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[ - ] Please tell me weight is meaningless, I have been working out a lot, running half marathons, weight training and am in the best shape of my life. I have been very happy with how I look in my clothes but I got weight at the drs today and I am 10-15lbs heavier than I used to be. I a, 5'5 and 135, used to be somewhere between 120 and 125. All my clothes fit fine, I can still wear a 0 at jcrew (major vanity sizing I know) but I don't understand how I am so much heavier without even noticing. I this really j just muscle? I have an athletic build but don' think I have bulked up from working out. I am so confused, feel like the ony way to get to the weight I want is to work out less and be less in shape and I don't want to do that since I am proud of how hrd I have been working 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:56 PM Flag
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Clearly then the scale means nothing! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:52 PM Flag
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in terms of a number on a scale, yes, weight is meaningless. if your clothes fit and you aren't starving yourself what is there to be obsessing about? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:52 PM Flag
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I am just shocked i gained 10lbs and didn't notice, people have been telling me I look like I lost weight so it is weird (I think my boobs got smaller so maybe that is why?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 09:01 PM Flag
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Do not listen to the scale! The additional weight is definitely muscle. Be proud of yourself - you are achieving so much! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:54 PM Flag
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You seriously see this as a problem? You sound like you have a poor body image that has nothing to do with reality [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 09:02 PM Flag
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I have a good body image generally but also spend too much time around people that obsess about the number on the scale (and too much time on sites like this where people are called chubby at 120!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 09:03 PM Flag
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I think you sound great. People here lie about everything - especially their weight and clothes size [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 09:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Today's email from the Brown Corporation- "The Corporation elected... new trustee... Ronald O. Perelman P’90, P’17" Which Perelman girl is this? Anyone know her rep? My dd is starting in the fall too 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:43 PM Flag
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I think Jennifer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:47 PM Flag
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No, Anastasia [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:47 PM Flag
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He just got his name on a a Columbia University complex for donating $100 million [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:49 PM Flag
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I think she's the daughter he had with Ellen Barkin [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:49 PM Flag
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The Sons of Anarchy guy! I love him! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:50 PM Flag
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Brown 25: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=008BPUdQ1XA ,From Uranus [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:50 PM Flag
[ - ] Anybody on who is on their second marriage?. Did you have kids from your first marriage?. How old we're you when you married for the second time. How did you meet your second husband?. Looking for inspiration 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:42 PM Flag
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yes, dd is 9, met him at work. It's a rocky situation when there is a kid this age in the house. Maybe it goes more smoothly when they are younger [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:49 PM Flag
[ - ] I noticed a small lump (pea sized) behind my ear on lower side a week ago. I'm not sure but feels like it is getting smaller. Is it something to be concerned? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:41 PM Flag
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Yes. Friend who died of esophigeal (sp.) cancer ignored a lump like that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:43 PM Flag
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It sounds like a cyst but I would get it checked out. Better safe than sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:45 PM Flag
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nodules are common. It could also be a cyst. You are talking about an area where there are already glands, so extra bumps and lumps usually aren't anything to worry about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:51 PM Flag
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true esp if it's getting smaller [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:57 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 09:03 PM Flag
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More likely to be cancer if it's soft. See a doctor STAT either way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 09:00 PM Flag
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Bullshit [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:59 PM Flag
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Do you have anything "going on" on that side of your face? Allergies, a pimple, rash, cold, flu, a cut, etc? If so, could just be a swollen lymph node, esp since it's getting smaller. If it's soft and moves easily when you push it, it's probably a lymph node. Absent any other symptoms, this is 99% NOT cancer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 09:05 PM Flag
[ - ] For those who rent apartments and send your kids to private school, why do you do this as opposed to buying a house in a good suburban district?. Trying to make this decision now and wanted to hear why people who have made the choice to rent and do private chose this over buying in the burbs 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:31 PM Flag
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send kids to private over living in burbs because not willing to give up the culture of NYC (we both work in art/culture fields). That said, we're not renting, we bought an apt., it's just smaller than the space we'd really like to have for our family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:34 PM Flag
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Because if you buy a house in the suburbs you have to live in the suburbs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:37 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:44 PM Flag
