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[ - ] Does anyone have recommendations for a high risk OB in Manhattan? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 08.05.12, 11:01 PM Flag
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Any of the doctors at East Side Women's OBGYN (http://www.eswobgyn.com/). Especially Dr. Brightman, but I love them all! They got me through my second pregnancy after my first was born at 32 weeks due to pre-eclampsia. Second DC was born full term (no pre-eclampsia) and I really credit their diligent care for making it happen! GL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.05.12, 11:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Looking for great obgyn who delivers at Mt. Sinai who takes Blue Cross/Blue Shield. Any suggestions? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.28.12, 12:48 PM Flag
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call your provider [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.28.12, 02:43 PM Flag
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MFM? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.28.12, 02:57 PM Flag
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Did you go to MFM? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.28.12, 03:25 PM Flag
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They are beyond awesome but they do not take BCBS. They will work out a cash price with you and you submit it to the insurance co. Could get very expensive if you have lots of office visits because that's where the reimbursement via BCBS is a little sketchy, I was "lucky" enough to be an inpatient for ages and got reimbursed basically 100% of what they charged me. Adler/Lanzkowski may take BCBS and they are also very nice guys. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.28.12, 03:34 PM Flag
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Thanks! Very helpful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.28.12, 03:43 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.28.12, 04:51 PM Flag
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I am using Dr Adler, Kurtz, Kassenoff, McNally. So far I've only met Adler and Kurtz. Pretty good so far. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.31.12, 08:25 AM Flag
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Kurtz, kasenoff are horrible! I would stay away from that practice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.27.13, 11:37 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have a strong recommendation for a baby nurse, based on personal experience, that you can offer? Is it typical to meet/interview potential baby nurses in NYC? Thanks for your help. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.27.12, 06:25 AM Flag
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Mine no longer works in NYC, but yes I interviewed a bunch. I felt like the personality fit was the most important to me, bc we are living in a small apt and we'd be on top of each other all day. Also, I felt very vulnerable bc I didn't know what I was doing. So I wanted someone who would be nice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.27.12, 06:33 AM Flag
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Mine will be free! Tonight is my last night that I will have her all of my friends used her if you will like to place a e mail address? Will be more than happy to send you her info! Best of luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.29.12, 02:55 AM Flag
[ - ] advice/suggestions please- I will have two weeks off after having 2nd baby before having to go back to school. not looking for people judging me telling me I am a horrible mom, or advice like "take the semester off" (which is not possible- its either take a year off, or go back, and I cannot take the year off). just tell me- what can I do beforehand for my body, and around the house, to make things easier, and how can I make things easy postpartum. my parents live a couple of miles away, so my mom will be helping out. my husband gets 2 wks of leave, so he will be home too. we have a nanny, older son will be in school from 8-3 every day, and mostly with the nanny. Im hiring a night nurse. have crib, will have clothes, diapers, supplies, etc, beforehand. I can pump, but will also be using formula if necessary. please pile on the tips everyone!! id really appreciate any advice/support I can get. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.24.12, 08:55 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.12, 08:59 AM Flag
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lets see. medical school = 60k/yr. plus the cost of me NOT working/bringing in a salary. night nurse=4-5k for two months. nanny 500 per month (6k/yr), have had a nanny for the past 5 yrs. I might not be getting my PhD in math, so Ill let you add that all up. we are talking about 5k (for night nurse) vs the cost of me putting off working for another year of our lives. I asked for no judgement. my goodness. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.12, 09:04 AM Flag
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NP: yowza, op, that was a totally innocuous post. For most students, it wouldn't make sense NOT to take the year off; obviously it's different in your particular situation. OR was just curious. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.12, 10:50 AM Flag
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NP- did you (or the other poster) miss the part where she said "not looking for people judging .... or advice like take the semester off which is not possible...i cannot take the year off" ? she was asking for practical suggestions, based on a decision she already made. "if you have the $ to hire staff" sounds pretty snide to me. IDK though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.12, 10:53 AM Flag
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OP- thanks. yea. my thoughts exactly :). I specifically asked for ppl to not post their opinions. start another thread criticizing me (as was done in the past when I initially posed the question- can going back to school a few wks postpartum be done). dont pollute my thread with your opinions, I dont care! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.12, 12:22 PM Flag
