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[ - ] S/O bikini post. I was at the beach today and noticed all the women in skimpy bikinis and all the men in shorts to their knees and rash guards. Why do women feel like they need to wear underwear? It seems so unfair. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:07 AM Flag
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Go away [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:08 AM Flag
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A grown man in a rash guard on the beach looks ridiculous! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:09 AM Flag
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?easier than sunblock. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:10 AM Flag
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It doesn't matter. I understand but it still looks ridiculous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:13 AM Flag
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My husband spends at least five days a week in the ocean. He needs the rashguard and everyone else should wear them too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:15 AM Flag
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My dh and I live at the beach July and August. No rash guard on the beach [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:18 AM Flag
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Forgive me, but what's a rash guard? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 02:54 AM Flag
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You know what looks ridiculous? 4 inch long skin cancer excisions. Those men look smart. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:19 AM Flag
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Sunscreen shirt hat umbrella. Rash guards look ridiculous. But it's your dh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:21 AM Flag
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Yeah then you are stuck under an umbrella the whole time. Get over it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:41 AM Flag
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No. Who goes to the beach and doesn't swim? Rash guards are so people on surf boards don't get their stomach touched up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:07 AM Flag
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Roughed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:08 AM Flag
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No, 45 yos in bikinis look ridiculous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:30 AM Flag
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What does one have to do with the other? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:32 AM Flag
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Go to Europe. You will get your full of hip to hip wiener grips and banana hammocks. Life is not worth living until you have seen a hairless overweight sunburned 60 year old German man in a thong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:15 AM Flag
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Well that is skimpy but Americans are way too puritanical about bathing suits. Swim trunks to the knees are ridiculous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:43 AM Flag
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Its just the style now. Like long basketball shorts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 03:13 AM Flag
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Lmao [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:53 AM Flag
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Who cares. I wear a one piece and always have. I DON'T CARE what others wear and don't spend a lot of time analyzing it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:49 AM Flag
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It's not about a "need". Its about comfort. Who wants to be stuffed into hot nylon/spandex when it's 80-90 degrees. Gotta let the fat breathe. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:55 AM Flag
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Women are much more exposed. Sucks when your not in optimal shape. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:59 AM Flag
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Double standard. Society is stricter with men's dress expectations than with women's [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 03:31 AM Flag
[ - ] I've never seen the following shows: which would you choose for me to start to watch: The Good Wife or Grey's Anatomy? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:05 AM Flag
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Grey [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:06 AM Flag
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Good Wife [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:27 AM Flag
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good wife is way better. grey's anatomy is ridiculous. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:08 AM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:11 AM Flag
[ - ] I recognize its Memorial Day wknd and I might have to post next week, but can anyone recommend a pediatric GI that was actually able to cure their child's constipation problem. Nothing seems to Be working with my stubborn 5 year old and it's ruining our lives. Thank you 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:56 PM Flag
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I'm so sorry. I hope you find a solution. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:57 PM Flag
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Have you tried 1/2 chamomile tea and 1/2 pear juice? We have been to the ER on two different occasions with our now 6 yo DS for what ended up being constipation. The tea and juice mixture always loosens him up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:59 PM Flag
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No that's funny... I was impacted and suffered terribly and pear juice helped me too [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:04 AM Flag
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NP. Not no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:04 AM Flag
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I went through that and the only thing that worked was 4oz of water at room temperature before drinking or eating anything. An alternative is a treatment with Myralax. It also works. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:04 AM Flag
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Mirolax, i use to be you. Worked like a charm, then wean them off. My kid really suffered:( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:17 AM Flag
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Is it Mirolax? I've been calling it Myralax forever. What a dummy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:50 AM Flag
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NYC? Dr. Keith Benkov 5 E 98th St (212) 241-5415. Miracle worker [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:34 AM Flag
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Dr. Barfield at Weill Cornell is amazing! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:37 AM Flag
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My 5 yo is the same. One cap of miralax in water , milk, or juice in the morning and he goes each afternoon. If I forget, he may not go. Another 2 weeks and I'll cut down the miralax to half cap [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:03 AM Flag
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Dr. Robbyn sokolow at Cornell. She's brilliant and was so nice. Dd's Chronic constipation cured. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:13 AM Flag
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This book worked for us. Try it before the doctor. It helped me understand and help my son, who had a problem from age 5-9. He is a thriving, happy preteen now. "Constipation, Withholding and Your Child: A Family Guide to Soiling and Wetting Paperback" – October 15, 2006 by Anthony Cohn (Editor) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:25 AM Flag
[ - ] Is Amber Heard a drug addict?? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:50 PM Flag
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Yes. Totally on the H train. Got Johnny on board also. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:53 PM Flag
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LMAO! Who look up to these losers? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:55 PM Flag
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really? how do you know? are there reports? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:37 AM Flag
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She was a known druggie. A few years back (like 5 years or so) she was in really bad shape. On of the things that she and Johnny had in common was their drug use. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:02 AM Flag
[ - ] Argh dd is the most painful person to be around. I really don't mind if she cut me off when she grows up. Can't wait for college 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:48 PM Flag
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How old? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:51 PM Flag
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9 going on 15 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:51 PM Flag
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Wow - if you feel this way at nine, you will be homicidal when she's 13. Buckle up! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:53 PM Flag
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NP: hmmmmm. Sounds familiar. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:53 PM Flag
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If your mom is still here, talk to her. She will tell you stories about you that will make you laugh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:54 PM Flag
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My mother is an alcoholic bipolar jackass. Maybe I've used up all my patience growing up and I do not have any patience left for dd's brand of crazy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:06 AM Flag
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I'm sorry. Perhaps your dd is bi polar [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:09 AM Flag
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I think you might be right. My mother is very unstable and I deal still deal with PTSD (diagnosed by a professional) at the age of 43. I have two DCs under the age of 10 and sometimes the i feel overwhelmed because their behavior is very unpredictable. Which TBH is normal for a small child but still reminds me of my out of control mother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:11 AM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:56 PM Flag
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I'm not trying to judge (I know tween/teen years can be hard), but you seem really down on your DD, which she undoubtedly perceives at some level. Her job at this age is not to make your life easy, but to emerge from adolescence and young adulthood with a sense of who she is and where she's going. As the stable adult in this situation, you have job of providing a steady hand during a tumultuous developmental time. Again, not trying to lecture, just want to remind you that you are in driver's seat and the tone you set with her will largely be the tone she sends back to you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:24 AM Flag
