I have a friend who is turning 42 next week, and she's throwing herself a birthday party, as she does every year. She is single, never had a boyfriend. All of her parties are potluck and BYOB. She sent around an email asking who was going to bring the cake. The cake! I'm sorry, but we are no longer post-grads, and if you're going to throw yourself a birthday party, am I way off base in thinking that you should provide the food AND drinks AND cake to your guests? She's basically outsourcing the whole party to her guests and thinking that by providing the space, she's done enough. To me that is a very undergrad mentality and I think she should grow up and be a proper hostess.
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02.01.13, 03:41 AM
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missing the friend part here...
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02.01.13, 03:42 AM
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Maybe she's thinking it's tacky to throw your own bday party and your friends should do it for you?
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02.01.13, 03:43 AM
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Right. So don't plan your party.
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02.01.13, 03:49 AM
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I have no issue with pot luck, but would buy wine and cake unless someone offered,
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02.01.13, 03:46 AM
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Omg! Then don't go. People can bring the cake as a b-day gift.
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02.01.13, 03:44 AM
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I realized that you despised her by the 2nd sentence.
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02.01.13, 03:44 AM
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+10000. You're a s----y friend to her. Think hard about who you want to be in this life. Ugh.
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02.01.13, 03:48 AM
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Indeed
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02.01.13, 05:30 PM
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Agree w u. Why r u friends w this person?
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02.01.13, 03:47 AM
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Better question is why this woman, who is probably just wanting to have a fun get together potluck on her birthday, with her friends, is friends with OP.
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02.01.13, 03:49 AM
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ITA! OP is the bitchy one here.
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02.01.13, 03:50 AM
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I thought she was just friend,
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02.01.13, 03:45 AM
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Just be nice and throw her a birthday party.
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02.01.13, 03:49 AM
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+1. Right?!
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02.01.13, 03:49 AM
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Seriously! OP, grow up.
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02.01.13, 03:51 AM
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Why would OP do that? It's only too clear that she despises her.
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02.01.13, 04:30 AM
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God forbid you ever find yourself alone.
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02.01.13, 03:50 AM
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yes!!! seriously, god forbid..
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02.01.13, 04:33 AM
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You suck.
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02.01.13, 03:58 AM
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Go away OP, you are a bitter woman
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02.01.13, 03:58 AM
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np Shocking that no one thinks this is super tacky.
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02.01.13, 04:00 AM
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I think it is just sad. I wouldn't be friends with the birthday girl because it is too depressing.
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02.01.13, 04:04 AM
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well aren't you charming.
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02.01.13, 04:06 AM
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I don't like to be around tragic people.
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02.01.13, 04:13 AM
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It is tragic to be single?
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02.01.13, 04:32 AM
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At 42? Well... Yeah
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02.01.13, 04:52 AM
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Wow
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02.01.13, 06:31 AM
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It is tragic yes I agree esp if you don't have DCs
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02.01.13, 05:32 PM
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ok live in a bubble. once it pops you won't be able to cope.
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02.01.13, 04:33 AM
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What is tragic about being single? Ugh.
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02.01.13, 04:34 AM
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Not that she's single! That she's so clueless.
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02.01.13, 04:46 AM
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OP is more clueless about being decent and generous with her spirit.
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02.01.13, 04:47 AM
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we all seem to think OP is a jackass.
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02.01.13, 04:02 AM
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+1
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02.01.13, 04:04 AM
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I don't
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02.01.13, 04:13 AM
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+1
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02.01.13, 04:32 AM
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+2
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02.01.13, 04:39 AM
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It may be tacky in someway but OP is a jackass
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02.01.13, 04:07 AM
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+10000
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02.01.13, 04:17 AM
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+100000000000
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02.01.13, 04:30 AM
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yep.
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02.01.13, 04:37 AM
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It's relative. Maybe the friend isn't great at throwing parties, but OP is terrible at being a friend. I think you can learn to throw a party.
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02.01.13, 04:31 AM
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If you're sticking your guests with the costs, YOU'RE not throwing the party!
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02.01.13, 04:43 AM
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It's not like she invited them and then handed them the check. She invited to a pot luck. Say No if you aren't into it, but it is perfectly acceptable.
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02.01.13, 04:53 AM
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A potluck isn't something you arrange when you're celebrating your own bday.
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02.01.13, 04:59 AM
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No, it isn't something YOU arrange to celebrate YOUR birthday.
