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Expecting
04.11.13, 02:22 PM
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I have experience with both MT. SINAI and NYU and SIAI is so so so much better than NYU
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General Topics
04.11.13, 02:32 PM
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Thank you so much :) I would say my experience with NYU was good but something about the nurses I didnt like, and the lady next to me had about 15 needles from the IV connected to her and all I heard all night was Nurse, nurse! then she had about 10 people visiting after hours, and was being nosy. Thank you I will stick with MS
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04.11.13, 02:49 PM
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No way. You had to share a room? For delivery? Wow.
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04.11.13, 03:01 PM
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No, no not for the labor but for recovery. I didnt have a private room for the recovery part.
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General Topics
04.11.13, 03:10 PM
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NP NYU's nurses had zero bedside skills, stick with Mt. Sinai.
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General Topics
04.11.13, 03:13 PM
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Yeah they didnt. THey wake you up abruptly at 3 AM to poke you in the hand. I think the whole time I was there, there was one nurse there. Then my son had gotten circumsized, and I got a little teary eyed. I wasnt flipping out or anything, just got teary eyed because he was crying. Then she insinuated I need counselling for post pardum depression.
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General Topics
04.11.13, 03:29 PM
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COrrection: One nurse there I liked
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04.11.13, 03:30 PM
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I had 2 dbs at Sinai with Chen/Barbieri. Sinai was fine for L&D and incredible when my 2nd dc had to spend some time in the NICU (he's fine). IMO your doctors are the most important thing and I highly recommend that practice.
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04.11.13, 02:33 PM
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They set me up with Chen for 1st Appt because Barbieri is a month wait. The girl said that I would be seeing all of the OB anyways at some point. Thank you, I just wanted to make sure I have a good practice.
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04.11.13, 02:50 PM
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Expecting
04.04.13, 07:04 PM
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you don't "have to" do anything. you can tell people whenever you want, or let them think you are bloated. get over yourself.
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General Topics
04.04.13, 07:12 PM
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I told people I had some stomach issues that were causing me to look a bit bloated. Free pass to not eat, throw up and did what I wanted. Ate crackes and ginger soda in front of everyone. done
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General Topics
04.04.13, 07:20 PM
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then they all think you are a weird liar when you tell them you're pregnant?
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General Topics
04.04.13, 07:28 PM
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Expecting
04.04.13, 04:53 AM
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Nursing is really hard at the beginning. You pretty much have to be a slave to the baby's needs for several weeks to regulate your supply. I've nursed all 3 of my kids, and while they may seem like they're not getting enough, it's just because a) they're going through a growth spurt and your supply needs to adjust or b) they're pissed because you have slower let-down and they want it NOW. I really enjoy breastfeeding because I get to be a lazy ass and never wash bottles.
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General Topics
04.04.13, 04:57 AM
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Yes, going through exactly the same now. Had a miserable time with DD 1 and do not want to go through that again.
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04.04.13, 06:30 AM
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Nursing hurts and just when you think you've got it you get thrush.
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04.04.13, 06:40 AM
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I had only 50% with db1 -- endless pumping, supplementing and washing despite taking domperidone for 10 months. With db2 I had more milk but only breastfeeding for half that time. Just brought home db3 and I've got more milk than before but still not a full supply. I'm going to try again only because my other kids are still getting sick with random illnesses.
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04.04.13, 10:56 AM
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Same for me and DB#1! Stopped after 6 weeks as well. Nursing was much easier with DB#2, so I'm glad I at least tried.
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04.04.13, 02:42 PM
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Expecting
03.22.13, 02:42 PM
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Dr Lois Brustman the OB?
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03.22.13, 03:09 PM
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yes
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03.22.13, 04:13 PM
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Dr Brustman was my OB but I haven't worked along side her as a doctor.
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03.22.13, 04:42 PM
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I'm sorry: I meant did you like her as an ob? We are thinking of using Gae Rodke to deliver and Brustman to do high risk consult.
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03.22.13, 11:01 PM
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Yes I loved her as my OB. I didn't really love delivering at St Lukes but she was lovely all the way through my high risk pregnancy. Very approachable and reassuring. Her support staff are great too.
