UrbanBaby

[ - ] I'm starting to interview doulas today. What questions MUST I ask? Thanks in advance!!! 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 07.03.12, 10:52 AM Flag

[ - ] Has anyone used the doula services of Lisa Gould Rubin? Any info would be so appreciated. Thank you in advance! 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.29.12, 12:14 PM Flag

[ - ] Would LOVE your feedback on these doulas: Sarah Kaylor, Elizabeth (Beth) Stein, Dahlyt Berenzibar, Megan Davidson, Meredith Finnerty, Jordan Christopher, & Elsa Asher. Thanks a mill! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.29.12, 11:11 AM Flag

didn't love Elsa. she was kind of pointless, if you ask me. nice girl but vapid. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:48 AM Flag

^^also, she was a scheduling nightmare. always running late, email response very slow, multiple rescheduled appts, having to track her down, etc... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:51 AM Flag

Thank you for letting me know! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:54 AM Flag

no problem. wish I had thought to ask! good luck and congrats!!! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:59 AM Flag

Awww, thanks! Same to you! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 12:00 PM Flag

I HATE irresponsible people, especially in finite situations (like pregnancy) that revolve around people doing what they're supposed to do when they're supposed to do it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 12:18 PM Flag

Megan Davidson was my doula and she was fantastic. Highly recommended. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 04.29.13, 03:56 AM Flag

[ - ] Has any one here delivered with Dr. Alex Tepper, using Deborah Badran as their doula? If so, please share! 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.29.12, 10:32 AM Flag

I used deborah but with a different OB. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 10:33 AM Flag

I might have used that doula. I know her first name is Deborah. Describe her? Is she 50's reddish brown hair, beautiful blue eyes? If so she was my doula. I had a different doctor. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 10:34 AM Flag

Thanks for the response. Yes - that's her! Did you like her? Is it true that she asks for the entire fee upfront in cash? If so, that scares me a bit. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 10:40 AM Flag

first responder:i don't remember how we paid her but i think up front isn't unusual for a doula. you are in part paying for availability. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 10:41 AM Flag

Thank you for your input. I have heard great things, but am a bit thrown off by the few overwhelmingly negative reviews she's gotten here. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 10:57 AM Flag

I really liked her. she does seem a little hippy-dippy but in labor, she was all business and really helped me; staff at my hospital knew her and they all worked well together. she also visited pp. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:24 AM Flag

Thanks again for your help. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:58 AM Flag

I honestly don't remember that. I did use her and liked her. I had to have an emergency section at the end of it all but not her fault. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:17 AM Flag

p.s. she helped me throughout pregnancy and you call them in the middle of the night - it's a lot of hours they put in. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:19 AM Flag

Thanks again. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:57 AM Flag

How much a doula charges ? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 10:56 AM Flag

For Deborah Badran, $2500. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 10:58 AM Flag

The ones I interviewed living in NJ and helping me deliver at Cornell were between $1300 and $1900. Usually a deposit of up to half due upon booking. The rest is payable before delivery, or not paid if a scheduled C-section needs to be done and the doula won't be needed (deposit forfeited). [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 12:24 PM Flag

Thanks for that info. The price and fee structure that you got sound a lot better! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.30.12, 05:23 AM Flag

Why do you need a doula for ? Sorry for my ignorance. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:06 AM Flag

I'm still learning, but they help you to avoid a c-section (NYC hospitals often rush to cut), advocate for you in labor, and help you to manage pain if you hope to avoid or put off an epidural. Do a search -- a lot of the women here are more well-versed than I am. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:12 AM Flag

Doulas work for the woman and no one else and represent her wishes when she's not in a situation conducive to advocating for herself. So while the doctor or midwife is interested in keeping the woman safe and healthy and delivering a healthy baby, they also have to take the hospital's best interest into account when they make decisions. The doula also stays with the woman throughout the labor, doctors and nurses and midwives do not (though my midwives stayed with me the whole time I was at the birthing center I delivered at, but birthing centers are not hospitals and I was the only woman in labor when I delivered both times). [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:34 AM Flag

Interesting...I'd never considered the midwife's potential conflict of interest. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:58 AM Flag

Unless it's a homebirth, the midwife still has to follow hospital or birthing center protocol and policy. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 01:07 PM Flag

Yes, I went to him for one of my pregnancies. I didn't use a doula though. I wasn't crazy about him because he didn't explain things well. He was always in a rush to get to the next patient. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:58 AM Flag

NP: This is exactly why doulas are helpful. To explain things and to stay with you so things aren't rushed. Also to give you tips and suggestions through labor. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 12:13 PM Flag

Good point. In my experience there is no such thing as a "perfect" doc in the sense of explanation. It's just that some are much much better than others. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 12:47 PM Flag

Do not use Debra Badran. We had a terrible experience with her. I will not post the details because they are private. You need to take the negative reviews very seriously. There are many great doulas out there, and you should choose someone else. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.30.12, 06:06 AM Flag

Thank you for writing me again. I wish I could get the personal details of your experience at least via private e-mail, but understand that you don't want to share. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.03.12, 10:51 AM Flag

I wasn't very happy with him. Sometimes he said inappropriate things which I usually ignored but after a while I didn't want to hear it anymore. Yes, I agree that he does not explain much. You have to chase after him to ask a question or voice a concern. Even during labor I felt like he wanted to rush things so that he could get back to his office. If I could do it all over again, I would have went to a different doctor. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.30.12, 07:47 PM Flag

[ - ] just had an ultrasound (20 week scan) the other day and doc said my baby has ventriculomelagy (excess fluid in brain). my measurement was 12mm (10mm is normal). having an amnio today, per his reco. thing is, all of my test results have been great thus far. has anyone gone thru anything similar to this? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.29.12, 07:22 AM Flag

I'm sorry to hear this. Hopefully the amnio will have good results. Praying for you. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.29.12, 07:32 AM Flag

