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you criticize your SILs Coach bag.
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03.03.13, 03:49 PM
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Yes the mommy that did that is nocd
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03.03.13, 03:46 PM
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What's nocd?
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03.03.13, 03:51 PM
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If you have to ask what nocd is you are a striver
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03.03.13, 03:53 PM
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I have no idea what that means and I am not a striver. Not everyone is down with your lingo.
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03.03.13, 04:25 PM
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Not Our Kind Dear
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03.03.13, 04:30 PM
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NP: Wouldn't that be NOKD?
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03.03.13, 04:33 PM
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LOL! No one says that. Believe me no one says that.
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03.03.13, 10:04 PM
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Yes, it would!
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03.04.13, 02:58 AM
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So it would be NOKD. I have never heard that. You richies are weird.
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03.03.13, 04:36 PM
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They aren't richies. They are strivers.
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03.03.13, 04:34 PM
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What is the difference? If you have money you are a richie.
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03.03.13, 04:39 PM
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Doesn't make sense. Seems to me that if you use the term, you are a striver.
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03.03.13, 04:33 PM
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I know the term. I have heard it used. I do not use it myself.
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03.03.13, 04:52 PM
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not our class dear
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03.03.13, 08:25 PM
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This comes across as terribly insecure, which to me is the definition of a striver.
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03.03.13, 11:46 PM
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Not our crowd dear.
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03.03.13, 06:04 PM
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Apparently, it's Not Our Coachbag Dear. ;-)
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03.03.13, 08:29 PM
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class. it's class.
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03.04.13, 12:01 AM
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Not our kind dear
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03.04.13, 01:09 AM
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No that's just good taste to not ever carry a Coach bag. I wouldn't criticize out loud though. Keep comment to myself except on anonymous board.
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03.03.13, 03:52 PM
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If she likes it, let her wear it.
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03.03.13, 03:53 PM
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Above poster here and just read the sil coach post. Ok that's awful. Agreed.
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03.03.13, 03:50 PM
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I wrote the coach post but am not the responder above. Trust me she is evil and I just wanted to feel supported without listing all the ways she hurt me & dc
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03.03.13, 03:56 PM
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Np. I have a SIL with purse issues as well. My mother never allowed coach or Kate spade in our house so I smirked to myself at my sil's purses which she would keep moving so I would see.
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03.03.13, 04:06 PM
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Your mom is a striver.
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03.03.13, 04:20 PM
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No my mom was old money.
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03.03.13, 04:26 PM
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I don't think that you know what "old money" means.
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03.03.13, 05:14 PM
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Np: looks like you don't know
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03.03.13, 05:35 PM
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I was allowed to wear a no-name bag, so she was definitely not a striver.
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03.03.13, 05:43 PM
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No way was your mother old money if she didn't allow Coach in the house. You just outed yourself. Coach was a great American brand in the 50s-70s. Look it up in the Official Preppy Handbook. It was the handbag of choice for that subgroup. The vintage bags have a certain cache in fashion circles.
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03.03.13, 11:49 PM
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ITA. They still make Coach classic line without a logo that is identifiabale by its high quality leather and dowdy tailoring.
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03.04.13, 12:06 AM
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NP: If you're using the Official Preppy Handbook as some sort of arbiter of taste, then you're definitely a striver. *Snort* I always thought the book was a cute little bit of satire. Apparently there are people who took it very seriously.
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03.04.13, 09:01 PM
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Written by someone who went to (gasp) Lenox. Clearly no first hand knowledge of actual preppies.
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03.07.13, 05:08 AM
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Weren't allowed? Jesus.
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03.03.13, 04:26 PM
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Well she was paying, I didn't work until I was 24. Lol
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03.03.13, 04:32 PM
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Wow. I've had a job since I was 15. You sound like a leech.
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03.03.13, 04:37 PM
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I just never worked in highschool or college or grad school.
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03.03.13, 04:42 PM
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Charmed life.
