 03:54 PM Flag
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That's awesome. What a character [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:15 PM Flag
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Are the rest of the moms mostly SAHMs and pt little jobs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:19 PM Flag
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Wtf is a can I speak to a manager haircut? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:22 PM Flag
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Google [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:01 PM Flag
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I love her! So sick of the herds of sheep in their stick-straight blow-outs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:36 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:40 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:11 PM Flag
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flocks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 03:00 PM Flag
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What is a "Can I Speak to a Manager" haircut? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:55 PM Flag
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How have y'all not heard of this?! Google [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:01 PM Flag
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I never heard of it. It is Kate’s hair from jon and Kate plus 8. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:08 PM Flag
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Sounds awesome to not worry about your hair all week. She's winning. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:08 PM Flag
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She sounds awesome! It is like that Seinfeld episode with elaine’s Dr friend who has that hair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:08 PM Flag
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That hairstyle looks A LOT better than the can I speak to the manager haircut. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:30 PM Flag
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To each their own. I like The Karen (from Will & Grace) too. Faux hair and all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:52 PM Flag
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I find it baffling that you care so much. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 03:01 PM Flag
[ - ] What does everyone think of Meghan Markle not inviting anyone from her family? I mean I get it that she doesn’t want to I vote the embarrassing or mean people but there is a retired US diplomat uncle and a bishop uncle whom she didn’t invite either. 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:32 AM Flag
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Ugh autocorrect.... that she doesn’t want to invite... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:34 AM Flag
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She's obviously dropping everyone she used to know, family included so this makes sense [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:38 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:40 PM Flag
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I also did not invite people to my wedding to whom I was not close. I'm sure the royals are quite fine with her excluding anyone she'd rather not invite. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:38 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:22 PM Flag
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I'm not familiar with her level of closeness. If she's not inviting anyone, then that's a red flag. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:41 AM Flag
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Well, she's not inviting me! Red flag? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:44 AM Flag
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Obviously! The wedding must be called off ! /s [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:52 AM Flag
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Well, that's exactly what I was thinking! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:56 AM Flag
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And let's get rid of the royal family, too! And split up the UK! That's the ticket! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:59 AM Flag
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Scotland already tried to get out. It didn't work. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:07 PM Flag
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Her from her family. You don't think that's a little crazy? Or is she inviting some from her family? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:59 AM Flag
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She didn't invite her parents? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:48 AM Flag
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Her mother, according to articles on the internet, will walk her down the aisle. There's some kind of rift with her father. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:01 PM Flag
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Oh for Chrissakes you're not going to start in with your muslims/democrats/liberals/barbara bush stuff already, are you? We're just waking up here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:52 AM Flag
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To be fair, OP didn't mention any of those things, but I'd be happy to add Meghan Markle to the list. Lol. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:58 AM Flag
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The OP didn't say this. YOU are the one who is flying off the handle first thing in the morning. What do you do - wake up and go to Urban Baby looking for people to be mean to? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:02 PM Flag
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Get a grip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:11 PM Flag
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She didn't invite her father and her two half-siblings. But the siblings have been nasty -- the half-sister is writing a book about her -- "A Tale of Princess Pushy" (title later changed) and the half-brother has an arrest record (held a gun to a woman's head during an argument, etc.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:06 PM Flag
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She didn’t invite her ambassador uncle either who got her a job in the Argentinian embassy about which she bragged in Marie Claire. How is a retired ambassadors uncle embarrassing? Or a bishop? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:10 PM Flag
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You care way too much about this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:55 PM Flag
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I think no one blames her for not inviting these two relatives but there are others who are not embarrassing backstabbers. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:10 PM Flag
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I don't care [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:13 PM Flag
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She doesn’t want them spilling the beans on her past life. They are not consistent with her carefully curated “brand.” She is such a phony. She’s “friends” with Amal Clooney but not the uncle who got her a job in college? Total poseur. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:36 PM Flag
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Yeah trash begets trash. Sooner or later the turd polish will wear off and she'll start to stink just like the rest of her family. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:12 PM Flag
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Harry is crazy to marry such trash. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:21 PM Flag
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he is, as my DH says, p*ssywhooped. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:05 PM Flag
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I think there’s no way to know what her relationship with these people has been over the past few years (or decades) so it’s silly to make assumptions. She probably has good reasons. That being said, being reasonable is discouraged on this site so people will just jump to ridiculous conclusions. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:51 PM Flag
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600 wedding guests. It’s not like you cut Uncle Stan because there is no room in the budget. Does not invite family and yet invites Hollywood stars who had no idea who she was one year ago. Riiiiight. She’s easy to see through. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:58 PM Flag
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No, not ridiculous at all! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:04 PM Flag
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I think you are the biggest loser on UB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:10 PM Flag
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And you care because you're going to the wedding? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 02:12 PM Flag
[ - ] If I buy a 2 BR apartment in Manhattan now for $1.2 million now, how much do you think it will be worth in 10 years? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:12 AM Flag
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What area? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:21 AM Flag
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UES [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:24 AM Flag
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That's a big area. Rough intersection? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:34 AM Flag
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low 80s and lexington/3rd avenue [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:46 AM Flag
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Probably not that much more. Maybe 3-4% per year growth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:52 AM Flag
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Nobody knows. It could go down in value. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:48 AM Flag
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No true idea. But if you think it is priced right and you plan to live there, it is worth buying. On these regret post lists there are always so many about the real estate opportunities not taken. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:55 AM Flag
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1-2mm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 12:20 PM Flag
[ - ] Good morning UBabes! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:03 AM Flag
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yo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:03 AM Flag
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hellooo [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:24 PM Flag
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Ugh, can someone just make the world stop please. My kid broke down on the highway last night and now I have to figure out how they're going to get to school and work this week, plus get the car towed from where we left it. Why does this shit always happen on a Saturday night? Nothing is open on Sunday morning, either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:26 AM Flag
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AAA is open 24/7, wtf are you talking about? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:39 AM Flag
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I need to get it towed to the dealership, which doesn't open until 11am, and I have to make sure they can take it before I go to the trouble. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 11:51 AM Flag
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Just tow it to the dealership. Don't need to check with them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:10 PM Flag
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It's called life. Deal with it. Man up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 03:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone tried a hypnotherapist to cure a pathological fear? Can you recommend one, esp for a child? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 05:18 AM Flag
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What makes you say the fear is pathological? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:01 PM Flag
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I am looking for a hypnotherapist recommendation. Do you have one? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 04.22.18, 01:37 PM Flag
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