[ - ] for working moms out there: anyone taken a really short mataernity leave, and successfully jumped back in? by short, I dont mean less than 6 months. I mean less than a month- 2 weeks, to be exact. I'm in med school, very early on in my pregnancy and doubt id be "officially" be given more time off than that, without being forced to skip the rotation and hence stay back an entire year. with my first kid, I really was back on my feet 10 days later, albeit tired. we moved across the country when DS was 21 days old, and so in ten days, I packed up our apartment basically all on my own, as my DH was out in NY setting stuff up for us there. We didnt have a night nurse though so I was up every couple hours with him. if I manage to get more sleep, and am as fit during this pregnancy as the last, IF childbirth itself goes well, do people think that its possible to get back to school within 2 weeks? please say yes.... 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.28.12, 01:10 AM Flag

I say no. It is not fair to you, or the new baby, or your family to do this. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 02:00 AM Flag

It also isn't fair to patients in the future, you will not retain anything you learn in that time [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 04:49 AM Flag

I had to go back to work immediately after DB #1. Had unexpected c section, worked from home for 2 weeks then back in the office. We had a full time baby nurse though. Know that you will have to supplement with formula and probably not bf for a long time. DD is fine. GL! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 03:09 AM Flag

thanks!!!! wow! with a C section too! that makes me feel so much better, you dont even know!! I plan on having a full time nurse, this time around, no question about it. totally ok with formula, was the first time around too. ill nurse AM and PM for as long as I can, and thats it, but nursing cannot be my top priority. how did you PHYSICALLY FEEL going back to work? did you drive? cab? train? like litearlly- was walking difficult? do you have a desk job? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 03:47 AM Flag

Subway to and from work and short walk to and from subway (maybe 7 blocks total). I felt pretty capable a week after delivery and could walk fine. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:12 AM Flag

My orthodontist did this. I thought it was unbelievable--she didn't skip a beat. I think that she must have had mom + husband + nanny for full day and night coverage. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 03:20 AM Flag

thanks for another + story. Im in medical school and I am not allowed more than 14 days off from the rotation I will be doing when I am due, or else I have to stay back the year. I WILL have my mom around, she said shell stay for as long as i need, + MIL has offered her help- she said shed prefer to come AFTER my mom leaves, so that she can lend a hand too, but not when her being there is just taking up useless space (which i think was really sweet of her). + supportive husband. + nanny. +we totally plan on getting a night nurse. the practicalities I think i have worked out. its just the question of "will i physically be able to be on my feet for a few hrs/day 2 weeks later" that Im freaking about. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 03:49 AM Flag

If that is freaking you out that much (and, frankly, it should - the first baby is pretty tough), then just take the year out. I understand it's keeping you from earnings for another year and from finishing, but I just don't see how this is worth it. You sound really motivated and ambitious, so it's not as though a year out is going to keep you from being a doctor. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 08:20 AM Flag

Its my second baby. with my first, I packed up our house for a cross country move, on my own, 19 days postpartum (DH was already out there setting stuff up). I was NOT working, but I was physically and intellectually busy- no pregnancy brain or anything with me. 1 wk postpartum, I WAS exhausted, and I remember going grocery shopping and getting a manicure, and wanting to get home and to relax more than anything. 3 weeks I was good. I dont remember 2 weeks, thats my problem, it was an in between period. I hope ill make it. its my ambition precisely that is keeping me FROM taking a year off. I will be miserable home for a year, doing absolutely nothing. lets face it. I have a BA in biology. I have no marketable skills other than pipetting in a lab. which, FTR, I did (at the rockefeller institute, cool place) for 2 years while deciding if i really wanted to go to med school. I HATE LABS. I HATE RESEARCH. I WILL BE MISERABLE. I AM ambitious, I love what I'm doing, and my worst nightmare IS having to take a year off :). not to mention, its literally throwing away money for another year. we arent poor, but med school isnt cheap either.... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 10:39 AM Flag

I find this so sad. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 04:07 AM Flag

ITA. How unfair to the baby [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 04:52 AM Flag

Me too, is one yer really more important than your baby? Or your sanity for that matter. I was physically fine a week after both births but I was in no state of mind to go back to work and leave my baby, they need you at the beginning and you miss out in so much if you go back at that point. Unless you have to work to stop your family from starving I don't understand why anyone would do this. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 04:52 AM Flag

it sounds like the baby will have 5 loving adults looking after her. I do not think it sounds sad at all. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:37 AM Flag

Lots of residents/med students do this. You'll be fine. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 04:33 AM Flag

I am a Dr and went back after 5 wks for both DD, but my job was not patient care, it was research. What made it possible is DH who was home both times (and one time a nanny). The thing is, two weeks is VERY short, if you have to have a section, it could be only a few days after you get home from the hospital, and [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 04:59 AM Flag

cont. It doesn't give you time to establish nursing pumping bottle feeding; you'd almost have to start bottle on day 1 which you might not want to do. I think for a short mat leave 6-8 wks is reasonable, not less. But people do it. You might be able to do it physically, but you will be TIRED. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:00 AM Flag

cont. If you do it, keep your expectations low and get lots of help. I personally think for the baby it's better for them to have you around when they're old enough to really notice, and they WILL get to know you even if you just nurse most nights. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:02 AM Flag

thanks alot. I know ill be tired. but I have tired on my agenda for the next like 8 years, til I finish residency/fellowship etc. I know worst case scenario is taking a leave of absence. Im being realistic. But I also just wanted to hear from other moms that getting back within 2 weeks (IF i dont have a c section- thats a bit of a game changer), is possible. Im tired all the time anyway, without a new baby ;), just having a toddler and school to manage. exhaustion i can handle. a year off being a SAHM, I think ill really be miserable. its just not me. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:11 AM Flag

Maybe I am hormonal from just giving birth, but this post made me cry. I don't even want to go back after a 4 month leave. What is so terrible about missing the rotation and having a year off with your new baby? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:00 AM Flag

Also a very good option! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:02 AM Flag

nothing. if you can afford it... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 06:30 AM Flag

If you're in med school, you know that you can't predict what your physical condition will be after childbirth. You can't plan on 2-4 weeks. You will certainly get 6 weeks, as that is the disability period. You can make it up. I know it seems like it, but you're not the only one to have a baby in med school. It's been done before. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:17 AM Flag

