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[ - ] Dc is having medical and psych issues and I cannot get them to school. Dc told me that there are several kids that don't seem to go everyday. I sort of know one of the parents of this kid. Should I call them to see if they have been able to get any help? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 05.14.13, 01:41 PM Flag
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I don't understand your question. What do you mean you can't get them to school? You physically cannot get your child to school? You need home tutoring? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 01:51 PM Flag
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Yes, I cannot get them physically to school. Never an issue at all before. Was working to gradually work them back into after a long illness but once there school pushes to do it all and now there has been a total collapse. Feel school thinks I'm just a bad/permissive parent yet I've always been the opposite [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 01:55 PM Flag
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So, they cannot walk, get on a bus, etc. to get to school? There is more than one? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:00 PM Flag
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one kid, yes that is correct [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:00 PM Flag
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^^ gretting dc out of bed at all takes 20+ minutes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:01 PM Flag
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Because he doesn't want to go to school, or because of physical problems? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:08 PM Flag
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^^ depression [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:03 PM Flag
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Depression is very difficult in the mornings. Is it possible to work with the school so that he/she goes in later? Or, that until the end of the year, he/she has tutors come to the home? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:12 PM Flag
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On meds? Seeing a therapist? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:14 PM Flag
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been doing therapist, trying for meds - very had to find doc much less get one to call back [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:22 PM Flag
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Both of them? WTF is going on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:12 PM Flag
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Invite the other kids over and homeschool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 01:56 PM Flag
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I'm afraid if I homeschool that dc will never be able to mainstream again at all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:01 PM Flag
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plus I love my job and have never, never wanted to teach [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:02 PM Flag
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DC is Special Needs? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:03 PM Flag
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Is now I believe - have applied for and IEP but it will take a while, meantime formally stellar student dc will fail their grade. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:00 PM Flag
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Is he/she embarrassed or afraid to go to school after having been out for so long? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:09 PM Flag
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yes, that too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:12 PM Flag
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As someone who has suffered with severe depression, I would say that you and your DC need to take this one step at a time. Right now, focus on getting DC on meds and into talk therapy so that s/he can get out of bed in the morning, and don't worry about the grades, what other people think, etc. Your DC will have lots of time and lots of chances to get his/her life back on track - the important thing right now is getting him/her back to being functional. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:21 PM Flag
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thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:17 PM Flag
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NP: I do think that if there's any way to keep him/her on grade level, even if that means tutoring over the summer, so he/she stays in the grade and moves up with the class, would be good psychologically. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:26 PM Flag
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Have you gone in and met with the teachers and the head of school? You need to go in with medical documentation and agree with them on a plan to get your child back into school. My dd had a friend that had issues like this - they took her to therapy and the therapist told them to make home an adversive situation suring school hours (no TV or computer, no one interacting with her, no special treats) and to have her slowly build up the time she was in school. So she started with like two hours a day for a week and slowly added time until she now goes the entire day. They really had to push the school and have notes from the therapist to get this to happen but she is back in school. It can be done! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:16 PM Flag
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yes been doing this just school isn't a pleasant place for them because they sit in the office and are treated this way in the hopes they'll go to class where the other kids talk about them because they've been gone, dc feels stupid because they don't know what's going on etc. At least dc is now doing homework. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 02:20 PM Flag
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Have them use no-pressure but solid online resources like khan academy and watch documentaries in the meantime. But focus on the health is most important. Consider this the time, rather than their having to do it when they're out on their own someday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 03:05 PM Flag
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thank you all - this is great advice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.15.13, 02:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Any of the public high schools creative, academically challenging yet not insane pressure? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 05.11.13, 11:05 AM Flag
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LaGuardia? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.13, 11:14 AM Flag
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ice? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.13, 11:41 AM Flag
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Is ICE really? Pressure at dc's school is causing a nervous breakdown, 3-5 hours of homework almost every night+lost of tests+projects with firm deadlines or no credit etc. really pointless. And this isn't Stuy. or Hunter, the school famous for their pressure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.13, 01:36 PM Flag
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ugh let us know so we avoid it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.12.13, 02:43 AM Flag
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Beacon, it is not at all what we thought it would be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.14.13, 01:51 PM Flag
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the two are mut exclusive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.13, 12:02 PM Flag
