[-]Visited Hoboken yesterday(good friends moved there) and I have to say I was very pleasantly surprised. DH and I are talking about it as an option (due in 5 mos) for more space but we had never considered it befroe. Any Hobokeners on?
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Moved here 7 years ago, now have 2 kids (1yo and 3yo). I love it, but it isn't the same as living in Manhattan. Not in a bad way, but anyone who tries to sell you on "oh, it's just like being in the city..." isn't being honest. Some things are better: more for your money, housing-wise, slightly slower pace), some things aren't (fewer school options, can't take a cab home from the city, if your friends are in the city, it takes a lot of planning and cajoling to get them to visit). I have times that I really miss living on the UWS, but moving here was a great choice for us and our family.
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Love it love it love it. Have 2 kids ages 1 and 4. Sending older kid to public preschool here (free and good). For elementary not sure yet but charter schools are excellent and hearing good things about the public elementary esp. Wallace. Great sense of community. New mayor and board of ed members + increasingly active parents = things are looking up for education. There's a yahoo group -- google HobokenMoms -- and you can get a lot more information there.
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I'm on the UWS but we go to Uptown Peds. It can be a zoo and you have to be comfortable with the big practice, occasional wait thing, but the doctors are great and always responsive. Dr. Larson saw us every day of our db's first week home as a preemie, including Sat. and Sun. They also take most insurance which is important to us.
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[-]On Friday night I put my nanny's envelope with cash (and even some quarters since I ran out of money!) halfway into her bag like I do every week. She has to push the envelope in to close her bag. On Sat, she called me up and says she has nothing in her bag and asks me if I paid her. She also says she doesn't remember putting it in her bag or seeing it at all, and therefore isn't sure I paid her at all. Of course I did. I looked all over my apt and it's not there. What do I do now? Not only is she out a week's pay, but I paid her and now she seems to allow for doubt that I never did.
56 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Wow - why do you do this awkward method of paying her to begin with? Can't you just give it to her?
[ Reply | Options ]I think you have to pay her again. You always give someone the benefit of the doubt once. From now on you set up a better system - maybe count the money in front of her and have her sign a receipt. FWIW I have had both underpaid and overpaid nannies/sitters more than once and always trust their report. It has never happened with the same person twice.
[ Reply | Options ]Yeah, but this is the whole wad, not just an underpayment! I was thinking of giving her the holiday bonus early in lieu of doing nothing or re-paying (since neither of those options seem right).
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Is there a reason you're not writing her a check? It just seems like this would be easier and more efficient -- not sure what your situation is, of course.
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NP: our babysitter, an immigrant, didn't want a check. I always paid her in cash and told her as I put it in her bag. She and I decided to put the cash in an envelope so that (1) she wouldn't have random bills floating around in her purse for the subway ride home and (2) so she could keep it out of her drunk husbands sight. I'm pretty sure she didn't put the money in the bank so that she could keep it away from her husband. I only learned this over time, but people have their reasons for cash and envelopes. BTW: OP you need to pay her again.
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you have to pay her again. and it should not affect her bonus. you have to have a better method of bookkeeping - do a count out and have her sign the receipt. you don't know that she lost it - since you put it halfway in her bag, it might have fallen out. a mess but you'll unfortunately have to repay and not let this affect bonus.
[ Reply | Options ]There are only two options here. Either you trust her, in which case you pay her again and chalk it up to the cost of doing business. Or you think she's lying and don't trust her, in which case pay her a week of severance and find a new nanny. There is no option which allows you to NOT pay her again AND trust her enough to continue caring for your dc.
[ Reply | Options ]You need a new system. She should check her bag before she leaves for the day. If she didn't remember closing her bag and seeing the money, why did she not check at the end of the day before she left? Then she doesn't notice until the next day. I look in my purse a lot and would notice if an envelope of money was missing. Something sounds fishy here.
