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05.27.11, 10:59 AM General Topics
112 replies
things i've learned from my law and order habit: [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.27.11, 10:59 AM Flag
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if you're going to send someone a threatening email, do it from an internet cafe and wear a disguise. don't go back to the same internet cafe more than once. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:00 AM Flag
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Avoid wearing the same Bozo disguise more than once. Whether you're in an internet cafe or at the ATM, you will be recognized. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:02 AM Flag
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And don't pay with a credit card! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 07:00 PM Flag
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if you're having an affair, pay in cash at the restaurant [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:00 AM Flag
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disposable cell phones are truly untraceable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:00 AM Flag
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Never talk without a lawyer present. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:01 AM Flag
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THIS is really the #1 thing I've learned. NEVER Talk to The Police! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:02 AM Flag
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and, it's corrolary---the police are not your friends. if they are talking to you it is because you have information and they want it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:02 AM Flag
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yup. lawyer up as quickly as possible. and don't believe them when they tell you your accomplice is selling you out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:18 AM Flag
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don't believe anything they say [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:19 AM Flag
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ita. i've definitely learned that cops will lie. (especially those criminal intent ones!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:22 AM Flag
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I have learned that they are ALLOWED to lie when questioning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 01:24 PM Flag
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They're taught to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 01:35 PM Flag
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And then when they lie and rape someone, a jury of peers lets them off the hook. nice! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 05:58 PM Flag
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The default answer to any and all questions (if lawyer is not present) is I don't know and I don't recall. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:30 AM Flag
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^^Or just no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:31 AM Flag
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Or just nothing! Just say nothing. When someone tells me that whatever I say CAN and WILL be used against me, the best thing is to not say anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:34 AM Flag
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Yes, saying ANYTHING will in fact be used to screw you. If you say "I don't know" about what you were doing at 9PM on Tuesday, and later you need to testify that you were driving somewhere at 9PM on Tuesday, they are going to make you look like you made it up afterwards and changed your story. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 03:21 PM Flag
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If you are testifying answer only the question you are asked. Never add or explain anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 01:53 PM Flag
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Cops will always announce the perps name from half a block away, even if he's not noticing them, so he will run and a chase will ensue, rather than walking up quietly to him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:01 AM Flag
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LULZ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:12 AM Flag
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after 3 days, a dead body floats to the top of a body of water if you don't weigh it down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:01 AM Flag
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Liking Law and Order will not prevent them from towing your car when they're filming on your block. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:01 AM Flag
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don't bother cutting off the hands and feet for identification. they can totally figure out who the person is from dental records and dna [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:02 AM Flag
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Watch The Wire season 2 for instructions on how to make a body unable to be identified. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:04 AM Flag
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cliff notes? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:04 AM Flag
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you have to rip out their teeth too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 12:33 PM Flag
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My neighborhood is littered with dead bodies and people jogging in the early morning come across them regularly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:03 AM Flag
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LOLOL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:20 AM Flag
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Don't commit the crime wearing the same shoes you normally do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:03 AM Flag
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You can cross examine a murder suspect in three questions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:03 AM Flag
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Manhattan Assistant DA's are HOT! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:04 AM Flag
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burn everything that you wear during the act of committing a crime. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:04 AM Flag
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Their craft services trucks serve way better breakfasts than whatever I had before heading to work [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:04 AM Flag
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true dat! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:04 AM Flag
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What I learned from NYC actor friends: Better to be a lawyer on an episode of L & O than the criminal or victim, because then you can be brought back numerous times, as the lawyer. As the criminal or victim, it will be a while before you can be recycled. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:04 AM Flag
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But I love seeing the same actors over and over again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 01:36 PM Flag
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Dick Wolf must be a billionaire. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:05 AM Flag
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The only white people in my neighborhood are those looking to score drugs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:05 AM Flag
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and looking to pay off dirty cops [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:05 AM Flag
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that's actually true [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:05 AM Flag
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OP: except that I'm white, and I'm there to make dinner :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:07 AM Flag
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junkie! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:17 AM Flag
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Real lawyers in a real courtroom are really bad in comparison to actors on TV. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:05 AM Flag
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they reuse apartments and I love spotting one I have seen before [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:07 AM Flag
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Any child sulking in the background during the first 15 minutes did it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:07 AM Flag
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Watching law and order will not make me a productive part of society. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:08 AM Flag
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a pox on you and your people [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:09 AM Flag
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It's OK to drink in your office as long as it's bourbon from a crystal decanter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:09 AM Flag
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And after hours, of course. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:14 AM Flag
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And the corrolary: A lawyer going out for a drink after a trial will inevitably go to the same bar that the opposing lawyer is already at. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:24 AM Flag
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the bigger the guest star, the more likely he did it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:10 AM Flag
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If there is a HUGE star on, the show will suck. (matthew modine, chevy chase, etc) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:10 AM Flag
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Julia Roberts when she was going with Benjamin Bratt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 01:37 PM Flag
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Hudson University is the only college in NYC [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:11 AM Flag
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but it does not appear to be close to the Hudson River. It migrates from the East Village to the General Theo. Seminary campus. And Hunter College did make a brief appearance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 01:48 PM Flag
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Don't google ways to kill someone before you kill someone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:11 AM Flag
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better yet. destroy your hard drive after you commit your crime [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:12 AM Flag
