[-]Entering the mommy wars. Went to a friend's house for a party. The DH quit his job to stay home full time while the DW went back to work after being home for 4 years. My DH and I have always worked full time with our kids in daycare. Well at one point, she turned to me and said "We felt it was important that one parent always be home. Daycare kids are so awful." Now, I never once critized her in her decision to stay home but apparently she felt it necessary to knock me. Any ideas how to handle this instead of just popping her in the nose?
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It's lame - just said that daycare kids are more likely to be overweight. But even they admitted that they didn't take into account affluence or parents education level, which is a big factor. I mean, I WOHM but not out of necessity and both my DH and I have grad degrees from top 10 universities - are any of my family members fat - NO. Different story if I'm working to help keep the family afloat and more likely to eat cheap fast food/crap, regardless of whether I worked or not. Also said that SAHM's are more likely to take their kids to the park, etc, than child minders would be. PLEASE. The study was obviously not done in NYC because those parks are more full of nannys and kids than actual parents!
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Just be confident in your own decision. I have a frenemy who says this sort of stuff all the time. When I was suffering through the private school admissions process, worried about where dc would land (they decided to move to the burbs) she said"We know Jenny would have scored through the roof and gotten into a tt school but we felt it was terrible to test a four year old and would not do that to our child"--whatever
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[-]Iran testing nuclear weapons. I thought there were no weapons of mass destruction out there.
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[-]At what age is too young for an email account? My SIL got her kids email accounts starting at first grade. Everything was about technology-they never had board games. My DCs went to spend the weekend at MILs house and she went ahead and set up accounts for them and had them emailing their cousins-WITHOUT OUR PERMISSION. She said "well they need to be friends with their cousins." Excuse me?? My kids are in kindergarten and third grade; the cousins are in middle school. So angry right now I could scream.
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My 8yr old has had email for about a year now (since 2nd grade.) There are restrictions - like he is only allowed on the computer when I'm around, etc. and I, obviously, have access to all his email...but, honestly? I think it would be a disservice for him NOT to. He has great computer skills and his typing is getting very good...skills I think are very, very important. He also has a blog he updates, adds photos to, etc. (private and only family members and some close friends have the access)
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oh, who cares. calm down. you're better off teaching them how to use the computer, etiquette, and what's appropriate than trying to cut them off from the real world.
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ita. they were emailing cousins. Your house though, your rules - don't let them at home on your computer if it bothers you. I don't think it is any worse than TV, video games, etc., etc., etc. Better than most. Obviously, WRITING a letter to the cousins would be ideal, but I think you should let this one go.
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whoa! I would be pissed. I am going to have the talk with dc about everything you type now can be found by employers later - and your children are WAY TOO YOUNG to get that. I would tell dc that MIL didn't know your rules about email - and even tho they have these accounts they ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE THE COMPUTER. Period. Wouldn't say too much to MIL. I'd just deal with dc.
[ Reply | Options ]you don't let your kids use a computer? really? wow. my kid does computers at school (including how to use email)
[ Reply | Options ]np: I don't let my kids use the computer either. It's basically another video game, and we have plenty of video distractions available already. I figure they'll pick up computer skills when they need them. I learned at 26 and now I'm a web designer. We used to let them on Webkinz and I really disliked it because it was all about purchasing stuff, and other mothers would argue, "but there are educational games on there!" It is what it is, let's not try and make it something it's not.
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[-]Why is our society still obsessed with marrying before starting a family? What is wrong with a fully committed couple, living together and having a family?
82 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I don't think there's much wrong with it at all & don't see a big backlash at all. I know a bunch of people who have kids & aren't married (including some gay couples, who would love the choice btw).
[ Reply | Options ]It's because we're still very religious by and large. When you look at the Scandinavian societies (most of which have very high levels of agnosticism/atheism) many people aren't getting married at all anymore and the couples are still treated as being seriously committed to each other. If American society ever moves away from being so religious, the same will probably happen here.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scandinavia Traditionally it's only Norway, Sweden, and Denmark. It think that Finland should definitely be included these days as it's developed way more in that direction in the last hundred years and has close political ties to the 'true' Nordic countries. Iceland and Greenland (as a territory of Denmark's) should also be included. Switzerland is definitely not part of the Scandinavian pastiche, even though the people are blonde haired and blue eyed. It's really its own thing, but I think it also has low marriage rates and fairly equitable treatment of non-married couples. :]
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not really - we are in this category, and have very few legal rights or benefits
[ Reply | Options ]so why don't you just fill out the paperwork. you are essentially married. why would the paperwork be a stickign issue for you?
