Sometimes I have felt I was missing something by not going back to work, but last night my husband said, I'm so grateful that you are willing to stay home with the kids, and I feel the same. You just never know when you leave your kids with someone. Look- they really "knew" this woman, went to the DR and stayed with her family, how much closer can you get to someone who works for you?? If you have a nanny, has this event raised your level of concern at all? I'm not judging those who do employ nannies, I know that for some people it is the right decision, I just think last night's event would've sent my anxiety through the roof about leaving my kids home with someone.
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10.26.12, 01:45 PM
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You are so awesome! You have made all the right choices! Nothing bad will happen to your children - ever - solely as the result of all your awesomeness and great choices! Was that sufficiently validating? Will you go away now?
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10.26.12, 01:50 PM
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I really like you! ;) xx
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10.26.12, 01:55 PM
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I like you
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10.26.12, 01:57 PM
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Thanks for that, could have not said it better.
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10.26.12, 02:58 PM
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I think you are a bitch.
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10.26.12, 03:26 PM
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Do you promise to post this every time there's one of the tragedies that impacts children? With CO shooting it was "how could they have brought their kids to a mightnight showing" with ct fire it was "How could she have run out of the house/not dealt with the embers?" Folks here want to have a way to feel like it could never happen to them so they criticize the person in the middle of the tragedy.
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10.26.12, 03:48 PM
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No. There are more stories of mom getting depressed and killing her own dcs. When that type of story comes out what will your dh say to you?
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10.26.12, 01:50 PM
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Amen
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10.26.12, 02:31 PM
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Right. Bad things can happen to anyone, no matter what choices they have made. I don't see any reason for any of us without nannies to be patting ourselves on the back. Sadly, tragedy can strike anyone. Typical reactionary response.
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10.26.12, 02:38 PM
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It's random. You could leave them with a a family member who does this.
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10.26.12, 01:53 PM
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Good for you that 2 murdered children helped improve your self-esteem.
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10.26.12, 01:52 PM
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+1
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10.26.12, 01:57 PM
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+1
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10.26.12, 01:57 PM
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actually, it doesn't improve my self esteem, just makes me feel a little less wistful for my career that has been put on hold. I recently saw another story on tv about a nanny cam that caught a nanny abusing a 6 month old. These are exactly the kinds of horrible stories that lead to my decision to stay home. It's horrible that these things really do happen, even if they are rare, but I was never able to come to terms with my own anxiety about them.
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10.26.12, 02:04 PM
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I see you are ignoring the earlier posters question about how you feel when sahms murder their children (which happens far more frequently than caregivers). Do you then wish you were a wohm who had a life outside of the home and wasn't frustrated and crazed being a sahm?
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10.26.12, 02:09 PM
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No, then I wish that someone could've intervened in time and helped that woman receive treatment for PPD or whatever was going on.
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10.26.12, 02:12 PM
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So you only have empathy for the woman who is "just like you". Shocker!
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10.26.12, 02:18 PM
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No. Of course I am wishing this tragedy may have been prevented by someone close to this woman noticing she needed help. And no one should have to suffer the horror of having her children brutally murdered and then having to walk in and find them. I feel empathy for all involved.
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10.26.12, 02:31 PM
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I am so sickk of hearing narcissitic idiots prattle on and on about all their "empathy" while gazing at their little Soul Cycled-navels.
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10.26.12, 02:31 PM
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so you are not allowed to be empathetic if you exercise regularly?
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10.26.12, 02:32 PM
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oh please. WOHMs can be just as sleep-deprived, crazed, and frustrated
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10.26.12, 02:13 PM
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But seems like most of child killing mothers are SAHMs?
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10.26.12, 02:32 PM
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Ignore the trolls. My only advice.
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10.26.12, 03:26 PM
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Unless you live near your parents/in-laws and they're retired and totally "with it" mentally, you HAVE to use babysitters at least some of the time. Growing up, I had some wonderful babysitters and at least one crazy babysitter. The crazy one told my brother that if he prayed to Jesus, he could walk on water. Otherwise the Devil would come and get him. Given that we were Jewish, my mother found this highly inappropriate and she very politely let the babysitter go. After being let go, the woman wrote us a long crazy hand-written letter detailing how she was trying to save us from the Devil.
