[-]I'm going Speyer. Done. I don't care what you guys say. It is the best for our family. AND I don't have to keep up with the Jones's.
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[-]Is it true that Columbia Grammar cancelled their camp for this summer?
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[-]How do Ugg boots typically run if you are a 1/2 size? I am an 8 1/2 - do I get an 8 or a 9? And please don't say go try them on - want to order a pair on line and curious what others have experienced...
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[-]Children's Aid Society preschool: How's the separation process for the 3's program? On our tour, it seemed a little short/brief. Other schools seemed more open to the idea that it can take a few weeks, maybe longer for some kids.
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]It is pretty efficient. The class is divided into two groups who attend two different shorter sessions during regular class time along with their parent/ caregiver. I think that this lasted about a week. Slowly the class entire class is integrated into their regular time - and parents start leaving their children. Some schools do this process slower, but it worked very well for most children we knew. My dc was quick to separate and we actually found that my being there was a hindrance to her. If anything, I was sad because I really wasn’t missed! In her 2's class there was a child who did have a difficult time, and the mom was able to stay after drop for a longer period of time.
[ Reply | Options ]IMO, a drawn out separation is actually worse (unless the kid is having a particularly hard time with separation). You'll be very surprised at how well it goes. the clingiest kid i know separated in a week without a single issue, and I thought separation was going to be a disaster of traumatic proportions for all involved.
[ Reply | Options ]the first week parents are encouraged to drop off but are allowed to stay in the classroom until dc is settled. by the second week, while parents are still allowed to stay, they should be trying to transition dc into being dropped off. by the third week, all parents are expected to drop off. (obviously they are allowed to enter the classroom to say brief good-byes, but that's it.) weeks of having parents lingering in the classroom is just too disruptive.
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[-]Ideas; Advice. My 5 year old brother (yeah, I'm 27 years old, big gap, etc..) was recommended for a vanguard program going into 1st grade. He is taking the Stanford test in January...what score should I/we be expecting? I WILL be raising this kid in 15 years, so I want to knowwhat I'm in for. TIA!
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[-]Schools that carefully select the most able students SHOULD have the greatest success in placing their grads at the most selective schools, a few years down the road. This does not mean that those schools are better at educating their students. And it does not mean that your DC will be desireable to these colleges, if only you could get DC into a TT school.
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But they would probably teach dc to spell "desirable". Spelling aside you are wrong. HYP don't take students from TT NYC private for any other reason than they are better educated than the majority. Period.
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I totally understand what you're saying, and I do agree with your point - the reason so many dc's from TT schools get into Ivy is b/c the TT schools screen for the qualities those colleges are looking for, esp. when they look at high schools (and as much as they can in earlier grades, which admittedly is pretty much a crapshoot). However, I will also say in the schools' defense, they do provide a great education too; it's just that it's not the education that gets them into college. And fwiw, I think most NYC schools that I have seen provide a fantastic education.
[ Reply | Options ]The headmaster of Calhoun is very charismatic and I think impressive. When we went on a tour, he was talking about a student that they had who was brilliant. His point was that The kid would have gone to MIT or Harvard no matter where he went to school but at Calhoun, they were able to get him interested in other activities that he may not have found at other schools bc they exposed students to so much. I thought it was nice that he framed it that way - whether it was true or not.
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I find this whole debate today ridiculous. I went to HYP from rural, undesirable public (and I've seen others post this on here too). The students from the tt schools throughout the US did not have any persistent edge. Yes, it took us a semester or two to catch up in terms of study habits and learning what the graders wanted for essays, assignments, and tests. But after the brief catch up period, the students were not distinguishable by K-12 schooling in terms of achievement, class standing, or general well-roundedness in conversation. If you want to pay for a tt K-12 education, go for it and be content with your choice. But stop trying to defend it (to yourself, I assume, because most of don't care) as and inherently better lifelong educat...