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seems like a circular argument. you are saying that you don't get the legal rights or the benefits. so obviously it's necessary to get the things you want.
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what about common law marriage? I belive after 7 yrs a couple qualifies for that.
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It makes it a lot easier to walk out if the going gets tough, and it does sometimes if you are not married. You have a lot more rights as a spouse than you do as a girlfriend and you won't have to go through life explaining to others (including your children) what your situation is. What's wrong with someone standing up in front of your friends and family and the government and saying that they love you are committed to you and only you and promise to live by a code of rules that you two have agreed upon. If you can't do that, then you really should re-think starting a family together. Having kids is hard, having two parents who are committed to each other makes it much easier.
[ Reply | Options ]I totally forgot about the legal issues. Yea, in some other societies where the marriage rates are going down it's also possible to have either full rights (hospital visitation, joint tax filing, etc.) or pretty close to full as a non-married couple.
[ Reply | Options ]Not to get off topic but I really felt horrible by how poor to downright vicious partners (same sex or opposite sex) where treated by insurance companies, pension plans, their partners' families of 9-11 victims. Ugh. But we're a society based on "the good book". Too bad some people forget all those other parts of the Bible like do unto others.....
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What's wrong is that we shouldn't HAVE to stand up in front of the government to legitimize our relationships. If two people are committed to each other and to their children, it's no one's business but their own and the people with whom they choose to share it. The State of New York has no business in our homes beyond ensuring our children are safe and well cared for.
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But what's the difference then between being a "fully committed couple" and getting married? Why the resistance? If for nothing else, I'd say for your DC's sake when they start asking. And because calling the 41-year-old parent of your children your "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" or "partner" sounds kinda stupid.
[ Reply | Options ]Yeah, we need a good word for it. "Significant other" is cumbersome and "partner" sounds like same sex couples.
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so you want me to get married because you haven't come up with the right label for us??? no thanks.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm just genuinely curious WHY you wouldn't get married to someone to whom you've already committed your life to in every possible way--finances, housing, children, etc. It's not the lifestyle that's different, it's just the refusing to make it "official." And do you seriously refer to this person as your "boyfriend" like you're 17?
[ Reply | Options ]Why does it matter to you? I've been married for 12 years, but if we never got married, I'd be fine with it. It's just a label.
[ Reply | Options ]It doesn't matter to me--as I said, I'm just curious why anyone in a committed relationship with children would avoid the "label" of being married. Personally I don't care--I'm divorced--but I've definitely sensed some awkwardness with kids whose parents aren't married--kids tend to like labels and being able to clearly define things. And frankly I know plenty of gay couples who would be quick to argue with your notion that it is just a "label."
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If you ask individuals this question, they'll almost always say they don't have any problem with unmarried families, but you're right that, collectively, our society still rewards married couples, from tax advantages and federal benefits down to friends telling you "it's okay" that you're still single at 32, with the implication that you'd be much better off if you'd find a spouse. It isn't a bias that's going to change anytime soon, but it is slowly changing (the single-parent stigma has faded significantly over the last several decades). If you want to help change it, www.unmarried.org.
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There is no marriage penalty. There is now a marriage bonus, in fact. What used to be called a "penalty" was a fair standard deduction (a deduction from income, based on basic necessities of life) based on the fact that two married adults living together can live far more cheaply per person than two single adults living apart. This has since been adjusted and now married couples get the same deduction per person that single people get. once again, the federal government passed policy and tax law that rewards people for getting married.
[ Reply | Options ]before this was passed, it was actually a penalty. an unmarried couple had a tax advantage over a married couple.
[ Reply | Options ]Not a penalty. An unmarried couple still had (and has) a more expensive life on a per-person basis than a married couple (based on total household expenses, not just rent and furniture - this includes things like health care, car & life insurance, legal expenses...). This is why the standard deduction for married couples was set lower on a per-person basis, and why it should have been left that way.
