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09.28.12, 01:33 AM General Topics
133 replies
I earn 200k and my DH earns 200k. Total HHI is 400k. We have 2 children. We could afford to send them to private school, but we would have to scrape and forego a lot (especially since our HHI is only 350k after nanny) and we would not qualify for financial aid. However, if I quit my job and became a SAHM, we would have a HHI of 200k, which would put us in the realm of financial aid (AND we could save the 50k+ cost of having a nanny). I am not going to quit my job to orchestrate this, but I resent the fact that private tuition is so high, in part because the people who pay are financing the tuition of the people who don't pay (including families with 200k HHI and SAHMs). This is all just so screwed up. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 09.28.12, 01:33 AM Flag
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How can you resent something that is not a right? You don't *have* to send your children to private in NYC. You have a lot of different options: public in NYC, private in more reasonably priced city, public in suburbs, etc. Plus, I sincerely doubt that a family with HHI 200k and a SAHM is getting that much financial aid. And your assumption that tuition covers their financial aid is false. Full tuition doesn't even cover the cost of your child's education. The difference and financial aid come from the endowment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:36 AM Flag
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you can't resent something that isn't a right? what??? would love to hear you back that one up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:15 AM Flag
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This post is so wrong. PRIVATE schools can charge and accept whomever they choose. That's why they're private. I sure hope my dcs don't go to school with yours. Signed, WOHM who could care less and thinks you should worry about things that are truly unfair in life. THIS is not one of them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:38 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:39 AM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:43 AM Flag
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couldn't care less. could care less makes you sound dumb [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:53 AM Flag
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You're right, I typed too fast. The fact that you bothered to respond to that makes me think you're a miserable bit** who needs a life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:56 AM Flag
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testy testy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:05 AM Flag
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defensive defensive [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.29.12, 01:04 AM Flag
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well, a lot of the FA families might have a lot less than 200k HHI. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:37 AM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:39 AM Flag
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I don't think this is what OP is talking about. She is not complaining about those who are truly poor or LMC, she is bringing example of families where both parents have high earning potential (jobs over 100K a year), but choose to SAH to lower the income to qualify for FA. My situation is similar to OP, and sure as hell I would love to have another kid, SAH and quit the job I hate and have a free ride to private schools without worrying about suburban commutes or playing the charter/magnet school game. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 04:58 PM Flag
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This post makes me sick. I don't even know where to begin... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:40 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:47 AM Flag
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NP: thank you. I feel less alone now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:43 AM Flag
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Schools take into account the earning potential of the mother. 200k w/ a SAHM isn't getting FA. You're rich at 400k and rich at 200k. Accept the fact that you're rich. If you're struggling on 400k you need a remedial course in personal finance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:40 AM Flag
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feel free to tell us how one would afford 2 kids in private on 400k and a 2-income family (i.e., a need for child care) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:54 AM Flag
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We make 300 - 350 w/ 2 kids in private and save 50k a year. You're doing it all wrong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:21 AM Flag
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you don't live in NYC, you get help from grandparents, or you don't pay for school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:23 AM Flag
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^ or you were given a home and you therefore don't pay rent or mortgage [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:22 AM Flag
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We purchased our apartment - nobody gave us a red cent. We help MIL who struggles. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:36 AM Flag
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you purchased the apartment and have no mortgage? sorry but something is not right here. also, you help MIL. see math that another poster did below. the math doesn't really come close to adding up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:38 AM Flag
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Yes- we are big savers. We do have a mortgage, but have investment income that throws off a higher rate - we can pay off the mortgage if needed tomorrow. People live way above their means. The fact that anyone thinks that 350k isn't enough to live in Manhattan is insane... we have a very comfortable life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:44 AM Flag
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HA! 300k is 150 after taxes, health benefits, FICA, etc. in NYC. 150 minus 80k (tuition) = 70k . 70k minus 50k (savings) = 20k. this means you live in NYC on about $1800/month. what do you pay $900/month in rent? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:26 AM Flag
