[-]What's your favorite newspaper and what's your favorite magazine?
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[-]With the radiators starting for the cold weather, my skin is drying up like a prune! I'm lathering cream on my face but it still feels tight and dry. Any product recommendations? Any remedies?
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if you are working in a office, place a large bowl of water on your desk, also drink lots of water. The other thing you can do is after you wash your face, don't dry it, put moisturiser straight on to your damp skin. it will hold more moisture and stave off dryness.
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Oil, any kind really, applied to damp skin after your shower. Honey is a great humectant as well. You can put it on while in your apt, it will pull the water out of the air. Rinse it off with water and washcloth. Finally, the biggest drier of skin in cleansing. Make sure you're using something very mild. HTHs
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Way back when -- in a long ago era, when it was mostly just men who went to college -- there was an unwritten rule among college professors that as long as the student was giving it the "ol' college try" in class, even if he wasn't "getting" the material, the professor would bestow upon him what was known as the "Gentleman's C". In other words, as long as you demonstrated you were trying, it was an agreement between two gentlemen (professor and student) that the student would at least get a "C" grade.
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[-]What are some standards your mother told you about that you find outdated? Here's mine. I read (or my mother told me) that a civilized person never leaves the house without a clean, freshly-ironed cotton handkerchief, perhaps sprinkled with a drop of perfume. I like carrying fresh handkerchiefs, but my teen dd has no use for them and says they're even unsanitary if you're sick. She recently rushed from the house after I thrust a fresh hanky at her, blew her nose once, absent-mindedly dropped it in the vestibule before getting in the elevator, and as I retrieved it, I never gave her one again. She doesn't deserve it. She can't understand that someone spent time ironing what she carelessly dropped. I should probably make her iron 20 of...
42 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]them - then she'd maybe understand how I feel. What standards have you dropped in your home that your mother or grandmother said you had to have?
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better to stay at home with dc. full breakfast (eggs, bacon, toast). don't kiss on the first date. inappropriate to take vacation with BF if not married. yadayadayada. all eye rollers- just not my life.
[ Reply | Options ]Ironing sheets. We had a housekeeper that ironed our sheets, such a wonderful thing. Me, I can barely get it together to drop and pick up the clothes from the laundry. No kissing first date, I tried that, he proposed months later. Ladies must always wear stockings and cross their feet at the ankles.
[ Reply | Options ]Or how about this one... My father felt my mother should never expose her SHOULDERS in public, had to have at least short sleeved shirt on. Different, of course, when one was wearing an evening gown... And when I moved to NYC, my mother said no nice girl ever showed her TOES (i.e sandals).
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mom was a laid-back ex-hippie, so i can't really relate... i sort of wish she had done more in terms of finishing-school-esque manners... i had to self-learn a lot of this stuff.
[ Reply | Options ]My mother was a from the country and grew up on a dirt road with a hand-pump in the kitchen, southern appalachia at its best. She read all the charm books and made sure that my sister and I knew all the rules, thank goodness she did because it makes life much easier and we are able to fit into almost any situation comfortably and most people assume that we come from UMC backgrounds. I plan on doing the same with my dd to make sure she looks and acts like a lady, even if it is out of style.
[ Reply | Options ]OR: good idea. imo, it's better to learn good habits/manners early and drop them if they become irrelevant, than not learn adequate ones and struggle to fit in/make an impression. it has worked out for me OK in the end, but i will take a stance similar to yours in raising my dcs.
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Nailpolish, lots of makeup, vanity is trashy. Don't live with a man before marriage. The wealthiest people are humble, the ones who flaunt it likely arent that well off == never buy a mercedes, volvos OK :)
[ Reply | Options ]Agreed. If you are secure with yourself, you don't have to flaunt your wealth, it's crass. Not living with a man before marriage was the best thing I ever did. My DH moved in a month before the wedding and It was a lot of fun getting to know each other and setting up house, and I never had that monkey on my back wondering if he was serious or not and no second guessing on pooling our money to buy grown up stuff like nice furniture and expensive bedding.
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i'm reading all these and find it interesting that all the little customs regarding female virtue (everything from crossing legs at ankles to not initiate contact with the other gender and swallowing) are generally agreed upon. it doesn't seem to matter how far women have come, when it comes to men we still need some sort of training manual (for us and them!), e.g. "The Rules" and stick to it otherwise all the effort will come undone. and i use the term 'training' just like one would with dogs. i come from an immigrant background so i learned all this stuff very slowly, and much later in life. and it's all so true and so against all the propaganda about equality and that hippie mumbo jumbo that was thrust upon me by public school.
[ Reply | Options ]Sometimes I think the women's movement was the worst thing to happen to women. Look at little girls and boys, they act different because they are different. Being a woman is a wonderful thing and we should all be proud to be one and I think the women's movement caused a lot of women to try to act like men and be like them, and labeled all things feminine; like wearing pink, acting like a lady, charming people to get what you want, as bad.