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I am selling my house in suburbia with good publics and choosing to rent and send dcs to private. I am planning on doping this for 10 years (til youngest dc graduates hs). I understand that I am giving up the opportunity to realize equity, but if I am living in the city, I don't want to be house poor (I need 3 bedrooms plus an office). I want to be able see shows, eat out etc and a down payment and mortgage would be fine, but then the monthly fees on top of that... We are moving partly because of commute and the fact that all of dcs activities require me driving them. It also has to do with suburban culture (or lack thereof). There is not much to do where I live, and what there is pales in comparison to the city. I have chosen schools that, while not TT by UB standards seem like they will be a perfect fit for my dcs interests. So I am seeing this as a medium-term proposition, and have budgeted knowing how I want to choose to spend my money. I also own a summer house, so I'll continue to build equity in that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:36 PM Flag
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Thanks for the detailed response. I am divorced with one dd and getting a lot of flak from family to buy and build equity but I am leery of the burbs and would prefer to rent (can't afford decent sized apt) and send dd to private school as opposed to moving to burbs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:45 PM Flag
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I responded below. I would totally stay in city if I were a single mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:46 PM Flag
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Thanks, I totally agree but everyone is telling me renting is a waste if money [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:48 PM Flag
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OR from selling my house above. If you have made sound financial decisions in the past, tell family to but out. This is your choice. Renting does not mean that you can't save/invest in other ways and people who bought their homes at the top of the market haven't built up much equity ( and many are upside down on their investments). I think that life with one dd in the city would be much more fulfilling than the single life in the burbs esp. if you work here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:48 PM Flag
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Yes I work in manhattan [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 09:00 PM Flag
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We stay in city b/c we both work in Manhattan, and I can't deal with long commute. Also, we have tons of family help in the city since our family is here. We wouldn't have that if we lived in the suburbs. Plus, we can't afford to buy in a good school district anyway. We're on FA at a private. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:45 PM Flag
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Most people don't want to be at work in the city while their kids are at school in the burbs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:53 PM Flag
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This decision is usually based on wanting to stay in the city and wanting private schools and has nothing to do with buying a house. IMO, the idea that buying a home is always a better financial decision than renting is a bill of goods sold to the American public. Sometimes it may be and for many people it is a form of forced savings that they wouldn't otherwise do, but I don't think it's the end all be all. Be a good saver on your own! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 09:01 PM Flag
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why do you have to do private? buy an apartment and do public. you do realize there are some incredible public options. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 09:05 PM Flag
[ - ] What's the average "normal" sex drive? 3 times a week? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:24 PM Flag
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if that's true I"m in trouble -- try a couple times a month. (age 45, fwiw). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:28 PM Flag
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^w/ 2 dcs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:25 PM Flag
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I would say once a week, if you have dc's... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:30 PM Flag
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I have no children and I wish he would stop sweating all over me for nothing. I have to be coaxed. lol Love oral but sometimes wish it were a stranger. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:27 PM Flag
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Are you my DH? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:37 PM Flag
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lol awww man men get like this? could it be erection probs? health? drugs? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:33 PM Flag
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Mostly it's just that he is overworked. He gets home from work at 9 or 10, then needs a few hours to decompress. It's a struggle to get him to bed before 1. When he gets to bed he collapses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:42 PM Flag
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This is me. DH here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:59 PM Flag
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haha...mine just goes in for it. dude, you have to at least try to turn me on first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:44 PM Flag
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Whatever feels natural to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:33 PM Flag
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I'm 27... I'd have it every night if I could. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:40 PM Flag
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Damn I envy you. I was like this at 21/22, by 28 poof-gone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:36 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 09:04 PM Flag
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i would say, this, if I feel okay about my body at the time. 24 with eating disorder issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:43 PM Flag
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There is no normal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:35 PM Flag
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different for everybody. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:36 PM Flag
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Married for 6 years so far, not kids, and we have sex once a week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:43 PM Flag
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there is no "normal". Once a week to once a month is probably the most common [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:54 PM Flag
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Before my wife cheated on me around once a month, now that we went through all this and are back together, pretty much 3-5 times a week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:55 PM Flag
