[-]Has anyone else had swine flu or any other bad flu in the last several weeks? How long did it last?
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Yes, 4 of us had it. DD#1: got it first, moderate fever for 48 hours. dd#2: low-grade fever for 4 days, with one day of very high fever in the middle, moderate cough that lingers. me: low-grade fever for 3 days- turned into a head cold with a cough. DB: fever for 24 hours plus cold, but ped. said she probably had it too because they're seeing a decent share of mild reactions too.
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[-]Westport CT moms - Does anyone know the going rate for a daytime occasional babysitter for 2 kids (baby to toddler)? W/e evening babysitter? Housekeeper (really cleaning lady) who comes 1x/week to a 4bd house?
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[-]I hate people who don't like to try new or culturally different food. It really tells me a lot about who they are and I lose respect for them.
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OK. Because someone might be a wonderfully caring friend who constantly goes out of her way to help other people, and a lovely, intelligent, person who is fun to be around, but you know, if she's a picky eater, it's just appalling and you really should "hate" her and get her out of your life as soon as possible.
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Fine, might sound judgemental but I'm coming from a point of view of someone who is not American and when I offer food from my country of origin, I find that there are two different responses. Those who eagerly try and the ones who make a face and decline (or reluctantly take a teeny tiny bit). I've seen this enough all my life and have made my own very unscientific conclusion about these types of people and I'm usually right in my own very personal judgement.
[ Reply | Options ]You are correct that people who make a face or are reluctant are likely not especially adventurous people in general and may not rush into trying new things. If that's what you value, great. To me, that's way down the list -- after being a very kind and considerate person and someone with whom I'm able to have an intelligent conversation and who is generally happy and fun to be around.
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I don't like to travel internationally or dine at nice restaurants with these people, and maybe don't do teh fancy dinenr parties with them as a guest, but hate is kind of a strong word-
[ Reply | Options ]my brother is like this. he thinks panda express is "too fancy" and only eats kfc, burger king, and mcdonalds. i've never seen him eat a fruit. he's not fat at all either, he's 6 ft and 140 lbs. he always orders plain cheese pizza, plain vanilla ice cream, etc. i get so bored just looking at it!! it matches with his personality too, he's a very loyal friend, nice guy, but doesn't like to travel, meet new people. He has all the same friends since childhood and does the exact same thing everyday. I have met a few people like this, and the funny thing is whenever i ask "is your fave ice cream vanilla" they are so shocked, like i am a clairvoyant or something. Anyway, I would go nuts if my spouse was 'boring' like this, seriously i can't stand...
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Well first of all hate is a strong word. Why would you dislike someone because they don't want to try new food, seems odd. Since you are so ethnically superior then go to Japan and try their squid ice cream. That's right, they have it and the people LOVE it.
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[-]Going to a friend's db's birthday party (1 year). How much should I spend on a gift?
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[-]my friend got caught having an affair. pain to her dh, her child etc is enormous. not that she doesnt deserve blame/ridicule. but kills me that the guy gets away with it while her life falls apart.
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Well that should answer many women's question about what to do if they catch dh has an affair. Apparently consensus seems majority of men won't forgive. Why should women?
[ Reply | Options ]i think women tend to look the other way far more than men do. i cant believe the number of women i know who admit they think their dh has had affairs but they like their life and so they stay silent.
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so true. I work at a hedge fund and over heard a cpl partners talking about another analyst getting divorced. youd think the guy won lotto. they were green with envy
[ Reply | Options ]Of course, for men getting married is losing the race for women its winning it. Men would love another shot to race the horses.
[ Reply | Options ]whats funny is that they ALL have the same complaint- they feel like their wives chased them- wooed them and as soon as they got them they do nothing. you know things are bad when these guys say "i dont care about the money i just want out".
[ Reply | Options ]I am a lawyer, 80% of the men want out but every year they hold off to see where they can put their money or if they can shift it somewhere during a year they make a small bonus. Sad.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: Wow, you all have a pretty cynical view of marriage! Most of the guys in my family, my male friends, and the men I work with are pretty happy in their marriages. Including the ones in finance! I don't think marriage is easy for anyone, but a lot of people really value companionship and love their families. I don't understand this wives chasing men and then doing nothing thing... I guess among my friends, both members of the couple work and help take care of the kids, so nobody is "doing nothing."
