[-]Talking about Bugaboos. I can see why the Frog and whatever they are called nowadays are popular and quite pricey. It is a really good stroller and the price is justified. I don't see how the Bee fits into that picture, though. $500 for an umbrella stroller just doesn't work for me. You cannot say that you bought the Bee because it is such a great stroller. Bugaboo Bee owners just bought it because they like the brand and the "hey, look, I can spend so much money on a mediocre stroller!", no?
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]We're considering the Bee because we need a lightweight (everyday) stroller and like the idea of the baby facing us and an easy fold. Concerned about having a 6 month old in a Mac, thinks it tips over too easily and like the idea of single handle bar. There doesn't seem to be a better compromise.
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[-]Ideas for a gift to send as a thank you? a friend of DH's boss lent us his yacht to take our kids whale watching. It was last minute and very generous of him but I am stumped as to how to properly thank him. This guy is VERY wealthy (we are not) and seems to have everything.
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]hmm. tough one. i think you might be best with a token gift, something like a bottle of wine and have your kids draw pictures of whales they saw. alternatively, i'd say you should look for a coffee table book on whales, whale watching, or yachts. you can probably get something really nice. my third suggestion would be something boat related, but i can't offer any suggestions about that. maybe call a boating club and ask what is a nice gift for someone who owns a yacht.
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How much are you willing to spend? I might send a gourmet food basket (from someplace like Eli's) - even if they have "everything", they can use the "treats." Or high-end chocolates (La Maison du Chocolat). Or, if you want it to be smaller, maybe a gift basket from Fat Witch brownies (less pricey, but still yummy). No matter what you decide, I'd also include a genuine, heartfelt note.
[ Reply | Options ]OP: thanks for the suggestions. I forgot to add we have to mail the thank you gift internationally (we just got back to nyc). I've already had the kids write thank you notes, and am going to print a picture of them on the boat. I like the idea of sending "treats" from NYC -- something unique to the city so I know he doesn't already have it!
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[-]need an external view. Divorced - single mom of a 5 year old. Since divorced in 2 serious relationships and both ended. What am I doing wrong? I guess the wrong men for me? successful, hardworking powerful woman...I guess I need to find an older man??? Not sure if I'm up for that?
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Watching post...Kinda in the same boat. My dd is 2 1/2 and I'm a sahm. Haven't tried dating yet.
[ Reply | Options ]You do not go into a relationship expecting marriage and happy endings. Great if it happens, but make your life great without any man
[ Reply | Options ]You don't need to find an older man, you need to find the right man. Some men, regardless of age, are not attracted to powerful women. Also, the fact that you have been divorced will lead some men to wonder whether your "powerful" trait was a factor in your splitting up, and whether it could happen to them. And then there's the dc, which is an additional handicap, if you will. This is not to say the right guy isn't out there for you. But he will be harder to find--the pool is smaller.
[ Reply | Options ]theres a great book, a classic really in terms of self-help. "It's called keeping the love you find" By Harville Hendrix. It talks about how we keep making the same mistakes in every relationship and that this is more intentional than we think. There is a pattern here and you work through breaking the cycle of failed relationships by uncovering the pattern.
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[-]dd is 3 and going to be in the 3s program so I am assuming child is the same. Should I be concerned that too much attention will be given to the disabled child and other kids will be distracted? I am a compassionate person but it concerns me that parent choose a school with no special education.
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I can't believe I am even engaging you in a conversation. You didn't need to start a new thread, just give update on the old. I suspect you will "prepare" your three year old as you live your life, completely selfish, ignorant and without the compassion you shout you have.
[ Reply | Options ]wow, I wasn't expecting that. You should be thrilled that your 3yo will be exposed to a child with disabilities as this is an opportunity to expand her horizons and help her develop empathy and compassion. 3yos are amazingly compassionate and non-judgmental and this will be great for her. maybe she can teacher her mother something....
[ Reply | Options ]IMO, the opportunity for a 3 yo to experience as much diversity as early in education as possible is a huge plus. This would include kids or different races, religions, family structure (1 & 2 parent and same sex parents) and disabilities. They'll learn that everyone has strengths and weeknesses and its possible to be friends with someone who isn't like you. Of course, I plan to send my kid to public K so I'm not worried about how much formal education they get at 3 and 4 since there's no need to take ERBs.