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So is it still "starting anew" sex? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:58 PM Flag
[ - ] For those who have 529 plans for their toddler, how much money do you contribute to the plan on a monthly basis?. Thanks 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:22 PM Flag
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mine is now 9 y/o but I started at age 2 and put in $500/month [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:24 PM Flag
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2.5k [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:25 PM Flag
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for more than 1 kid I assume, the cap is 13,500 a year [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:33 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:56 PM Flag
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np: this is wrong. 1) the annual gift tax exclusion is now $14K per donor, per recipient. that means that if you're married you can gift $28K/year to each child wo gift tax implications; 2) 529 plans have a 5-year forwarding advantage which actually allows you to use 5 years worth of annual gift tax exclusion gifts all at once. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 09:07 PM Flag
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we do $10000/year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:31 PM Flag
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We max for each kid, It might be up to 14K a year now. I know when we started it was 12.5K a year [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:40 PM Flag
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What's your target amount for each kid then? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:36 PM Flag
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I believe it will be around 235K for each of them 18 years X13,000, sadly at the rate it is going it still might not be enough [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:44 PM Flag
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I know [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 09:00 PM Flag
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$1000/ month. Been doing for 10 years [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:34 PM Flag
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That's awesome [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Serious question (S/O most popular post): How old are you and how many people have you slept with? Include number of years in LTR/marriage. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:21 PM Flag
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30, 7, 12 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:30 PM Flag
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45, stopped counting at 20 but not too much higher than that, 8. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:26 PM Flag
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37,11, 15. I had a few busy years as a young lady. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:37 PM Flag
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48, 10, 24 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:39 PM Flag
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40, 1, 7 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:41 PM Flag
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wow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:53 PM Flag
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29 / 3 / 6 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:45 PM Flag
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How many times can this be asked in one freaking day?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:46 PM Flag
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38, about a dozen but I didn't keep track [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:54 PM Flag
[ - ] We are moving for DH's job. We are TTC and I plan to stay home with DB when he/she comes. Because of all this I'm not really looking for work when we move. I'll continue to freelance, but there are not as many opportunities for me where we are moving. I'm not committed to not working, if after a few months I've completed all the tasks involved with setting up a home and still not pregnant, I'll start to look. My problem is, what do I tell people? People are constantly asking "what will you be doing in the new town?" I don't want to tell everyone I'm TTC. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:20 PM Flag
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Tell them that you're going to freelance and worry about finding work once you're settled. Beyond that, it's really no one's concern. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:22 PM Flag
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Thank you, I don't know why I didn't think to phrase it like that. I guess my insecurities are getting the best of me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:29 PM Flag
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or: No worries. Sometimes you just need an outside eye to tell you what's right in front of your face. Happy to help. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:31 PM Flag
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Just say you are going to work on getting everything set up and settled in while doing some freelance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:30 PM Flag
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Just tell them you're waiting to see about the opportunities in the new place [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:55 PM Flag
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You could say that your resume is out there, looking for the right fit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:57 PM Flag
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I think it would be less stressful TTCing if you had a job in the new place. Imagine it otherwise - you're in a new town, you don't know anyone, you're not working, and you're sitting around waiting to get PG. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:59 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone who is single but dating in your 40's, how do/did you meet (long term relationship quality) men? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:16 PM Flag
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through family (no kidding) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:40 PM Flag
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there aren't many places to meet men of any type - family, friends, work, church, by accident [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:56 PM Flag
[ - ] If you used formula, which kind did you use? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:09 PM Flag
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Alimentum- milk allergy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:09 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:15 PM Flag
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Similar pre mixed. Was not cheap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:18 PM Flag
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+1. But we only used it as a supplement if I hadn't been able to pump, so the price wasn't a big deal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:26 PM Flag
