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Ok. Does your child have enough friends with SAHM?
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10.02.11, 09:36 PM
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The playdates are not about you, they are about your kids.
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10.02.11, 09:41 PM
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Right but if the kids are young Mom will probably stay so she either needs a lot of SAHMs or she needs to socialize with nannies.
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10.02.11, 09:44 PM
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i disagree. i think it's important to get to know the parents, the environment, the values of your child's peers' parents.
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10.02.11, 09:52 PM
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Care to elaborate?
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10.02.11, 10:01 PM
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By checking out who they hire, you do get to know a lot about the values of the parents. I never had trouble w/hanging out with nannies if my child was friendly with the kids. I actually preferred some nannies to the parents they worked for. After the first couple of playdates, most nannies will suggest that they pick up your kid from school and do a 'dropoff' playdate.
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10.03.11, 04:58 AM
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np: There is a mom/kid combo that I love, but she has the laziest woman alive watching her kids. The nanny tries to schedule as many playdates as possible so she doesn't have to watch the kids. She will sit in a chair and eat all the food while the other moms/nannies watch the kids. To that mom - I don't want to socialize with your nanny.
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10.03.11, 12:34 PM
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Aren't you a peach.
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10.02.11, 09:42 PM
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i don't. Your nanny is probably more lovely than you, and she sure does know your kid. But, that's her job. And i want to socialize with others whose job it is to be with their own kids. i understand, many women don't have that luxury or sanity to be sahm, but don't force your nanny on me.
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10.02.11, 09:54 PM
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SAH is not a job, princess. It's a valid temporary choice for people with young dc's but it is not even close to holding down paid employment where your performance is evaluated on your results. Get over yourself.
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10.02.11, 10:00 PM
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i'm sure you have a very important job. way to put your needs first!
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10.02.11, 10:05 PM
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no one said you had to procreate. don't get all martyr on us.
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10.03.11, 07:12 AM
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Plus, your nanny doesn't really care about your kid while she's shopping at century 21, or yapping on her cell phone while your kid is crying at the other end of the playground. It's her job to pretend to care.
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10.02.11, 10:13 PM
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Get a life, loser.
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10.02.11, 10:16 PM
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Get results, loser.
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10.02.11, 10:17 PM
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What the hell is that supposed to mean? Consultant.
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10.02.11, 10:18 PM
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^^See, I can spout nonsense, too.
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10.02.11, 10:20 PM
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np: seriously, what's this supposed to mean?
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10.03.11, 03:45 AM
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As opposed to the SAHMs LMAO
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10.03.11, 07:42 AM
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Seriously, I'm a SAHM and I can often be found on my cell, shopping, etc. and I see plenty other SAHM doing the same.
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10.03.11, 08:02 AM
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How terrible for you. These selfish WOHM's should really be taking time off work to accomodate your needs, shouldn't they?
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10.02.11, 09:59 PM
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well adjusted and kind sahm's don't care. insecure sahm's all do. wonder which camp you're in
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10.03.11, 03:38 AM
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sounds like op needs to be "better" than the nannies. wonder why?
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10.03.11, 04:58 AM
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Because even though she lacks an education and the skills to get a real job, she did land an IB husband who works all the time. So naturally, she's better than everyone else.
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10.03.11, 07:45 AM
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So don't. Or is anybody forcing you to do this?
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10.03.11, 03:46 AM
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right?
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10.03.11, 04:58 AM
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Hey sahm - I do not not want to socialize with you either
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10.03.11, 04:13 AM
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SAHM here, and I'm happy to socialize with the nannies. I like some nannies as much, and more than, the moms. They're women, they're interesting and intelligent, they often have children of their own, they have husbands and lives and histories. As long as they don't mind spending time with me and they're nice, we'll probably get along really well. Some of the coolest women I've met in recent years are nannies. I've even asked a couple to meet for coffee.
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10.03.11, 04:44 AM
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np--ITA, and get great advice and suggestions from the nannies with concerns and questions I have.