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03.23.13, 01:09 AM
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... don't have experience with Gae Rodke (I should add)
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03.23.13, 01:13 AM
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Can you say more about your SLR experience? I am a little worried that Brustman is only in the office to see patients 2-4 days/month, too. Did you find her accessible?
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03.23.13, 09:49 PM
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If you're still watching this. She was in the office a lot more when I used her but it was difficult to get an appointment and I always had a very long wait for check ups and sonograms. Well over an hour, some times 2 most visits which became hard as I need to be seen 2-3 times a week towards the end of the pregnancy. But the support staff handled most of the trivial stuff well and on the occasion I really needed her (after a routine sonogram produced something very scary) she called me immediately on Friday night and made room to see me at 9am Monday morning. When I went to give birth, she was great but the SLR postnatal nurses were not great, they couldn't care less. However, the NICU nurses were golden should you likely need them.
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03.24.13, 07:30 PM
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I'm still watching! Thanks so much for responding more fully. That's great news about the nicu nurses--I am deciding between Sinai (or a larger teaching hospital) where I haven't yet found a dr I love and Roosevelt where I really like Brustman and Rodke. May I ask if you also used a doula? The wait time in the office sounds like a drag. I was worried about getting test results back if she is not in the office, but I think she is still in the hospital on those days...
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03.25.13, 02:14 AM
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I didn't use a doula. I was very high risk and just wanted a good OB. I don't think you'll have trouble with test results. The support staff always handled that sort of thing well and on the occasion when some of my tests came back irregular it was Dr Brustman who always called to explain and discuss what she thought was the best next step. In general I really liked her and a few of the other OBs at SLR who covered for her from time to time. I just didn't like the hospital operationally. I wish she delivered elsewhere as I'm considering getting pregnant again but I'm not keen on going back to SLR.
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03.25.13, 03:07 AM
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Thank you, again. I'm really relying on hearing about experiences from patients. I have heard this a lot from people who say they don't want to deliver again at SLR. I just like my doctors so much and don't want to be thrown into one of these big practices at Sinai where you meet 9 doctors and don't know who will be delivering. You're the first person I've heard from who who had a high-risk preg and delivered at SLR, so I'm esp interested in your experience. Did you do all of your testing at SLR, NT test, etc?
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03.25.13, 05:20 PM
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Yes I did everything at SLR and always felt like I was in good hands with everything from sonograms, stress tests, to routine tests. All the pre natal staff were so friendly and you really felt like you could ask them anything. I saw them so much we became very friendly towards the end. I would bring in doughnuts I was there so much. :)
But I got very frustrated with how the hospital was run. Hard to schedule appointments, long waits at your appointments, no apparent system in place, I even waited 3 hours in the waiting room when I went in for a scheduled induction. We had 2 days in the NICU and the staff there were so wonderful it made me tearful but when we were moved out of there the post natal staff were rude and impatient. Rolling their eyes when I asked for help, I felt like they just wanted me out of there and I left as quickly as possible.
My biggest piece of advice if you choose SLR is to book all your check ups, sonograms etc months in advance when you start so you don’t struggle to schedule the stuff you need. And bring snacks to your appointments. There’s a long wait which may be a big factor if you work as you may find yourself spending way longer than you expect there.
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03.25.13, 06:15 PM
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Expecting
03.22.13, 02:32 AM
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i love premier peds. my kids going for years. all docs very good.
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03.22.13, 02:43 AM
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I love Tribeca Peds but I AM crunchy. I admit it! I also go to the Tribeca location because even though I live in Chelsea, I can get the express 2,3 from 14th St directly to the Warren St location, but to get to Chelsea I would have to walk or take a cab.
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03.22.13, 02:53 AM
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How is TriBeCa peds crunchy when they advocate CIO at 8wks?
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03.22.13, 02:59 AM
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I go there, and they never advocated any crying. I said I was opposed to CIO and the subject never came up again. I think some of the zeal is urban myth.
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03.22.13, 03:12 AM
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Same! I asked Dr. Cohen and he said he tells people this if they come in and look exhausted and complain about lack of sleep and ask for help. I went in and explained that we were co-sleeping so I could nurse and go right back to sleep. It wasn't an issue for me so we never discussed it again.
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03.22.13, 03:15 AM
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They are laissez faire.
