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[ - ] Attending a NYC bat mitzvah. Good friend, through kids school, but not especially close. Going by myself as am divorced. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 04.26.13, 05:15 PM Flag
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...and? Is there a question in there? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:15 PM Flag
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can I hit on the rabbi? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:17 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:16 PM Flag
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is it wrong to ask for lobster? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:14 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:15 PM Flag
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do i have to dance the horah? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:16 PM Flag
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If you don't, you'll look like a whore-ah. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:27 PM Flag
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Whoops. How much to give as gift. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:17 PM Flag
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Give money in multiples of $18. I'd say absolute minimum $54. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:16 PM Flag
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150 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:13 PM Flag
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144 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:23 PM Flag
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Op: Thank u. Had no idea of the 18. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:26 PM Flag
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If it's a good friend, I'd give between $50 and $80. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:51 PM Flag
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^^PS I'm Jewish, and you don't have to do the multiples of 18 thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 05:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Any thoughts on Creative Cakes on UES? Looking to order a custom birthday cake 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 04.26.13, 04:55 PM Flag
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I walk by there all the time and the displays are cute. Years ago, I saw one in the window and then it showed up on the Today show. Never tasted one, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 04:57 PM Flag
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They are expensive [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 04:59 PM Flag
[ - ] PS 145 DL or PS 165 DL? So torn, please HELP! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 04.26.13, 11:34 AM Flag
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I hear the DL at PS 165 is better, and that as a whole PS 165 is a better school. I am also applying to District 3 DL programs, and If those were my two choices I would have no doubt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 02:54 PM Flag
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I've yet to hear a good thing about PS 145. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 04:01 PM Flag
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165 has a great DL program-- total immersion, they learn all subjects in both languages. The program is established. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.01.13, 08:15 PM Flag
[ - ] Which school would you pick for Dual Language Kindergarten: PS 75 or PS 165? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 04.26.13, 09:55 AM Flag
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We did not tour PS 75, but toured 165 and liked it (our zoned school) - in fact, we are going to register there this morning! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 10:56 AM Flag
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I preferred 75 - 165 was too rigid for me, discipline wise...but some parents like that, so go with the vibe that feels right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 01:13 PM Flag
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My DD attended K at PS165 for dual language for about a month several years ago. The teacher was really great (but also very pregnant, so we knew we would not have her long). All the students, except my DD, came from homes that were predominantly Spanish speaking, and my impression was that far less than half the parents spoke English, which left me a bit isolated because I don't speak Spanish. DH does and was fine though. I did not like the drop off, which was very chaotic, at the door to the cafeteria. Parents are not allowed to take K kids to the class rooms. I thought the principal at the time was more focused on dual language kids than the overall standards at the school, and I thought she was a horrible organizer. For instance, at an event at which all the teachers were presented, rather than take them up on the stage to present them, they were scattered throughout the auditorium, so you missed who they were most of the time, and couldn't hear them anyways. This is about five years ago though, so she may have changed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 01:18 PM Flag
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why only a month? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.26.13, 04:01 PM Flag
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We got an offer from a charter school that we liked better at the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.27.13, 01:57 AM Flag
[ - ] Is it worthwhile to live in Lincoln Towers if dc's are not going to 199? Looking at that or the 90's. school is 84th for now but only for four more years and then who knows. LT has the river and midtown proximity. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 04.25.13, 11:07 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 11:09 PM Flag
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Prefer Lincoln towers area to the 90's. I like the area around 110st . LT have that great private parl [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 11:16 PM Flag
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^park [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 11:11 PM Flag
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I think LT is a great location. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 11:26 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 11:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Are there any places to buy a kids' bike on the UES or midtown east? Thanks. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 04.25.13, 09:41 PM Flag
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No, they only sell bicycles in the Bronx. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 09:42 PM Flag
