UrbanBaby

[ - ] RUNNERS - how far into pregnancy did you run? Any recommendations for maternity belt to run in as belly grows bigger. I'm 19 weeks now and still running .... 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 08.20.12, 05:05 PM Flag

I ran until I delivered, but I cut back on distance and pace as I got further along. Any support belt works fine [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.20.12, 05:09 PM Flag

Good for you! I ran well into my 8th month, though by that time it was more like shuffling - not running at all. I did a 10K for fun at 6 1/2 months and went gently. It was very encouraging. I used Gabrialla maternity support belt. Good luck! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.20.12, 05:13 PM Flag

Thanks. Yeah "running" is a strong word here. It's more like a light jog but just glad to still be out there. I'll check out the Gabrialla ones. Did you just order online (fitmaternity?) or try on in store? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.20.12, 05:48 PM Flag

I just ordered from amazon, actually. It worked out ok, though I didn't consider that it would get really sweaty afterwards. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.20.12, 06:49 PM Flag

Can I ask what shorts/pants you're wearing when run? I grow bigger very quickly and struggle with something comfy and light weight on the bottom to workout in. Thanks! Also, do you wear a heart rate monitor? What pace are you able to run while keeping HR in check? To keep mine in the 150s or below, I can only run 10s+ (2-3min/mi slower than usual) and I'm only 6wks. I think my HR is much higher than usual when pregnant. Frustrating, but I don't want to give up running this time if possible. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.20.12, 05:52 PM Flag

I do wear a heart rate monitor and my pulse is much higher than usual when I run. I run about a 10:30 pace right now (closer to 11 when it's hot out). My goal is to keep heart rate under 160 bpm. If it gets close (on hills) I walk. It's almost impossible to keep below 150 for me right now. I'm wearing running shorts still but mediums instead of small. I keep waistband below my belly. I had to buy new sports bra's too! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.20.12, 06:45 PM Flag

I know.. that old advice about not exceeding 140. Gosh. I would freak out at 158 but it turned out ok. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.20.12, 06:51 PM Flag

I found a really wonderful brand of maternity running shorts which I still wear (they're that comfortable - for me, at least) now, called Born Fit. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.20.12, 06:50 PM Flag

OR - Thanks! When I was running this weekend, I found myself wishing there was a NYC group for pregnant runners. Would be nice to have some other people to run with who understand when I have to stop and walk up harlem hill or cat hill due to HR! I can't run with runner friends anymore and it's lonely and boring going so slow :) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.20.12, 07:10 PM Flag

Wish we had gotten in touch last year when i was doing this. My little boy is now a year old and I have the other problem - not having any time to run at all! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.20.12, 08:48 PM Flag

OR - On weekends, walk to the park with DH, have him hang with DS at the playground for an hour while you run. On weeknights, run after DS's bedtime; if NYC, central park is safe feeling until 9pm-ish. Or in the mornings it's good any time after 5:30am. That's what I do (#1 is 2yo). It's hard to juggle but you can do it, don't give up the exercise, keeps me sane! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.20.12, 09:09 PM Flag

[ - ] Can someone help me decide between Bugaboo Cameleon and the Uppa Baby Vista? I live in Manhattan. And oh, I really dont care about the expandability for 2 kids w/ the Vista because I'm assuming we're only having one child. THANK YOU! 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 08.14.12, 09:59 PM Flag

I just chose the cameleon bc it thought it was easier to push (better shocks imo) and less bulky (and a bit lighter). The plus I saw in the vista, was that it came w more accessories. I didn't think that was worth it , so went with the bug. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.14.12, 10:06 PM Flag

look at on line reviews, go to buy buy baby and have them show you both, then you decide all by yourself. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.14.12, 10:07 PM Flag

i say go to giggle instead...they know a lot more than the buy buy baby employees. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.14.12, 11:01 PM Flag

I thought they were both too much stroller, but if you're going with them, measure the wheel bases and then check your doorways, elevators, and grocery store aisles to make sure both fit. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.14.12, 10:26 PM Flag

I want the Uppa Baby. I tested both at Buy Buy Baby [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.14.12, 10:30 PM Flag

Nanny here: I've pushed both. I like the bugaboo better assuming you have room for it unfolded in your home. The bugaboo pushes so much easier, but it doesn't fold very easily. I assume you'll be taking an umbrella stroller when taking a cab or bus. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.14.12, 11:16 PM Flag

Yes, i'll be transitioning to one once baby gets older. Some of the drawbacks I see w/ bugaboo are: small/inconvenient location storage basket, can't use it once baby is over 37lbs, you need to remove seat before folding. The drawbacks to uppa baby: wide rear wheel base and good but not as good handling vs bugaboo. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.14.12, 11:39 PM Flag

Nanny again: unless you have a really big baby, I don't think you'll be using a stroller past the point of the weight limit. I honestly don't know if DC was more than 37 lbs when we got rid of the bug but it was fine. Don't get the bug if you plan on folding it frequently. I kept things I needed frequent access to in the diaper bag, I kept groceries on the handles. To get into the bag I did need to get down on my hands and knees, but it was worth it to leave the house after a snow storm. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.14.12, 11:51 PM Flag

IDA with the folding - we keep ours folded in two pieces in two different places - base in one closet and seat under the couch - we don't have much storage space and the uppa baby would never fit folded in one place in our house - it's really big when folded but it does have a much better basket. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.15.12, 12:30 AM Flag

Don't worry about the weight limit. Not a problem at all. My three yo is not yet 37 lbs and we rarely use the stroller anymore. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.15.12, 12:34 AM Flag

my 3.5yo is 30lbs and hasn't ridden in a stroller for at least 6mos. Don't worry about the weight limit. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.15.12, 12:45 AM Flag

It really depends on how big your child is. Mine is huge, so the weight limit was important for me. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.15.12, 01:44 PM Flag

I've had both and recommend the uppa vista. Bugaboo wheels were not sturdy enough to handle the curbs and sidewalks in the city IMO whereas the vista was much easier to handle. Also, have had the same vista for 3 years and never had to rePlace the tires. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.15.12, 12:42 AM Flag

Definitely Vista. Bigger basket and it can be folded. Cheaper too. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.15.12, 01:42 PM Flag

Loved our vista, i was pretty tough on it, walked hundreds of miles with it, packed the basket to the gills, and never had a problem, not one rip or jiggling handle, etc. scrubbed it up good, and had no trouble selling it used on CL. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.15.12, 02:51 PM Flag

[ - ] 7 wks pregnant, killer nausea ALL the time! Tried ginger, lemonade, B6, zofran, seabands, etc. Nothing helps and I'm feeling desperate. Totally want this baby but beginning to feel like I'm not going to make it! 35 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 08.12.12, 11:52 PM Flag

Carbs [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:57 PM Flag

time. by 16 weeks you will be just fine. try to hang in there. it's worth it! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:00 AM Flag

I understand you are trying to give her hope, but for some people with bad nausea it does not get better until the baby is born. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:21 AM Flag

Thanks. I needed that encouragement! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:21 AM Flag

Make sure you are not dehydrated and ask your OB about Hyperemesis. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:08 AM Flag

popcorn helped me, so did those red and white peppermint candies, and ginger ale or pepsi. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:15 AM Flag

Been through it 3 times now... no good cure (although this time I've found protein helps as much as crackers), but it is sort of a talisman to carry a gallon size ziploc just in case, so you know you won't hurl all over yourself. Hang in! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:20 AM Flag

Find a candle in a scent you can tolerate. You don't even have to burn it (smell may be too strong then); just leave it next to you. I was you for the entire first trimester (I don't know why they call it 'morning' sickness when it lasts all the time) and actually lost weight because nothing stayed in except sometimes saltines and very cold water with lemon in it. The candle helped; I carried it everywhere. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:21 AM Flag

lavendar scent is supposed to help [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:32 AM Flag

I had constant all day nausea until the 5th month. nausea coupled with horrible excess saliva and outrageous smell sensitivities. Nothing really helped - it was horrible - so I feel your pain! - just know you WILL get through it and there is an end - it's just a long journey - but you will get through it! I ate a lot of sesame bagels and lemonade. I also went through a phase of drinking Brisk Ice-tea - so weird, but it helped with the nausea b/c I couldn't drink - oh and the baby will be fine despite you not eating well!!! Good Luck! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:34 AM Flag

OP: Thanks for the encouragement. That's what I needed to hear! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:40 AM Flag

Try to make sure you're stomach is never empty. Always have something to munch on, e.g. pretzels, crackers, cheese... give up on regular meals, just nibble, nibble, nibble. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:33 AM Flag

OP: yeah, I'm figuring out that grazing like that works best. It's just awful even thinking about food, let alone having to eat it constantly. And I'm someone who normally LOVES food! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:39 AM Flag

I'm candle-suggesting-mom above. I forgot, there were a few things I could usually eat besides saltines: pretzels dipped in a little peanut butter, with ice cold water. And cherries as long as they were very hard and very cold. Also try to avoid smells which make everything worse. I am a coffee addict but in order for dh to make himself coffee in the mornings, I had to go to the other end of the apartment, with every door closed between me and the kitchen, and all the windows were open in every room, or the smell would floor me. I couldn't go into a restaurant. Even thinking about cleaning the catbox made me retch. Are you actually vomiting all the time? If not, don't worry, really. If you are, you do need to talk to your ob and they can put you on meds to stop it. GL! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:56 AM Flag

