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01.31.13, 14:51 PM General Topics
311 replies
so let me hear it: all the moms that are so happy to be out of the kitchen, tell us what it is that you do that is so meaningful and fulfilling. love to hear it. lawyers? accountants? working in business for big corporation, while your nannies take care of your children. i address this question only to those who can afford to SAH and don't, not to those who actually need to work. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 01.31.13, 02:51 PM Flag
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You'll get answers about role-modelling for dd--but that doesn't address the value (or lack thereof?) of what the nanny or caregiver is doing while taking care of dd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 02:54 PM Flag
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"role-modelling for dd" thanks god i have a ds! no need to role-model on wage-slavery [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:41 PM Flag
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you are role modeling his future wife and his expectations for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 06:27 PM Flag
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nobody in my family expects women to be wage-slaves! i do want her to be a good investor though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 07:42 PM Flag
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No, your husband does that for him! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 09:36 PM Flag
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nice! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.02.13, 02:37 PM Flag
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i think that over time, families are going to gravitate to old school values - food, time spent together, making things by hand, etc., - as they realize that facebook and their jobs working for others are quite meaningless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 02:58 PM Flag
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I like to think this, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 02:57 PM Flag
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Right, food on the table is meaningless [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:01 PM Flag
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im talking about all those that can afford to sahm and don't. i'm not talking about those that have to work to put food on the table. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:04 PM Flag
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LOL, making "things by hand" - well, if DH loses job and I can't provide, we'll be sewing a lot more [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:05 PM Flag
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Here, I whittled this car for you... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:10 PM Flag
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hehe [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:16 PM Flag
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60% of Americans HATE their jobs, it's time they allow themselves to come out of the closet [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:42 PM Flag
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Yup, let's tell every DH who hates his job to quit and move to neverland, FFS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 06:37 PM Flag
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it's about time that hippie communities get set up again, along with huge squatting areas. housing is too expensive imho. as long as there's internet... LOL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 07:40 PM Flag
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Ha! Martha Stewart and Oprah made billions catering to this bourgeois aesthetic- while being hard-charging businesswomen themselves. Do you scrapbook? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 09:37 PM Flag
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i have an MD mom friend who makes seriously everything by hand, she is like bionic mom. She makes her kids clothes, takes amazing photos, makes all her own babyfood & cooks a ton, kids always look adorable, and blogs it all. I am in awe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 07:24 AM Flag
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what's her blog address? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.02.13, 02:38 PM Flag
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You just can't comprehend that we are not all wired like you? My mom was terrible as a SAHM. Bitter and mean and depressed. She was an awesome mom once she went back to work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 02:57 PM Flag
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your mom was awesome to who when she went to work? lol... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:02 PM Flag
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Her employer. She was a very valuable cog. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:03 PM Flag
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lol..., love it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:04 PM Flag
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too funny [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:04 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:36 PM Flag
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OR: To me, her child, and her other children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:09 PM Flag
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well, i guess that that says it all. your mom was a better mom to you when she was out of the house. awesome! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:10 PM Flag
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I hope you raise your DC to be better people than you are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:16 PM Flag
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She's not capable. Maybe they'll find good teachers though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:18 PM Flag
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i'll note that down. thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:21 PM Flag
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I just hope she has DS not DD [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:44 PM Flag
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Well, her DS is going to be a dick too, so not much better [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:46 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:53 PM Flag
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Someone should tell your husband to quit his job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 09:38 PM Flag
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To whom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 09:37 PM Flag
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np Hey op, don't joke. My mom was like that too. Nicer and less focused on me and my faults when she worked. When she didn't work it was like she took out all her frustration on me. I was scapegoated. When she worked I remember hearing her conversationg with my dad about her feelings getting hurt by her boss or coworkers and less about me. Then she stopped working and her ire turned to her family. Not saying all moms are like this but I wish to God she had worked to give her more of a balance. Now she just sits at home playing facebook games, and collecting a government check and she cites the reason for not going back to work is because she has no job experience for the past 20 years, and she doesn't want to. But she needs to because dad's dead and not taking care of her any longer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 02:08 AM Flag
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This, but my mom never went back to work. She would have benefited from some structure, responsibility, and somewhere to go. Instead, she has been battling depression and anxiety for many years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:03 PM Flag
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Seems to be plenty of women on antidepressants at the office too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:37 PM Flag
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OMG - I could have written this. My mom was a total basket case as a sahm. I honestly thought she was suicidal for a good 10-year stretch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:59 PM Flag
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yup me too. i always say she would have been better off with a job [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 09:08 PM Flag
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she probably was. i am in and out of mental illness and am much healthier mentally when i work. feel less vulnerable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 07:26 AM Flag
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this was my mom. she was happiest working part time when we were younger, then full time as we left for college. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:01 PM Flag
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I know a SAHM like this. She really should go back to work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:04 PM Flag
