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  • [-]what time do your school age children go to bed? I have found that some of the children in my dd and ds respective classes who have problems tend to go to bed on the later side. I am big believer it should be between 7 and 8 (closer to 7). Thoughts?

    74 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.19.09, 03:54 PM [ Flag ]
    • My niece (5 years old) would tend to confirm your theory. She is very poorly behaved and goes to bed late. My sister insists that she has a bedtime but I don't believe her, I know at family functions and on weekends she doesn't go to bed before 11.

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      11.19.09, 03:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • 6 y/o dc goes to bed between 8 and 8:30. the dc in his class i would vote most likely to become a sociopath goes to bed whenever he wants or whenever mom can deal. usually at least 10, sometimes later.

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      11.19.09, 03:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • np: wow, 10 is late for a 6 yo. i think different kids probably need different amounts of sleep, but not having a bedtime at all or a really late bedtime that's convenient for the parents is probably an indicator of a family situation that may not be the most conducive to good behavior. my 5 yo goes to bed at 8.

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        11.19.09, 04:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • What age are you talking about? I think sleep deprivation is a big issue for my 13 year old. I try to get her to bed by 9 and often settle for 9:30 or 10PM (up at 6:40AM). It's not enough sleep for her.

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      11.19.09, 04:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • My 13 yo goes to sleep at 10:30 and 15 yo at 11pm, they both wake at 6:30am. They are actually getting more sleep than their friends.

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        11.19.09, 07:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • 6 yo, 7pm to bed, read for about 20 minutes.

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      11.19.09, 04:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • to bed 7yo 9:30pm; 9yo 10:00pm and sleep about a half hour later. My dc have never needed much sleep unfortunately. They do not have behavioral or academic issues, just low sleep requirement like their dad.

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      11.19.09, 04:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Are they short? Do they get colds?

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        11.19.09, 04:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • dd is 50% for height, ds is 90% so not short. they rarely get sick. in the past year, i did not have to take either for a sick visit to ped.

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          11.19.09, 04:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Is there a link between lack of sleep and being short?

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          11.19.09, 05:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Are they on the heavy side? Kids who get less sleep tend to be more obese.

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        11.19.09, 05:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • no, both slender and I usually have to buy slim pants for both. dd is 50% weight, ds is 75%. their sleep is meeting their needs. they need 9-9.5 hrs regardless of season, day of the week, bedtime. even this past summer when they could sleep in every day if they wanted, they were always up consistently after 9-9.5hrs. It stands to reason that an average sleep will have dc on both sides of the spectrum with higher/lower sleep needs. Mine have lower needs. DH is the same and never needs more than 5hrs a night. I need 8-9hrs so it sucks for me, but they are all perfectly happy.

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          11.19.09, 05:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • np: same here. my 4.5yo goes to bed at 9pm. I never have to wake him for school...he's up by 7 every day. just does not need sleep. not fat or short and no problems at school.

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            11.19.09, 05:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • 5 yr old used to go to be at 8 but since starting K, it's 7, and she falls right asleep.

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      11.19.09, 04:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Falling asleep is one thing, but how on earth do you get a school age child to bed at 7? I come from a country where kids stay up late and never had a bedtime--certainly didn't hurt me any at academically! I think 7 or 7:30 past babyhood or young toddlerhood is ridiculous, but if it works for your kids and you can do it, great.

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        11.19.09, 04:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • My kids go to bed at 7:00pm, but they get up at 6:00am everyday.

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          11.19.09, 04:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • check your ped's rec for sleep hrs in a night...

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          11.19.09, 04:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • np: If your kids get up at 6, they may need to go to bed at 7. Mine sleep till 7 or 7:15, so 8:30 is reasonable. They always wake up naturally so I don't think they need more time.

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            11.19.09, 05:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I live in a place where the sun comes up at 5:00 (actually around 4:50). Everyone is awake before 6 am, so my kids are definitely ready for bed by 7:00 or 7:30. Some people here put their kids to bed even earlier.

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          11.19.09, 07:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • i never had a strict bedtime, used to play outside until 6, eat, then play until 8, and go to sleep around 9 or 10. Even if I would've slept 10 hours, I would still be up at 7, which is plenty of time to get ready for school at 8:30. same with all my siblings and all the other immigrant parent kids i know.