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There is a sports authority on 51 and 3. Call first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 09:56 PM Flag
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bike shop on lex and 88th [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 10:03 PM Flag
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Jeff's Bicycles on Third Ave. around 80th [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 10:39 PM Flag
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there is also a store on 2nd ave near 87th and one on York Ave near 85th [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 11:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone rec a good kosher wine? Need to give as gift. TIA 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 04.25.13, 05:47 PM Flag
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Um...no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 05:51 PM Flag
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I was going to say to get something by Bartenura and then I googled and found these articles,which will help me select something this summer when I need to bring a good bottle too: http://www.foodrepublic.com/2012/04/05/10-great-kosher-wines-drink-right-now and http://www.forbes.com/2009/04/02/kosher-wines-passover-lifestyle-wine-kosher-wine.html and http://reformjudaismmag.org/_kd/Items/actions.cfm?action=Show&item_id=1227&destination=ShowItem [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 05:57 PM Flag
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Thank you very much! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 05:59 PM Flag
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Curious - regular wine isn't kosher? Why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 05:59 PM Flag
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There's an issue with the wine being touched by gentile hands. Seriously. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 05:57 PM Flag
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not true [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 06:02 PM Flag
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^^^ has to do with the process and certifies everything that that the wine comes in contact with is Kosher. Kosher for Passover means wine did not come in contact with any grains, bread, etc during processing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 06:06 PM Flag
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OR: Thanks for answering! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 06:10 PM Flag
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Actually, you are both right. http://www.winespectator.com/webfeature/show/id/What-Makes-Wine-Kosher_2005 or http://www.kosherwinereview.com/content/what-makes-wine-kosher [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 06:52 PM Flag
[ - ] We currently live in the Upper East Side, and with baby2 on the way are considering a move to Brooklyn, which is pretty unfamiliar to me. Can any Brooklyn mamas suggest what neighborhoods to focus on. Our priority would be for a safe, family friendly neighborhood with good public schools. 36 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 04.25.13, 02:51 PM Flag
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Westchester. Stay with your own kind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:52 PM Flag
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Depends, if OP or DH work midtown, Westchester can be much easier commute. If Wall Street, Brooklyn can be easier. Any area with good public schools will not be chearp. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:55 PM Flag
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OP: what is "your own kind"? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:51 PM Flag
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UES side kind of people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:59 PM Flag
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I agree, especially if there is a desire for "good public schools" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:59 PM Flag
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carroll gardens, cobble hill, brooklyn heights [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:54 PM Flag
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these are great neighborhoods. park slope is very safe and close to the park but more expensive. forte greene is nice with beautiful brownstones, but the schools are not very good and safety is a bit tricky in the area as many incomes are trying to live with one another. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:37 PM Flag
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actually carroll gardens, cobble hill and BH are all more expensive than Park Slope [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 04:34 PM Flag
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not a lot of big 3 bedrooms in these neighborhood because most are in brownstones. You can't get large 3 bedroom in BH for under 1.5 - unless co-op with very high monthly charges. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 04:35 PM Flag
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These are the only 3 that would feel ok to you coming from UES. All are safe and family friendly and have good schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 04:33 PM Flag
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Depends on your budget and your priorities. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:55 PM Flag
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budget: $1.5M. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:51 PM Flag
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I'm hard-pressed to believe you can get a better deal in a nice Bklyn neighborhood on that budget than you can on the UES. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:54 PM Flag
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There's no inventory for a large 3 bedroom on the UES for $1.5M. For that you have to inch closer to $2M [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:55 PM Flag
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well look at brooklyn and you won't get a large 3 bedroom in a nice neighborhood for that either [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:57 PM Flag
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I don't know if I'd agree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:03 PM Flag
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there's no way you'd get this for under 1.5M in UES: http://streeteasy.com/nyc/sale/848337-coop-458-6th-avenue-park-slope-brooklyn [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:06 PM Flag
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it's partially underground and ground level. Yuck. Can you imagine the dirt and bugs you'd get in your home? Who cares whether it's in the UES or Brooklyn, who wants to live underground?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:03 PM Flag