OR above: I hear you, OP. I love a good meal. It stunk being stuck munching on bland stuff and never enjoying a hearty repast. Focus on getting to that 12th week ultrasound! You'll get to see your db, AND you'll be nearly out of the Upchuck Woods. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:21 AM Flag

try frozen chunks of pineapple. It won't last forever, Girl. Hang on in there... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 04:14 AM Flag

wt heck...I really only hit 'reply' once! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 04:15 AM Flag

try frozen chunks of pineapple. It won't last forever, Girl. Hang on in there... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 04:14 AM Flag

try frozen chunks of pineapple. It won't last forever, Girl. Hang on in there... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 04:14 AM Flag

mine was horrible no matter what I ate or did--BUT--it peaked at 8-9 weeks and then it slowly got better until it disappeared at 12 weeks. You might be in the worst part right now--and it will hopefully pass soon! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:43 AM Flag

I had it until 20 weeks and then I suddenly felt great. Just tough it out. It's so worth it. I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad though. It is miserable. Hang in there! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:58 AM Flag

Ditto here, horrible till 20 weeks and then felt fine. Totally worth it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:20 AM Flag

Sunflower seeds works sometimes, sucking the piece of lemon. Multivitamins can make it worse - ask your doctor. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:08 AM Flag

I had to take those at night. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:14 AM Flag

Sugar! Pregnancy #1 I started with boxes and boxes of bazooka that I would chew until the sugar was gone and move on to the next piece. Pregnancy #2 I started with jolly ranchers and moved on to fire balls because they aren't chewable and take longer to dissolve. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:16 AM Flag

I really feel for you. My pregnancy was like this for the first 3 and a half months. I slowly found foods I could tolerate. carrots, cheddar cheese, red grapefruit juice. I ate bacon, even though I am generally anti nitrates. It is really hard. have you tried lemon sucking candies, the little ones in the tin? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:35 AM Flag

Acupuncture [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:46 AM Flag

OP: I was thinking of doing acupuncture. At this point, I'll take anything that will help, even if it's only placebo. Did it work for you? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:49 AM Flag

My acu said the points for nausea are too close to points that could cause miscarriage [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 02:27 AM Flag

Coca Cola and saltine crackers [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 02:19 AM Flag

urgh i feel for you. nothing worse. it might even stop at 12 weeks. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 02:31 AM Flag

Unisom. It will make you so, so sleepy but it works. Zofran took the edge off for me but Unisom made me feel better. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 02:35 AM Flag

I had to eat protein in bed before I sat up. Cold chicken worked best. I was sooooo sick. At 14 weeks it disappeared. Good luck! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 05:06 AM Flag

try a new prenatal vitamine. Mine got better when I switched to a different brand. Yup, that easy! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 11:21 AM Flag

Stop taking prenatal vitamins if you are taking them and instead just take folic acid with dinner. Eat a couple of saltines upon waking and every 2 hours throughout the day. Take Calcium magnesium citrate in the evening before bed. Buy Preggie Pop candies. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:28 PM Flag

[ - ] HELP!!!! I am 4 weeks away from my due date and my OB is trying to pass me on to another OB just because I showed her a birthplan indicating a natural birth and she doesn't seem to want to deal with it!!! What's more, I am 40 and considered high risk because of my age ONLY, all other factors are even better than most 20 and 30 year old preggies!! I'm very healthy and disease free. But at my appointment this weekend she gave me the name of a several miles from where I live and I was trying to avoid that by going to her in the first place since her office is a 5 minute walk from my place and the hospital where I would be giving birth is a mere 15 mins walk away. Is this fair? or really shitty?? I just know it feels very WRONG!!! Any advice is appreciated. Thank you all. 178 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 08.12.12, 08:30 PM Flag

what's with the exclamation points? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 08:32 PM Flag

it's called being frustrated. that is all. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 08:58 PM Flag

Yikes. I don't mean to be mean, but didn't you talk about natural child birth when you initially saw your OB? Some OBs just want nothing to do with it. Honestly, if she is passing you on to another OB that is happy to work with natural child births, you might be much better off. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 08:37 PM Flag

I did tell her early on and she agreed, but when I put my wishes in writing things changed. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 08:39 PM Flag

What exactly did u write?? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:06 PM Flag

My "birthplan" is very simple actually: no epidural/equivalent, no pitocin/equivalent, when baby is born, put on mother's body immediately and husband will cut cord 2 mins after. Only in the event that mother/baby are in true danger should the plan deviate. Why is that so difficult? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:09 PM Flag

Oh Lord. Your specifications of the number of minutes in which your husband must cut the cord, etc. are kind of ridiculous. I can see where a doctor would be averse to working with you and your plan, if given the choice. Only in the event if mother/baby is in true danger the plan can deviate. But you realize that it is never 100% easy to tell when someone is in danger, or when you are acting to avoid the potential for danger. We are talking snap second decisions here. And if the baby is not put immediately on the mother's body because the doctor is concerned about something, does the doctor risk you yelling that the baby is not about to die so you need the baby on your body as per your birth plan? The problem here is not your wishes- they are fine. Its the implicit "ultimatum" or adversarial tone this seems to imply towards the medical profession. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:21 PM Flag

The medical profession, by the way, that is actually trying to HELP you. Your attitude seems to imply that the doctor is lucky to be witnessing your birth, rather than the other way around! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:22 PM Flag

uh no. the med prof is just that, a profession. A money making engine...all over the world and rural areas births happen every day without doctors and are just fine. In fact, all advice says that if you have to give birth in an emergency how to do so, and there is NO mention of any meds, funny, huh?? I would love to give birth at home, but the truth is, I UNDERSTAND the risk....but no one here, save for one, seems to understand where I am coming from on this. sad really....raise your virtual hand if you've had a natural birth...very curious. And how many had it in their plan and the meds led to a domino effect of interventions....hmmm? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:34 PM Flag

I gave birth in a birthing center where there were no pain meds or pitocin used for inductions (they had it to stop hemmoraging (sp?)). I didn't want a medicalized birth for many reasons, but a big one was because I didn't want to risk a c-section. Also, I just wanted to do it with no drugs to see if I could. But of course I could. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:39 PM Flag

where was that? any chance, St. Lukes, NYC? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:45 PM Flag

Cambridge Birthing Center. Itwas great. I was born at S. Luke's, though. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:49 PM Flag

See- I think this is the problem. Your conviction that the medical profession is "a money making engine". I expect that there are very very very few doctors or hospitals that you will be happy with, given your strong opinion on the profession. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:47 PM Flag

np: it's naïve to thing that most doctors let a woman labor with no medical interventions. If this were true, our induction and c-section rate in the US would be much lower. There are some necessary and life-saving c-sections performed, but you have to admit that many are to prevent lawsuits, not to save the mother or baby. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:01 PM Flag

Yes, women give birth all over over the world with minimal intervention...and women and infants can have horrible outcomes. Look at childbirth mortality and morbitity rates in the US 100 yrs ago. I'm happy I'm alive now. Worked in a NICU for yrs...it's not all sweetness and light. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:06 AM Flag

The major thing that has changed in childbirth is emergency care. 100 years ago women died because something went wrong. Today, doctors can intervene and save both the baby and mother, and that is amazing and should be lauded. But the actual process of normal birth has not been improved - that's just not possible. Doctors forget that they are only really needed if something goes wrong. Otherwise, they shouldn't do much. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:23 AM Flag

Fascinating. Tell us where you got your degree in medicine and/or public health, again? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 06:10 AM Flag

Do you even understand the significance of waiting to cut the cord? And 2 minutes is nothing. To the doctor it would be an eternity though, I'm sure. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:44 PM Flag

Generally, you'd wait till it stops pulsating. Not put a time stamp on it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 06:11 AM Flag

It makes a huge difference! You want to cut the cord early to preserve cord stem cells, but waiting 10 minutes for maximum blood return from the placenta is generally healthier for the baby - it reduces 1st month neonatal hospitalizations. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 06:44 AM Flag

Yeah but I "settled" for 2 mins because that is the absolute minimum and I could tell my doctor wasn't happy at all with that too. what a farce. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:38 PM Flag

Oy. I'd pass too. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:55 PM Flag

It makes no sense that the first time you discussed with your ob the type of birth you wanted was four weeks before your due date. How did it never come up? But no one can force you to get an epidural, so just don't get one. Have your partner tell all the nurses and doctors to not offer you an epidural. Problem solved. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 08:38 PM Flag

I imagine she is more worried about getting a c-section that isn't truly needed. The section rates for different doctors are dramatically different. What one doctor considers "necessary" is way different than what another doctor would consider necessary in many cases. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 08:40 PM Flag

you can't be forced to consent to an unnecessary surgical procedure. So don't give your consent, op. Let your dh be the go-between asking, 'is my wife or baby in any danger? No? Then let's wait another hour.' And remember, your wishes are more important than your doctor's preferences. You have here there in case of an emergency. Short of that, there's not much for her to do. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 08:44 PM Flag

I think if I can't change doctors at this point, I may have to get a doula or midwife who won't be as emotionally charged as my husband might be game time. He is ready to seriously clothesline her if she if comes near me with meds/procedures we don't want. Thing is, she was even defensive when I offered to bring a doula in the picture!... Well after I give birth I will divulge her name so anyone can know and stay away from her. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 08:56 PM Flag

so go with the other doc [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:03 PM Flag

That's IF they will take me at this point, I started asking around and it seems like it's very late in the game...we'll see. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:05 PM Flag

Actually, this might actually work out well for you. They may take you, but not have enough time to get to know you well enough to be turned off by you. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:54 PM Flag