[ Reply | Options ]Quite similar to: "I am not impressed by the Ivy League establishments. Of course they graduate the best - it's all they'll take, leaving to others the problem of educating the country. They will give you an education the way the banks will give you money - provided you can prove to their satisfaction that you don't need it." (Peter DeVries)
[ Reply | Options ]Let's flip this though, and look at schools like brooklyn Friends that place a very small number into HYP. Maybe I misread (their college placement on their website), but it looks like they placed only ONE student in HYP in the last FIVE YEARS. I know children there with highly intelligent, educated parents (who attended HYP or Stanford), and WHY is it so VERY few of the children of these parents are getting into HYP from Brooklyn Friends? Having met some of these children, I think the children too are highly intelligent and have tremendous potential. So then, what is happening? I don't believe ALL the brilliant kids are leaving (although a good number do leave for schools like Stuy or other sought after public or private high schools). Cre...
[ Reply | Options ]surely some people will flame and say we should forget HYP as a measure of success, and maybe we should, but one can still wonder and ask why there is this disparity in placement records among the various private schools in NYC, all of whom charge in the ballpark of 30K per year per student
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I'm not even sure that it is legal for them to do so. I know there is a Supreme Court case that held they have a right to get married, but it didn't discuss divorce. Hmm.
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i didn't ask can they, but do they. i don't think so. i think their unions are stronger and thus last forever.
[ Reply | Options ]np: are you serious? you realize that they are human, right? and what about all of the interracial couples that never get married, but have a kid and then break up? what about their unions?
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I know two couples that divorced, and one of them were interracial. God you'e so weird... and patronizing... and a little racist.
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np: when you assume something of people, based on their race, it is racist. even when the stereotype is positive, it is racist. they are people, they are not defined by their race. interracial couples are human, with human flaws, just like any other sort of couple!
[ Reply | Options ]Because it assumes that interracial couples are "special" somehow. Like they're not like any other couple. Just because it's not a negative per se, doesn't mean it's not racist, since you're still making judgements and assumptions based on race.
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in all seriousness, the rate of divorce for interracial couples is actually lower than for couples of the same race.
[ Reply | Options ]^^ I'm in an interracial marriage, and I know that for us and for other couples I know, one thing that happens is that when you're dating because you're interrcial you just communicate on a different level and you take your relationship more seriously because you have to deal with some external and internal stuff that others don't necessarily have to deal with.
[ Reply | Options ]many couples who are not in a biracial relationship take those relationships seriously.
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Do you seriously believe this? OK, I'm in an interracial marriage for the last 13 years and I can honestly say before we got married we didn't have any conversations about it. We just saw each other for who we are. It wasn't any big discussion with our families either. They both could care less what race we are, as long as we're happy. Now this might how something to do with the fact that both my husband and I had dated people of many different races before we got married so race was no thing to us.
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I'll bite. I am not in an inter-racial marriage perse, but in an inter-cultural marriage. I think for those that date and marry outside of their and their family's comfort zones, you have to really love the person to deal with all the surrounding noise. My wife was told that our marriage would never last because we aren't the same religion, and both my mother and grandmother flat out told me I shouldn't marry my wife. We are now in our 6th year of marriage with 2 lovely children
[ Reply | Options ]We are in our mid-30s and many of our friends/family/acquaintances are getting divorced. I guess the point is that a lot of people who marry others from very similar backgrounds may be doing so just to please family or take the easy road. Dating someone of another ethnicity/background/race takes a lot of guts, and marrying them even more so.
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[-]Help. 3yo son is starting to hit a lot - his sister, the cat, me. Separated from dh for almost a year now, but I think it's just sinking in for him.He is so broken hearted when I scold him, but I feel that I cannot allow the hitting. I think I do a good job of getting him to tell me when he is sad and misses his daddy, but it's just becoming really hard. I'm trying to make plans for him to see DH outside of the alternative weekends, but DH is either unavailable or can't commit until last minute.
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]You need to discipline when he hits. I know he may be angry but he needs to learn that it's not okay. I am sure he is upset/angry about it but it will continue if you don't try to stop the behavior. He is old enough to understand that you don't hit.
[ Reply | Options ]op: I will - but how long is it going to take to sink in? And time outs don't work because he just runs away - what works? I don't know how much more the cat can take ... also just hard to see my little baby boy changing into someone that hits, he was never like this.
[ Reply | Options ]Time outs work if you can put up with a few days of consistency. Every time he runs away you put him back. Do this as many times as it takes. It once took me about 20 times before she gave up and sat there and accepted it, once had a friend that had to do it about 40 times. Stay right there and when he sits up sit him back down right away. Be sure not to spend any time lecturing b/c it is suppose to be a punishment. Now all I have to do is say the word 'time-out' and my dd doesn't bother with whatever she was doing. Any men in your family (brothers or anything) that would get a little more involved so your son has some male interaction?