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03.22.13, 03:12 AM
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just because they advocate it does not mean you have to follow them. I told him, no, I wasn't interested in CIO, and I kept babies in bed with me. He said, that is fine, you will not sleep as much yourself and it will be hard to get the kids out of your bed. All true. But the younger is almost 5 now and they go to bed in their own room and only on occasion do they come to our room. And on the crunchy side, he rarely prescribes meds. I only go to the office 1x/yr for each kid because mostly he says to wait for the kid to heal on his/her own--I mean coughs, colds, nothing big. So we do not get too nervous when our kids are sick. Sometimes we call to see if something similar is going around and what the pattern is, and length of illness. But that's about it! I am very happy with mostly non-interventionist strategy to my kids' health. They have never had antibiotics other than topical bacitracin or neosporin for cuts!
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03.22.13, 03:15 AM
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Don't know about Premier Ped but what I really like about Tribeca is that it has multiple locations and one of them is always open. We live in Brooklyn but have come into the actual Tribeca location on a Sunday before when dc was really sick. It's nice to have that option.
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03.22.13, 03:08 AM
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Expecting
03.13.13, 05:26 PM
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This is what I did.
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03.13.13, 05:27 PM
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This is what I did.
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03.13.13, 05:28 PM
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get the MaterniT21 test and skip the "usual genetic screening" tests. MaterniT21 should be the new gold standard
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General Topics
03.13.13, 05:28 PM
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yes +1
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03.13.13, 05:27 PM
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OP: I had never heard of that - thank you! Although, I see it is only available to high risk people? I'm not sure I'd qualify?
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03.13.13, 05:32 PM
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it's not only for high risk.
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03.13.13, 05:38 PM
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It's available to you if your advanced maternal age, so depends on when you're going to turn 35.
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03.13.13, 05:34 PM
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OP: I'll turn 35 at the end of January - baby is due at the end of October...so I say pretty close!
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03.13.13, 05:42 PM
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I got it at 30 yo with low risk - speak to materniti21 directly, they limit your expenses to $350 or therabouts even if insurance doesn't cover
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03.13.13, 05:40 PM
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Op: Awesome - thank you so much for this information!
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General Topics
03.13.13, 05:46 PM
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MaterniT21 is not definitive, it is still just a screening.
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03.13.13, 05:30 PM
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right, it's only 99 percent accurate for down syndrome, so adjust your expectations accordingly.
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03.13.13, 05:38 PM
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But panorama is 100% accurate.
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03.13.13, 05:36 PM
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no, it's greater than 99 percent -- same as materniT21
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03.13.13, 06:04 PM
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^^^ something like 99.4 vs 99.92
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03.13.13, 06:09 PM
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officially screening, but it looks pretty good when you check the stats on it.
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03.13.13, 05:34 PM
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I think that is a good plan. I am older and that's exactly what I did. NT scan then depending on results CVS or Amnio. You are young so odds are on your side but I know I would need the diagnostic test to rule anything out. NT is just a screening.
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03.13.13, 05:29 PM
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OP: Yes, I'm hoping is the tests come back like they did with my DS, then a CVS would be pointless. Just tossing the Nuchal in there because I know I'll need to decide soon and figured it made more sense this time around. I'd hate to get the CVS unless there was a real reason.
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03.13.13, 05:30 PM
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I had amnio after a very good NT scan, which basically said it's extremely unlikely to have problems. But I still chose to do amnio to be 100% sure, my OB also recommended it, because nuchal is not 100% guaranteed, while amnio is.
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03.13.13, 06:40 PM
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i went straight to amnio
but i dont think cvs was in wide use yet (9 yrs ago)
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03.13.13, 05:27 PM
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i went straight to amnio last summer (age 35). I wanted to KNOW, so screening would have been a waste.
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03.13.13, 05:49 PM
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yes
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03.13.13, 05:35 PM
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Will you be 35 at the birth? If so, you'll be offered a lot more testing than you would be if you'll only be 34. I just turned 35 and am 10 weeks pregnant with our fourth. Never had much testing before. But I've been offered Panorama (same as Materni21 but apparently 100% accurate as opposed to 99% accurate), and I'll do that at 11 weeks. I don't plan to do CVS or amnio.
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03.13.13, 05:33 PM
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OP: I'll be shy of 35 by less than 3 months. I wonder if I can make a case...Thanks!
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03.13.13, 05:35 PM
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I did amnio both times but I really am a worrier.
