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07.22.12, 20:18 PM General Topics
72 replies
I am sure this has been done to death, but someone please tell me this is NOT Marissa Mayer (sp?) first child she is carrying. Otherwise, UGGGHH...bad for all women. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.22.12, 08:18 PM Flag
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It's her first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:19 PM Flag
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why [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:20 PM Flag
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She has no CLUE what she is getting into. This is terrible. If it had been her second or third child, I'd say ..YEAH!, she knows what is like to have a high pressure job and a baby. Now, it could be a complete disaster...she could just fold like sooo many first time moms in high pressure jobs. I am talking about those making $300K plus. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:25 PM Flag
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why will she fold? not all moms at the $300K plus level do- i have one friend who got promoted right before having a baby, got promoted a year after having the baby, and then had another baby. and then switched jobs at a very high level. she makes a ton more than 300K. and she travels a lot. and her kids are great. her secret isn't so secret- great husband, really good childcare, loves what she does, really good at time management. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:30 PM Flag
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I can possibly see this working if her DH were a SAHD. I read he's some cheese at a fledgling venture capital firm specializing in technology. No way is he staying home and helping to keep things together on the domestic front. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:36 PM Flag
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this is why people have nannies [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:37 PM Flag
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Not quite. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:39 PM Flag
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are you Marissa's mom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:31 PM Flag
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I don't have a problem with her deciding to take only 2 weeks leave. I understand her situation in a new highly visible job, but I do have a problem with people using her as an example and thinking that because some women in very high profile careers with the flexibility to have help and schedule their work around their lives can forego maternity leave all working women should. Also, I can't believe she's saying this after never actually had a child. That first kid is a total shock to the system! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:26 PM Flag
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Two weeks is nuts. I was still a leaking disaster at two weeks postpartum and sitting in a sitz bath. Of course she'll have round the clock help and not have to do anything so it probably won't be as bad for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:32 PM Flag
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This is what bothers me. Not that she is taking just 2 weeks but that this is going to set a precedent where people start saying that maternity leave is a "luxury" and women who care about their careers just shouldn't take one at all, hence why bother providing it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:38 PM Flag
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I don't disagree, but then again, should she have to bear that burden? I think she is crazy, because I wouldn't dream of it, bht truly we should eaxh be free to make the right choice for ourselves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:42 PM Flag
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OR: That's what I am saying. I respect and admire her decision, but corporate America should not then use these examples to say that women don't need maternity leave. Especially, because, quite frankly, Mayer is in a privileged position that most mothers are not in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:48 PM Flag
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Exactly. Most women have to actually take care of their newborn while their own body heals in the postpartum period. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:54 PM Flag
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I am a CEO of a comparatively TINY company, but I set up a good team for coverage, took four months off, and had weekly conference calls to check in. It worked, and I wouldn't trade thise months for anything. Her loss! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:56 PM Flag
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Good for you and congrats on your success too! I think because we are women society expects us to all feel the same way about everything, but there is no such expectation of men and that is part of the reason why women are pitted against each other for choices -- changing name or not, sahm,wohm -- you think men get on each other for having a wife with a diff't last name? You think anyone is paying attention to whether a man shows up at work two days after a child is born? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:02 PM Flag
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She is the CEO. She already will make sacrifices and take risks far beyond what the average employee will do, and that's why her rewards are outsized. Again, if a brand-new father was a CEO and went back to work 48 hours after DB was born, no one would be worried that all male employees would be expected to do the same. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:52 PM Flag
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Well, that's true, but we're also one of the few countries with short, unpaid leaves specifically for women, and many people are hoping that changes someday. I really don't have a problem with what she is deciding to do, I do have a problem with the way people are going to spin it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:55 PM Flag
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I've yet to see a male CEO give birth, so not really the same. Her sacrifices are no more than the other top executives, or even those much further down the rung. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:55 PM Flag
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I don't think anyone would even be paying attention to what a male CEO is doing after the birth of his child. Attention will be on the woman because men are looked upon as individuals and women, like other minorities, tend to be lumped together and treated as a group. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:59 PM Flag
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It's her first, but unfortunately her black boyfriend's seventeenth kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:27 PM Flag
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oo he hit the jackpot [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:31 PM Flag
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?? she's married. to a white dude. not that it makes any difference. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:40 PM Flag
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There is a bored teenager on tonight. Hence the random attention-garnering comments. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:42 PM Flag