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10.03.11, 05:11 AM
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np: i agree i've had a lot of playdates with nannies. but i have to admit some nannies don't want to socialize with moms.
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10.03.11, 09:02 AM
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This is the most idiotic way of bashing WOHM I have ever seen in UB. Look for another argument line princess
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10.03.11, 05:18 AM
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Hey OP--I work and dont have a nanny. The nicest people I meet are the nannies of the other kids.
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10.03.11, 05:24 AM
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Ditto.
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10.03.11, 07:02 AM
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Hey SAHM, I thought that sitting around "watching" your kids was WORKING as you post it every day- how come NOW it is SOCIALIZING???
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10.03.11, 05:56 AM
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Hey SAHMs: I have no desire to hang out with you either. I'm paid to be here, and if that includes being civil and social with you I can fake it. - Nanny.
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10.03.11, 06:05 AM
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Why not? When I was a SAHM, I socialized with nannies all the time. Most of them were moms and even grandmas. I rarely disliked the nannies I met. I have a job now but I still talk to a couple of nannies I frequently had playdates with. I think you probably don't have lots of friends. You seem to have a bad personality.
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10.03.11, 06:07 AM
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Good for you. Thank you for clarifying the point that for you (not all SAHMs) the decision to stay home is more about you than your child(ren). Frankly if your DCs are anything like you, not sure I'd want my DC and nanny hanging out with them anyway.
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10.03.11, 07:04 AM
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OP why do you keep scheduling playdates with nannies?
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10.03.11, 07:32 AM
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so don't. before you know it it will be all drop off playdates and your problem will be solved.
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10.03.11, 07:41 AM
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and then she won't care WHO is at the drop off playdate, so long as she has more time to shop and spa.
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10.03.11, 07:46 AM
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Because you're so pleasant that everyone is dying to socialize with you.
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10.03.11, 07:41 AM
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Hey OP: we moms with interesting careers and the ability to balance work and also being a great mom have no interest in socializing with boring, snotty you. We send our nannies so we don't have to spend time with you.
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10.03.11, 07:45 AM
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And also OP, unlike you, we are very, very busy. We have to pick and choose whom we can spend time with, and you are not going to make the cut.
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10.03.11, 07:46 AM
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Well, I *would* come on the playdate. But all you want to (and are capable of) talk about is RHO or the latest deals on Gilt so...
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10.03.11, 07:47 AM
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Sahm here. There are some nannys I love to hang out with and some moms I love to hang out with. If your an nice person and you are kind to kids I generally enjoy your company. I've actually learned a thing or to from having a playdate with another child with a really great nanny. OP is a troll!
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10.03.11, 07:52 AM
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And you're one of the typical SAHM social climbers who will chose your child's school based on how it suits your social life rather than what's really the best fit for your DC.
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10.03.11, 07:59 AM
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Are you being forced to do play dates?
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10.03.11, 08:04 AM
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Hey, no one's putting a gun to your head. Don't invite my kid for playdates, and we won't invite yours. Also, don't expect me to do you any favors when your kid is older and you need someone in a pinch to take care of your kid.
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10.03.11, 08:18 AM
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That would be your nanny doing a favor.
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10.03.11, 08:34 AM
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OP, after reading this post, I have to say, I think your child would be better off in a good daycare program than home with you. I stayed home with my kids until the youngest was in kindergarten and I met a few sanctimonious moms like you. You aren't doing what is best for your child, instead you are passing on your small, petty values and behaviour and ruining your child. You don't sound like a good mom, you sound like an awful person.
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10.03.11, 08:36 AM
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Get a job.
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10.03.11, 08:36 AM
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i'm a SAHM and this is a ridiculous statement. honestly, i would rather the nanny sometimes because of moms like you!
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10.03.11, 08:56 AM
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Another sahm here: socializing with nannies ALWAYS yields information about the family. Some nannies are fed up and dying to give another mom a piece her mind too.