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03.13.13, 05:36 PM
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you can do CVS as early as nuchal so if you're going to do cvs, then just do it. otherwise, you can do nuchal and then if results are borderline, amnio.
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03.13.13, 05:42 PM
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OP: So, it wouldn't be possible to do Nuchal, then if the results aren't great, the CVS? I'm honestly trying to avoid anything invasive...within reason. I was hoping there would be enough time.
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03.13.13, 05:44 PM
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You can do CVS up to 13.5 weeks, so it depends when your nuchal is scheduled for.
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03.13.13, 05:52 PM
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np - i think with amnio there's almost no rusk of loss that would not have happened anyway, but some small risk truly exists with cvs. check with doc.
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03.13.13, 05:50 PM
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OP: I know it's just....I'd want to have the information before things go any farther, if that makes sense? So, I'd only do the CVS is there is true reason. But it sounds like I could get one of the newer blood screens and that may even be enough. I see my OB tomorrow so hopefully there is enough time for everything.
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03.13.13, 05:56 PM
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My understanding is the blood tests only test for DS, trisomy, 13, and trisomy 18. CVS tests for much more. There are thousands of potential chromosonal issues.
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03.13.13, 06:09 PM
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I think amnio tests for even more. I would just do nuchal and then amnio and skip CVS. Then at 20 weeks you also do anatomical scan for any organ abnormalities that cannot be captured with genetic test.
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03.13.13, 06:47 PM
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I would do cvs. I am planning on it for my third. Not sure why (DH will try to talk me out of it) but that's just me.
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03.13.13, 05:49 PM
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i was u. i turned 35 during my pregnancy. i did the quad screen and had great odds so i did not do cvs.
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03.13.13, 06:00 PM
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I didn't do anything more than normal US with both of my DC. My DH and I were willing to accept whatever God gave us, and love the baby just the same.
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03.13.13, 06:03 PM
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I think it's a fair question to OP. If she is firm about terminating in case of any abnormalities, then testing is very important for her, but if she will carry to term no matter what, then regular screening like nuchal will be more than enough, no need for any invasive tests and no need to spend extra money for any fancy blood tests either.
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03.13.13, 06:47 PM
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I was 35 when I was pg with #1 and I had nuchal and amnio. I also did genetic screening for DH, because I am a carrier of a recessive genetic disease. The basic genetic testing was done for me as a default.
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03.13.13, 06:42 PM
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Did amnio the first time when I was 38. The second time (40) the blood test result put the possibility of down at the lowest possible. So I didn't do any further test.
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03.13.13, 10:30 PM
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OB here: seriously op, there is some much bad information on this thread I don't know where to start. But, it sounds like you've done your homework. At this point, ask your ob.
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03.13.13, 10:43 PM
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OP: Thanks - I certainly will be. But as I suspected, there are new tests out there since 2009, and I am more concerned. I basically want to know if the odds are (largely) in my favor for a healthy child as early as possible without invasive tests unless warranted. I'm not interested in CVS if I have results that say 1000:1 chance or whatever, you know?
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03.14.13, 01:16 PM
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Expecting
03.10.13, 09:29 PM
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congrats!
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03.10.13, 09:32 PM
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Thank you...
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03.10.13, 09:41 PM
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I started showing at 14 - I bet people have an idea
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03.10.13, 09:37 PM
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it's the boobs! they all know.
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03.10.13, 09:39 PM
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OP but I am a busty girl...however, my SIL just posted a pic of us on Facebook and I definitely look pregnant.
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03.10.13, 09:42 PM
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congrats. I didn't tell anyone until around that time as well and am 26 weeks now. We just wanted to wait. That ho Kim K and Princess Kate both announced around the same time as I did...
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03.10.13, 09:35 PM
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lol
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03.10.13, 09:39 PM
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Just take your time. You will have less annoying WHENS THE BABY HERE questions because it will go by faster LOL
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03.10.13, 09:38 PM
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Oh I know, I've had a loss in the past (which hardly anyone knows about) and 1 healthy DC. I have some friends who announced VERY early and it seemed like they were pregnant forever.
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03.10.13, 09:43 PM
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Better to wait. Friends of ours told everyone at 12 weeks and ended up losing the baby. Felt so bad for them.
