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[ - ] Met a great man who just happens to be too old for me. What is your personal cut off age for dating? How old are you? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:22 PM Flag
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I am 35; would not go out with a man who is older than 42. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:23 PM Flag
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twice your age, minus 17 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:19 PM Flag
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no, your age + (your age/5) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:20 PM Flag
[ - ] I think Lena Dunham is so ugly I can barely stand to look at her. 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:12 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:07 PM Flag
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Well she's laughing her ugly ass all the way to the bank. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:08 PM Flag
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^she's super talented IMO. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:10 PM Flag
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Like money fixes everything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:15 PM Flag
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Makes a lot of things easier. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:16 PM Flag
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It is childish and mean to post a comment like that under the cloak of anonymity [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:08 PM Flag
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Sorry I just had to say it somewhere! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:16 PM Flag
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Go work on your triceps. You'll never be as smart or witty as she is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:09 PM Flag
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uh, she's very brave but smart and witty, not so much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:16 PM Flag
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Smart and witty? I don't think so [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:18 PM Flag
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She's not even very brave. She said in an interview that she discovered in high school that showing her body got laughs. Thus, her one-trick pony show of combining whining with seeing her naked. - np [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:20 PM Flag
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Nobody says Woody Allen is too ugly to star in his own films. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:10 PM Flag
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i do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:16 PM Flag
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He's ugly too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:17 PM Flag
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and why must they repeatedly force her nudity upon us [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:11 PM Flag
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she's an attention whore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:19 PM Flag
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Don't watch. It's a subscription channel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:13 PM Flag
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You subscribe by choice to an expensive network, and then by choice tune in to a specific half-hour show. This is your definition of having something forced on you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:14 PM Flag
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LOL love this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:15 PM Flag
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I could not disagree more. I think she is adorable (but she looked better with longer hair). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:13 PM Flag
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Ugh...it's like she doesn't even try to look decent [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:21 PM Flag
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adorable??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:21 PM Flag
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I have no problem with her looks but I hate when writers assume we're dumb. She hides her own self indulgence behind her character's self indulgence and she thinks she can say, "But it's fiction" and we'll buy that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:21 PM Flag
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that's what all writers do, especially young ones. She is exaggerating all of the characters' worst traits in order to explore those traits, all of which are to some extent found within her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:18 PM Flag
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OR: Well, I don't know if all writers do it, but it's a chronic habit about these postmodern types. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:27 PM Flag
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Are you scared that women will be judged on their wit and intelligence rather than their eating disorders? New World Order. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:17 PM Flag
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Here we go again, another fat person assuming that all thin people have eating disorders. Go eat a donut. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:20 PM Flag
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No one bitches about zach galafinakis. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:18 PM Flag
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np - is it wrong that I think he's hot? I hate myself for that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Montclair question - what is the commute really like? Can the train table times be trusted? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:11 PM Flag
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nj transit is notoriously unreliable, unfortunately. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:06 PM Flag
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lol as my FIL says, "the NJ Transit schedule is just a suggestion." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:09 PM Flag
[ - ] i'd like to see people's take on this: i was at the post office and a woman was in line asking for some forms (maybe for foreign registered mail or something else not super duper common). the clerk would not give her enough. maybe she wanted like 200. they clearly had enough to give her if they wanted and also have some for the next morning. but they just didn't want to help her out and the excuse was that they can't run out (but i know they had a huge stack behind one of the unmanned desks) and she should either go online and order or drive around all the post offices and get as many as she can from each. but she said she needed them for that day and that if she had brought in all the packages, they'd be forced to use them up for her anyway. but they wouldn't budge and she got very peeved and started grabbing the forms lying around for customers to use in the self-service desk. the clerk got annoyed and told her to stop but she did it anyway and left. i thought the clerk was in the wrong. but the man behind me thought the customer should have "prepared ahead" and go to the main post office and see if they could help her out. what do you say? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:59 PM Flag
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I think that sounds like a lot of forms to ask for, IMO. Especially at a small branch PO. But if the PO had the forms, they could have given them to her. But she should order via mail. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:01 PM Flag