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03.03.13, 04:40 PM
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Spoiled by immigrant parents, i won't make that mistake with my kids bc I had no clue what I liked to do.
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03.03.13, 04:46 PM
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WTF are you talking about? She would keep moving her purses? What does that mean?
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03.03.13, 04:34 PM
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Yes like keep it on her shoulder and keep moving it in front of her so we would see it. Everyone else's purses were in the corner somewhere. She would make eye contact with people then look down at her purse so we would look.
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03.03.13, 04:38 PM
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You sound a little crazy.
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03.03.13, 04:41 PM
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Then the whole family is crazy because she is known for this. And I guess she is the sane one clutching her purse.
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03.03.13, 04:44 PM
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Maybe you guys make her uncomfortable. Looking,watching,judging all the time.
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03.03.13, 04:49 PM
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She and her dh called my mil years ago and asked how we could afford to spend more than them on a house and also get a new car. They're the only ones keeping score.
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03.03.13, 04:57 PM
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Families who talk about money are so weird.
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03.03.13, 04:58 PM
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No one talks about it except them. So yes we all judge them. Dh's brother once looked inside my dc's sweater to see the brand. Is that normal.
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03.03.13, 05:13 PM
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Actually, the true UC response would be to carry a Coach bag yourself when you see her, so that she never finds out about her faux pas. A la fingerbowl. (A truely gracious hostess, upon seeing an nocd guest drink the contents of her fingerbowl, will promptly drink the contents of her own fingerbowl, to help the clueless guest feel comfortable, and mask the faux pas. This is the true purpose of etiquette--comfort for all, not snarking those who don't know the rules.
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03.03.13, 08:30 PM
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So true. So much of class is about making other people feel comfortable. It's not something you rub in someone's face.
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03.04.13, 12:07 AM
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I like you!
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03.04.13, 03:22 AM
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Well...ummm...you're wrong. A true UC response to seeing someone use an implement incorrectly would be to simply, discreetly use the implement in the correct way never calling attention to the misuse of the other party. A perfect example is pronunciation. I've worked in a luxury market, when someone pronounces something incorrectly, it is incredibly bad form to outright correct them. Instead, it's appropriate to instead use the correct pronunciation during the normal course of conversation. If the person catches on, then they do. If they don't catch on, then oh well. To do things incorrectly all in an attempt to make another party feel comfortable translates into a slippery slope where we'll all end up an uncultured sorry lot.
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03.04.13, 09:06 PM
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Oh, you're so young.
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03.04.13, 10:29 PM
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Oh dear, if you really think that, I'm afraid you've revealed yourself to be NOCD.
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03.06.13, 02:00 AM
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+1
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03.05.13, 12:24 AM
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You post on UB that you are going to the Kentucky derby
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03.03.13, 03:50 PM
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Ita
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03.03.13, 03:47 PM
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You pass judgment on everyone and think you're hot sh*t.
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03.03.13, 03:47 PM
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You give unsolicited advice to anyone and everyone about how they should live their lives, because you're curating yours, instead of living it.
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03.03.13, 03:51 PM
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You complain about your DH spending money of his quad sister
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03.03.13, 03:52 PM
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on his^^
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03.03.13, 03:52 PM
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6 years post-event.
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03.04.13, 02:59 AM
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Oh, I missed that one.
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03.03.13, 03:53 PM
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No way!
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03.03.13, 04:20 PM
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wow.
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03.05.13, 01:09 AM
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preschool occupies your every waking thought
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03.03.13, 03:52 PM
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hmm. sounds like me. okay, every other waking thought.
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03.03.13, 03:54 PM
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you brag about how much your brookline apartment would cost in Manhattan!
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03.03.13, 03:56 PM
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lollollol
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03.03.13, 03:54 PM
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you spelled Brooklyn wrong...