[ Reply | Options ]the child's parents didn't choose a special ed school b/c the child is not learning disabled, just handicapped. you shouldn't tell you child anything. and I guarantee that child will have a para if that child requires any special attention. The child who require special attention from the teachers are the children who aren't well behaved and who knows -- that could be your kid.
[ Reply | Options ]I shouldn't tell my dd anything? actually got letter ahead of time informing us of situation and asking us to explain situation to dd.
[ Reply | Options ]in your case, OP, don't say anything... I would honestly be frightened as to what you would tell your child (given everything you've said so far; your bias is coming through loud and clear). better to spend the energy checking yourself and your biases and assumptions. your dd will be fine.
[ Reply | Options ]np: I think that is odd. And personally, I would not say a word to my dc until dc asked me a question. That's like sitting dc down and saying, ok there are going to be some children in your class that are taller than you, shorter than you, smarter than you, dumber than you... Why bother? IF you feel you MUST say something to a three year old, then just say Oh look, we got your class list. There is a susie and a janie and a tom and a harry - 3 boys, 4 girls and one has a wheel chair. You are going to have so much fun!!!!
[ Reply | Options ]My 3yo is in daycare all day long with twins, one of whom can't walk and uses a wheelchair of sorts, or often drags himself around with his upper body. My DD is bright and verbal and asks me about EVERYTHING, has made comments about her AA friend having different hair (not in a negative way), but has never remarked on this kid at all, even to note that one twin can walk and the other cannot. She does not seem to know the difference let alone care.
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You are not a compassionate person, you are sick. Just because a child is disabled doesn't mean that they need to be in a 'special' class. Actually I think it is perfect to mix the two so that today's generation learns to be accepting of people who are a little different. We bring up our kids with too much focus on appearance and not finding what a person is like on the inside. It's not fair just to stick a disabled kid in a 'special' class so others aren't distracted, especially if the school has deemed him smart enough to be in a regular class.
[ Reply | Options ]Two things, I would set up a meeting with the PSD for the first or second day of school and repeat your concerns to her as you have stated them here and I would call the parents of the child and tell them how shocked you are that they are not putting their dc in sp needs school and ask them to reconsider their decision. Might as well let everyone know exactly who you are and what they are dealig with from the get go.
[ Reply | Options ]Great advice. Call the other parents and say "I know you have a lot to deal with because you're dc is handicapped. I'm a nutjob and wanted you to know that I don't like her based only on her handicap."
[ Reply | Options ]np - I remember my dd had a disabled child in her preschool and while he had issues, they were successfully integrated into the classroom. He had a SEIT with him most of the time and it was enough that he participated as much as he could. It was an additional burden on the three teachers though because he often had to be restrained (by putting an arm around him or constantly redirecting him). Even though the kids were small and many had limited language skills, teachers helped them to understand that he had some differences, and things were largely fine each day. So don't worry about it at all - the teachers have it down.
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np: I can't believe the responses to this thread. OP did not seem selfish at all. Her concerns are legitimate. My ds was in a class with a similar situation. Chid was very bright cognitively but was in a wheel chair and also speech was not very clear. The child had a SEIT all the time but it became a distraction for the other teachers and students especially when child had to be placed in a specific position to take part in arts class. the students were getting distracted because they wanted to see what the child was doing. As parents we were very supportive of the child and her parents but we were also concerned about the other kids in class as well. There is nothing selfish about that.
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[-]new to ny - need to register my kid for school. where is the best place to call to see if there is a spot for him (starting K) each individual school or is there a central number? looking in brooklyn
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[-]Out of towner coming to NYC to get hair cut and colored at expensive NYC Salon... how much do I tip? There is a "stylist" cutting hair and his assistant will blow dry it.. then next appt is color where "stylist" colors and his assistant blows it out... so on each of these appts, how much do I tip the main person and his "assistant"? Cut usually runs about $150... color app runs abour $250. HELP!
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[-]had a play date at my pool and left my 4yo with 3 friends for 5mins. i came back and my dd said "i went under". lifeguard went in to get her. she was under for 3 sec's. 2 of the friends said it was not a big deal. one ratted out the other 2--said they were too busy talking. what am i to think?
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]you should think "I won't leave dd with those three again" and feel lucky nothing worse happened.
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What you should think is that you can't leave a 4 year old in the pool if you are not there. Especially when there is more than one adult around b/c everyone assumes someone else is watching.