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NP: I agree with you but remember that OP has had a traumatic upbringing. She's just reacting like her own mother most likely did. She's just unwittingly repeating a pattern. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:30 AM Flag
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Some kids are just born difficult [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:06 AM Flag
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Thank you for saying this. My 8 yo DD is as nasty as anything. Her brothers are easy and nice. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:15 AM Flag
[ - ] What do young children wear to funerals? Girls 4 & 6, and a 7yo boy. Thanks. 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:39 PM Flag
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Dresses and suit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:40 PM Flag
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What color dress? They obviously don't own any black. Is navy ok? Or purple? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:40 PM Flag
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Navy is fine [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:41 PM Flag
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Thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:42 PM Flag
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My DDs under age 6 own lots of black dresses, mainly Zara [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:42 PM Flag
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Ok...... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:46 PM Flag
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Why would they not own black? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:45 AM Flag
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Don't take kids to funerals!!! It's child abuse! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:40 PM Flag
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ITDA, a fact of life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:41 PM Flag
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Stop [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:45 PM Flag
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It's important to say goodbye to loved ones and not just make them disappear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:51 PM Flag
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Hope you're being sarcastic. If not, get a grip. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:57 AM Flag
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My 7 year old ds wore a dress shirt and khakis [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:40 PM Flag
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Just not really bright colors [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:41 PM Flag
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Relative? Or remote family friend and what is setting for funeral? I went to one where DD age 5, wore her pink Tutu to her Dad's funeral, no one batted an eye [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:41 PM Flag
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Grandfather. Traditional, conservative. Do you think navy is ok for the girls? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:42 PM Flag
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Yes. It's dark and somber and no one is older than 7 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:44 PM Flag
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Thank you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:45 PM Flag
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Absolutely perfect. So is burgandy, grey, dark green, brown, -- any muted colors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:45 PM Flag
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I would say yes. My mother was from the South and very conservative. She felt that no one under the age of 16 should ever wear all black. Too depressing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:46 PM Flag
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To me, kids attending funerals are totally depressing. Unless it's their parents funeral. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:49 PM Flag
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NP I'm fine with it. Circle of life [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:51 PM Flag
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Right because in that case it's not depressing...? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:51 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:53 PM Flag
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Omg that image is so heartbreaking [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:52 AM Flag
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My DDs wore charcoal dresses for their grandfather's funeral. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:50 PM Flag
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Sorry for your loss [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:07 AM Flag
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Get a sitter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:45 AM Flag
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i found a black dress for dd at that age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:10 AM Flag
[ - ] Home alone and want to watch a great movie. Recommendations? I like dramas, foreign films, indies, etc 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:29 PM Flag
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i like the two classics -- A Room with a View and Amadeus. i also like some iranian flicks. Children of Heaven, White Balloon, Taste of Cherries and some of the The Day I Became a Woman is good. there is a korean flick called Oasis. it's a little hard b/c of the subject matter but very good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:47 PM Flag
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i also remember angels and insects. pretty good though a bit disturbing. next stop wonderland was pretty good. the house of yes, again disturbing but good. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:09 AM Flag
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I rewatched Michael Clayton recently, didn't realize how good it still was and how much I had forgotten [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:53 PM Flag
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The Snapper, Away from Her, Antonia's Line .. those are all films that have resonated with me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:55 PM Flag
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Au Revoir a La Reine, Babette's Feast [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:56 PM Flag
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Au Revoir Les Enfants is also great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:11 AM Flag
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I actually liked Rikki and the Flash [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:03 AM Flag
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Dirty Pretty Things. And of course The English Patient. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:04 AM Flag
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the english patient is so crap. every man in the movie is devastatingly handsome except for the husband, of course. so cheap and lame. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:09 AM Flag
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np: I totally agree. I hated that movie. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:12 AM Flag
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It's a big budget Hollywood Movie. Not a documentary. You know The Wizard of Oz is fiction also, right? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:13 AM Flag
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the book wasn't written that way. they cheapened it to make the extramarital affair acceptable/palatable to the audience. the book wasn't really about the passion of the affair. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:08 AM Flag
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The Hunt for Red October, The Lives of Others, Godfather I & II, Gladiator. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:11 AM Flag
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Son of Saul [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:38 AM Flag
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Posted earlier that I really liked The Witch. The accents are so thick it might as well be foreign lol [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:46 AM Flag
[ - ] At what age did you move your kids into a booster seat? My five yr old is hating his car seat..but he's on the short side, 37lbs. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:23 PM Flag
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We don't live where we drive often (in the City) but used 5 pt harness until the end of 1st Grade, DC was 7 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:26 PM Flag
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^^my DC told me it was embarassing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:27 PM Flag
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Height and weight not age [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:31 PM Flag
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There is an age factor, you are in 3rd Grade and you will be made fun of [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:35 PM Flag
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Ok do whatever you want based on peer pressure [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:36 PM Flag
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CDC says for 5 up, a booster [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:39 PM Flag
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Did you read the *? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:44 PM Flag
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I did and CDC goes by age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:45 PM Flag
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I just read the CDC rec and the * referred to variances in growth. Whatever [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:47 PM Flag
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40 is bare, bare minimum. Not ideal to move at 40 lbs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:43 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:49 PM Flag
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My 4 yo is 40 lbs and still in the car seat. Maybe in a year or so [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:19 AM Flag
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5 yo @ 37 pounds. Britax pinnacle [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:07 AM Flag
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we started booster seat at 4 - dc was/is tall tho. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:10 AM Flag