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We don't rent. It would be ridiculous to rent on our income unless we thought we were moving in the next 1-2 years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:37 AM Flag
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if you live in NYC, you'd have to pay taxes and maintenance. sorry, but the numbers simply don't add up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:39 AM Flag
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lol yeah and she also claims to provide financial assistance to MIL. i'm not wasting my time with this one. she is clearly lying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:39 AM Flag
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You pay 50% in taxes? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:44 AM Flag
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taxes (federal, state, and NYC), health benefits, disability, FICA - yep about 52%. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 03:55 AM Flag
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she just doesn't understand effective tax rate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 05:47 PM Flag
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see above. reading is your friend. and you don't seem to understand that there is more than just federal income taxes. there are state taxes. there are city taxes. there is FICA and SS. And, as she said above, it's after health benefits and disability. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 08:05 PM Flag
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This is absolutely false. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:26 AM Flag
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Easy, just pretend your hhi was 300k and school was free for the kids. And, bam, there you have it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:27 AM Flag
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this makes no sense. are you missing a word or a thought? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:30 AM Flag
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NP: makes sense to me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:45 AM Flag
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OMG. NO sense! I have a weird bark fetich. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 03:33 AM Flag
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fetish? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 04:23 AM Flag
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We do it. You don't need a full-time nanny. A part-time college kid for after school works well for us. Need to do a lot of logistical planning that makes my head hurt, but it's all doable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 03:06 AM Flag
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You learn that a world exists outside of "south of 125th street in Manhattan" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 03:38 PM Flag
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Where are you getting the info that families with 200K HHI and a SAHM are getting financial aid? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:41 AM Flag
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If your HHI is 200K you will still pay significant portion of the tuition, even if you get some FA. Especially with only one person working. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:45 AM Flag
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I think they tack on a salary for SAHM - something like 50K? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:45 AM Flag
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I get what you are saying. We are a dual income family earning $150k each with 3 dc. Don't forget that if you SAH that will be counted as 50k potential income and you will not get aid with 250k income [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:46 AM Flag
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^^i will be flamed more than you op for saying this but if I lost my job a year before 2 out of 3 kids need to apply to school I would probably SAH and see if we can qualify for FA since our zoned school is horrible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:49 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:05 AM Flag
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This is pretty much my same financial situation too. Except 140k me/260k dh. We opted for public. Aside from the cost, i hate the bs that comes w applying etc. I love working and having my own money, do I'd never quit. We just took our money and bought in a good zone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:45 AM Flag
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np: If you're married to someone, then your money should be theirs too. I work and my dh is a SAHD for the time being. We're a team. What's mine is his. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:48 AM Flag
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Of course its ours, but I would never have to ask him before I buy something. And every couple had the right to manage their money in a way that works for them. I'm not criticizing your arrangement, even though it would absolutely not work for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:50 AM Flag
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my dh doesn't have to ask me before he buys anything. I trust him completely. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:53 AM Flag
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Good for him. But I don't see the need to question someone else's situation, when it's not your marriage and it works just fine for us. And has for many yrs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:56 AM Flag
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Yeah whatever [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:13 AM Flag
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Blah blah blah. Whatever. I'm with OR. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 03:38 PM Flag
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You are ridiculous. And need a reality check. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:54 AM Flag
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ENOUGH WITH THESE POSTS. LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS. YOU HAVE NO GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO LIVE IN NYC, EMPLOY A NANNY, SEND DCS TO PRIVATE SCHOOL, ETC. ETC. MAKE DO WITH WHAT YOU HAVE, OR FIGURE OUT HOW TO EARN MORE. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:56 AM Flag
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amen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:58 AM Flag