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02.01.13, 05:35 AM
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Really, who cares. The much worse part is that OP, her so-called friend, is so nasty. If I had a friend who sent out an invitation like that, my first move would be to call and offer to help coordinate the party, get the cake, etc. How about being a good friend, not just a judgmental asshole?
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02.01.13, 05:43 AM
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Yes
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02.01.13, 06:31 AM
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What does the fact that she is single and has never had a boyfriend have to do with it?
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02.01.13, 04:13 AM
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maybe because most spouses throw their SOs parties, and she doesn't have a SO, so she expects her friends to do that for her?
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02.01.13, 04:18 AM
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or perhaps because OP is trying to highlight that this woman is pathetic. I find it difficult to believe that someone could get to 42 never having had a boyfriend.
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02.01.13, 04:32 AM
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Lesbo?
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02.01.13, 04:46 AM
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Then wouldn't she have had a girlfriend?
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02.01.13, 05:02 AM
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I have single friends in their 40s and I hardly consider them "pathetic."
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02.01.13, 04:47 AM
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I do. I know it's mean. Can't help it. Feel sorry for them. Just didn't happen.
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02.01.13, 04:51 AM
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You CAN help being mean. It is a choice.
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02.01.13, 04:53 AM
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I don't ACT mean. But I think those thoughts.
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02.01.13, 04:56 AM
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And write them here.
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02.01.13, 04:56 AM
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This is like my diary.
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02.01.13, 04:59 AM
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Maybe you should get a diary.
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02.01.13, 05:36 AM
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"I'm with a moron."
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02.01.13, 05:45 AM
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One of my best friends is 39 and single and really wants to find someone and have a family. I feel sad for her, but she is far from "pathetic." What is pathetic are people like you who think they are superior because they happened to get lucky and find someone.
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02.01.13, 02:39 PM
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...that OP, being the super close friend that she is, knows about. Frankly, it was a dig to make the birthday woman appear to be pathetic and lonely. It backfired, making OP look bitter and nasty.
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02.01.13, 04:47 AM
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this!
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02.01.13, 05:02 AM
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School mom threw herself a 50th Bday potluck party at her newly acquired and 2 years of renovation 3,000 sq ft apt on CPW. On her invitation, she wanted to know what we want to bring?!??!!
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02.01.13, 04:14 AM
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You should have written that you'd bring Tupperware to bring home leftovers of the catered meal.
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02.01.13, 04:32 AM
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OP - don't listen to all these 40+ single women who responded to your post. you hit a raw nerve because they probably do the same tacky thing. Personally, I think if you are over 35, you should really pay for your guests for a dinner out or host something 100%.
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02.01.13, 04:19 AM
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Ha! Because so many 40+ single women hang out on UB?
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02.01.13, 04:33 AM
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35? Tacky to suggest people buy stuff for you to host a party at any age.
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02.01.13, 04:31 AM
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i bet all of these people in favor of a BYOB 42nd birthday party also threw their own baby showers. it is very tacky. a hostess should provide food and drink, simple. don't expect people to cater your own birthday party. very tacky.
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02.01.13, 04:41 AM
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ditto
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02.01.13, 04:50 AM
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ITA. She's not "hosting" a party if she's making everyone else do everything. Weird.
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02.01.13, 04:21 AM
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I hate the OP.
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02.01.13, 04:33 AM
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lol, tell us how you really feel
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02.01.13, 04:39 AM
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Lol. I just read through thinking how mean she sounds.
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02.01.13, 04:41 AM
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Found someone to bring the cake yet? What about the wine?
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02.01.13, 04:43 AM
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Hahaha! I wish I was the friend and came across this.
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02.01.13, 04:48 AM
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+1000
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02.01.13, 04:48 AM
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she's a douchmaster
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02.01.13, 05:00 AM
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douchemaster
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02.01.13, 05:42 AM
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thanks!
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02.01.13, 05:45 AM
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I think OP struck a nerve. Sorry OP. People just don't have style anymore.
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02.01.13, 02:58 PM
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So weird that you think it's fine to not only organize a party for your own bday but to ask friends to contribute! If I organized a party for myself (a little narcissistic, imo), I'd damn well foot the bill.
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02.01.13, 03:38 PM
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um, i think we agree with each other!
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02.01.13, 03:49 PM
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I'm with you, OP. This is tacky.
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02.01.13, 04:07 PM
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+1
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02.01.13, 04:30 PM
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+2
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02.01.13, 07:19 PM
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