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      11.19.09, 04:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • my dcs go to bed about 9:30. They are definitely tired in the morning. ON weekends, though, they wakes up ridiculously early on their own! Between one thing and another it is almost impossible to get them to sleep earlier. I know people say that makes us terrible parents, so be it. They are sweet as can be and absolutely no behavior problems and incredibly energetic when I see them at home in the afternoons--play nonstop--but they are definitely hard to get up so I assume more sleep would be good.

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      11.19.09, 04:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • My four year old goes to bed between 8-9pm and takes a two hour nap. No behavior problems.

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      11.19.09, 04:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • ha-ha-ha! wait until school starts, toots. you're gonna wanna shoot yourself.

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        11.19.09, 04:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • np: why? this discribes my ds too.

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          11.19.09, 04:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • because napping in kindergarten isn't an option. and then you'll be stuck trying to get a cranky, sleep-deprived dc adjusting to school on a new sleep schedule. translation: nightmare.

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            11.19.09, 04:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • I don't think so. First of all, its still 10 months away so he might outgrow the nap by then. Even if he doesn't he can make it until 3:00 when schools out and then nap at home. He sometimes has to be on this schedule now and its fine.

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              11.19.09, 04:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • right. good luck with that.

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                11.19.09, 05:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • Why are you so negative? Some dcs outgrown naps at 2.5 or 3 or 4 or 5. OR's might outgrown it this year.

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                  11.19.09, 05:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • sweet cheeses. why the attitude?

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                  11.19.09, 05:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • np. i have to say that every mom i ever knew who let their dcs go to bed whenever and nap at age four were slammed when they had to suddenly deal with school. i'm not saying dcs can't grow out of naps and suddenly start going to bed at a consistent and reasonable hour at age 5. but it's not usually the case when it's been that long of go with the flow. just posting an observation

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                    11.19.09, 05:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • my dc had a two hour nap when in prek---the absence of nap has just moved her bedtime up. not a problem otherwise.

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        11.19.09, 04:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • according to the aap, dcs between the ages of 3 and 10 need 10-12 hours of sleep per night.

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      11.19.09, 04:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • How old in school? My 5 and 8 year old go to bed at 8, my 11 year old at 8:45. They all have to get up by 6:45, and if they go to bed late they are TIRED.

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      11.19.09, 04:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • My DH is from an immigrant family, he is Indian. He never had a bedtime and thinks it was really bad for him as a kid, he thinks it stunted his emotional and physical growth. He wants to make sure that our DD (she is a baby right now) has an early bedtime.

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      11.19.09, 04:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • i'm immigrant girl who responded above...indian too. i'm guessing your dh is a family of all boys?

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        11.19.09, 04:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • 3.7 year old, preschool ds goe to bed at 6:15, up at 6-6:30. just dropped his nap, and making it til 6pm is hard! he needs his sleep!

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      11.19.09, 04:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • wow that's a lot of sleep if you include the nap. sad my dd dropped her nap before 3 goes to bed at 7 7:30 and up at 6:45

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        11.19.09, 06:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • my 6 year old is in bed between 8-8:30, up anywhere between 6:45 and 7:30. if i put her to bed earlier,she most likely would not sleep and i would hardly see her at all m-f. schedule works for us.

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      11.19.09, 04:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • My 5 yr old ds goes to bed every night at 7:00-7:15pm every night, including reading time.

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        11.19.09, 05:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • This is me. I work full time so I don't want to get home and immediately have to put her to sleep so I put my 3.9 year old to bed between 8:30 and 9 and she wakes up around 7:15. She's well behaved and her teachers say she's a joy in preschool so I see no problems. On the weekends we generally let her stay up as late as she wants so we can all hang out so it's closer to 11 with her waking up around 9is. It works for us as well.

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        11.19.09, 05:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • 7-7:30 for K

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      11.19.09, 05:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • my 7.5yo goes to bed at 8pm. She is well rested and very happy.

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      11.19.09, 05:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Thoughts? I think you are an extremely judgmental sanctimommy. I love that you are evaluating kids in your children's classes for "problems" and collecting data on their bedtimes. Forget that cause and effect might not be operating in exactly the way you seem to be concluding, as in "parents who are not as effective as I am in getting my children to sleep at an extremely early hour are making us ALL pay the price". No? Am I reading this wrong?

