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  • [-]Anyone else go to Chelsea Day open house last night? What a waste of time for those few spots. Why don't host an open house after the lottery results. Ridiculous.

    52 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    10.23.09, 06:52 AM [ Flag ]
    • What happened?

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      10.23.09, 06:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • same thing happened last year. i was pissed they dragged us all the way there to show off their pretty school and then told us only a few would even make it through the lottery.

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      10.23.09, 07:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • what were the questions? since it is a lottery anyway, were the parents still trying to position themselves well?

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      10.23.09, 08:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • The parents were definitely doing the grovel. I overheard one mom say to Jean, "I am so inspired by you. I want to learn from you myself, not just my kids."

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        10.23.09, 09:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • is it a real lottery? if so, how come people on UB say you have to be connected to get in to CDS?

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      10.23.09, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • jean loves the chance to prove what a sought-after school she runs and never turns down the opportuity o ham it up in front of a huge audience.

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      10.23.09, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • is that what it is? does seem like a huge waste of time - not just for the parents, but also for the administrators etc.

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        10.23.09, 08:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Not sure I agree she's a ham. I just think she's really proud of the school she's built.

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        10.23.09, 09:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I can not stand the attitude at CDS (not that there aren't shades everywhere...) don"t worry whatever happens you will land somewhere and be happy. Most are. GL

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      10.23.09, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • please elaborate. what is the attitude?

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        10.23.09, 09:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I can not speak to what it is like as a parent there however when we were waitlisted there they flat out told me that we should call everyday and the people who called the most were the ones that the waitlist "moved for." Absurd and ridiculous and I decided to end it there. What really burned me was how Jean specifically said how one should stay in their neighborhood for school and then we got waitlisted. After they moved to 30's where everyone complains about! They seemed more two-faced to me then any uptown or downtown school to us. This is so not sour grapes on my part because we did not really love the school (or Jean's choice of ongoings for exmissions) and probably would not have chosen it even if we had been accepted but the way thin...

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          10.23.09, 01:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Worst location of any top downtown preschool. I hate going to CDS to drop off DC. Gross, smelly.

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      10.23.09, 10:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • anyone else bothered by the lack of diversity? every couple at the open house looked exactly the same......

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      10.23.09, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • it's always been that way. in fact, if you're diverse you're pretty much assured of getting through the "lottery."

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        10.23.09, 10:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Curious, what counts for racial diversity in NYC? African American? Indian? Asian? Mixed race (if so, which mixes)?

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          10.23.09, 10:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • if that is the case how come - and i am generalizing of course - i dont see ANY Black or Latino kids at these preschools. and only one or two Asians or Indians.

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          10.23.09, 11:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • i was talking about cds in particular, and making the point if there is even one diversity family they will make it throught the lottery. i know of a diversity family who was told by jean that they were in before the lottery.

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            10.23.09, 11:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • It is utterly absurd for them to stuff 300 people in a room for 3 hours of lecturing for them to only review 3% of the applications. It is a real lack of respect for the parents applying to the school. I, for one, didn't need to spend $60 on a babysitter so I could go to an open house and then not even get through the lottery. CDS should be ashamed - and should reschedule the open house to AFTER the lottery.

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      10.23.09, 10:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Wait, I don't get it, you didn't know there was a lottery until you attended the open house?

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        10.23.09, 10:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I knew there was a lottery, it was absurd that they held the open house PRIOR To the lottery. Very disrespectful on the part of CDS.

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          10.23.09, 10:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Why did you go, then? You could have just waited until after the lottery and visited the school when you went to interview (if you got to that stage). Not trying to push your buttons. Just don't understand why you resented the open house, per se. It was entirely optional.

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            10.23.09, 10:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • It may be optional, but they don't make it feel optional. Jean is very selfish in that way.

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              10.23.09, 10:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • Really? I didn't feel that way. Did anyone else feel like it was anything other than optional?

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                10.23.09, 11:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • np: it didn't feel optional to me either and I was pissed to pay my sitter $80 for the night after dinner and overtime pay. What a waste of my night. I wasn't surprised 1/2 the parents walked out after an hour

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                  10.23.09, 11:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • You guys are ridiculous. It didn't "feel" optional? Are we all adults here or not? Stand your man and decide for yourself what is more important. Don't let the school dictate you when and if to spend $80 on a sitter.

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                    10.23.09, 11:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • it just doesnt make ANY sense to have the open house before the lottery. like it is so crazy i hope some parent asks that question at the next open house!!!

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            10.23.09, 11:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • ITA. I was kind of surprised how many parents marched out..you?

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              10.23.09, 11:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • How long did it last? I was one of the people who left after an hour.

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              10.23.09, 11:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Then don't go! Geez, people.