[ Reply | Options ]op: brother lives out of state. and I work full-time, so i have to cram all of this into evenings and every other weekend. but i hear you - and i will do it. he only does this when he is with me.
[ Reply | Options ]why not try praising good behavior such as if you don't hit for the whole entire day I will take you to toys r us instead of punishing which doesn't seem to be getting the desired results. also some alone time with just you and him would probably work wonders.
[ Reply | Options ]That only works for one day, unless he gets a new toy everyday that he doesn't hit. You shouldn't have to offer rewards for good behavior. While I do believe in positive reinforcement I don't think bribing a kid is a good thing. All he does is start up again and then stop, in order to get a new toy. Totally ineffective. Bad behavior that is harmful to others (like hitting) needs to be disciplined and saying positive things when he doesn't hit is also good. Give him lots of positive reinforcement when he doesn't hit and punish when he does, pretty sure he will realize he likes the attention more than the punishment.
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Get him a giant inflatable boppy cushion. Tell him to go hit that instead. He needs to take it out on something.
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[-]How do you wean a 15 month old when he is loving the breast for comfort at bed time? He isn't getting much milk at this point. I want to be able to put him to bed without a boob pretty soon.
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I guess play the same music, give the same snack, read the same books...try to set up an atmosphere that he associates with feeling drowsy....maybe have a little sippy cup of warm water...not really the same thing, but hey.
[ Reply | Options ]I have heard others say to have dh handle the nighttime routine. He is old enough for a sippy cup of milk at night. DS knows that his father does not supply the milk so he will probably take the sippy from him more than from you.
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[-]Does anyone else her have a problem with a certain singer LB who sings about spaghetti?
22 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]When my dd was born, my mother ran out and bought the CD and memorized the songs. I had to sit in the back of my parents minivan as they drove around singing that spaghetti song at the top of their lungs. My dd was 12w at the time and really didn't give a hoot, it really was one of the most annoying experiences I have had in the past few years.
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UB is the ONLY place I have ever heard of this singer. I think someone on here is obsessed with her.
[ Reply | Options ]ITTTA!! I'm convinced it's either LB herself or her publicist that keeps posting these innane questions. The only problem with that they usually end up in a flamefest of how boring and banal her music is... probably NOT the type of feedback they would like. But I guess in that line of biz, any publicity is good publicity?! FWIW - my kids immediately ask us to turn the channel when Berkner comes on Nick, for which DH and I are all too eager to comply!! Cannot STAND her "music"
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Wasn't there some movie/TV show where Emma Thompson played a similarly annoying singer? Can't remember what it was but it was hilarious. I always preferred Raffi myself or heck--how about just regular music?
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[-]Ivies+Duke+Chicago+MIT+Stanford+Amherst+Williams+Caltech (20005-09): Brearley 53%, Horace MAnn 48%, Trinity 47%, Spence 45%, Chapin 41%, Dalton 39%
98 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]did you pick out the schools that B sent the most dcs to? please stop already. caltech? isn't that a (gasp) PUBLIC school?
[ Reply | Options ]np: FWIW I am the poster you slammed below for being some Crazy B mom, I did not post this.
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Caltech is probably one of the toughest ones to get in and it is sort of like MIT
[ Reply | Options ]of course. but it is not small, ss, private, elitist, or any of the many reasons B moms give for B's alleged superiority.
[ Reply | Options ]You people really have a bug up your a$$ about this school what it the problem here?
[ Reply | Options ]I would have added Cooper Union. Nobody from Brearly went there. It's extremely competitive bec it's free and their engineering is top notch. Probably smarter kids apply there than MIT or Caltech.
[ Reply | Options ]You don't know anything about Caltech, do you? It's private and smaller than almost all of the Ivies.
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Cal Tech is not only private, but back in the early 90s when I was applying to college, the average math SAT score there was a perfect 800. I joked that there was no way they were ever going to accept people w anything less, no matter how good their app, bc they were not going to give up that perfect number!