[ - ] i love how when italian women get "dressed up" for work/business/school, they wear the stupidest shit. i saw a mother at a school meeting and she wore a tight black lycra dress with a keyhole cutout at the center bust. she wore some squeeze bra and there was literally a vertical cleavage -- somethign like ")(". and she was wearing at least 3-1/2 inche heels. how did that come about? i see this everywhere. 35 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:19 PM Flag
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Where do you live? No Italians around us :-( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:23 PM Flag
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these are italians in italy. they are really nice. but they dress like they are going clubbing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:30 PM Flag
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My dd goes to school with a lot of moms from Poland and they dress he same way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:44 PM Flag
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lmao. i am not surprised. it is also a eastern european thing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:48 PM Flag
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Where do you live? I am Italian and don't dress like that remotely. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:23 PM Flag
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She's jelly, I've NEVER EVER seen an obese Italian woman. They age so much better than Americans. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:25 PM Flag
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you have NEVER seen one? you have maybe NEVER been to italy? i didn't say they are fat or ugly. i said they dress like they're trying to get someone aroused. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:31 PM Flag
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I go to Italy every year in summer, so tend to see them in bikinis. It's impressive how much less fatter they are in comparison to American females. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:32 PM Flag
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but NEVER obese? surely, you jest. nyc women, btw, are not ANY fatter! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:34 PM Flag
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Take the subway going north in Manhattan, as soon as you hit the middle of the UWS the waists begin to disappear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:37 PM Flag
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that's b/c there are people going further up north. you go to southern italy, sicily, etc., there are plenty of fat people. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:40 PM Flag
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wtf? Italians age terribly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:08 AM Flag
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You need to get out more. I was just in Italy and I couldn't get over how many overweight Italian women I saw. Big rolls of fat around their guts. Keep on living in that dream world where you believe only Americans are fat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:32 AM Flag
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i am actually in italy. this doesn't happen in the us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:30 PM Flag
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Is it because they don't get fat like Americans who tend to have to dress with tent-like clothing? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:31 PM Flag
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are you a fucking italian? wtf dresses so you see ")(" at work or at a school meeting? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:34 PM Flag
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I don't go to Italy for work nor use it for DCs schooling. I go to the sea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:38 PM Flag
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yeah, then you don't know what i'm talking about, do you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:47 PM Flag
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Be nice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:24 PM Flag
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You hang out with really trashy people. Birds of a feather.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:41 PM Flag
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you have no fucking clue what you're talking about b/c you have never been to italy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:48 PM Flag
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Oh really. Please tell me where I have been. I anxiously await your answer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:55 PM Flag
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not to italy, dumbass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:09 AM Flag
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Hm. You psychic abilities seem to be on the fritz. Must be all that bigoted ignorance you're exhibiting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:16 AM Flag
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you are just retarded. it's ok. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:10 AM Flag
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Lol. You've got a lot nerve calling someone else trashy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:18 AM Flag
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*meant for the poster who keeps cursing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:31 AM Flag
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i didn't call them trashy, dumbass. you're getting confused because you are indeed dumbass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:12 AM Flag
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dumbass? Are you that trashy nail tech from Legally Blonde. Bend and snap, bend and snap! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:27 AM Flag
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never even seen it. offended italian alert. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:33 AM Flag
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I'm not Italian at all. You're being nasty. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 02:12 AM Flag
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My grandma is from Italy. She wears fish net stockings and is 85. Tons of metallic shit. Always had horrific taste [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:34 AM Flag
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lmao [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:10 AM Flag
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Italian women are some of the best-dressed women in the world. Just because you are spending time in the Italian equivalent of Arkansas (where, BTW, you can also see vertical cleavage of epic proportions) doesn't mean that Italian women per se are badly dressed. Just the LMC ones. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 02:34 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone btdt with a DH with anger issues. Theroay failled, he won't try anger management. Other than divorce and therapy how to you manage living with someone with a bAd temper? My only tool right now seems to be giving him space to cool off. I wish he would take more accountability. He was trying to install an ac last night and started screaming F*** and storming around because it wouldn't fit. Today we had a small disagreement and he started to yell shut the f up but stopped himself half way though because he knows I consider it verbally abusive and won't continue hearing things like that. Other than divorce has anything worked in your marriage. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:04 PM Flag
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You could try therapy to better learn how to set and enforce boundaries. GL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:05 PM Flag
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Thanks. I am in therapy now with a woman who saw both of us previously. She knows my husband which helps add valuable perspective and her advise is generally while it's not acceptable he always comes around and calms down. He needs space when he's angry. He tells me the same thing. It's hard because it puts the onus on me to predict when he'll be set off and then just disengage until he's calm again while ignoring anything in the moment or any issue we need to address until he is ready. It's Very hard to live this way. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:09 PM Flag
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I understand it's hard. You have a few choices. You can disengage, and find ways to help you do that. You cannot make DH change. You can divorce. I'd try expanding your internal resources (and external support network) before calling the divorce lawyer. It sucks, but you need to choose the path that's best for you and DCs. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:12 PM Flag
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Thank you for not flaming. I told him if he says I need space I will disengage with the understanding that he will remove himself before saying anything terrible. This resulted After he called me a dumb f*** during argument and then apologized profusely after. I told him I cannot and will not tolerate that type of verbal abuse. He has told me repeatedly that his father spoke to him this way and it's image for him to curse and insult people when angry and that he's trying very hard to change that instinct. I don't want to divorce and have him raise dc alone for periods of time. People are quick to say fight for sole custody and supervised visits however I have friends who have ex DHs who are alcoholics, have duis and anger issues and they end up with unsupervised time after a few months of classes. Lawyers have advised me of the same. I also love him despite this dynamic and would like to make our marriage work if we can. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:21 PM Flag
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Right, so assume DH will not change, and then he has DCs 50% of the time. He'll continue to repeat his father's behavior while you're alone in an apartment many miles away. Your situation is not what you hoped for, or imagined, but there are a fair number of people in the same boat. Try to figure out the best way to isolate DH when he gets out of control. If you're very, very lucky, he may recognize the isolation, and eventually try to fix the problem. Maybe not though, so at least set things up as best you can for you and DCs. GL. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:26 PM Flag
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Well I see a big difference between cussing when he is frustrated and calling you names. The first would not bother me. The second is not acceptable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:11 AM Flag
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My dh can be like this too. He is better than he used to be, though, so I give him credit for changing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:21 AM Flag
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Watching because I have the same problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:09 AM Flag
