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05.11.12, 13:50 PM General Topics
56 replies
Is the bullying epidemic worse today than it was when we were kids or is there just more attention placed on it these days? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.11.12, 01:50 PM Flag
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Way more attention. Also EVERYTHING is bullying now. There are Nuances it is all considered te same. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:52 PM Flag
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indeed, every slight, every unkind word. Ridiculous. I call it helicopter moms bullying everyone elses children. Now THAT has increased 1000x [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:54 PM Flag
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Did you see that film BULLY? That's exactly what the school administrators said. Did you SEE what the bullies did to that kid? Of course not all meanness is bullying, but to deny it happens, and not that infrequently, is ridiculous. If the mean kid is the alpha kid, it's a scary place. If the alpha kids are nice kids, the bullies have no power -- they may be mean sometimes, but they can't really "bully". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:11 PM Flag
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No one has or is denying bullying happens. Relax. People have different opinions as to what constitutes bullying and if it has increased. Is that ok with you - or do you intend to "bully" us all into agreeing with your opinion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:25 PM Flag
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Ironic, isn't it, that you throw out the word "bully" when someone posts something that contradicts you, but yet you claim every other mother who thinks her dc might be bullied is a helicopter mom. I happen to agree with you that people have different opinions as to what constitutes bullying (just like you think my disagreeing with you means I am a bully). But in fact, you are presenting some straw man -- I don't know any moms who insist every unkind word is bullying. Maybe your friends are different. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 04:21 PM Flag
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np: Same here, I don't know one single parent who considers every unkind word bullying. Doesn't exist. So I really have to believe somebody who accuses other parents of that has a child whose community and school considers a bully and the OR's response is to just get defensive and attack the victim. Which is of course why her kid is a bully in the first place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 08:50 PM Flag
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For face to face - it is the same. There is a new tool -texting/internet that makes it easier to do without witness. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:53 PM Flag
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Hard to day. I remember lots of nasty kids who would "call people out" and have fistfights after school. Then there were the kids who tormented other kids on the school bus or kids who would put packets of ketchup on chairs in class so that girls would sit on the ketchup and ruin their pants. Bullying has been going on forever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:53 PM Flag
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I don't think all of why you describe is bullying. Off to get a bucket... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:56 PM Flag
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So, physically beating a kid up isn't bullying? Throwing loogies in a girl's hair on a school bus because she's overweight or unattractive isn't bullying? Embarrassing someone because you can isn't bullying? What does bullying mean to you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:58 PM Flag
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I think bullying is an extremely serious event. I think it is when a child (or an adult) finds a target. A weaker target and stematically inflicts abuse (physical or emotional) on this target. It is not a one time event. It is not a fist fight between two boys or a packet of ketchup in a chair. Children misbehave, they call each other names, they play pranks and young boys sometimes come to blows. I'm not asking you to agree with me. But, I do believe that crying bully at every slight detracts from the seriousness of the issue. Now pouring bucket over my head just in case... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:03 PM Flag
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systematically^^ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:04 PM Flag
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What about what I wrote indicated it was only a one-time event? It was always the same kids that did the bullying and the same ones who were bullied. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:05 PM Flag
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I have no desire to fight or argue with you. I answered your question as best I could. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:07 PM Flag
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Bully! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 05:15 PM Flag
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np: I don't get why you are arguing this point. You think schools and parents should just ignore any abuse if it doesn't fit your definition of bullying? The bad behavior has to be addresses either way. If a school didn't do that my child would sure not be enrolled there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 08:54 PM Flag
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The cyber aspect is worse, these kids aren't safe in their own rooms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:53 PM Flag
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That's so sad to hear. :-( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:54 PM Flag
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Parents need to wise up about that stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:55 PM Flag
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Parents need to stop giving their children gadgets that are unnecessary. Ironic, that cell phone you give your 12 year old to "be safe" is the object thru which she is tormented to the point she wants to die. Great idea. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:58 PM Flag
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In middle school DF got fax bullied, complete with the other girls fathers company letter head on top of the death threat and name calling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:59 PM Flag
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that's the real problem. You used to go home and be done with it. Now ppl are texting you, posting on your FB wall, etc. If something humiliating happens to you, EVERYONE knows about it and maybe has seen a pic of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 05:01 PM Flag
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I posted something below -- a 13 yr old girl killed herself after a mass email was sent out to everyone making fun of her and more cruel stuff (on top of a year of cruelty, of course). Disgusting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 05:29 PM Flag
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I agree. Social media and how public it all is means there is not one corner of the world that is safe for a child. Whereas for our generation we could feel safe the minute we left school and were hanging out with our family or close friends. And when bullying and teasing would occur there would only be a handful of witnesses if any. Now an entire school or even a whole town witnesses it. It's sick. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 08:56 PM Flag
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I don't remember in my high school anyone being assaulted and then battered for their appearance if that is what you mean. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:54 PM Flag
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I think the problem today is that bullying can be done 24/7. In the old days one had to deal with it primarily just at school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:54 PM Flag
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But unfortunately it was probably still on their minds 24/7. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:55 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:55 PM Flag
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Kids are not allowed to fight anymore so bullies don't ever get beat down. When I was a kid bullies got beat up occasionally and that put a cap on it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:57 PM Flag