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and sure, go ahead and have 3 kids if you like, but don't expect me to pay for their private school education. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:04 AM Flag
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This!! But having too many kids is not seen as someone not living within their means. That's just seen as something that makes you eligible to collect from the rest of us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:08 AM Flag
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+1 !!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:22 AM Flag
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but the people who make 100k do apparently have that g-d-given right because that's how the system is set up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:04 AM Flag
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No, they don't - unless they've got a very low maintenance apt. fully paid for, they're not living in Manhattan - and certainly not getting 100% FA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:22 AM Flag
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you'd be surprised. there is a mom here, living in a 2BR public housing apartment near lincoln center and sending her 2 DCs to a "TT" private school on full financial aid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:27 AM Flag
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np: good for her! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:38 AM Flag
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You think it's good that someone can live in Lincoln Center in a 2 BR apartment and get 2 free rides to private school? I'm scared for your ability to analyze this situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:41 AM Flag
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You are so right. Families bringing in $400k are the ones that need financial help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:45 PM Flag
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no, they don't need financial help. but this other person shouldn't be getting this level of help. these things are luxuries, not rights. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 03:31 PM Flag
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Uh, you'd be right, if the gov't was funding her kids' TT education but it's not. A private endowment is and they have every right to decide who's worthy. You are not being forced to subsidize this. You can take your $$ and go somewhere that you approve of how they handle FA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 10:10 PM Flag
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What's the government, dummy? It's an amalgamation of the people (some of whom are paying this person's tuition bills and others of whom cannot afford to send their children to this school because the tuition is artificially inflated due to the fact that each parent is paying a part of this tuition bill. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.02.12, 03:53 AM Flag
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Living in the projects behind Lincoln Center is not the same thing and you know it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 06:52 PM Flag
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i'll take it plus free private ed for 2 kids for a grand total of $500/month [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 08:06 PM Flag
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Yes, good for her. Why would you have a problem with this? God, I hope my kids don't go to school with yours. UGH. You represent everything that is wrong with this country. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:47 AM Flag
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hi, you know even people who can pay full freight don't always get in to a good private school -- too many kids chasing too few spots. Don't feel that bad, your kids will be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:08 AM Flag
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A school should never give FA to a family where one parent does not work unless there are extenuating circumstances like a SN child. What bullshit. Get over yourself or decide to make the sacrifice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:14 AM Flag
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well they do. i know because my DH makes 110k and I SAH and my DCs receive full FA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:22 AM Flag
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You stay at home while your kids are in school and ask for FA? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:38 AM Flag
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Yes, and I receive it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:42 AM Flag
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^ they assume that i would earn something like 40,000. so, they treat me like my household income is 150k, which is low enough to qualify for nearly full FA (we have 3 children). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:45 AM Flag
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So, you are a leach, who is abusing the system, how do you feel about that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 04:50 PM Flag
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no one else in this post seems to have a problem with it. they are all saying it's fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 08:07 PM Flag
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Why not? (NP here). I wouldn't make enough to cover before and after school child care... or I'd basically break even. I'd rather be with my kids, then work to pay someone else to watch them. What is the problem with that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:49 AM Flag
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You are a leech, that the problem. Not because you choose to stay with your kids, but because you think your kids are entitled to a public school, which you should pay for yourself by going to a job like the rest of us. Want to SAHM? No problem, send your kids to public schools or move to the burbs, problem solved. There are those of us who also want to stay home with our kids, but have to subsidize yours, that's the problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 06:32 PM Flag
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^^ I mean to say private school. You feel entitled to provide private top school education to your kids without working for it, that's the problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 06:34 PM Flag