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Why are you so unhappy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 02:57 PM Flag
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why are you so happy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:03 PM Flag
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+1. signed SAHM who enjoys her choice and wholeheartedly supports those who choose differently. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:03 PM Flag
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i support those who feel differently. they do the jobs that i would hate to do like do the closing on my house [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:05 PM Flag
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And the jobs you're too dumb to do, like brain surgery for sick children [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:05 PM Flag
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haha, relax, we all know your special. keep up the good work and GET BACK TO WORK. does your employer or nanny know you are on urbanbaby? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:08 PM Flag
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Go vacuum something already ^.^ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:11 PM Flag
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You know she doesn't actually do anything, right? She has a FT nanny, FT housekeeper. All she does is get manicures and shop. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:13 PM Flag
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Actually, she doesn't sound very smart... and definitely low class. I don't think she has a lot of help around the house. I don't think her DH is that successful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:15 PM Flag
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lol, you wenches are hilarious [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:14 PM Flag
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+1 I would say no class [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:34 PM Flag
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+2 and obviously doesn't have smart friends [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:38 PM Flag
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+3! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:56 PM Flag
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+100 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:58 PM Flag
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already done. i have the day to myself at this point. why do you think i can waste time here at UB. what about you? get back to work!!! why are you here? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:11 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:03 PM Flag
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Because she can't get a job if she tried. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:04 PM Flag
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So, so this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:05 PM Flag
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i doubt she would rather work. i have it and it sucks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:12 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:12 PM Flag
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I guess you speak for all WOHMs then. Plenty WOHMs enjoy what they do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:44 PM Flag
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i wouldnt say plenty at all. most people do not like the work they do. i gues it depends on who you hang out with. do you think the person who cleans your house enjoys it? lol... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:46 PM Flag
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No but I guess I'm not hanging out with cleaning ladies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:50 PM Flag
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well thats because you are a special person. keep up the good work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:51 PM Flag
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You appear to Have a low opinion of what kind of jobs women can hold. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:52 PM Flag
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This! So sad! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:53 PM Flag
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Women should only be SAHMs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:55 PM Flag
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Sounds like she doesn't understand that you can get an education and have a cool job, or a serious and important one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:57 PM Flag
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Because the only thing she's qualified to do is scrub toilets [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:31 PM Flag
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Lol! I am an MD mom, and because most of my best friends are from my school days and people I've met professionally about 80% of my girlfriends are MD moms too. If It weren't for UB I wouldn't know a wage-slave vs SAHM debate existed. I would encourage you to teach your dd's (and ds's) to study hard so they are qualified to do well-compensated work they find meaningful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 11:37 AM Flag
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+100 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:10 PM Flag
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+100000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:15 PM Flag
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And what do you do, OP? Wallow in misery? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:01 PM Flag
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i'm a sahm. and loving it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:03 PM Flag
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You sound so bitter and unhappy. I'm so sorry :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:16 PM Flag
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ITA with this. Unhappy people tend to be the most judgmental. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:21 PM Flag
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who wouldn't be unhappy about where things are going in this world with the quality of our food, the cost of living, and the lack of parental involvement with our children because of the insane cost of living? you're happy? you're clueless [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:26 PM Flag
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I'm happy with my own life. I don't think about the decisions other people make with their own lives, let alone judge them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:28 PM Flag
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i doubt you are being truthful. if its true, then you are a special and unique lady. i've lived many a year and i don't know a single person like you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:30 PM Flag
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You've never met a happy person who doesn't judge other people? You need some new friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:29 PM Flag
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no, i haven't. every single person i've met, happy or not, judges people. and i'd bet my home that you do to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:34 PM Flag
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I absolutely do not judge other people. It's not my business, and I was raised to not assume anything about other people because you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. My mom WOH and was somehow able to instill good values into me. Imagine that... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:38 PM Flag
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well you sound special indeed. you seem to be judging me though. maybe you need to take an early lunch [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:46 PM Flag
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I too do not judge people anymore. Perhaps because I am so happy in my own life and the choices I have made. I hope everyone makes the right choices for them WHATEVER they may be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 04:28 AM Flag
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ouch, that really hurts. i'm so sorry that your children have a mom like you. i am SO SORRY... lol... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:25 PM Flag
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You sound so stupid. Take a step back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:26 PM Flag
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ouchiwawa!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:30 PM Flag
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Point made. Have a great day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:29 PM Flag
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Seriously, are you that 13 year old troll? Or did you have a frontal lobotomy? What kind of uneducated, unfiltered slob talks like this? I hope you're kidding that that you don't actually have offspring that depend on you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:34 PM Flag