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10.03.11, 09:32 AM
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Then don't. See how easy that was?
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10.03.11, 09:50 AM
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SAHM here: It shouldn't be so black or white - some nannies are awesome, some SAHMs are fun to be around and some nannies are awful and so are plenty of SAHMs. I've always let dc drive who he wanted to hang with and it always works out. When dc is happy so am I. If it means hanging with someone I don't want to hang with so be it. Grab a starbucks and just hang in the playground as opposed to making it about a playdate for you.
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10.03.11, 09:57 AM
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when we set up a playdate by email then, just let me know, "your nanny is free to stay but does not have to." Then I tell my nanny just to do pickup.
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10.03.11, 11:08 AM
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Going out on a limb here - I don't think my nanny wants to socialize with you. So it's ok.
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10.03.11, 11:28 AM
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Funny, I quite often prefer the nannies to the mothers.
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10.03.11, 11:30 AM
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WOHM here: I agree with OP, especially when the mom is a friend and the playdate is at your house. I wasn't happy when a friend assumed that the nanny could replace her in our weekly playdates. My friend is witty, intelligent, and strict with her children. Although the nanny is nice, she has no control (I'm left disciplining) and her personality is bleh. I don't look forward to seeing her. I have no shortage of playdate options and would prefer different company. My friend should not have assumed this is okay. Moms, if I invite you and the children over, my invitation is only for you and the children. It's not for the nanny, and it's not for daddy.
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10.03.11, 12:24 PM
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LOL you're a WOHM but have playdates during the week.
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10.03.11, 12:36 PM
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Medical, off 2 days during the week. Not everyone works the 9 to 5. Yes, I have playdates because I enjoy it.
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10.03.11, 12:42 PM
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Sure, OP, sure.
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10.03.11, 12:45 PM
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WOHM: I think that, when you are arranging playdates, it's polite to specify whether you or the nanny will be attending. Then it's up to the other mom to accept it or not. I do think it's rude to presume a mom wants to be hanging out with a nanny (or vice versa, for that matter). But I don't get while a mom would categorically refuse to do playdates with nannies. I can see why a mom would not want to hang out with a nanny she doesn't like (just as she might not want to hang out with a mom she doesn't like), but refusing to do any nanny playdates whatsoever is a bit much.
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10.03.11, 12:44 PM
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You're logical.
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10.03.11, 12:46 PM
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The PMSers will love this one. I have 2 full days per week with my children to do whatever I want. If I am going to dedicate one of those mornings to a playdate, I will hand pick the mom/nanny and children who I want to attend. I don't want a lazy nanny, bratty kid, or snarky mom to deal with on my day off. It's my house, my rules.
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10.03.11, 01:00 PM
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I am a little old for a daytime playdate. If your kid wants to hang with my kid and its my house - it will be my nanny. If its your house and you know I work, just tell me to tell the nanny to do dropoff. My nanny would rather me give her a clear protocol - so she doesn't feel bad running errands or eating a late lunch if you dismiss her from a playdate at your place.
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10.03.11, 02:24 PM
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Its her choice. Why are others passing judgement on who she wants to hang out with ?
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10.13.11, 09:53 PM
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By 'her', I meant the mom who does not want to hang out with nannies.
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10.13.11, 09:54 PM
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psst. she doesn't want to hang with you either.
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10.03.11, 12:37 PM
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Somebody I took a class with invited me and DD to a playdate, but I fell sick and since my DD really wanted to go, I offered that my mom would take her. The other mom revoked the invitation. She kept calling a few times but I thought this was beyond rude.
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10.03.11, 01:48 PM
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Someone invited YOU and your kid to their house. How can you presume that it will be okay for them to have your mom or your nanny come over instead ?! You changed the plans, its their prerogative to accept the change or not.
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10.13.11, 09:49 PM
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Don't worry, we don't want to socialize with you either.
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10.15.11, 06:06 PM
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Hey SAHM, a playdate is for your DC, not for you.
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10.15.11, 06:08 PM
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