You and your DH sound really negative towards the medical profession-- "ready to clothesline" your doctor, really? Do you think that she is there in the middle of the night for her own enjoyment? And for that she gets threatened with her life because she perhaps tries to give you her best medical recommendation? I think you and your DH need to seriously back down, realize that yours is not the first baby being born into this world, and get a better attitude before your baby is born. Otherwise, you are going to be in constant battles with everyone who is in your child's life- pediatricians, teachers, coaches, ... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:24 PM Flag

Yes! I'm willing to bet that this is a consistent pattern of behavior for the OP. This isn't the first doctor she's bullied around. I feel sorry for her kids' future teachers. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 06:46 AM Flag

And you just go blindly into doctor's offices trusting everything they do or say...my husband was told he had some medical issues and right away they wanted to put him on drugs to regulate those issues, he said no way, I will take care of it with diet....so I bet you're a pharma whore. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:42 PM Flag

Ok, you're a fucking idiot. There's really no evidence that natural birth is better for babies, but go ahead and do it if it makes you feel superior. Not anyone's problem but your own. I hope you have an uncomplicated labor. But you put all this time and energy into a birthing plan, and you don't realize that the bigger problem here is that your child is disadvantaged from the beginning for having such a self righteous, closed minded, resentful, hostile, antagonistic, fear mongering pinhead like yourself for a mother. Hope your child finds some good educators along the way so he/she doesn't turn out to be an onerous 40 year old like you. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 02:18 PM Flag

Yes! thank you, exactly! I am completely against a c-section which is only for the doctor's convenience, which is happening too often in our lovely country. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 08:53 PM Flag

Np: C sections are only for the doctor's convenience? You are an old untried first time mom with an aggressive chip on your shoulder. This is why your doctor is trying to get rid of you. There is nothing wrong with being an educated patient but you sound more like you want to drive the ship. Maybe you and your clothes-lining husband should deliver at home. You know, where none of the pesky medical professionals may try to use their education and experience to save your or your baby's life. For her convenience of course. Stupid first time mom. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:02 PM Flag

ITA home birth sounds awesome if she's so confident. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:10 PM Flag

It's too late to find a midwife, and i don't think many would take a high risk woman. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:41 PM Flag

np: you're being a bit harsh. She doesn't want an UNNECESSARY c-section, i.e. one that is for 'failure to progress' according to an artificial timeline. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:20 PM Flag

Exactly, thank you. I wish I were ignorant. I wouldn't be any wiser. But I do care, and it's my downfall, thanks again for the clarification. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:24 PM Flag

You are ignorant, though. Without experience or a medical degree, you think you know what is best. You have too much faith in your wisdom. And implying that people who disagree don't care I'd more of the offensive posturing that would put off a doctor. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:35 PM Flag

We are socialized into fearing birth. I believe my body is fully capable of doing this without a medical pro, but I also understand the risks of doing this thing at home. I believe in science, I really do, but these doctors just see the numbers, numbers of clients, numbers of artificial timelines and especially numbers of dollars. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:49 PM Flag

Sigh. "These doctors" are not the enemy. They are not evil personified. Look- if your doctor was so evil (and focused only on numbers of dollars) she wouldn't have referred you to a different doctor, right? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:56 PM Flag

well she is clearly worried about a lawsuit, so i'm going to say yes. If she were confident, she wouldn't pass me along, if that's what you mean? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:59 PM Flag

If she were confident she could work WITH YOU she wouldn't have passed you along. Clearly,she did not feel she could work with you. I'm sure you feel that is her loss:) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:00 PM Flag

quite the contrary, you have no idea what an inconvenience it is for her to pass me along. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:07 PM Flag

She isn't worried about a lawsuit. She's just making the decision tha you aren't worth the headache. Delivering babies is a job - she would probably rather work with someone who doesn't have such a chip on her shoulder. My SIL's ob had to beg and plead with my brother to sign for the c section to deliver his son safely. SIL simply wouldn't agree for many of the same reasons. She thought the doctor was wrong for this, wrong for that. The doctor just wanted the baby to be born before he suffered a birth injury. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:11 PM Flag

It sounds like you watched Ricki Lake's show, the Business of Being Born, and bought it hook, line and sinker. I think it is great that you feel so confident. Truly, I hope you have the birth experience that you want. But I hope you can take a step back, look at your aggressive and broad generalizations about obs and allow for the fact that your ob is trying to land you and baby safely on the otherwise of your birth. She has nothing to gain from your attitude than the small amount of insurance allowance. And if she decides it isn't worth the headache, you own that. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:57 PM Flag

np: I watched that movie and liked it. I liked that the filmmaker ended up not getting her homebirth even though she did not want to have to go to the hispotal. But she listened to her midwife and let the doctors take over because something was wrong. Doctors should be willing to work even with difficult patients. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:19 PM Flag

Totally agree. No doctor, nurse, or hospital could make u happy. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:26 PM Flag

I told her the first time I saw her (8 weeks) I wanted a natural birth...she agreed then, but when I outlined the details, such as NOT cutting the cord until after 2 mins past, and not using pitocin, she got all standoffish. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 08:51 PM Flag

Did you tell her that these are your preferences as long as everything goes well? Maybe she doesn't want to deal with someone who thinks she can control everything. Or maybe she's just a bad doctor or not the right one for you. Go to a different one. If you want a natural birth and everything goes well, the specific doctor doesn't really matter because they won't have much to do. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:01 PM Flag

In the beginning she kept saying as long as there are no complications, and I totally agreed with that, but she kept saying it as if she were planning for complications or something :-/ I completely understand that if there are in fact real complications, baby or myself in trouble, that ALL bets are off. But I don't want to be bamboozled into a C-section for her convenience. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:03 PM Flag

good for you. So switch doctors. What's more important to you, the convenience of the doctor's office or having a doctor you're comfortable with? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:07 PM Flag

OF COURSE she is planning for complications. Would you prefer a doctor who, when a complication arose, reacted like "oh shit, I never planned for THIS to happen!" [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:02 AM Flag

preggies? i'm pregnant and if anyone said this to my face i'd smack them. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 08:40 PM Flag

sorry for not being more PC! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 08:52 PM Flag

You don't seem to understand that at age 40 you are high risk just because you are 40. How "healthy" you are generally is irrelevant. Saying your DH might "clothesline" her is a very aggressive word choice. I think your doctor is just realizing how difficult you are going to be and wants out. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:08 PM Flag

I do get it. It's age based only...I know women in their 20's and 30's as I said who had GD, Preeclamsia and it had nothing to do with their age. Healthy is healthy regardless. Yeah, you're right, she probably wants out. Kuddos. She's messed up twice on us already, once with my insurance and another time giving me wrong patients results. Should have left her long ago, I'm too forgiving. EFF ME! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:13 PM Flag

check out the referral. It may be a blessing in disguise and you will be very happy. Think positive. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:25 PM Flag

I will, thank you :) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:28 PM Flag

if she's already messed up twice, why on earth do you want to keep her so badly? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:47 PM Flag

location + location + location=convenience. Unfortunately, she is a 5 minute walk and the hospital is 15 min walk. Welp, guess that'll be changing now. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:05 PM Flag

that and I'm way too forgiving. No more Mrs. nice guy. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:14 PM Flag

Right. I doubt this. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:15 PM Flag

haha [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 06:48 AM Flag

ten minutes? what's the big deal? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:31 PM Flag

what do you mean 10 mins? she wants to send me miles away now, I live in NYC and it would be a supreme hassle to go miles away. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:50 PM Flag

The world does not revolve around you and your wishes. Say and repeat- about a million times. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:57 PM Flag

So go to St. Lukes and work with a doctor/midwife combo in the birthing center there. That is what you should have done to begin with. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:58 PM Flag

np: I think making a birthplan is a good exercise but it's important to know that it is just an exercise for you. Also, it's good for the staff to know what you want so that as long as there are no complications, they don't have to ask you certain things - they can just read it. But if something goes wrong, you have to know that no one cares what you wrote. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:15 PM Flag

Like I said if they are *genuine complications* then all bets are off, understood. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:17 PM Flag

And who is going to determine if the complications are genuine? You? What if your doctor sees a POSSIBLE impending complication- one that she would like to prevent- but you tell her not to (because you know better than her what the outcomes of these things can be) and then the complication occurs, your OB tries to make up for lost time by doing a quick c-section, but your baby suffers lack of oxygen to the brain because you waited until the complication was deemed "real" in your untrained opinion? And then you decide the doctor should have acted faster? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:04 AM Flag

My OB assured me she would follow the birth plan and didn't even try once I was in labor. But you have no choice but to find someone else now because she doesn't want to do it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:36 PM Flag

All birth is natural. Do you mean a vaginal birth? Do you mean a drug free birth? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:37 PM Flag

Yes, Vaginal, drug free and especially not a c-section. Also waiting at least 2 mins before cutting the umbilical cord and allowing me to breast feed straightaway, rather than using pitocin to aid the placenta to expel. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:45 PM Flag

Why do you want to wait 2min to cut the cord? Delayed cord cutting can be bad for your baby [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:05 AM Flag

so that the baby gets as much of their own blood from the placenta as was intended. how can it be bad if in an emergency situation where women give birth on their own while waiting for paramedics are told to keep the placenta attached until help arrives?? oh woah, so I guess I do have some faith in the med prof, looky there.... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:12 AM Flag

Woah? Is that "whoa" by any chance? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.14.12, 12:51 PM Flag

