My daughter who is 20 works most days and is going to school at night. I work full time Monday - Friday. The problem: my daughter has her boyfriend over often during the day and night. Recently it had been brought to my attention they they are yelling at one another. Thank god for having a teenager son who is home sometimes when they are in my home. Last night I heard yelling, crying and then a loud thud. I ran upstairs and saw them both crying. I can't have this going on in my home when I am at work as well as don't want to have to deal with this when I get home from work. Suggestions????
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Teenagers
01.25.11, 07:29 AM
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This is why you should set limits for your dc at 3, so you don't end up with this situation at 20.
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01.25.11, 07:33 AM
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Unfortunately, I only became her Mother when she was 12 years old, as she was in foster care prior.
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01.25.11, 07:45 AM
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Absolutely not helpful at all! Her daughter is having relationship problems, not a temper tantrum.
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01.25.11, 08:30 AM
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Do you think she is being abused? Could you give her the national domestic violence hotline number?
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01.25.11, 07:51 AM
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it's your home so you have the right to set the boundaries. tell her this cannot go on any longer especially with bf being there overnight. good luck.
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01.25.11, 07:51 AM
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What is her explanation for what is going on? Sounds like she needs help.
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01.25.11, 07:54 AM
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Your house, your rules. She'll hate it, but some kids (and even at 20 she seems like a kid) need it longer than others.
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01.25.11, 08:10 AM
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I think you need to talk to her and be there for her. It's okay to say that the BF isn't allowed over when you're not home - but make sure that doesn't just mean that she stays away as well. Let her use you as the bad guy if she's trying to get away from him - like she needs to be home for her brother, but you have a no visitor policy. She needs to know that you're there for her and concerned for her well-being above all else.
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01.25.11, 08:28 AM
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I did try to speak to both of them, I got them to calm down and asked what was happening to make them so upset. Of course, neither would respond about the issue. I made it clear that we do not tolerate violence and regardless of their issue, no one should ever been this angry or unhappy. Perhaps they should take a break, as neither one was happy. Later after he left, I tried to calmly speak with my daughter but she would not let me know the issue. I did mention to her that I felt that they should not see each other for a while and that I was afraid for her. At first she said "if you do not want him here", I'll just go to his house, which I do not want. I told her he could come here but they could not hang out in her room but stay in the family room. However, if they continued to argue, I would ask him to leave.
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01.25.11, 08:50 AM
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