[ - ] my son is turning 15 in 2 months what do boys that age consider "cool"? and by the way, at what age should i let him have a girlfriend 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 05.10.13, 11:20 PM Flag
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He will decide about the girlfriend. Get him some new tech gadget- iPhone ..... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.10.13, 11:23 PM Flag
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iTunes gift card? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.10.13, 11:34 PM Flag
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No. Kids download stuff free these days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.13, 01:13 AM Flag
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Nice leather wallet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.10.13, 11:41 PM Flag
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He probably has already had a girlfriend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.10.13, 11:37 PM Flag
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DH here. Better than even chance he doesn't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.13, 12:39 AM Flag
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Then "letting him" won't matter, will it. Nothing grosses me out worse than parents obsessed with their kids' love life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.13, 01:14 AM Flag
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He probably has already had a girlfriend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.10.13, 11:37 PM Flag
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I don't think you get to decide when he has a girlfriend. Kinda up to him, no? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.10.13, 11:59 PM Flag
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LOL,no? HAHAHAHA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.13, 12:38 AM Flag
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those hoes are prob all over him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.13, 01:14 AM Flag
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Let? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.13, 01:16 AM Flag
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"Let him" have a girlfriend? Exactly how do you think you're going to stop him or even know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.13, 01:19 AM Flag
[ - ] UGH!! my dd just turned 16 now she already has a bad boy boy-friend, goes to parties every night,hangs with the wrong crown and i think she smokes. she used to get straight A's now it's B's, C's and D's. anyone want to send her some where for me please 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 05.05.13, 02:47 PM Flag
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I was like this except for the bad grades and i turned out fine. My parents did send me away to work for a summer at a camp- not as a counselor, as a worker. being away and having to fend for myself gave me some perspective. I drank and smoked through my 20s but am now married with top grad degree, stable job. It's a phase and it won't last forever, but draw some firm lines. i.e. bad grades are not acceptable. Give leeway in other places that might matter, i.e. don't make her curfew 9 p.m. DD is becoming an adult, give a little and fight for the things that really matter (like grades, so she can go to a good school.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.05.13, 02:55 PM Flag
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np It sometimes lasts forever or there wouldn't be so many fuck-ups around. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.05.13, 03:15 PM Flag
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I think that's more the case with boys than with girls IME. I only know of one girl who was a rebellious teenager that did not get it together in the end. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.05.13, 03:11 PM Flag
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My sister is 43 and got knocked up by a new boyfriend at 33. He (the boyfriend--also 43) lives with his mommy and has an income of $3000 a year. My sister hasn't had a job in five years. Lives in a house bought by our mom, who also pays all her and the kids expenses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.05.13, 03:28 PM Flag
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I didn't say it never happened to girls. I just feel like a lot of the bad girls I knew straightened out. None of the bad boys I knew did. Truth. Sorry about your sister, though, that sounds annoying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.05.13, 04:03 PM Flag
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If she is in private, move her to public. No point paying 40k for Cs and Ds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.05.13, 03:02 PM Flag
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That is a valid point [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.05.13, 03:32 PM Flag
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oh dear! GL. i was one of these but i was really bad and it lasted a long time. i was just thinking about how much i missed (academically and socially) in HS + college b/c i was high. all. the. time. sigh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.05.13, 03:14 PM Flag
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+1. I get so mad at myself for wasting ages 14-24 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.05.13, 03:43 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.05.13, 06:54 PM Flag
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Why don't you say no to her? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.05.13, 03:41 PM Flag
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I have been though all this with my DD, 3 years ago (except the smoking) and I wish I had advice for you. DD did change schools, mid-sophomore year, by her choice and the fresh start made a huge difference, But she wanted the change. She could see that she was not happy and was making some very bad choices. Took a scary situation to shake her up. A good therapist helped, too. Anger, threats on my part, all based on my fears, were totally ineffective. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.05.13, 03:54 PM Flag
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Set some limits. She is dependent on you for her nice smart phone, her computer, her walking around money, money to buy clothes. Don't get excited, stay calm. You can't control her smoking or her bad boy boyfriend. You can control her hours and to some degree, her grades. I would just tell her that she's thinking about having fun now and you're thinking about her future. So she can have fun, but not at the expense of her future. That means no weekday parties and she has to be home by 7 every night and her grades need to be Bs and As. First infraction, you take away her phone and give her a simple flip phone that does nothing but make calls and texts (I don't think you can even get one that doesn't text anymore). If she behaves herself for two weeks, she gets her smart phone back. Etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.05.13, 05:32 PM Flag
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No smoking in your home. Her walking-around money is buying grass, so watch out for paraphernalia in her room. Find a therapist who works w/ adolescents and get her started 2x/week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.05.13, 06:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Looking for fun ideas for a sixth grade girl's sleepover at our house. About 5 girls. Along with movies and snacks, what would they like to do? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 04.27.13, 12:48 AM Flag
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Karaoke? Manicure bar? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.27.13, 12:55 AM Flag
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Are there fun board games for DCs this age? A la blind date but not so inappropriate? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.27.13, 12:51 AM Flag