[ - ] Here's the scenario: I teach at a private school - let's call it X. I was walking to X this week and I teach in the middle school. A nanny (I think) was walking three very young kids to the lower school of X and since we were heading the same direction I heard A LOT of their conversation. The reason I think it was the nanny is because of the topics covered. The first upsetting one was cutting. She began to describe in GREAT DETAIL the process of teenage girls who are pent up with emotions cutting themselves. The second topic I overheard was veiled as a compliment - she said "You don't know how luck you are to have the life you have." Then she proceeded to tell the kids about an acquaintance who took a gun and "blew the brains out" of his wife. What would you do? I swear you cannot make this stuff up..... I feel obligated to let the parents know but as a teacher at the school (in a higher division) I think perhaps the parents would be offended? Also, I have no idea who the kids are and who their parents are...I don't know...It is really bothering me. 68 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:48 PM Flag
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I honestly see no problem with this. I'm a sahm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:50 PM Flag
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for a first and second grader (approximately?) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:53 PM Flag
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You have no idea how the conversation started and yes for a 1 or 2 grader. I never hid stuff from dc. We watched the news and answered questions. I'm not saying it's wrong for you to think its bad for your children -- I'm simply saying as a mom I have no problem with what you posted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:55 PM Flag
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I would never want a 7 year old girl to know about cutting or a man taking a gun and shooting his wife's brains out....I think the nanny is jealous of these kids' lives and wants to plant terrible seed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:57 PM Flag
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The differences are what make life fun, right? If your child asks about cutting because she hears it at school from a friend who has an older sister recently hospitalized, what will you do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:00 PM Flag
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um, she won't hear about it in school until at least middle school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:01 PM Flag
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She's IN school. First or second grade according to OP. so, what would you say if your second grader came home asking? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:03 PM Flag
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WTF. the kids wouldn't have heard except an ADULT decided to inject it into their lives. wtf is wrong with you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:07 PM Flag
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You seem to not understand the presented situation. 2nd graders have older siblings [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:11 PM Flag
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middle schoolers DO NOT discuss mental anguish with their "snotty little kid" brothers and sisters. hello. you are screwed up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:13 PM Flag
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And again, you didn't read the situation. But that's ok. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:17 PM Flag
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you do not get hospitalized for cutting. you are out of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:20 PM Flag
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What? Of course you can. What is your area of expertise? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:25 PM Flag
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my expertise is i am not insane. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:32 PM Flag
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Have a nice weekend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:33 PM Flag
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"Differences are what make life fun..."?? Yeah, if we're talking about music, food, hobbies and fashion. Not if we're talking about spousal homicide, teen self mutilation and other scary and age-inappropriate discussions with 1st and 2nd graders. That's not a "fun" difference, it's exposure to a side of a life that a young child doesn't have the capacity to assimilate. OP, I would want to know about this if I were the parent. I would absolutely not want these kinds of conversations taking place with anyone but me or DH (assuming there was a good reason to be having them in the first place). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:30 AM Flag
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you are insane. these topics are crazy for elem kids. i thought they were at least 6th grade. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:59 PM Flag
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I'm perfectly sane. I have different ideas and opinions than you and I don't make rude statements to people, but I can assure you I'm sane. There is no one way to be a mom. No perfect universal age for conversation. But, if it makes you happy that my opinions are indicative of mental illness, carry on [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:05 PM Flag
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yes. i am happy with my conclusion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:07 PM Flag
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no problem telling lower school kids this? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:54 PM Flag
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Well it seems like people have a hard time believing me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:57 PM Flag
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we usually have trouble believing someone really is batshit crazy when we actually encounter it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:00 PM Flag
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this!! (OP) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:03 PM Flag
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Lovely. Role model to your children when they encounter people with different world views. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:06 PM Flag
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I guarantee your kids go to public school - probably Wagner where boys grope girls in the hallway (HEY! They should get used to that) and you are the perfect reason why I pay 45k a year for private school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:11 PM Flag
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How many people do you speak for? :) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:07 PM Flag
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It's the royal "we" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:07 PM Flag
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at least 2. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:10 PM Flag
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it is troubling but they will prob be fine. it's the risks/downsides we tolerate with hired help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:54 PM Flag
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Np This is not an acceptable risk/downside. People go beserk on this board because a nanny is 20 min late or ate the cold cuts or does an errand between drop off and pick up. But feeding this kind of garbage to your kids brains is ok? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:02 PM Flag
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it's not. i thought the kids were like 7th or 8th. it's not acceptable for 1st or 2nd. but i don't see what the op could do about it. and while it is unacceptable, i also don't see what the long term effects will be except they will grow up knowing earlier that the world is crazy or be wary of their nanny. it's not ideal but not sure what should be done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:05 PM Flag
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You have a moral duty (and perhaps more) for the well being of those children. Look through the directory, figure out who they are, and talk to the Head of the Lower School. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:01 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:01 PM Flag
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(OP) Thank you...I was afraid it would make the parents insecure or make me look bad..but this is what my conscience tells me because if it were my children I would be absolutely horrified. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:04 PM Flag
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You have a duty. Talk it through with the appropriate colleagues, and make sure you're following proper channels. Most parents I know would certainly want to know about what you posted. FWIW, I almost think your OP is fake, b/c DCs' teachers contact home about MUCH more mundate topics than what you mentioned. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:07 PM Flag
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(OP) yes, I myself have been contacted by my DC's teachers about much more mundane topics - but this was on the sidewalk on the way to school and not in school itself... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:13 PM Flag
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You were on the way to school. Even if you were at a shopping mall on Sunday afternoon, and you saw something questionable/objectionable involving a student at your school, you should still run it up the chain of command. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:15 PM Flag
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Exactly. Don't touch this op. how wealthy are the parents? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:19 PM Flag
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THE PARENTS WANT TO KNOW [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:19 PM Flag
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You don't know that. And yelling isn't necessary. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:26 PM Flag
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Any sane parent would want to know. And you're hard of hearing. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:28 PM Flag
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Sometimes they don't. Sometimes a teacher and nanny are simply the help. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:28 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 02:53 AM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:07 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:08 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:08 PM Flag
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Do. Not. Do. This. You are a teacher walking down the street eavesdropping on part of a conversation. Suicide. Do not [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:09 PM Flag
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Explain [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:12 PM Flag
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This shouldn't need an explanation. But, if you are determined to get fired go ahead. Let us know what happens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:14 PM Flag