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with outdoor space? are you nuts? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:10 PM Flag
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your bedrooms are on ground floor. No, I'm not nuts. I don't like people who can climb into my windows, nor do I like bugs, rats, dirt inside where I live. Been there, done that in Brooklyn! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:14 PM Flag
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Ha. We have bedrooms on the ground floor. Nothing like that. It's lovely. Looks out at garden. No rats, bugs, only dirt if we bring it on purpose. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:25 PM Flag
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Wow, that's a gorgeous apartment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:07 PM Flag
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Oh that's very pretty. Too bad about the 3rd bedroom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:23 PM Flag
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That's a two bedroom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:27 PM Flag
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the 3rd bedroom is not technically a bedroom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:36 PM Flag
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agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:56 PM Flag
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Go east of 2nd ave. Not hard to find a 3 bedroom in that budget plus that area is rapidly growing value with the second ave subway line. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:34 PM Flag
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this is not true. we live east of 2nd now, and there's no inventory for a real 3 bedroom in that price range. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:40 PM Flag
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there are. look harder. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 04:08 PM Flag
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np: I think it depends how you define "a real 3BR". Our apt is technically a conv 3BR and if you were to convert, the 3rd BR would definitely be small. However, the apt is 1400 sq ft which is bigger than many "real" 3BR we looked at, with the 2nd BR nearly as large as the Master. And ours is well under 1.5M and in a DM bldg. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 04:47 PM Flag
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park slope. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:01 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:01 PM Flag
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Completely agree!!! Loved being near the park and walkable to everything when I had db while living there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:37 PM Flag
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I would focus on the school zones. Find out as much as you can about the schools, and shop for your apartment by zone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:18 PM Flag
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If you are strategic, you can find an apartment on the UES in your budget. Our building on E 79th occasionally has 3 BR in your price range (they come up about one or twice a year). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:20 PM Flag
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Park Slope, Prospect Heights, Brooklyn Heights, Cobble Hill, Carroll Gardens for amazing public schools. Of these, Prospect Heights is most affordable. Fort Greene and Clinton Hill if you want to do private. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 04:11 PM Flag
[ - ] We currently live in the Upper East Side, and with baby2 on the way are considering a move to Brooklyn, which is pretty unfamiliar to me. Can any Brooklyn mamas suggest what neighborhoods to focus on. Our priority would be for a safe, family friendly neighborhood with good public schools. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 04.25.13, 02:51 PM Flag
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All depends on your budget. Brooklyn is really expensive now. So wish I had bought in Brooklyn Heights when I lived there years ago!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:48 PM Flag
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You should also consider parts of Queens. Forest Hills is beautiful. I am dying to buy a mansion in Forest Hills Gardens. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:57 PM Flag
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OP: we have looked at Forest Hills Gardens, but weren't so sold on the public school there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:59 PM Flag
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OR: Really? PS 101, 144, and 196 are great schools. Can I ask what you didnt like about them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:05 PM Flag
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it may be non-pc to say this, but while Forest Hills Gardens is quite upscale and lovely, the rest of FH isn't. The Public School represented that diversity, and not in a good way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:04 PM Flag
[ - ] Moving to Queens. Need to choose between Astoria and Long Island City. Have a 3 yr old. Give me pluses and minuses of each. TIA. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 04.25.13, 02:27 AM Flag
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Hi. I was born and raised in Queens. I recommend Astoria. There is more to do there. It is a vibrant community and the restaurants are much better than what they have in LIC. Just don't get a car because parking is a nightmare...especially the closer you,are to Ditmars or Steinway St. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:30 AM Flag
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Thanks. Any particular areas you would recommend (especially considering I have a toddler...) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:37 AM Flag
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By the water...by Ditmars..there are many families in that section...(closer to LGA). Steinway is more commercial, and tends to have more singles/younger people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:40 AM Flag
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Raised in Astoria here as well! If you're planning on making this a long-term move, Ditmars area is your best bet. There is more a solid community there with good schools and a good park and a neighborly feeling. LIC is new and has cushy amenities, but I get the feeling that most of the families are in transit - they stay there a few years, and then they leave - but who knows, the community is growing, so it might change. The broadway/30 ave areas have gentrified towards the 20something crowd so while there's fun bars and stuff I think for a family you're better off in Ditmars area. I grew up there in the 90's and nothing but amazing memories... love it so much! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:44 AM Flag