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03.03.13, 04:02 PM
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You don't know the difference between Brooklyn and Brookline
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03.03.13, 04:04 PM
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Brookline, MA
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03.03.13, 04:05 PM
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Lol lol lol. Brookline lol
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03.03.13, 04:15 PM
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Ncod
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03.04.13, 08:24 PM
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What kind of loser lives in an apartment in Brookline? It's all about the house.
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03.03.13, 04:20 PM
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You are planning dc preschool wardrobe
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03.03.13, 03:57 PM
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LOL.
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03.03.13, 03:55 PM
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I like fashion, it's like having two living dolls, see that's what other parents never get. I'm not dressing for them and neither am I dressing my children for them. Honestly I remember the way that my mother and grandmother dressed me as a child and I remember it being a further extension of their love and just this sense of security that they provided for me: you are loved and cared for down to the clothes you wear. It wasn't the only exhibition of their love but one. I have cherished childhood memories of various Easter dresses or my grandmother's commitment to saddle shoes for school days....I think it's the sign of a striver when a person comes to the conclusion that the actions of others are always about them.
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03.04.13, 09:08 PM
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You use the word striver all the time.
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03.03.13, 04:01 PM
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This!
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03.03.13, 05:34 PM
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Agree.
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03.03.13, 05:34 PM
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Bingo!
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03.03.13, 06:05 PM
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You complain about the amount of food your nanny eats
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03.03.13, 04:01 PM
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You scream out at your housewarming party, "I don't need a programmable thermostat bc I don't have to work anymore, I'm home"
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03.03.13, 04:11 PM
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No way? Lmao
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03.03.13, 04:10 PM
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I have a list of all her one liners. I can write a book.
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03.03.13, 04:15 PM
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I missed this!
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03.03.13, 04:19 PM
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I added it to a SIL post. Wasn't a big deal.
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03.03.13, 04:24 PM
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The whole idea of a housewarming party sounds like striving. Just a way to show off your house to other rich friends.
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03.03.13, 08:12 PM
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It's traditionally been a way to have a first get-together with family and friends where you blessed the home and shared a meal together within the four walls of your new abode. So many traditions are out of place or distorted by modern society. A housewarming has less meaning when the average person moves into several homes throughout their lifetime or when it becomes all about the gifts that will be given.
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03.04.13, 09:14 PM
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You talk about dividing your leftovers between your nanny & housekeeper
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03.03.13, 04:12 PM
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You brag about how diverse dd's school is to build up uour own status with hipsters at the co op
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03.03.13, 04:16 PM
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Hmm. LOL.
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03.03.13, 04:21 PM
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Plus one. Daughter gets to live with the diversity while mom gets the validation
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03.03.13, 04:19 PM
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What's wrong with living with diversity?
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03.03.13, 04:23 PM
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Sometimes the brown rubs off. You don't want DD listening to hip-hop.
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03.03.13, 04:36 PM
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Ha.. Very funny but we don't want hysterical mom coming out of hibernation so please put a lid on it.
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03.03.13, 04:56 PM
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Plus one. Keep hysterical mom in her coven
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03.03.13, 04:55 PM
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There was actually a long post about this a few months ago. Her DD was listening to hip-hop and mom was convinced she was going to join a gang.
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03.03.13, 04:59 PM
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I agree completely with both of you. But when you express concerns like this hysterical gas chamber mom flaggs everyone and you get in trouble with the moderator. There is a corporate policy that you cant question diversity here so just keep gas chamber mom away by not doing it
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03.03.13, 05:05 PM
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Gas chamber mommy is the funniest
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03.03.13, 05:19 PM
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np: It's always good to find out what white people really think.
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03.04.13, 09:15 PM
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The strivers depend on the place. Strivers in the park slope co op brag about totally different things than the strivers in manhattan. And striver moms at avenues brag about different things than at trinity
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03.03.13, 04:31 PM
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Status
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03.03.13, 04:32 PM
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True. And interesting.