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The post office was probably being unreasonable, but she should have called ahead to see if they would give her a bulk of forms. Why would she wait until the last minute? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:55 PM Flag
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I thinks she was being an asshole. The clerk was in the right and she was being entitled. The post office serves a large population, it isn't staples. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:56 PM Flag
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There was a huge stack on the desk next to the clerk but the clerk wouldn't give her any of them? Clerk, clearly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:02 PM Flag
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no, that's why i think the clerk was just being a pain. they had enough. but she kept saying "this is all i can give you." she wouldn't even walk to the other pile. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:05 PM Flag
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She was right, post office was wrong. She's obviously going to mail hundreds of packages -- what else is she going to do with those preprinted forms? If the post office is not prepared, that their fault. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:59 PM Flag
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I agree with the woman they should have provided the forms that's what they are there for. Was this in manhattan? Those people are always in the worst mood anyway I'm not surprised they were being difficult. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:01 PM Flag
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^^^a bit of a rant but I feel government employees are the face of the country and I hate hearing stories about how nasty they can be - particularly customs officers. I understand that they are generally underpaid and overworked so while I can understand their dissatisfaction it is disappointing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:10 PM Flag
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i agree this was some power trip. it's sad but i guess it's human nature. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:18 PM Flag
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The maid, with the candlestick, in the library. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:04 PM Flag
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Why didn't she ask for a supervisor? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:22 PM Flag
[ - ] I am losing patience with a mom who is sending several emails back and forth regarding a 10 minute parent volunteer function later today. Who has time to obsess over these things? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:48 PM Flag
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Annoying people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:49 PM Flag
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It's why I hate being a teacher. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:50 PM Flag
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I feel you sister. I remember those 10 minute "parties" that turned into throwing a prom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:57 PM Flag
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that quit whoring yourselves out to parents and cut the shit out with the volunteer-soliciting and donation-seeking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:00 PM Flag
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Then there would be no parties ever. I can't afford to pay out of my pocket for that kind of stuff. And then parents would complain that so and so's class has parties and I don't. You really can't win. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:00 PM Flag
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SAHM. I have family memebers who do the same. Too much time on their hands for exactly that reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:15 PM Flag
[ - ] have we discussed the sh!t show that was the mandell school benefit? i searched but came up empty. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:38 PM Flag
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Details [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:43 PM Flag
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GR's son, who had attended collegiate for grammar school (?) gave a speech about how awful that school was. completely inappropriate and uncomfortable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:44 PM Flag
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Wow! Really? Tacky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:46 PM Flag
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What is gr [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:54 PM Flag
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Wow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:49 PM Flag
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Get OUT! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:58 PM Flag
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Get OUT? Why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:53 PM Flag
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that is interesting. what do the parents say to each other after a speech like that? does everyone just try to pretend it didn't happen? so awkward. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:04 PM Flag
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that woman cannot get out of her own way. it's sad. families are nice enough. it's the damn leadership that is so awful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:10 PM Flag
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How dd the benefit go? I always heard it was a good one - hope you had fun!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:05 PM Flag
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WOW! So many haters on this board. Mandell is excellent! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:14 PM Flag
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It was very chic and classy. Dont listen to these haters [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:15 PM Flag
[ - ] I share a nanny with a woman who has an irregular holiday schedule at work, as she works for a global company, whereas my employer follows the Federal holiday schedule. I'm concerned that its unfair and borderline illegal to not give our nanny Federal holidays off (although we pay off the books). She gets two weeks paid vacation (one in the summer and one between xmas and new years), plus 2 paid days off for her religion's new year observation and thanksgiving. And we've also never said no if she asks for a day off here and there, or if she needs to leave early for an appt or something. Thoughts? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:35 PM Flag
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dude. it's illegal to pay off the books. why dont you start there. idiot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:39 PM Flag
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NP: It is illegal, but no need to call her an idiot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:46 PM Flag
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she's rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:41 PM Flag
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Illegal isn't the issue. You're already doing something illegal. Your issue is ethical. Assuming you think paying off the books is ok, it seems you feel lack of holidays is not ok. I agree with you. Maybe you and the other family can draw up a list of 10 days per year (that's about typical) that the nanny can have off. Give that list to her in advance and everyone plays by those rules. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:10 PM Flag
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You need to get your thoughts in order [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:06 PM Flag