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Would you write this same thing about a DH? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:33 PM Flag
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The man isn't carrying a baby and giving birth, not the same AT ALL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:36 PM Flag
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It's not that different. I have 2 DCs and while I enjoyed my maternity leaves, if I had needed to be back full time (which for me is 65+ hours) I could have done it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:39 PM Flag
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It is different. When you give birth you are lactating, bleeding, hormonal, etc. Some women have C-sections, which is major surgery. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:41 PM Flag
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I had a c section, and physically I could have gone back in two weeks easy. Maybe not 12 hour days in the office, but so much is remote these days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:44 PM Flag
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Do you really think that she can work as little as 12 hours a day in the office? Out of office time isn't cutting it at that level, so.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:48 PM Flag
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The article that I read implied (though didnt say outright) that she would have an abbreviated schedule. I guess she will have to see what works! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:51 PM Flag
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What? Yes, it is different if you are not the one to have a baby rip through your crotch and then have to be up all night long when your newborn needs to cluster feed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:43 PM Flag
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Her job will be demanding but not physically. She can choose not to BF so DH or a night nurse or a whole team of MDs can handle the cluster feeding just fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:50 PM Flag
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Exactly, she can CHOOSE. But without a reasonable length of maternity leave that means other mothers cannot choose, or they may want to bf, but if they have to go back to a demanding job at two weeks they may have to do something other than what they want to do. The point here isn't what Mayer is choosing to do, but that some will use these exceptional women as a one-size fits all model for maternity leave and that is problematic in a society that already has iffy maternity leave policies compared to the rest of the developed world. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:56 PM Flag
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You're right. I don't think FMLA will change any time soon, but there may ne subtle pressure for people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:59 PM Flag
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Marissa Mayer's job is to lead Yahoo to be a profitable, successful company, not to consider how every step she takes will affect the standing of all women in the workplace. Yahoo is barely surviving as a company and there's no way a CEO can be successful if she has to worry that any step she takes might set an unrealistic precedent for other women. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:00 PM Flag
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Her job is to clean out the junk and sell the good stuff back to Google. She'll be gone and back at Google in a year or so. Mark my words. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:01 PM Flag
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Totally agree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:03 PM Flag
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I completely agree with you on that. It's not her job to worry about how people interpret her decisions and that's why I keep saying I don't judge her decisions. I do judge the society who takes these few examples and then tries to make sweeping policy based on them, because it will lead to greater productivity, saving money or whatever it is they think they can gain from it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:05 PM Flag
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Oh, I have zero doubt it will be a baby nurse feeding her baby all the time, day and night. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:01 PM Flag
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Do you really think she would be up feeding the baby at night? she can afford all types of help, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:55 PM Flag
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np: True. But a lot of well-off women might prefer to do the night feedings themselves (not everyone wants a baby nurse) and it seems crappy to expect them to hire a fleet of caregivers to prove that they want to keep their job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:58 PM Flag
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No I don't think she will be feeding her own baby because important women hire someone to do it for them and sleep all night long. I just don't know the point of having a baby if you have no time to care for it, not even when it is a newborn. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:06 PM Flag
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That's a whole other topic of discussion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:08 PM Flag
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MANY important women breast feed. In fact, counter intuitive as it is, the wealthier one is the more likely to breast feed. I am sure many have baby nurses, so they either just hand them the baby to feed then get them back to sleep or the mom pumps, but it is not fair to say they don't care for them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:33 PM Flag
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Agree to disagree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:55 PM Flag
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Not saying it can't be done, but SHOULD it be expected is the question. For bfing moms around the clock, 2 weeks is critical time in establishing milk supply. Sure you could pump, but that could lead to nipple confusion, etc. And fwiw, a lot of dad's take the first couple few weeks off too. This is not a question of feminism but more a question of valuing family time. I recognize that many women don't have a choice for a financial reasons, but I don't think this right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:46 PM Flag
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np: IA, well-put - yes, it is *possible* to do this, but I think it's a sick system that *expects* it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:53 PM Flag
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The dh didn't give birth. Maternity leave is about bonding with the baby but it's also about the mom needing time to make a physical recovery from childbirth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:39 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:21 PM Flag
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even though it is her first, she probably knows her own mind and knows that she will be able to pull it off. She's not the first woman to take such a short leave. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:35 PM Flag