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PP: fair enough! It's so hard to read tone on the internet. Good luck to you, OP. DH is just finishing residency, so I can definitely understand where you're coming from. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.12, 12:53 PM Flag
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Make sure nanny is OK doing a bit more work than normal during the day( if she is in fact doing so), so I would discuss expectations (and higher pay) with her. cook a bunch of meals in advance, try not to have a c-section, and put a bunch of things on amazon for fast delivery so you dont waste any time shopping for housekeeping items. I think that's it! GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.12, 09:02 AM Flag
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^^oh and try and see if you can get a weekend nanny. i found that after I went back to work but DB was still waking thru the night at 3-4 months old, I was BEAT on saturdays/sundays. All I needed was a 4-hr nap in the morning, and it was great when I could get some help at home then. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.12, 09:08 AM Flag
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np: if OP's parents are around to help (which she said they were), this is something they could do. take the baby for a few hours so OP can sleep while DH entertains older dc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.12, 10:28 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.12, 09:02 AM Flag
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Buy a freezer and make a year's worth of dinners in advance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.12, 09:10 AM Flag
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hire a housekeeper that can cook well [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.12, 12:54 PM Flag
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a postpartum doula could help too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.12, 10:20 AM Flag
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hi- OP here- how is this different than a nurse? and what would she do? thanks alot! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.12, 10:34 AM Flag
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It sounds like you have a good set up. The biggest thing I can think of (outside of what you've mentioned) is maybe hiring a professional to help thoroughly organize the house? Depends on your means and needs but my sister did this before having her twins (db #3, and #4) and it was a HUGE help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.12, 10:40 AM Flag
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does your nanny work weekends? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.12, 03:22 PM Flag
[ - ] So we have our 2.5 year old son in a bedroom that has extra space. We have a small 3rd bedroom / study and are expecting another boy this fall. Would people move the boys in together (after a few months), or use the 3rd room for the new kid? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.22.12, 07:15 PM Flag
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boys together once the baby is sleeping through the night. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 07:17 PM Flag
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OP - thanks for the swift reply. That's my gut also, but what are your key reasons - am curious . . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 07:18 PM Flag
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I think sharing a room is nice for kids. And then you or dh have a place to go to close the door in addition to the bedroom and living room. Better for the parents and better for the kids, imo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 07:21 PM Flag
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Thanks. Tend to agree. And we will still have a place for guests (grandparents) to stay, which is nice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 07:25 PM Flag
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probably keep them together - unless you can put study/desk area in another area of your apartment [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 07:20 PM Flag
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We have 2 DDs in a room and they love it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 07:34 PM Flag
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we had a 3 bedroom and put the boys in separate rooms. i just couldnt get over the wakeups. in the summers, tehy sleep together, but i like them being separate during the school year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.12, 06:10 AM Flag
[ - ] Any suggestions for maternity 'active wear' that is actually meant for working out? Looking for shorts in particular. Thanks! 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.12.12, 11:11 AM Flag
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Beauty of active wear is that it's all stretchy. I just wore regular workout wear throughout. The pants all stretch and for tops, go to Destination Maternity and buy tanks. You don't need maternity activewear. Waste of money to even look. Especially since you're only really big for maybe 3 months tops. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.12, 11:44 AM Flag
[ - ] Are those baby teethers made from cornstarch healthy? They seem better to me than plastic, but my mom is worried about DB eating cornstarch. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.09.12, 10:49 AM Flag
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he's probably going to be hitting some blow someday so not a big whoop. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.12, 10:50 AM Flag
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greeeeat [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.12, 11:06 AM Flag
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hahaha good one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.12, 11:23 AM Flag
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get a silicone one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.12, 10:53 AM Flag
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why is that better? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.12, 11:06 AM Flag