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Only if you ask politely, say please. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:36 AM Flag
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Pretty please [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:38 AM Flag
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Only if you ask politely, say please. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:36 AM Flag
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Only if you ask politely, say please. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:36 AM Flag
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Astoria: cheaper, more school options, more established (restaurants, supermarkets, etc) LIC: newer, prettier (waterfront) and commute to Manhattan can be a bit shorter [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:36 AM Flag
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^^^ but you can't go wrong with either one, I think BK is overrated [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:37 AM Flag
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I owuld choose LIC because I like the proximity of the city and the waterfront. But, Astoria is much cheaper and there is more of a community feel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 02:45 AM Flag
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Love Astoria, Ditmars way too far. Lots of awesome restaurants and vintage stores popping up, lots of great food shopping. Friend got 1 bd there for 1450$ a couple of months ago. Chose a prewar building. So pretty. You should take the N train one day and walk around. Get off at Broaday or 30th avenue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 03:15 AM Flag
[ - ] Who else has followed the Today show Ann Curry debacle/drama played out in the papers? i don't get it. While I was sympathetic to Ann, never liked Matt and always felt he was quite overrated, I just don't understand Curry: what happened to being a professional? You win, you lose, and I mean, look, the higher you go the harder the fall...So it didn't work out the way you wanted/planned/hoped, so people weren't so nice, boo hop, cry me a river. What else is new in the shark infested waters of certain industries/corp.'s at certain levels, etc.? Don't people like her realize if they want to work again in a 'real' career way they need to put up, and shut up? SO UNPROFESSIONAL. Like Star Jones. If I was in a postiion of power at a network, I wouldn't touch Curry w. a 10 ft pole after the way she's carried on when things didn't go her way. I've been sh$%& on in corporate america, but I got it. I understood who had the power, and hwo didn't, ultimately, and if I wanted to work again in the industry, I had to smile and play the game / put on my game face as crap flew and I didn't exactly "win". 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 04.24.13, 11:31 PM Flag
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NY mag did a big article about it a few weeks ago. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 11:29 PM Flag
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Yeah, what's interesting is how poorly nearly every player comes off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 11:39 PM Flag
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Hi Matt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 11:29 PM Flag
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I NEVER liked her, but I will say this: she has stayed 100% professional since that debacle. She has NOT opened her mouth and said a single negative statement about the network or her co-hosts. She could have created a HUGE stink and been let out of her contract, but she did not. I would have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 11:30 PM Flag
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OP: What?? What do you mean, she never opened her mouth? SHE CRIED ON TV AND MADE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR THE WHOLE THING was happening TO her, that she was a VICTIM. She made it look very bad, pulled away from Matt as he tried to kiss her (supposedly from what I read). I mean, apparently her last day on air was cringeworthy as she went off script and delivered this "I'm sorry I couldn't carry the baton all the way..." [sob sob].... And if you think for ONE MINUTE that she isn't an OFF THE RECORD source for these articles and Stelter's book, I have a bridge I want to sell you.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 11:38 PM Flag
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Matt's the one who wouldn't hide how much he disliked her on every show. I totally understand on get last day, with a horrible send off, not wanting to touch the guy. I thought she handled it really well considering. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 12:03 AM Flag
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Matt? Or his yucky wife? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 12:24 AM Flag
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I agree. They basically fired her and made her work her last day right after that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 01:21 AM Flag
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don't know why but I have always liked Ann Curry. Matt seems like a jerk! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 11:36 PM Flag
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I think she's cool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 11:45 PM Flag
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ITA. I am so over Ann Curry. I am actually starting to feel sympathetic towards Matt Lauer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 11:52 PM Flag
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Who has time to watch the Today show? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 11:58 PM Flag
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I agree with the OP. I also remember all the news stories from around 2005, after she bought a townhouse in the West 70s. Apparently she was doing major renovations for years and it started to drive the neighbors crazy, and they ended up suing her. One neighbor had a wall of her home destroyed by the workers blasting through Ann Curry's home. They definitely said she was not a very nice person. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 12:07 AM Flag