[ Reply | Options ]so, blame the nanny. i cannot believe what i am reading. OP, you either need to pay her again, believing that no matter who lost the money, the nanny didn't know she had it and then lost it, or you need to fire her for lying and stealing. you have no other choice.
[ Reply | Options ]I am not blaming the nanny but something doesn't add up here. If you knew that a lot of money was in an envelope in your purse and YOU didn't remember seeing it, wouldn't you check before you went home. I don't like to carry large sums of money around but I would certainly check my bag if I didn't remember seeing it. Also it bothers me that she didn't call until the 'next day'. How did she not notice it until the next day???
[ Reply | Options ]So you are blaming the nanny! OP - you can't have it both ways. You either think nanny is lying/dishonest or you don't!
[ Reply | Options ]I am simply not sure. She's only been with us for a few months. All I know is that I did pay.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: But you don't know that she knows that you did. There was at least one time with my former nanny that we forgot it was Friday and I didn't pay her and she didn't notice. From your nanny's POV, that could easily have happened in this case as well. Unless you think she is lying to you, which as many posters have pointed out is a whole other issue.
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I have a nanny and pay in cash and put cash in envelope each week. However, I always hand her the envelope. Why would you just stick it halfway in her purse? That is weird! I agree with other posters. You either accept it was your mistake and pay her again or you fire her because you don't believe her/hence you don't trust her.
[ Reply | Options ]I alway leave my money for her out on the foyer table under a coaster, that way I know she puts it into her own purse. I would never go into someone else's purse.
[ Reply | Options ]I put nanny's weekly in an envelope, her name and date on the front of the envelope, and leave it on the kitchen counter at the same spot every time. When the envelope is gone, I know she's been paid. Putting it half-way into her bag is a TERRIBLE idea. This arrangement is both your fault, but you are richer and you should bear the burden and re-pay her. How do you know your kid didn't pull the envelope out of her bag and put it in the garbage? I guarantee that is what my toddler would have done.
[ Reply | Options ]np: we do the EXACT same thing as you. and btw, i am pretty certain that my 18 mo threw away 2 of my credit cards ...
[ Reply | Options ]NP: My DS did lose my ATM card. I left it by the computer after buying something online, we found it inside one of our speakers 2 years later!
[ Reply | Options ]haha i am sorry you had to go through that stress but that is quite the feat and very funny!
[ Reply | Options ]poster from above - recently "mis-placed" my Amex. i know that little rascal was behind it!!!
[ Reply | Options ]np: a little off-topic, but my reading glasses disappeared from my bedside table. pretty new, looked everywhere, couldn't find them. this was in winter, and in spring i was walking through the backyard with dc and noticed something shiny sticking out of the ground. our dog had apparently stolen them and buried them in the backyard! i would never, ever have guessed.
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[-]Having a little pity party for myself today...looking at old boyfriends online and seeing how successful they are wondering how different my life would have been if I would have gone a different route.
17 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]It isn't about success, it's about people. I look at people sometimes and try to see myself with them and I just can't get past the fact that it wouldn't my dh, it'd be some totally different person. And we'd have a totally different dc. And that does it for me.
[ Reply | Options ]It might have actually been worse. You have no idea if they would have had the same success in a life with you. This ISN'T to say that you would have been responsible for the lack of success, but that it's a bunch of small decisions that put them in the place they are in currently, and changing one may have totally derailed the rest.
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[-]How good is LYCEE of NY academically? Some of the moms I know there brag so much about the school. Just wondering how real this all is ..........
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So interesting ... I swear, talking to some of the moms you'd think it their dcs are so much smarter than the other kdis because they know a foreign language well. I mean, it is impressive but so is doing physics well, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]The French curriculum is MUCH stronger in Math, Science and Humanities than the American Curriculum. In general, EU curriculum (Spain, Italy, English, Belgium...) have a very strong classical education (read: they do not admit students with an American High School diploma--even the UB TTs--to European universities with out TWO years of American college/university classes!