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seriously, grow up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:39 PM Flag
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I work for the government and I really enjoy being at a job where I can "make a difference." Yes, I struggle against the bureaucracy and sometimes we work on a project that the deputy mayor ultimates drops, so it's not perfect. But overall, I love my job and my career. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:02 PM Flag
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so you suck as a mom. do your kids even know who you are? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:03 PM Flag
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I am sure I would suck as a SAHM, no question. But do I suck as a mom? Nope. I work 9 to 5, and take off days for all talent shows, field trips, doctor's appointments, etc. I love it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:03 PM Flag
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Same here. Exactly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:22 PM Flag
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Good for you. You sound like a great mom :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 04:33 AM Flag
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That sounds like my dad, who was 10000x the parent that my bitter, frustrated (although well-educated and working until she got PG) SAHM was to me. I would have preferred she worked and had a nanny--she would have been less hurt out and depressed and would have enjoyed better mental health, then and now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 11:41 AM Flag
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Burnt out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 11:42 AM Flag
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What is wrong with you!?!? Your comments reveal you to be miserable. You should make different choices for yourself, you may feel better about yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 04:32 AM Flag
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Who the hell cares if someone SAH or WOH? For my family, I do not *need* to work but the security of two jobs is what we need, especially to meet our savings goals. Why are you so concerned? Wait, why am I even answering? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:02 PM Flag
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This. Thank you, this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:10 PM Flag
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+1,000,000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 12:32 AM Flag
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Do you ask your DH this? Because last I checked, men and women are both allowed to enjoy their jobs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:02 PM Flag
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take care of your children, if you can afford it. no nannies!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:06 PM Flag
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You sound really miserable and insecure. I'm sorry. I hope you feel better soon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:07 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:10 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:10 PM Flag
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+3 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:10 PM Flag
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thank you for the well wishes, now get back to work for the man! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:08 PM Flag
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Don't you have kids to smother? Does your DH know you're being a negligent mother? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:10 PM Flag
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Seriously! If you're so superior for staying home with your kids, shouldn't you be actually paying attention to them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:12 PM Flag
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i will when they come home from school. are you so tired from working that you forgot that kids are in school right now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:16 PM Flag
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Hardly. If your kids are in school, what's your purpose in being home? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:20 PM Flag
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omg, are you stupid? i'm on UB like you, wasting time. i have all my responsibliites covered. groceries, cleaning up, food, etc. i'm done until 3pm. what about you? aren't you supposed to be doing some work right now instead of typing here at UB or are you on 10am lunch? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:25 PM Flag
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But your whole argument is based on "I'm raising my own kids, and WOHMs are not." So if your kids are in school all day, what makes you superior to me. I'm on a conference call making money right now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:29 PM Flag
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because when my kids come home from school, i am with them and can take care of them. you aren't. you have some greenbacks instead. go chase those dollars!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:35 PM Flag
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Oh, is that a fact? I work 9-3, so I am there every day at pick-up. Great set of assumptions though! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:39 PM Flag
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who was talking to you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:39 PM Flag
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I assure you, your kids would be better off if someone else was raising them. You sound like an awful person and mother. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 04:35 AM Flag
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Some people don't need more money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:41 PM Flag
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Better to make some money and keep your brain alive then lay around all day waiting for the bus. Good luck with that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:42 PM Flag
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and why is that? time to turn your brain on... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:48 PM Flag
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Why do you think? It's healthy to keep learning new things and challenging yourself as you get older. Prevents dementia, depression, etc. Pick up a book or newspaper sometime. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:47 PM Flag
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I had a brain-dead SAHM. I found her embarrassing compared to my friends' interesting WOHMs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 11:45 AM Flag
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Groceries and cleaning up from 830 until 3 pm? God I would die if this was my life. I work until 3 pm doing something I love, makes money, and is intellectually stimulating. I win awards, I have colleagues. A woman with no education cleans my house, cooks dinner and buys groceries. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:05 PM Flag
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LMFAO, this is the best response so far. Love you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:06 PM Flag
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LOve you!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:05 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:58 PM Flag
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Np. Yea and I'm sure she never watches your kids either. Who watched them before full time school? Better hope that DCs turn out like you and not the illegals you left them with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 07:37 PM Flag
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OR: I went back to work when my twins were in preK and home at 3. When you have a good education and are prized for your achievements you can often write your own ticket. My housekeeper is not illegal, there are tons of former SAHMs without educations/careerswho now need jobs and housekeeping is an option to them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 02:13 AM Flag
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Lol, that is exactly who I have for a nanny/housekeeper. She is lovely and I value her help in my household. I just personally make a little over 10x what I pay her. She is legal, white, on the books, and somewhat educated. Maybe you could look for a nanny/housekeeper position on UB, SAHM, once you've raised your own kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 11:48 AM Flag
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Thanks but I have a law degree so I'm involved with education foundations on a volunteer basis. I would be a terrible housekeeper, but a great nanny since I have spreadsheets of what books to read to kids and when. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 02:13 PM Flag