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Get thee to Pinterest. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.27.13, 12:53 AM Flag
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Ah, makes me remember when I had sleep overs in 6th grade. We sat around and talked, went for walks, played with makeup, called boys, watched HBO. Why now do we (including me) have to make a regular 'ol night into a magical and expensive event? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.27.13, 12:55 AM Flag
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I don't think OP is asking for something fancy here... just ideas. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.27.13, 01:08 AM Flag
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You don't! Kids have pretty low bars for entertainment. It's the parents who want to one-up each other. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.27.13, 01:10 AM Flag
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Charades? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.27.13, 01:08 AM Flag
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I have a 6th grader. They love movies, singing, charades/parlor games, improv... my favorite age so far (and I am bracing myself for the future, but for now it's pretty fun, right?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.27.13, 01:09 AM Flag
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I don't think you need to organize this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.27.13, 01:13 AM Flag
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OP: thank you. Great suggestions. Yes, I don't need anything expensive or fancy- but it's not for my own daughter so I wanted to gather some supplies - I'll go get some nail polishes and hey, I wouldn't mind a karoke mike myself. Those and charades are just what I needed. (But I will look at Pinterest for festive snacks.) Thanks all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.27.13, 01:31 AM Flag
[ - ] BTDT moms: HS dc missed two weeks of school for illness and is having problems doing the current work load and catching up. Homework is normally about 3-4 hours a night/ 7 days a week. Any advice? TIA 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 04.26.13, 05:05 PM Flag
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Contact the teachers, explain the situation, ask for help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:11 PM Flag
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We're supposed to go through channels but dc has not been getting any extra help to our knowledge. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:15 PM Flag
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I meant ask the teachers to help you figure out how to handle this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:16 PM Flag
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Talk to the division head or dean of students as well as the teachers to come up with a plan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:14 PM Flag
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I don't know how it would even be possible to catch up on 40 hours of missed work without the teachers modifying the past assignments. He is already working 10 hours a day b/t school and hw. There just isn't enough time to add another 40 hours to that! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:12 PM Flag
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Your kid would fail. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:19 PM Flag
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When I taught high school, I always made it as easy as possible for sick kid to make up work. Less work for all involved, and the kid needs to get better! Unless you have some teachers with power trips, I would think it would be pretty easy to negotiate missed work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:19 PM Flag
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That is a lot of work. In high school I was on the honor roll, worked a part-time job and still had a lot of time to hang out with friends. If I was doing 4 hours a night of homework after a long day at school I would of been burnt out before I got to college. Life is too short. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:20 PM Flag
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NP I agree that sounds awful. Ugh poor dc! Esp no break on the weekends or anything. NUTS! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Love and adore DH but we are really having a strain over our teenage daughter. She's having problems and has turned into a cold, hard ass against her and I feel like I'm always having to repair the damage. He has always been harsh on the kids, funny since before kids he was funny and easy going. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 04.15.13, 06:38 PM Flag
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maybe there is something you don't know about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.15.13, 06:39 PM Flag
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How do you repair the damage? Could DH make an effort to say he loves her even when he is displeased with her? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.15.13, 06:35 PM Flag
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My DH and older dd (now 9) have always had a difficult relationship. I think it's because they are actually a lot alike, and both seem to thrive on conflict. I'm constantly intervening and sending them to separate corners. Don't have any advice, but I can relate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.15.13, 06:37 PM Flag
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OP: Yes that is it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.15.13, 06:39 PM Flag
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I ran interference for 4 years between my teen DD and her dad. Really important not to make your DD an ally against your DH. They found there way back to one another but DH had to do some bending, too. She is 18 and things are so much better now. But ages 13 to 16 were tough, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.15.13, 06:46 PM Flag
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I get in to it with my dd in a way dh does not. I appreciate his supporting me 100% but then talking to me and saying, "you got too upset about something small" or whatever -- so I'd keep trying to remind dh when he is calmer and not in the thick of it. Would he be willing to read a book, like How to Talk So YOur Kids Will Listen.... (or no way?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.15.13, 06:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Our family (DH and I) are considering moving to Capetown. DD is 11 and DS is 13. How would you evaluate the possibility of boarding schools vs. local private schools in Capetown? Any specific examples of Capetown schools would be very helpful. Could we take DD with us, but send DS to BS? Any thoughts would be welcome. We're not decided, just trying to get our heads around the implications of this decision. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 04.11.13, 09:23 PM Flag
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I grew up living in several different countries (my father is a diplomat)- and we always went to an international school. In every city, there is usually one top notch international school (either British system or American), and many other good options. Try to identify what the top ranked international schools is in Capetown. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.11.13, 09:29 PM Flag
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I went to boarding school. The international students found it harder because they couldn't go home on the weekends when everyone else did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.11.13, 09:33 PM Flag
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Board them both near the Cape. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.11.13, 09:33 PM Flag