Pitocin, or more commonly methergine, is used to aid the uterus to contract after birth - to prevent excessive blood loss from the mother. Go back to your research. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 06:17 AM Flag

um, do you NOT know that breastfeeding does EXACTLY what pitocin/mehergine are meant to do....check your research to, not just the pharma kind. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:45 PM Flag

*too [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:45 PM Flag

It's the doctor's prerogative to not you have as a patient if she thinks that you are so rigid that something might happen to you or your baby and she will get sued and he malpractice insurance would go up. You get to choose a doctor that is more in line wiht your plan and it you are this rigid, this is clearly your first baby. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:39 PM Flag

I did say all bets are off if there are genuine complications, did you not get that part? clearly. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:45 PM Flag

it's really your attitude not your understanding of that one fact. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:08 PM Flag

So are you going to let your doctor decide when there is a complication, or did you read a book about childbirth and you are going to decide? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:06 AM Flag

MD mom here: You sound like a nightmare. Your lack of understand of you being high risk, your distain for her planning for the worst (which is her job) and your frustrations and dictatorial attitude before the birth put you firmly in the pain in the ass/potential law suit when you don’t get your way category. And that’s why she’s pushing you elsewhere. She will have had many patients like you before who think their medical option trumps hers and frankly they are not worth the hassle. Go elsewhere, this is not a good match. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:43 PM Flag

Sorry I'm not willing to sit back and let her convenience dictate my baby's health. I am also very well informed. If that is what you mean by nightmare, then yes, yes I am the worst nightmare. So go have your epidural and pitocin and see you in the O.R., MD mom. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:50 PM Flag

Then good luck my dear. I'll be there when you're screaming for the epidural like all your type do in the end. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:57 PM Flag

Gotcha. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:09 PM Flag

NP - you suck. How do you know she's the kind of woman to get an epidural after saying she wouod never want one? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:21 PM Flag

thank you AGAIN, whoever you are. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:35 PM Flag

you're welcome. I totally understand where you're coming from. Just go in with the knowledge, not just the hope, that you are not going to get an epidural. pretend it's 200 years ago and drugs don't exist. Let dh do the talking so you can concentrate. Maybe you should get a doula. Then you will have someone to speak for you when you are busy in labor. your dh just wants to protect you, but he may not know the best way to do it. A doula would. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:54 PM Flag

yes, we have been through the bradley method training, and I am confident that my husband can coach me through labor and avoid meds, but when pushing starts, I think a doula would be best...I was trying to avoid getting a doula because my OB originally was put off by it (to be expected?) like I was questioning her competence, quite the opposite, I wanted to make sure she is supported. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:02 PM Flag

you get the doula to make sure YOU are supported. Your doctor has to weigh the needs of the mother and baby AND the hospital and her insurance company. The doula only works for you and your best interest, and that could mean that she recommends listening to the doctor if s/he thinks an induction or other intervention is needed. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:22 PM Flag

Experience. Something OP doesn't have here. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:02 AM Flag

but why is she a woman who would get an epi even afyer claiming she never would? And btw, I was adament that my birth would be drug free, barring complications, and it was. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:24 AM Flag

There is no specific explanation. I'm referring to years of seeing this pattern with women with expectations so high they have a nervous breakdown when things don't go to plan. Drug free isn't for everyone but some people have a harder time admitting that than others. And no, I don't know why that is. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:35 AM Flag

Here's what it boils down to: Preparedness. I notice that a lot of my friends said they wanted a natural birth but couldn't do it, and when I asked what they did to prepare for it, they looked at me like I had two heads. You wouldn't show up to any other phyisically demanding activity expecting to succeed without preparation, (sports for example), why would you do that for birth? In rural areas of developing countries, women do lots of laborious activities which prime their bodies for labor/delivery. We don't normally do that physical work...so we have to make a concerted effort to mimic that activity, and more....that's the preparation. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 03:36 AM Flag

See- this is exactly the problem. NO ONE said that they expected you to sit back and let her convenience dictate your baby's health. You sound borderline paranoid and quite aggressive- as if you are expecting the very worst from your doctor. With that attitude, I can see why your MD might think you would be happier with another doctor. Giving birth and working with a doctor should ideally be a collaborative interaction. Its not the doctor telling you what to do, but its also not you Telling your doctor what to do and what you expect of her. This is the first baby you have yet to birth-- she has likely helped birth thousands. If you don't trust your doctor to have your best interests at heart, than you should be the first one out seeking a new doctor. Doctor's are NOT god and they are also not your manicurist to give you the mani/pedi that your heart desires! Sheesh. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:12 PM Flag

to be fair, no woman should just go along with everything her doctor says during birth. Some doctors medicalize birth when the birth process does not need help at all n the vast majority of cases. It's a mistake to give over your agency to the experts when nothing is wrong. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:33 PM Flag

OR: I agree. That's why I started my post by saying that no one expect you to sit back and let a doctor dictate what happens to your baby. I stressed that working with a doctor needs to be collaborative. I'm confused as to why you think that I said instead that she should give her care over to an agency/ expert? Seems like you didn't read my post. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:49 PM Flag

because many people think that doctors deserve complete respect and think women should just shut up and listen to the so-called experts. OBs are surgeons and many are not comfortable in doing nothing while an uncomplicated birth progresses normally. Of course, women should trust the doctor when her body is in trouble; the ability to save lives is what they went to school for, not to speed up the birth process. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:11 PM Flag

You sound like the WORST kind of patient EVER. I'm an MD, but not an obstetrician, and from what I hear from my friends, people with written birth plans are a pain in the ass to deal with. Most likely, your OB is trying to pass you on to another doctor NOT because she doesn't support a natural birth (it sounds like she was informed of your wishes from the beginning), but because you have some kind of borderline personality disorder that's making your and her relationship a terrible one without much hope for a good outcome. Admit it - if she even deviates from your little birth plan one iota, you're going to sue her and flame her to the whole world, right? Trust me, I deal with plenty of difficult patients (people who don't like doctors, who come in armed with reams of wikipedia articles, who won't even let residents touch them even though it's clear that we're a teaching hospital...) and it's generally easier to just, for lack of a better term, give in to those people. Avoid the lawsuits, kick the residents out of the room, treat the patient. However, there comes a point where there's no use. The train is coming at you, and you're going to die. Even if they deliver a perfectly healthy child, you're going to get sued for not giving them the right pillows or something. Then, it's better to just redirect to the patient to a new doctor - hopefully all of their hostility stays with you, they'll like the new doctor better than you and their relationship will be a healthier one, win/win all around. At this point, you've already talked and talked yourself into an even more negative opinion of your origical doctor. Please, please please go to the new doctor and be happier. Just two more things though: 1) Doctors really do put their patients' needs before their own. Always start from a place of good - believe that we are trying to help you, and let's work together. 2) Doctors are not waiters or unfortunate customer service representatives who get mistreated and bossed around by the more uncouth populace on a daily basis. The doctor-patient relationship is a PROFESSIONAL relationship. You pay me for my surgical expertise and medical decision making skills, and I provide you with medical care while respecting your culture and your values. There's no reason for this to spiral out of control, like some kind of high school melodrama. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 07:39 AM Flag

You're completely arrogant!! And you sound like the kind of doctor who is quick to write a script than take the time to explain how a patient can rather improve their condition with diet and exercise....or while you write the script explain those things, because oh! you get kickbacks, now don't you? Getting all the cord blood that belongs to my baby is an EXCELLENT way to prevent all sorts of diseases/ailments down the road....but I bet if you were an OB you'd push your patients into the bank you get commisioned from. Read some more below and you'll see how "my kind" was able to resolve infertility. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:01 PM Flag

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General Topics 08.13.12, 07:39 AM Flag

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/jamie-and-jeffs-birth-plan [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:52 PM Flag

hahahaha this is HIlarious!! Thanks for sharing. But you know what...my "birthplan" is very simple actually: no epidural/equivalent, no pitocin/equivalent, when baby is born, put on mother's body immediately and husband will cut cord 2 mins after. Only in the event that mother/baby are in true danger should the plan deviate. .........WTF is so hard about that? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:59 PM Flag

WTF is so hard for you to understand about the fact that you sound like a lunatic, a tyrant and a dictator. better plan on giving birth out in the field somewhere with no intervention at all. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:11 PM Flag

np: not really. She just doesn't conform to your ideal patient. Donlt be a bitch. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:23 PM Flag

nnp: You aren't really an MD who doesn't know how to spell "disdain" are you? C'mon why would she take your advice. That was not a typo. If the MD really felt the 2 minutes was an issue, she would have explained in detail why everything else was fine but this was something that couldn't wait bc of X, Y, Z. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:58 AM Flag

Doctors should get rid of more pain in the ass patients. Our pediatrician says she vaccinates, and if you dont like it, find a new practice. People like you need to be "fired" be a few doctors, and then you'll chill out [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:46 PM Flag

Well informed patients will always be a pain. It's the nature of things, it means we know our rights and risks of all the medication. Sorry you bow down to doctors, they are not "God". I had 3 doctors say I would never get pregnant...guess what, natural pregnancy here. Go join the fear mongers out there, you'll feel safer. And please, read the entire thread not just the original next time...so you too can be well informed. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 09:53 PM Flag

Np: with each additional post, it is becoming clear why your doctor wants to see the back of you. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:09 PM Flag

Really? Did you come to my post to help or to bully? seriously. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:12 PM Flag

Did you post for honest opinions or ego strokes about the mean old doctor? Go post on mothering if you are looking for a crunchy seal of approval. If you want real people providing a reality check, here you go. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:22 PM Flag