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I admire her, but I do think a lot of women feel one way before their first and then feel another away about their jobs after kids. Not saying she won't want to work, but 2 weeks leave is incredibly short. If she is just working from home that's completely do-able, but I don't think most women (and this is not in anyway a sign of weakness) would want to be at work for 8hr days 2 weeks post partum. The fact saying this is offensive or seen as a slight against women is problematic because it is natural for a woman to adjust to what her body has been through, get used to bfing round the clock and the unrelenting total lack of sleep if the baby doesn't sleep. I am someone who does well without sleep and those first few months kicked my butt! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:41 PM Flag
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I don't think you get to her level professionally without learning how to work around a difficult job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:44 PM Flag
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No one is saying that, but what I am saying is that there are many women who reach high levels of professional success who chuck it or dial it down after kids. Some because they want to. Some because it's too much juggling. Some don't. I do feel that in making her comments, she has put extra pressure on herself as a CEO and mother because now everyone's going to be watching her and some will want her to fail. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:51 PM Flag
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her greater challenge is finding a raison d'etre for yahoo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:54 PM Flag
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Yahoo is in the tanker. No one uses it for anything but email anymore, and most people have switched to gmail so even that has gone downhill. It really serves no purpose and seems fated to be extinct. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:09 PM Flag
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Before I gave birth I had no idea what it would do to my nether region, and how long it would take to recover. It was significantly longer than two weeks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 08:45 PM Flag
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Eh, depends. I had a great pregnancy and recovery and was up and at 'em pretty quickly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.12, 10:21 AM Flag
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It's not her mind that is the issue. There is no way to know if she will have an easy peasy delivery, or a 4th degree tear. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:23 PM Flag
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This is true. I was lucky and was up and about right away, but I know that was luck and could not have been predicted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:36 PM Flag
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This whole thread is stupid. She is just a woman. An awesome, successful woman - and an inspiration - but her actions are not any more or less significant than any of ours. People do what works for their families. There's no reason that a family w/ tens of millions of dollars can't have a happy home life and successful high-powered careers at the same time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:07 PM Flag
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You are absolutely right. The problem is that our society is still evolving and still thinks that all women should make the same decisions or feel the same way about things. She's all over the news in part because she's a pregnant woman and the media wants to use her as an example. If she were an expectant father, she wouldn't be getting the same attention. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:14 PM Flag
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The problem is that this country is populated by idiots who tune in to watch non-news. Her new job and the fact that she's pregnant are certainly news - but not news that needs to go on for more than a day. It means nothing for women at large. Pretty cool that she's young and successful. I don't give a rat [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:20 PM Flag
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^rat's ass how long she takes for mat leave. Everyone has a different life - unique to them - and we make our millions of personal decisions because we all have free will to do so. She happens to have 2 major changes happening at the same time -- sometimes that's how life happens. Clearly she's a capable woman who will deal w/ it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:24 PM Flag
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I agree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:27 PM Flag
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You people are naive. If you think anything MM does has any relation to women at large, you are smoking crack. $70MM buys you a lot of options. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:11 PM Flag
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That is really the point that you seem to have missed. The argument is that people will just say, "well, Meyer could do it," without factoring in the fact that she has all of these choices that the average woman does not. Corporations can have ridiculous expectations based on one hi profile woman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.12, 09:39 PM Flag
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This proves to me that women are their own worst enemy. We all sabotage each other. NO WONDER we still earn 75 cents for every dollar a man earns! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.12, 06:18 AM Flag
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Prediction: something will happen during the birth (fictional or otherwise) that will preempt her ability to go back in two weeks, so she'll be able to blame some external factor for her inability to head back in two weeks. You heard it here first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.12, 10:02 AM Flag
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Oh, I bet you are right. Are you going to post an I told you so afterward? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.12, 06:42 PM Flag
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I don't understand why everyone is giving her a hard time. I'm a SAHM but I'd gladly give up my maternity leave for the type of salary/opportunity she has. She's going to be making a trade-off but quite frankly, the package she has been given is AMAZING (what is it, $129 million over 5 years?). And any good business person would work through that leave for the opportunity to make her mark at Yahoo. I hope she succeeds spectacularly and then is able to take her full maternity leave with #2. I also think that we women should support her. She's brilliant, motivated and just happens to be pregnant. And the baby will never remember those first few months so in some ways, it's the best time for her to be working. (Of course, she'll miss out on being with her baby, but sometimes opportunities like this come around once in a lifetime.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.12, 06:48 PM Flag
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Where does Yahoo even get that money? Do you know even one person that uses it anymore? If it disappeared tomorrow, it would make no difference. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.12, 07:25 PM Flag
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