[ Reply | Options ]something similar happened to me once. i was standing across the street from my house and had to run into my house for something. i asked my neighbor to watch my 2yo, she said ok, adn the next thing i know my 2yo is crossing the street coming to find me. i was really upset. i don't allow dcs to play in her house anymore. i really don't trust her very much.
[ Reply | Options ]what i think is that no one watches a child like a mother does and keep that in mind next time. glad dd is fine.
[ Reply | Options ]All I know is that when I'm watching someone else's child, I'm extra vigilant because I don't know their capabilities and weaknesses. Honestly, your friends are idiots. Obviously don't leave your child with them again but I wouldn't leave my child in a pool without my supervision for a while, and I have a 7yo.
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do these friends have kids? if not, they just may not understand in the least what "watching" means, and may have thought they were totally fulfiling their duties. lesson learned: do not count on others for this type of thing, period, unless you KNOW that they will be vigilant and responsible (which probably isn't very many people in your life).
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[-]Does anyone have experience with the agency Pro Au Pair, and any thoughts on whether it is worth the extra money for the 'professional' au pairs?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]pro au pair looks really new, could find almost nothing about them on the net. we use aupaircare (hate to spam but you asked about a specific agency i had never heard of) and have been happy. pro is worth it if you think you need the extra qualifications, we never have felt that.
[ Reply | Options ]We have the 3rd professional Au Pair thru ProAuPair for our baby girl. Christiane our first Au Pair was 26 years, had a 4 year degree as educator and worked in a kindergarten/daycare in Germany for 3 years before she came as professional Au Pair. The difference is that you get a experiaenced and mature person, who decided that childcare is her calling. If you have infants or todlers, or a special needs child, or just need someone who did not just comes here to party, a professional candidate is a great choice, and well worth your money. I view it as hiring a international Nanny for about $10 per hour, which is less then you pay for a domestic Nanny. get a Nanny
[ Reply | Options ]Professional au pairs is a great idea for families who need someone who has extensive experience and training as a childcare provider. My husband and I both work and we like to have an older au pair with a degree in childhood development and 3 years experience working in a German Kindergarten. Friends of us hired a pediatric nurse with NICU experience for their premi twins, and another family I know hired an German OT for their autistic son as professional au pairs. To us it is totaly worth the little extra cost if you look on a weekly basis and compare with domestic nanny rates.
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[-]Teacher here: I need a new bag for school. Should I get an LL Bean tote (cheap), a Longchamp (somewhat more expensive), or a T. Anthony bag (about $200)? I can afford the nicer bag (and I genuinely like it - and I'm "into" bags) - but wonder if I should bother? Thoughts? Other suggestions?
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[-]Has anyone ever skipped the whole preschool thing and just had their kids do enrichment classes and still got then into private school? My dd is starting k this year at a good school and had attended prek. I am pregnant with my second child and i'm thinking in enrolling him into classes instead of preschool. Would this affect his chances of getting into a good school?
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Dosn't matter. Preschool is not that important. Dalton, for example accepts kids from day cares and public school. You can apply privates without preschool's director's help.
[ Reply | Options ]I think it really helps to have had your child in a longer (at least half day) formal program of some sort. Schools want kids used to a routine and partially rely on information in the reports of professionals who know the child well. Are you looking to apply your child as a sibling? Ask the current admission people what they think. You do have a while to plan.
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[-]I didn't realize until now the unfairness of allowing parents to see the OLSAT when there are younger siblings in line to take the same test. Very annoying.
27 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Unless you could photocopy it or had photgraphic memory do you think it really provides an advantage?
[ Reply | Options ]Sure. Look at these people saying, "Don't bother with the KTSS - it only touches on the items on the test, and the phrasing is completely different." If I had seen the OLSAT, I would know exactly how to prep my dc.
[ Reply | Options ]np: ita. they already give a practice test out and dc confirmed for me that several of the practice test items are repeated exactly on the actual test.
[ Reply | Options ]i went and saw my son's OLSAT test. it is not repeated exactly just very similar and a few items were very very different. I was one of those people who bought into the KTSS thing and regret it. wish i would have hired a prep group that has done this.
[ Reply | Options ]Half of the people on this board must work for tutoring companies. I am not anti-tutoring per se but you do not need to spend $100/hr for 10 weeks for your DC to score a 99. There are websites out there that list the skills tested and so many workbooks and games, etc. that help teach/reinforce those concepts to your kids.