I want support of real women who had genuine natural births. I don't think I am finding that here. Too bad... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:28 PM Flag

But you don't know if you will have a genuine natural birth - this is the flaw in your logic. Just because you want it, doesn't mean you will have it (nor does it mean the your failure to have this will result solely from your doctor's needless intervention). You have no idea if you will have CPD. You don't know how your baby will tolerate labor. Looking only for validation from people who are tried and know that they didn't face these things gives you a one sided vantage point. You don't come across educated and interested so much as aggressive and a zealot. Your animosity towards the doctor (clotheslineing?) speaks volumes. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:33 PM Flag

All over the world and rural areas births happen every day without doctors and are just fine. In fact, all advice says that if you have to give birth in an emergency how to do so, and there is NO mention of any meds, funny, huh?? I would love to give birth at home, but the truth is, I UNDERSTAND the risk. We are socialized into fearing birth. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:42 PM Flag

My husbands relatives live in India. I personally know of 4 babies in his family that have died in the last few years from complications around birth. Yes, births happen all the time around the world without doctors. And yes, most are fine. But there are plenty that would have benefited from the expertise of a doctor and a functioning hospital. No one is asking you to fear birth, or opt for a medication if that is not what you want. However, you seem to have an overarching arrogance about your level of knowledge, and at the same time a great deal of contempt and suspicion towards (all) doctors. Maybe that is not true in real life. But that is what is coming across in this post. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:53 PM Flag

Perhaps it's because I had 3 doctors who told me "at my age" I would never have a child of my own....surprise! here I am! That, and I can give lengthier examples. I have one doctor, my PCP who I adore and think is awesome. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:05 PM Flag

Oh and naturally, thankyouverymuch. :) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:05 PM Flag

Instead of demonstrating an awareness that your pregnancy is a miracle in light of three medical opinions otherwise, you see this as a demonstration of your superiority and your doctors' incompetence. Ugh. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:18 PM Flag

not a miracle, just science. and good common sense. I would explain more, but really I never wanted this to be a battle. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:36 PM Flag

You are 40 years old! A healthy natural birth is not just common sense at 40. Three doctors must have seen hormone levels or something to say that you were in worse position than even an average 40 year old in order to say NEVER. So you are either exaggerating what they said to make yourself sound like a super star conceiver or you are underestimating the sheer luck from your conception. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:54 PM Flag

Nope, no exaggeration, no hormone level discrepancy...infact it was the most frustrating "unexplained infertility" diagnosis (from all the reading I did, I was determined to beat the non-diagnosis of "unexplained infertility")....then I insisted on a simple test ...where the problem was finally found and remedied, an obstruction in the uterus. They said they didn't want to do the test because it would be "very uncomfortable for me" I went to a few RE's before one finally agreed to do it. So yes, I am a super star. Not lucky either, just very much in tune with my body, what it needs and how to insist on the correct intervention, where necessary. I'm sorry to blow your theories out of the water. But this is all truth. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:08 AM Flag

How can you both say that you understand the risk and minimize such risk by saying we are socialized into fearing birth? In one breath, you admit the risk. In the next, you minimize the fear resulting from the risk. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:00 PM Flag

OR: Not at all. There is a risk of a car being in an accident, so we use car seats for the kids and seat belts for ourselves. But I don't fear driving in a car! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:03 PM Flag

i'm sending you big hugs. In a sea of nitwits, you are so refreshing. I need a doula with your wit!! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:14 PM Flag

Being a pain in the ass patient has nothing to do with being well informed, and being well-informed has nothing to do with being a pain in the ass. I'm a doctor myself, can tell you that with certainty. In fact, the two are probably inversely correlated--- the less-informed are more of a pain. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 10:13 PM Flag

I hope you get a doctor who gives you a vaginal birth, and that your child dies during labor. Consider yourself cursed now, you freaking hag. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:00 PM Flag

how brave of you do make such claims....anonymously. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:11 PM Flag

Did you find my anonymous vitriol shocking? Wait until you hold your baby's lifeless cold corpse. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:19 PM Flag

oh my fucking god. How can you wish that on anyone? How dare you? And what is your fucking problem, you horrible pig? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:33 PM Flag

Think is the worst thing I have read on here, and I've been here a pretty long time. Congratulations, I guess that's what you were going for. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:16 PM Flag

Yikes. What an awful thing to write. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:53 PM Flag

This is becoming a real waste of time for me. Thought I would get more targeted support, but oh well. Thanks to the one person who stepped in on my behalf several times. You're awesome. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:23 PM Flag

Will you choose cremation, or burial in a family plot? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:30 PM Flag

np: this. Before the doctor's convenience and your preferences, your doctor is concerned about your baby being born alive and healthy--and you staying alive and healthy. That's #1. I can't believe you actually think the doctor is more concerned about convenience than that. And I can't believe you're more concerned about getting your natural birth experience than you are about healthy baby/healthy mom. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:44 AM Flag

you're welcome. And there were two of us :) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:33 PM Flag

hugs for both then! have a great evening and week to come.... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 11:38 PM Flag

You sound like a major PITA and I'm sure that's why they're passing you off. No doctor is going to push you to have petocin or an epidural - you have to sign consent for the epi - it's all in your control. They give you the baby as soon as the baby is checked out - which can be before the cord is cut, but if they see something that requires further checking, they're going to take the baby and check it fully before giving them to you. My second had a HUGE birthmark that turned out to be nothing, but they had to fully check him -- it still covers his entire leg at the age of 4. You need to trust your doctors. Find someone else and try to relax. No doctor wants to do a c-section if you are having an uncomplicated labor and there's no risk to you or the baby. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:13 AM Flag

you talk about control, but when you're in labor you can't make decisions in the same rational way that a woman not in labor could. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:33 AM Flag

Is this OP? Is this your first DB? I've had 4. Never had a problem making a decision and the only time I was screaming for pain meds or a C-section was during the last few minutes of a few of them. You have to learn that you don't know everything. You don't know what you'll need or want when the time comes. Comes with the territory and a good lesson for parenthood. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:49 AM Flag

I am not the op, and I've had two kids. I was in no state to make rational decisions during either birth because I was so focused on my body and managing the contractions. I was so open to the power of suggestion. And I could only talk to my dh, and he had to speak for me. All I knew is that it took all of my energy to labor and I had nothing left to argue with anyone. I also never screamed for pain meds or for help. I find it impossible that you stayed in your left, rational brain during labor, but I believe you when you said you did. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:11 AM Flag

Agree..the birth plan is not all that...it's the next 21 yrs. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:11 AM Flag

This doctor sounds like a very reasonable person and probably a good doctor. Something about your birth plan or your delivery of it made the doctor feel like she would not be comfortable attempting to meet your expectations or that she's not the right fit for you--and she found someone she thinks would be a better fit. Your mistake is that you didn't treat your relationship with your doctor like a dialogue, you don't seem to trust or respect medical expertise at all, and you didn't shop for someone who fits your philosophy from the beginning. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:32 AM Flag

Yup, you make good sense. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:41 PM Flag

I'll be interested to see if, after hrs of labor, you decide on an epidural. No shame...let's just see. You have no idea what your labor will be like...and you sound a bit rigid and unrealistic. Good luck anyway. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:11 AM Flag

See, people like you who want others to fail are just awful. Why do you want her to 'fail' and give in and get an epidural? What's in it for you? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:26 AM Flag

simple: misery loves company, these are miserable people here, and I can't believe I'm still reading this. I notice that a lot of my friends said they wanted a natural birth but couldn't do it, and when I asked what they did to prepare for it, they looked at me like I had two heads. You wouldn't show up to any other phyisically demanding activity expecting to succeed without preparation, (sports for example), why would you do that for birth? In rural areas of developing countries, women do lots of laborious activities which prime their bodies for labor/delivery. We don't normally do that physical work...so we have to make a concerted effort to mimic that activity, and more....that's the preparation. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:41 AM Flag

Getting an epidural isn't failing. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 02:09 AM Flag

Exactly...you can never predict how you'll react in labor..or what you med needs might be. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:25 PM Flag

NP: you're the one using the words "fail"--an epidural is not failure. It's an awesome invention and I'm always happy when others discover the benefits even if they swore they didn't want to at first. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 02:27 AM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:36 AM Flag

There was no need for a written plan and it makes you seem like a PITA. I am also an older mom, did not do amnio, went to almost 42 weeks with no induction, no epidural pushed at all. It was a simple, if you would like an induction we will consider it at 41 weeks (I did not and waited for natural labor) and once at the hospital (Cornell) it was just let us know if and when you would like an epidural. Nothing forced at all. No written birth plan needed. You do not dictate to the doctor how to do their job. If you want to run the show, you should do home birth with a midwife and doula. You showed great disrespect to your OB with the dictation of care. (I did btw, change my mind and get the epidural after 17 hours.) Good luck. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:34 AM Flag

with all due respect, nopatient should ever be worried about disrespecting their doctor. Puhleeze. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:38 AM Flag

Everyone deserves respect for their expertise. If you don't think they know how to do their job, find someone else. You don't dictate to someone how they do their job. You can state your preferences, but not demand them. If your wishes don't match with their practice, you need to find someone else. If you don't respect your doctor's experience and education, find someone else. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 03:26 AM Flag

Not if they LIE and agree to a plan and then when they see it on paper back out! That's tantamount to breach of contract. She should have said from the start she doesn't support a natural birth. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 03:32 AM Flag