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Can you "read backwards"?!?! Is that what they were busy teaching at Marymount?!?
[ Reply | Options ]NP: Unclear what you mean. My dh graduated from HS in Germany and was admitted directly to an Ivy for undergraduate.
[ Reply | Options ]The lycee prepares kids for the Bac. It is indeed extremely rigorous but light on critical thought, flexibility and thinking outside the box. It is the ultimate "teaching to the test". Here is a giant body of knowledge - now learn it. Pretty joyless and uninspired. The best American schools are better educationally, imho, and I was educated in Europe.
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NP--The French split their schools (track them) into University and trade... The curriculum at Lycee is from the University track in France. It is all in French (English only as a "Foreign language") and very challenging because the students have to pass the international bacculaurate exam upon graduation.
[ Reply | Options ]The British curriculum is, sadly, not terribly strong. British private schools usually go beyond it, but their average kid from a local public is NOT better off than ours. Also, British curriculum is narrow--kids take a series of tests at age 16 after which school no longer compulsory, and many don't continue on to A-levels, which require you to specialize in a few subjects in preparation for university entrance exams. Not quite fair to compare the systems--apples and oranges. And plenty of ignorant kids on both sides of the pond.
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Actually, the French require 3 years of physics (as do the Spanish and Italian national curriculums) and they require a NATIONAL test to prove it. US HS do not even offer this.
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Lycee is only 3rd tier here because UB folks don't value and exclusive European education (read: they can not get in because they are not rich enough, connected enough or French enough). BTW: my kid does not attend, but I do know and respect the Traditional european curriculum. They only teach in French (not English) so you have to be ready to support the French homework (meaning: hire a tutor).
[ Reply | Options ]If you are French or are planning for your child to attend a French speaking university (as in, go to the Sorbonne, etc...), Lycee will prepare your child very well. Outsiders rarely gain access to this school, however. So, only apply if you have contacts or can donate tons of money.
[ Reply | Options ]You or your dh would have to be French and living in the US or work for a prestigious French company, bank or the government... to get in. The school prepares kids for the baccalaureate test, which determines what options on school and such are open to these kids. It is a totally different system to the US and much harder with much more depth in the humanities than US schools. It is hardly tier 3 or 4 as it is virtually unattainable to anyone on this site.
[ Reply | Options ]The French Bac is very rigorous. Having passed it in France, I was given one year worth of credits when I came to college in the US and was able to complete my studies in 3 years. To claim that the Lycee is 3rd tier doesn't make much sense.
[ Reply | Options ]thousands of French DCs pass it every year...it's not that big a deal. Even Dwight offers it
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It makes a lot of sense. The best high schools in US prepare kids better for college than do French Lycees, which abroad are not exactly what they are in France. Also, keep in mind that student in US schools who took APs also could skip a year of college. My sister and I both did. LYCEE of NY is not the same as a French school, and that is the major difference.
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Lycee's college placement (American & European) is 3rd tier. Having said that, if you're not French it's impossible to get in (there are more French people in NYC that want Lycee than open spots)
[ Reply | Options ]Dwight offers the international bac, which is a different thing. It seems that you don't know much about the topic.
[ Reply | Options ]former teacher, both lycee de new york and non lycee tt. different education. your values will determine which is better. lycee students are a mile wide and in inch deep -- everything is taught with a thorough understanding to the whole student body, but pushing ahead/independent thought is not as nurtured. the us education pushes children to to their best in their own interests, but lets slide the items that are less interesting for individuals, so some students slip through the cracks or end up an inch wide and a mile deep.
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It seems pretty easy to get into to me, it was our back-up, but partially because it is so big.
[ Reply | Options ]LOL, you're funny. We can debate the merits of the Lycee's program, but one thing that is a fact is that it is NOT easy to get into.