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, friends with a lot of male coworkers. And we work long hours and talk about lots of things. Marriage problems definitely come up, but like the women I work with, in most cases men want to work on the problems and stay in the relationships they are in. To assume that most men are just biding their time until they can bolt seems unrealistic to me!
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Either the fakest post or pointless anyway BUT i can't resist: OP,The man isn't married to her family or mother to her children. The saddest part of such stupid betrayal is how the 'other person' is simply highlighted as NOT being part of THEIR life. The guy/man/other/doesn't play into the ugliest problems.
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were you interviewing this year or in years past? Asking because the person they have this year is new and is terrific. Much better than her predecessor.and there is only person who does the interviews so person below who thinks she "got the other one" must have also gone through a different year in my opininon.
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[-]picky eater advice! 17 mo dd has become the pickiest eater. one thing she will eat is applegate farms nitrate free, antibiotic free turkey breast. how bad is this is? dinner tonite: turkey and blueberries!
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[-]DD taking ERB next week. Anyone know where the Manhattan testing site is? lost address
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[-]i have a one week old and all the warm full bodied jackets i bought are too big for her and i cant get here well enough defined in them to put them in her carseat. any recs of a good tiny full bodied jacket for a newborn? thanks.
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]can you warm the car up before putting her in? If you put her in dressed warmly and then the car gets warm as you're driving she'll be uncomfortable and taking clothes off will be a headache.
[ Reply | Options ]Don't put her in the car seat wearing a coat - put a blanket over the carseat or use a BundleMe and make sure she has a hat & mittens on those cute little hands. once the car is warm you can take the blanket off and it's safer that way.
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[-]How is it that my child scored 98's on ERB's at 4 and is now a 5th grader (10)in the middle of pack at her single sex? She was not prepped in any way for ERB's as a preschooler, unless you consider preschool as prep. She was reading when she enter K, as far as age she is in the middle for her grade with an April birthday. I just don't get it, and am considering tutoring since she seems to be struggling to keep up. Advice, thoughts? Thinking about public school for High School since what I thought was a great private has not helped my child reach her potential. Unfortunately this is a real post.
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Not yet, but they will evaluate for reading since she appears to have comprehension gaps.
[ Reply | Options ]Is she really struggling to keep up? If she is in the middle of the pack, she may not be, but you have to be comfortable that she is not the absolute best in every subject. If she needs help with reading comp, that is easy enough for you to work with her at home on. I can see tutoring if there is a subject she is actually falling behind on but not just if she is in the middle academically. And, FWIW, 98 ERBs are a dime a dozen. Does not indicate higher intelligence among the private school students.
[ Reply | Options ]:) Wow this board is alot more helpful than I remember when I was here a few years back. You folks are all raising very helpful points! She is a strong reader, but struggles in class assignments with comprehension writing assignments. At home obviously more relaxed and needs far less guidance. For what it is worth her teachers get her. But it did surprise me when her teacher mentioned reading evaluation.
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Maybe your kid would have done less well if in public for elem. How bad was the test score? How have her grades and report cards read? if she is successful along those lines, maybe she is a bad test taker. the test for older kids includes stuff like reading comp, which you can't test at 4. If you are really concerned you should pursue a neuro psych or psycho ed testing, which tell you about HOW your DD learns and where she is strong and weak and what type of school may be most appropriate. Has school said she is not keeping up? Are they worried?
[ Reply | Options ]She is usually described as slow to start and finish. But this year may have improved slightly because it was only an issue with two subjects. She loves both classes, but is easily distracted by classmates. I think lack of sleep my be an issue.I was also more liberal with tv/computer/hand held games use, perhaps that is a factor as well.
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Because it's not just about raw intelligence. It's about motivation, attention, organization skills, auditory and visual processing. My ds got a 97 on the SB at age 4... due to concerns about issues like the ones I listed above, he was always in the middle of the pack at his academically challenging school. It didn't bother me though, he worked to capacity and his learning skills improved each year with maturity and practice.
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My ds is now in high school. His ability to be on top of his work continues to develop and he's now much more invested in his own academic success. When he was younger it was just "stuff he had to do". Maturity makes a huge difference for kids who've had the brain power, but not the motivation as young children.
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middle of the pack not so bad no? Better than bottom imo. Why is it so important to you that she be at the top, rather than where she is comfortable? A lot can change in ms.