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      11.19.09, 06:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • she's not hiding her correlation and judgment. i totally agree with her btw!

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        11.19.09, 06:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • not op, but get the large stick out of your big bum and get with the program. this is ub. if you don't want to play along, go find a non-fair-trade coffee producer to picket or something. you're no fun.

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        11.19.09, 06:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Sorry, yes I see it is a full-blown sancti-mommy party! Have fun now ladies: one day you'll realize how little control you've had over it all, so you might as well keep pretending for as long as you can.

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          11.19.09, 06:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I get home at 7, so wouldn't work for us. Can't imagine getting them in that early even if I had better hours. If early works for you, great.

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      11.19.09, 06:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • it's what works for your dcs, not what works for you.

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        11.19.09, 06:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • np: It's whatever works for the family. You have to balance everyone's needs.

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          11.19.09, 06:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • no. in the case of sleep, which is crucial for a growing dc, you don't skimp on it for the convenience of the parents.

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            11.19.09, 06:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Huh? Parents have to make a living, if they don't walk into the door until 7 it is obviously not possible for dc to be in bed then. Half hour to talk to mom about your day is very important for a 5-7 yo, too.

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              11.19.09, 06:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • they can talk to mom and dad in the morning then. if you are propping dcs' eyes open up so you can actually see them conscious for two minutes a night you need to re-think your priorities. move closer to work, figure out a way to juggle your schedules (mom goes in at 8 and is home by 6, dad goes in at 9 and is home by 7). make some sacrifices that don't involve your dcs' health and well-being.

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                11.19.09, 06:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • NP: everything isn't that cut and dry. Earning a living to provide for your kids is a priority.

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                  11.19.09, 06:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • ITA. I love it when people are like, "Why don't you just move closer to work?" Thanks, I never thought of that! I do hope the price of an apt. in Midtown drops soon.

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                    11.20.09, 06:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • you are a nut. 8ish bedtime is fine for kids

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                  11.19.09, 06:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • The OR did not say her children are suffering because of their bedtime. Why are you assuming that they are? If my dc went to bed earlier, she would wake up earlier and not sleep longer, so why change her bedtime? No need to change bedtime if works for kid/family.

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                  11.20.09, 07:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • there is no indication in this OR's reply that her dc are skimping on sleep. even if they are asleep by 9am, perhaps they don't need to be up until 7 or 8am and are still getting 10-11 hrs. you have NO idea.

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              11.19.09, 06:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Me too, but our nanny puts the kids to bed and I sneak in. Unfortunately, if the kids know I'm home, they won't go to bed until 9.

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        11.19.09, 06:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • If your nanny is putting the kids to bed do you get to see them awake M-F? Not flaming, just wondering how this works and if you are all together in the AM.

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          11.20.09, 12:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • My dd, 4. goes to bed between 7 & 7:30 and honestly by 6:30 she's tired. She has a friend, 4, who is unbelievably undisciplined and is constantly acting up and he goes around 11. He gets up 7.

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      11.19.09, 06:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • 5 and 7 y.o. are in bed by 7 and asleep by 7:30 (8 at the absolute latest)

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      11.19.09, 06:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Ideally I agree with this...unfortunately I work and commute.

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      11.20.09, 06:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Another NEST question. Does anyone understand the recent email about kids having to start wearing plastic ID cards all day? I don't want to ask on the NEST forums because they're a little...high intensity, esp. when discussing admin. decisions. Anyone know what this is about?

    33 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.20.09, 07:06 AM [ Flag ]
    • Are you referring to this memo. "it has come to my attention that many of the children no longer have the IDs that were made for them when they first started at NEST+m. As it would help the School Nurse, the new Aides and the Dining Hall staff to have the children wear their IDs during certain parts of the day, I've asked the teachers to help identify all the students who need new IDs so that we can make sure every student has one. Thanks for your support on this endeavour."

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      11.20.09, 08:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • ... seems to me completely reasonable you portray "wearing plastic ID cards All Day" is a bit skewed.