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The problem is that if you go to one of these private schools, or even some top notch public schools in 'burbs, you are often "brokered" much like preschools do. You may love Harvard, but if the school decides some other kids are going to be the kids they recommend for Harvard, your chances of getting in are much lower. It's fine if you are the chosen one for the school you love, but if not, you are better off being one of the top students at a no-name public school and applying to that school.
[ Reply | Options ]This is just not the case. You are never better off at a no name public school in the burbs. We are talking about a 50% 'rate of return' on excellent schools for only 50 dcs. That is 25 every year in the top schools. The other 25 also go to top schools with an exception of one or two, schools that would make any no name public drool. And that is not even beginning to discuss the comparison in the education itself
[ Reply | Options ]I would choose MIT, Stanford but the other schools are random. I could have chosen different schools to judge. Clearly, B mom put together a list that puts them first. And how she did not include Collegiate is telling. Trinity did not even publish 05-09 stat, so I don't know where she got that number from.
[ Reply | Options ]Sure it is the case. If all you care about is getting into "any" highly ranked college, and you need extra help to achieve that, then a private school is for you. However, unless you are one of Brearley's "chosen" Harvard applicants that year, you probably won't get in. If you are the top student at a no-name school, you have a far better chance of getting into Harvard, and frankly, can easily get into one of the other top schools you list if you are a top student.
[ Reply | Options ]If all you care about is college admissions and judge a school by that alone than I fear for your DC. The difference a top education makes is immeasurable. Beyond that, you would never convince anyone here that a no name public with 500 students has numbers like any of those listed above. They just don't. Why fight it.
[ Reply | Options ]but they might know how to use colloquialisms appropriately. like peace of mind.
[ Reply | Options ]LOL -- I think YOU are the one judging a school on college admissions! I'm just pointing out that I'd far prefer my extremely smart dc to apply and attend the school of her choice than to be "told" which school she can apply to because the private school decides which kids should go to which colleges. Of course a no name public with 500 students doesn't have those stats because 490 of them don't even apply! But if you are one of the 10 students who do aspire to those schools, you get a great chance to go to the school YOU want, not the one that helps the private school have good exmission stats! That's what I want for my dc -- don't you?
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In your anger you failed to address the first part of my post which was pointing out that education, rather than admissions stats, makes a school. That, rather than a perceived shot of HYP by their mother, is what I want for DC. So clearly you would prefer - in your belief that public allows you to go to better schools more easily - that your dc suffer from a poor education so that they can struggle at Harvard rather than a great education and excel at U of C.
[ Reply | Options ]LOL -- do you think if you call me "angry" enough I'll actually get angry? Because I won't! I just laugh! This post is about admissions stats. I've posted my own opinion on a "better education" elsewhere, but I'll say it again. My sibs and I went from a no-name public to those schools listed above and graduated summa and magna cum laude. Surprise! The top achievers at all those schools are as likely to be from public schools as privates.
[ Reply | Options ]^^^and the only conclusion I can make if you keep insisting that the education at a private school is far superior is that the kids from private schools are far more stupid to begin with! Because if education was indeed "superior", then smart kid + 13 years "tt" education should easily surpass smart kid + 13 years "poor" education when they get to college, right?
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i have posted this question before and i'll post it again. if nyc privates are so superior to publics and privates anywhere else, why oh why, pray tell, is there not ONE SINGLE NOBEL PRIZE WINNER from any of these schools for the last 100 years? please, someone, anyone, answer!
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Hey, you left out the B mom who was all upset that dd ended up at SUNY when neighbor's Stuy dc went to Dartmouth.
[ Reply | Options ]Where was that post? b mother here and I would say that sounds like someone posing as a b mother to get a reaction
[ Reply | Options ]no, no, it was a serious post from last spring. no one was snarky, people were really supportive, and saying that whatever school it was (i can't remember) is actually strong in the arts. i think she said she felt embarrassed to have spent so much $$$ when neighbor didn't. but people responded like, well, dd got a great education for K-12, and she'll always have that. but if you're at B (I am guessing you are at the lower school), you have to know that in addition to substantial turnover at MS/HS, many dcs just don't go to great colleges.
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Golly, you don't supposed the kids who attend these schools have a leg up in terms of wealth, privledge, education, vested parents, etc etc, do you?