[ - ] New to NYC, holistically minded natural foods chef. Searching for an Ob or Midwife affiliated with NYU who will support my desires for a natural pregnancy and birth. NYU is best for a variety of logistical reasons. Dr. must take insurance. Early in my pregnancy so I'd like to find a doc asap. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.08.12, 10:38 AM Flag
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Good luck! Watch out, I went with a practice that supposedly supported natural birth--and my OB genuinely does--but it turned out that not all of the doctors genuinely were supportive. The dr on call when I went into labor wanted nothing to do with the birthing center I was supposed to use. She thought it was a major pain to have patients there. My best advice is to use a practice where ALL the doctors are good. Because you could end up with any of them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.12, 10:43 AM Flag
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nyu is not the best if you want a low-to-no intrrvention birth. St. Lukes Roosevelt is the best option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.12, 10:45 AM Flag
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NP: You can look up the c-section rates and other useful facts by hospital on this website. Click on "view intervention rates" on the lower left. It looks like c-section rates are actually about the same at NYU and SLR (though if you use the birthing center at SLR--and many people get risked out, so don't have the option--I'm sure the c-section rate would be lower). http://thebirthsurvey.org/AboutProject.html [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.12, 10:52 AM Flag
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or: I was thinking about the birthing center at SLR. My experience with birthing centers is that you only get transferred if there is a medical issue, and if there is a medical issue, do what the doctors say. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.12, 10:59 AM Flag
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No, it's not like that there. There are a number of things that can automatically get you disqualified (your age, your weight gain, if you are a couple days late, if your dr has other patients on the regular floor and doesn't want to go back and forth, if there aren't enough patients to open the center, or if the center is filled). There is a class that you can take (an hour or so) to find out about their regulations. It's not like an independent birthing center. That said, if you make it through all of their requirements it can be a great place! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.12, 11:51 AM Flag
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^^I gave birth there, but the vast majority of my friends who tried to use the birthing center didn't actually get to make it inside. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.12, 11:52 AM Flag
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I have also heard that this is the case - while you may want to and intend on delivering in the birthing center, a majority end up on the OB floor for various reasons. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.12, 12:44 PM Flag
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If you look at "interventions" besides c-sections, they're actually really low. The fact that they have a lot of high-risk mothers skews their c-section rate. I found the nurses there (and that's what's important, really) to be very supportive of natural childbirth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.12, 11:44 AM Flag
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at nyu? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.12, 11:53 AM Flag
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NP: Really? An epidural is a medical intervention. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.12, 11:56 AM Flag
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have a homebirth, its much better, I've had both [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.12, 01:36 PM Flag
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it's much better if you have no complications and don't mind risking a dead/vegetable baby/mom. yay natural death! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.12, 05:04 PM Flag
[ - ] 4 months pregnant with 1st DB. I work full time and intend to quit when DB is born. Should I tell my boss now or wait until my state disability runs out during leave? Live in CA. I will leave them in a BIG lurch if I don't tell them soon. I don't make much $$. We could really use every extra penny before I quit. Also, I work for a church, not a big corporation or something. WWYD? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.05.12, 03:48 PM Flag
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^^ BTW, quitting mostly because we are moving for DH's new job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 03:49 PM Flag
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Is your maternity leave paid? Do you get the state disability if you are not employed? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 04:08 PM Flag
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Maternity leave is not paid. I will use up whatever sick and vacation time I have. I do not get disability if I am not employed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 04:16 PM Flag
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Didn't you post about this earlier this week? Just look at what people told you then! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 04:12 PM Flag
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Yes, I did post earlier, but with a different question. That was about moving and other stuff. We have decided to move before the baby arrives. The question now is whether or not to milk my maternity leave for all it's worth or be honest and do what is better for the church. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 04:18 PM Flag
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You would actually consider milking a church for maternity leave when you intend on quitting? That's disgusting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 04:23 PM Flag
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+ infinity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 04:26 PM Flag
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Isn't disability for workers? If you don't intend to return to work after the birth, I don't believe you are legally or morally allowed to get disability. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 04:17 PM Flag