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Did you not have a nanny growing up? Were you by any chance from a poor family? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 11:43 AM Flag
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Not sure who you're asking in this thread, but I did not have a nanny, we were a very large, wealthy, Catholic family. Fwiw. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 02:15 PM Flag
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You are verging on trolldom but I'll try to answer honestly. I know that studies show that families with traditional relationships (breadwinner dads, SAHMs) tend to be happier, but the genie has been let out of the bag. I wish that it were enough for me, but I've always been kind of a tomboy (always played with army figures and cars and legos and never dolls) and knowing that there are other possibilities has made me want more. Right now, ironically, I mostly SAHM, but have dd in daycare 2 days a week, which she loves. I find full time child care stultifying, as many men would. I love dcs, but relish our breaks. Once DH finishes his fellowship and we move to a final place, I do hope to find something meaningful (right now am a lawyer) AND flexible. Babyhood is such a short time. Once they are all in school full time, what's left (absent considerable volunteer activities)? Homemaking? Not enough these days, given the overall easiness of our lives in modern times, hence all the suburban ennui in the 1950s. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:06 PM Flag
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you had me at trolldom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:07 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:08 PM Flag
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I think we passed "verging" a while ago [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:53 PM Flag
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Happier? Studies show SAHMs are more unhappy in every parameter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 09:42 PM Flag
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Show me a happy traditional family, and I will show you a SAHM on an SSRI. I am an MD mom so I see people's medical charts. It is quite common. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 11:50 AM Flag
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Those studies are outdated. More recent research suggests no negative effects on children of WOHMs:http://www.schoollibraryjournal.com/slj/newsletters/newsletterbucketextrahelping/886495-443/study_working_moms_dont_have.html.csp [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 01:41 PM Flag
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what on earth will you do with yourself after the kids leave home?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:10 PM Flag
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spend DH's alimony [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:11 PM Flag
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How much does your prized DH earn? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:08 PM Flag
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$11 million and all I have to do is spread my legs twice a week and allow him to have a mistress. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:12 PM Flag
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hehehe [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:11 PM Flag
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I realize you're making a joke, but you are stereotyping women as whores. Just saying. Women don't care about sex, they only do it for money. Thanks. I am a WOHM by the way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 03:30 PM Flag
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again, i'm talking about moms who can afford to sah and don't. i have total respect for those that work because they have to . i find it sad that our society basically forces so many moms to work because of the cost of living. yes, lets have our government work to keep home prices high shall we? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:17 PM Flag
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You are sitting on high judging everyone. Good luck with that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 03:30 PM Flag
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So you have total respect for moms who married men who don't make enough to support a family but less respect for women who married higher-earning men and have their own career ambitions? Are women just walking wombs to you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 03:50 PM Flag
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Dear OP: I gotta ask - what COULD you do if you were working? What's your educational background and work experience? It's hard for me to know where you're coming from. Plenty of WOHMs in this city who are brilliant, very well-educated, ambitious and just hard-wired to take on the world. If you've never been much of an achiever, I don't think you should expect to understand their choices. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:13 PM Flag
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I have my MRS and that's all I need. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:14 PM Flag
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It's going to be hard when your DH leaves you for a newer model. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:12 PM Flag
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Here's the thing: no one can take away JDs, MDs, MBAs, PhDs. But that MRS . . . . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:17 PM Flag
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i was a doctor. worked for a while [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:31 PM Flag
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LMAO - we have a winner for the biggest lie ever told on UB!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:29 PM Flag
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this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:35 PM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:01 PM Flag
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*t*h*i*s* [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:09 PM Flag
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really? are you sure about that? you think someone with my views has to have done nothing with career? you are wrong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:36 PM Flag
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Haha, okay. Whatever you say MRS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:41 PM Flag
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omg, did you ever mentally leave high school? do you hear yourself? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:57 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:57 PM Flag
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OMG, like, no, I never did. Idiot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:55 PM Flag
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Word. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 03:32 PM Flag
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Which is it? Your MRS or your MD? Liar. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:33 PM Flag
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why so skeptical everyone? Im a doctor, and I only work PT and have toyed with the idea of SAHM. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 07:30 AM Flag
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We were asking OP. Not you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 03:33 PM Flag
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Lol. What kind of doctor? Where did you train? I think we will be needing a bit of proof or else I call SAHM with her pants on fire..... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 11:52 AM Flag
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Ha ha! Such a lie. Wow, I might have believed it if she said lawyer. OMG! NO doctor would give it up to SAHM. Too much money and time involved. Total lie. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 03:33 PM Flag
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Does it really matter to you? I'm a SAHM and I really don't care what other people do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:18 PM Flag
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You sound happy. Go you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:22 PM Flag
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yes, it matters. with our culture screaming toward both parents needing to work and nobody home for children (not everyone can afford a nanny you know...), our society is verging on a mess. you must not be paying attention to what is going on out there. our country was never perfect, but when at least one parent could stay home, it was much better. yes, it matters to me. i don't like at all where things are going and i don't like how nobody talks about it. our society needs to have it be a CHOICE for at least one parent to be a homemaker. you got a problem with that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:33 PM Flag