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Have you ever heard the term, "shoot the messenger" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:15 PM Flag
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Have you ever heard the term "mandatory reporter?" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:16 PM Flag
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Yes. And this does not qualify. Nice try. What do you do for a living? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:21 PM Flag
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It approaches the gray zone. Stop dissembling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:33 PM Flag
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Good way to lose your job OP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:12 PM Flag
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Because teachers get fired for looking-out for the well being of young children. Yep. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:14 PM Flag
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Not unheard of in private school world. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:21 PM Flag
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No, the exact opposite. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:29 PM Flag
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What is your experience? Mine is money matters. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:32 PM Flag
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Definitely. Talk to the LS Head and see what s/he suggests. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:34 AM Flag
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^^Plus, the LS Head might mention it to the kids' homeroom teacher to find out if they have seen or heard anything from the kids or in the classroom that might be relevant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:35 AM Flag
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Fake. This is borderline mandatory reportable. If you're really a teacher, you know how to handle this situation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:13 PM Flag
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It most certainly is not. Where do you work, what do you do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:16 PM Flag
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Talking w/ young children about blowing brains out...as in a IRL situation? Yeah, that's a problem. How about rape? That an approved topic? Anal sex? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:18 PM Flag
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I didnt realize you meant it was a problem. I thought you said it qualified as "mandatory reportable". What I personally think about the issues you bring up is irrelevant in that context. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:23 PM Flag
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You missed some logic classes. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:31 PM Flag
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Go away Trollina. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:14 AM Flag
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I think you should tell the parents what you heard. Then they can decide for themselves what to do. I am a teacher and once I heard another teacher saying something so horrible to a student I had no other choice but to go to my principal and tell her what I'd heard. That teacher ended up being forced to resign. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:05 AM Flag
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So not DC's TT. Phew. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 02:54 AM Flag
[ - ] Do you have or know many women with a part time job? 48 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:42 PM Flag
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Yes. Lots. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:42 PM Flag
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What do they do? I need to work PT while DC is at school ASAP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:45 PM Flag
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Clean houses [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:45 PM Flag
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oh no! isn't that about minimum wage? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:47 PM Flag
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I didn't see a $ limit. I saw need job ASAP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:48 PM Flag
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True! I live in Manhattan, and I want to stay here (though ONLY till DC goes to college, just 10 years from now) and then I'll be moving to Waco, TX or another cheap place like that. So during the next 10 years, I'll have to figure out a PT job that pays highest $ per hour as possible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:51 PM Flag
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Why in the hot hell will you move to Waco Texas? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:52 PM Flag
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Just an example, I'm watching Fixer Upper, from Waco, TX. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:53 PM Flag
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LOL THIS [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:54 PM Flag
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You can be breakfast waiter. Do you have any skills or ideas or is it all up to us? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:53 PM Flag
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What is a breakfast waiter? I have really bad self esteem which got me in this mess in the first place. I'd ideally like to edit books or proofread. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:54 PM Flag
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Someone who works in a place that serves breakfast. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:58 PM Flag
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I had the same doubt, got shy about asking. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:02 PM Flag
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I can't lift trays and am clumsy. Otherwise I'd be all in. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:04 PM Flag
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LOL Finance is my "area" in theory at least. Going to a couple of conferences about Fin Tech to see if there's any way to sneak in without anybody noticing that I have been outside of the labor force for about 5 years :-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:55 PM Flag
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Good luck [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:56 PM Flag
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Thanks! I will need a truck load of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:56 PM Flag
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Can you say you've been consulting or something and have an old co worker vouch for you? Curious how you explain or conceal a five year absence. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:57 PM Flag
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I did great before taking 5 years after having dc (which if I ever mention in male-oriented finance, I get completely ignored, even though I shorted the housing bubble better than anybody and them shifted the portfolio to long position in the absolute bottom. I'm great, interview very well I've been told, BUT I'm a female with a child who has to work PT (when I was working it was extremely FT). What I'm looking for doesn't exist. Maybe it's better to do something else altogether. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:05 PM Flag
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np. dam why Waco tx? Not that I really know anything at all about it, but I can think of a million cheap places to live before Waco TX? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:53 PM Flag
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That's where the cult killed themselves while all wearing white sneakers right? Yea no thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:55 PM Flag
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OMG! That explains the low home prices! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:57 PM Flag
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Wasn't that in San Diego? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:12 PM Flag
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Watching Fixer Upper on Netflix with my dc, the prices of homes in Waco, TX are insane... $50k gets you a home. I'm not kidding. That's 2 years of rent for us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:57 PM Flag
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Wow. But then again, you have to live in Texas at the end of the day. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:00 PM Flag
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That would be the worst adjustment ever from nyc [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:03 PM Flag
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50 k for two years? You have cheap rent and [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:03 PM Flag
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Not wasting $ on housing can get me really exited, give me enough $ for long term traveling every year, I'm 10x7 online anyway when I'm not traveling. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:06 PM Flag
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Then why say anything if you admit you 'really know nothing at all about it'? Waco would not be my first choice other (and I am a native Texan) but the town is revitalizing along the line of Nashville. Def not what it used to be, [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:45 PM Flag
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Part time jobs will not pay you "highest $ per hour" unless you've got some fabulous consulting skills to offer. Get real, dig in and work [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:04 PM Flag
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I need a job too. It's so depressing. I'm 36 and just bobbing with the tides. Feel too old to start anything new. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:52 PM Flag
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Get a job! You aren't looking for a career. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:56 PM Flag
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Yes I am. I need a purpose, like everyone else has. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:58 PM Flag
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Jobs are for $$ not purpose imho [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:00 PM Flag
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I suppose. I live in LA and find the two intertwine. DH and most friends work in film, the and are financially and personally fulfilled. must be nice [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:02 PM Flag
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I'm SO into that point of view sister! My family and my free time are for purpose. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:09 PM Flag