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1) It's not your right to have private school and 2) SAHM have an imputed income for FA, probably around $50K. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:16 AM Flag
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(1) people can complain about things that aren't a constitutional right and (2) 50k is jack [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:21 AM Flag
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50 after taxes, etc. is maybe 35k. Plus, she has to now pay for childcare, travel to and from work, extra care when her kids are sick, etc. Truly, how does this help? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 02:49 AM Flag
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I think a private school has the right to accept who they damn well please. If they see a real superstar dc who will be a credit to their school and who they think will go far in life and donate $$ someday, then of course they should accept that dc. I'd want my child to be in his/her class too. It's not the fault of a child what their parent chooses to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 03:18 AM Flag
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dumbass, FA has nothing to do with superstars. it's purely "needs" based. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 03:56 AM Flag
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Why do you pay your nanny 50K a year when your kids are in school full time? That's over $950 a week, way above the going rate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 04:21 AM Flag
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Maybe she pays taxes. Imagine that! And she doesn't say that her children are both in school yet. If she is thinking about these things she prob has kids ready to go to school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 01:07 PM Flag
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Trying living within your means. You're the one who is completely screwed up crying over your $400k HHI, nanny and 2 private school tuitions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 03:37 PM Flag
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I hear you OP. It's messed up that slightly higher earning people struggle to send their kids to private schools and have to subsidize those who essentially have the same earning potential. I was shocked when I realized there are people with healthy 6 figure incomes getting FA! WTH? I would think LMC people would be the ones private schools would sponsor. I am not trying to generalize and I understand some families are in circumstances that deserve FA and their kids have certain needs that cannot be satisfied in a public school. But, I think those with 200K HHI who feel entitled to send their snoflake to a top private school are leaches. they are working the system at expense of others, who are not really rich themselves and have to work their butts off to afford full private school tuition. these leaches instead should send their kids to public school, there are plenty in Manhattan or move to the burbs like the rest of honest people. You have to pay to play. Charity is for truly poor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 04:41 PM Flag
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"Struggle"? If you choose to spend your high HHI, which results in you have little left over for tuition, that does not mean you're "struggling." To apply your own logic, the same family living in Queens and wears Gap have more money to spend. Why should THEY subsidize the same HHI in Manhattan? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 04:49 PM Flag
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You are missing the point here. 2 private school fees and a part time nanny will be 100K a year. This is at least 150K salary if not more, which means if woman earns this much, she might as well quit and try to get financial aid. All in all, it will be a wash, becasue everything the woman is earning will be pretty much spent on private school and nanny/tutors, etc. Family 1 chooses to contribute to society, work, pay taxes and employ someone else like a nanny and pay their way, not expect handouts. Family 2, chooses to have one stay home parent, having a nice life, chilling at home, while kids are at school, not employ another person and have others subsidize their snowflakes way through TT schools they are NOT ENTITLED TO! This is all with the same DHs income under 200K. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 05:37 PM Flag
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^^ This is a loophole, people, don't you see? These families that get subsidized are not poor, they are able to collect decent 6 figure salaries and would be an UMC household if both choose to work. Being as SAHM is a luxury, sending your kid to private school is a luxury. These are LUXURIES of others that we, people who pay full tuition subsidize. I am not complaining and can afford my lifestyle, we also save like crazy and shop at discount stores for clothes and furniture, we rent and we own a 10 year old car parked on the street. It just pisses me off, that I could effectively, chill out at home and we still would not be behind in our savings and kids would still go to private school if I choose to be a leech. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 05:40 PM Flag
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Obviously the TT school feels they are entitled to it or otherwise wouldn't be admitting them and giving them a free ride. If the school feels snowflake will enhance the student body enough that they are willing to admit him/her knowing full well there won't be any major donations coming from the family, snowflake apparently brings a lot to the table. Perhaps having a SAHM instead of a nanny contributed to that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 08:51 PM Flag
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Yeah right, keep thinking you have a special snowflake. You are just playing the system, why don't you admit it. Just be honest, you found a loophole and taking advantage of it. I am not denying that you must have spent a lot of energy applying to all these schools, a lot more I bet than actually teaching your kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 09:11 PM Flag