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moving to another country would be a huge enough change- why separate them from family as well? that would have horrified me. Amidst all the country hopping, the only stability factor was our nuclear family and the "home" my mom created no matter where we were. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.11.13, 10:14 PM Flag
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Good luck with that move. My good friend is looking to leave Cape Town due to the crime. Horrible, horrible stories. Enjoy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.11.13, 11:39 PM Flag
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wtf is wrong with you? it is a beautiful city. She can live in a gated community if she wants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.11.13, 11:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Not sure if I'm a bad or good mom. 15 year old DC is in an intensive musical program that has performances. Also is in their 1st year at an intensively academic school that stresses that it is for kids who are academic and passionate about the arts. Teachers, however, do not seem terribly supportive and while dc has always done very well in the past, now is struggling a bit. DC had a show last night, is exhausted and even vomited a bit. Screaming ensued - told dc that life is tough sometimes and if they want to do the music thing they still have to go to school. 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 04.03.13, 12:25 PM Flag
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Why would you be a bad mom? If music and performances are their regular routine, are they going to stay home every day following a performance? Chances are, she is not taking advantage of other times when she could be getting some rest instead of doing something else. Signed, mom whose dc has an away game at 8pm and will be dealing with exactly the same issue tomorrow morning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 12:24 PM Flag
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Your kid will "even be vomiting a bit"? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 12:42 PM Flag
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Omg I was thinking the same thing. Is OP kidding us?!? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 12:52 PM Flag
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I suspect that when you say "teachers do not seem terribly supportive," you really mean that they are not willing to excuse work that is not submitted on time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 12:25 PM Flag
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Yes, and I understand their point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 12:57 PM Flag
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So...your kid is vomiting and you want to send them to school? Huh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 12:31 PM Flag
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I don't know ... I have kids who fake it. They make dramatic retching noises. I tell them I have to see the vomit in the bowl. They say they just flushed it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 12:34 PM Flag
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Fellow mom of a fifteen year old here. I don't know whether you are a good or a bad mom, but I do know that I would have done the same thing. It is a slippery slope, and I am all about precedent setting. This will not be the last time there will be a late night concert with school the next morning. Your child can't skip school after every one. Being in the class, taking notes, and knowing what is going on is better even at 50% psychologically there than not at all. As for the academic struggle, keep in mind that fifteen is tough no matter what. The frontal lobe is not only not fused, but hormone surges sometimes reduce the function of that frontal lobe to that of a five year old. Just explain that the academics require as much commitment as the music, and keep reminding!!! It will sink in eventually! And cut yourself a break! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 12:32 PM Flag
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Thank you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 12:40 PM Flag
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Oh yay. I hope my kid is in your kid's class. I'd love for him to be vomiting tomorrow. This is just what our family needs right now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 12:41 PM Flag
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Not contagious, exhausted. Your snowflake will not "catch it." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 12:40 PM Flag
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Do you have a crystal ball? I kind of doubt you do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 12:51 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 12:51 PM Flag
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I half want to call fake on this. Think op is trying to tell someone else's story to see how bad we think it is. The kid is vomiting a bit. How do you even vomit a bit? You either do or you don't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 12:53 PM Flag
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Do you have a teen? DC is very dramatic. Could be faking. Certainly is upset/wound up/exhausted not eating right etc. It's been a rough year and dc has missed a bit of school and grades are dropping. I'm not sure I did the right thing at all and that's why I posted. I told dc that sometimes you just have to suck it up and do your job. Believe me I don't feel good about it but I thought dc needed to be there as much as they could. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 12:56 PM Flag
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Either way, there's just something off here. Not saying you're a bad mom, but should a kid be this anxious/exhausted that they're vomiting? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 01:00 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 01:12 PM Flag
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OP: No but there we are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 01:19 PM Flag
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I have a stressed-out, overtired senior and I have to say that letting her have a little leeway regarding school has gone a long way. She is very responsible about school, has missed very little school over the years because she always has commitments, tests, etc and doesn't want to miss it, but she knows that she she is really, truly exhausted and can afford to take a "mental health day" she can. I know this wouldn't work for everyone, but it helps to have the responsibility for the decision on her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 01:35 PM Flag
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Np: My ds is very sensitive to being overtired and has been known to vomit for nothing more. It isn't the same as being ill and isn't contagious. With a young kid I would say let him stay home and rest, but with a teen I think he or she should be made to go to school if there is no fever or other symptoms that indicate it is more than being run down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.03.13, 01:11 PM Flag
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If your child is vomiting, there is a problem. Even if s/he is not contagious, you might consider your role as a parent here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.04.13, 01:16 AM Flag
[ - ] Looking for a teen prom dress shopper for an NYC news story I'm a features reporter at an NYC news website doing a story on how girls in the city are shopping for prom dresses this year: where are they going to look for dresses, what styles are they looking for, how to they try to avoid getting the same dress as one of their peers? I'd love to talk to a teen about how the process has been going this year to get a good first person perspective on the story. If anyone knows of a willing participant please let me know! 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 03.13.13, 04:27 PM Flag