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03.10.13, 11:01 PM
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Expecting
03.06.13, 11:31 PM
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Unless you are on HcG, there is no false positives in pregnancy tests.
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03.06.13, 11:33 PM
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THIS
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03.06.13, 11:38 PM
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Could be a chemical pregnancy.
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03.06.13, 11:40 PM
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+1
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03.06.13, 11:44 PM
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That's progestin only. Have you been taking it at the same time every day?
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03.06.13, 11:33 PM
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Progestin only pills really need to be taken at the same time every day, there's no wiggle room like with estrogen bcps
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03.06.13, 11:34 PM
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99% of the time I take it at the same time. Maybe an hour or 2 later MAX
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03.06.13, 11:39 PM
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you're pregnant! congratulations!
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03.06.13, 11:33 PM
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the digital ones are the most accurate
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03.06.13, 11:39 PM
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This is actually not true.
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03.06.13, 11:40 PM
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Why did you test btw?
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03.06.13, 11:40 PM
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Sorry if you don't want to be pregnant.
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03.06.13, 11:42 PM
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Already have a 3 year old - wasnt ready yet.
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03.07.13, 12:56 AM
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preggo!
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03.06.13, 11:48 PM
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Congratulations?
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03.07.13, 12:43 AM
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I guess I am happy. I wanted to try in 6 months. I just cant believe at my age and being on the pill that this happened. I've read a lot online that this particular test has a lot of false positives.
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03.07.13, 03:07 PM
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I guess I am happy. I wanted to try in 6 months. I just cant believe at my age and being on the pill that this happened. I've read a lot online that this particular test has a lot of false positives.
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03.07.13, 03:07 PM
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Expecting
03.04.13, 11:11 PM
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one of the reasons women have a harder time getting ahead.
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03.04.13, 11:09 PM
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You've never seen a guy go home sick? Or worse, come in sick, accomplish nothing but spreading germs all over the place.
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03.04.13, 11:21 PM
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but he knows it's because she's pregnant or he perceives it so.
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03.04.13, 11:22 PM
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OP - he asked me if it was being pregnant or another illness. I basically said I had no idea, other than I didn't feel well. I don't think it should matter why I was feeling sick.
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03.04.13, 11:40 PM
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who cares - you know what is most important - live your life, do the best you can for you and your family - hope you feel better soon!
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03.04.13, 11:15 PM
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This.
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03.04.13, 11:23 PM
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OP, thank you.
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03.04.13, 11:41 PM
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Expecting
03.02.13, 01:53 AM
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Frederick, Malcolm, Wesley, Douglas
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03.02.13, 01:51 AM
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Jim Bob
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03.02.13, 01:54 AM
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Heinous.
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03.02.13, 02:00 AM
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No Anders, no. I like Rocco.
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03.02.13, 01:58 AM
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Why the Anders hatred?
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03.02.13, 02:04 AM
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Because it's awful. Sorry.
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03.02.13, 02:09 AM
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And Rocco's not?
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03.02.13, 02:19 AM
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Anders is a traditional Scandinavian name. Rocco signals Italy, and reminds me of Rocky, I.e.Sylvester Stallone.
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03.02.13, 02:24 AM
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Rocco's pretty bad. Sorry.
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03.02.13, 02:25 AM
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Calvin
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03.02.13, 01:58 AM
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Jax, Dane, Wyllie, Owen
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03.02.13, 01:59 AM
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Sullivan
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03.02.13, 02:00 AM
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August or Axel
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03.02.13, 01:57 AM
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axel is a badass name and not only because of axel rose
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03.02.13, 02:03 AM
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hans?
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03.02.13, 02:01 AM
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If you're gonna go for Hans, it has to be Han Solo.
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03.02.13, 02:07 AM
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I like Anders. DS has one in his class, cute kid and cute name. :)
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03.02.13, 02:12 AM
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Is Rhys a boy or girl?
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03.02.13, 02:18 AM
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Rhys is a boy.
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03.02.13, 02:22 AM
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Jackson?
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03.02.13, 02:15 AM
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Way too popular, I think.
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03.02.13, 02:22 AM
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Way too popular, I think.
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03.02.13, 02:19 AM
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Way too popular, I think.
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03.02.13, 02:19 AM
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Milo and Otis were famous barnyard animals; remember the film?