OP here, I'm in medical school, not a resident. there is no FMLA. 10 days weeks is considered the maximum amount of time you are allowed as an "excused" absence for medical reasons during a rotation. Ive looked into it. NO one is firing you, or docking your pay, thats the difference. *I* am paying them. and THEY say, if you want more time than that off, keep your money, and return in a year. unfortunately, its that simple. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 07:13 AM Flag

i dont know- between the new baby and trying to spend time with #1 it will be a very precious emotional time for all involved....i remeber when #2 was born i never gave myself a break because when he would sleep it was time to give my attention to #1, on top of household duties and trying to get myself back into the real world.... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:32 AM Flag

MD Mom: many of my friends and co-residents took <6 weeks and were fine, you just have to have childcare and pumping established. I was an attg, so was lucky to have 10 weeks. No maternity leave is enough, but if everything is OK and you plan accordingly, you will be fine [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 06:32 AM Flag

op here, thanks !!!!!!!!!!! Im (obviously) pretty early on, so its not like Ive told anyone. I think I just need the "boost of confidence," and hearing from others who have been thru what I have (ie- pregnancy/childbirth and having been in med school, not necessarily both concurrently), telling me, I know what youre going thru and ITS GOING TO BE OK. so thanks. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 07:15 AM Flag

my sister was doing surgery residence and took less than 1 month. seems to be common in medicine. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 07:04 AM Flag

ha thanks so much! just hearing other peopole have BTDT, makes this whole thing a bit more palatable. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 07:14 AM Flag

Of course you can -- and it is actually common both for medical residents and the millions of people who simply don't the luxury of foregoing a paycheck for months. The advantage you have over the latter is that you can pay someone to do the night shift at home for you so that you can sleep. It is expensive, but even if you have to go into debt to do it, given that you will be earning a good salary soon, you should get a 24 hour baby nurse for the first 3 months. Just be sure when you hire that you make clear that you are a doctor and will be going back to work in 2 weeks. Some baby nurses are real prima donnas and expect the mother to do a shocking amount of things for them. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 07:08 AM Flag

thanks alot. I am pretty fortunate in that we can afford a baby nurse. and we live really close to the hospital. i'm not scared about the practicalities, I am super thankful that I have an excellent support system in place. im scared about judgement by attendings towards the end, (judgement=docking my grades b/c obv on the wards e/t is subjective), and my physical state 2 wks pp. I can only base it on how i was last pregnancy, which was totally fine 2 wks later. idk.... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 07:17 AM Flag

It can be done. I was back after 4 weeks of my C section. I felt I could have been back earlier. I was driving and doing all of the stuff at home in 3 weeks. In 4 weeks I was operating/standing for long hrs. I was involved in direct patient care and it was fine. Though later I slipped into depression. As a resident I was supposed to stay after hrs too and had to face bad traffic that made me sad as I could not see baby in day time at all. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 07:17 AM Flag

thanks! ill be on either peds or family medicine (depending on whether i give birth at 38 wks-like last time, or 39/40 wks, or am overdue, etc) so thankfully, no standing for 6 hr periods. if this interfered with my surgery rotation whatsoever, Id be forcing myself to take the year off, being that surgery is where I hope to be heading. THANK GOD it doesnt. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 07:20 AM Flag

had a baby during internship year (unplanned pregnancy- I had an IUD!), had the baby on a Fri night, was back 16 days later (ie, got home from the hopsital with my new baby Sunday morning, was back at work 2 Sundays later at 6 AM). It was not physically or emotionally easy, I will not lie, but I knew I was leaving my baby in good hands (my parents live in the neighborhood, and I have an amazing nanny). I started night float two weeks later, which was actually nice (ironically) because I got to see my kid during sunlight hours...:). You can do it! Good luck!! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.30.12, 12:08 PM Flag

[ - ] First baby on the way. Budget will be limited so I can stay home. Are we better off in a 1-bedroom with a washer & dryer or a 2-bedroom without? Tips for living with an infant in a 1-bedroom (plus 2 cats)? TIA 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.27.12, 10:46 AM Flag

2BR. Assuming you mean washer & dryer in the apartment itself? Or do you mean just having one in the building vs. having to travel to a laundromat? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 10:50 AM Flag

In the apartment itself. It seems like the price difference between a 1BR with W/D and a 1BR without W/D is about $100/month in my area. I figure I will spend at least that much on laundry anyway. In California so we don't have "buildings" but sprawled out complexes where the W/D could be far away. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 11:00 AM Flag

2BR without (if it's in the building) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 10:56 AM Flag

What if it's not in the building and we had to go to a laundromat? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 11:01 AM Flag

cleaning lady [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 12:08 PM Flag

2BR and sign up for a laundry delivery service. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 10:58 AM Flag

Can't afford this. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 11:00 AM Flag

it's not expensive relative to what you'd get for a 2 BR. Have you done the math? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 11:14 AM Flag

I live in California, not NYC. I can probably get an older 2BR without W/D for $1300/month. Diaper service is $80/month - just diapers. For $1350 I can get a nice, new 1BR with W/C. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 11:33 AM Flag

I'd still do the 2BR I think and I'd have a fair amount of clothes for DB so only have to wash 1x/wk max. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 12:27 PM Flag

Depends how long you plan to stay. In the short-term, washer and dryer; baby will probably sleep in your room anyway. But eventually that second bedroom will be crucial to your sanity. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 11:00 AM Flag

I think we would stay 1-3 years. Then DB would be in preschool part time and I would work more. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 11:01 AM Flag

I wouldn't want to do it for more than a year, but it would depend on the apartment layout. For instance, maybe you can transform the dining room into a makeshift nursery? If you don't have a W/D, just make sure you buy a lot of extra onesies, sheets and blankets so you don't need to do so much laundry. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 01:24 PM Flag

Definitely 2 BR. Even if you plan to move to the burbs in a couple of years -- you never know and it's a pain to be in a 1 BR with kids. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 11:15 AM Flag