[ Reply | Options ]They probably have a leg up over you in spelling. What's your point? This is not comparing
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You know the % of the Bushes that went to Yale? What a special family!! Must be all very smart.
[ Reply | Options ]Not a Republican, didn't vote for any of them, but last time I checked, they were Presidents and Senators. Who are you?
[ Reply | Options ]Not sure what your point is. Mine is that posting these stats are meaningless, because the Bushes didn't go to Yale or became Senators because of their own merits, but because they have had several legs up in their lives. The kids who attend these private schools have several legs up, too, so posting what their "exmissions" are does not mean the schools are magical places that churn out Ivy grads.
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of GHWBush's 4(?) kids, only Dubya went to Yale. Because after admiting him, Yale decided it could do better than take the bottom-quarter of an Andover graduating class. Bush's 3 other kids did not go Ivy. True story.
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I think schools with similar sized graduating classes should be compared with each other; i.e., Brearley with Spence, Chapin, NBS, Collegiate, etc and in another group, HM with Trinity, Dalton, etc. It doesn't seem fair if a school gets 5 kids into Harvard, say, and have it total to 10% of their class whereas another school needs to get 20 kids into Harvard for it to count as 10%.
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Where did you get these percentages from? I just calculated Brearley and I came up with 45% - not 53% - attending the same schools during those years. It's kind of nitpicky and yet it makes me not believe any of your numbers.
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[-]Anyone crave citrus and fruit while pregnant instead of junk food?
25 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]granny smith apples... and alcohol! (Don't worry, i only indulged one of those cravings... ; )
[ Reply | Options ]Pears. I've had more pears in the last 9 months than I've had in 30 years of my life.
[ Reply | Options ]haha I craved citrus junk food like starbursts and skittles, but let me tell you, it was the only thing that kept my morning sickness undercontrol
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i found her dismissive, distracted and kind of a phoney bitch!. she asked me every visit if I "did fertility treatments" (i'm 37), even though I told her each time, no this was an unplanned pregnancy. I didn't want ultrasounds on every visit, but when i asked ways to see if the pregnancy was progressing (like monitoring hgc, etc) she snapped at me and said "if you're worried, get the ultrasound, if you don't want it, just be happy". my blood pressure was in the 70/50 range all during the 1st tri and she said "my patients don't have problems with their blood pressure" ??? the best was each appointment she came in with a phoney smile and said "i'm glad you're here"
[ Reply | Options ]^^ also - it's like night and day with the new ob so i don't think i was being overly critical with worth... maybe she was having a tough time coincidentally when i was seeing her but it just wasn't worth trying it again.
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[-]Gift ideas please for twin 6yo ds and dd. $25 each. thanks!
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the fun of the jewelry making kit is MAKING the jewelry as well as wearing it. I see nothing wrong with that. It takes skill and creativity. Girls would like an ant farm too and she can play with it with her bro and I have a sneaking suspicion that bro will want in on the jewelry making.
[ Reply | Options ]by the way, I am the OR and I am an engineer. always loved science. and I loved creating and designing things. Perhaps that what inspired my ideas. Get over yourself already and silly concerns about being un-pc. Girls can do whatever they want today!! I hope you moms out there are not denying your little girls pink and frills and jewelry making kits because you think it is not pc.
[ Reply | Options ]I think that either is fine as a gift individually, but together they scream "I believe in ridiculous gender stereotypes". IMO, if you don't know the DC well enough give something you know they would really like, give something gender neutral. (And I would consider the ant farm a gender-neutral toy, not a "boy" gift.)
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mindware is a great company to check out for books and games that are challenging, especially for kids who are puzzle-solvers
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[-]Collegiate boys blow B girls out of the water for ivy. The non-ivy schools B moms picked out are not so popular among C boys. This is why you can't pick which non-ivy to compare school stats. Much easier with straight ivy comparison. Also, if you have to compare apples to apples, you need to divide by same category of common denominator.
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Very helpful post - I am sure there are a lot of kids deciding between the two schools?!?
[ Reply | Options ]LOL. I can't figure out why this OP is so hot and bothered about comparisons between Collegiate and Brearley. She's posted this as a response to a few threads but rarely gets responses, so she finally started her own post. I have this vision of a woman pacing angrily around her apartment with steam coming out of her head!
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