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i do think that many unmarried couples who live together like spouses find it easier to break up, but that's their problem, not mine. otoh, unmarried couples do not have the same legal benefits and that is a big problem. most women i know who are childless bc they could not find a spouse are not stuck on the "marriage" issue - more on the long term committed partnership w kids issue. if you can't find a serious committed relationship, it's the same problem.
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I am like this. I was (believe it or not) a virgin when I got married at 27 because I was saving myself for marriage. Once we got married then we started a family and I didn't want to do it the other way around. Our society has made it acceptable to do what you want when you what and often the results (later) don't turn out like you planned. My dh and I are both happy for the decisions we made it waiting to get married b4 having children but it is different for everyone. The question I wonder about is all the people I hear about getting married 'because' of the pregnancy. If they weren't willing to get married b4, what if anything, changes?
[ Reply | Options ]We are a fully committed couple, together 13yrs, 3 dc, not married. I am comfortable with it, though some of the issues raised above are significant namely lack of benefits and what to tell dc. Oldest is 9yo and so far we have deflected the when did you get married question. Honestly, just haven't figured out the best way to explain it. We do share health ins, life ins beneficiaries, etc but that is luck. Might need to change ins now and my primary option won't allow me to add opposite sex domestic partners. I refer to DH as "husband" simply because partner or boyfriend require too much explanation. We keep talking about getting married, because it is not particularly meaningful to us, why not just do it? But it's a catch-22. If we do it we...
[ Reply | Options ]All people deserve the opportunity to enter into a loving relationship with a long-term partner and to create a family and a home. This is the most basic of human rights universally accepted worldwide. Families are the main organizing structure for our society, they create order and predictability. They allow us to nurture one another and share lives great joys and sorrows. Families, which come in many shapes, forms, and sizes, give life meaning and significance. Unfortunately, the legal protections that go along with relationship recognition and family units are not a reality for most LGBT Americans. TWO CONTRASTING NUMBERS • 24% of Americans lives in states that recognize same-sex relationships by way of marriage or domestic par...
[ Reply | Options ]Not to digress, but it kind of chafed me on Top Chef when one of the lesbian contestants protested a "wedding" challenge because she couldn't participate in the institution but then on the next episode when they had to cook a meal for the Air Force, she seemed to have no issues at all. Have we just come to accept "don't ask, don't tell?"
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In parts of the US, particularly in blue states and big cities, it is generally no big deal (and it shouldn't be). But there are still large parts of the country where people think it's just plain wrong, for religious or other reasons. Just look at that couple who made national news by getting married at their 7-year-old son's funeral because "he always wanted us to get married." You can't tell me they don't live in a town where people believe firmly that children (and sex, for that matter) are for marriage and people exert pressure to keep it that way.
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from a legal standpoint it is better to be married. I also like the symbolic aspect of marriage, makes it easier to stay committed when the going gets tough.
[ Reply | Options ]From a legal standpoint, I'm glad I stayed unmarried. If we ever go our separate ways, we won't have to go through a divorce and my entire legal and financial life won't be legally attached to his. I hope we stay together for the rest of our lives, but if we split, what's mine will be mine, not some lawyer's. (With the exception that every couple of years we meet briefly with an attorney to discuss what will happen with the kids if we split, how much child support I'll pay, etc. The kids' interests always come first.)
[ Reply | Options ]Well isn't it great that non-same-sex couples have all the options and choices available to them. I tend to favor equal choices, thus I support equal rights for all committed couples.
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we already have kids, and can get married in but a few states--however our marriages do not transfer state to state. I can't wait for the day when my partner of 17 years pressures me to get married, my son gives me away at the alter, and my granddaughter is the flower girl. Yeah, I want that pressure.
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i'm finding this question very irritating. why not get married? if your big complaint is the legalities, then just make it legal. if your big complaint is the conformity, then you won't care if you won't conform.
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[-]Is anyone out there expecting and wrestling with whether or not to get a flu shot? Ummm...I am.
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I'm pregnant due late October - I'm def. getting seasonal flu and if H1N1 is available will get that too. I've done a ton of research and have come to the conclusion that it's safer than not getting the flu shot - especially because baby will be newborn during winter flu months and can not get a flu shot so she will have some protection from mine (and from breast milk) just my opinion though...