2BR definitely. If anyone visits you after the baby is born, where will they sleep? It will drive you crazy if they sleep on your couch with a baby in your room. And of course you want the baby out of your room eventually, right? Laundry is once a week (maybe twice)- but sleeping arrangements are every night! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 11:26 AM Flag

we managed with going to the laundromat for the first 3 years. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 11:42 AM Flag

While I live in NYC, I live in a one bedroom with a toddler. I would kill for a two bedroom, laundry or no laundry. This is a no brainier. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 12:07 PM Flag

I would go for extra bedroom if there's even a chance you might be there more than 2 years. Look for a laundromat that does laundry by the pound/drop off and splurge on that for first 4 mos or so of db's life. Or see if you can find 1 bdrm plus den and w/d. We found a (seattle apt) that was listed as 1 bdrm, but had an office with a stacked w/d. So, a bit more $ than regular 1bdrm, but less than 2 bdrm. My sis had her db in an alcove off her kitchen (e.coast), but that was not great b/c they couldn't even get stuff out of fridge w/o waking him. And couldn't watch tv in adjacent living room, etc. If you find a 1 bdrm with an alcove off of liv/din room, another idea is YOU and DH take alcove (use curtains if you want privacy) and put db in bedrm with door. Add a bed in there and visiting grandmas can bunk w/db. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.27.12, 06:10 PM Flag

[ - ] MD moms- help! just started my third year of med school, and found out that I am pregnant!! THE TIMING IS OFF OFF OFF. this was NOT supposed to happen!!! I want to be excited (we wanted a baby for a while, but decided to wait a year - til MS4, because third year would be too tough for me). - but I am freaking out about how this will ruin my residency plans and screw up my entire career. can someone please help me get my head on straight? due in February. right in the middle of my neuro rotation. I cant take the year off because frankly we cant afford it, it would make life too complicated. I just need to PASS neurology, its an area i scratched off my potential residency list before starting med school...I just need to pass, no honors or high pass. Someone please tell me this is going to be ok. how do I organize myself? how do I manage? who do I talk to? I dont want to get screwed over. who do i discreetly ask about school policies? I am soo lost. and scared. I have one kid already, was back on my feet 2 weeks later. but 2 weeks is too much time to take off from a rotation! how am I going to do this. ack. so terrified. 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.26.12, 01:15 AM Flag

You'll be okay. You'll get it done eventually. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 02:47 AM Flag

Even if it's a a tear or so off schedule, you'll be a doctor someday. It's not the end of life. Think of it this way: there are some women who ache so badly for a child, undergoing fertility treatment after treatment and you get to escape all of that. Secondly, there are people who become doctors in their 40s and 50s so you have an incredible leg up on them. What's a year or two to lose? You won't fall so much behind that you can never go back. You can always find a way to go back. Talk to your advisor. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 02:52 AM Flag

Don't panic. SIL did this, her ds is five now, and she's successfully practicing. Recruit as much help as you can from friends and family to help ease the crush. GL! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 03:56 AM Flag

Hey you have options. Seriously. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 03:57 AM Flag

thanks lol, its in the back of my head, but I think I'd regret it forever. to me, abortion = you do a 12 wk scan, find something suspicious, and say Im not dealing with this. not, i cant find the time to take off to have a baby, so therefore ill just erase whats going on. It goes thru my head, but I think Id feel really guilty. I just want to find confirmation that its possible to handle it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 05:50 AM Flag

I don't understand your distinction. I'm opposed to both, though. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 05:57 AM Flag

I would seriously consider taking a semester or year off. Review your finances, maybe you can get some help. Delaying graduation is not the end ofnthe world.mi [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 04:08 AM Flag

You will be a young mom by NYC standards. That's great! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 04:31 AM Flag

Don't panic. You can do it. The timing is not bad actually to have a baby "elective" during your fourth year. What about taking a year off between medical school and residency? Try to interview for residency early before you show, or consider taking a year off after med school and interview during 4th year instead (talk to some GOOD advisors before looking into this). Figure out what you want to do quickly. Figuring it out while pg will help you factor in family issues. I waited until all my training was done and then some to have babies, but I know people got through it. Mine wasn't really a choice, it just took me 20 years to find a guy! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 04:58 AM Flag

hey- so maybe you misread- im due during THIRD not fourth year. things didnt go according to plan. we tried for 2 yrs, I didnt get pg, went back on the pill and said well try again so that I can be pregnant DURING THIRD YEAR and give birth during 4th yr when I have lots of free time, gap months, thesis month, interview months, etc. but third yr, is back to back rotations, i dont know how I am going to miss and make this work! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 05:47 AM Flag

doctors take short maternity leaves. it's life. find other docs who have been through it. but honestly, don't slack. seriously. you'll regret it later. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 05:19 AM Flag

I know. to me taking a year off *IS* slacking. I dont WANT to take a year off. Ill be miserable all year. I dont want a gap year, or a research year, or anything. but I think I will PHYSICALLY need time off before I can be walking around a hospital again? assuming an uncomplicated pregnancy/delivery- hypothetically, is it possible to be back in a week? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 05:48 AM Flag

For your first, no. Sorry. Relax. You are not the first and you won't be the last. Congratulations. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 08:06 AM Flag

its my second. with my first, I was back at work 2 weeks later. but work was benchwork in a lab, so i wasnt on my feet all day.... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 08:18 AM Flag

np: if you have a really easy delivery anything is possible. but think of it this way - god forbid you got seriously ill or were in an accident, what would you do? curve balls get thrown at you totally out of your control, so you just have to figure it out. a baby is a positive thing but you need to work your life around it sometimes. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 08:24 AM Flag

attending mom here: just tell your dean, it's really NOT a big deal. Why can't you just push a rotation into your 4th year when you'll have more free time? Take 6 weeks off during your 3rd year when the baby comes. Don't try to be crazy and do a 1 week maternity leave or something. What if you have a c section? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 06:35 AM Flag