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nursing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:01 PM Flag
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No. More like 20-25/hour. Well above minimum wage. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:07 PM Flag
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Is that amount even worth it with the cost of childcare? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:10 PM Flag
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That's the never ending question [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:10 PM Flag
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I pay mine roughly $45 an hour to clean a relatively clean house. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:47 PM Flag
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Decorator, therapist, designs own line of clothing and sells online, office manager for DH's company, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:03 PM Flag
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I don't think I know any truly paid part time decorators unless they are very well known or established [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:06 PM Flag
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CEO of the Smith Household [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:04 PM Flag
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Bah. I can't stand these basic bitches that write stuff like this [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:05 PM Flag
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All the part time moms I know are either physicians or accountants. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:45 PM Flag
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Do you have any IT skills? Lots of part time/temp IT work. Also event planning, project management. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:05 AM Flag
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Me. Physician. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 02:48 AM Flag
[ - ] I am so sick and tired to have married the son "who did well". We are expected to host and pick up the tab on every single freaking little thing. BIL just running his mouth about how ILs should move in with us when they get older since he always assumed we are taking care of them. I am tired of taking care of people. I am selling my shit and travelling the world when my last kid goes to college. 36 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:25 PM Flag
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So, say that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:29 PM Flag
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+1 I already let everybody know that elderly care is what we will use to even out transfers. Nobody said a word, so it means they agree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:30 PM Flag
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What?! Explain. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:39 PM Flag
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We received much less. So those who received the most (2 households out of 4) will take care of everything as they see it fit. I'm not moving a finger until they at least put in the difference between transfers to them and transfers to us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:41 PM Flag
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It works mostly to make sure that the takers know they cannot come to us for taking when my in laws die and to benefit somewhat of having chosen being independent instead of takers (imho long term, it has to pay big time or nobody would put the effort). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:43 PM Flag
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As the transfers became so obviously unfair towards us, I stopped bothering visiting them as well. If they want to see my kids, they will need to move themselves. That saves me $, time and also exposure to how unfair it is towards us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:44 PM Flag
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Our BIL and SIL aren't the ones "who did well", but the ones who got handed everything to them: free housing, health care insurance, paying for college. OF COURSE they will be taking care of my MIL & FIL. If they wanted us to be involved, they should have insisted on equal transfers. If we are forgotten for the "making our lives easier" part, of course we should be forgotten when it's time to distribute burdens. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:29 PM Flag
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we didn't get handed anything. DH was a scholarship kid. His family is a bunch of leeches. It is exhausting. We are not rich, we are just better off that they are [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:34 PM Flag
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Consider cutting them off, I did that with the part of my in laws that are more likely to be taking from us after they cannot take from my in laws any longer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:37 PM Flag
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why can't we just have a normal relationship? I like that my kids know their grand parents and cousins, I just don't want to sponsor everyone at all times. I can never relax...since I feel I am always hosting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:38 PM Flag
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Because they are TAKERS, they are takers because my own in laws were TAKERS... It is what it is. That's data. What you do is to make sure your own quality of life is maximized given how the dynamic around you was set up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:40 PM Flag
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Wait until you are the only divorced one with kids gone and everyone tells you it's your responsibility because you're the one without life obligations like a spouse and kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:33 PM Flag
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LMAO! Once she's divorced, she's FREE from her in laws! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:35 PM Flag
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Do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:36 PM Flag
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Don't let BIL railroad you. I have learned that people who see that someone else has money try to make that person take over. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:39 PM Flag
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They cannot if you live far away from your in laws. OP: JUST MOVE far away as soon as they begin to need elderly care. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:46 PM Flag
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travelling the world takes maybe five years tops. And that's if you do all the shit countries in addition to the usual. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:44 PM Flag
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and after that 5 years, I will move to a hut somewhere without a forwarding address [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:48 PM Flag
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"without a forwarding address" That's the key. Be as unapproachable as possible. I'm constantly extremely busy meditating when it comes to DH's family. LOL [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:50 PM Flag
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Talk about being literal! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:48 PM Flag
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I've never travelled the world. You said five years and I took your word for it! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:52 PM Flag
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I'm not OP. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:55 PM Flag
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But... with longevity being what it is, the rewards of delegating elderly care to a sibling of DH while traveling the world are getting bigger and bigger. Elderly care could last more than a decade when all is said and done. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:56 PM Flag
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i don't know what pp is talking about. traveling the world is about 5 years. then you'll have to just stand up for yourself and say, "no." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:56 PM Flag
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but do you have enough money to put them up somewhere? that is what we'll prob do with my parents or dh's mother. we know none of my siblings or dh's will do damn crap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:57 PM Flag
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No way! I'm not spending a dime in my in laws. They should spend their own $, use DH's siblings $, then use Medicaid. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:26 PM Flag
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but can you spare it? we can spare it so we'll pick it up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:32 PM Flag
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Of course not! We aren't done saving enough for DCs college and our retirement, we will need at least $2 million in liquid investable assets just for that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:39 PM Flag
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i hear you. my bil and his wife have never paid for one goddamn meal with us. and they thanks my husband when we buy the dinner or give them money. yeah, she's not getting any more and bil is done, too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:46 PM Flag
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Why do you bother having meals with them? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:48 PM Flag
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b/c family get togethers? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:55 PM Flag
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Why get together with people you think so little of? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:10 PM Flag
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they are still family. there are little cousins. you are tiresome. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:15 PM Flag
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Just keep in mind that these get together are 100% optional. Don't feel obligated to do them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:27 PM Flag
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I know! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:27 PM Flag
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What do you do? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone know which Plastic Surgeon Christie Brinkley goes to? She looks amazing. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:23 PM Flag
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i bet there are other ones, too. i think prob the key is to just do it very gradually so you'd have to do it frequently (more $$$) but better results. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:47 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have fallopian tubes removed? Is it a long recovery? I am electing a tubal ligation and the DR told me I should have them removed bc they are cancer harbingers. Any advice? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 09:58 PM Flag