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Yeah she needs to get holidays. And I really rec. paying on books. My friend's nanny just broke her ankle st work and my friend is fucked: she has to pay for all med., pay her salary, and pay for another nanny while she is recovering. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Repost: i posted yesterday morning about dh slapping me across face and possibly breaking my nose. First time this ever happened. I put him out. He's been crying, apologizing, telling me he will do anything to save marriage. He's a functional alcoholic. Should I tell him we need counseling? Should I just separate until he gets better? Don't know what to do. 39 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:35 PM Flag
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Leave. Next time he might break your arm or worse. He could kill you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:31 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. It must suck. You will have to divorce, of course. This will only escalate, and he make make your children motherless. Can you hire a lawyer this week? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:33 PM Flag
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Do not take him back. No second chane. Call safe horizons if you cannot afford lawyer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:36 PM Flag
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np: really? i know physical abuse is bad but isn't marriage worth at least trying to save at least once? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:42 PM Flag
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Um, no. You are suddenly in a new realm: your life is on the line. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:51 PM Flag
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Urban baby is a bad place to ask for marital advice. The women here will divorce their husbands if their bonuses are down one year. If I were you, I would make him go to substance abuse counseling and marriage counseling. I myself would attend a support group. Make progress in these things then evaluate where you are in your marriage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:37 PM Flag
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He is physically abusive. Don't put yourself in danger. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:38 PM Flag
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I don't see how she is in any danger if he is out of the house and in a substance abuse program. But here marriages are for better or even better... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:40 PM Flag
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Domestic violence is inexcusable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:42 PM Flag
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Her dh has real problems no one is discounting that but he should be getting help and so should OP. Leaving him now is not going to help anyone. If After counseling and time she should think about whether to divorce not a few days after the lowest point in her marriage and seekin advice on an anonymous website from people who don't care about her or know her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:46 PM Flag
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UGH. leaving now would help her and her children. they are not safe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:15 PM Flag
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It absolutely will help leaving an abusers. My God, some women just want to be punching bags. Horrible advice: abusers rarely "recover". Stop selling pipe dreams. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:24 PM Flag
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Are you kidding? You think if he's out of the house he won't hurt her? You're an idiot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:43 PM Flag
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You think that serving him with divorce papers gives her safety? You're wrong it probably puts her more at risk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:47 PM Flag
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She should get an restraining order. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:56 PM Flag
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You might be right. She should get herself and dc safe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:58 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:52 PM Flag
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Oh please, what a BS excuse. Whatever she does she is in the same amount of danger. She is responsible to her DCs to get out of this marriage, abusers do not change. THey only get more violent each time they are 'forgiven' [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:52 PM Flag
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Show me the credible stats behind this please. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:54 PM Flag
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np Pretty standard abuser MO to be sorry and crying and saying he'll never do it again. This IS how women end up dead at the hands of their husband. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:25 PM Flag
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You have either lived a very sheltered life or are a complete Moroni if you don't believe that abusers almost always abuse again. Out of your damn mind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:25 PM Flag
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op: this is what I was thinking, but I've put up with so much already. Yesterday, I felt like this was the last straw. how much more can i deal with? this is also how i feel. i'm so conflicted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:44 PM Flag
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There is no rush to divorce. Go where you feel safe and get into a support group. When you don't feel conflicted about your decision at all is when you know you're ready to make the right decision. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:49 PM Flag
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I would be sure to have this on record so that you can be sure he does not get visitation unsupervised with the children while this is going on. He obviously needs help and you must file some sort of complaint. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:44 PM Flag
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Anyone know of an abuser who doesn't cry the next day and swear off all that "made" him abusive? Anyone? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:46 PM Flag
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OP never said her dh said that. Stop projecting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:42 PM Flag
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Did you not read her post? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:50 PM Flag
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Yes did you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:53 PM Flag
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So did it not say he is now sorry, cried and told her he would do anything to save the marriage? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:08 PM Flag
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THIS!!!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:42 PM Flag
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Have you ever worn a wig? How unhappy were you, and how unhappy do you think you'd be if you had to wear a wig (or headscarf) every day? Few people would prefer to wear wigs, but perhaps you're one of those who isn't very bothered by it. Maybe you could practice wearing a wig to see. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:43 PM Flag