[ Reply | Options ]It is if you know a board member or give them $$$. That's how many of the people I know got their kids in. It wasn't always this way. For example 7-8 yrs ago they had more space in the lower levels so easier to get into. Now it's harder and plus they're hurting for $$$ so they prefer rich people. It's more competitive for the French families because they can get gov't funding. Non-French have to be able to afford tuition which means they are relatively rich and well-to-do to start with. None of this is any indication that LYCEE is a good school btw
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Their college placement is never going to be as good as other schools because they are not preparing American students for American universities. My french friend went through 8th grade but switched to a SS school for HS. She told me that she was really behind in 9th grade but it really helped prepare her for college bc everything about the french school was different - different types of tests, different expectations, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]American w/Fr spouse. LFNY kids in primary. It's a very, very different system from the US system- more rigorous (to a fault sometimes, i think), more structured, and less 'creative.' It's also less rigorous than a typical French school. It's a great school for our DS who needs structure. She is at or above the level of most other kids her age I know in English, and on top of that she speaks fluent French. You have to be willing to accept the differences of the Fr system, have to deal with homework in a for. lang., teachers whose English isn't always great, etc. I think it's a great education, but it is clearly NOT for everybody. You have to want the bilingualism.
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[-]Looking to move to Park Slope from Manhattan. Some great posters here informed me that Middle Schools are not zoned in District 15 in Park Slope. Seems that the best public Middle School in the neighborhood is MS 51 (William Alexander). Is this true? How would a kid get into the Middle school if it's not zoned (is it easy to get in)? Would appreciate any other advice on moving to Park Slope with a small kid in terms of location, pre-schools, etc. Seems that there are very few good apartment available in the areas where the schools are good (checking primarily on StreetEasy).
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Yes, most good middle schools are in District 15. You are accepted by test score. Most good students from PS 321 and PS 107 get into 51 (it's very big) and the other good middle schools in the area (there are a few). There will be more options, I think, in a few years as more are planned (including some charter middle schools). But by middle school many kids travel out of the area, to Nest, etc. PS is an amazing place to be with kids; north slope has better trains, south slope area has a smaller community feel and fewer fancy brownstones. Near the park is ideal, of course. Many good preschools, incl. Beth Elohim (not only Jewish), Union Temple (same), Beansprouts. You pay for the good zones, of course, but keep looking. Lots of 321 inventor...
[ Reply | Options ]My one big piece of advice would be to stick to District 15 schools. This means that certain beautiful blocks in the North Slope, like Berkeley Place, may not be a good option because they are District 13. And yes, there are very few apartments that are on the market, relatively. But, you should take a serious look at the following schools: PS 321, PS 107, PS 39, PS 10. Look at their boundaries and you will be in good shape. Although, do be aware that there has been some discussion of partially rezoning PS 321 at some point because of the extra stress of the added families from the new condos on 4th ave. So, if you're buying a condo there, make sure it's still zoned for 321. (There were some rumblings about rezoning a year or two ago, ...
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, in a way District 15 middle schools are "tracked" because kids have to apply. There are at least 4 that are popular, not just 51, and new ones keep being added to that list. In addition, you can apply to schools like Mark Twain and Nest, which are for very gifted students. You are really jumping the gun about middle schools now -- believe me, things change over the years, but I guarantee you that D. 15 will continue to have decent middle schools. In fact, since they aren't zoned, they actually can pick students who don't have behavior or academic problems, which is nice.
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[-]is it possible to gain 3 pounds in one weekend, from friday to monday?
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[-]Looking for booster/car seat for my 2.5yr old. She is 37in. 33ish lbs. Not sure what to get, done a lot of research but don't want to buy something she will grow out of quickly and don't want to spend more than $100 or so. Consumer Rpts only has a couple seats rated. Some look like they have no sleeping head support either. Anyone love their seat? Any recs?
25 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I got the Graco Nautilus for my 3.5 you. It is $179 which is obvioulsy more than you are looking to spend but I had some coupons and paid less than that. DD is very comfortable in it and the 5-point harness holds up to 65 lbs so we will use it for years. Then it converts to a high back booster and then regular booster. I know Britax has a similar seat but that is closer to $300.