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The New York Post October 17, 2005 Monday ANIMOSITY 'BUILDS' FOR 'TODAY' STAR The city has ordered celebrity newscaster Ann Curry to take down a penthouse on the roof of her Upper West Side brownstone - or face down furious neighbors in a public hearing. The "Today Show" morning anchor has been locked in a bitter battle with neighbors of her West 71st Street home ever since she began a major renovation job shortly after buying the four-story building in November 2003. Neighbor Lynne Lummel said the penthouse height is only part of the nightmare that has plagued her for the past two years. Construction crews working on Curry's home have flooded Lummel's walls, sliced up their chimneys and sent soot coursing through her home, she said. At first, Curry seemed like she wanted to make amends, and appeared just as sincere as she does on TV, Lummel said. "You know, the furrowed brow, the leaning forward, the let-me-feel-your-pain thing?" said Lummel. But talks broke down in June, and they now communicate through lawyers. Last week, the city's Landmarks Preservation Commission told Curry she would have to shorten the 18-foot penthouse or argue in a public hearing why an exception should be made for them, said Diane Jackier, a Landmarks Preservation spokeswoman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 12:10 AM Flag
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Maybe she doesn't care. I imagine she's made enough money that she doesn't really need to work ever again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 12:31 AM Flag
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Didn't follow anything except that she was super annoying - couldn't read a teleprompter - always had her foot in her mouth. They did the right thing kicking her to the curb and can't imagine why it was a big thing because she got an insanely huge package, no? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 12:53 AM Flag
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I agree with you. I hate Matt Lauer, but Ann Curry wasn't meant for that job with any partner. I thought it was funny the NY Mag article stole the NYT Mag's thunder and had way more juicy tidbits. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 12:57 AM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone know on what grounds I might win an impartial hearing to get outisde services paid for? DD was getting speech in school, but the speech therapist was truly inappropriate with her and when we tried to address it with her, she was more really inappropriate with us (have lots of documentation). I went to mediation, but they would not approve it (we were arguing a disrupted relationship and lack of progress). They said we should give it another try and we agreed. Now it appears the speech txist is not following through with the mediation agreement. Is there any point to trying to move forward with this? Or is it just useless grief. Is there any other recourse? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 04.24.13, 07:00 PM Flag
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Useless grief. My guess is that you have marked yourself as crazy parents. You sound a little crazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 07:07 PM Flag
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The school has to provide services on your IEP. Are they doing so? You don't get to pick the therapist in a public school setting. Have you talked to the principal? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 07:28 PM Flag
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I have and she is supportive - acknowledges problems with the service provider and wants to help, but can't authorize an RSA letter which has to come from the district. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 08:39 PM Flag
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They will provide the service with this provider, but given her behavior (not just toward us but toward others as well, I honestly don't want DD to meet with her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 08:41 PM Flag
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Get a lawyer involved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 07:36 PM Flag
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The problem is that we'll probably spend as much on the lawyer as we will on the service, with no guarantee of an outcome. Which I guess gets me back to useless grief, but thank you for the feedback. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 08:40 PM Flag
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Yes. Go over her head to the Director of Special Education. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 09:57 PM Flag
[ - ] I know that in NYC there is an 80% carpeting law. Our neighbors are complaining about noise so we got a letter about the 80% carpeting. Does anyone know if they can force us to install wall to wall carpeting? We already have rugs on the floor where it is possible. We just renovated so it would kill me to have carpeting. Anyone know or BTDT? 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 04.24.13, 03:35 PM Flag
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It's not a "law." It's a rule in most buildings. They can't force you to get wall to wall. Also, your furniture is covering a percentage of your floor area. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:36 PM Flag
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So what are my obligations with this? Both owner and us are owners. We don't wear shoes in the apartment and already have rugs in every room. My older dc is in school all day and does hw when gets home. My younger dc is 2.5 and does walk around a lot. We don't allow ball play in the apartment, we don't have any banging toys. They are just complaining about kid's foot steps. Our building is well insulated for sound so it can't possibly be that bad and the 2 year old is in sleeping from 7 pm to 7 am. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:42 PM Flag
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we had a similar problem, it eventually escalated to the point where they made us get a sound engineer to confirm we were within the law. clearly we were and you will be too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:51 PM Flag
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It's usually a requirement found in rental leases or bylaws/rules of buildings. Usually saying somehting like 80% of the floor must be covered by carpet or other sound dampening material. I would argue that space covered by furniture counts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:33 PM Flag
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So do they go through the apartment and measure? If you include kitchen and bathrooms into the sq/ft then I am sure we would have to have wall to wall to accomplish the 80% [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:43 PM Flag
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i posted above - it is 80% throughout and they cannot require wall to wall carpeting. do you have runners in halls? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:52 PM Flag
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np I highly doubt bathrooms are counted. Probably not even kitchens--particularly if they're galley style and all work area [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:58 PM Flag
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rugs are fine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:34 PM Flag