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When I was pregnant last Oct. my dr. obgyn wanted me to get it but I refused--I live in NYC and was fine. I did NOT feel 100% comfortable doing it and therefore simply said no, I washewd my hands frequently (also door knobs and kitchen counter tops--with white vinegar and water), took good care of myself and avoided large crowds in confined areas. Do what makes you comfortable.--
[ Reply | Options ]I expect I will (due in Dec), although not excited about it (particularly H1N1 / swine shot), wish it had been tested for more than a month on pregnant women. But the mortality rate of women in the 3rd trimester is not great, if you end up in the hospital with pneumonia around 10% of the mothers die (babies survive fine) according to a CDC study from earlier in the year. If you have symptoms call your dr. right away, if you take Tamiflu within 48hrs of first onset outcomes are much better, for everyone, including pregnant women. FYI, I'm no dr, but you can read all this on the CDC site. I have also recently read that pregnant women should get their dr. to write a prescription ahead of time, so if you need it you don't have to take that ex...
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[-]What are you reading now? Anyone like a Fraction of the Whole?
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[-]What is wrong with pizza? Can someone please tell me why some mothers get all upset when they see pizza on the table at a birthday party? I have never heard of this until this year. Thought some mother was going to call social services for my serving pizza at my 3YOs party.
36 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]How dare you not serve organic tofu, organic bean sprouts, and organic beet dip at a child's birthday party! You should be shot!
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These are just complainers---Now you know who the PITA mommy is...Avoid mommy & child in the future. BTW: How was the quality of her gift?
[ Reply | Options ]LOL-DH's best friend's wife. It was okay. They are kind of strapped so it was good. BTW-we never get a thank you from them for gifts. But those sulfate laden hot dogs are sure good!
[ Reply | Options ]This is why we always have an "adult only" lemonaide/bar selection and adult snacks/food at all b-day parties... We never have complaints about the pizza.
[ Reply | Options ]We couldn't do this at this place. There was an "after party" back at our house for the adults-she didn't come.
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I really don't understand adults who can't go an hour and half without foie gras. Jesus, it's a kids' party! They should have a sandwich before they leave the house if pizza offends them so!
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Every single bday party we've been too for 5 and under has had pizza as the main course. never heard anyone getting upset about it.
[ Reply | Options ]i had one of those moms at my dcs party last year. it was the first bday party of the school year, and i was nervous about it and meeting all the kids and parents. this mom made a comment right in front of me "pizza and cake?! this is healthy." i was so embarassed and felt horrible. then every other party had the same thing. it's what kids like, and parties are supposed to be fun. (of course that mom didn't have a party for her dc)
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[-]DH just got back from biz trip. Found note on hotel stationery with hooker names/numbers (confirmed via google). Had suspected but this is most concrete evidence. WWYD?
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OP: so many thoughts going through my head. I could email him their photos that are on the web. Or leave print-outs on his desk. ask him how he pays for that when we are struggling to pay mortgage and FT babysitter. ask him if he had fun with Kennedy and Pheonix while I took care of our kid during phase-in week. it's so absurd, the thought of counseling seems ridiculous. my feeling is, ask him if he wants a divorce or to continue in a sham marriage for the sake of our kid and his traditional family.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm so sorry this really sucks for you. Why did you suspect dh was doing this? Has he cheated on you before?
[ Reply | Options ]I previously found escort ## in his search history (two days before our wedding - he said he didn't go through w/ it and I wrote it off as wanting to try it before marriage) and another time found escort info on a note when I was in my first trimester. Again he said he didn't do it. 2 years ago he had a dalliance with a co-worker which I discovered after it got physical but (he says, and I believe) before it was a full-blown affair. That was what triggered counseling. At this point I wonder if he wants me to find out and kick him out.
[ Reply | Options ]enough about him, YOU need help. This man has proven who he is. If you believe that is good enough for you - then need MAJOR counelling. Woman - THINK
[ Reply | Options ]OP: Your analysis is a bit simplistic, no? and based on almost no info? the irony is that he is a really great person in many other ways. I've been divorced once, no desire to do it again. Not everyone needs the storybook marriage. I just don't want to be humiliated.