CAN I do that? (I know you have no clue where I go to school and I have no idea where you work)- but in general- are they understanding of such things? I was under the impression that successful completion of third year = passing all rotations. and I wouldnt be able to do Sub-I's and electives unless I finish. when DO I discuss this with my dean? now? or in 3 months from now? I feel like the sooner the better, but OTOH, I havent even told my parents. Thank you for saying its really not a big deal. I think i need to hear that over and over, from other moms-- I just need some reassurance :(.... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 07:00 AM Flag

attending mom: don't sweat it. Life happens. You're not the first 3rd year student nor are you the last who will be pregnant. You need to finish the required courses before graduation, pretty much as far as any med school is concerned. Tell them as early as know for sure that it's a viable pregnancy, and work with your dean's office on moving your electives around so you can finish on time. Plenty of girls had babies when I was in med school. I waited till residency, but there is no perfect time. Good luck! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.26.12, 01:59 PM Flag

bump?? anyone else? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.28.12, 12:59 AM Flag

[ - ] Has anyone successfully had their pre pg jeans turned into maternity jeans by having their tailor put elastic inserts in? If so, can you give me a tailor recommendation, preferably UWS or UES? Would like to get a little life out of trendy Current/Elliott jeans i bought before i knew I was pregnant! TIA!!! 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.24.12, 10:13 AM Flag

leave pants unbuttoned and put a belly band over it. think thats what is was called. sell it at maternity stores and looks like a white tshirt handing out from under your real shirt [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.24.12, 10:24 AM Flag

[ - ] Today an ultrasound tech told me I have a subchorionic hematoma. Anyone BTDT in the late first trimester? I'm 13 weeks today and had a big bleed over the weekend. Spotting now. Tech said it was 'large' and Dr Google is terrifying me. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.21.12, 05:07 PM Flag

the tech should not be telling you anything. Your doctor is the only one who should be discussing your health and your baby with you. Call now and demand a call back tonight. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.21.12, 05:09 PM Flag

Yes, I had one at 12 weeks - bright red bleeding, almost like a period that lasted for several hours. It bled out and I didn't have any further problems. Did they give you a prognosis? I think more often than not, they resolve themselves. GL. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.21.12, 05:12 PM Flag

[ - ] 31 weeks pg, nauseous, no appetite. Tums not helping. Any advice? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.19.12, 11:17 PM Flag

Sip bubbly water, eat popsicles [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.19.12, 11:42 PM Flag

Are you still taking prenatal vitamins? My prenatals made me feel nauseous, so I stopped taking them after the first trimester and just made sure I had a very healthy diet. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.20.12, 03:37 AM Flag

Granted, nausea typically goes away after the first tri, anyway. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.20.12, 05:03 AM Flag

jello [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.20.12, 04:34 AM Flag

Even when I was really nauseated, I still almost enjoyed pasta with salt and a little butter. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.20.12, 04:37 AM Flag

Saltines, ginger snaps, ginger ale, sparkling water with lemon [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.20.12, 05:44 AM Flag

OP: Sometimes the vitamins do make me feel sick but usually it goes away when I eat something. This is pretty much 24/7, though--I kept waking up feeling like I was going to be sick last night (and it had been almost 24 hours since I'd taken vitamins). I had morning sickness in the 1st trimester w/both pregnancies (this is my 2nd) but this third trimester business is killing me. Thanks for the suggestions- guess I just have to ride it out. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.20.12, 09:21 AM Flag

[ - ] What are the best strollers, car seats on the market right now? Want something light and easy to use. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.15.12, 03:45 PM Flag

dude. go to Babble. there's too many options. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.15.12, 04:11 PM Flag

for a newborn or toddler? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.15.12, 04:43 PM Flag

newborn [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.16.12, 05:19 PM Flag

Google is your friend [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.15.12, 06:27 PM Flag

there is so much out there, just curious if anyone has one they really like and can recommend? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.16.12, 05:20 PM Flag

[ - ] Stroller recommendations?? I'm a new mom-to-be, looking for advice. I loved the Stokke xplory and Bugaboo cameleon on a recent shopping trip to buy buy baby. Any thoughts on these or others I should consider? Thanks in advance! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.14.12, 02:25 PM Flag

Uppa Baby or a Baby jogger. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.14.12, 02:27 PM Flag

City Select or Uppa Baby [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.14.12, 02:29 PM Flag

read Babble.com's stroller reviews. we have no idea what your needs are. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.14.12, 02:32 PM Flag

Very happy with cybex callisto. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.14.12, 03:54 PM Flag

Vista if you want a big stroller. Skip it altogether & do ergo carrier (after newborn stage) & maclaren if you use public transport. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.14.12, 03:55 PM Flag

if you live in the city the bugaboo is a life saver as you can snap on a car seat so when you need to jump in a cab...you just snap it off and put the seat belt thru the car seat loops -- fold us the base and toss it in the trunk and off you go with your child secured. BTW...I went to a stroller seminar and after my head was spinning...I went up to the guy doing it and I said "just tell me the best one...the one you would buy knowing all this crap and he said the bugaboo... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.14.12, 08:33 PM Flag

Bugaboo Bee has been our favorite overall. Has everything and is pretty light/small. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.14.12, 08:49 PM Flag

[ - ] Did you have an amnio? I'm 9w pregnant, 30 years old, and the doc doesn't recommend a amnio if everything looks ok in the NT scan in a couple of weeks. However, I really would like to rule out disorders if the procedure is safe, but of course, wouldn't want to risk anything. Wwyd? or wdyd? 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.13.12, 02:49 PM Flag

Didn't at 32 (wasn't even offered a nuchal for that pregnancy, let alone amnio), 36 or 41. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 02:53 PM Flag

I posted this below under the CVS question. I had an amnio for my first. I was 37. Pregnant now with my 2nd at 40. I was very stressed about the amnio. I took a new test this time called maternit21. It's a blood test, so non-invasive. It has a 99% accuracy. Got my test results today and the results were negative! My insurance covered some. I paid $230. You can take it as early as 10 weeks. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 02:54 PM Flag

op: thanks - didn't know about maternit21 - congrats on your results - i'll look into whether i can get this too [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 03:07 PM Flag

this test does not test for everything that amnio can. ask your doctor. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 03:17 PM Flag