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03.02.13, 02:20 AM
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I do. I don't know if it would be pertinent to our kids' generation.
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03.02.13, 02:19 AM
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It was a cat and a dog.
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03.02.13, 01:16 PM
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I don't like Rhys. I always think Rhys monkeys. If you like the name, perhaps Reese.
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03.02.13, 02:20 AM
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He's already 3 years old. Sorry.
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03.02.13, 02:26 AM
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What is your family's ethnicity? So far, you've chosen a Germanic nn for Adelheid (Heidi) and a Welsh name (Rhys). Anders is Scandinavian. Are you Jewish?
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03.02.13, 02:26 AM
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My husband's family is English, and mine is Welsh/Austrian. We're not Jewish in the least.
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03.02.13, 02:29 AM
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What does being Jewish have to do with it?
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03.02.13, 03:08 AM
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Was wondering the same thing myself..
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03.02.13, 03:50 AM
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Adal, Bing, Clovis, Darek, Ely, Fritz, Gottfried, Henry, Ingel, Jay, Koen, Lewy, Markos, Neff, Otis, Pepin, Quincy, Rollan, Sigfrid, Tedrick, Uli, Von, Wilbur, Xiomar, Yabel, Zelig
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03.02.13, 02:29 AM
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BING. Or Gethin.
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03.02.13, 02:42 AM
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Alphabet Mom does it again!
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03.02.13, 03:43 AM
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really don't understand the love for Milo on this board.
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03.02.13, 02:42 AM
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+1. It reminds me of a sketchy guy named Miles that everyone calls Milo.
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03.02.13, 03:07 AM
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I like it
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03.02.13, 03:43 AM
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piers, Camilla, Stephan, liesl
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03.02.13, 03:42 AM
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Eh?
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03.02.13, 03:50 AM
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Love Anders. Great name!
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03.02.13, 05:14 AM
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Expecting
02.24.13, 08:42 PM
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And here we go!
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02.24.13, 08:42 PM
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if you can afford it stay home. i never regretted it. Best memories of my life.
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02.24.13, 08:44 PM
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+1
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02.24.13, 08:45 PM
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+1
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02.24.13, 09:09 PM
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I've been both, would just advise waiting until you have DB to decide. Congrats!
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02.24.13, 08:40 PM
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Stay at home and parent your child. Go to work only if you have to.
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02.24.13, 08:40 PM
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Uch, seriously?
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02.24.13, 08:41 PM
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Yes seriously! Why have kids & let undocumented worker raise them
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02.24.13, 08:47 PM
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Oh shut up.
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02.24.13, 08:48 PM
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Not everyone has an undocumented nanny. Working parents are still parenting their children. Would you say your DH doesn't parent your DC because he works? Stop with this, it's so foolish and antiquated.
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02.24.13, 08:49 PM
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^ That was not me, but I did write the first comment. I am a nanny for a family who have no choice but to work and while they spend as much time with DC as they can at the weekend - I am that child's primary carer and I am the person dc called mama as a toddler. DC knows now that I am not mom, but make no mistake that DC punishes mom for not being there. I don't say this to be judgmental - plenty of women on here have to work. I'm saying nothing will compare to mom to your db & if you don't have to work - I would not.
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02.24.13, 08:51 PM
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Oh please. My DCs have always known who mama is. You can't paint all working moms with the same brush based on your experience with one family.
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02.24.13, 08:53 PM
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+1. Also, yes you do sound super judgmental. Do you have DCs of your own?
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02.24.13, 08:58 PM
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My dc was more attached to his caregiver :(
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02.24.13, 09:10 PM
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Most little kids are, IMO.
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02.24.13, 10:00 PM
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ITD.
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02.24.13, 09:58 PM
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You don't sound qualified to be a nanny and you're certainly not a parent.
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02.24.13, 09:31 PM
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What do you have against undocumented workers?
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02.24.13, 09:31 PM
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they are criminals
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02.24.13, 10:57 PM
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don't finalize anything before DC is born. leave as many options as you can open. try working part time and then see how it goes.
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02.24.13, 08:45 PM
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+10000
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02.24.13, 08:54 PM
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I decided to sah as childcare would have taken most of my salary and I wanted to be home for the first yr or so. A great part-time gig fell into my lap when db was 8 mons and I've been part-time ever since - 12 yrs. Best of both worlds. DH has health insur. I get a higher consulting rate. Perfect.