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LOL. Actually, I've got no skin in this game. Don't even live in NYC. We don't even have TT schools where I live. DD does go to private but not competitive at all. Just seems stupid to bitch about families receiving FA -- obviously the school knows what's best for it's student body. If 99x3's are getting turned down, then snowflake apparently brings something to the table the school wants badly enough to subsidize tuition. Given the competitive nature of admissions and the financial realities privates face, if you have 2 DCs who are equal in both hard and soft factors, one with parents able to pay and one needing FA, the FA DC is not going to get in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 09:46 PM Flag
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^^oh, and I work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 09:47 PM Flag
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I think the problem here is that private schools pretend like they want to help the disadvantaged kids with their scholarships, while in reality they don't want any potential problems poor kids can bring. So, they distribute their FA to the kids of educated and aggressive moms, who tutor them for admissions. At least these kids won't be having issues or bringing the scores down, it's all hypocrisy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 10:41 PM Flag
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Apparently not, since above poster was complaining about the woman living in the projects who had the nerve to be sending her children to a TT school on FA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 08:48 PM Flag
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I am not complaining about people living in projects, I am complaining about people who would have had a pretty high HHI by anyone's standard if both parents worked and who are playing the system to take the spots away from truly poor people. FA is designed for the kids that are disadvantaged and would otherwise have shot at better future, that's what I strongly believe in. Not the special snowflakes of UMC parents with graduate degrees, who tutor their kids to the teeth anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 09:13 PM Flag
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I am not complaining about people living in projects, I am complaining about people who would have had a pretty high HHI by anyone's standard if both parents worked and who are playing the system to take the spots away from truly poor people. FA is designed for the kids that are disadvantaged and would otherwise have shot at better future, that's what I strongly believe in. Not the special snowflakes of UMC parents with graduate degrees, who tutor their kids to the teeth anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 09:14 PM Flag
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I am not complaining about people living in projects, I am complaining about people who would have had a pretty high HHI by anyone's standard if both parents worked and who are playing the system to take the spots away from truly poor people. FA is designed for the kids that are disadvantaged and would otherwise have shot at better future, that's what I strongly believe in. Not the special snowflakes of UMC parents with graduate degrees, who tutor their kids to the teeth anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 09:14 PM Flag
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I hear that you love your children and want the best for them. Just remember that in every country around the world, almost every family is scraping and forgoing a lot in order to give their children the best opportunities possible. A few families are able to get the best of everything without feeling a pinch, but living in NYC it's easy to forget that those folks are outliers. I really recommend you read "Behind the Beautiful Forevers" - it will make you feel a lot better about your situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 05:30 PM Flag
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i agree with op and i don't feel bad about my situation. you don't need to forget that there are people starving with no opportunities to point out that there are others who are taking advantage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 08:10 PM Flag
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Private schools are the realm of rich people. You want to swim in the big fish pond, you gotta pay. If you're pulling ni $400K and you're "struggling" (which is insane to begin with), find a way to economize. Stop spending so much cash on mani/pedis, fancy clothes, fancy vacations, second home, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 05:48 PM Flag
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Why? so that I can sponsor lazy leech moms who want to lounge around in front of the TV all day while their kids are in a top private school our money subsidizes? What I do with my money is my own damn business. I surely don't want to pay charity to those who essentially make the same money I do and can, but choose not to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 06:38 PM Flag
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Well maybe the mom in Astoria is similarly pissed off about supporting YOUR lifestyle in tribeca [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 08:15 PM Flag
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How is some mom in Astoria possibly supporting my lifestyle, and I don't live in Tribeca BTW. I wake up and go to work every day to earn a salary which essentially is going towards paying private school fees and a part time babysitter. I get zit left after this, so I actually work at a job that I don't necessarily admire just to send my kids to school. Reading the OP's post I realize that apparently I am a fool because I could be staying home instead and be able to qualify for the FA with just DHs salary. I pay taxes and provide a job for someone else, not lounge around as a SAHM with kids in school and not suck away FA that should be used to help truly disadvantaged kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 09:19 PM Flag
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Maybe if you weren't so elitist about sending your kids to private school, you could stay home and raise them yourself, rather than letting a stranger raise them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.01.12, 09:51 PM Flag
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asshat, she said she would have to struggle to send 2 kids to private plus cover childcare since school doesn't meet every day, it gets out at 3 pm, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 08:10 PM Flag
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So, do I, asshat, that's the point. My entire salary is going towards paying for school and a nanny to take care of kids after school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 09:24 PM Flag