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Oops similac. Autocorrect fail. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:33 PM Flag
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Enfamil. My 21 mo still loves it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:14 PM Flag
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Enfamil Gentlease. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:18 PM Flag
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Parents choice organic. Cheapest organic on the market. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:20 PM Flag
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Similac Sensitive (orange). Used ready-made (pre-mixed) initially, but then switched to powder. Powder ended up being way cheaper and more convenient. If I had it to do over again, I would have started with powder. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:20 PM Flag
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Similac premixed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:24 PM Flag
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Baby's Only [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:35 PM Flag
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Similac Advance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:46 PM Flag
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Similac organic [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:58 PM Flag
[ - ] Teach me how to look good on casual days without wearing jeans or yoga pants... TIA!! 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:08 PM Flag
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Skirt or dress. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:09 PM Flag
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Day dress. Done. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:12 PM Flag
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don't listen to the yoga pants post [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:21 PM Flag
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Casual day at work is not really casual. Yoga pants never appropriate at work unless you teach yoga. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:34 PM Flag
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A dress [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:25 PM Flag
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If you really like yoga pants, try leggings with a long tunic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:26 PM Flag
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maxi dress [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:56 PM Flag
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Long peasant skirt with tee [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:57 PM Flag
[ - ] Advice needed: At dh's urging, BIL has gotten admission to an MBA program. He already has an MBA and is using this as a way to come to the US to love and work. BIL is 27 yo and my MIL and FIL have passed away. Dh wants to pay for BIL's tuition and expenses but we absolutely cannot afford it. We have no savings and are still working through mine and dh's student loan debt with about 40K to go. How do I tell my dh that it isn't our responsibility to pay for BIL's tuition when he feels like it is? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:07 PM Flag
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^^^live and work [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:08 PM Flag
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"Marriage is a partnership. This partner does not agree. Make a unilateral decision to pay for your brother's tuition and you can be assured that this partnership is dissolved." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:17 PM Flag
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yikes. how does dh plan to pay for his brother's school with so much debt already? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:18 PM Flag
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I have no idea I will ask him this... He did mention taking out student loans which we would pay back. He is the oldest so he wants to be there the way a parent would be but I don't think we would even pay for our own db's MBA... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:15 PM Flag
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most business schools (if not all) won't admit somebody who already has MBA from elsewhere. This makes no sense. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:24 PM Flag
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The MBA in his home country is not considered the same as an MBA here. I thought he same thing too but apparently I was wrong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:21 PM Flag
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In most of the world, it would be an undergrad degree - effectively a business major (just like law would be) and not a graduate degree. Makes sense to me that a US school would admit a foreign student under those circumstances. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:25 PM Flag
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Is there a PT option in the MBA program or a way to not take a full semester load? Does the student visa allow BIL to work in the field? Can BIL live with you to reduce expenses? I agree that it sounds like a not so great financial decision to do any of it BUT if your DH and this BIL are each other's only siblings and their parent's have died, it may be worse for your marriage in the long-run to insist that you not help him come to teh US. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:14 PM Flag
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He has to go full time for the student visa and he can work but only on campus. Our plan was to have him live with us but he only got accepted into out of state schools unfortunately. BIL is amazing and would never take a dime from us but also will do anything dh tells him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:18 PM Flag
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I feel like this is something my DH would do. I feel for you. Perhaps take DH to see a financial planner and have him/her explain that you are not in such a position, as this is what I might do for a similar issue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:21 PM Flag
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Ty. That sounds like an idea. I love BIL and want to help him however we truly can but without driving us into bankruptcy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:19 PM Flag
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If your dh cannot help him, how does your bil plan to pay for it? I think BIL should be more responsible for his own education. He must have understood how expensive the schools are even before applying to schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:28 PM Flag
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He says he will take loans. Dh doesn't want BIL to have the burden of student loans the way we have. I think dh also feels guilty we aren't making more and are not able to be more generous to family that is struggling. Our HHI is 240K and live in Jersey City but undergrad and masters debt has been a burden for us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:32 PM Flag