[ Reply | Options ]Are you serious? ERBs are pretty much meaningless. The middle of the pack is a fine place to be, and many DC belong there. Unless she is depressed, bored, listless or unhappy in some way that is leading her to underachieve, stop worrying about her being "in the middle" and embrace her for who she is. And yes, get a tutor if she's struggling, or switch schools if she's unhappy.
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Agree with above poster! Have you ever read the mismeasure of man? Do it, it will make you feel better! Most of these tests are based on IQ tests, even when they claim that is not what they are... virtually meaningless for many kids as far as real potential. Just a test of acculturation at 4 YO!
[ Reply | Options ]It's funny I used to say the same thing to others. I guess I didn't exactly feel it applied to my daughter.
[ Reply | Options ]well said. i often wonder if these tests measure precociousness rather than aptitude or intelligence or academic potential. maybe the 99 means dc would make a great child actor but is not necessarily going to HYP?
[ Reply | Options ]think about this also some of the test is based on basic knowledge. If that knowledge was not taught to the 4 yo yet - how would they know it. They are so young. Not all parents sit and drill their kids with facts. Not all give them blocks to build with or teach them to write at that age. So many factors go into this test and it just isn't accurate at 4yo
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Is she in the middle of her class at a tt school? The group she is with is probably way above average. Middle is a nice, strong position, as long as she is motivated, learning, and happy socially.
[ Reply | Options ]Yes she is in the middle at her single sex. You all were very helpful. Brought me back to my senses and needed a nice verbal "snap out of it!"
[ Reply | Options ]that's the right reaction. ERBs are only helpful getting into ongoing schools. they are not a predictor of academic success or failure. think about it. your dc is taken to a strange room with strangers for 45 min - anything could and does happen. while a 98 is a very impressive score, it reflects as much about their success that day with that set of testors than anything else. while i am sure your dc is bright, if she's in the middle of the class and happy with herself, that's a big win imo.
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[-]How do you know if a soul of someone who died is truly at peace?
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[-]This sounds like a dumb question, but I really need answers. What does it mean to "work hard" at making a marriage good? I'm trying to figure out whether DH and I just need to work at our marriage to make it better, or if it's just done. If you could please give me examples of how couples "work" to make a marriage good, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]"work" is what I always hear to, but I think if it actually seems like labor (not the birthing kind), something is off. Effort/maintenance and compromise, yes - I think a big part of it is letting stuff go, i.e., your way is not always the right way, not getting hung up on stupid nitpicky things that in the grand scheme of things aren't important, not trying (too hard) to change things that you were well aware of when entering into relationship.
[ Reply | Options ]acting like husband/wife and not like roomates. praising and supporting each other. not getting angry about the small stuff. anticipating each other's needs, like making dh's favorite meal or getting him his favorite snack out of the blue just cuz you love him. oh yes, and having sex most of the time that he asks.
[ Reply | Options ]Actively communicating with your spouse. I don't mean hi/bye. But communicating about all things that concern you. Making a conscience decision to not harbor anger but to discuss your feelings. Listen to your spouses feelings. If there are issues to not push them under the rug for fear of someone blowing up or tuning you out, but actually discussing the issues. Then coming up with solutions that work for both parties.
[ Reply | Options ]it is hard work but i would suggest that an active sex life is both a foundation and symptom of a good marriage. also, listening to the other is critical. it's easy to tune each other out over time but you have to pay attention to what is important to THEM, not just you. even if you aren't really interested, you must recognize that listening is an investment you make in the relationship. it's cliche, but women look for fixer uppers and hope their dhs will become what they want them to and men think dw won't change at all. you have to stay interested in each other and that takes discipline and effort
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[-]Have you ever met some parents, and thought hope my dc never becomes friends with their kids? I've met quite a few and think it's sad that I came to the conclusion within minutes of meeting them ... some people are just plain WEIRD
17 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]this year ds and I have been on the same page. all the kids he has mentioned liking seem to have parents that I like. I guess the apples are not falling far from the trees.
[ Reply | Options ]There is so far only one mom who I do not care for in my dc's class. Our children play together often at school. My thought is to kill her with kindness. I don't want to be her friend, but she does not have to know that, especially if our children get along well.
[ Reply | Options ]So we're new to the school this year, and one mom asked me who I was - I told her I was ds' mom. She said Girl or boy? I said Boy - she said "Oh - my daughter only knows girls". Sheesh. Who says that? I mean it doesn't matter what sex your dc is, he/she should be able to recognize that there is an addition to their class.