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Not so easy to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:13 AM Flag
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i think i know how (1) erase (2) magnet (3) crush under heavy object (4) throw in incenerator to burn up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:16 AM Flag
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Recently, some guys were busted for doing just this. I wish I could remember the case.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:19 AM Flag
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my foolproof four part plan?! insanity. how did they know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:21 AM Flag
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OK. I found the case. http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43193437 They should have used multple incinerators! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:24 AM Flag
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^^^Oops. Wrong link. That was my baby out of uterus posting above. :P Here's the link of the insider traders who were busted: http://www.crainsnewyork.com/article/20110208/FREE/110209881 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:25 AM Flag
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amateur. first of all, he waited until the dragnet was closing (and he was under surveillance) rather than simply destroying the evidence right after the crime was committed. 2nd of all, he only used 1 of the four steps. the pliers (crushing)---no magnets and no incinerator. (even then---is it clear they found evidence on the drives, or merely evidence that he had attempted to destroy evidence.....hmmmm) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:30 AM Flag
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Your criminal mind frightens me. Are you sure you're just a regular mom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:32 AM Flag
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:-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 12:25 PM Flag
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woman executives are domineering crooks. sometimes, even murderers. but they're never innocent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:11 AM Flag
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There are cameras everywhere. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:11 AM Flag
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674 e 74th is not a real address. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:13 AM Flag
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Oh no, I learned there are many addresses on the east side in the 600s-700s. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 01:30 PM Flag
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When people are confronted on the street by homicide detectives investigating a murder of someone they knew, they will often excuse themselves after a minute or two because they have something more important to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:13 AM Flag
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Or, when the police get a call about the case while questioning you, they will simply end the interview, and give you a card in case you think of something else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:23 AM Flag
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When the cops show up at your workplace to question you during an investigation you should continue doing your job, rushing around the office and handing things to coworkers. Never stop and concentrate on the murder. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 01:34 PM Flag
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doormen know everyting. you're on camera most of time you are out of your apartment. always pay with cash. never use EasyPass. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:13 AM Flag
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if you are planning to commit a crime. otherwise, pay however you want and travel at will [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:22 AM Flag
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but you never know when you'll commit a crime of passion and its just easier if they can't prove you drove to Jersey that day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:29 AM Flag
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touche! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:31 AM Flag
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and leave your cell phone home -- and on [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:32 AM Flag
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when the police knock on your door always be busy with really important stuff like unloading the dishwasher or heading to your squash match [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:14 AM Flag
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Umm...I'm running late to a class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:16 AM Flag
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Ethics are subjective. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:15 AM Flag
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There is such a thing as a reproductive abuser. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:15 AM Flag
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Haha, just saw that one. John Stamos loves babies! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 07:49 PM Flag
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VERY wealthy people commit most of the crimes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:17 AM Flag
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Someone should conduct a study comparing the demographics of murderers on law and order to the demographics of real murderers. ;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:42 AM Flag
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That if you really wanted to you could watch Law and Order 24 hours a day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:17 AM Flag
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Manhattan juries are well dressed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:19 AM Flag
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True, no jeans or casual attire. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 01:39 PM Flag
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Sam Waterson is not an attractive man. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:21 AM Flag
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and he's a total misogynist [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:23 AM Flag
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Jerry Orbach wore more makeup than Joan Rivers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:22 AM Flag
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All female ADAs are beautiful. Bring back Paul Robinette! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:24 AM Flag
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Being handcuffed sucks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:31 AM Flag
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Not true. Some of my best nights have involved handcuffs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:41 AM Flag
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and Jerry Orbach [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:42 AM Flag
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Well, only if he's holding on to you. Otherwise you're clanking along in your leg irons and worrying that you'll fall over. Don't you find that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:48 AM Flag
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Ewww [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:49 AM Flag
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To teach my DC's to never answer questions without myself and a lawyer present, they will manipulate children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:33 AM Flag
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Cops don't use the bathroom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:43 AM Flag
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Effeminate Asian male police profilers can read your mind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 11:52 AM Flag
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No psychology on the original, but on SVU he predicts your demographics then he reads your mind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 01:41 PM Flag
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sorry - have to amend. I forgot about the dueling psychoanalysts on L&O, the woman who knew all the perps were not guilty, and the guy who knew they were. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 01:43 PM Flag
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if you and another criminal worked together, both blame each other vaguely. don't believe the cops when they say the other guy sold you down the river. two people accusing each other is enough to create reasonable doubt so plan this carefully. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 12:45 PM Flag
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they can catch rapists from family dna matches even though it's not technically legal evidence, it does lead them down the trail. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 12:45 PM Flag
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If somewhat has UC, aristocratic, or effete artistic characteristics (any) s/he did it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 12:59 PM Flag
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unless their DC did it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 01:45 PM Flag
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Defense lawyers can go quiet at the strangest times. Particularly when an ADA is about to state a strikingly incisive psychological insight about their client. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 01:02 PM Flag
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Private school students all wear blazers with metallic crests and ascots. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 01:51 PM Flag
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If you are a star on the original you only get a private life after 5 or 10 years. On SVU you get a private life and personal issues right away. On CI you might have to last a year or 2 before the private life/backstory kicks in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 01:56 PM Flag
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I digress, but I just use UB for the schools board because it's usually a bunch of dumb, Jesus lovin' idiots. What is a group of wise and witty women doing here discussing Law & Order. It's like UB or old, when it was actually urban. I so digging all of you right now. p.s. it's the president of the coop board that did it more often than you might think. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 05:03 PM Flag
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np Love how it's "OK" to slam Christians--but do it to any other group, and there's hell to pay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.11, 07:11 PM Flag
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