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Most true. And one step beyond... children are not allowed to defend themselves anymore. The school's discipline code says the retaliation is JUST AS BAD as the original infraction. Idiotic. I think that is PC that didn't work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:06 PM Flag
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I think that is insane. I am a teacher and I think it is CRAZY that we don't teach children that they should defend themselves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:09 PM Flag
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about 1-3% of people have psychopathy or sociopathological tendencies. These tend to be the ring leaders, like our Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney. So, I think it's about the same, but thanks for bringing it up! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:58 PM Flag
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Stick a freaking sock in your political commentary. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 01:59 PM Flag
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you big bully! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:00 PM Flag
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Is it not relevant to bring up Mitt in reference to bullying and what the prevalence is over time? He bullied in the 50's. Are we more sensitive to it today than when Mitt bullied that poor gay boy? I think it's a great question. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:03 PM Flag
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^^IDIOT-know your facts-he bullied in the mid sixties-guess he didn't go to any love-ins. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:48 PM Flag
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good to know that you affirmed that he's a bully, doesn't matter what year! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 04:44 PM Flag
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NP-the whole story has already been disproved. Get over it already. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 08:24 PM Flag
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riiight. See you on the Sunday morning news shows! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.12.12, 06:21 PM Flag
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True. But it's not just Mitt Romney. Most politicians are sociopaths. Clinton is a sociopath too. I'm a Democrat btw. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:12 PM Flag
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Agreed about Clinton. I might be the one Democrat on the planet who loathes him. And don't forget the liberal entertainment industry types who are complete sociopaths. Huge list of those throughout history. None of this means it's okay what Mitt Romney did whether mid-60s or WHENEVER, or that he's a good guy. That dude has no soul, no heart, no real sense of self and anybody who says otherwise is a member of the GOP cult and not thinking for themselves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 09:02 PM Flag
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I remember a lot of bullying when I was in elementary school in the late seventies/early 80s. Adults just left things up to us to sort out a lot more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:00 PM Flag
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You call it bullying, I call it kids being kids. It did get worked out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:08 PM Flag
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Well no, it was true bullying sometimes and sometimes it did NOT get worked out. My brother has disabilities and was teased in a very cruel manner throughout school in the 70s and 80s. It absolutely hurt him and impacted his life adversely to this day. Who the f*** are you to say it didn't? You are a terrible person. Just as terrible as the faculty who would sit there and watch it and turn a blind eye. Things were not always better in the past. Society gaining greater compassion for children can only be a good thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 09:08 PM Flag
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Who said it was an epidemic? More like an epidemic of media attention to it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:01 PM Flag
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this, and moms of young children running around accusing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:36 PM Flag
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My high school bully is doing life in prison [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:05 PM Flag
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Mine committed suicide within 2 years of graduating high school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:07 PM Flag
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Dh was bullied HORRIBLY at his private middle school. He can barely talk about it. It's on par with what Mitt Romney did, although dh's bullies were 13 year olds and not 18 year olds. The one difference is that parents/teachers/schools at least try to change that and don't simply say "boys being boys" when everyone knew the real bullies were sociopaths. I'm not talking saying a few mean things to a kid you don't like, either. I'm talking scaring the crap out of another kid (on par with holding down and threatening to strangle kid with their tie.) And with dh, too, the ringleaders got a group of kids to help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:09 PM Flag
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UGH horrible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 05:25 PM Flag
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Exactly. This kind of bullying absolutely did occur and of course it hurt people for LIFE. I hate people who dismiss concerns about bullying. How nice for them they've had perfect lives and never experienced that but seriously, they really can't muster up a little sympathy for people who are victimized in this manner? Disgusting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 09:10 PM Flag
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Does your DH remember the names of the ringleaders? He should write an Op Ed or blog post about it and name them. I'm serious. I think it's complete BS that in middle and high school those sociopaths didn't know right from wrong or what they were doing or that they should never have to answer for it. Call them out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 09:12 PM Flag
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more attention and too much stuff is called "bullying" -- we are raising a bunch of punks --see the post about that DD getting disciplined for using the word "fat" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 02:31 PM Flag
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Yes, if your definition of "discipline" means your mother gets told. I guess you believe your little darling NEVER needs punishing. Or, actually telling dc he did something wrong is "discipline". You certainly wouldn't want to actually "discipline" your precious dc with actual punishment -- I guess that would be too harsh for your dc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 04:17 PM Flag
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I just read a crushing article about a little 13 year old girl who killed herself after constant bullying. Really awful. Not sure if it is worse but it's horrible stuff, not funny "kids will be kids" at all. http://www.xojane.com/issues/bullying-suicide-and-why-point-we-all-know-better [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 05:26 PM Flag
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There's more awareness that it's wrong and something must be done. I'm a teacher. I worry about the bullies at my school. They're on the road to becoming miserable, terrible people if they continue to behave and think like bullies. Most of them are insecure, often hiding learning disabilities or past school failures, or convinced that everyone secretly hates them so they seek to dominate and exert power where they can. It doesn't have to be physical. They just make a habit of asserting dominance over others and their "relationships" consist of controlling and demeaning. They will make terrible husbands, wives, bosses, coworkers, and human beings in general if they aren't helped. The targets, on the other hand, need help to survive and stay strong and avoid falling into the trap of taking their pain out on others, but most will come out to be wonderful people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.11.12, 08:50 PM Flag
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