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+100 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:48 PM Flag
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How does someone choosing to WOH degrade the choice to SAH? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:50 PM Flag
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The world you pine for never actually existed. Women have ALWAYS worked. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:04 PM Flag
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It was different in the past. Families worked together. they weren't separated like they are now. In the past Grandma took care of kids while mom worked in the field. Different. I was a SAHM for a while, now WOHM. But you have to admit that things were different then. Also, not so great for women. Women were traded around like slaves and forced to marry men they didn't know. They were forced to leave their moms to marry some old guy in another tribe. Men would go around raiding other villages, kill all the men so they could have more women. Let's not romanticize the past please. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 03:34 PM Flag
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I think we need to allow polygamy, have one wife that works and another one who is a homemaker, problem solved. Sister wives all the way, LOL. Then we have denominations, homemaker-wife, incomemaker-wife. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 08:24 PM Flag
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"...it was much better..." FOR WHOM exactly? It angers me when people hark back to the 50s lifestyle like that picture perfect happiness wasn't a complete falsehood for many people (especially suppressed women). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 09:14 PM Flag
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I for one would have loathed it. And my mother and grandmother, both SAHMs, clearly did. I am a much happier woman than either one of them. For me there isn't even a debate. I think the 'society problems' that upset you so much always existed, in fact probably much worse, because they were taboo to discuss. I think our society is more fair for more people than it has ever been. If you think things are getting worse you are probably just not very well-read. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 11:56 AM Flag
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Word. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 03:34 PM Flag
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That's because you're happy whereas OP is miserable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:40 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:47 PM Flag
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+100 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:53 PM Flag
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THIS!!!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:32 PM Flag
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Ooh. Snap. She probably didn't graduate college. That's why she's so insecure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 03:34 PM Flag
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I can't believe this kind of loser is sustainable in our society. We just make way too much money nowadays. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:26 PM Flag
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+1000000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:28 PM Flag
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i'm a loser because i believe that people should take care of their children instead of having nannies do it? ok, then i'm a loser. you are a winner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:34 PM Flag
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Finally, truth from OP [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:50 PM Flag
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yes OP, exactly, you are a loser... BINGO [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:02 PM Flag
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No, I don't care to put up with a woman who is clearly suffering from a huge inferiority complex. You're not fit to lick my pumps [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:30 PM Flag
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get back to work! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:37 PM Flag
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and whats funny is that not a single mom has told you what they do that is so fulfilling. does that tell you everything you need to know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:32 PM Flag
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That's we're too smart to indulge the troll? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:34 PM Flag
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*That [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:35 PM Flag
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No, it means that her tone does not justify my defending my choices to her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:37 PM Flag
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AMEN [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:36 PM Flag
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Double AMEN. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:38 PM Flag
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Triple freaking AMEN, this is such a ridiculous thread [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:45 PM Flag
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I know, I don't even know why I can't stop looking at it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:43 PM Flag
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Because she's a train wreck - it's like arguing with a teenager who has a lot of sass but absolutely no sense. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:49 PM Flag
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You're right - I was actually feeling pretty crappy about coming to work today, but this has improved my day 100%. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:49 PM Flag
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good, now get back to work! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:58 PM Flag
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Get back to scrubbing behind the toilet, or eating, or whatever you're up to this morning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:57 PM Flag
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+10000000000000000000000000000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:52 PM Flag
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would you say i'm sassful and senseless? lol.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:58 PM Flag
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That's the kind version of what I'd say about you, dear. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:00 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:56 PM Flag
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Absolutely this! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:20 PM Flag
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ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:29 PM Flag
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really? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:40 PM Flag
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When someone did, she told them they were a lousy mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:39 PM Flag
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+100 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:48 PM Flag
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What does it mean to be able to afford it? We could move to a place we don't love and be able to afford for me to SAH and have a good quality of life. I would not be very good at being SAHM because very young kids are not my cup of tea. I think I am a better and a more fulfilled human being when I am not doing childcare 24x7. If I could afford to have a nanny and SAH (perhaps start a small business) I expect it would be the ideal balance for us all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:33 PM Flag
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but to answer your question in regard to what I do: I formulated new coatings last year that will result in reduction in air pollution by 5 large factories. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:53 PM Flag
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awesome. keep up the good work in the new coatings field. you are doing gods work [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:59 PM Flag
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thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:05 PM Flag
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I hate being in the kitchen, is this a good enough explanation for you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:36 PM Flag
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not really. the question wasn't whether you like the kitchen. the question was, if you dont' like the kitchen, what is it that you do that is so fulfilling and meaningful. simple question, but didn't get a single answer. guess that's my answer... lots of hate, but no answers... go ahead and say it, "i do closings for people"....lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:41 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:48 PM Flag