There is a paper coming out in the NewEngland Journal of Medicine in a few months. From what I heard at a national genetics meeting earlier this year the data suggests that ALL women, regardless of age, should be offered an amnio or CVS in order to have microarray testing done. Microarry testing will pick up many, many abnormalities that standard chromosome analysis would not. I have not been able to read the paper yet as it is not published yet so do not know if any comparision were made to include women who had "good" results from the 1st trimester quad screen ad what the recommendations are for those that are screen negative. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 02:56 PM Flag

It will be interesting to see how the right to lifers respond. "Hey, here's this test we recommend you get, but if your doctor thinks you might abort your fetus because of the results he can lie to you about them!" [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 02:59 PM Flag

huh? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 03:02 PM Flag

Guess you're not up on developments in reproductive rights. KS and AZ are at least considering and I think did pass laws that doctors can withhold information from their pregnant patients if they think it might lead to an abortion. http://www.aclu.org/blog/reproductive-freedom/kansas-pregnant-women-little-lie-your-doctor-wont-hurt-you [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 03:07 PM Flag

Personally, I would. But, then again I found out through completely random testing that I carry a genetic issue that would NOT have been tested routinely on amnio or cvs without knowing ahead of time I was a carrier. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 02:59 PM Flag

What would you use the information for? just to prepare yourself? to line up medical specialty care? to terminate? -- think about that stuff and then you might have a better idea of what you'd be comfortable with. also, the textbook explanations of risk of miscarriage for amnio or cvs are overstated - those figures are decades old and do not reflect the experience of MDs who do lots of amnios each year. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 03:01 PM Flag

op: reasons are a mix of all of the above - I guess more than anything, it is just that it would be nice to know that we've ruled all this stuff out for the major part of pregnancy. what I'm wondering now is whether i should insist on getting one (don't even know if I can), or if the NT is normal, go with the doc's recommendation [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 03:05 PM Flag

That's personal. For me, I prefer diagnostic to screening. NT is a screening test, so it gives you odds. I know nothing is 100% and you can't test for everything, but for me, I would prefer to know diagnostically as much as we can. Skipping NT and going straight to CVS for me (I also know I carry a genetic issue). [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 03:07 PM Flag

If you would terminate for the major things amnio tests for, or would specifically request testing for SMA, CF, FX, etc, etc, then maybe go from there? If you wouldn't, it's really a matter of whether it's worth it to you to go thru a test to get the info sooner than after birht. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 03:08 PM Flag

Do it. The risk is very very small and peace of mind invaluable. IMHO. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 03:09 PM Flag

thanks everyone. your comments have been very helpful. Are there MDs that you can recommend that are experts at doing this? Can you actually pick who you go to for an amnio? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 03:11 PM Flag

I would guess this depends on your insurance provider, where you are, and what your doc does. In my case, my genetic counselor recommended a doc in NYC who does only cvs and amnio really. My obgyn said, "Ok, that's fine. We also have docs who are experts, but either is a good choice." [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 03:18 PM Flag

And if you are in NYC: Ronald Wapner (Columbia), Marc Evans, Joanne Stone (Sinai), Eddelman (Sinai), Saltzman (affiliated with Sinai) are the names I hear mentioned most frequently. Usually will be part of a MFM practice. Wapner was recommended to me, and the genetic counselor and his whole office have been great so far. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 03:20 PM Flag

yes, in nyc. i go to the drosinos / marin / jasper / randolph practice, they are affiliated with columbia. thanks for your recs. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 03:24 PM Flag

fwiw. i had my cvs today with Wapner and his whole office - receptionists, genetic counselors, nurses, ultrasound tech -- all wonderful, very easy to work with, reassuring, explained everything carefully, and he was wonderful. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.14.12, 01:18 PM Flag

Dr. Lynn Simpson is great -- she is division chief of maternal fetal medicine at Columbia. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.17.12, 06:00 PM Flag

Would recommend Dr. Lynn Simpson at Columbia at the Center for Prenatal Pediatrics. Terrific team there. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.17.12, 05:59 PM Flag

In case you're checking in - the age 35 is completely arbitrary and meaningless. It's when the odds of a miscarriage from the amnio (according to standardized data, not necessarily NY doctors who do the procedure a ton) are equal to the odds of a baby with Down's. But it's very unlikely your personal value system places exactly equal weight on them. If for example, it was really hard for you to get pregnant, you may be unwilling to risk a miscarriage. OTOH, you may know that you would terminate if you had a baby with Down's. Those would lead to totally different choices. So think about which outcome would be worse for you personally and make your decision that way. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 03:56 PM Flag

^^ It's basically which are you more willing to accept as a possibility - a miscarriage or a Down's baby. And that's really a choice for you and your dh. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 03:58 PM Flag

Amnio has a .5% miscarriage risk. Downs has for a normal person, a risk of .25%. Do that Math [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 04:15 PM Flag

Didn't at 36 or 39. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 04:23 PM Flag

I had a cvs b/c I didn't want to wait for the amnio. But I was 42. At 30 I would probably skip unless I was a risk for something due to family history, etc. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 04:28 PM Flag

Didn't and wasn't offered at 29 and 32. Am now 35 and plan to insist upon it, even though I've been told about the MaterniT21 test. It's great, but there are more than three things that can go horribly wrong. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 04:29 PM Flag

if you are worried about things other than Downs make sure to insist onthe microarray test. Just google Anglemans, DiGeorge, SMithMagenis, Prader Willi, Miller Dieker and the lists goes on and on. These are all pickedup by microarray but not by standard chromosome analysis. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 05:09 PM Flag

I agree, wouldn't even consider this blood test for those reasons. Doesn't test for X & Y chromosome issues, etc. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.14.12, 06:24 AM Flag

Didn't even do an NT at 30 after paying $350 for it at 29 w. #1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.13.12, 07:49 PM Flag