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THIS! I hate when people play games with mat leave/disability when they know they are quitting!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 04:20 PM Flag
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Keep your options open. If something happens with DH's job, you might feel differently about continuing to work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 04:19 PM Flag
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you sound really high maintenance/whiny. if you plan on quitting, and it will leave them in a lurch, tell them now! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 04:22 PM Flag
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If you intend to quit when baby is born, you just quit, no different than if you said, I am going back to college so I'm quitting. Maternity benefits are for people who are returning to their job. Be honest. Tell them you're pg, that you are planning on taking maternity leave and returning to job. You have no idea what's going to happen to your dh's job, right? So I say proceed as though you will continue working until you are 100% sure you are moving and quitting, and then update them with your plans, but don't lie up until the moment you're holding a 10wk old baby and you call in and say, "Oh by the way I moved hours away, I never intended to come back, but thanks for the mat leave pay." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 04:33 PM Flag
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Do what is right. YOu know in your heart what it is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 04:55 PM Flag
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OP: Thank you for your compassionate response. I am just really afraid I will lose my health insurance before DB is born. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 05:07 PM Flag
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NP: Doesn't your DH have insurance? If not, then don't quit. You should not have a baby without without health insurance, and if your DH doesn't have a job that covers the whole family, you can't quit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 05:18 PM Flag
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He is changing jobs and insurance will not start for 3 months. I will be 8 months preg at that time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 05:23 PM Flag
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I think they can pay for cobra - believe it does not matter why you left a company, should still be eligible for cobra [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 05:28 PM Flag
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I was in a similar position. I just quit at 5 months along. They paid out my unused vacation. It was best for everyone. I loved having time off before the baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 05:29 PM Flag
[ - ] high end maternity anyone, that is shippable? during my last pregnancy, both saks and neimanmarcus.com had "maternity" sections. i guess they werent popular enough to keep. where can I conveniently ship stuff to me that isnt crap? I dont need lots of stuff, saved e/t from my last pregnancy, but I do want to update a few items. willing to spend $ on expensive, presentable-looking professional/casual attire, just tell me where! thx! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.05.12, 09:53 AM Flag
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Isabella Oliver [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 09:58 AM Flag
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Veronique Maternity has a small site (store in 90s/madison is better), Rosie Pope, Isabelle Oliver. Veronique store will probably just mail you stuff if they don't have in stock on website. Their pants rock! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 10:42 AM Flag
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I think only jeans are being sold in the department stores now - if you can get by with empire waisted things, you can buy regular [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 11:15 AM Flag
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maybe nordstrom or pea in the pod? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.12, 11:20 AM Flag
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thanks everyone! keep the suggestions coming! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.12, 01:47 AM Flag
[ - ] Help. I am 17 weeks pregnant, first DB. I work 1/2 hour away from home where we pay no rent (family arrangement). DH just got new job 1/2hr away from home in other direction. We will need to move to the new town because he will be on call. We want to save $$ in the meantime with me still working and not paying rent. I plan to be SAHM. Now I work for a church, I am planning programs that I will not be here to run in winter. When should I quit and when should we move? Before or after DB? I am intensely frustrated at work because I don't see how I can design a program and then leave. I feel dishonest not telling them so they can get someone new during summer before programs start. Also, I am worried about moving with a newborn. TIA 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.03.12, 02:18 PM Flag
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If you can afford it, just give your notice now. Moving and planning for the new db and supporting your dh in getting ready for his new job is more than enough to keep you busy for the next few months. And now is probably not realistically the time to build savings. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.12, 02:26 PM Flag
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OP: Actually, because of the rent-free situation we are able to bank my entire paycheck each month. Going to one income, plus rent is going to be a big big big financial shift for us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.12, 02:30 PM Flag
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np: I don't know what you're looking for. You need to move, but don't want to quit your job because you like the money, but don't want to leave job hanging. There's no perfect solution. Someone is going to get the short end of the stick. Decide if that person is going to be you or the church. Or you can keep working and just take the longer commute. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.12, 02:34 PM Flag