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^sorry, meant for the alopeacia post. I don't have any wisdom for you, but have said a prayer. . . . Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:45 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:56 PM Flag
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op: thank you for everyone's thoughts on this situation. my dh has a problem with alcohol. I know this wouldn't have happened if he was sober. The problem is getting him to understand that he has a problem. This might be the opportunity. but at the same time, i have to think about myself and my dd. for now, he won't be coming home. if we speak, i will tell him to get help and then talk to me. otherwise, we will have to divorce. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:04 PM Flag
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Sounds like you have come to your "a-ha!" moment, as Oprah would say. Assess the level of risk. Are your children still in the house? Is it doable to have him live elsewhere so you are no longer enabling him, while he seeks help? Your refusal to put up with this behavior should motivate him to change. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:14 PM Flag
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Separate. If he goes to rehab, straightens up, counseling, you will reconsider. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:08 PM Flag
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Leave NOW. He will do it again and I recall drinking being a part of the problem. He is sober and remorseful right now but that wont last long. Alcoholics are notorious for not being able to smell their shit. I'm so sorry but good for you for kicking him out. Let him cry the way you cried after he finished hitting you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:20 PM Flag
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Stick to your guns longer than a day [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:16 PM Flag
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marriage counseling with someone who has been abusive has not been shown to be successful. the abuser can manipulate and abuse via the counseling. i highly suggest seeing an individual counselor ASAP - there are crisis hotlines for this. someone mentioned safe horizon, i would give them a call. the first thing you need to do is speak with someone who can help you safety plan. keep your distance until you have assessed with a professional what the dangers are and what your options are. you don't have to do this alone. good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:24 PM Flag
[ - ] Montauk hotel recommendations? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:34 PM Flag
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They're all overpriced gross motel rooms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:41 PM Flag
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okay, well I am going to a wedding so have to sleep somewhere [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:43 PM Flag
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Yes we had to stay at the Montauk yacht club for a wedding and it was horrible. But maybe they've renovated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:44 PM Flag
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Or look at gurneys. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:45 PM Flag
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i southampton? that's like an hour away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:11 PM Flag
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True. But the beaches & local environment are gorgeous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:10 PM Flag
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can you rent a house for a week in amagansett? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:40 PM Flag
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I just need one night for a wedding [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:46 PM Flag
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if it's peak season, you'll end up paying for three. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:47 PM Flag
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Poster from above. Yes that happened to us and my dh was miserable. We literally should have driven to the wedding and come home that night. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:55 PM Flag
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can I jut comment on how inconsiderate people are to hold their wedding so far away with only superexpensive hotel options (that aren't even nice). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:15 PM Flag
[ - ] Favorite designers to wear to work? Need to branch out. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:32 PM Flag
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What kind of work? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:47 PM Flag
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Finance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:12 PM Flag
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finance mom. max mara, akris, the row. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:43 PM Flag
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I like you're style! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:13 PM Flag
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^^your! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:20 PM Flag
[ - ] How do I find a local Hamptons weekend sitter? Thanks! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:27 PM Flag
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we found ours at the tennis club [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:28 PM Flag
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Try Sittercity or Care [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:21 PM Flag
[ - ] Moms with part-time sitters.... How did you find them? I need a sitter for 8-10 hrs per week. We usually hire college or grad students. I do work around their schedule. Do you find college sitters a little flaky? We're in the interview process again. We weed through all the applications and what not. But some of these girls just don't show-up for the interview or call out a lot when we do hire them. I know it's just a babysitting job to them. But are you finding the younger generations work ethic to be so much worse? Some of these girls come to the interview with their LV bags and tori burch shoes, haha! 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:27 PM Flag
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Have not found them flaky at all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:29 PM Flag
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How did you find your sitter and how many hrs goes she work per week? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:25 PM Flag
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High school junior - just asked around to find her - usually 2-3 days a week - 2-3 hours each time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:33 PM Flag
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That's what I need! So you found her through another mom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:39 PM Flag
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Yes - met other mom through school PTA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:08 PM Flag
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Thx! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:14 PM Flag
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How much do you pay the college/ grad students? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:25 PM Flag
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We pay $18 per hour to babysit our 2 toddlers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:40 PM Flag
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What do you care how they spend their money? If you want a different kind of college student, put your add up at a different kind of school. Try Hunter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:31 PM Flag