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Anything is better than being in the kitchen, like I said I hate cooking and housework, is this ok with you? Even if I have a dumbest job at least I get to get out of the house instead of doing tasks I hate to do. Besides, why does your post start with "kitchen" as a defining task for SAHM? You obviously mean a SAHM who is also a homemaker and I would not be able to be a homemaker in my life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:49 PM Flag
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Actually, you have gotten a number of answers, and we know you read them, because you took the time to insult the responder. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:03 PM Flag
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This, freaking this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:11 PM Flag
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I can't believe that anyone would think that the ideal situation can be found in either a FT WOH situation or in being a FT SAHM. There is so much value in time spent with children. There is also so much value in being productive in other spheres, using your mind/education, accomplishing tangible things and otherwise contributing to society/the economy not just your own family. The reality is, very very few people have the opportunity to find the perfect balance, but why judge other people for where they fall on the spectrum if they are generally doing a good job of things? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:40 PM Flag
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I am an engineer, I have very intellectually stimulating work, lots of decisions and problem solving, I love puzzles :) I play with my kids when I get home, but to be honest, I am not really a type of person who is very good with very small kids, I am the type that would greatly enjoy school aged kids and can't wait to help them with their homework especially in science dept. I love to cuddle with my babies, but have a hard time entertaining them with silly toddler/baby games. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:40 PM Flag
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bad mom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:45 PM Flag
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disagree - great mom who is honest about her strengths and weaknesses [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:10 PM Flag
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well, thank god that god put people on this earth who love to take care of other peoples children so that a nanny can do the puzzles with your children! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:49 PM Flag
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Actually I do puzzles with my kids myself, thank you very much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:52 PM Flag
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good for you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:01 PM Flag
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np: I would think the greater thing to be thankful for is the presence of engineers who have helped enable to live modern lives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:59 PM Flag
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I am you and I don't know why you are getting all the hateful replies. My #1 is older and the exact thing you described has worked out very well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:04 PM Flag
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I'm glad you're getting responses, and you should actually try to keep your mind open and maybe you'll learn something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:40 PM Flag
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thanks Mom, i'll keep it in mind [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:49 PM Flag
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NP: your reply is telling in that you seem quite enfantilized and this cemented it for me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:23 PM Flag
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Infantilized [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:23 PM Flag
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I would never associate with you in real life. I would never talk to you, and I would definitely think less of your DH because of you. Thanks for the freak show on UB though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:44 PM Flag
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hit a nerve much? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:50 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:52 PM Flag
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More like hit a bone. the funny bone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:24 PM Flag
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+1 her poor DH [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:52 PM Flag
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+1 on her poor DH. He's out all day at his middling job, no will left to argue with the non-earning wife who 'cleans' and does 'groceries' for 6.5 hours a day and points her crooked finger at moms with money [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:26 PM Flag
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So, so this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:30 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:33 PM Flag
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+4 He can find someone better [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:41 PM Flag
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I used to SAH, but now work because I need to. I am a realtor - I enjoy putting deals together but even more (I have hired several people in the past 2 years), I enjoy helping my hires become successful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:44 PM Flag
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You are allowed to enjoy what you do, even if it is not "meaningful", and you do not suck as a mom, because you fall within the "my paycheck puts food on the table". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:10 PM Flag
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Did your time machine break down and you cannot get back to the 50s? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:51 PM Flag
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+1 haha [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:53 PM Flag
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It's the Ghost of Betty Draper. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 03:56 PM Flag
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actually betty is more like you than me, she is just stuck in a time warp. but you probably knew that... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:01 PM Flag
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Who taught betty how to use the computer? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:01 PM Flag
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are you against farmers markets too? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:00 PM Flag
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Biglaw lawyer. And yes, I like my job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:03 PM Flag
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One HUGE benefit of WOH is not having to interact with dingbats like OP. When I did SAH, I had a hard time finding other SAHMs who were even a little bit interesting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:12 PM Flag
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I am a neurologist (epilepsy specialist) and I WOHM. I love my job so much and cannot imagine not working. I look forward to coming to work each day and feel so fulfilled. I am truly happy when I'm at work. I do miss my 2-year-old son, but I feel like he is well taken care of (he is with his grandparents 3 days a week and in daycare 2 days a week). My mom was a SAHM and I definitely grapple with not staying home. I LOVED having my mom at home when I was a kid (I remember walking home from school and being excited to see my mom), but I was never raised to want to be a wife/mother. My father was a physician and my sisters and I were all raised to be career oriented; we all have advanced degrees. I thought I would want to SAHM, but it just wasn't right for me. I think a lot of my identity and self-worth is focused around my career, which happens a lot with physicians (since we spend soooo many years in school and training). I am happier working. Even if I won the lottery I would not quit my job; I love it that much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:13 PM Flag
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You sound really cool. The world needs more people like you! :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:15 PM Flag
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Aww thanks!!! :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 06:25 PM Flag