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I'm guessing you are Indian (I already thought that with your post, but living in Jersey City kind of nails it). In my opinion, Indians both have the feeling that they need to care for (financially support) their relatives from abroad (often times because they feel guilty that they are leading better lives). My parents did it for like 10 different people (bought them cars, schooling, paid for marriages, etc). Unfortunately, this did not lead to gratitude in any of them- as Indians from India also have a huge sense of entitlement and feel that this is their due/you can afford if it you work in America. So I would say- be careful. You honestly can Not afford it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:36 PM Flag
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I'm too transparent. You're right - we already send way too much money home for distant relatives weddings, education, living expenses... It becomes a burden but I want to do what we can because some family members live hand to mouth and here we are with good jobs, a nice apartment, a car... When you grew up without anything and family gives you so much love it is hard to make these dicisions. Thank you for listening and giving me your advice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:42 PM Flag
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^^^also I was born here so I'm always afraid of coming off as the spoiled American who forgot her roots. It puts me in a difficult position at times. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:45 PM Flag
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OR: I sensed that because I'm of Indian-descent born in America, married to a DH whose immediate family still lives in India. So I'm very sensitive to your concerns! But as my DH always admonishes me, when in India you have to think like an Indian/ not an American. The idea of paying 40K a year for another relative's degree (when you can't afford it) would be unthinkable to an Indian. If you do it, they would assume its because you can easily afford it. Indian's just do not make huge gestures like that-- frankly, generosity like that is an American-thing. Why not encourage your BIL to apply for jobs in the US, and then repeat his MBA at a point in the future when he can afford to pay/take out loans? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:51 PM Flag
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ITA. Shows a lack of strategic thinking. Poor MBA candidate! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:33 PM Flag
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Dh urged BIL to do this even though BIL was resistant because he didn't want to become a burden on us. I'm happy he is coming to the US I'm just trying to figure out the economics. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:36 PM Flag
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It sounds like since you have debt that DH's parents did not pay his way so why should he pay Bil's I could see helping if they had paid for all DH's schooling and they passed away before helping BIL but that does not seem like it is the case. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:37 PM Flag
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Why does he feel responsible for BIL? You have to know that before you can work through the issue [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:58 PM Flag
[ - ] SECOND TAROT mom are you here? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:03 PM Flag
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oh please stop this silliness [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:58 PM Flag
[ - ] Just went off the pill and 6 weeks later got my period--does that mean I definitely ovulated? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:01 PM Flag
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I am asking myself the same question but the ovulation pee sticks are saying no (so far). sigh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:04 PM Flag
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I got prego while on the pill at 40 - I think you have to give it 2 cycles. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:41 PM Flag
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one more period to be sure [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:59 PM Flag
[ - ] I know this topic has been beaten to death but I need some advice. Had a baby 5 months ago and went back to work 2 weeks ago: I can't help but want to be home with my baby but I am so conflicted. I work 6 hours, 3 days a week and we have a nanny. I love my job and being able to get out of the house but of course I want to be a "perfect" mom who is always there for her kids. How do you make it all work? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 07:59 PM Flag
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You have it perfect. Stfu [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:03 PM Flag
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THIS! You don't need to know how the rest of us manage to make it "all" work because don't have to manage it all. You only have one dc, a dh who makes plenty of money, a nanny, and an 18 hr/week dream job. Sorry, no sympathy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:05 PM Flag
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No kidding. Vba. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:12 PM Flag
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T H I S [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:30 PM Flag
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Your schedule sounds perfect. It may feel hard now but I think you will feel very balanced as db gets older. Give it a little more time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 07:57 PM Flag
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You don't make it all work. Sometimes you come up short for one thing, sometimes for the other. Just like your DH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:03 PM Flag
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You have the best of both worlds. Be grateful and enjoy it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:05 PM Flag
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I want to be you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 07:59 PM Flag
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people would kill for this kind of arrangement. As your baby grows it will need you less as it will socialize with other people. Give it more time. It's only been 2 weeks. If you still feel the same in a year reconsider [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:00 PM Flag
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you'll kick yourself like crazy when baby turns into small child and you gave up this absolutely perfect schedule [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:01 PM Flag
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Perfection is off the table as a parent. Believe it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:02 PM Flag