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how do we contact you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.13.13, 04:35 PM Flag
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This other message board I was on had a total troll who would message the women pretending to be a prom-going 17 year old and wanting to talk about fabrics and fit and was a real creeper. If you are a legit news source, provide some contact information, otherwise, this is creepy. Go on, ladies, tell the nice person how your underage daughter is trying on gowns. It's for the news! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.13.13, 05:25 PM Flag
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For a reporter you have no grasp of grammar, sentence formatting or AP style. Web site, not website.. Capital letters after a colon, always. Lists of three ideas have "and" after the second and no comma. First-person has a hyphen. Commas are your friend. Typos are not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.13.13, 05:32 PM Flag
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Yes of course! Here's my teen daughter's contact info...wait a minute. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.13.13, 06:07 PM Flag
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Jesus Christ---use profnet for stuff like this.... Not UB [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.13.13, 07:36 PM Flag
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Hi all! Thanks for your responses. I totally understand why you would have trepidation about it! I get how it sounds. Any parents I know in this city have very young children, which is why I am reaching out in this way. Even my colleagues haven't been able to suggest anyone! Also, Profnet doesn't cover reaching out to parents — I use that to find professors and other experts. If anyone is interested in talking to me about this story, can you please email me at heidipat@hotmail.com? You can even drop me a line about how I must be a 57 year old perv! (Which I'm not.) That's ok too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.14.13, 04:42 PM Flag
[ - ] I caught my son using my vibrator on himself. Naturally, I scolded him for not putting a condom on it first, and took it back to my room. My question is, should I wipe his shit off of it first, or just use it rawdog? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 03.08.13, 01:35 AM Flag
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You won't last. You'll be flagged, deleted and flagged and deleted again. You'll go back to 4chan or whatever dark hole you crawled out of. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.13, 01:36 AM Flag
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Alert. hijacked by stupid kids. no real response required. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.13, 01:42 AM Flag
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Alert. hijacked by stupid kids. no real response required. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.13, 01:42 AM Flag
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What? I'm totally serious. I'm not sure if it's hygienic to put my son's poop in my snatch! And what's a 4chan? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.13, 01:39 AM Flag
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shouldn't you be working on algebra? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.13, 01:48 AM Flag
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I'm sorry? Are you calling me stupid? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.13, 01:45 AM Flag
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nope. Underaged. Go find a friend your own age. Chatting up your friend's moms is really creepy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.13, 01:50 AM Flag
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Will you be my friend? I don't have any friends outside of the internet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.13, 01:58 AM Flag
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Clearly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.13, 02:54 AM Flag
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Flagged [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.13, 01:48 AM Flag
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Flagged for abuse of flag powers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.13, 01:50 AM Flag
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Seriously! Help please! I really want to get off tonight but I can't! Plus, my vibrator is starting to smell. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.13, 01:58 AM Flag
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Flagged you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.13, 02:03 AM Flag
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psa: to flag someone you have to click on 'more" and click 'flag' [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.08.13, 02:11 AM Flag
[ - ] We may need to move to London for a year, kids are in Middle and High school at selective publics here, where can we find good public schools there? TIA 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 03.02.13, 03:01 AM Flag
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jesus. you are going to have such a hard time. try richmond for decent public. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:00 AM Flag
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Leave kids here. It's only a year. Can one parent stay? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:01 AM Flag
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There's quite a few, you shouldn't have a problem. Where are you planning on living? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:02 AM Flag
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how is this possible? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:04 AM Flag
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Are you serious? There are tonnes of good public schools in London. It just depends where you live. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:08 AM Flag
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We are flex, hoping to do a home exchange. Kids are excited about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:12 AM Flag
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I would aim for north and central west and west areas for good publics. St Johns wood, Hampstead, Islington, Notting Hill, Chiswick, Richmond, Kew. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:13 AM Flag
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This is great, thanks! Are they going to have to test in like here? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:22 AM Flag
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Not for publics, no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:23 AM Flag
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If you're flexible look up the Ofsted Reports for each school and give the schools in the areas you like a call. Don't move near a popular school with a huge waitlist etc etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:30 AM Flag
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but there are no guaranteed zones. if you aren't already there at registration time 500 yards from the school of choice, you could get some crap school across town. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:08 AM Flag
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When is registration? Are there any books about it like they have here? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:13 AM Flag
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sort of. you missed the registration for fall. i think it was feb. you can still register when you get there but you could end up somewhere far or not so great. all the great schools get oversubscribed and many parents (even ones already living int he neighborhood) have to switch schools once or twice as waitlists move. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:16 AM Flag
