WWYD: We live in a suburb with fairly large houses (avg house is about 3000 sqft). I found a 1600 sqft house with 3 bedrooms. It is nice and we can made do with it (1 DC). I want to buy it but worry about it affecting DC and his/our friendships, etc. People are superficial here. We can afford a bigger house but we don't need it. I am that weird mom driving the 7-yr-old Toyota. I have always been socially awkward and don't want to make it difficult for DC with my idiosyncrasies.
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08.15.16, 05:33 PM
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Move someplace where people have more character and homes are smaller.
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08.15.16, 05:35 PM
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This. We bought in a burb where most houses are 6-7k sqft. Ours is 2000 sqft. People are very superficial and showy. It sucks. We didn't want to maintenance of a larger house and found a great cottage style house but I'm sure half my friends here feel sorry for me because they think we are "poor".
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08.15.16, 05:43 PM
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Op: Wow, 6-7k sqft is huge! I am sure that is what will happen to me as well. I don't really care if they think I am "poor" but worry about DC. I don't want to pay extra for something we don't need just to keep up with others.
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08.15.16, 05:58 PM
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Op: I would, but my kid goes to public school here (can't afford private) and he is happy there.
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08.15.16, 05:53 PM
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I would not live in a place where I will be judged by the size of house I live in.
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08.15.16, 05:42 PM
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It's unanimous. Move. Your kids will have problems. Either they will side with you and be alienated, or side with their peers and distance themselves from you. it's an impossible situation and it's about more than the house.
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08.15.16, 05:45 PM
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Op: You're right. I feel like it is more than the house and maybe that's why I am so torn.
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08.15.16, 06:02 PM
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Op: I agree but I feel like the judging is part of every suburb.
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08.15.16, 06:01 PM
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Not at all. We live in coastal CT, and people don't judge. There are some old and VERY rich families here that live in tiny old farm houses
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08.15.16, 06:16 PM
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I agree, op. I live in a modest suburb and people still absolutely judge you.
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08.15.16, 07:15 PM
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Fine and smart if you only have 1 DC. I think it looks odder living in a huge house with 1 DC
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08.15.16, 05:48 PM
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Thanks. I want to think so, too but worry about the social aspects. Being an engineer,I tend to automatically think that anything extraneous is bad!
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08.15.16, 06:08 PM
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If this is Bronxville, BTDT. With 1 DC you will be fine.
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08.15.16, 05:49 PM
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Op: Not Bronxville. We're close to D.C.
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08.15.16, 06:09 PM
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DH just got a ob in DC
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08.15.16, 06:46 PM
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Are houses really all that big, or is that just what you perceive? Where we live, there is a huge mix of home sizes, so I can't imagine anyone actually caring about this.
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08.15.16, 05:51 PM
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Op: They are that big. Common to find 4-5k sqft houses but most are around 3000 sqft.
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08.15.16, 06:10 PM
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Why do you want to live in this area so much, considering "people are superficial here"?
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08.15.16, 05:54 PM
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Op: The public elementary, middle and high schools are great! We can't afford private.
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08.15.16, 06:05 PM
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np. Just buy the small house and do a really good renovation. Enjoy your house!
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08.15.16, 06:10 PM
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Op: Thanks!
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08.15.16, 06:13 PM
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With one DC, you probably could. Sounds like you're paying 30k per year in real estate taxes alone. There goes your private school tuition.
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08.15.16, 06:16 PM
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Use this as a method to weed out people who are definitely not worth your family's time.
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08.15.16, 06:06 PM
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Op: Good idea :)
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08.15.16, 06:14 PM
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To me, the condition of your home speaks more about your "Wealth" than the size. IOW, i believe people should have a home they can adequately care for - that the paint isn't peeling, the weeds aren't waist high, the bathrooms function properly, don't have chipped grout or enamel, cracked tiles, etc. and there's nothing wrong with a 7yo toyota! the whole point is those cars last forever :)
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08.15.16, 06:13 PM
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well said
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08.15.16, 06:23 PM
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Op: You just made my day. Thanks!
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08.15.16, 06:24 PM
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do you realize you are just as much of a snob as the big house people
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08.15.16, 06:29 PM
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or: bc i think that you should not buy more home than you can afford to care for? IMO, if you can't afford to maintain your home, then it's too expensive for you. buy something more modest. but allowing your home to fall into disrepair, no matter hwo expensive it wsa to "purchase" makes you seem down and out, even though you're probably not. i didn't say you needed a viking stove and subzero fridge or an english garden - just paint your house and mow the lawn!
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08.15.16, 06:33 PM
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yes maybe the person is not wealthy caring about such things in other people's homes makes you a snob. I enjoy my big unkept home. That is my preference. i could have bought a much smaller updated house but I preferred a large house that is falling apart a little.
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08.15.16, 07:09 PM
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Agree. I actually am suspicious of the family dynamics when the house is so huge that no two people are ever in the same room at the same time.
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08.15.16, 06:38 PM
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I live in a suburb like that, albeit in flyover. In elementary school, kids really don't care. The only time it came up was Halloween; trick or treating was better in the neighborhoods with bigger homes. My son is older now, and has friends from all over our town. There is definitely a sporty rich pretty people clique culture in middle/high school, but it's actually a small part of the school.
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08.15.16, 06:31 PM
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I would move to a neighborhood that isn't so materialistic.
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08.15.16, 06:40 PM
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Can you add additions to your house? We live in a large 1920s apartment block we own in the Pacific Heights neighborhood of San Francisco. When we need more space we just evict tenants and enlarge our space. We now have the complete top floor. The DCs love it. Plus it's great to get rid of renters.
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08.15.16, 09:25 PM
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