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10.26.12, 01:53 PM
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I had this happen too - let her go :)
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10.26.12, 02:11 PM
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Yes I am a bit shaken up too- I've had the same nanny for 5 years now and she is like family-
I just cant believe it- this is just so very aweful! The nanny from DR was mentioned as "Josie"- and this ones name is Yoselyn- So maybe this one was a fill-in? or a new nanny?? Also I just read somewhere that Yoselyn's niece said she had been acting "off" lately and neighbours said she was quiet and just stared ahead.. So scary- I wonder if the 6 year old had been telling her mom something was not right? I must really trust our children and our instincts! And honestly it can never hurt to ask the doormen and neighbours to "keep an eye out" for you. This is just so so sad! Sigh- I wish I wish the kids would have survived! If only the mom came home a little earlier- why does god do these things- so sad!
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10.26.12, 01:53 PM
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I meant WE must trust our children!
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10.26.12, 01:56 PM
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So you NEVER EVER leave your DCs with a babysitter??
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10.26.12, 01:54 PM
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I actually do know people who have NEVER left their dcs with anyone other than family. I am sure they are secretly feeling vindicated and smug now, honestly.
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10.26.12, 01:57 PM
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That's pretty judgmental. I don't leave my children with people other than family, and I know that I am not the norm. This doesn't make me feel better than anyone, it's just what I'm comfortable with. It actually makes things much harder for me sometimes, bc I can't always have a sitter when I would like, sometimes I think it would be much easier to pay someone, but, like I said, I'm just not comfortable with it.
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10.26.12, 02:08 PM
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I think I worry MORE about the kids whose parents NEVER leave them with sitters than those who don't!
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10.26.12, 02:11 PM
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because no family member has ever abused or harmed a child. right.
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10.26.12, 02:43 PM
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Everyone occasionally needs some time away from their kids. We all use sitters, family, friends, to care for our kids. My DD almost drowned under full watch of family this summer. There are stories of friends/family abusing kids all the time. This is a terrible, unspeakable tragedy, but let's keep things in perspective. There is no way to protect yourself or your kids 100% from something awful happening...
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10.26.12, 01:57 PM
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SO TRUE
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10.26.12, 02:35 PM
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SO TRUE
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10.26.12, 02:35 PM
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yes i agree
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10.26.12, 02:39 PM
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Well said, thank you.
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10.26.12, 02:44 PM
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You also never know when you walk out the door. Either way, good for you and your husband. And you are judging just by posting this.
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10.26.12, 01:57 PM
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Wait to see the tune your husband sings in a few years when you bore the Hell out of him and a spritely young thing at the office reminds him of what it is to be young and alive. That would send my anxiety through the roof. Cheers!
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10.26.12, 02:30 PM
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I'm sorry, but why is my husband bored with me?
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10.26.12, 02:41 PM
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np - Because if you NEVER take time away from your kids, then you have no interests of your own, clearly don't keep yourself up and have no life outside of the home.
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10.26.12, 03:23 PM
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lol, I'm not sure how you could infer all that from my post, none of it happens to be true.
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10.26.12, 03:34 PM
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And yet, everyone of the husbands says it. Bye bye miss American pie.
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10.26.12, 11:46 PM
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Again, I think those attacking you are either trolls or guilty about their own situations.
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10.26.12, 03:25 PM
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So your husband is stupid?
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10.26.12, 03:27 PM
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I agree with you 100%
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10.26.12, 03:27 PM
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The women that post bad things about you are just trying to justify to themselves that they dont love money more than their own kids. God bless you!
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10.26.12, 03:58 PM
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How can you realistically not use babysitters? Not possible in my opinion. Also, its good for your kids to have dealings with people other than immediate family. What happened was absolute , gut wrenching tragedy - but you don't base how you live your life on 1 horrific tragedy
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10.26.12, 04:33 PM
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np: Your kids have dealings with non-family members all the time, don't they? School, etc?
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10.26.12, 09:52 PM
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