One thing that we can do is let our nannies know if they ever feel overwhelmed by the kids or the job, it's OK to park them in front of the TV or computer, put them in the crib even if they are screaming, close the door, go into anpther room and lie down for a while or listen to music, watch tv alone, call a friend, etc. They can even call you to come home if it gets too much. That you would never be upset or fire them if they needed to do this. Let them know you don't want them feeling stressed out at work.
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10.26.12, 02:45 PM
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get a freaking grip. that woman was mentally unstable. 99.9% of adults would never harm a child no matter how stressful their job or life. it was an unfortunate turn of events for the family but it was random bad luck that they ended up with a babysitter who looked put together enough but wasn't inside.
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10.26.12, 02:47 PM
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I agree--clearly this nanny had a severe future time orientation deficit. (Well, the suicidal behavior was a tip-off.) She basically threw away her entire future and committed an act of cruelty and aggression toward her employer as a final send-off. This woman had SEVERE problems. If you're dealing with someone who doesn't care about her reputation, her livelihood, and those in her care, all bets are off. Most people won't throw away everything of value in their lives like this. Those who will simply cannot be reasoned with.
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10.26.12, 02:51 PM
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but it is personally alarming because if a mentally unstable person works as an accountant/artist, she usually just takes her own life. but if she's a nanny, well, a lot more bad things can occur.
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10.26.12, 02:56 PM
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I agree. A nanny is basically a mom surrogate - the person you hope will treat your child as though dealing with her own baby.
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10.26.12, 02:55 PM
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to be fair, she might have taken her own kids if she had had them.
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10.26.12, 02:59 PM
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WOW. You know this how?
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10.26.12, 03:27 PM
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This is horrific. Labeling the nanny as unstable doesn't help. I think the KRIM's have enough sense not to hire a"crazy/unstable person" I think people snap. There are weird creepos out there that plan out disgusting thing----like the woman-eating cop--- but then there are normal people who are trying sooo hard and they snap (its not something our minds can get around) I am sure if you told to the nanny josie this story- she would be just as horrified. We need each other to protect ourselves from those moments.
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10.26.12, 02:54 PM
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I strongly disagree. She's old enough to be a grandmother. Would the grandmothers you know be capable of stabbing a 6-year-old to death?
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10.26.12, 02:54 PM
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she's 50 not 85
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10.26.12, 02:57 PM
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Could be a grandmother. My Hispanic hair-dresser is much younger and is a grandmother.
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10.26.12, 02:57 PM
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listen, man. 85 is not granny. that's like prehistoric (j/k). it's only granny nowadays because people are having kids so freaking late. my mom is only 80 but she is already great grandma three times over.
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10.26.12, 03:02 PM
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yeah, right. when people snap, they kill other people. no, when normal people snap, they don't show up for work or quit without notice or fall behind in rent or flunk out of school. they do not go and kill other people. you have to be mentally unstable to do that. maybe she was just severely depressed. that, too, qualifies as being mentally unstable. mentally unstable is anything that causes irrational behavior, such as thinking of taking one's life.
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10.26.12, 02:58 PM
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ita
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10.26.12, 08:57 PM
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This was not a bad day, overwhelmed kind of thing but a major psycotic episode. Who knows what was going on with this woman but it wasn't the sort of thing that could have been prevented by your suggestions...which, btw, might be very appropriate for a normal "bad day".
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10.26.12, 03:00 PM
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i think that's a very good point. many moms who don't stay at home with a child day in and day out, don't really understand the standards they set for their nannies can be too stressful. many nannies complain to me about what the parents expect of them. also, there are nannies who simply don't want to watch kids, they do it because it's the only thing they can do. they really hate it. i see that everyday too. having said that, i don't believe this was the case with this family. this nanny was part-time and the mother was very involved.
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10.26.12, 03:04 PM
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we should also keep in mind that nannies are wohm and just like many wohm, they might feel terribly guilty about having to leave their own children in the care of others to make a living. This may lead to resentment which has less to do with a nanny's charges but more to do with how she is coping with the limitations in her own life when it comes to caring for her own chidlren.
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10.26.12, 03:15 PM
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she is 50, not very likely she is leaving little children at home.
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10.26.12, 03:56 PM
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i was not referring to any nanny in particular nor am i trying to rationalize her actions. I offerred a general comment about nannies some of whom are wohm themseleves.
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10.26.12, 03:59 PM
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I agree! Why are people attacking you over this post?
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10.26.12, 03:15 PM
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OP: IDK. Maybe we are all on edge this morning. I didn't mean to come across as sanctimonious, and I know that this likely wouldn't prevent a crazy person from murdering anyway.
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10.26.12, 03:18 PM
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to op - there are people that are people who use anonymous boards such as this to rear their ugly head. please ignore them.
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10.26.12, 04:01 PM
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How can you even COMMENT at this point? Barely any information is available. It's way too early for you to get on your soap box at this point, you have zero idea of the details.
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10.26.12, 03:25 PM
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OP: whatever. I told my nanny this years ago when we hired her for my then 6 month old. Back then, there were 2 nannies in the news in the UK for shaking babies who then died. This was what concerned me back then.
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10.26.12, 03:25 PM
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Isn't that common sense? I was a nanny after college and one time the baby just would not stop screaming. I finally just put him in his crib and went into another room for 10 minutes because I couldn't make him stop crying and it was exasperating. He fell asleep eventually and everything was fine. I would think this is what most people would do with an inconsolable child?
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10.26.12, 05:18 PM
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