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Read your original post, dummy. You're making less and less sense. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.02.12, 03:55 AM Flag
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2 mil mom, what do you consider yourself? UMC? UC? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 05:50 PM Flag
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Income is imputed for SAHM. So don't worry, 200k HHI with SAHM will not get FA. Both parents working with 200k HHI may get some (not nearly 50%) FA from top schools with big endowment. But all most with less than TT endowment, they would not get any either. So rest assured, you need not resent anyone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 07:14 PM Flag
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How much is imputed for SAHM? Does anyone know for sure? DF told me about 50k for "normal" SAHM and as much as 100k for "professional" SAHM who could earn much more. Is that true? So if OP becomes SAHM, 200k + 100k imputed = 300k, no FA. Even if only 50k is imputed, 250k, no FA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 07:19 PM Flag
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What do you and your DH do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 08:11 PM Flag
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In the immoral words of most of the snobs here and their husbands, "if you can't afford kids, don't have them." You guys are so out of touch with reality it sickens me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 08:49 PM Flag
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I would never say this. But I will say this. If you cannot afford to send your kids to a private school, then send them to a public school, I do and other families do too and we are quite well with that. You want luxury treatment for your kids, then go ahead and earn it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.28.12, 09:27 PM Flag
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Everything is a trade-off- grow up. Private school isn't necessary- I went to NYC public schools and turned out just fine. Maybe even great. We earn a lot less than you and are considering private school, but we're not at all materialistic so we don't spend money on clothes, gadgets, cable, cell phones, etc. If you prioritize school then you will scrimp and save for it. If you don't, then why bother? You can't have it all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.29.12, 12:25 AM Flag
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To the original poster: Seriously - get a grip on reality. At $400k household income, you are earning 8 TIMES the national median, and almost twice whsat you ened to get into the top 2% of the country. Which would mean you're probably in the 99th percentile. Or, in Occupy-speak, you are a 1%er. Whether you have worked to get there or not is irrelevant. That you pay your taxes is not the issue. What is absolutely ridiculous is that you come to a mothering forum, with a post-tax income of around $200k a year after paying the nanny, and claim that you do not have enough to send your children to private school without "scraping" or having to "forego a lot". Pray, tell me, just what is it that you are struggling to forego for the sake of your children's future? Do you really value your children's education less than these things? You are apparently a person without perspective, with an utterly abhorrent set of priorities. No amount of inherited wealth will make up for the damage you are sure to do to your children. But then, it doesn't sound as though you're going to leave very much for them, are you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.01.12, 09:38 PM Flag
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I am so sorry, but I found this post through a news site and I had no choice but to make what I feel is a very important comment. I sometimes feel that aid systems are unfair also. I make 35,000 a year. I have two small children. My "dh" disappeared when my daughters medical bills rolled in. See, my 3 year old angel has cancer. I work over 60 hours a week, my youngest has been shuffled from relative to relative while I try and make it to all medical appts. I don't qualify for aid, I don't even qualify for food stamps. I am frustrated too. If my daughter makes it, she probably won't be able to attend public school. I guess my problems are pretty insignifigant in comparrison to yours, but even though this month we are living off of lentils and not able to buy any meat, we are pretty blessed. Because, darlin', if this is the shit that keeps you awake at night... get down on your knees and give a big thanks to your creator because you have no idea of what it means to be a parent, no idea what it means at all and you make me want to cry. I have lost all hope in humanity. I pray you never have to know what it is like to watch what really matters slip away from you day by day. All the money in the world wont matter then. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.02.12, 03:26 AM Flag
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I'm sorry for all you're going through. But there is always someone less fortunate than the last person. I'm sure there are plenty of ppl out there who would trade with you in a second. So does that mean that you have no right to speak your mind? Under your line of reasoning, that's exactly what it means. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.02.12, 03:57 AM Flag
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Are you really insinuating that anyone would actually chose to watch their child die? Just because you have a right to speak your mind doesnt mean you should. i am sorry i posted at all. i need no more heartache in my life. you are a sad bitter person with skewed priorities. i hope your children manage to rise above you. May God bless and keep your family. I really thought such vile and malicious selfishness was fiction. i have very little time left with my family... no one here is worth arguing with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.02.12, 04:44 AM Flag
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You have a younger child. Someone else who has 2 sick children might trade with you. Or the orphans starving to death in Africa might prefer to have lived their years here. Again, I'm sorry for what you're going through, but you can't use your story as the bottom line to every argument. Just because the issues discussed here aren't earth-shattering, doesn't mean they can't be discussed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.02.12, 04:49 AM Flag