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ITA. There is no such person as a "perfect" parent. So don't even try to be one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:13 PM Flag
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I liked the "of course". Rookie mistake! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:20 PM Flag
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how can you NOT make it work with working schedule like that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:09 PM Flag
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Seriously! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:27 PM Flag
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6 hours 3 days a week is perfect. you are not missing much. stop feeling guilty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:06 PM Flag
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If you still feel the same way in October then re-evaluate. It sounds like a great arrangement to me, but only you know what will make you the happiest. Your hormones are still up and down right now, so give it some time to settle. GL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:42 PM Flag
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There is no such thing as a perfect mom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:59 PM Flag
[ - ] realistically, what are your chances of having a baby at 41-42, without fertility treatments? I hear different stories and statistics. My sister is thinking of ttc and I just want her to have a realistic approach so that she doesn't waste too much time (she's waited so long already). 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 07:54 PM Flag
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I did, just luck of the draw [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:03 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:16 PM Flag
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Your chances aren't good, despite all the UB anecdotes. Here's a chart that shows that the majority of women who TTC at your sister's age, fail: http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a6155/your-age-and-fertility [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:07 PM Flag
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i think chances are better if it's not your first, but overall, they are on the lower side. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:08 PM Flag
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Not sure what the stats are but I had zero issues at 42. Of course fertility decreases with age but honestly I think the main reason you don't see more women in their early 40s having kids is they are on birth control and aren't trying... Good luck to your sister! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:04 PM Flag
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Db1 a surprise-easy peasy at 40. Db2 took 10 months lots of ovulation sticks, acupuncture & emerita cream. Got pg at 43. It can be done! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:09 PM Flag
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what is emerita cream? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:36 PM Flag
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I got pregnant with DD at 41 after 3mths of trying (all natural...just went out with my DH and got a little drunk), and got pregnant with DS when my daughter was 2mths old. Irish twins, completely healthy, no allergies, perfect! Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:17 PM Flag
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She has likely googled this to death herself and is more afraid of never having her own child than of all of the risks associated with having DC at "advanced" age and % chance of not conceiving. Don't be Debbie Downer on this (especially if you already have DCs yourself!), just support here. We all know people who have done this and we all know people who have had fertility issues in their 30s, more anecdotal examples here won't help your sister. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:20 PM Flag
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You're right, thanks. I had my kids in my 20s, so I haven't thought about this stuff for a while. She was the one who was busy building her career, didn't meet the right guy until her late 30s etc. I don't want to be a downer, but just worried I guess. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:24 PM Flag
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it happens all the time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:59 PM Flag
[ - ] I was interviewing for a job. Direct supervisor is someone I've been acquainted with in social/work settings for years. I told her before the final round (last week)that I think I should bow out of the running because I was going to stay freelance. It's been about 10 days and I think I made a mistake and should have pursued the final round. Can I go back and tell her this, or did I screw this up? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 07:54 PM Flag
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I think you've probably screwed it up. Why did you go through the whole process and then quit? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:00 PM Flag
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Op: long story. Has to do with DH wanting us to be more mobile and other (potentially lucrative but not right now) freelance passion projects. Because she's a friend, I was open about the fact that i had other projects I was juggling. I realize it is a great job and that the structure would do me some good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:01 PM Flag
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You can try but you are going to come off as flaky at best. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 07:54 PM Flag
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yep [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:10 PM Flag
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Yep this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:05 PM Flag
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I think you screwed it up. why did you tell her that? or why did you change your mind? either way, I think it's too late [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:05 PM Flag
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You screwed up. Dont mean to be harsh but you will look extremely flakey if you go back to her now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:10 PM Flag
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+1 how can she trust that you won't change your mind again after being on the job for 6 weeks/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:38 PM Flag
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I don't think they would consider you as a potential candidate anymore. You are done this time. You made a mistake, learn your lesson, and move on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 08:59 PM Flag
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They have already moved on without you. Too late to change your mind but you can tell the person that you will be interested in the next opportunity that comes around [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.13, 09:00 PM Flag
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