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PP from above: I also work 7-3:30 and never work weekends so I get to spend lots of time with my little boy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:15 PM Flag
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that's so cool. what kind of setting do you work in? -another neurologist mom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 07:33 AM Flag
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MD mom here. I have thought this too. If I win the lottery I would keep doing my work. My work makes me who I am. I love being with my dc's, and I work 3-4 days a week since they are so young, but to give up my work altogether would be devastating to me. There are many MDs in my field still working a few days a week in their 70s and early 80s. It's not for the paycheck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 12:02 PM Flag
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Well Judgy McJudge, I feel sorry for your children having such a close-minded parent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:18 PM Flag
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Please please tell me you are not raising daughters. They will be so woefully unprepared for life in two or three decades from now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:38 PM Flag
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I'm a lawyer and my DH works for the city. We could "survive" on DH's salary but we have long term goals with respect to our family finances. Thus, I wouldn't say that my work is so meaningful and fulfilling as much as it serves a long term family goal. DH is considerably older than me (he's in his mid-60s). We have a six-year-old. DH will probably not be working (as much) when DD is a teen or even at college, so we need to consider finances in terms of decades as opposed to short-term. My job is okay but I'm happy with it for reasons other than self-fulfillment. It insures a certain stability given our specific family circumstances. We're not going to starve if I quit my job now, but my personality is such that I need to be mindful of things to come. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:50 PM Flag
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Whoa. Second marriage for him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 05:05 PM Flag
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No, we were married when he was 39 and I was 24. I didn't have DD until I was 42. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 05:05 PM Flag
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Interesting. Did you want kids earlier? Did he? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 06:38 PM Flag
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Given the spirit of this thread, I can't tell if you're trying to be snarking or asking genuine questions. That being said, both of us were sort of neutral about the idea for years. We were enjoying our lives the way it was but then over time and careful consideration, we decided to take the big plunge. Can't imagine life without DD now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 08:15 PM Flag
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Sorry, meant to spell "snarky." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 08:16 PM Flag
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Thanks. :) I have a hard time getting the "tone" on this forum unless it's super blantant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 11:18 PM Flag
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np - I was wondering the same thing in an unsnarky way. Just unusual situation. Thanks for answering. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 11:16 PM Flag
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Sorry, responded to my own post instead of yours. Please see above. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 11:36 PM Flag
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I'll play since I am at home recovering from the flu. I work 4 days a week as a physical therapist. I make an enormous difference in people's lives. When I arrive in their lives, they can't get up out of chair without help and when I leave their lives they can walk. I think it is a very meaningful profession and it is really quite easy on one's ego to know that they gave someone back their mobility in 3-4 weeks time. I never intended to stay at home, I invested a lot in my education and I intend to use it. Because my company allows you to remain full-time with benefits at 32 hours or more, I elected to stay home one day a week with the kiddo. While we could afford for me to SAH full-time I don't for a variety of other reasons. 1. I don't want to miss out on being able to contribute to my retirement since as a woman I am very likely to outlive my husband from a statistical standpoint. 2. I like what the extra income does for our family. For example, because of the extra income I am able to send my child to an excellent private school now that he is in preschool. He can attend this school until 12th grade as long as both parents stay employed. The alternative is to send him to our local public school were less than 50% of the children meet the minimal standards. I am proud to be in a position where I can give my child the type of education he is receiving and to give him the gift of fluency in another language through immersion. 3. That one day at home with him always proved to me that I was right to work. While I loved being with him, I have always known that I am better parent (more patience, more willing to be silly with him, ect., ect.) when I am not expected to be in mommy mode 24-7. I'm sorry if this is not something you can understand, or that the thought of people having needs that are perhaps different than your own is upsetting. It seems to me to be a very silly thing to be upset about. If you are happy doing what you are doing then continue doing it and don't waste energy on worrying or being upset by others that don't do it the same way. It just isn't very healthy to have vitriolic thoughts towards others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 04:57 PM Flag
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Love this post [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 12:41 AM Flag
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+ infinity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 03:04 AM Flag
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I am working to make the world a better place by helping to solve global problems of hunger, poverty, and environmental degradation. My daughter will follow in my path one day, to help keep our Earth habitable for her children and future generations. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 05:30 PM Flag
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One aspect that I never hear mentioned in these debates is how much harder it has been, throughout history, to be a SAHM than it is now. Times were when the work of a single household could consume the full-on labour of more than one woman a day. Kids then found a way to be useful, or were maintained by younger kids or older women in the household who weren't up to the work. The reason I bring this up is because it seems clear that your average woman can do a bit more than SAHM now requires, AND that kids in the pas tdidn't mostly have the type of child-centered upbringing that is what most parents reference when lauding the ethos of SAHM. That isn't to knock SAHM generally, because many do make themselves an asset to their children, and for some families (poor schools, multi-child, special needs) it is the best choice. I simply always wonder why this false dichotomy of either wage slavery vs. happy child-centric time is promoted. It is inaccurate and simplistic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 06:13 PM Flag
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That's a very good point. I look at my own grandparents who owned a general store (they lived upstairs) and grandmother's life certainly wasn't child-centric, although she was technically home all the time. She cooked meals for the employees who boarded with them, she helped run the store, her focus was on family survival. I don't think she was unusual for her time (early 1900's). They lived in a farming community where people worked hard whether you were a mom or dad and kids were not the primary focus. I think there is so much pressure on women these days (particularly SAHMs) to be fully invested in every part of their kids' lives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 06:27 PM Flag
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right, and historically moms haven't been so invested. either you were working -- outside th home or inside, and teaching your kid to do the same -- or richer people had governesses, tutors, nurses, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 06:49 PM Flag
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Except these days, regular people want rich lifestyle, so they have nannies, preschools, tons of activities and expensive classes for their kids, not to mention tutoring, sports, and college prep. Kids of middle class parents are not just playing underfoot like in old days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 08:04 PM Flag