[ Reply | Options ]I am always surprised to hear people say they don't want to spend over a certain amount. Can you really put a price on the safety of your child? The best car seats are always the most expensive but are the best for safety.
[ Reply | Options ]the most expensive is NOT always the safest. There may be extra bells and whistle I do not need. I'm talking about the $200+ models. I gave the $100 limit bc I know any of the Consumer Rpt rated seats are $100 or less and they all have great ratings.
[ Reply | Options ]np: At 2.5yo, 37", 33 lbs she is WAY too young and small for a booster. A quality FF car seat that will last a long time, is not going to be found for $100. I think the Graco Nautilus is the best option, at under $200 it should be the last seat you need. For a plain booster, min best practice is 4yo, 40", 40 lbs and the ability to sit well in it.
[ Reply | Options ]I know, I'm not going to be putting her in just the booster. I just feel like she is getting uncomfortable in her current seat (Britax Roundabout) so was looking for something that would last until she is done with any type of seat need and would be willing to pay for that. I'm now leaning towards the Nautilus with all of the recs for it. Thanks! Just didn't want to buy something expensive and then a year from now have to get another damn seat :)
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, once you move out of the convertible, the Graco Nautilus or the Britax Frontier are your best bets, with the Nautilus being much more reasonable. They keep dc in 5PH easily until 6yo if not longer and then convert to a belt positioning booster until booster is no longer needed!
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I did a lot of research and the best car seat for a forward facing child is the Graco Nautilus. It rates as high or higher than competing models and will let your child sit in a 5 pt harness for as long as you will want her to (there are a handful that higher weight limits but not necessarily higher height limits which is more likely to be the limiting factor for your child who sound to be average). And when she outgrows the 5 pt harness the seat converts to a safe booster with head support that will work for her until she is 10 yrs old. Great seat. My son loves it. Bonus - compartments for "toys" and a drink holder.
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Really, a five point harness is safer for as long as possible (beyond 4 yo and 40 lbs). But I do not think anyone here is recommending a booster???
[ Reply | Options ]np: but i think that OP is wondering about it and by asking for seats under $100, i think she must be looking at boosters.
[ Reply | Options ]oh. ITA. no boosters for 2.5 yr old even if weight requirements on product suggest it is okay.
[ Reply | Options ]There are boosters out there that are 5 point...here are the 3 Con. Rpt covers: Eddie Bauer High Back Booster (Cosco), Safety 1st Vantage Point SE High Back Booster, Cosco Summit High Back Booster, Evenflo Chase DLX see here all under $100. I know she must be in 5 point until 40lbs.
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When she's old enough (I think 2.5 is still a little young?) I recommend the Sunshine Kids Monterrey booster seat...we love ours. Very well made.
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[-]Help -- We're TTC and I am 4 days past the day I normally get my period. I was very hopeful going into the pregnancy test, but it was negative. Now, I'm wondering: a) if I'm pregnant even if the test is negative; b) if I'm not pregnant, and I've missed my period, that I have to wait until I get it before I am ovulating again. I've also had pregnancy symptoms (like food cravings, increased hunger, and, an extra sensitivity to smells). TIA!
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[-]Does the Valco Tri Mode Twin take two infant carseats and a toddler seat? (for newborn twins and toddler)?
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]i have the valco single and it takes either the toddler seat or the carseat but not both.
[ Reply | Options ]I dont think it would, have never tried though. Off topic, I would not recomend this stroller. It is so big and heavy I never use it, much easier to use a babycarrier and a single stroller with a toddler board or a lightweight twin stroller and a carrier. This is just my experience but I always use my bug with the toddlerboard and one baby in the babyhawk.
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[-]New to US and to NYC. Our daughter will apply to K next year. We took ERB at suggestion of neighbor. She did 98-99-98. Is there somewhere online to look to interpret the score in more detail? Thank you.