Not accepting your ridiculous birth manifesto, does not mean your OB wouldn't be perfectly fine with you not getting induced till 42 weeks as long as your non-stress test results were fine, or you not getting an epidural. It has nothing to do with your OB being fine with a natural birth, it is not being confined and controlled by a patient to their possible detriment. Guess what, even if you give them your birth plan they can toss it in the garbage can and proceed as usual anyway. If you are adament about it, find an OB or midwife that accepts their practice and care be dictated by a patient. You will find someone out there that accepts this behavior. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 03:42 AM Flag

Birth manifesto- fantastic! :) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:51 PM Flag

BTW, baby came out and they immediately put him to my chest. Then cut the cord and took him to be checked out, weighed, etc.. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:39 AM Flag

On the one hand, I get you - my first birth was terrible in a lot of ways (and I had no birth plan!), culminating in me emphatically saying no episiotomy I don't want it, and the doc saying you need it - slice (in retrospect I should've had him charged with assault). But, that's really bad. My second birth was fine. Most people's are fine. And if you've liked the doc till now (is this an excuse for you to leave if you haven't?), trust that you have no clue what's going to go down. I'm pg with my 3rd, and after 2, I am humble enough to recognize that every birth is different, I don't know what I'm in for, and as long as DH will advocate for me, I'm along for the ride - it's about the baby entering the world safely, not me feeling earthy crunchy and totally in control of an often out of control situation. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:56 AM Flag

It's baby's safety first. No argument there, but barring all other doctor imposed conveniences, I'm sorry, I want to keep un-needed drugs out of my and baby's system, why is that so wrong?! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 03:05 AM Flag

If you just let things happen, you would not be getting the drugs and it would not be an issue in the hospital. Anesthesiologist comes in, just say no thanks to the epidural. They are happy not to have to put one in and take a break. The written instruction booklet for your OB shows significant control issues, they don't need someone telling them how to do their job down to those details. You don't agree with your OB's practice, find someone that matches your personality better. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 03:23 AM Flag

Good lord, did you not read the previous responses here? What kind of "instruction booklet" are you talking about? This is all I said: "No epidural/equivalent, no pitocin/equivalent, when baby is born, put on mother's body immediately and husband will cut cord 2 mins after. Only in the event that mother/baby are in true danger should the plan deviate." What is so wrong with this? Why do you think I don't have the right to have an unmedicated birth? I don't walk into any situation blind folded the way most people do, sorry. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 03:30 AM Flag

You don't need to give written instructions to your doctor for this. You simply don't agree to go in for an induction, and you tell the anesthesiologist when they come in you don't need an epidural. I did so (although changed my mind about the epidural after being in the hospital in labor for hours and asked the nurse to call the anesthesiologist back). You are not walking into a situation blindfolded. This is normal procedure for childbirth in a hospital. It is not normal to give your OB written instructions. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 03:45 AM Flag

I'm beginning to think this is fake anyway, no one is this ridiculous. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 03:46 AM Flag

You were lucky he did the episiotomy. Having both torn and having had an episiotomy, healing from the tears was MUCH more painful and difficult. Your OB did the right thing for you, which is why the patient should not be telling the experienced doctor what they should be doing. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 03:49 AM Flag

Totally fair. You are a high risk mom.She isn't going to be responsible for complications that can be avoided. Don't restrict your doctor with your hippy ideas [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 02:27 AM Flag

I self referred to maternal fetal medicince specialist because of my age at 39 and no one thought I belonged there. Actually, with an uncomplicated history, a switch at this point doesn't seem like a big deal esp. given the fact that you and your OB are not on the same wavelength. If you were at a group practice, any one of the docs in the practice could be on call when you go into labor. IMHE, the experienced docs are the best and a nervous or hesitant doc would be my labor nightmare. Meet the new doc and see what happens. Perhaps this situation is a blessing in disguise. Also to be honest, the freak out attitude (!!!!) will not help you with a natural birth. Everyone is different, but I found practicing meditation and yoga the best preparation for an unmedicated birth. GL [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 03:47 AM Flag

BTW really good hospitals and doctors will do most of what you described i.e. not push pain meds, immediate breastfeeding after birth, clean baby after breastfeeding initiation etc. because they have been identified as good clinical practice with better outcomes. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 03:54 AM Flag

Exactly, they do all this already, no written instructions needed. You are alienating OB for no reason. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 04:00 AM Flag

If they always do that already, then what's the problem of providing "PREFERRED GUIDELINES"....she could have just smiled and said OK, see you on labor day. But she did not. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:55 PM Flag

OR here: if you are the OP, it's not a problem of providing "Preferred Guidlines". The specificity comes off like it's your way or the highway and who wants to deal with that attitude? As a clinician, I try to refer patients like you because it seems like you will not be satisfied with any other way of doing things i.e. law suit waiting to happen. Again, my suggestion would be to meet the other doc. Your alternative is to stick with a doc who is hesitant to treat you. Also, try to find a doc with privileges at a designated baby friendly hospital. I sense that you're trying to exert control over a situation that you have yet to experience. You can have a positive, deeply meaningful, and healthy labor and delivery if you choose to let it happen. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 02:54 PM Flag

Please don't refer to the rest of us as preggies. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 06:09 AM Flag

Do you prefer knocked up? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 12:55 PM Flag

You really should have gone with a midwife. Plenty will take older women. You should call all the larger mid wife practices affiliated w/SLR (Midwives of Manhattan etc.) and see if they will take you. Maybe call also Barbara Sellars at CBS midwifery. She doesn't take many first time patients at all since her partner (Elizabeth) went overseas, but since it's so close to your due date, she might take you if her current patients due dates aren't too close to yours. If not, you definitely should consider hiring a doula to act as your advocate during labor and help fulfill your birth plan. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.13.12, 01:40 PM Flag

Just curious: do you plan to vaccinate your child? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.14.12, 12:51 PM Flag

[ - ] looking to buy a grace pack and play for my newborn to sleep in once he arrives (for the 1st 3 months). any feedback on this or recommended models? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 08.12.12, 01:47 AM Flag

If you plan to nurse, I would buy an arm's reach cosleeper. It turns into a stand alone pack in play when you are ready for that. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 01:50 AM Flag

Get one from a friend or buy used. All the baby gear is such a waste of money. I have 6 pack & plays between all the grandparents houses. The best is the Chicco Lullaby - but only worth it if someone else is paying. The Gracos are all good - don't worry about the bells and whistles, get a basic one if you're buying yourself. We have a few $40 Cosco models that are really just as good - but don't come w/ the bassinet feature, so probably not what you're looking for. If you'll be using it for a crib after 3 months, you'll want a real mattress: http://www.amazon.com/Dream-On-Me-Portable-Mattress/dp/B0030UUBMO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1344738486&sr=8-2&keywords=pack+and+play+mattress [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 02:28 AM Flag

^^ and that co-sleeper is BS. If you're nursing, you still have to get up to change DB. No benefit to having no rail between you. They're not as sturdy or portable as the pack& plays.. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 02:30 AM Flag

And they are heavy to try and transport. Get the packnplay with the diaper change thingie that holds the baby up high until the baby starts moving around. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 03:47 AM Flag

np: my dd loved the co-sleeper. In the beginning we put the moses basket in the co-sleeper and she loved being in a semi-enclosed space. When she got a little older we took the moses basket out and she was fine. I think it helped her sttn so quickly. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 05:06 AM Flag

It's no different than the pack & play. She STTN because of her temperament and you not picking her up every time she made a noise. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.12.12, 06:55 PM Flag

We have a Chicco and my inlaws have a Graco for when we visit. With both we use the MamaDoo Kids mattress topper for extra support and comfort. It is firm, fits perfectly and folds in 3 so it is very portable. We love it! Good luck to you! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.14.12, 06:20 PM Flag

[ - ] Can someone help me? OK< I'm 6 months pregnant. I dont have chronic depression but about 1-2 times a day, I get this intense depressed/empty/black hole feeling. It's so hard to describe and it just comes on whenever. I have a great life and nothing to complain about. Has anyone gone through this before? It's definitely not anxiety about taking on the parent role. I do have that but this sensation is so intense and dark/horrible. IT lasts about 1 minute and leaves me feeling so horrible and empty. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 08.09.12, 01:56 PM Flag

I think I go through something like this. Generally when I'm tired. But on the side chance, have doctor check your thyroid. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.09.12, 01:57 PM Flag

hormones [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.09.12, 03:06 PM Flag

[ - ] Need MFM consult this week!!! Should I go to Carnegie MFM or the Mt Sinai group (Stone, Edelman, etc)???? Both places can squeeze me in tomorrow. thanks 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 08.07.12, 02:42 PM Flag

what is MFM? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 03:03 PM Flag

maternal fetal medicine [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 04:19 PM Flag

Either would be great. I was a patient of MFMA (Carnegie) and met all the docs there, I adore them. Was also in the hospital for ages and met Eddleman a few times for BPP. He's very low-key but also seems great. First answer is whichever one takes your insurance, then probing a little deeper I'd ask who the appt would be with at Carnegie. Rebarber/Fox/Saltzman would be my top choices there for an MFM issue. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 04:06 PM Flag

Thanks. Dr Fox said he can squeeze me in today. Since this is so time sensitive I don't have a lot of time to do research. I appreciate your help. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 04:13 PM Flag

He is a doll. Don't be alarmed by the fact that he is (a) very young and (b) looks younger than his age. He was my primary there and was the first person to tell me honestly about my risk profile and options, and he came to visit me when I was admitted antepartum and when I was in recovery even though I am pretty sure he was not on call at the time (others from the practice were in the hospital). My DH has some kind of bromance thing with Rebarber but Natie is my favorite of the MFM team. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 04:23 PM Flag