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It depends on where you are, though, IMO. Rural kids are going to have a lot less access to this kind of stuff. They can roam wild in the fields because the fields are there and they are accessible. We live in a 1,000 sq foot apartment on a street that is a bus lane. I'm going to spend more time and money on making sure my kid gets access to sports than if I would if we live in the woods or even the suburbs. It's all relative. You can't base an entire population on an urban situation which calls for different measures. I was a rural kid myself. My family's life now is vastly different simply because where we live. We're not rich. I just don't want my kid to live a sedentary lifestyle because of her limited home/space environment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 12:23 AM Flag
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A lot of this is fueled by parents' fears for their children. I'm reading about college admissions right now. Parents, particularly in the East Coast are TERRIFIED that their kids won't go to a top college and get a good job. There is so much fear out there. Harvard, for example, could expand, but it won't because then they would have to admit a higher percentage of applicants and their rep would go down. Sick. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 03:41 PM Flag
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thank you for this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 06:29 PM Flag
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Excellent point. Also, I think the labor was also shared in a more communal way. So while women were working they tended to have more women around them meaning more support emotionally. They probably didn't find themselves as isolated as many SAHM with very young children can today. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 06:44 PM Flag
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There is a lot more pressure on parenting today, than it ever was among the non-wealthy. It's no longer ok to teach your kid some trade or labor type of work, like it was common in old days, now college is the level field. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 08:06 PM Flag
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Which is sort of silly when you think about it because tradesmen make good money and typically have very secure jobs. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 09:08 PM Flag
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And a lack of six-figure debt when they actually start working! My rational mind would be just as happy if my kid became a plumber as a doctor for that reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 11:18 PM Flag
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My brother is a master electrician and although it is good money, it is only good money when the work can be had. In good times he makes good money. In low economic times he is looking for work. It is the same as every other type of work dependent on the economy. It's only as secure as the market dictates. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 11:20 PM Flag
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True. Skilled trades are not the answer, sadly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 03:42 PM Flag
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Of course. In traditional societies, older kids take care of the younger ones. Just getting food to eat was a full time job for EVERYONE. Just surviving. OP seems to forget that. Life until recently was full of hard labor and severe food shortages. She's in la la land. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 03:39 PM Flag
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criminal attorney and i like it because i help people and i also get to fight the government. to me the work and my clients are fascinating, most of the time. I also like most of the people i work with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 06:34 PM Flag
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Maybe people who despise SAHMs had mothers who didn't work and stuck them in front of the tv and popped tranquilizers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 07:45 PM Flag
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And what do you do, OP, when your kids are in school all day? How do you fulfill yourself during the time you have all to yourself when you are not taking care of kids, please don't tell me you play Martha Stewart, licking your house clean every single day for hours and cooking 5 star entrees. Lots of SAHMs I know never go back to work even when their kids are teenagers, not to mention to to college. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 08:09 PM Flag
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Apparently she thinks about people who choose to lead their lives in a different way than she does and gets bitter and angry about it for some unknown reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 09:04 PM Flag
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The thing about having money is that it affords you choices. Staying home with babies and toddlers is really hard and a lot of women don't want to do it. Maybe they absolutley love their careers, or they like how working informs their relationship with DH, or they would just rather be anywhere else but caring for young children all day. It's not about whether or not the alternative to SAH is "meaningful". When you have resources, you can choose to do what you want. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 08:24 PM Flag
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Why, OP, are you only asking moms? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 09:18 PM Flag
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Surgeon. And I take care of my children, as does my husband. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 09:36 PM Flag
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Oncologist. Ditto. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 12:58 AM Flag
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SAHM weighing in - quit with the mommy wars! geez. as a woman i find your post offensive. let people do what they want to do as long as they and their families are happy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.31.13, 10:06 PM Flag
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This is the dumbest post ever. As if being a full time mommy is the most meaningful way to spend your time. And as if anyone needs to justify any other way they might want to spend their time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 01:06 AM Flag
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We're not "justifying" it. Just responding. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.02.13, 04:58 AM Flag
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College professor to working adults. Spend 4 days a week 27 hrs with intellectual stimulation and helping people people achice dreams. Rest time with dc. I'm good with that, so is dh and I don't care what you think. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 01:13 AM Flag
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Maybe for the sake of honesty you should tell us what did you do in your life prior to SAH. I am really curious. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 09:38 AM Flag
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earning her MRS, practicing BJs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 04:09 PM Flag
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np: I doubt she's a SAHM. Just a troll looking to stir the pot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 08:21 PM Flag
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I have my own business and work from home, but my earnings cover having childcare at my disposal 50 hours a week. DH travels a great deal for work. I feel proud that I have built a business, albeit a small one, and am a happier person than I would be without it as a creative/intellectual outlet. It makes me feel more confident than i would otherwise and I Like the income. Nannies are with my children a fair bit, but I see them during the day as well. Once they are all in school full time I will be very glad I didn't give it up when they were little because at times I have been very tempted. I try to be the Mom I would have loved to have. From a young age my mom focused little on having a career and She would have benefited from the social aspects of working and not being so dependent upon men. I hope some day that My dds don't have to be away from their small children too much, but hope that they are strong indépendant women AND nurturing mothers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.01.13, 11:16 PM Flag
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As a SAHM, I think I'm a great role model for my child. Teaching her to be responsible for lives she brings into the world instead of outsourcing it to others. Also, showing her how to be selfless, caring and loving. Those are not important attributes for most UBers, so it wouldn't matter to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.02.13, 04:25 AM Flag
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To me, I think when your kids are in school it's a bit lazy to be a SAH mom. When they're babies, it's fine but get a job and be something when they hit school age. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.03.13, 02:11 PM Flag
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