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        11.20.09, 08:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • np: they are being asked to wear them all day, no? If not how will the new Aides and Dining Hall staff see them? BTW, is the capitalization in the memo or did OR add it?

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          11.20.09, 08:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • nope not all day, just to have them: I for one would want the school Nurse to be absolutely positive of the ID of my child before say giving nasal mist for H1N1 (which could hurt my child)

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            11.20.09, 08:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • You can't trust your child to tell the nurse his/her name? I always thought NEST was getting an unjustified bad rap here but kids in school having nametags is an insane rule.

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              11.20.09, 10:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • Sure the child is in Kindergarten can speak and write name address and telephone number; still two children in Brooklyn were injected with H1N1 vaccine without parental consent - the school nurse said they called the name and another child was sent to the office - nurse should have reverified - an ID would have helped - no real damage was done - but if child had an egg allergy or if given the mist and has asthma you never know what could have happened.

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                11.20.09, 12:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • ... don't get me wrong I don't think it is necessary either - but it doesn't bother me that my kid is wearing a name tag with his name on it. Now if was a dunce sign like we had to wear that is another story

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                  11.20.09, 12:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • I could also see where it would be helpful to quickly identify who goes where as it has been pointed out that there is not enough time for lunch etc... I don't have a conern about this - it is not like they are making them wear orange jumpsuites

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            11.20.09, 08:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • can I ask politely that since we have asked for more communication that it would not be a great idea to criticize the communication we get - I'm sure the author knows all the grammar rules- there are different standards when typing at places such as this rather than formal letters at least in my book

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            11.20.09, 08:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Do you understand the new policy, then? Sounds to me that they'll be wearing plastic IDs every day.

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          11.20.09, 08:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • it says "certain parts of the day"

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            11.20.09, 08:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Don't you find that weird?

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              11.20.09, 09:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • i bet it means not when they are in a place where their name and school could be learned by some pervert. not on the playground, not on field trips. just a guess.

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                11.20.09, 09:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • Honestly, I don't; but I respect that you do. Ours is a very diverse school population and you know what it is great but we all have different backgrounds - this seems completely normal to me.

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                11.20.09, 09:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • not a nest parent, but is this really necessary? presumably a genius who tested into nest can identify himself unless comatose. it just makes the school seem like a factory. glad our (very crowded) school doesn't do this.

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        11.20.09, 08:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • nest students use the id to check out library books & classroom books and to charge lunch - not to id themselves.

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          11.20.09, 09:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • gosh, we use the old-fashioned way. i guess we don't have enough reverentia pro sciencia at our school.

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            11.20.09, 09:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • yep bar codes rule

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              11.20.09, 09:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • it really is very helpful, (e.g. at my local gen ed free school lunch children are identified on a list which is supposed to be confidential but it becomes apparent who is getting free lunch - with a bar code parents pay website on the back end, or not, and there is no stigma - at least that is the way it is supposed to work.

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                11.20.09, 09:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • couldn't you use the website to pay without a bar code? or just mail a check? there's no stigma at our school and we don't have barcodes.

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                  11.20.09, 09:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • How is that possible? At our school each dc has a number and the lunch is charged to that number, and if you are free lunch you don't get a bill, if you are not you will not get anything.

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                  11.20.09, 10:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • So now-you must realize-parents from Nest+M are on UB.

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      11.20.09, 09:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • OR - did I come across as high intensity? because I tried to tone it down.......

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        11.20.09, 09:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • OP here, and I didn't think so, and I really don't want to be hypercritical at all - I give the new AP the full benefit of the doubt and she seems great so far - but I've never heard of an elementary school requiring kids to wear ids and I thought the email was cryptic enough so that maybe I just didn't understand. If it means that they grab them when they're off to the library, that makes sense. If it means they are wearing them clipped to their shirts all day or at recess, that seems very institutional and sort of creepy

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          11.20.09, 09:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I don't think they have to wear them all day. The admin just want the kids to have their IDs handy at school in case they need it. Went to the open house today... 2 kids were wearing it in one class, none at the other...

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      11.20.09, 11:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • perhaps you should come to school at least once a month to understand what is going on.

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      11.20.09, 11:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • you have a nice chance to do visit the school, today... Potluck dinner! Let me guess - you have other plans!

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        11.20.09, 12:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

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