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OP: I guess a big part of my question is will it be easier to move in the 3rd trimester or with a weeks-old infant? I think it will be easier pregnant, but DH thinks it will be easier with a baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.12, 02:40 PM Flag
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Neither will be "easy" and people have done both. If you have a choice it would be much better for you as a family to be settled in to new place before DB is born. Life as you know it, free rent and all, is coming to an end. Accept that and welcome the new adventures. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.12, 02:56 PM Flag
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Easier pregnant, for sure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.12, 03:44 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm starting to interview doulas today. What questions MUST I ask? Thanks in advance!!! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.03.12, 10:52 AM Flag
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Ask why they are useful. I've always wondered this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.12, 12:01 PM Flag
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origin of the word Doula [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.12, 12:43 PM Flag
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Here is a start: http://www.dona.org/mothers/how_to_hire_a_doula.php [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.12, 04:31 PM Flag
[ - ] Would LOVE your feedback on these doulas: Sarah Kaylor, Elizabeth (Beth) Stein, Dahlyt Berenzibar, Megan Davidson, Meredith Finnerty, Jordan Christopher, & Elsa Asher. Thanks a mill! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 06.29.12, 11:11 AM Flag
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didn't love Elsa. she was kind of pointless, if you ask me. nice girl but vapid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:48 AM Flag
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^^also, she was a scheduling nightmare. always running late, email response very slow, multiple rescheduled appts, having to track her down, etc... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:51 AM Flag
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Thank you for letting me know! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:54 AM Flag
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no problem. wish I had thought to ask! good luck and congrats!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:59 AM Flag
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Awww, thanks! Same to you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 12:00 PM Flag
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I HATE irresponsible people, especially in finite situations (like pregnancy) that revolve around people doing what they're supposed to do when they're supposed to do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 12:18 PM Flag
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Megan Davidson was my doula and she was fantastic. Highly recommended. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.29.13, 03:56 AM Flag
[ - ] Has any one here delivered with Dr. Alex Tepper, using Deborah Badran as their doula? If so, please share! 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 06.29.12, 10:32 AM Flag
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I used deborah but with a different OB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 10:33 AM Flag
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I might have used that doula. I know her first name is Deborah. Describe her? Is she 50's reddish brown hair, beautiful blue eyes? If so she was my doula. I had a different doctor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 10:34 AM Flag
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Thanks for the response. Yes - that's her! Did you like her? Is it true that she asks for the entire fee upfront in cash? If so, that scares me a bit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 10:40 AM Flag
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first responder:i don't remember how we paid her but i think up front isn't unusual for a doula. you are in part paying for availability. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 10:41 AM Flag
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Thank you for your input. I have heard great things, but am a bit thrown off by the few overwhelmingly negative reviews she's gotten here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 10:57 AM Flag
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I really liked her. she does seem a little hippy-dippy but in labor, she was all business and really helped me; staff at my hospital knew her and they all worked well together. she also visited pp. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:24 AM Flag
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Thanks again for your help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:58 AM Flag
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I honestly don't remember that. I did use her and liked her. I had to have an emergency section at the end of it all but not her fault. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:17 AM Flag
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p.s. she helped me throughout pregnancy and you call them in the middle of the night - it's a lot of hours they put in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:19 AM Flag
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Thanks again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:57 AM Flag
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How much a doula charges ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 10:56 AM Flag
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For Deborah Badran, $2500. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 10:58 AM Flag