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02.24.13, 08:42 PM
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Part-time is best.
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02.24.13, 08:48 PM
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SAH now, go PT later.
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02.24.13, 08:45 PM
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Easier said than done. Just know if you decide to SAH you are very unlikely to re-enter the workforce when you want to at the level and pay at which you left. No, nothing is impossible, but just know someone at your job right now is waiting for your maternity leave so they can take your job.
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02.24.13, 08:50 PM
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ITA.
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02.24.13, 08:56 PM
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Work will always be around, babies grow so fast!
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02.24.13, 09:11 PM
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Says the SAHM
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02.24.13, 09:13 PM
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Of course I'm a SAHM. I was a WOHM and now I am home. Like I said a job will always be there. My "baby" is now 5
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02.24.13, 09:24 PM
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^^ have younger dc's as well
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02.24.13, 09:22 PM
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This is the biggest UB myth going.
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02.24.13, 09:33 PM
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I think both are hard in different ways. WOHM is more work overall, but SAHM is hard in the sense that it's isolating and draining. I chose to SAH and don't regret it, but I didn't love my job, so it wasn't hard to quit
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02.24.13, 08:49 PM
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It depends on your personality. I have friends who practically are ADD. They can't stay at home.
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02.24.13, 08:51 PM
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I did both. Stayed home 6 months, went back to work for 7 months more (part time), then was home for another year after that. You won't really know until you try it. Working part time can be really hard depending on your job. I found that it was as much stress as full time with less money much more to juggle. Ultimately I started my own business and that has been working for me. Gives me flexibility while getting me some $ and time with the kids.
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02.24.13, 08:50 PM
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Is part-time a feasible option in your field?
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02.24.13, 08:57 PM
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So many factors are involved: your temperament, savings goals, mortgage, loans, etc.
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02.24.13, 08:57 PM
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Curious as to where all of these part-time gigs are to be found?
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02.24.13, 08:58 PM
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LOL right? Let me know when you find the secret stash!
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02.24.13, 08:59 PM
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It's easier to transition to PT if you already have a FT job. I rarely hear anyone got a PT job after being unemployed.
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02.24.13, 08:57 PM
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It doesn't sound like your career is your calling. Just give it up and SAH, it might be more fun for you.
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02.24.13, 08:55 PM
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How much does DH earn?
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02.24.13, 08:59 PM
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If you can stay home financially do it. I worked for 1 year, I'm now home. PT jobs are not very easy to come by.
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02.24.13, 09:09 PM
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^^ pt is also not worth giving up all free time for little $$
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02.24.13, 09:12 PM
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I went back to work full time 4 days a week, BUT ...I already was firmly in a great job of many years under my belt, and successful. Cannot imagine trying to start a new job. No way. It all depends on your hood...if you have lots of great mom friends with babies same age to hang with, you will be happy as a clam.
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02.24.13, 09:28 PM
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It all depends on your personality, finances, and preference.
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02.24.13, 09:26 PM
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I never thought I could stay home. I am entering the fifth year (two DC) and enjoying it. It is isolating initially, partly because we moved to NYC from other places before first DC. Now I can't image working and coming home to take care of two children. I took up some new hobbies too. If financially you can afford it, I would say you at least can try. Of course, you have to be willing to give up your career, at least for a while.
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02.24.13, 09:27 PM
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Did part time.
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02.24.13, 09:31 PM
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Can you take the first year off and then return to work if you so desire? If so, I think this is the best option. No matter how supportive a husband is, that first year is completely draining if you return to work just a couple months after giving birth.
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02.24.13, 09:39 PM
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Expecting
02.06.13, 06:46 PM
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Sorry for double post!
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02.06.13, 06:47 PM
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I tried to pitch that softly when I came back from my 12wks but it didn't go over terribly well. So I wound up taking random friday's off with vacation days so it made my weeks feel shorter. I think the longer you're fully gone out of the office the worse it looks. But really depends on how family friendly of an industry. For example I'm in finance and would not be pitching the extra 3 wks off if returning in November which is nearing bonus season.
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02.06.13, 06:51 PM
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How about requesting in advance? It's a busy next few months and I probably won't be able to use my PTO before the leave.