[ - ] I'm pregnant and I have had a dull headache for 3 days. Trying not to take meds. I have to stare at a computer all day for work. Any ideas? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.11.12, 03:24 PM Flag

Check with MD but mine said tylenol was ok. But MD should know if you are having a headache for 3+days. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.12, 03:46 PM Flag

at week 8 my obgyn told me to try eating my meals spread out all day rather than 3, break it into 6, or take plain tylenol if it's bad. both seemed to work (no aleve, no advil, no aspirin, JUST tylenol) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.12, 03:48 PM Flag

How pregnant are you? Headaches could signal preeclampsia. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.12, 03:58 PM Flag

OP: 14 weeks [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.12, 04:46 PM Flag

I think too early in your pregnancy for preeclampsia. Not sure. But definitely raise it with your OB. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.12, 04:49 PM Flag

Talk to OB. Are you drinking enough water? I would be cautious about taking Tylenol as well. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.12, 04:26 PM Flag

Talk to your doctor but in the meantime drink a lot of water. Are you newly pregnant and did you cut out cafeeine? Could be that. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.12, 04:45 PM Flag

Tylonol is absolutely fine after 12 weeks, don't suffer. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.12, 04:54 PM Flag

Check the Refresh rate of the screen under settings. Under 75 gives me a headache all the time. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.11.12, 05:20 PM Flag

[ - ] Just found out we are having a boy. Any thoughts on Issac, Oscar, Felix, Angus, Henry or Max? Two syllable ethnic last name. TIA! 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.07.12, 10:56 AM Flag

Oscar and Felix are great [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 10:57 AM Flag

I'm liking the Odd Couple vibe you've got going! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 10:57 AM Flag

Isaac, Maxis my dog's name [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 10:58 AM Flag

Angus ftw [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 10:59 AM Flag

i love the name Issac, though I like the spelling Isaac better. Angus is very AC/DC, Oscar and Max and Henry are very popular these days, and I have never been a fan of the name Felix. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:01 AM Flag

Second the traditional spelling of Isaac. Issac looks like "ISS-eck." [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:06 AM Flag

Though I love Isaac pronounced in Spanish the most: ee-SAHK. Sounds so sexy. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:07 AM Flag

Agree - Spanish is sexy! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:12 AM Flag

I also like Daniel: dahn-YELL. Oooohhh. And Alejandro. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:16 AM Flag

Felix or Oscar. Isn't Angus a steak? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:02 AM Flag

NP. Yes, Angus is a steak - but also a Scottish name. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:05 AM Flag

Which ethnicity? I prefer Felix to Oscar. Angus is good. Henry, very common. What about Enrico? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:07 AM Flag

Kid will be 1/2 Irish, but his last name will be Greek. Thanks for all the feedback ladies! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:12 AM Flag

^^This was OP! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:14 AM Flag

Cormac, nn Mac or Corey. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:17 AM Flag

Any other names? These are very generic. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:18 AM Flag

Angus is generic? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:33 AM Flag

If a name's popularity is important to you check the social security popularity lists, you can get it laid out as a graph or in lists on behindthename.com or you can try that name voyager map application which tells you how popular a name is, by region. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:24 AM Flag

Malcolm! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:26 AM Flag

Henry and Max are too common these days. Oscar=The Grouch. Like all the rest. Isaac is growing a bit in popularity. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:27 AM Flag

Just imagine the horrible nicknames "Anus Angus" shudder [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:31 AM Flag

Isaac! No contest. Love it! But since you asked about the others, Henry and Max are ridiculously overdone (Max is overdone for both boys and dogs), Felix and Oscar are very trendy, and Angus is beef. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:35 AM Flag

Oscar and Felix? What about Sheldn? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:37 AM Flag

I suggest Johannes ("Hannes") after the legendary Horace Mann teacher and musical maestro. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:43 AM Flag

Terrible idea. Better to name him JOHAN after Johan Santana, the first NY Met in history to throw a no-hitter. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 11:51 AM Flag

Henry and Max are really overused, you're going to hear. I have a friend whose kid's name is Isaac, and it's cute on him; contrast of cute little boy and old-fashioned name. Don't listen to what people say about nicknames--kids find nicknames for just about every name. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.07.12, 12:02 PM Flag

[ - ] What would you tell a new mom to register for? What are your must-have baby items? Which items are not really necessary? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.05.12, 03:52 PM Flag

If you do a search, this has been discussed alot before. It's funny what people strongly agree and disagree on. I'll tell you that people kept telling me a changing table or dresser was not necessary, but I found it completely necessary. They told me you could change the baby on the floor, or a bed, or where ever. We got a dresser and put a changing pad on top of it. Who wants to bend over every time you change a baby? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 04:11 PM Flag

get the book 'baby bargains'. it gives good advice on what you need, and when you pay for functionality vs. styling. rates all the items from clothes to highchairs and carseats. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 04:13 PM Flag

itzbeen timer. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 04:13 PM Flag

Baby Bargains was just ok for me. I didn't agree with many of their recs (For example, Chicco Keyfit is so much better than Snugride). If you go to Amazon.com, lots of people have lists of baby items they really used or liked. I think that can give you a good idea. I also went to babystore websites and looked up random people's registries to get an idea of what other people were buying. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 04:53 PM Flag

Fisher price rock n play chair [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 06:19 PM Flag

marpac sleepmate white noise machine, miracle blanket swaddling blankets--really really good for baby sleep [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 06:36 PM Flag

[ - ] Baby name opinions, pls: I've always planned to name a son after my deceased father, whom I am incredibly close to. My sister named her son that name (it's a classic name, e.g. Alexander), but told me I could always use it too if I had a son, knowing especially the bond I had with my dad. We are close, so now it seems weird for our kids to have the exact same name, so I was thinking of naming him "Alexander" James (after DH and DH's dad) but calling him AJ. Do you think that's tacky? (And the actual name doesn't have the nickname possibilities of Alexander, so I can't just choose an alternate nickname) 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.05.12, 10:45 AM Flag

