10 years with DH and I still don't feel like I've connected on a personal level with MIL. She is such a formal person, very proper, and it is difficult to even have a conversation with her. She will come over to visit, sit with her knitting, and just not talk to anyone. What can I do? Or just accept that this is the way it is?
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12.06.12, 08:17 PM
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your life will probably be easier if you just accept her. She doesn't sound actively annoying, and she isn't going to suddenly become chatty or informal at thsi point in her life.
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12.06.12, 08:19 PM
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Accept
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12.06.12, 08:20 PM
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Just accept it and not take it personally. At a certain age, some people no longer have that social desire, just set in their ways and enjoy their little bubble. That's cool.
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12.06.12, 08:20 PM
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If she isn't actively malicious, I'd let it be.
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12.06.12, 08:22 PM
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what more do you want?
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12.06.12, 08:25 PM
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Would like to feel close enough to her to reveal that FIL has been cheating on her for 10 years...
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12.06.12, 08:59 PM
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that's why she knits in silence.
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12.06.12, 09:00 PM
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OP - that was not me.
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12.06.12, 09:31 PM
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Be happy. Could be MUCH worse.
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12.06.12, 08:25 PM
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Tell her you've always been so impressed by her knitting and it's something you've always wanted to learn. Ask her to teach you how to knit. Repeat this with other things she likes or is interested in. I never had MIL issues but maybe it's because I tried to make sure she liked me from the beginning. I always complimented -er on being a great cook, which she honestly is. I always try to learn recipes from her. Besides that, I always offer to help around the house, with errands, etc. In return, my mother-in law, watches DD four to five days a week and loves to cook for us. :) We have dinner with them the days she watches DD and if I can't make it because I have to work late, she always sends food home with DH. I never have to worry about healthy home cooked meals.
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12.06.12, 08:27 PM
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leave the woman alone. sheeesh. she just wants to sit quietly.
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12.06.12, 08:27 PM
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this.
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12.06.12, 08:33 PM
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I've been with my dh for 16 years and I don't even talk to my mil on the phone. See her every year or two.
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12.06.12, 08:28 PM
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+1, 9 yrs
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12.06.12, 08:34 PM
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omg you are me!! i married a man whose mom is the uber-wasp (tho he's not thank god!).. but in the old fashioned sense (proud to be frugal, etc). when they come to visit she literally sits on my couch reading the NYT ALL DAY LONG. and some other assorted materials. hard to connect.
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12.06.12, 08:30 PM
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newsflash - you don't have to "connect". good grief.
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12.06.12, 08:36 PM
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np: You must be a WASP
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12.06.12, 08:38 PM
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lol. no - (black). just don't understand why you have to "connect" or any of that other bs. sorry
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12.06.12, 08:39 PM
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Np. You wouldn't try to connect with someone that sits on your couch all day several times a year??
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12.06.12, 09:14 PM
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she has tried, and the MIL isn't interested. Let her be.
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12.06.12, 09:21 PM
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pp: Some people believe that family is important and actually *gasp* want to connect to the person who birthed and raised their husband. It is only American culture that sees this as strange.
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12.06.12, 09:28 PM
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i'm not a WASP but i can see myself being this MIL.
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12.06.12, 08:43 PM
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i hope to be.
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12.06.12, 08:54 PM
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At least you know what to give her for Xmas.
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12.06.12, 08:52 PM
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accept it
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12.06.12, 08:40 PM
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+1 18 years. If left alone with this woman I would scream.
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12.06.12, 09:08 PM
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mine walked around in the nude and kissed my ex. on the freakin' lips. you've got it good, girl. buy her a gift card to Calico Corners and count your blessings.
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12.06.12, 09:38 PM
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Don't bother, just accept
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12.06.12, 10:09 PM
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