[ Reply | Options ]That could have been me. I think she's just apologizing for not knowing who you are because her dd doesn't ever talk about kids of the opposite sex, and maybe you just didn't register at that moment. I've done that and then felt REALLY badly afterwards because it was at dropoff and I wasn't caffeinated....
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[-]This process is killing me. I am so unbelievably stressed out that dc will not have a good kindergarten to attend in the fall. and we have 4 more months of worrying before we know. Every time we talk aobu the process, I feel like throwing up.
26 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]You need to step back and take a breather. YOu are suffering some serious anxiety about something that is (a) out of your control and (b) in the scope of life, not that important. You might want to consider some anti-anxiety medication. This level of tension will be transmitted to your dc and is not good.
[ Reply | Options ]I was you last year. But I swear to you, things worked out for virtually every family that I know. I can think of only one case where a child had to attend an unacceptable local school--and that was because his mother failed to return the paperwork at a great school where he was accepted. Things will be OK :)
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I *really* don't mean this is a snarky way: try to find some perspective. You're talking about kindergarten. I know that you've been fed the line that if you don't get into a good kindergarten, you'll get into a crappy grade school, and then a crappy HS, only to end up in a bad college, ultimately with no career worth mentioning. Now look at reality. Look at people around you, even those you consider to be successful. Do you really see people whose success was dictated by their kindergarden? Ask yourself if you really believe that the mold is that strict and unyielding?
[ Reply | Options ]ITA. I went to public school all the way and still ended up with a career many envy. Relax and enjoy life with your dc.
[ Reply | Options ]np. This is actually not about the kid getting into a good school. This is about the parent who wants to be associated with a good school from the parent's point of view. You re correct that K does not matter at all in the big picture but it matters in regards to stats, bragging rates, pride, etc. Btw, I don't subscribe to that thinking.
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I absolutely agree. It's KINDERGARTEN. You're stressed? What about the mom who just got laid off and is panicking about how to feed her kids. The guy who needs a lung transplant but whose insurance won't get it? You need to get a grip and some perspective.
[ Reply | Options ]http://furniture-patio-set.s.0am.jp/index.html furniture patio set http://furniture-patio-store.s.0am.jp/index.html furniture patio store http://heater-patio.s.0am.jp/index.html heater patio
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Some very level heads prevailing here... thanks for the good advice all. I think I am on the opposite end of the scale - not that I have a cavalier attitude exactly but I know that we've done everything that we can to our best ability and now we're just going to wait until Feb. The only time I get a hint of stress is when I read posts like this and wonder "man - SHOULD I be more anxiety-stricken? do these people know something I don't?" Like the poster above, I don't equate DC getting into our FC as her one and only chance at happiness. Worst case scenario, we will send her to public and if it's a totally heinous experience, we'll apply again next year. Not ideal, but not such a horrible scenario either.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: I also feel fairly relaxed about process, though it's a lot to manage. But I have to say the responses that "it's only kindergarten" are idiotic. Of course she's not worrying just about the kindergarten, it's that it's a chance to find a K-12 school for your dc and your family. I agree it's not parallel to getting laid off or feeding one's children, but nor is it finding a school for one yr. Perspective means seeing the thing for what it is, not exaggerating it, but not diminishing it either. To OP, I hope you feel some more calmness, GL!
[ Reply | Options ]My feeling exactly. I was told by mom in my school "you will be so anxiety-ridden every time you see the mailman in February." What a crock! I figure that we did all we can do and that's that. Public school will be the default and if that turns out to be terrible, we will fix it. No point in worrying about this at all!!
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OP here--I know that kindergraten will not determine the future of my dc. i am a public school alum who went to ivy(hyp--since this board seems to care ), so know it can be done, and that ivy is not be all, end all. however, given some challenges my dc faces (gifted in some areas, needs help in others), I know both that we'll have a hard time getting into a school, and also that public will not work for us. dc needs a small class with caring teachers, or will have an unhappy experience. this is not about putting dc on a path to Harvard, but about finding a place where dc will strive. and, so, I am worried.