[ Reply | Options ]I"m calling fake, her "analysis" is not simplistic. The man repeatedly goes to hookers and put her (and her dc's)health in serious risk. First responder is right, get an AIDS test NOW! He also has affairs. Any person who would tolerate repeated illegal behavoir, lies, affairs has a self esteem problem.
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Look Hillary Clinton is still married and so is Sptizer, both these woman are very intellegent and somehow made the choice to stay.
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OP: believe me, I know I have problems - I bet you do too! and I also think this happens a LOT, women put up with it and don't tell their friends. You probably know more people who have looked the other way than you realize.
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You need to keep this information to yourself. As much as you want to flash it in his face, talk to an attorney first.
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I know me and I know that this isn't something I would likely be able to overcome. I do agree with you in that life is complicated and we all have issues (some more than others). (1) I know you know this, but this has nothing to do with you (2) The fact that he is obviously lying about this (and this isn't the first evidence of infidelity is a greater issue. Its really easy to say what we would do when we aren't in the situation. Before I got married I said I would walk out immediately if my dh cheated on me and while I haven't told him, I'm not sure I would. Things aren't always so black and white. The reality of it is that he is putting you in a very unsafe position and you should feel safe in your relationship. Good luck with whatever yo...
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[-]Law ladies and moms: I am mid 40's and hate my job. I think I really want to go to law school. Is this crazy? Also, I am scared to take the LSAT. I am generally pretty smart but not very good at math do I have a chance at doing well on the test?
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yes well probably 90% of the world hates their job right? I am in a ridiculously terrible profession that I somehow ended up in and I need to start over unfortunately.
[ Reply | Options ]I understand that, but I think the myth about law is that it's well respected and well paid, but lawyers put up with a lot of crap, work long hours often doing work that is not stimulating and it's only those at the top of their profession who are making the big bucks. Not saying it's not a respectable career, just saying I don't know if it's necessarily a career that one would run away to to be saved from another career. If it's something you're generally interested in and inspired to do that
[ Reply | Options ]^^^that's one thing, but if it seems like a way out, I'd seriously look into other fields as well. Not being snarky at all, just being honest and realistic. The other thing is that you'd still have 3 years of school and while law is not as youth oriented as some fields, I still think a new attorney in her mid-40's would have a tough time. Again, if this is really what you want to do, I wouldn't let that deter you, but if it's just an escape from your current career, I'd explore other venues. Good luck. I really mean that. It sucks to feel stuck.
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I think as long as you understand that not everyone who gets a JD ends up making big money, you will be fine. Hopefully you will not have to take out student loans either. The job market, particularly in the private sector, really stinks right now (tons of articles in the NYTimes about new associates being laid off). DH is a lawyer w/a government agency, went to a top 10 law school 10 years ago, and thanks to enormous student loan payments, we live barely a middle-class lifestyle. He always says he wouldn't do it over again, as do most of my lawyer friends.
[ Reply | Options ]If you are scared to take the LSAT, you don't have the right temperament for all the crap of a legal career.
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The LSAT is more like the SAT in that you don't need to study for it--it's testing your aptitude for the skills needed for law school. Some will argue of course saying that kids study for SATs and there are courses for LSAT prep but the LSAT is in no way like the bar exam. I went into the LSAT cold and did find (oh, and I was 32 when I took it). Your performance on the LSAT will loosely tie to your performance on the bar exam so if you do well, you should have what it takes to get through law school and the bar, if you don't do well, that might help you make up your mind. Best of luck.
[ Reply | Options ]I cannot disagree with this more. First, there's no math on the LSAT so you don't need to worry about that, it's all reading comprehension with the exception of the logic portion which is like games. You should absolutely study for the LSAT if you hope to score in the 170s, most well-read people should be able to take it cold and get in the high 150s-160s, but a 170+ is a requirement for any of the top law schools. You definitely need to study the logic section unless you generally have a great aptitude for situation games.
[ Reply | Options ]I also agree with this. Although I always wanted to go to law school I decided on a whim one year (at 25) that it would be at that moment and only had a week and a half to prepare for the LSAT. Needless to say I did not do very well (high 150s) but still managed to get into a top 20 school but am sure that had I prepared I would have had a better choice of schools. In contrast, I studied long and hard for the bar (NY) and did very well.