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you are twisted [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.12.13, 04:50 PM Flag
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In all seriousness you really can't afford to raise two kids in private schools on 400k and live in NYC. Having said that... First off your argument is the dumbest I have ever seen. The cost per child in private non profit schools is higher than the cost of tuition. Tuition does not pay for financial aide. Financial aide is paid for by endowments, scholarships, and donations. So have no fear you are not paying for those lucky stay at home mothers. Although a good shrink could help you through the jealousy issues. Although at an elite private school I think with you and your husband's paltry incomes I think jealousy is going to be a much bigger issue. Although I think not of the SAHM, but of the people who so much more successful than you and your husband. I think you will also be quite jealous of your children by the time they hit the third grade and have the ability to read the brochure or website of the school they are going to, as you did not. It will be very sad for you when they are reading at a higher level than you, you won't be able to help them with their homework, since they'll be so much more educated than you. So clearly there are only one choice for you. Move to a suburb with a good school district, and spend the rest of the money on a good psychiatrist and a tutor for yourself because reading is fundamental. NYC luxury apartments and private schools aren't for everyone. What will you do when the kids friends go off to St Barths and Anguila for winter break, Aspen for spring break, the summer camps, the customary end of summer trip to Europe. Would you really deprive your kids of summer in the riviera? Of course the other choice is for you or your dear husband to get better jobs and make more money. Just out of curiosity did you expect sympathy here with this complaint? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.02.12, 04:14 AM Flag
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Wow you are stupid. Economics 101. Money is fungible. The endowment does not operate in a vacuum. Nor does the students' payment (or non-payment) of tuition. I wouldn't even know where to start with you. I'm not OP btw. Just a passer-by pointing out how ironic it is to watch as a stupid person tries to tell someone else that they're stupid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.02.12, 04:28 AM Flag
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Not sure what an OP is. I'm just a dick who doesn't feel bad for someone with a 400k income complaining that they might be (but aren't) subsidizing a family with a stay at home mom who makes 200k. She and her husband are not paying for anyone else's children. They are not even covering the cost of their own children, wait I'm sorry Dear Children. As someone with a far larger income who understands exactly how FA and finances of these schools works. By the way not a parent, just an involved donating alumni. So I guess I might be paying for DC in part whether she knows it or not. There are stories I could tell of real drive and determination on the part of special parents, families and kids who have earned a chance at the best education that can be provided. The story of two mediocre people who can't figure out how to live on 400k with all the entitlement of a teen pop star is not one of those stories. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.02.12, 04:43 AM Flag
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Oh my, you really don't get it. You don't get it to the point that you don't even understand what "money is fungible" means. Yikes for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.02.12, 04:50 AM Flag
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Her point is that they ARE subsidizing others. And of course they are. If they weren't paying tuition, the school wouldn't be so free with its endowment. And where do you think the endowment comes from. A dollar is a dollar. It doesn't matter whether I paid it, you paid it, or one of us found it in the gutter. Sorry, but she is right. It's a zero sum game. If it costs $2 and one person doesn't pay, everyone else pays a little more. The endowment could be used to make the facilities better but it's instead used to pay the child's tuition. That's the simplest example. Money IS fungible. Sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.02.12, 04:54 AM Flag
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Exactly. Money has to come from somewhere, and usually if the costs of running an establishment increase, then the customers of the establishment get to pay more. The costs of tuition are going up, not down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.02.12, 06:14 PM Flag
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Jealousy is not a one dimensional thing. You have to be completely dumb to be jealous of the upper crust of rich when you are in the UMC range. That's like being jealous of people born beautiful when you are ugly, you can't change your genetics. Being this rich is unattainable for UMC people and jealousy in this sense is completely irrational. However, being jealous about someone who is making the same, has similar education, employment opportunities, etc, but figures out a way to mooch off the system is completely rational as this particular course of action is actually attainable. I could choose to quit my job and concentrate my energy on receiving FA for my snowflake to go receive what essentially is a luxury, only those paying customers should be entitled to. Ok, maybe special kids and of course the disadvantaged kids who are deserving of a chance. You know what? thank you for showing me the way, I think I am going to try it. As far as working harder to be ridiculously rich, you either think we are morons or you must be a moron yourself. That's not how this type of money is made. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.02.12, 06:23 PM Flag
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Hi, my name is Casey Smith and I'm from a production company called Punched in the Head Productions. I'm casting a new documentary series about Parenting and think you may be the perfect fit! Please contact me at casting@punchedinthehead.com if you are interested. If you are interested in looking us up, please visit punchedinthehead.com/casting. Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.02.13, 04:50 PM Flag
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