[ Reply | Options ]It's really stressful, but I would try to avoid getting fixated on one school. Last year things did not go well for us, we ended up at a school we didn't even look at initially and amazingly, it is fantastic. I feel like we got really lucky in the end, through no skills or strategies of our own. It seems to work out for most people in the end, and even when it doesn't (like in our case) sometimes in the end it does.
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[-]Women who have had high risk pregnancies, please recommend a GREAT maternal-fetal medicine dr. in the city. This will be my 2nd preg., I wasn't crazy about my first MFM doctor.
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Thank you very much. Let me also add that I am high risk for two reasons- #1 I'll be 36 when I TTC and #2 I have epilepsy and take anti-epileptic drugs. Everything worked out great the first time, but I'm looking for a kinder, more attentive practice as I'm a few years older now. If anyone has epilepsy + over 35, I would appriciate feedback! TIA
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Dr. Hutson, privileges at Cornell. Only one other doctor in the practice, Dr. Kessler. Edersheim was my OB for #1, and then retried from this practice last summer. But I really like Hutson, who was actually the one who delivered ds. I am trying for a VBAC and they've been supportive. Good Luck!
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[-]are most of the crazy college admissions moms strivers who didn't go to those "top" schools? despite the fact that i went to "hyp" and had a good experience there, i am so totally not worried about this for dc's. they will be who they will be! and given how young they are, i have no idea whether they will have the academic horsepower or desire to succeed at one of those "desired" colleges. rant over
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[-]Anyone know the NY family legal system well? I'm not in a relationship with my baby's father. I dont agree with his lifestyle at all and he is not responsible, wont get a real full time job etc (because apparently he is destined to be famous- ha!). I want to get child support - even tho he probably wont give me much since he wont work and I have a very good income - but I still need help!
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]file for support. just understand that he has parental rights too. (and don't make fun of the man, you had a kid with him)
[ Reply | Options ]I kept my baby because I love her... I 'had a kid with him' because I really liked that bottle of wine. I think men who refuse to step up and take on responsibility of any kind are kind of a joke.
[ Reply | Options ]Please its the same with divorce. My ex DH turned out to be a loser, you never know sometimes
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Well, since you think he is so bad, why would you want to open the door for possible visitation rights with db? I am in same situation, and did not pursue $ from father, as I did not want dc to be with him at all. And he has never wanted to see dc, so it makes life simpler for me.
[ Reply | Options ]didn't know if there was a way to get financial support but only have to give limited/supervised limitation. He wants visitation but not any responsibility.
[ Reply | Options ]Well, no judge is going to take your word that he is unfit father. So you would need to prove i. Big $$. And be careful, he gets a clever lawyer, and you might end up paying support to him if he is not working but wants to see child.
[ Reply | Options ]i hope an email from his mom confirming his coke use, photos of him partying all night through my pregnancy at weird parties with naked guys and his living in a 5x7 room with no bathroom kitchen or water would suffice??
[ Reply | Options ]It would help, but you would be surprised in NY. I had page 6 story about dh's drug use to back up my side of the story, and judge would not discuss it.
[ Reply | Options ]Can I just ask though, why do you want to have any contact with such a f-up? It surely can't be about the money? Do you want to get him to become more responsible? Why do you care at this point? Isn't it time to move on, and not even think about this guy and his problems? You sound great, maybe you should get on with your life, meet someone else etc.
[ Reply | Options ]Its one of the options I'm considering.. and would prefer. But I think I get a little freaked out about finances, with the nanny and the bigger apartment... and also think he should grow up and take some responsibility. I know he wants to know her but then I feel that it should be in moderation and with him contributing financially
[ Reply | Options ]I guess you would have to get a 3rd party to supervise, (I am assuming you don't want to have to hang around) It would be nice for db to have relationship with dad, perhaps set up school fund for db, have hi contribute into it, after 6 months or so of regular payments, maybe consider visits of a few hours at a time. Unless you want to go to court etc, you could perhaps figure out something between you. And with his parents too?
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[-]The fact is that schools promote their biggest donors to the best schools. So even if your kid is brilliant and at a TT school, if you are not a big donor to the TT or to the college, they are not going to push for you. Happened to us at HM.
41 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]you are using this as an excuse. College admissions are more independent than this.
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No, they're not. The college counselor at the TT school will not even recommend the top colleges to your kid if you are not a major donor or alum there. Trust me on this.
[ Reply | Options ]guess what! you don't have to apply only to those colleges recommended by the high school. You are totally wrong with this whole premise.