>>Forgot to add, good luck, hope all is okay w/you and your pregnancy [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 04:33 PM Flag

Thank you so much! I feel a lot better knowing I'm at least going to a good doc. Thank you thank you!!! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 04:56 PM Flag

I got to be honest, didn't LOVE Dr. Fox (at least compared with his associates); I found he was very negative in his consult with me, but the practice overall is outstanding. Good luck. (P.S. -- my outcome was perfect in the end). [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 05:01 PM Flag

OR above: I never totally gelled with Rebarber for whatever reason, though I think he's amazing and he delivered my baby. Different personalities, I guess. My favorites there are Bender and Silverstein, actually, but that's probably because I lived in the hospital and saw them so much. (OP, you won't see them, they're the OBs who are part of MFMA but not part of Carnegie.) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 05:23 PM Flag

Thanks to you all!!! I was very happy with Dr Fox. He was honest and patient which is what we need right now. Baby is doing well. We go back in 3 weeks. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 11:20 PM Flag

Fox fan OR: So glad to hear it, I was checking back to see if you posted. Good luck with your pregnancy; I hope for your sake you don't have to have as much quality time with the MFMA team as I did! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.08.12, 12:24 AM Flag

[ - ] I am 38 years old and expecting twins through IVF. 13 weeks pregnant and had my NT today. The doctor said that everything looks good but baby B is borderline but 95% of the times it means nothing and we should just wait for the blood tests to come back in three to four days. Of course I feel very nervous and was wondering if anybody else has had this situation and the outcome of it. We will love our babies equally and devote our lives to them no matter what but would love to hear from others that have experienced this before. Thanks. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 08.07.12, 12:48 AM Flag

This isn't quite the same, but I did not do the NT (I planned to have CVS so didn't see the point), and the sonographer later told me that I had saved myself some needless stress because the visual indications were borderline/increased risk. CVS was normal (DC is now 2+ yo). [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 01:28 AM Flag

Incredible! I am glad to hear this. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 01:41 AM Flag

My twins had quite few visual indicators that gave me quite a few heart attacks when pregnant. They were all wrong. Congratulations on your twins. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 01:31 AM Flag

Thank you! It's great to hear your twins are fine. I feel much calmer knowing this. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 01:44 AM Flag

If it's any comfort, I thought my situation was unique until I spoke to a couple of other twin moms and they told be they had similar experiences. Not sure why this is. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 01:55 AM Flag

NP: I think you're right it's common. I have a friend who had visual indicators for problems and baby was fine. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 05:01 AM Flag

My DS #3 results for NT was bad and the blood test said 1 in 7 chance for Downs. Had CVS and he was fine. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 01:33 AM Flag

We are going to look into having a CVS. You must have gone through so much stress before this test! Thanks for sharing. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 01:47 AM Flag

yes and further tests were fine [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 01:52 AM Flag

Friend of mine had boy girl twins last year. The boy has downs, the girl is fine. She didn't do an amnio because she was at risk of early labor. She wouldn't have done anything had she found out, anyway. They are very happy and the twins are lovely. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 02:43 AM Flag

Argh, hated the NT for twins. If I remember correctly, the blood test isn't accurate for twins because the numbers are the same for both fetuses. In my case, one of my babies tested elevated risk for Downs (1 in 150). I was driven to distraction until I did the CVS test. Two healthy babies, now three years old and delicious. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.07.12, 04:46 AM Flag

[ - ] I am considering the Louis Vuitton Neverfull bag as a diaper bag. Any suggestions on the gm or the mm? Anyone want to sell me their preowned one? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 08.06.12, 07:15 PM Flag

I can sell you some pre-owned diapers. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 07:29 PM Flag

that's an awfully expensive bag to be putting poopy diapers in [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 08:58 PM Flag

[ - ] I am currently hooking up with a guy that is very successful and works at facebook. He is nice, and i'm thinking I might surprise him with a pregnancy. He seems like he would stick around and is very able to afford a baby. How far into the pregnancy should I wait before telling him? I don't want to tell him too early, because if the stock prices keep failing, I will get an abortion before the 3 month mark. 34 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 08.06.12, 12:41 AM Flag

Lolsy [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:42 AM Flag

Nerds have sex? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:43 AM Flag

Is this a test to see if people are still reading/posting to UB? If so, you need to be more subtle. No one is going to bite on this one. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:43 AM Flag

please go under a bridge and die [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:43 AM Flag

you should've picked a better company [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:44 AM Flag

So fucking fake. No one in this day and age "surprises" someone with a kid. No fucking way. If you on the %.00000000000000000000000000001 are real, you are the biggest asshole on this planet. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:44 AM Flag

≠1 abort quickly [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:45 AM Flag

+100000000000000 abort w/in the hour [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:45 AM Flag

I'm an asshole? Well excuse me for not wanting to bring a kid into this world that I can't afford you bigoted welfare bitch [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:54 AM Flag

If that's your logic, you are freaking twisted. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:57 AM Flag

I'm sorry. You're not an asshole. I meant to say CUNTHOLE. That, my whore, you are. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:58 AM Flag

What? You can't find anyone to marry you so you are going to trap a man? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:58 AM Flag

Lol at someone who is in favor of marriage talking about "trapping" a man. If he didn't want a kid he didn't have to have sex with me. Marriage is for insecure people, mid-westerners, and christian fundamentalists. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 01:06 AM Flag

Marriage is a mutual decision. Getting knocked up is not. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 01:40 AM Flag

Are you accusing me of rape? Or do you think he is too stupid to know that sticking it in can lead to a baby [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 01:44 AM Flag

Not rape. Entrapment. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 01:55 AM Flag

How old are you that you think having a functioning set of ovaries is entrapment? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 01:57 AM Flag

Ask him if he wants kids. Are you afraid he will say no? Why not be up front about it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 02:11 AM Flag

I'm not going to to ask a dude if he wants kids, its my body [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 02:13 AM Flag

You are a loser. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 02:18 AM Flag

you are hilarious. you need a blog or something. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:44 AM Flag

Fakity fake fake [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:46 AM Flag

at least it wasnt yahoo [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:47 AM Flag

CNET, instead of posting things like this, try bringing back the old UB [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:48 AM Flag

You will make a great mommy. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:50 AM Flag

Obviously you haven't been following FB stock. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:51 AM Flag

If your FB guy is Mark he's already married. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:51 AM Flag

This is why trolls are the spice of life. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 12:58 AM Flag

So good [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 01:25 AM Flag

Terrible thing to do to someone. I feel compelled to point out just because someone works at Facebook, doesn't mean they are rolling in money. Unless he's been there for years, he likely doesn't have much stock, which means he doesn't have that much money. No windfall for you! So if you want to saddle your child with a resentful, absentee, working stiff, Facebook isn't a bad place to start. But it is no guarantee of instant riches for your child/money pot. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 01:45 AM Flag

He's a project manager, started in 2008. So ya, he isn't going to be like a billionaire or something, but if things stay like they are I don't think he will be too bad a choice for a first daddy. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 01:55 AM Flag

Have you been following FB stock? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 02:12 AM Flag

I'm trying not to until the lockout ends because its all so up in the air until then [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 02:17 AM Flag

You wil be disappointed. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.06.12, 02:20 AM Flag

[ - ] Does anyone have recommendations for a high risk OB in Manhattan? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 08.05.12, 11:01 PM Flag

Any of the doctors at East Side Women's OBGYN (http://www.eswobgyn.com/). Especially Dr. Brightman, but I love them all! They got me through my second pregnancy after my first was born at 32 weeks due to pre-eclampsia. Second DC was born full term (no pre-eclampsia) and I really credit their diligent care for making it happen! GL! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 08.05.12, 11:13 PM Flag

[ - ] A question from a natural childbirth preferring mom-to-be: did anybody deliver in NYC Bellevue hospital and if yes, do they support the natural way? I`ve been going for general check-ups there & so far have always been seen by midwives- very nice by the way. Thanks! 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 08.02.12, 07:43 PM Flag

[ - ] Looking for great obgyn who delivers at Mt. Sinai who takes Blue Cross/Blue Shield. Any suggestions? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 07.28.12, 12:48 PM Flag

call your provider [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.28.12, 02:43 PM Flag

MFM? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.28.12, 02:57 PM Flag

Did you go to MFM? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.28.12, 03:25 PM Flag

They are beyond awesome but they do not take BCBS. They will work out a cash price with you and you submit it to the insurance co. Could get very expensive if you have lots of office visits because that's where the reimbursement via BCBS is a little sketchy, I was "lucky" enough to be an inpatient for ages and got reimbursed basically 100% of what they charged me. Adler/Lanzkowski may take BCBS and they are also very nice guys. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.28.12, 03:34 PM Flag

Thanks! Very helpful. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.28.12, 03:43 PM Flag

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General Topics 07.28.12, 04:51 PM Flag

I am using Dr Adler, Kurtz, Kassenoff, McNally. So far I've only met Adler and Kurtz. Pretty good so far. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.31.12, 08:25 AM Flag

Kurtz, kasenoff are horrible! I would stay away from that practice [ Reply | More

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General Topics 02.27.13, 11:37 AM Flag

[ - ] Alicia has been working with us for almost 6 years, since my son was 2 months old and my daughter 16 months. We have since had another son who is now 4. Alicia has been wonderful throughout. She is a loving and very capable caregiver. The children will be in school a full day and we no longer need a full time nanny. Alicia is great with play dates, museum visits, baby and children’s classes, doctor’s visits, everything! We will miss her and want to find her a good position. Feel free to contact me Stefanielws6@gmail.com for more info. 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 07.27.12, 02:11 PM Flag