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I don't care. I just thought it was funny that these girls show-up in designer clothes and bags. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:41 PM Flag
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Why? They were probably gifts and they are expected to earn their own spending money? The bags are probably fake. You can get a fake LV anywhere. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:37 PM Flag
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No, it was real. She told me her mom bought it for her. No biggie. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:45 PM Flag
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You asked her? Jesus. You sound like such a pita. I would hate to work for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:44 PM Flag
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No, this is a girl that used to work for us and she told me. I didn't ask. Why are you so bitter? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:59 PM Flag
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I'm not bitter, I just think you sound judgy. If she works and buys nice things why is that your business? Or if she gets nice gifts and works for spending money? At least she has a work ethic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:57 PM Flag
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Ok, goodbye. You're turning a molehill into a mountain. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:07 PM Flag
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I don't think you should judge the college girls who show up, based on the actions of the ones who blow you off. Also why do you care what they're wearing? As long as they're dressed professionally, why do their LV bags and Tori Burch shoes bother you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:26 PM Flag
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It doesn't bother me! My husband and I would laugh because we're like, "do they really need a job?" LOL! A couple of the sitters we hired in the past came from very wealthy families. So they don't really need the money, which is why we're concerned because they would call out a lot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:43 PM Flag
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Should they come in rags? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:39 PM Flag
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So we go from expensive designer clothes to rags? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:48 PM Flag
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It might fit your stereotype of who should be babysitting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:45 PM Flag
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NP: we know where you are coming from. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:00 PM Flag
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Most youg people who are taking casual PT babysitting gigs don't "need" the money. They just like having extra spending $$ so long as it doesn't interfere w something more important. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:45 PM Flag
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OP: true. Did you have luck finding a reliable PT sitter? We had a couple but then they got a real job, ofcourse. We just would love someone to work with us for a year. But this might be hard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:01 PM Flag
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Have FT nanny instead. I just remember what my priorities were 16-22 and babysitting wasn't it. I wouldn't have been the cancel bc of date or hangover type but during exams/if I had a big paper, it would not have been a priority and I don't think I would have appreciated the bind I may have been putting parents in. (That said, never babysat after jr high) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:07 PM Flag
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Thanks. Do you work FT? I don't so I don't need a FT nanny. But I hear what you're saying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:09 PM Flag
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Barnard Babysitting Service [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:08 PM Flag
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I have found great sitters on Craigs List. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Moms of teens (boys): When they are seniors in high school, most will turn 18 during the school year. Should we forbid them to date freshmen? Will they be expelled and prosecuted for statutory rape if they have sex with a 15 year old? Anyone know if seniors avoid dating freshmen for this reason, or anyone know a boy who was prosecuted for this? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:18 PM Flag
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My saving grace will be that when my oldest is a senior (this next year), my next will be a freshman, and he would consider anyone his younger brother's age to be a kid. No matter how cute she is. Actually my problem is that I think he dates girls too old for him. His last gf earlier this year was 20. He was 17. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:21 PM Flag
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OP: my saving grace is that both ds's will not be 18 until after high school graduation. Although that doesn't mean they aren't still at risk for breaking the law. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:30 PM Flag
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^^^in case you are wondering, I posted because I read a story of an 18 year old lesbian being prosecuted for having sex with a 15 year girl, and it really did seem like a double standard. Do 18 year old boys really avoid freshmen as a rule? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:28 PM Flag
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Most of the seniors like the fresh meat available in 9th grade [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:30 PM Flag
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OP: yes, but are their parents warning them to stay away once they turn 18? Otherwise they can be expelled/prosecuted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:31 PM Flag
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Warn all you want, it doesn't really matter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:35 PM Flag
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Yes, but their parents blame it on the girls. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:32 PM Flag
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Yes, like the 14 year old has some kind of agenda. Ignoring the fact that almost all guys like younger girls who are naive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:34 PM Flag
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OH, so you blame 14 YO girl and not 18 YO guy. This is why laws needed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:37 PM Flag
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You don't get sarcasm, do you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:40 PM Flag
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No. They go after them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:32 PM Flag
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Let me ask. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:28 PM Flag
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My guess would be depending on state law a 15 and an 18 year old may or may not be illegal.I don't think it's something that is normally prosecuted. I would guess most cases when it is prosecuted, the parents are very angry about the relationship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:28 PM Flag
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In most states illegal [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:32 PM Flag