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Um- it is a law in NYC. All multi-unit buildings in NYC have this rule. Whether it's enforced is building by building, but if your neighbor is a big enough pain in the ass, then yes, you would have to provide covering on 80% of the area (less bathroom, hallways, closet, kitchen, etc) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:37 PM Flag
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TY. Are you sure it is less bathrooms, hallways, closets, and kitchen? If so, we already have area rugs covering 80%. What now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:44 PM Flag
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^^we also don't wear shoes in the house. the only way we could make less noise is to not have children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:45 PM Flag
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or not be in the apt at all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:41 PM Flag
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true. obviously this is not feasible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:48 PM Flag
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don't tell me, your downstairs neighbor is an old and crazy single person. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:53 PM Flag
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bingo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:57 PM Flag
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it's the WORST [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 04:02 PM Flag
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ah haaa [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 05:35 PM Flag
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Rules and laws are two different things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:45 PM Flag
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No law, just an urban legend, look it up. OP, personally, I'm ignoring my neighbors and there's not a damn thing they can do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:58 PM Flag
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Given that there are exclusions for bathroom, etc. I'd ask the manager or super to come up and measure your rugs verus required area and determine exactly how many square feet you're short. Maybe you just have to buy another throw rug to get you over 80%. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:45 PM Flag
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op: I expect we have 80% covered as is if we can exclude hallways, bathrooms, and kitchen [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:49 PM Flag
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^so whatever noise we make will not go away [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:49 PM Flag
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np: I doubt you exclude hallways [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:55 PM Flag
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np Ita. They'd be prime noise generators being that their sole function is to walk through. I need to get a runner for ours. But it's very long and I'm having a hard time finding something. Neighbors have complained, too. Bought carpets for all other spaces/rooms, fwiw. Also have 2.5 yo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:55 PM Flag
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do you want the name of a rug guy? he will send you pics online, then bring samples to your apt. but you have to provide him with measurements, and he pretty much has persian type rugs only. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 04:07 PM Flag
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We had this problem and found rugs on overstock.com. Hated what i was seeing in stores but loved what we found there - though we did have to do 2, because our hallway is so long. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 05:54 PM Flag
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I doubt you can exclude hallways--why should you? We had a big problem with this with our downstairs neighbor (childless) in my old apartment. I bought thick rug pads for underneath the carpets, which I think helped a lot (and it's good for the carpet). Do you have these? I also made sure to have the carpets in heavily-trodden areas like the hallway. My apartment kind of looked like the Silk Road, with all these carpets strewn about, but that's how it goes. Beyond that, I'd agree that you just need to get your super to confirm you've gotten to 80% and then you're done. But I know how it feels -- it's such a drag to worry about neighbors and noise. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 04:23 PM Flag
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get rug padding--don't just put the rugs on bare floor. makes a huge difference--get extra thick for high traffic areas. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 06:42 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 08:48 PM Flag
[ - ] WWYD? Last night after a meeting, I asked a good friend if she wanted to grab a quick bite to eat. She told me that should had to wrap a few things up and get home to relieve her babysitter. I ended up stopping somewhere by myself to grab some take out and walked home. This morning, my friend pulled me aside to apologize. Ends up that she "had more time than she thought" and went out with a few others "at the last minute" and saw me through the restaurant window when I walked by (I did not see them but she thought I had). She was totally uncomfortable during the conversation because I could tell it was not the total truth and I really did not know what to say. She now feels better and I have a pit in my stomach. 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 04.24.13, 02:23 PM Flag
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Yikes. I would forgive but that's me. Ask yourself how you would have acted if you were in her shoes. Have you ever accidentally over scheduled or been tempted to break plans to do something else? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:19 PM Flag
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she lied and blew off op [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:20 PM Flag
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this. not as good of a friend as op thinks she is...that's too bad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:23 PM Flag
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I know. It's not cool. That's why I said yikes. But I think it happens and we've all been at least tempted. If OP would never in a million years do this, then cut friend loose. If she can understand how this might happen, then I think it's ok to say, I don't appreciate being treated like that but I understand that things come up. Next time please be honest with me. Then the friendship can continue and OP will see if this is an ongoing problem if a onetime mistake. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:25 PM Flag
