Have to vent. Every single night I get in a fight with my dc over homework. It is truly stressful. Any advice? He could have been done an hour ago but just makes excuse after excuse and gets up so many times I end up yelling. I can't do this anymore. Has anyone else btdt?
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04.09.12, 03:28 PM
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Yes - and we stopped yelling. How old is your DC? In about third grade, we told her it was her responsibility, we would make a quiet place for her to do it, and help her if asked, but if she doesn't get it done, it's her problem (and said what good grades/bad grades lead to - types of jobs, choices, etc.) You know what, she started getting it done.
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04.09.12, 03:31 PM
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I have a boy and it's also third grade. Maybe that's the magic grade where this push back happens. I tell him to do it on his own and that I am here for any questions. It is just all the not so smart distractions. Thanks you made me feel better.
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04.09.12, 03:36 PM
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Yes, 3d grade, I told my dc to do the homeowork on their own and then I'd correct and go over it with them, but I wanted them to make the initial effort. In exceptional cases, I'd help them understand the problem and get them started, and would usually be humbled by the fact that it took me, in my 40's, several minutes to also understand what the question was asking.
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04.09.12, 03:52 PM
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Yes! DD is in 4th grade. We've set a time limit on homework (reasonable given the amount and the recommendation from her school) and after that, it's pencils down. She needs time to be a kid, to have free time, to shower and have family time. I think knowing that she has to finish it in a certain timeframe has helped. Also, we insist that she have an hour of free time after school before she starts her homework. She needs a break right after school. This has really helped us with the homework battles.
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04.09.12, 03:36 PM
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op again: Thank you. When you say pencils down does that mean if it's not done you send her to school with it incomplete? Good advice either way, bet that won't happen more than once.
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04.09.12, 03:37 PM
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Yes, but that has never happened. If I really thought she was focused and committed to finishing, I wouldn't pull the plug. But my kid is the type who will spend 45 minutes trying to figure something out on her own before asking for help and then not finish. With the approach I've described, she can't get hung up on one thing. She has to either ask for help or move on to the next question and come back to the ones she stuck on.
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04.09.12, 04:05 PM
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I make him give me push ups or sit ups if he is dilly dallying.
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04.09.12, 03:42 PM
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Oh I am thankful for all this advice. Also happy to not feel like the only one. I dream of a life where wohm come home and homework is complete, dinner is over with, kids are in bed and their life is so much better. I know this isn't the case and I know that most of them do double duty. Just fantasizing about my ex-career and it's seeming very desirable.
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04.09.12, 05:21 PM
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No more fighting, no more yelling. It's his responsibility. Let him face the consequences at school. Parents are WAY too involved in homework IMHO. It's not teaching DC to be responsible at all.
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04.09.12, 05:40 PM
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I know you're right. No one very helped me with homework. The difference for my dc is that the homework is about ten levels above what someone this age should be doing. It's crazy.
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04.10.12, 04:51 AM
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Nanny here: it's crazy not to grant your nanny that little bit of privacy. I'll take a 2 year old in with me for a quick pee, but she doesn't need to see me change a tampon. I have worked for some crazy parents, and even the most overprotective has never had a problem with me doing this.
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04.09.12, 05:48 PM
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I send my dd to her room to do homework. If she's in the same room she starts whining, asking questions, etc. She gets it done faster with no distractions.
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04.09.12, 05:51 PM
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Has he suffered any consequences at school for not turning in homework? At dc's they have to work on it during recess.
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04.10.12, 05:10 AM
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what's the fight about?
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04.10.12, 05:28 AM
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