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If you are not NYC, also remember that any DUI in NYS with someone under 16 in the car becomes a felony. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:32 PM Flag
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First, you should educate yourself as to the laws in your state - and educate your DS as well. http://www.cga.ct.gov/2003/olrdata/jud/rpt/2003-r-0376.htm Next - please explain how you "forbid" an 18YO to date someone. Sounds like a good way to ensure they date the person you are 'forbidding' to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:38 PM Flag
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Well, at a minimum, you dont give them money or car to facilitate date. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:34 PM Flag
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OP: "forbid" was a bad choice of words. But I think my ds is smart enough that if I explained he would be prosecuted, expelled, and have a chance to go to jail, he would avoid it. Just like I hope he would avoid driving drunk if he understands how much life-changing trouble that could lead to. But we have to tell them, because in my day, lots of the seniors dated freshmen!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:35 PM Flag
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OR. I texted him. He said "well, it's not exactly common, but it's not like it's going to stop them if they like each other." I answered, so for you personally, the idea of statutory rape would not bother you? He said, "maybe I would think about it, but I don't really see myself being that into a freshman." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:43 PM Flag
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I think that is pretty typical. I remember some freshmen dating seniors, but not a lot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:41 PM Flag
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OP: yes. But what I meant was that no one considered it rape for a senior to have a 15 year old girlfriend he was having sex with back in my day. Now that people are more aware of the law, should parents make sure their kids know? Because I suspect most 18 year old seniors wouldn't even think of it in terms of statutory rape, just whether they liked the girl or not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:58 PM Flag
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I think if you are both still in HS it is not statutory rape. There are parameters for this so they aren't prosecuting seniors for dating freshmen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:03 PM Flag
[ - ] I have alopecia I am lucky enough that it is able to be controlled with injections. I have 2 children and would like to try for a third, but dr told me that there is a chance I could lose all of my hair. Would try to conceive? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:15 PM Flag
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Honestly, no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:13 PM Flag
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I am confused - no at the end of a sentence means yes? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:21 PM Flag
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True - it is a low class trait [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:21 PM Flag
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?? Wtf. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:17 PM Flag
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No, I am American. It means no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:16 PM Flag
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What? Why would it mean, "yes?" If she wrote something like, "Definitely, no?" the question mark used in conjunction with the positive answer would indicate that she is answering in the affirmative, but not in this case. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:19 PM Flag
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no means no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:42 PM Flag
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Why not? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:13 PM Flag
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She has two children already and I would hate to be bald forever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:15 PM Flag
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Bald mothers can be great mothers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:20 PM Flag
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I didn't say she would be a bad mother, I just personally would not want to be bald. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:33 PM Flag
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That is such a personal decision. Many of us only have two kids, period, so would never consider 3 regardless. It depends how important your hair is to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:25 PM Flag
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I have never heard of pg. worsening primary alopecia. You may get the normal telogen affluvium, that most women get when they shed like crazy after birth due to the hair going into a resting phase. i would get a second opinion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:29 PM Flag
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Op: really? Are you familiar ith the condition? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:27 PM Flag
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Yes. Google it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:38 PM Flag
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np-really? google is smarter on this than a physician? please. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:40 PM Flag
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I can not link to medical sites here as you have to have paid subscriptions to read. Most physicians think it would be temporary and just as treatable as she has been after other pregnancies. I would CERTAINLY listen to her Dr., because he/she knows the histology, but I would still get a second opinion. An okay layperson's site: https://www.clinicalkey.com/topics/dermatology/alopecia.html [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:07 PM Flag
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Hair is over-rated. If you want a third, go for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:27 PM Flag
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What if your third child ends up finding a cure for alopecia? Or cancer? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:46 PM Flag
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Have you ever worn a wig? How unhappy were you, and how unhappy do you think you'd be if you had to wear a wig (or headscarf) every day? Few people would prefer to wear wigs, but perhaps you're one of those who isn't very bothered by it. Maybe you could practice wearing a wig to see. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:44 PM Flag
[ - ] Last night I had a 4th date with a guy. He lives a few blocks away, so when we have gone out he texts me when he is nearby and I meet him downstairs. Last night he texted and said "On my way. I will come up." I responded that I would meet him downstairs, to which he responded "I wanted to come up. Reservation is not for awhile." I held my ground and met him downstairs, and he acted very annoyed/pouty that I would not let him come up. If he had said something earlier like "hey our reservation is at 7:00 but do you want to hang out at your place beforehand for a bit?" I would have been OK with it - but I did not like his presumption or his annoyance when I said no. Am I overreacting here? 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:15 PM Flag
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No I don't think you are. What if you had just taken a huge dump and your place smelled - you were saving him from being exposed to this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:24 PM Flag