[ Reply | Options ]the "i went poster" sounds like subtle tutoring spam to me. they are pretty insidious about their approach.
[ Reply | Options ]I would agree with you in most cases (and the companies would be idiots NOT to spam here, frankly), but this woman has been posting this since the day the OLSAT results came back, so I believe her. I still don't think tutoring is necessary at all, though. If my dc can't grasp the concepts from the stuff I teach her at home, then I really don't think the citywide classroom is the place for her anyway
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NP: Some parents just like to outsource everything. An inlaw of mine tutors for ERB prep and while I think she is a good early ed teacher, I really do not think she has any better handle of what's on the ERB or SB than most parents. She's doing the same sort of stuff with her clients that many parents do on their own.
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NNP - I saw also and some items were absolutely verbatim. And IMO the wording and format were extremely similar to that on the practice test. But DS took it for entering 2nd grade so not sure if that affects it.
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UH, the DOE hands out the practice test which should be enough to prep the child. Are you suggesting that you can make a 4 year old memorize every single problem on the OLSAT?
[ Reply | Options ]not op, but of course if you could photograph or memorize teh olsat when you viewed it, you could easily teach dc the correct answers. assumign dc is reasonably bright i doubt they'd forget the answers. but i doubt many people ahve the ability to memorize the test and/or photograph it.
[ Reply | Options ]No, I'm talking about the parents' right to request a viewing of the OLSAT after the dc takes it. The parent then knows exactly how to prep a younger sibling.
[ Reply | Options ]yeah, I read on this blog http://edgeforlife.wordpress.com/ that he saw the Olsat test and my DH and I are going to hire him for September
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Younger siblings may have an advantage all the way through school. 7th grade chemistry teachers don't rewrite their tests every year.
[ Reply | Options ]OP: do not worry, there are several versions of the test. For example my DD got retested and it was not the same test. next years version will be different. I had a long discussion with one of the G&T specialists and there are multiple versions of the test. they are not that stupid.
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[-]Is it possible to raise 3 DC in the city? Some days I don't feel like we are done yet. We have 2 boys, would like another or maybe even a girl. If you do raise 3 DC here, what is your HHI? Thanks!
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I'm doing it now, but we just decided to move out of the city. So yes, it's possible, but kind of takes the fun out of the city, and life is much easier in the burbs with that many.
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We live in manhattan with 3 dcs and love it. Hhi was $1 million, but I was laid off so now is zero. Hoping to make around $500k when I find something new. It is expensive, though, if you do private school. We are looking at $100k+ once all 3 are in ongoing!
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[-]We are in FL currently (work-related) but are returning to Manhattan in August 2010. DS will be 2.10 in September 2010. I would like to get him enrolled in preschool for next fall, but how do we go about doing this since we are in FL during the admission cycle? Are we going to have to fly up there for playdate interviews? This is ridiculous.
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first come, first served. basically, you sign up. otoh, you could also contact parents league that august and see if any preschool has an opening. if you really want to apply this fall, you can. i'd bet preschools will make some adjustments so that you could schedule everything in 1 week and just make a trip up for it. apply to 4-5 preschools though, not 10-12.
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Are you deadset on trying for a tt ongoing school? If you're happy with public or a less competative private I wouldn't do it. And many of the preschools don't take kids until 3.
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[-]Curious about the UB perspective. I am 5'5" - How much should I weigh? Please include your age and neighborhood. TIA!
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110-115 if you don't want to be seen as a fatass, either way do what you want. Oh, I'm 29/EV.
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she's 29. wait until she's 45 and her rocker chick tats are all stretched out and nasty looking. she'll be singing a different tune.
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ITA. It's supposed to be 2-3lbs per inch over 5 feet tall. 115lbs would be the highest.
[ Reply | Options ]wrong. here is the correct answer. http://www.healthchecksystems.com/heightweightchart.htm
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Well, medically you are "healthy" if your Body Mass Index is between 18.5 and 25. Below 18.5 is considered underweight, 25 to 30 is overweight, and over 30 is considered obese. For someone 5'5", 111-149 is in the healthy range, depending on your build. Brooklyn, 32
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hmmm... i am the same height and weigh 155, but I think ideally I'd like to weigh 140. I am medium to large bone structure.
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[-]Tell me about non-classroom teacher professional positions in schools (counselors, push in teachers, enrichment teachers, etc). What are the days like, the pay, the training needed, the job market? I'd like to pursue a career that keeps me on the kids' schedule, but I know I can't be a classroom teacher.