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03.03.13, 05:06 PM
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I'm not a striver but I have to tell you that if I stepped foot in the co-op grocery store in Park Slope I would vomit from the pulsating smugness
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03.03.13, 09:59 PM
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Wow you know a lot of strivers.
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03.03.13, 10:08 PM
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You are a stay at home trying to figure out why multiple Nannys all hate you
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03.03.13, 05:08 PM
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you can't relate to the illegal aliens that you employ to do your dirty work
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03.03.13, 05:22 PM
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Yes. You vote for the candidate that wants more unskilled immigration so that nanny wages go down and you benefit
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03.03.13, 05:28 PM
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You judge people's choice of vacations and engagement rings. ew
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03.03.13, 06:03 PM
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ITA. Or in CA, what kind of car you drive. FYI strivers - the really rich ones are the ones driving Honda Accords and the likes, not the mega mommy striver Range Rovers.
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03.03.13, 06:49 PM
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This.
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03.05.13, 03:25 AM
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You are asking this question.
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03.03.13, 06:50 PM
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You mention where you "summer" or "go on holiday."
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03.03.13, 07:41 PM
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calling it "holiday" is OK if you are from the UK.
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03.03.13, 11:29 PM
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You barely broke 1000 on the SATs, never read for pleasure, have never really traveled abroad, only like to go shopping but your kid MUST get into a TT.
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03.03.13, 08:17 PM
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This doesn't even make sense. I.Q. is highly hereditary. How would they get in?
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03.03.13, 10:06 PM
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Um, sorry to take have to take it here, but there are more than a few IB wives who aren't particularly bright bulbs but have kids at top-level schools anyway because money talks. That said, I don't see the relevance of "have never really traveled abroad".
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03.04.13, 01:24 AM
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Seriously? You think the TTs are full of high IQ children? Oh my. Severe delusion.
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03.04.13, 01:46 AM
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+1
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03.04.13, 02:57 AM
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Do you have a kid at one of these schools? They're not all geniuses but if you don't think there are a bunch of REALLY smart kids there, you're the delusional one. You really think they all get into Harvard using connections? I'd argue that you can't even get into a TT school using money or connections unless they're insanely serious.
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03.04.13, 03:35 AM
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You start posts on UB asking questions like, "What kind of shoes would a truly rich person wear, in a way that communicated that they were rich but didn't like to flash their money?" (I actually suspect that many of those posts are started by aspiring writers trying to get info for their novel.)
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03.04.13, 01:26 AM
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Aspiring writer here: you are right...at least in my case. I personally go more for vintage & boho looks so the idea of status apparel is a bit foreign for me, which is why I have to ask.
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03.04.13, 09:14 PM
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You try to socialize outside your caste.
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03.04.13, 01:45 AM
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Are you from India?
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03.05.13, 07:04 AM
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Someone asks, "why do you hang with so and so, and they stare listing his/her achievements."
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03.04.13, 01:56 AM
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Whoops on the quotes. U get it
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03.04.13, 01:57 AM
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You only agree to play dates where the families are successful etc. You also subtly (or not so subtly) encourage your DC to make friends with Jonny who just happens to be from a prominent family. "Jonny loves you, you should sit next to him more".
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03.04.13, 08:59 AM
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before investing any time in a friendship you do your due diligence; find out if they are rich, successful and connected.. dont waste time encouraging friendships with DC's of children whose parents are not.
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03.04.13, 09:05 AM
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do you do this? there's a special place in this world for people like you.
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03.05.13, 07:07 AM
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Ughhh. So disgusting.
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03.05.13, 03:30 AM
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This embodies active social climbing strivers. Disgusting but yes, these parents are out there.
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03.05.13, 07:06 AM
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you brag about your kid getting into TT
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03.04.13, 02:03 PM
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Everyone brags about this. Sorry.
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03.04.13, 03:18 PM
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you put your 3 year old daughter in really expensive dresses for school every day
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03.04.13, 10:36 PM
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Lol
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03.05.13, 12:15 AM
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