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fallopian tube cancer? never heard of that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:00 PM Flag
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no cancer - electing a tubal ligation but the DR said that fallopian tubes just floating around is bad news - research says to remove them....I've double checked and she has her research right - I am just nervous [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:02 PM Flag
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interesting [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:41 PM Flag
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What do you mean just floating around? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:46 PM Flag
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You're an idiot. Cancer HARBINGER. And yes, my doctor told me the same thing, that if I was going to get my tubes tied then I should really consider getting the tubes removed. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:49 PM Flag
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Do you have chlamydia? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:02 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:03 PM Flag
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This is the newer way of doing it since its been discovered that most ovarian cancers actually start in the Fallopian tubes. Do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:03 PM Flag
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what about cervical cancer, can it spread upwards? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:12 PM Flag
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I just had a bad pap smear and am freaking out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:12 PM Flag
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If you still have your ovaries, that means you still have your fallopian tubes, right? I'm sorry, I am a moron. I posted about having a hysterectomy below ... retained my ovaries for the hormones but just realized I'm not sure how they are attached inside. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:07 PM Flag
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Np. I posted below, I have two ovaries but only one tube. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:13 PM Flag
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Interesting! I should really know more about my own anatomy. I am shame [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:15 PM Flag
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how was the recovery? how many days until you felt decent enough to walk a few blocks? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:21 PM Flag
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See below - for me I was off work for a week and a half, and it was about 2-3 weeks before I was comfortable walking a few blocks without a lot of pain, but that was mainly because they had to cut through my ab muscles in an unusual way and so I got a lot of back pain. If they can do yours the regular way it would be much shorter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:37 PM Flag
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I had one removed, not as precaution but because I had an ovarian cyst removed that was very enmeshed with the tube. If you are done having kids I don't see a downside. My recovery was a bit tough but that was mainly because of the placement of the cysts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:12 PM Flag
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Was it a painful recovery? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:13 PM Flag
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It was, but I think that wouldn't be the norm for a planned removal. The surgeon explained that they are normally done via laparoscopy - very small incision, same as tubal ligation I think - but because my cyst had gone a bit crazy and wrapped itself around things, they had to do a 4 inch vertical incision through my ab muscles. That was the hard part from a recovery perspective. I got the impression that the more usual op is a pretty good recovery. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:28 PM Flag
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Oh, I am SO sorry. That does sound very painful. I am kind of freaking out because I have never had surgery...thank you for explaining [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:31 PM Flag
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Honestly, I wouldn't freak. Find out if they can do it laparoscopically, and if they can, you're fine. The surgeon was very clear with me that my experience was not the norm and was unavoidable because of the feral cyst. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Your 9yo - still in a booster seat, or just in the belt? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 09:55 PM Flag
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Depends on height. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:03 PM Flag
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I took mine out, even though she was still small. It was becoming a serious humiliation in front of her friends and I made a judgment call. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:05 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:25 PM Flag
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My 11YO still sits in one because it's safer. The only kid who ever tried to make a joke about it in our car won't do it again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:31 PM Flag
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Well, then. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:57 PM Flag
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My 7 almost 8 yr old is out [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:08 PM Flag
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There is a 9 yr old who carpools with us and I make him sit in a booster. Without it, the seatbelt hits him in the wrong spot. My car, my rules. We have a thin booster and higher boosters and the 9 yr old needs the thinner booster because the higher one puts him too high. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:14 PM Flag
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His parents put up with that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:25 PM Flag
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of course. He rides in a booster in their car usually. But still, my car, my rules. The parents can drive their own kid. It is my neck on the line if another child is injured in my car. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:41 PM Flag
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Usually in a booster because he slumps so much when he falls asleep. Just the belt when we travel or need to squeeze in guests. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:19 PM Flag
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booster seat. Was in a heavy duty one but she complained that it was embarrassing in front of her friends so we compromised and got one of those cheap slide ones. She isn't tall enough to just have the belt [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:40 PM Flag
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My 8yo is really tall, so he's been out for a year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:48 PM Flag
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Booster, but is on the short side. Probably has another year (assuming growth of 3 inches/yr). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:13 PM Flag
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just seat belt for us at that age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:15 AM Flag
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i hope in a belt. Or the kid is seriously malnourished. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:28 AM Flag
[ - ] Thoughts on WSJ article about Fieldston http://www.wsj.com/articles/watermelon-gag-raises-concerns-at-bronx-school-1464391976 A senior prank unintentionally insulted black people. In response Fieldston cancelled a school wide activity day. Did the school overreact? What about the swastika incident last December? The school underplayed it until parents got upset. Then they had an assembly and apologized. Was the reaction to the prank warranted and in proportion to its unintentionally? Is canceling the all school activity day for an unintentional insult to black people in proportion to waiting till parents complained to have an assembly for swastikas that insulted Jewish people (and many other ethnicities). I was with Fieldston on how they handled the swastikas, not making a big thing out of a students immaturity, even though it was intentional, until they came down like a ton of bricks on the whole school for other student's unintentional insult. 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 05.28.16, 09:52 PM Flag
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I'm confused. How was the watermelon incident not intentional? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:27 PM Flag
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The school says it wasn't intentional and from WSJ article, "On Thursday, a few [students] brought seven watermelons to campus, leaving three in the office of Marie R. Johnson, a dean and history teacher at the school, as well as one in a white teacher’s office and three others elsewhere at the school, the spokesman said. An uproar ensued". [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:37 AM Flag
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How stupidly PC. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:46 PM Flag
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Really? Seriously doubt you would say that if they left a gas mask and a lamp shade in the office of a Jewish teacher or administrator. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:39 PM Flag
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I really think the prank was unintentional. The school says that and, besides the watermelons left in the black deans office, one watermelon was left in a white teacher's office and three were left in different parts of the school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:39 AM Flag
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Still, the swatiska in some cultures is a sign of peace. The previous incident involving that was not excused. Why should this be? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:49 AM Flag
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and watermelon, to some people, is a delicious summer fruit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:52 AM Flag
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And people the world over use gas masks and lamp shades. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:44 AM Flag
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If they left a few in white faulty offices too, then I'd say the kids are kind of absolved. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:56 PM Flag
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The dean, who is black and another teacher, who is white, got watermelons in their office, but the dean got more watermelons. These are good kids. I don't know for sure but I'll bet it the insult was unintentional. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:41 AM Flag