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- or if you just wanted to finish putting on your make-up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:24 PM Flag
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High maintenance [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:25 PM Flag
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NP or your place was a mess. The issue is not that you were being a bit uptight (I am too!) but that he got so pouty and annoyed about it. Dump. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:20 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:31 PM Flag
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OP: My apartment was a disaster so I really didn't want anyone to see it. But my main issue was with how he just announced he was coming up rather than asking if it was OK. If we had been dating longer I would not mind at all (or if it was a friend), I just hated the presumption. And then the way HE reacted to me saying no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:28 PM Flag
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Yes. Need to chill out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:24 PM Flag
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Yes. You blew it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:24 PM Flag
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Eh, I think I dodged a bullet. His reaction to me saying no showed a side that I did not really like - seems like he may have a bit of an angry streak. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:29 PM Flag
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Listen to your gut. Honestly, to me after 4 dates if a guy is already showing pouty moody nonsense, that is a big giant red flag. He can't fake it? RUN RUN RUN [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:33 PM Flag
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IA. I love how it's all on you ('You blew it') because you made a call based on his reaction. Whether he worded it badly or he was being presumptuous, what you're going by is how it's presented to you and if you don't like how it's presented you can respond however you wish. He blew it is more like it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:37 PM Flag
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np: totally agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 02:19 PM Flag
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I am such an old fogey, I realize. There is a whole generation of dating age kids and young adults whose only communication is via text. I understand your annoyance and most likely he was just thoughtless and not presumptious. Would be better if people talked on the phone like the old days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:21 PM Flag
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If he had reacted better to me saying no, I would think maybe he was just thoughtless/worded it wrong, but his annoyance with me when I said no makes me think he was being presumptuous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:35 PM Flag
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I am an old fogey too, apparently, and I am only 30. My initial reaction was wait, doesn't he ALWAYS come up to her door for their dates? And of course the texting thing. I didn't know adults actually communicated that way, other than to say something like, "in a meeting late, home at 7" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:39 PM Flag
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In NYC, unless you live in the same neighborhood/on the way to where you are going, I think it is rare for a date to "come to your door." In a doorman building, the equivalent is having the doorman call up and meet them downstairs (kinda like dad answering the door I guess LOL) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:42 PM Flag
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Makes sense (I am not cut out for city life as you can imagine - went to law school in the city but then hightailed it out of there) but she did mention he always meets her downstairs before their dates. I was thinking, for the first date at least, he'd come up with flowers?! I know, if anything ever happens to DH I'm screwed when it comes to dating. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:45 PM Flag
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He probably should have phrased it differently, like asking you instead of telling you, but do you like this guy? If so, why be so difficult/weird about him coming up? I would understand a little more if it was after dinner, but it was beforehand and you had a reservation to make. Seems unlikely that he had a hidden agenda. I'm not sure why you would make this an issue if you plan to continue seeing him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:22 PM Flag
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I think it's presumptuous of him to invite himself, but it would have been better to say, "my place is not camera ready. Let's go for a walk/ drink / whatever before we go to the restaurant." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:28 PM Flag
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OP: I actually did say Sorry, my apartment is a mess, no one gets to see it when it is like this - and he still acted annoyed/pouty. It honestly was the presumption and then his attitude when I said no that turned me off. He said "Well what are we supposed to do now? It is raining out and our reservation isn't for another hour." Dude, then don't make a reservation for an hour after we are supposed to meet! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:34 PM Flag
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He seems to lack imagination. Aren't there bars nearby? Shops to browse? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:33 PM Flag
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were your kids at home? I wouldn't let a casual date meet your kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:29 PM Flag
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You date with kids....does your dh know [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:25 PM Flag
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No kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:34 PM Flag
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Why are there so many people with no kids on Urban Baby? I don't have a problem with it, just find it strange. I assume posters here have kids, unless they state otherwise. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:30 PM Flag
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Is his name a five letter word that starts with an S and end in an E? If so, Dump and RUN!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:28 PM Flag
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OMG his name is a 6 letter word that starts with S and ends with N - but the shortened version is 5 letter ends with E! I wonder if it is the same guy.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:37 PM Flag
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Are you in Brooklyn? Does he live on Dekalb? Rrruuuuunnn! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:40 PM Flag
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OP: Nope, not BK. Darn it, I was hoping to have someone to commiserate with! LOL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:48 PM Flag
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I'll still commiserate with you. BK S---e was a wack job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:46 PM Flag
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Goodbye STEVEN! lolol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:47 PM Flag
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He wanted to fool around and assumed you did too. If you don't agree, move on. No judgments. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.20.13, 01:50 PM Flag
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