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The closer you live to the school you want, the higher you are on the waitlist. School places are distributed beginning with those who live the closest/siblings. I believe it's within 1/2miles catchment area as the crow flies. I hate Notting Hill and Islington, btw. St Johns Wood, Hampstead, Richmond or the suburbs. Wimbledon has very good schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:24 AM Flag
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no, not all catchment areas are 1/2 miles. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:34 AM Flag
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for 1 yr? dont go - you/kids stay and dh goes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:06 AM Flag
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The Harrodian School, Thomas's London Day Schools, Latymer Upper. South West London has the best schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:05 AM Flag
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Sorry, they're privates. Look for grammar schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:06 AM Flag
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I take it you mean public in the US sense? Public is another name for private in the UK. A non private school is called a state school in the UK. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:09 AM Flag
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yes, state schools [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:14 AM Flag
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how are her kids going to get into grammar? she needs to either already have been there or be there next year. grammar is out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:09 AM Flag
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It's also an out of date notion. Grammar schools are not what they used to be since they scrapped the 11 Plus exam, there are other good state options. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:27 AM Flag
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I take it a grammar school there is not what a grammar school is here? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:27 AM Flag
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I don't think so, (I'm a Brit) You go to grammar school at 11. You use to sit an exam to whittle out the substandard kids but that got scrapped some time ago. I think you are after a middle school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:36 AM Flag
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you still have to test into grammar school. stiff competition, especially the open-region ones. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:42 AM Flag
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no, they found that grammar schools have very good college acceptance rates. they are trying to curtail the private school (e.g. eton) bias at top universities. so grammar schools are the way to go if you can get in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:42 AM Flag
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You should go to Finland instead [ Reply | More
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General Topics 03.02.13, 03:25 AM Flag
[ - ] In the process of expanding my style & wellness/social skills-consulting firm, and I'm wondering how many of you would take your DC(s) for an interview prep or organizational skills course? I have a couple of consultants who are teen psychologists and want to offer styling courses, or interview prep for teenagers. What do you all think? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 02.18.13, 08:13 PM Flag
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Definitely. My 14 y.o. dc needs as much help as he can get with organization. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.18.13, 08:39 PM Flag
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Nope, I can do that for my own dc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.18.13, 08:39 PM Flag
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No way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.18.13, 08:54 PM Flag
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OP here. Can you also explain your reasoning for why/why not? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.18.13, 08:59 PM Flag
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i think you will get takers, lots of people want to outsource and these things are easily outsourced [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.18.13, 09:08 PM Flag
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No way [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.18.13, 09:19 PM Flag
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maybe if my dc had an interview with a private school and i couldn't prepare her myself [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.18.13, 09:49 PM Flag
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I hired someone for my DD, applying to 9th grade. She's very shy and I thought that it would help with her confidence and organize her thoughts/story. She worked with me for a little bit, and then we had the consultant come for 2 sessions. I feel that it was worth it, because we got very good feedback from the schools about her strong interviews. I believe that the interview is important for HS. I would never have done this for MS, when I think that the expectations are lower & the kid could come across as too rehearsed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.19.13, 03:44 PM Flag
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(poster above) A styling consultant sounds slightly ridiculous IMHO. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.19.13, 03:48 PM Flag
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this makes a lot of sense to me. did the consultant come to your house? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.20.13, 07:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Ok so dd who normally is fairly careful about her work and grades suffed a project in her bag, it got crumpled. The teacher (who is a great teacher) is giving her a C. She is more than capable of A work. 9th Grade. I feel she should suffer some other punishment too since she doesn't seem to phases by the C. Any advice from btdt moms? TIA 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 01.15.13, 04:15 AM Flag
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^^ and yes I see my typos. "stuffed" and "phased" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 04:20 AM Flag
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It's fazed, but funny that you corrected it to phased. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 01:16 PM Flag
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What the heck is wrong with you ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 04:20 AM Flag
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??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 04:22 AM Flag
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This is between the child and the teacher. it has nothing to do with you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 04:25 AM Flag
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I'm just worried that she isn't mature enough to understand how bad grades will hurt her. She will need scholarships, grants and aid for college. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 04:30 AM Flag
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np She knows. You tell her often enough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 04:53 AM Flag
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Do you mean that you found it in her bag or she got a 'c' because it was crumpled. Teacher here, BTW [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 04:31 AM Flag