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]social workers, guidance staff, college advisers, arts teachers can be part time but can also have full class responsibilities, special education teachers, ELL teachers both can either have full class responsibilities or could team teach or push in. All of these require a masters degree, except maybe an arts person.. but you wouldn't have to go through DOE, you could sub-contract for a nonprofit for that. I think all jobs in public schools, even the "good" schools are intense. Take a look at Insideschools.org
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[-]Tell me how to 'nicely' approach this subject. My dd is 2 and she has a friend that is almost 2 and they LOVE to play together. The other dd's mom and I get along really well and usually just talk while they play but we have only known each other for about 4 months. She gives her dd massive amounts of sugar. In one 2 hour period she gave her dd a Popsicle, a little tub full of chocolate chip cookies, gummy bears, and a chocolate candy bar. I am not a sugar nazi but I don't let dd have such large amounts of sugar because it makes her crazy. It also doesn't help that while she was playing over there she had a temper tantrum so she gave her a candy bar. I was so mad I just told them that we had to leave. I feel like I need to say something but...
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]you can or you can't. if you do, you will alienate the friendship, if you don't, your dd will just associate the friend with sweets. my ils cram my kids full of junk food, food is their distraction from the woes of the world (you stubbed your toe? here's a popsicle, i can see the teenage years, you got a pimple? have a deep fried snickers bar), i dislike it, but i only let it happen at il's house. my kids now associate ils with soda and junk food.
[ Reply | Options ]I would just tell your friend that your dd gets hyper when she has too much sugar and you would prefer her not to have it between meals. If she wants to give them a small dessert after a meal, I think it's fine, but that sounds really excessive. I have friends who give more sweets than I do and they know that I prefer for them to wait until my dds are gone to pile on the sugar (I also don't consider myself a sugar nazi). I have never lost a friendship over this and I don't judge what they do just tell them what I prefer for my kids. Similarly, when I have other kids over, I ask the parents if certain things are okay (e.g. certain foods, movies, etc.) and don't assume they will be okay with whatever I think is okay.
[ Reply | Options ]ita. Just let your friend know that you have to keep sweets out of the sight of your daughter. I'm sure that your friend will be able to hold off on treats for just the couple of hours of the play date. I've dealt with this and my friends were cool with not feeding my son excessive treats or showing him lots of TV.
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I think you can try to deal with it in a light way, saying something like "your dd is so calm cool and collected and deals with sugar ok, but my dd becomes a basket case, so I'm cutting back. Hope that's ok with you." Don't worry: I'm sure she'll get it. Most parents know that kids and parents alike have different tolerances and preferences for amounts of sugar they allow.
[ Reply | Options ]Can you bring a healthy alternative snack? Explain that your child is sensitive to sugar, etc. I can't believe someone would give their child so much junk food at such a young age, but nothing you say is going to change her. If she's a good friend, accept that this is one of her flaws and work around it.
[ Reply | Options ]I had a friend who fed her dc tons of sugar (didn't seem to affect them). Sugar did my my ds nuts. I just said, sugar makes him nuts so don't give him any. I told my ds you can't have any sweets. She gave whatever she wanted to her own children (when we were there) and I gave my dc his snacks. No problems
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[-]how old was your db when you first took them in a lake? ocean? pool?
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[-]I've started work recently and I nurse DB 6am, 6pm and 10pm and pump once at 1pm (I've done this for 2 weeks now). How long will there be enough milk? Will the milk supply completely disappear if I don't pump between 6am and 6pm? (my workplace does not have a place to pump, and pumping in the bathroom is what I have been doing so far).
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]each person is different - some manage to BF for quite some time, some stop producing milk pretty quickly. another major factor is how old the DB and whether other foods have been introduced. Without a doubt pumping at least once at work will help a great deal. alternatively, you can try feeding the DB more during the night, especially between 4AM and 6AM. good luck!
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OR here- for a baby this young, i'm afraid you need to pump at least 2x during the work hours to EBF. When my DB was 1 y.o. i started pumping 1x at work and maintained my supply for quite some time, but the DB had plenty of other foods. at 1.3 y.o. i stopped pumping at work and managed to BF until the baby was 2 y.o. by then BF was a comfort thing. like i said above, if you can't pump at work but want to keep BFing for as long as you can, you should try BFing in the early morning hours. It's a very tough world for BFing mothers. best of luck.
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