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]sheesh. Great score what more do you want? Wasn't there a written report? an erb is for getting into private schools, I wouldn't give it any more meaning than that.
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well, you know, I do find it a little ridiculous that one would get such a high score, which still also comes with a 1+ page report, and want more information. What's to interpret? ERB is for private school placement, and I do think it's silly to want all this other meaning out of it. Signed, mom of high scoring dc.
[ Reply | Options ]op: I should have been clearer. I was hoping for an understanding of how the scoring acutally works. I see the matrix/bar chart/etc. but I'm interested in the psychometrics (sp?) of the actual test.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: why? I mean your kid got a nearly perfect score. Why do you need to parse it?
[ Reply | Options ]The report and accompanying materials should explain it. Bottom line is your child did very well. If you have further questions, I would ask your PSD
[ Reply | Options ]op: What's a PSD? We just moved here from out of the country. W/ regard to parsing it, that's not what I'm asking but I'll just do some research. I'm not interested in understanding my child's score, particularly - I'm interested in understanding how the test itself is developed/scored/etc. It's just out of personal interest. I used to work in school data in my country and would like to understand it here. Apparently, however, I can call the test center office and they can answer the question. Thank you though.
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I am SO SORRY so many women here suck. Welcome to America. I promise not all moms will treat you this poorly. Congratulations on the score!! If you want to drill down, ERB will, for a fee, sit down with you and give you more detail about the psychometrics. You can also take it to a private psychologist, who can do the same thing, but ERB has notes that go beyond the "narrative" that you got, and perhaps they'll share some of that with you. Good luck! In any case, it's an excellent score.
[ Reply | Options ]it is an anonymous board. People are entitled to their feelings. It's frustration with erb obsession which is so present on this board. Most of these responses were posted prior to OP's explaining that she worked in the field. So, the question is not basic at all without that extra info imo
[ Reply | Options ]of course people are entitled to their feelings. it may be anonymous, but it's not like there aren't real people on the receiving end of all this viciousness. i didn't know she worked in the field and didn't care. who cares if it's a basic question or an advanced question, OP is a person with a question and she deserves to have it answered (or not) without getting shit from mean people.
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[-]If you're going to have a separate 24 hour baby nurse for a newborn, when would you give your nanny--for an existing DC--her raise for the additional child? When the nurse is gone? When you go to work?
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Assuming the regular nanny won't have longer hours and her responsibilities stay the same, her raise should come after the baby nurse has finished her term and you go back to work (assuming that you'll care for baby or older DC when you're at home so that nanny's responsibilities don't increase).
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[-]We're spending thanksgiving in Albany and would like to continue for 2 more days with ds(4 yo). Any suggestions for fun activities in upstate NY, Vermont or even Canada?
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Haha we are also going to Thanksgiving for Albany. Small world. You could drive to Montreal--it's about 4 hours--and then you can go to the Biodome, zoo, etc. In Vermont you could go skiing.
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My family lives all over upstate. What type of activities are you looking for? How far from Albany/close to Albany are you looking to go/stay?
[ Reply | Options ]OP - we're looking for activities for the 27th and 29th, two days... We don't mind going anywhere, we're pretty much open - we have an active 4 yo, so would welcoem anything, thank you!
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As poster below suggested, the Adirondacks are gorgeous for outdoor winter activities. Honestly, I don't think you need to go as far north as Lake Placid, though it would offer you more of a "town base." There are plenty of spots around Lake George, which is maybe only 1.5 hrs north of Albany. On your way up, you could stop off at Saratoga Springs, which is really cute, has shops, places to eat, and a children's museum which isn't fabulous, but probably entertaining for a 4 yr old. If you want to head into VT, you could go via MASS MoCA (of you like art), which is a great space and HUGE so actually pretty friendly for kids.
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[-]$750 per week, on the books (social security, workers comp etc paid), 4 weeks of paid vacation a reasonable salary package for a full time (9 to 6) nanny?