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The ones I interviewed living in NJ and helping me deliver at Cornell were between $1300 and $1900. Usually a deposit of up to half due upon booking. The rest is payable before delivery, or not paid if a scheduled C-section needs to be done and the doula won't be needed (deposit forfeited). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 12:24 PM Flag
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Thanks for that info. The price and fee structure that you got sound a lot better! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.12, 05:23 AM Flag
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Why do you need a doula for ? Sorry for my ignorance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:06 AM Flag
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I'm still learning, but they help you to avoid a c-section (NYC hospitals often rush to cut), advocate for you in labor, and help you to manage pain if you hope to avoid or put off an epidural. Do a search -- a lot of the women here are more well-versed than I am. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:12 AM Flag
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Doulas work for the woman and no one else and represent her wishes when she's not in a situation conducive to advocating for herself. So while the doctor or midwife is interested in keeping the woman safe and healthy and delivering a healthy baby, they also have to take the hospital's best interest into account when they make decisions. The doula also stays with the woman throughout the labor, doctors and nurses and midwives do not (though my midwives stayed with me the whole time I was at the birthing center I delivered at, but birthing centers are not hospitals and I was the only woman in labor when I delivered both times). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:34 AM Flag
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Interesting...I'd never considered the midwife's potential conflict of interest. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:58 AM Flag
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Unless it's a homebirth, the midwife still has to follow hospital or birthing center protocol and policy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 01:07 PM Flag
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Yes, I went to him for one of my pregnancies. I didn't use a doula though. I wasn't crazy about him because he didn't explain things well. He was always in a rush to get to the next patient. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 11:58 AM Flag
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NP: This is exactly why doulas are helpful. To explain things and to stay with you so things aren't rushed. Also to give you tips and suggestions through labor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 12:13 PM Flag
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Good point. In my experience there is no such thing as a "perfect" doc in the sense of explanation. It's just that some are much much better than others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.12, 12:47 PM Flag
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Do not use Debra Badran. We had a terrible experience with her. I will not post the details because they are private. You need to take the negative reviews very seriously. There are many great doulas out there, and you should choose someone else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.12, 06:06 AM Flag
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Thank you for writing me again. I wish I could get the personal details of your experience at least via private e-mail, but understand that you don't want to share. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.12, 10:51 AM Flag
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I wasn't very happy with him. Sometimes he said inappropriate things which I usually ignored but after a while I didn't want to hear it anymore. Yes, I agree that he does not explain much. You have to chase after him to ask a question or voice a concern. Even during labor I felt like he wanted to rush things so that he could get back to his office. If I could do it all over again, I would have went to a different doctor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.12, 07:47 PM Flag
[ - ] for working moms out there: anyone taken a really short mataernity leave, and successfully jumped back in? by short, I dont mean less than 6 months. I mean less than a month- 2 weeks, to be exact. I'm in med school, very early on in my pregnancy and doubt id be "officially" be given more time off than that, without being forced to skip the rotation and hence stay back an entire year. with my first kid, I really was back on my feet 10 days later, albeit tired. we moved across the country when DS was 21 days old, and so in ten days, I packed up our apartment basically all on my own, as my DH was out in NY setting stuff up for us there. We didnt have a night nurse though so I was up every couple hours with him. if I manage to get more sleep, and am as fit during this pregnancy as the last, IF childbirth itself goes well, do people think that its possible to get back to school within 2 weeks? please say yes.... 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 06.28.12, 01:10 AM Flag
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I say no. It is not fair to you, or the new baby, or your family to do this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 02:00 AM Flag
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It also isn't fair to patients in the future, you will not retain anything you learn in that time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 04:49 AM Flag
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I had to go back to work immediately after DB #1. Had unexpected c section, worked from home for 2 weeks then back in the office. We had a full time baby nurse though. Know that you will have to supplement with formula and probably not bf for a long time. DD is fine. GL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 03:09 AM Flag
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thanks!!!! wow! with a C section too! that makes me feel so much better, you dont even know!! I plan on having a full time nurse, this time around, no question about it. totally ok with formula, was the first time around too. ill nurse AM and PM for as long as I can, and thats it, but nursing cannot be my top priority. how did you PHYSICALLY FEEL going back to work? did you drive? cab? train? like litearlly- was walking difficult? do you have a desk job? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 03:47 AM Flag