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She did not take care, did a so so job and then stuffed it into her bag so it got crumpled. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 04:34 AM Flag
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I think I would, as a parent, have a conversation with her along the lines of: 'you usually work so hard, what happened here?' and let her explain what happened. Maybe it was an especially busy week. Give her a chance to reflect and open up the lines of communication with you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 04:37 AM Flag
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We did try that it she just yelled that it was her grade and that the teacher makes her crazy. She had a bad teacher last year for this subject and I think that she's continuing the attitude even though this teacher is good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 04:48 AM Flag
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How is she doings in her other subjects? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 04:48 AM Flag
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It's funny. She mostly does very well but then there will be some forgotten homework that will really drop her grade. I'm frustrated because it's not that she's having trouble with doing the work, she's having trouble making it neat and sometimes getting it in on time. She didn't have trouble with this in middle or elem. school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 04:54 AM Flag
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Do you think she has trouble organizing herself? Is it possible that this is the first year that she has to be really on the ball, and it wasn't apparent earlier that she might have needed some organizational help? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 04:59 AM Flag
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maybe - we can talk about that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 05:04 AM Flag
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^^^ teacher? You've been really sweet to respond to me about this but I have to go to bed. I just wonder if we need to take something away (allowance/Facebook) for a period of time to get her attention. I just don't want this to get worse. Thank you so much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 05:02 AM Flag
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I'm not sure about the allowance but FB might be a good idea. I was just trying to see if there is some underlying issue.i also have a 9th grade dd. nothing is eas. Good night! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 05:05 AM Flag
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^^easy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.15.13, 05:05 AM Flag
[ - ] I have always had great respect for teachers but it is so hard to sit back and watch a teacher really screw your child over and know it's something that will have an effect (good or bad) over your child for the rest of their life. 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 01.11.13, 02:30 PM Flag
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Drama. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 02:35 PM Flag
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indeed but this teacher really went out of her way [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 02:35 PM Flag
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What did she do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 02:42 PM Flag
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How old is your dc? Do you really think it's personal? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 02:49 PM Flag
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As far as I can tell teacher misconstrues her general behavior. Guess it's just a personality conflict but dc went to the school because they were so inspired by this teacher on tour. Dc got an A last semester but teacher attached a strongly worked note about dc's behavior. We took it seriously, discussed it at length with dc and went over changes. No other teacher has complained. Last week teacher called dc in and told them that even though their work was perfect she was not going to give them credit for it because of dc's behavior. Teacher then listed things that were actually the opposite of what dc had been doing and dc did not defend because of the shock. So bizarre. DC can steer clear of teacher but it's just too bad because dc really wanted to work with and be liked by this teacher. After a lot of discussion looks like it's just a total personality conflict. I guess there's no perfect time to learn this sort of thing, I just feel bad for dc. Rant over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 03:00 PM Flag
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So what were the behavioral issues she noted? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 03:04 PM Flag
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How old is ths student! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 03:02 PM Flag
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14 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 03:13 PM Flag
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Nothing a teacher does is going to screw your kid over for life. Your kid can still go on to get great grades, study hard for tests, etc. Each rung of schooling is a new shot. Stop blaming the teachers and focus on making your kid as studious and independent and respectful as he can be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 02:45 PM Flag
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That's what we do, just sorry that dc cares so much about this teacher and confused as to why an educator would do this. Everything dc was doing to please teacher seems to have had the opposite effect. Just pushing dc to move forward. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 03:10 PM Flag
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My parents often blamed the teachers and told me that I was much smarter than the teachers, which might have been true. However, my plan it to teach my kids to respect authority. Teachers, as well as everyone else, can make mistakes, but they are still the boss. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 02:52 PM Flag
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Eh, not always. Really smart kids need to learn how to be critical thinking adults, blind repsect for authority does not teach that skill. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 02:59 PM Flag
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How many teachers do you know? Cause I know a lot, personally, and can assure you that I'd never tell my kid to automatically respect everything a teacher says. There's a difference between "it's important for you to behave appropriately and participate in a constructive manner" and "the teacher is always right." Because trust me, the teacher is OFTEN wrong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 03:05 PM Flag
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np - there's a difference between treating someone respectfully and respecting / believing everything they say. we go for the former. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 03:24 PM Flag
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Are you by any chance Asian? I ask because I am and this is generally how I was raised and I mostly agree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 03:09 PM Flag
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In her life she'll need to learn to deal with people who just plain don't like her. I doubt it'll screw her over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 03:03 PM Flag
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You're right. I hope so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 03:12 PM Flag
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Hmmm. I wonder why you won't post the child's age. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 03:11 PM Flag