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THEMOMSTUDY.COM Hi Moms, I am the mom of a special needs kid and trying to finish my PhD in clinical psychology. As part of my doctoral thesis I am conducting an on-line survey about being a mom. If you are a mom of a child with a learning disability between the ages of 5 and 11 log on to THEMOMSTUDY.COM--it's easy, totally confidential, takes only 20 minutes (although it allows for an hour) and you can enter to win $500 by taking it. All to help one mom who ultimately wants to help lots of moms! THANKS for taking the time to do this--your input is essential. If you could forward to any moms that qualify I would really appreciate it.
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[-]Can someone (Asian or very familiar with their culture) please give me a generic schedule of an Asian in college/graduate school (how they spend their time when not at work or class)? Trying to have a debate with friends on the difference in how personal time is spent and the correlation to grades. Do many Asian children and young adults have strict schedules of how much television they can watch, etc.? TIA
25 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]The only highly successful Asian woman I know watches more t.v. than I could ever dream of watching.
[ Reply | Options ]Asian mom here. Our secret is that we sneak back into our "thought pods" when no one is looking, where raw data is downloaded directly into our brains.
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i'm showing my age, but there was an old ad for calgon laundry detergent that had a housewife who patronized a chinese laundry wondering aloud how they could possibly get her clothes so clean. the proprietor, a hollywood stock character, tells her "ancient chinese secret!" and then his daughter calls from the back, "we need more calgon!" and the housewife says, "ancient chinese secret, huh?"
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It's not so much a schedule as a different set of ideas. Whenever I finished with my homework, my mom would tell me to "read ahead." One time I got 102 on a math test (five points extra credit) and just like a clique my mom asked me where the other three points went. Once these ideas are drilled into your head at a young age, you just put your head down and study. My mom laid off when I got to college, but by then it was too late, I was studying my butt off even without the pressure.
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speaking only from my own experience as a NA-born of chinese descent, my folks instilled a very strong expectation of excellence at a young age. Discipline to always work hard at school, practise whatever extracurricular activity chosen, work at the family business was drilled into us throughout our grade/high school years. We had some personal time but we were expected to use that time to enrich ourselves (music lessons, language arts, etc). Me, my siblings, my cousins etc all graduated with top honours/scholarships etc from high school. However, given the relative freedom and non-accountability once we left home, we ALL screwed around for the first couple of years of college. Did fine but didn't ace things like we were capable of. E...
[ Reply | Options ]Koreans are hard-core about studying and they are all about the academics. Here a typical schedule for kids as young as 8 yr olds- get up and practice piano, breakfast, school, then after school, they all go to yet another school called Hak Won where they get tutored in 2-3 subjects, then off they go to their piano lessons or whatever other lessons that are lined up for them, go home, eat, study more, go to sleep and repeat all over again. they really don't have any play time until the weekend and even then, it's very limited. and all this is for grade school and middle school kids. high school kids virtually have no downtime.
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Thank you. A perfect assessment. While there are some interesting stats in it, his methodology is crap. It's like he came up with this thesis (not a very profound one) and then researched Wikipedia to find data to fit the thesis. No depth at all. The only good chapter was the one on Korean Air, I thought. And a lot of what he does is just say something and assume the reader will accept it as gospel, e.g., describing meeting a man with a very high IQ who was not successful in life: "You could see the intelligence burning in his eyes." Please. I was unimpressed. Gladwell is terrifically overrated.
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[-]I have a work from home job that is from 9 -5. when people work from home are they really expected to work 8 straight hours? isn't this a bit much? just work work work sitting in front of the screen for 8 hours straight with a 1/2 hour break? this cant be healthy!
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]My dad worked from home for a year or so before retiring - and had to be "logged in" and working (and availible by phone) for 8 hours a day - and it seemed like torture. (Meanwhile, before that, he had been a busy surgeon and worked 12 hour days, but it's different at home, at a desk, with no "live" interaction.)
[ Reply | Options ]it really really is very tough.. in the past 8 months i have broken out terribly..gained 30 lbs and having crying spells like crazy. i don't know how much longer i can do this.
[ Reply | Options ]It was hard on my dad, too (although he was having other health issues, too - which is why he had stopped practicing). He retired b/c he was at his wits end with the job, not b/c he was entirely ready to be finished working. It's probably a good idea to get dressed for work everyday, to carve out a spot that's for work only, etc.
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As a manager, this was the problem I had with employees working from home. First they don't have commute time or costs, lunch expenses or dry cleaning. Other employees think the ones who work from home are getting away with something. Then the ones who get to work from home complain that its too hard. If you can't take working from home for 8 hours with a lunch break and one or two short coffee breaks go back to the office 5 days a week. Its not fair to your collegues.