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Subway to and from work and short walk to and from subway (maybe 7 blocks total). I felt pretty capable a week after delivery and could walk fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:12 AM Flag
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My orthodontist did this. I thought it was unbelievable--she didn't skip a beat. I think that she must have had mom + husband + nanny for full day and night coverage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 03:20 AM Flag
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thanks for another + story. Im in medical school and I am not allowed more than 14 days off from the rotation I will be doing when I am due, or else I have to stay back the year. I WILL have my mom around, she said shell stay for as long as i need, + MIL has offered her help- she said shed prefer to come AFTER my mom leaves, so that she can lend a hand too, but not when her being there is just taking up useless space (which i think was really sweet of her). + supportive husband. + nanny. +we totally plan on getting a night nurse. the practicalities I think i have worked out. its just the question of "will i physically be able to be on my feet for a few hrs/day 2 weeks later" that Im freaking about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 03:49 AM Flag
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If that is freaking you out that much (and, frankly, it should - the first baby is pretty tough), then just take the year out. I understand it's keeping you from earnings for another year and from finishing, but I just don't see how this is worth it. You sound really motivated and ambitious, so it's not as though a year out is going to keep you from being a doctor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 08:20 AM Flag
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Its my second baby. with my first, I packed up our house for a cross country move, on my own, 19 days postpartum (DH was already out there setting stuff up). I was NOT working, but I was physically and intellectually busy- no pregnancy brain or anything with me. 1 wk postpartum, I WAS exhausted, and I remember going grocery shopping and getting a manicure, and wanting to get home and to relax more than anything. 3 weeks I was good. I dont remember 2 weeks, thats my problem, it was an in between period. I hope ill make it. its my ambition precisely that is keeping me FROM taking a year off. I will be miserable home for a year, doing absolutely nothing. lets face it. I have a BA in biology. I have no marketable skills other than pipetting in a lab. which, FTR, I did (at the rockefeller institute, cool place) for 2 years while deciding if i really wanted to go to med school. I HATE LABS. I HATE RESEARCH. I WILL BE MISERABLE. I AM ambitious, I love what I'm doing, and my worst nightmare IS having to take a year off :). not to mention, its literally throwing away money for another year. we arent poor, but med school isnt cheap either.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 10:39 AM Flag
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I find this so sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 04:07 AM Flag
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ITA. How unfair to the baby [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 04:52 AM Flag
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Me too, is one yer really more important than your baby? Or your sanity for that matter. I was physically fine a week after both births but I was in no state of mind to go back to work and leave my baby, they need you at the beginning and you miss out in so much if you go back at that point. Unless you have to work to stop your family from starving I don't understand why anyone would do this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 04:52 AM Flag
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it sounds like the baby will have 5 loving adults looking after her. I do not think it sounds sad at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:37 AM Flag
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Lots of residents/med students do this. You'll be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 04:33 AM Flag
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I am a Dr and went back after 5 wks for both DD, but my job was not patient care, it was research. What made it possible is DH who was home both times (and one time a nanny). The thing is, two weeks is VERY short, if you have to have a section, it could be only a few days after you get home from the hospital, and [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 04:59 AM Flag
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cont. It doesn't give you time to establish nursing pumping bottle feeding; you'd almost have to start bottle on day 1 which you might not want to do. I think for a short mat leave 6-8 wks is reasonable, not less. But people do it. You might be able to do it physically, but you will be TIRED. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:00 AM Flag
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cont. If you do it, keep your expectations low and get lots of help. I personally think for the baby it's better for them to have you around when they're old enough to really notice, and they WILL get to know you even if you just nurse most nights. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:02 AM Flag
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thanks alot. I know ill be tired. but I have tired on my agenda for the next like 8 years, til I finish residency/fellowship etc. I know worst case scenario is taking a leave of absence. Im being realistic. But I also just wanted to hear from other moms that getting back within 2 weeks (IF i dont have a c section- thats a bit of a game changer), is possible. Im tired all the time anyway, without a new baby ;), just having a toddler and school to manage. exhaustion i can handle. a year off being a SAHM, I think ill really be miserable. its just not me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:11 AM Flag