Of course it's not tacky. We call my daughter Dee Dee because that nickname just happened and it stuck. Is that tacky? I don't know and I don't care. Why don't you name him something different for his first name and Alexander as his middle name? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 10:48 AM Flag

I guess tacky isn't the word, but I'm just wondering about the forced nickname thing. DH really wants the middle name to be after him and his dad. I was just curious about the insta-UB reaction - they find tackiness all over the place! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 10:51 AM Flag

I don't think it's tacky at all. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 10:52 AM Flag

^^^Love DeeDee-a fun name!! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 11:29 AM Flag

She's a fun little girl. Her older brother gave her that name. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 11:34 AM Flag

Cousins can have the same name. Their last names will differ so why not? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 10:56 AM Flag

I'm from a Greek family, tradition says firstborn sons should be named after their grandfather -- my dad shared a name with about 10 of his cousins. No biggie at all, however you decide to do it (middle name, nickname, etc.) Is the name one that offers a good nickname option that you can call your son? Or not so much? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 11:00 AM Flag

No, there's no good nickname option, which is why I'd do call him by his initials. It may sound unprofessional in his future career, but by that point he can always choose whether to go by his first name or keep going by his initials. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 11:02 AM Flag

No, I think that's cute. And being of greek descent, i can tell you that in that culture, since all kids are named after grandparents, cousins often have the same names. we actually considered something similar - were going to name a girl (if we had a girl) after a female relative and then use initals as nn. we ended up having a boy and used a different name w same initials and used same nn. So AJ for either say Amanda Jill or Alexander James. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 11:04 AM Flag

It's not tacky, no, but I wouldn't do it. I would want my DS to feel like his name was his own, not his and his cousin's name. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 11:09 AM Flag

unless you're giving your child some really unusual one of a kind first name, his name won't be his own, bc hundreds if not thousands of other people will have it too. i get not wanting to name your kid the same thing as a cousin due to family concerns or practical reasons, but this just seems silly. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 11:11 AM Flag

Thanks for the responses. I don't know why I put this out there (since I'm 99% decided on the name) but he [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 11:09 AM Flag

^ will have to live with his name forever! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 11:10 AM Flag

If he doesn't like it or it doesn't fit with his professional aspirations, he can change it. But he probably won't and love his name! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 11:36 AM Flag

There are worse things than this. If your sister really is ok with this, I say fine. So the cousins have the same first name. They will grow up knowing they were named for a much beloved grandfather. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 11:19 AM Flag

+1 my cousin and i (6 months apart; our mothers are sisters) share the same first name and it was always fun-- something that bonded us. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 11:21 AM Flag

[ - ] 13 weeks into first pregnancy and my back hurts every night. Anything I can do? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.05.12, 08:13 AM Flag

Might yoga help? My hospital offers it once per week for us prenatal women! (st luke's) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 08:19 AM Flag

acupunture [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 08:20 AM Flag

Agree with yoga. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 08:47 AM Flag

I had a pre-existing back problem with herniations in my lower back. AT 12-13 weeks, my back started to get bad (evidently from the increase in relaxin hormone) and I upped my attendance prenatal pilates and yoga classes. Bad move. The morning after one class I couldn't stand without a cane and back brace. My suggestions are get yourself a pregnancy back brace ASAP. Take it easy on the pilates and yoga, and instead go to see a physical therapist and chiropractor who specialize in prenatal care. I ended up having to be bed-rested for the best part of 10 days, and doing chiropratic 3x/week and PT 2x/week. by 18 weeks I was pretty must back to the way I was before--no cane, and no brace. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 08:59 AM Flag

pregnancy pillow [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.05.12, 09:06 AM Flag

[ - ] i am a newly expectant mom. i am trying to figure out the best places (besides urbanbaby)to get good information about where to take classes and how to meet other new moms. i also want to stay away from the website "what to expect when expecting" because it stresses me out. where else should i look? any suggestions? thank you in advance!! 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 06.03.12, 05:44 PM Flag

What part of the country? In many places, not so much Manhattan, there are very active online local moms groups. Otherwise, truly just hanging out at the park will be a great way to meet moms with similar schedules. Does Meetup have an option for this? I know it is great for other things. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.12, 05:47 PM Flag

New York City. Meetup is a good idea. thanks! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.12, 05:54 PM Flag

I am only a small sample - but FWIW I liked babycenter with my first baby for the updates on development each week, and comparing development notes online with people due around your time is great (if you are well off though, I would leave that out... def attracts LMC/WC crowd). However, I made a mistake in meeting up with someone from my birth club (month/year you're due) IRL to try to make friends. It was odd,was a little sad we didn't meet again - but then I read later that she flunked the postpartum psych exam done in NJ. Thought I dodged a bullet. Takeaway is it's like internet dating... never know what you'll get IRL. All that being said - start taking classes ASAP on how to care for baby at the hospital where you'll deliver; ask the pediatrician you'll choose; take prenatal yoga or whatever. Everyone is in your boat the first time around, so most people will be friendly because they want to make that new mom connection, too. GL! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.12, 05:48 PM Flag

Join a new moms group a couple months after the baby is born. Great way to get out of the house and meet other new moms. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.12, 05:49 PM Flag

+1, take db to the playground even if too young to do anything to meet people and get recs [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.12, 05:52 PM Flag

look on meetup.com for expectant and new mom groups. If you don't find anything close to you, look for a Lactation class, new baby massage class, etc in your neighborhood - you will meet many new moms at the same stage as you. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.12, 05:51 PM Flag

go to your local Gymboree or other infant playgroups, you'll meet neighborhood moms there. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.12, 06:10 PM Flag

In what neighborhood do you live? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.03.12, 06:45 PM Flag

Tribeca Parenting (formerly RealBirth before they merged with Tribeca Pediatrics) has amazing birthing classes and other classes and seminars related to birthing, newborn care and parenting. Couldn't recommend highly enough. They were also just ranked one of the best birthing classes in the city: http://newyork.cbslocal.com/top-lists/best-childbirth-classes-in-new-york/ [ Reply | More

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General Topics 06.04.12, 08:04 AM Flag