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[-]How do you organize the house around kids and their homework? Do you let them work in their room with their laptops or have them work in a central area? I allowed our only dd to work only in our dining room but the place is a mess half the time and we're sick of getting after her to clean up each night so dh doesn't see a mess each morning but I don't feel comfortable transferring her to her room (I'll never see her again). What do you do and how do you handle it with multiple kids? The textbooks alone are gigantic by high school.
24 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]My dd wanders... works sometimes in her room and sometimes in the living room. My ds works primarily in his room. Why the insistence that she work only at the dining room table? Seems unnecessarily restrictive and controlling to me. As long as her work is done to the best of her ability and on time, who cares?
[ Reply | Options ]I think OP may be thinking of the advice for kids to only have internet access in a common room--not in a bedroom. My dd (8th grade) uses her bedroom large table desk for homework, but I require the door to be open if the internet is on. She accesses the internet through my computer, so I know when my computer is off she can't be on-line.
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OP - same feelings. I just think in high school, the kids have too much social networking time simultaneously as they're doing their work - drives many parents crazy. You think, how can they concentrate going back and forth checking Facebook, Googling, etc. But it's the way things are done these days even if focus and concentration morph differently than when we concentrated on a book and did research by hand. I honestly don't know what the best answer is, and NYC apts get smaller and smaller as a kid's workload grows. There's no place to PUT things - how do you do it with multiple kids?
[ Reply | Options ]this may sound stupid, but I cleared out the large bottom drawer of my dining room buffet and use it for school/homework stuff - just gives him somewhere to stick "stuff" out of the way so it doesn't drive me insane looking at it and wanting to clean it up, but not wanting to pick-up after him.
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I think it comes down to a matter of trust. If your child does their homework well and responsibly and has good time management then honestly, there's no problem about where they do their homework. If there are issues with any of the above, then yes, the central location with extra supervision is warranted.
[ Reply | Options ]We have a huge dining room table that functions as the central "family place" for homework and projects. There are too many distractions in kids' bedrooms these days. I find that when they do their homework at the dining room table (with supervision), they're more focused and they get the work done in half the time.
[ Reply | Options ]We do it in dining room . Both kids have a large clear box form the container store with paper, pencils, dictionary, colored pencils, crayons,etc. They pull themout fo rhomeowrok and put them away when they are done.
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I discourage working alone in their bedroom. When younger, a common room is nice because they like having you available for assistance. When older, a common room is better because you don't want them in bedroom with computer/tv, etc and closed door between you.
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[-]a close friend just told me that her mom has breast cancer. i'm at a loss for words. what can i possibly say that would be of comfort to her?
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]When it was my Mom (breast cancer) and later DH (malignant melanoma), offers of prayers helped (but I am religious). The other thing that really helped were offers of real, specific assistance ("Do you want me to watch DC so you can go to the hospital?). I hope your friend's Mom will be OK.
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[-]I came back from a trip in Europe 12 days ago and am still suffering from jet lag symptoms - waking with headaches, sleepy by nine. I know I'm middle aged, but it's never been this bad. Any suggestions?
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]really try to catch up on sleep and give it time. i came back from heavy int'l travel with vertigo a week and a half ago, and it's just now starting to subside.
[ Reply | Options ]Twelve days is a long time. Consider seeing your doctor for a prescription for Modafinil. I've heard it works wonders (but have never tried it myself).
[ Reply | Options ]Try melatonin? works for me. And take some vitamins etc, you might be run down through lack of sleep.
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[-]ok i need help - im in an rental the hardwood floors are always dirty, and i wash it every day! what do ou wash your floors with? can i use bleach?
24 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]do they look dirty or are they actually dirty? what are you using to clean them?
[ Reply | Options ]Hmm I use babyganics products (http://babyganics.com). I think you can use bleach for it. Try using diluted vinegar too.
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[-]Anyone here after tried to find their donor egg donor? We have her profile, and I've always been curious.
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We have adult pictures, and probably enough identifying information to find her if we really wanted. That being said, I hope to never, ever meet her.
[ Reply | Options ]I don't mean to challenge you, but may I ask why? I suppose what I really want to do is to share with her what a great kid her eggs helped produce. Rationally, however, I know that she doesn't care. Do you think your child will ever seek her out?
[ Reply | Options ]np: was this anonymous donor program or not? if anonymous - there is no way you or your daughter can track her down. this is crazy.
[ Reply | Options ]OR with adult photos from above. I plan on telling DC when its age appropriate. Someone mentioned this on another DE post, and I think they are right.. kids will be able to track the people they share genetics with down. I hope I am supportive of whatever my child chooses to do (search for donor or not). We used an agency to get our donor, I have many adult photos, sense of where she grew up, currently lives, career, etc. I am almost 100% positive if I wanted to find her I could (I think the technology exists to make that way too easy). But why would I. I have ZERO desire. Infertility sucked for me, I am grateful that she was around to be our benefactor, but have no desire for any type of on-going involvement.
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