[ Reply | Options ]Right but say your kid, who gives little $$ to the school or the college, is applying, vs. other kid, perhaps with lower grades but whose fam built the library. Comprende?
[ Reply | Options ]again, maybe it matters at some schools that really need the $$$ and don't have other big donors, but this is simply not true at hyp
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btw, admissions today are much much more competitive than back then, and legacies matter much less (though they still matter)
[ Reply | Options ]ITA. Bush probably wouldn't have been admitted today. Remember, even though he was in the WH, only one of his two DCs got in.
[ Reply | Options ]weren't his dds already in college in 2000? either way, did jenna want yale? we don't know if she even applied. she seems very UT to me (not necessarily a bad thing).
[ Reply | Options ]You're right, they both took a year off to help him campaign between HS and college. So he had been Gov of Texas and they were 4th generation Yale when applying. If I had to guess, the Yale Admissions Office told Jenna not to apply, it would have been too embarrassing when she got rejected (really poor grades/SATs).
[ Reply | Options ](a) those are the ones you hear about - they aren't talking when DC is going to Nassau Community College; (b) despite what you might think, many of these people are very smart themselves - they probably wouldn't have been as successful without some semblance of a brain (although I'm not talking Paris Hilton-types, I'm talking Meryl Streep-types), (c) they could afford the best educations for their DCs from the start and you are paying attention to it, most people don't notice or care until someone's Dad shows up to speak at graduation.
[ Reply | Options ]well, it does seem like celeb offspring either go to Ivy or become DJs. In any event, you won't convince me that the offspring of Jack Nicholson and Rebecca Broussard is smart. Meryl Streep, yes, she went to Vassar and Yale before she was famous. That's how you know if someone is truly smart, and Ivy isn't just taking them bc s/he starred in Transformers 3. I went Ivy, there were plenty of stupid kids there with rich & famous parents. Contrary to popular belief, the hardest thing is getting in. Almost no one flunks out.
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just so you know. jack nicholson's dd is at brown. her mom is rebecca broussard. so is denzel's dd. now tell me again last name doesn't matter.
[ Reply | Options ]Brown has been that way for ages - JFK Jr, Diana Ross's DD, Rory Kennedy, Emma Watson. . . That said, one or two a year (at most), out of a class with hundreds of DCs doesn't really show a trend. My brother went to Brown - our Dad was NYPD. The one consistent factor is that the DCs they admit are smart enough to succeed at the school, and so are many of the DCs they reject.
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if your family built the library at the college they don't need the HS to push for them. if they built the library at the HS the college doesn't care. the HS is more concerned with the % accepts at top schools than with which kids they are. those acceptance numbers are what keeps people flocking to them
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A TT guidance counselor is not going to push a big donor kid who is not qualified over students who are qualified. They would lose all credibility with the top schools.
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Sorry but I think the real answer here is either your child is NOT brilliant or you and dh are a PITA or most likely both of these factors.
[ Reply | Options ]Ok. Check back with me when your kid at the TT school starts getting told to apply to some crappy school even though he has kick-ass SATs.
[ Reply | Options ]So you believe that being at a tt and having good SATs means a child is automatically an excellent candidate for HYP? I really do get the need for defense mechanisms for coping with life's unpleasantries, but I don't get the need to convince the world at large that your coping mechanisms are reality.
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This is the premise of "The Price of Admission"- that legacy status, connections and "development potential" or donation potential trump smarts as an admission criteria at almost all elite colleges.
[ Reply | Options ]true. but Princeton's decision to admit a legacy moron is its own choice. It didn't succumb to pressure from moron's HS college admission counselor. That's the diff. The HS has its own interests to protect.
[ Reply | Options ]^^ I meant to add that top schools takes lots of smart kids based on grades/scores alone. money, legacy status, and connections will never trump brains. But if 2 applicants have the same grades/scores, then yes, those other things matter.
[ Reply | Options ]ITA. The top schools have so many qualified applicants they can't possibly admit them all. Therefore, a qualified leg or child of someone with status will have a leg up over a qualified nobody. This child will also have even more of a leg up because they have been given priviledges and opportunities that help them to shine. They may have traveled extensively, had an expensive private school education and/or access to internships or volunteer opportunities that appeal to colleges and make them appear more interesting. This is the way of the world and continues after college through grad school and jobs. To deny this is silly.
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