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She didn't blow her off. Way if someone had already invited her out and she thought it sounded like fun. If OP was already gone what difference does it make? Would hurt my feelings for a bit, but as long as it is a one off, I wouldn't worry about it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:41 PM Flag
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ugh! give her the stink eye and be cold so she knows you are not pleased with her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:20 PM Flag
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OP: unfortunately not that easy. DSs are best friends and we share pick up drop off for almost all activities [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:42 PM Flag
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ask her why she didn't call your cell phone and invite you out with the group [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:26 PM Flag
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do not do this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:36 PM Flag
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why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:42 PM Flag
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Pathetic [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:28 PM Flag
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NP: IDA. Her friend may not have thought of it. Asking this would shame her about lying. If indeed she didn't want to hang with OP, better that OP knows. Displaying vulnerability is nothing to be ashamed of imo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 01:32 AM Flag
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Eh - it happens. Give her the benefit of the doubt that she did think she had something else to do. You'll know soon enough if she's going to continue blowing you off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:21 PM Flag
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she lied, she sucks, but you need to not let it bother you. I would no longer consider her a good friend but would be friendly and take the friendshp with a grain of salt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:28 PM Flag
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Let it go; everyone's been on either end of that at one point or another. It sounds like she had a matching pit and she felt sucky about it...whether "it" was not feeling like explaining, telling a white lie to not let you know you weren't invited. Maybe she just wanted to be with a friend and not you, but not for malicious reasons (I have a good friend going through a separation; other friends would know her, and might want to join us, but I know she needs to talk about serious stuff and not just socialize.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:28 PM Flag
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OP: thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:47 PM Flag
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PP: That said, she should have been direct and said something like, "I'm seeing X; I can't really talk about specifics, but she's going through something, and I know she's wanted the chance to talk about serious stuff. Let's try for another time." But so many of us are people pleasers. Hopefully the pit in her* stomach will make her more forthright next time. You sound sensitive and a good friend; if it's just this, try to assume the best, not the worst, of her motives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:21 PM Flag
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Np: I like your thinking and rationalizing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.25.13, 01:34 AM Flag
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Wise woman above. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 04:31 PM Flag
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I doubt she feels better. I'm sure she's glad she has taken care of speaking to you, but I bet she still feels pretty lame for lying. I imagine she fretted all night that you saw her. I don't think she's an awful person, but I think she should have just said she had other plans rather than lying. Some people are kind of bad at bowing out of things. If you think that your friendship is waning or that you're fighting harder for it, then maybe you should take a step back. Let her be the one to initiate the next plans and then make a call when that happens about whether you want to go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:24 PM Flag
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Good advice. Some friendships run their course. It's fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:37 PM Flag
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OP: i think, well thought, that our friendship was closer than ever. we became friendly because of our kids and became friends very easily. i have always had more of a quality than quantity perspective when it comes to friends and this just felt awful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:50 PM Flag
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She's an ass. Try not to let it get you down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:24 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:39 PM Flag
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You're too good for this bitch. I know it doesn't help, but I'm hating her for making you feel this way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:40 PM Flag
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I wouldn't do anything other than consider that maybe she isn't such a good friend. she would no longer be the first person i call tohang out, especially since i'm not her first call. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:41 PM Flag
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Good friend? Doesnt seem like a friend to me. Not sure why people throw the word 'friend' around like they throw the word 'love' around. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 02:42 PM Flag
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This was a Chelsea Lately episode this week! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:04 PM Flag
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Would you prefer she said, I already have plans with this group so maybe later? Or would you have expected to be included? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 03:45 PM Flag
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OP: i would have had no problem at all if she had been honest. i am friendly, but not friends, with the people she was with and would have had no expectation to be included. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 04:01 PM Flag
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if she had not seen you and assumed you saw her, do you think she would have said anything? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.24.13, 04:26 PM Flag
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