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OP: only 1 child. Nanny's been with us one year. She's all right, not great. We are starting to wonder whether we are paying too much.
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It's definitely on the high end for a 9-6. My nanny (only 1 dd) works 8:00-6 for $600 and she is amazing, helps with the housework even though we don't ask and offers to cook a side dish or make a salad for us while DD sleeps. She's college educated, worked at a daycare previously and wonderful with our daughter. Don't let anyone lead you into believing that the only way to get great help is to pay through the nose.
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[-]Ok, so to all of you who think I should pay my nanny AGAIN for last week's money which has been lost, what do you think I should say when I give it to her? Does anyone think it's ok to give her the money in lieu of all/party of her holiday bonus? (again bearing in mind that I already paid her and I'm certain of that) TIA.
40 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I think you should say - I don't know what happened to the money, but since I trust you and you say you didn't get it, here it is again. In the future, I am going to hand off the money to you directly so this issue doesn't happen again. It is absolutely NOT okay to count this against her bonus.
[ Reply | Options ]I don't think you pay it in lieu of part or all of her bonus. Then you are "punishing" her and implying she's lying. She may be, but if you really think so, that means you don't trust her and should fire her. What I think you should say is this "Here's your money. We both need to be more careful so this doesn't happen again. Therefore, when I give it to you each week I'm going to ask that you sign a receipt"
[ Reply | Options ]^^^PS The other scenario is that someone took it out of her purse, maybe she got pickpocketed on the subway or something. In that scenario, it might be her "fault" because she didn't have her purse closed, but she may not be "lying" and might also explain why she didn't discover til the next day. Just a thought
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NR- If you are ABSOLUTELY certain you paid her- are you ABSOLUTELY certain she is not lying about this? Also, a family member could have taken it out of her purse. Is she accusing YOU of not paying her or is she just saying she lost it?
[ Reply | Options ]NP: If my nanny's paycheck were stolen, I would still repay her (and not take it out of her bonus). I can afford the double payment, she can't afford to miss a week's pay.
[ Reply | Options ]You continue to say that you don't think you should pay her so then don't, just be prepared for her to find a new family to work for.
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Look, do you like/value/want to keep her or not? Think big picture. If you think she's deceiving you, then that's a different calculation.
[ Reply | Options ]Tell her your options: I can just pay you if you are certain that I did not put the envelope in your purse, or I can split the cost with you and take 1/2 week salary out of your bonus if your not sure. Give her the option of taking the high road, but still getting paid. (if you are paying her in cash like this she probably isnt making much and wont beable to pay bills/eat without that money.
[ Reply | Options ]In your other post, I said that you shouldn't pay her again, but after re-reading your post I changed my mind. Your system of paying her by putting it in her wallet is horrible. YOu need to hand it to her every week, and then it's not your responsibility. Your system was faulty, so you unfortunately have to pay the price. Next time, she doesn't get the benefit of the doubt, but then you should also start handing it to her. How much are we talking about, anyway???
[ Reply | Options ]I see another side to the story. Yes it should be docked from her pay b/c it was wrong of her to not check her bag before she left, especially since she had not remembered seeing it at all. She needs to learn to be a little more responsible when it comes to large amounts of money, especially if you really can't afford to pay her for 2 weeks. You can just say "I don't know what happened to the money I gave you but since I can not afford to pay you for 2 weeks I am giving you part of your Christmas bonus now. From now on I want to hand you the money as well."
[ Reply | Options ]Big Picture: you are paying nanny in cash, and not paying taxes. I dont have any sympathy for you. Do the right thing.
[ Reply | Options ]Just pay her again, but say that the old system probably wasn't the best, maybe someone picked her pocket/bag and took the money out - so from now on, you're going to hand the money to her directly and from that point on, it's her responsibility to pull the zipper on her bag shut or otherwise secure it. Say that you totally trust her and know that she's completely responsible - and that the new system should be full-proof. Then if it happens again, replace her.
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