[ - ] Anyone have a strong recommendation for a baby nurse, based on personal experience, that you can offer? Is it typical to meet/interview potential baby nurses in NYC? Thanks for your help. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 07.27.12, 06:25 AM Flag

Mine no longer works in NYC, but yes I interviewed a bunch. I felt like the personality fit was the most important to me, bc we are living in a small apt and we'd be on top of each other all day. Also, I felt very vulnerable bc I didn't know what I was doing. So I wanted someone who would be nice. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.27.12, 06:33 AM Flag

Mine will be free! Tonight is my last night that I will have her all of my friends used her if you will like to place a e mail address? Will be more than happy to send you her info! Best of luck! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.29.12, 02:55 AM Flag

[ - ] advice/suggestions please- I will have two weeks off after having 2nd baby before having to go back to school. not looking for people judging me telling me I am a horrible mom, or advice like "take the semester off" (which is not possible- its either take a year off, or go back, and I cannot take the year off). just tell me- what can I do beforehand for my body, and around the house, to make things easier, and how can I make things easy postpartum. my parents live a couple of miles away, so my mom will be helping out. my husband gets 2 wks of leave, so he will be home too. we have a nanny, older son will be in school from 8-3 every day, and mostly with the nanny. Im hiring a night nurse. have crib, will have clothes, diapers, supplies, etc, beforehand. I can pump, but will also be using formula if necessary. please pile on the tips everyone!! id really appreciate any advice/support I can get. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 07.24.12, 08:55 AM Flag

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General Topics 07.24.12, 08:59 AM Flag

lets see. medical school = 60k/yr. plus the cost of me NOT working/bringing in a salary. night nurse=4-5k for two months. nanny 500 per month (6k/yr), have had a nanny for the past 5 yrs. I might not be getting my PhD in math, so Ill let you add that all up. we are talking about 5k (for night nurse) vs the cost of me putting off working for another year of our lives. I asked for no judgement. my goodness. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.24.12, 09:04 AM Flag

NP: yowza, op, that was a totally innocuous post. For most students, it wouldn't make sense NOT to take the year off; obviously it's different in your particular situation. OR was just curious. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.24.12, 10:50 AM Flag

NP- did you (or the other poster) miss the part where she said "not looking for people judging .... or advice like take the semester off which is not possible...i cannot take the year off" ? she was asking for practical suggestions, based on a decision she already made. "if you have the $ to hire staff" sounds pretty snide to me. IDK though. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.24.12, 10:53 AM Flag

OP- thanks. yea. my thoughts exactly :). I specifically asked for ppl to not post their opinions. start another thread criticizing me (as was done in the past when I initially posed the question- can going back to school a few wks postpartum be done). dont pollute my thread with your opinions, I dont care! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.24.12, 12:22 PM Flag

PP: fair enough! It's so hard to read tone on the internet. Good luck to you, OP. DH is just finishing residency, so I can definitely understand where you're coming from. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.24.12, 12:53 PM Flag

Make sure nanny is OK doing a bit more work than normal during the day( if she is in fact doing so), so I would discuss expectations (and higher pay) with her. cook a bunch of meals in advance, try not to have a c-section, and put a bunch of things on amazon for fast delivery so you dont waste any time shopping for housekeeping items. I think that's it! GL [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.24.12, 09:02 AM Flag

^^oh and try and see if you can get a weekend nanny. i found that after I went back to work but DB was still waking thru the night at 3-4 months old, I was BEAT on saturdays/sundays. All I needed was a 4-hr nap in the morning, and it was great when I could get some help at home then. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.24.12, 09:08 AM Flag

np: if OP's parents are around to help (which she said they were), this is something they could do. take the baby for a few hours so OP can sleep while DH entertains older dc. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.24.12, 10:28 AM Flag

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General Topics 07.24.12, 09:02 AM Flag

Buy a freezer and make a year's worth of dinners in advance. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.24.12, 09:10 AM Flag

hire a housekeeper that can cook well [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.24.12, 12:54 PM Flag

a postpartum doula could help too [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.24.12, 10:20 AM Flag

hi- OP here- how is this different than a nurse? and what would she do? thanks alot! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.24.12, 10:34 AM Flag

It sounds like you have a good set up. The biggest thing I can think of (outside of what you've mentioned) is maybe hiring a professional to help thoroughly organize the house? Depends on your means and needs but my sister did this before having her twins (db #3, and #4) and it was a HUGE help. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.24.12, 10:40 AM Flag

does your nanny work weekends? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.24.12, 03:22 PM Flag

[ - ] So we have our 2.5 year old son in a bedroom that has extra space. We have a small 3rd bedroom / study and are expecting another boy this fall. Would people move the boys in together (after a few months), or use the 3rd room for the new kid? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 07.22.12, 07:15 PM Flag

boys together once the baby is sleeping through the night. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.22.12, 07:17 PM Flag

OP - thanks for the swift reply. That's my gut also, but what are your key reasons - am curious . . [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.22.12, 07:18 PM Flag

I think sharing a room is nice for kids. And then you or dh have a place to go to close the door in addition to the bedroom and living room. Better for the parents and better for the kids, imo. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.22.12, 07:21 PM Flag

Thanks. Tend to agree. And we will still have a place for guests (grandparents) to stay, which is nice. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.22.12, 07:25 PM Flag

probably keep them together - unless you can put study/desk area in another area of your apartment [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.22.12, 07:20 PM Flag

We have 2 DDs in a room and they love it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.22.12, 07:34 PM Flag

we had a 3 bedroom and put the boys in separate rooms. i just couldnt get over the wakeups. in the summers, tehy sleep together, but i like them being separate during the school year. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.23.12, 06:10 AM Flag

[ - ] Any suggestions for maternity 'active wear' that is actually meant for working out? Looking for shorts in particular. Thanks! 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 07.12.12, 11:11 AM Flag

Beauty of active wear is that it's all stretchy. I just wore regular workout wear throughout. The pants all stretch and for tops, go to Destination Maternity and buy tanks. You don't need maternity activewear. Waste of money to even look. Especially since you're only really big for maybe 3 months tops. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.12.12, 11:44 AM Flag

[ - ] Are those baby teethers made from cornstarch healthy? They seem better to me than plastic, but my mom is worried about DB eating cornstarch. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 07.09.12, 10:49 AM Flag

he's probably going to be hitting some blow someday so not a big whoop. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.12, 10:50 AM Flag

greeeeat [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.12, 11:06 AM Flag

hahaha good one [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.12, 11:23 AM Flag

get a silicone one [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.12, 10:53 AM Flag

why is that better? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.12, 11:06 AM Flag

[ - ] New to NYC, holistically minded natural foods chef. Searching for an Ob or Midwife affiliated with NYU who will support my desires for a natural pregnancy and birth. NYU is best for a variety of logistical reasons. Dr. must take insurance. Early in my pregnancy so I'd like to find a doc asap. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More

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Expecting 07.08.12, 10:38 AM Flag

Good luck! Watch out, I went with a practice that supposedly supported natural birth--and my OB genuinely does--but it turned out that not all of the doctors genuinely were supportive. The dr on call when I went into labor wanted nothing to do with the birthing center I was supposed to use. She thought it was a major pain to have patients there. My best advice is to use a practice where ALL the doctors are good. Because you could end up with any of them. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.08.12, 10:43 AM Flag

nyu is not the best if you want a low-to-no intrrvention birth. St. Lukes Roosevelt is the best option. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.08.12, 10:45 AM Flag

NP: You can look up the c-section rates and other useful facts by hospital on this website. Click on "view intervention rates" on the lower left. It looks like c-section rates are actually about the same at NYU and SLR (though if you use the birthing center at SLR--and many people get risked out, so don't have the option--I'm sure the c-section rate would be lower). http://thebirthsurvey.org/AboutProject.html [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.08.12, 10:52 AM Flag

or: I was thinking about the birthing center at SLR. My experience with birthing centers is that you only get transferred if there is a medical issue, and if there is a medical issue, do what the doctors say. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.08.12, 10:59 AM Flag

No, it's not like that there. There are a number of things that can automatically get you disqualified (your age, your weight gain, if you are a couple days late, if your dr has other patients on the regular floor and doesn't want to go back and forth, if there aren't enough patients to open the center, or if the center is filled). There is a class that you can take (an hour or so) to find out about their regulations. It's not like an independent birthing center. That said, if you make it through all of their requirements it can be a great place! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.08.12, 11:51 AM Flag

^^I gave birth there, but the vast majority of my friends who tried to use the birthing center didn't actually get to make it inside. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.08.12, 11:52 AM Flag

I have also heard that this is the case - while you may want to and intend on delivering in the birthing center, a majority end up on the OB floor for various reasons. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.08.12, 12:44 PM Flag

If you look at "interventions" besides c-sections, they're actually really low. The fact that they have a lot of high-risk mothers skews their c-section rate. I found the nurses there (and that's what's important, really) to be very supportive of natural childbirth. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.08.12, 11:44 AM Flag

at nyu? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.08.12, 11:53 AM Flag

NP: Really? An epidural is a medical intervention. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.08.12, 11:56 AM Flag

have a homebirth, its much better, I've had both [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.08.12, 01:36 PM Flag

it's much better if you have no complications and don't mind risking a dead/vegetable baby/mom. yay natural death! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.08.12, 05:04 PM Flag