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Very hard to get any entry level job as a lawyer right now. Could be better in 3-4 years but there will be a bottleneck right in front of you in terms of people just starting out.
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Don't do it. My husband is a laywer and works like a dog. The pay in his case is pretty good, but his degrees are from the best schools in the country and it really almost doesn't make up for the long tedious hours. The point about firms not hiring now is a good one. There have been massive layoffs at many firms and even those that haven't are slowing or even freezing hiring. His firm is now only looking at people with degrees from the Ivys and Howard (for diversity) as are many others. We're also waiting on tenterhooks to see if he's going to get a bonus this year. Itretty stressful. Start reading the blog AboveTheLaw to keep abreast of happenings. It's not pretty. It'd be much smarter for you to become a doctor or something if you have th...
[ Reply | Options ]Funny, the lawyers I know who add diversity (i.e. are black and/or women) all went to Harvard and Columbia, not traditionally black schools.
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What I was attempting to communicate was that graduates of Howard are considered alongside the Ivys solely to hedge the diversity bet. Other schools of that calibur are not given as much weight during recruiting because they simply aren't good and don't allow for that extra chance to hit the quota. I know AAs from the Ivys as well, but that's not the point now is it?
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i am a very good problem solver, extremely smart (logic, analysis, verbally quick) and I am very interested in the failings of the legal system. I love reading about legal cases and I am a devotee of the constitution and the bill of rights. hokey sounding i guess
[ Reply | Options ]have you thought about other careers that involve the law, but without the commitment of getting a JD? Researcher, investigator, paralegal, there are more...
[ Reply | Options ]A friend of mine (male) considered at age 43 to go to law school. Instead, he took a 16-month paralegal course at NYU and was amazed at how quickly he was able to land a six-figure (low six-figures -- $116K) job after graduation. He likes working in the legal field, but he also likes working *only* 9-to-5, no weekends or holidays, and with a union contract that offers job security (at least more security than a non-union job) and overtime pay for even one minute past 5:00 p.m.
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clearly i'm in the minority here, but i'm a lawyer and i've had a rewarding career. the beauty of a jd is that it is a versatile degree that you can do a lot with other than "practicing law." most of the posters so far refer to their dh's and are not lawyers themselves so their perspective is different.
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My aunt went back in her early 40's and had a rewarding career for 20 years. She loved it and was very happy that she did it.
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medical sales is such a cakewalk compared to law. I don't think you'd adapt well to the grind. The advice to become an investigator or paralegal was good.
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One thing to consider is that much of the appealing, high-profile type of legal work to which people aspire (challenging unfair laws or unequal access to healthcare, protecting civil rights and the environment, etc.) is done either by low or moderately paid nonprofits or government, or by private firm attorneys using a fraction of their time for pro bono. So if you need to make a "real" living (6 figures), consider whether you would enjoy litigating contracts and commercial disputes or negotiating deals between corporations. This is somewhat oversimplified, but do look hard at the kind of work that attorneys for big vs. small private firms, solo practitioners, and public interest groups/gov't do.
[ Reply | Options ]listen closely: if you want to be a lawyer, make sure you spend lots of hours learning about the lives that lawyer's lead - the schedules, what they do, the stress etc. i personally think it is one of the worst possible choices (i chose it myself). you really need to do your homework on this one.
[ Reply | Options ]As a lawyer who likes her job, I think law can be a great profession. I would caution, however, that law school is a big commitment of time and money. It's best if you have an idea of what kind of job you want coming out of law school and what kind of money you want to make before you make the commitment. What your ultimate goal is will affect how much money you are willing to spend on school and whether, in the end, you decide law school is worth it. Compared to finding a job that makes you happy after school, the LSATs are a minor hurdle.
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lawyer here. find out how long LSAT scores are "good" for and then make a plan for that many years +1. year 1 - keep your job, take a prep course, take the LSAT. then figure out the best schools you have a chance at getting into based on your scores, and if it's not at least 2nd tier, forget it. if top 10 or 20 (depending on where you're located), apply and see how it goes. if between top 20 and bottom of 2nd tier, i'd apply and defer or hold off applying and try to get a job (any job) in the kind of organization you'd hope to work at after graduating. admission, scholarships and employability will be greater with actual experience in the field, with the added advantage of helping you to understand whether you actually want to be a la...