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Maybe I am hormonal from just giving birth, but this post made me cry. I don't even want to go back after a 4 month leave. What is so terrible about missing the rotation and having a year off with your new baby? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:00 AM Flag
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Also a very good option! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:02 AM Flag
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nothing. if you can afford it... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 06:30 AM Flag
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If you're in med school, you know that you can't predict what your physical condition will be after childbirth. You can't plan on 2-4 weeks. You will certainly get 6 weeks, as that is the disability period. You can make it up. I know it seems like it, but you're not the only one to have a baby in med school. It's been done before. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:17 AM Flag
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OP here, I'm in medical school, not a resident. there is no FMLA. 10 days weeks is considered the maximum amount of time you are allowed as an "excused" absence for medical reasons during a rotation. Ive looked into it. NO one is firing you, or docking your pay, thats the difference. *I* am paying them. and THEY say, if you want more time than that off, keep your money, and return in a year. unfortunately, its that simple. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 07:13 AM Flag
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i dont know- between the new baby and trying to spend time with #1 it will be a very precious emotional time for all involved....i remeber when #2 was born i never gave myself a break because when he would sleep it was time to give my attention to #1, on top of household duties and trying to get myself back into the real world.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 05:32 AM Flag
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MD Mom: many of my friends and co-residents took <6 weeks and were fine, you just have to have childcare and pumping established. I was an attg, so was lucky to have 10 weeks. No maternity leave is enough, but if everything is OK and you plan accordingly, you will be fine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 06:32 AM Flag
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op here, thanks !!!!!!!!!!! Im (obviously) pretty early on, so its not like Ive told anyone. I think I just need the "boost of confidence," and hearing from others who have been thru what I have (ie- pregnancy/childbirth and having been in med school, not necessarily both concurrently), telling me, I know what youre going thru and ITS GOING TO BE OK. so thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 07:15 AM Flag
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my sister was doing surgery residence and took less than 1 month. seems to be common in medicine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 07:04 AM Flag
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ha thanks so much! just hearing other peopole have BTDT, makes this whole thing a bit more palatable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 07:14 AM Flag
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Of course you can -- and it is actually common both for medical residents and the millions of people who simply don't the luxury of foregoing a paycheck for months. The advantage you have over the latter is that you can pay someone to do the night shift at home for you so that you can sleep. It is expensive, but even if you have to go into debt to do it, given that you will be earning a good salary soon, you should get a 24 hour baby nurse for the first 3 months. Just be sure when you hire that you make clear that you are a doctor and will be going back to work in 2 weeks. Some baby nurses are real prima donnas and expect the mother to do a shocking amount of things for them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 07:08 AM Flag
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thanks alot. I am pretty fortunate in that we can afford a baby nurse. and we live really close to the hospital. i'm not scared about the practicalities, I am super thankful that I have an excellent support system in place. im scared about judgement by attendings towards the end, (judgement=docking my grades b/c obv on the wards e/t is subjective), and my physical state 2 wks pp. I can only base it on how i was last pregnancy, which was totally fine 2 wks later. idk.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 07:17 AM Flag
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It can be done. I was back after 4 weeks of my C section. I felt I could have been back earlier. I was driving and doing all of the stuff at home in 3 weeks. In 4 weeks I was operating/standing for long hrs. I was involved in direct patient care and it was fine. Though later I slipped into depression. As a resident I was supposed to stay after hrs too and had to face bad traffic that made me sad as I could not see baby in day time at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 07:17 AM Flag
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thanks! ill be on either peds or family medicine (depending on whether i give birth at 38 wks-like last time, or 39/40 wks, or am overdue, etc) so thankfully, no standing for 6 hr periods. if this interfered with my surgery rotation whatsoever, Id be forcing myself to take the year off, being that surgery is where I hope to be heading. THANK GOD it doesnt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.12, 07:20 AM Flag
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had a baby during internship year (unplanned pregnancy- I had an IUD!), had the baby on a Fri night, was back 16 days later (ie, got home from the hopsital with my new baby Sunday morning, was back at work 2 Sundays later at 6 AM). It was not physically or emotionally easy, I will not lie, but I knew I was leaving my baby in good hands (my parents live in the neighborhood, and I have an amazing nanny). I started night float two weeks later, which was actually nice (ironically) because I got to see my kid during sunlight hours...:). You can do it! Good luck!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.12, 12:08 PM Flag
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