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She did. Awhile ago. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 03:34 PM Flag
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if you teach your child that something will have life changing effects, it will. you should train your child that some times you get a situation that is just to be eudured. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.11.13, 03:22 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone familiar with the Marvelwood School in Kent, CT? Would it be good for a bright young woman with learning issues? TIA. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 01.04.13, 07:51 PM Flag
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Maybe ask this on the Spec Needs board of youbemom. Active, helpful group over there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.04.13, 08:09 PM Flag
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Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.04.13, 08:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Hi ladies (and gentlemen?) I am currently doing a research about museum-school partnership. Can you give me your opinions about how important is bringing your children to museums for you? And what are your thoughts about having your teens working/ interning in museums as an interpreter (they facilitate visitor-exhibit interactions, sometimes assist with field trips, do presentations and demonstrations, and they usually get training by permanent museum educators, curators, etc.)? Thank you! 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 10.30.12, 05:32 AM Flag
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you do research on UB on the night of super storm? oh, how appropriate! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.30.12, 05:35 AM Flag
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I don't see what's wrong with that. Everyone's home in front of their computer, not out and about in the storm. It's the perfect time to do research on UB. To answer your question, very important for me. Museums are both fun and educational. I would LOVE it if my teen can join such a program, rather than using their spare time to watch TV or play video games. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.30.12, 05:49 AM Flag
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I think it's great to have teens doing this. We visit museums often; at least 4 times a month. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.30.12, 05:52 AM Flag
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college kids rather than teens should work and intern at museums. teens seem a bit immature to deal with intellect of museum patrons [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.30.12, 12:24 PM Flag
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MJH does a program like this. It is great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.30.12, 12:31 PM Flag
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Hi: We brought DD to museums when she was little enough to strap on. Now she tries to touch the art and the guards get annoyed (understandably) We go to the kids room at MOMA, but they are revamping and shut it down. we decided to have a break --we used to have a membership at moma -- until dd is old enough to appreciate and behave. don't have a teen but i think that being a docent would be great for a teen. still go to the met and museo del barrio for target free kids activities, but feel that the toddler to 6 year old years aren't great for museums. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.30.12, 09:50 PM Flag
[ - ] Bronx Science or Lehman as first choice on specialized high school list? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 10.22.12, 02:57 PM Flag
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do we know your kid? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.22.12, 02:57 PM Flag
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op - no - clearly - just wanted to know if anyone had firsthand experience with either. They both seem great in different ways. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.22.12, 03:03 PM Flag
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bx. science bigger... better global reputation... lehman supposed to be great... very personal decision.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.22.12, 02:59 PM Flag
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Obviously, only you can decide. I was all set to love Lehman, but was a bit disappointed that there was only one language choice. Even my mediocre midwestern public 30 years ago offered 3 language choices. There just didn't seem to be that many class choices overall, and I'm not convinced that letting kids take a college class on the Lehman campus is just as good. I still like the school, just not as much as I thought I would. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.22.12, 03:02 PM Flag
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OP - actually I felt the same way at Lehman tour - I was set to like it, to love it actually, but then it seemed very small - just one hall! - but on the other hand, Bronx Science seems so large! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.22.12, 03:16 PM Flag
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True. I would say that if dc's first love is social studies and you want a small school, there is a good argument for Lehman. If dc likes math, science, languages, or other subjects just as much or more, maybe choose Bronx Science, or one of the good non-specialized schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.22.12, 03:26 PM Flag
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Is there free yellow bus service to Bronx science from manhattan? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.22.12, 03:30 PM Flag
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There is no yellow bus service for high school kids anywhere. Free yellow buses end after 6th grade. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.22.12, 04:01 PM Flag
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+1 - it's not free, it's a private company. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.22.12, 04:06 PM Flag
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Obviously, they are both excellent schools; Bronx Science has more of a global reputation. The large size of Bronx Science and the small size of Lehman make it a very personal choice: a kid might be afraid to be "lost" at one, but, OTOH, Bronx Science has a much larger selection of classes to choose from. Definitely go to the open house on Tuesday and speak with the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.22.12, 04:05 PM Flag
[ - ] If your child took the bard assessment, have you heard yet about getting an interview? Some kids in my child's class got called for interviews but we haven't heard back, positive or negative 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 10.16.12, 11:43 PM Flag
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Yes, dc took Bard assessment. No we have not heard about interviews. Oh well :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.16.12, 11:45 PM Flag
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OP have other kids you know gotten invited? about 10 took assessment from our school and only two have heard [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.17.12, 12:30 AM Flag
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I haven't spoken to anyone about this, so I don't know if other kids are already hearing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.17.12, 12:47 AM Flag
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I'm boosting this up, since we're in the same boat now. DD took assessment 10/24, no word one way or another. Of course they've been flooded. Anyone who tested later hear either way? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 11.16.12, 11:50 PM Flag
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