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[-]I was at a friend's house and noticed that her 1YO DD's crib is right next to the window. When I immediately said, "you need to move that crib", she looked at me strangely. Who doesn't know that a crib doesn't go next to any window?
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I wasn't rude about it-just matter of fact-shouldn't be there-she could tumble out of the crib and the window.
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I agree. We don't have window guards, so we don't open the windows in db's room I would be more concerned about any blind cords though.
[ Reply | Options ]You are so right. I've been trying to convince my husband that blind cords and these hanging lights we have are dangerous and he's so nonchalant about the whole baby safety issue. I finally had to bring in a baby-proof consultant (had a free coupon) to prove to him I didn't suddenly turn into whack job with regards to safety and baby. I'm actually not over-protective. He's the one afraid of germs jumping on the baby with bottle of Purell everywhere. LOL.
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ITA. If anything I would have phrased it as a benign question. And I would never issue an order to a friend such as....you need to move that crib. It's not your home and not your baby and certainly not your right to be throwing around orders. A simple...do you think it's safe for the baby to sleep in a crib by the window?
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[-]Capitol police are estimating that between 1 to 2 million people are protesting out of control government spending today.
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How did you confirm it with the police? How do you know their estimates are better than anyone else's?
[ Reply | Options ]I asked my source. The Parks Police oversee the protection of all the Capitol's monuments and work closely with the secret service.
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I don't understand this response at all. When did this discussion turn racist in your opinion?
[ Reply | Options ]You're right. UB can get ugly quickly and for little reason. I'm not defending that. I was asking about the racist comment because I've been surprised in the past when I've been called rasist for completely non-racial remarks. I worry that if people call racism too quickly we will all become hardened to it and real racism will start to be ignored. Kind of like the boy who cried wolf. In this thread I don't know the race of anyone. Although I have started to think of you as AA since the KKK comment.
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Look at the first photo on this link. That's way more than 2,000 people http://michellemalkin.com/2009/09/12/celebrating-the-912-rallies/
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[-]So PS 44 has now been subdivided into four separate schools? How's that going to work?
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I thought it was 3 schools because IS 44 is being phased out, and replaced with a new middle school. Computer School has the top floor, the new middle school has the 2nd floor, Anderson has the first and ground floors. It's a huge building.
[ Reply | Options ]But IS 44 still has kids who haven't yet been phased out so that's one. The new computer school is two. West Side Prep is three and Anderson is four. All in one building.
[ Reply | Options ]so what? Maybe West Side Prep and IS 44 are sharing the same space, and who knows the actual number of students in each. I have been inside the building (Anderson parent), and the place is huge. I don't see the problem.
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another anderson parent and, according to my dd, so far she hasn't even seen a kid that attends another school in the building -- the building is so big, their paths don't even cross. anderson has its own cafeteria, auditorium, specialty rooms, library, bathrooms -- the only shared space is the gym (on the 2nd floor). the building is huge.
[ Reply | Options ]Another Anderson parent here: the cafeteria and auditorium are used by all the schools in the building, as is the gym. The principals have worked out the scheduling so that for the most part, only 1 school uses a space at a given time. Anderson does have its own library, specialty rooms and bathrooms however.
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[-]LAWYERS OR HR PEOPLE: DH company (which he left a couple month ago) just called. It was an HR people saying something about an error in payroll and that we need to call her to resolve this. I know his last paycheck was for 2 weeks pay and he only worked one - but I thought that just was how the check was suppose to be. We don't have the money anymore as we are moving to a different state and DH is going to start a new job soon. The Money was used to pay for COBRA.. Do I need to call them back and return the money months after the fact?? Are we responsible for their error?
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]How do you not have the money anymore? It was only one week's pay? You have no savings?
[ Reply | Options ]Actually, just today I was chatting my office manager - he said that when they accidentally overpay former employees there is nothing the company can do other than ask for the money back. but i'm in california so maybe the law is different.
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