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Talk about an Unethical Culture! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:08 PM Flag
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All I can say is they have created a gaggle of whip smart, socially savvy kids. God help them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:23 PM Flag
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Rich white kids think they are being cute and ironic when they do stupid shit like this. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:40 PM Flag
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Were all the kids who put the watermelon in the teacher's office white? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:41 AM Flag
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They were. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:47 AM Flag
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How do they know who did it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:51 AM Flag
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Well that settles the TT vs SHS debate once and for all [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 11:43 PM Flag
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I can't afford to read the article. Although it seems that everything I need to know is in the first four lines. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:25 AM Flag
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Go to Google News, news.google.com , type 'Fieldston school' in the search box and you'll get the article for free. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:43 AM Flag
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Do high school kids even know any racial associations with Blacks and watermelon? This stuff was not in the movies or tv shows during their lifetimes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 12:48 AM Flag
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Their friends and family teach them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:45 AM Flag
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EVERYTHING unintentionally insults black people. They need to get over it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:10 AM Flag
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Thanks white lady! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:46 AM Flag
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Thanks sorry to be white lady. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 02:24 AM Flag
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I love all the excuses made. Bottom line - it's a coward's act of rebellion. They know racism equals no big deal - some extra class or sensitivity training. Daddy won't really be mad about it, might even get a chuckle from him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:11 AM Flag
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Kids don't know about watermelon [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:18 AM Flag
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This, this was like a 1920's thing, it was ancient even when I was growing up in the 1970s. I don't think a high school senior would even be aware of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:33 AM Flag
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I'm black. Born in the 70s. This is NOT ancient history to those of us who have to deal with smart ass remarks from white people on a regular basis. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:47 AM Flag
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I was born in the 70s and went to a NYC area private. My school friends would not know. Possibly my public school neighbors. These kids know the watermelon trick from camp. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 03:04 AM Flag
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What Fieldston kid would make any type of unPC remark ever to anyone? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 03:08 AM Flag
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I don't understand what is offense about a Watermelon? I don't get it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:37 AM Flag
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Get off of UB and go read a book. You just might learn something. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:48 AM Flag
[ - ] We were at a lecture by a well-known child psychologist today and after dh asked him about a situation with our dd, who is 6 and being bullied by a girl in her class. After asking a couple of questions the doctor declared that we should absolutely remove her from the class if not from the school. He also said because she's one of the youngest in her class we should hold her back a year. Dh is now essentially convinced that we should do at least one of these things. I feel like a) it's the end of the year so not worth changing anything now, and she is very happy in her class b) holding her back would likely make her feel like she is unable to keep up with her classmates and would make her feel worse about herself. C) the bullying has gotten better and we've worked a lot with the school to address it. We have also been told the bully will not be in the same class next year. Thoughts? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 09:52 PM Flag
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Don't take advice from someone who never even met your child. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 09:53 PM Flag
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Thank you! This is what I think. I expect he's envisioning the worst cases he sees of bullying and deducing that we need to make a change in order to help our dd. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 09:55 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 09:55 PM Flag
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As an experienced mom, I say let the year play out. But hold back. Your feelings are wrong on that. She will appreciate the gift. Much more damaging (it comes back in middle school - again in high school - and again in college) to be immature and picked on [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:05 PM Flag
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She's not immature, nor has she ever been picked on before. We have always discussed her age with her teachers and they have never ever recommended holding her back. This does not seem like enough reason to turn her world upside down. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:12 PM Flag
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Did you ask for thoughts? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:15 PM Flag
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I did, but I'm asking for more reasons other than "it's a gift" if she is immature. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:16 PM Flag
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WTF do you want a stranger to tell you?? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:33 PM Flag
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Turn her world upside down? Drama much? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:15 PM Flag
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You don't think taking a kid out of her class and all her friends is extremely disruptive for her? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:17 PM Flag
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She did not suggest that. She said do nothing now but hold her back. You seem to have made up your mind. So, go forth. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:18 PM Flag
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But holding her back will remove her from all her friends. There are 2 weeks left in the school year so changing anything now is nonsensical. But I do not see a good reason to hold her back - which would be extremely disruptive to her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:19 PM Flag
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I posted above, I'm going to try one more time. She won't be affected by it. Children are easy and resilluant. She will make new friends. She won't be traumatized. There are people whose parents died when they were six and they have very few memories. You will be affected. I get that. But she will be fine (and better off in the long run ). Do what you want. But try to entertain this isn't a black and white issue. If you decide to keep her as is, then at the very least try and figure out why the target was on her back and help her get it off [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:27 PM Flag
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If children are easy and resilient, why can't she stay in her grade? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 02:36 AM Flag
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So tell your dh no. What do you want? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:19 PM Flag
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She wants us all to agree with her (not sure why, we are a bunch of anon strangers) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:20 PM Flag
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I don't want you to agree with me but if you don't I'd like to know why. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:21 PM Flag
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Try again later when you aren't so defensive. If you are open to advice it will be easier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:28 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:29 PM Flag
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She's one of the you gets in the class. That translates to immature. Calm down mama bear [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:23 PM Flag
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wtf do they know? you know best. i am serious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:48 PM Flag
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So she trumps dh? Because...? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:52 PM Flag
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she prob knows them better. wtf. i know i know my kids better than my dh does. and we both sah. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:58 PM Flag
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Younger kids do better within a 12 mo group- striving or the pace-setting by the older members seems to benefit them. Don't hold her back! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.28.16, 10:58 PM Flag
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Psych's are full of it. I had 2 experiences. One telling us our dc was disturbed b/c he had blocks talking to each other in the block corner (4yo). I told him ds had friends, but she said no--he needed some therapy to work on issues. Fast forward dc is fine and an adult and always had tons of friends. But he was a theater major--loved play acting. Second kid--told she wasn't gifted and not suitable for gifted program. Fast forward--she's now 16 and in sophomore year of early college. No tutoring or pushing on our part. Always excelled in school. Take it totally with a grain of salt. YOU know your kid better than a hack psych. who makes money giving parents anxiety. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 05.29.16, 01:31 AM Flag
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