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02.06.13, 06:55 PM
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I also think that's hard in advance because they might be worrying you won't come back after the extended time. It shouldn't be this way but I think it is. Again, depends on how family friendly your co is and what your specific role is. What about planning 1wk off in Dec instead? And then take random days too?
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02.06.13, 06:57 PM
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Based on track record, I returned to former job after first DB was born!
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02.06.13, 07:18 PM
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According to another post, you are not worthy of working in your company. As you will be a mother now, everyone else will be doing your work, therefore do not expect to take more than 12 weeks. In fact, some women employers would prefer you not take ML at all.
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02.06.13, 06:55 PM
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Who will do your work for you? If you expect others to do your work, how are you are not excess overhead?
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02.06.13, 06:56 PM
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np: In case you were not aware, by law she has 12 weeks- depending on company size.
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02.06.13, 07:03 PM
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She has 12 weeks UNPAID by law. Vacation etc is at discretion of managment.
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02.06.13, 07:14 PM
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OP here, I will have unused vacation days. Not asking for anything extra, above or beyond!
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02.06.13, 07:18 PM
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yes, I saved all my vacation time when DB was born. Took 12 weeks, then 1 day a week to use up saved vacation for the next 2 months. Not sure how it works if you take it in weeks, but this enabled me to come back 4 days a week...boss approved
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02.06.13, 07:03 PM
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FMLA is clear that employers dont have to accept that. You cant save vacation and attach it to FMLA 12 week leave. You are free to use it at scheduled intervals after.
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02.06.13, 07:06 PM
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Problem is maternity leave ends in December so not much time to use after.
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02.06.13, 07:18 PM
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you need to be back 1 day and then can take rest of vacation
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02.06.13, 09:02 PM
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Expecting
02.06.13, 02:46 AM
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Hugo Edward Ryan or Hugo Thomas Ryan sounds nice. I like Felix as well, but don't think it works as well as Hugo with an Irish ln.
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02.06.13, 02:50 AM
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I agree. I personally like Hugo Thomas best (not crazy about the name Edward). Hugo is a great name - and not too popular here in the states.
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02.06.13, 02:55 AM
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+1 for Hugo Thomas.
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02.06.13, 03:17 AM
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So, Mrs. Ryan, if it's your first post how did you know to ask preemptively for niceness?
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02.06.13, 02:47 AM
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ha!! i didn't do that till post #5 or so... learned the hard way!!
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02.06.13, 02:49 AM
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OP - I figured it was better to start off that way :) And Mrs. Ryan, I do not know who you speak of...
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02.06.13, 02:54 AM
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of whom you speak.
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02.06.13, 03:17 AM
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OP - or that :) Pregnancy grammar brain.
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02.06.13, 03:25 AM
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I would go with Thomas or Edward over any of those four to be honest.
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02.06.13, 02:52 AM
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Tomas or Eduardo?
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02.06.13, 02:55 AM
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OP - I live somewhere where Tomas would just become Tom and Eduardo would be Ed, don't want that.
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02.06.13, 02:58 AM
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Fav Spanish name: Lorenzo
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02.06.13, 03:01 AM
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you sound like dickhead would fit nicely into your family
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02.06.13, 03:06 AM
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Love Hugo. Cameron is used for girls too much now.
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02.06.13, 03:11 AM
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Felix!!! like the others too except Cameron.
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02.06.13, 03:14 AM
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Your child will be the male version of Soledad O'Brien.
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02.06.13, 03:15 AM
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OP - I know, I am hoping to avoid that, hence why I have eliminated many of the more traditional spanish names. But doesn't have to be spanish, would just prefer that if possible. Never thought this would be so hard!
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02.06.13, 03:23 AM
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OP - Any opinions on Elliot? Seems like Hugo is front runner on here so - this is very helpful!
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02.06.13, 03:23 AM
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just so you know, Hugo isn't actually a Spanish name. It is Germanic.
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02.06.13, 03:29 AM
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OP - I know, same with Felix, but it works in Spanish as well.
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02.06.13, 03:34 AM
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Felix=latin word meaning happy
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02.06.13, 06:17 AM
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Cameron
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02.06.13, 03:40 AM
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Definitely yes on Felix. A big no to Cameron.
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02.06.13, 03:46 AM
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