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              10.23.09, 11:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • It's good info if you get into the lottery. And it is necessary info if you are considering the school (after the lottery). It is a waste of f-ing time if you are negged from the lottery. CDS is known for treating its parents terribly, it is not surprising to see them treat APPLICANTS horribly as well.

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                10.23.09, 11:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • I don't get all of the Jean bashing. I'm a CDS parent and very happy with the school, the teachers and Jean. The location might not be idea for some of you but the facilities and classrooms are outstanding. And no - we aren't a diverse family but we did somehow make it through the lottery (as did many other families who weren't diverse).

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                  10.23.09, 05:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • This is the first time I have ever posted here (after visiting for 4 years) but do feel compelled to reply to this poster. I have 2 children at CDS and the parents there are thrilled with the school, Jean, the teachers and the beautiful facilities. Although 32nd street isn't the most desirable of all locations, it is clean and safe and a nice walk to Madison Sq Park which is beautiful. CDS is my only preschool experience (aside from applying to many of the downtown school) but I can tell you that parents are thrilled to be part of the CDS community - full stop.

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                  10.25.09, 05:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • My second dc is about to start at CDS in the fall and we couldn't be happier with the school, teachers, community etc. The location is an easy 5 minute bus commute from the Village. The beautiful facilities and its reputation were enough for us to want our kids there.

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                  11.18.09, 09:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Since you don't have to apply until AFTER the open house, they probably think people might want to check out the school and see if they actually want to apply. Sounds like you don't, so you could have skipped writing all those essays.

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        10.26.09, 04:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Every school we're applying to (Brooklyn and Manhattan) has the open house / tour before the lottery. It's a huge waste of time.

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      10.26.09, 12:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Can we talk about Reggio Emilia?

    23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    10.31.09, 06:57 AM [ Flag ]
    • no

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      10.31.09, 07:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • never heard of him.

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      10.31.09, 08:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Sure what do you want to talk about? Educational approach -- very good, in my opinion.

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      10.31.09, 08:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • How does play-based become a foundation for 1st grade? How does the process of recording the children in pictures, etc influence the children?

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        10.31.09, 08:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Also, what is their approach to learning to work as a group vs. individual learning? Anyone have a child at a Reggio school?

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          10.31.09, 08:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • It's definitely more focussed on group projects, though the kids certainly spend time drawing, writing (in the last year), building, etc. on their own. -np

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            10.31.09, 10:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • One of the most important components of the approach is to take cues from dcs - follow up on THEIR interests rather than imposing own. This sort of deep exploration of any topic is v good prep for K, which requires continued focus. And I think there is a balance btwn group and individual play. DC in Reggio-influenced preschool and extremely happy.

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      10.31.09, 10:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I could never articulate it, you shoudl go to a professional source, but it is an amazing approach. The things that are done, being driven by the kids' own imaginations, at true Reggio schools, are very interesting - and beyond what happens in traditional pre-schools. But it's more about the whole child's creativity and confidence, -- don't worry about the first grade thing, first grade comes when first grade comes

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      10.31.09, 11:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • It is not montessori...it it however a wonderful approach. Not a lot of RE schools out there. DD went to one, but we live on the west coast. We're more progressive out here!

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      10.31.09, 04:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • From what I have read and their website a child is allowed to read about, be read to, draw pictures of, create models of and write essays on a particular subject. Instead of the child just reading out of a text, the child can do projects on any of the subjects the teacher or they come up with. It reinforces what they learn in a variety of ways; reading, hearing, writting, modleing, talking about, etc.

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      10.31.09, 04:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • It is the best kept secret in the Western Hemisphere. Their approach is hot in parts of the world like Australia and Germany (and Italy, of course). In ten years new parents will be clamoring to get their kids enrolled in RE schools. These days it's more of an eyebrow raiser.

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      10.31.09, 05:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • It's not an eyebrow raiser at all anymore. Every top preschool in Manhattan incorporates at least some Reggio. 92Y, Brick, All Souls, First Pres, and Beginnings are entirely Reggio (so is MAP, fwiw). Episcopal and, I've heard, PAC also incorporate a lot of Reggio ideas. It is the norm now (except among the stodgy UES "traditional" schools with the uniforms and workbooks).

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        11.01.09, 01:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Chelsea Day School is also Reggio.

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          11.01.09, 02:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • CDS is NOT Reggio. They, like many NYC schools "incorporate" RE into their philosophy, but they are a typical developmental preschool (we are there).

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            11.01.09, 03:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • So are we. The school is Reggio-based. Which I think is a good think. Why are you getting all upset?

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              11.02.09, 07:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • NP: We're in our third happy year at CDS. 2007 auction raised $$$ to send teachers to Italy for a Reggio Emilia conference. Auction 2008 raised $$$ for Reggio play materials. Teachers talk about RE all the time, the "Thousand Voices of Children"? Come on, it's an RE school (like Beginnings) and proud of it. THey just don't advertise it on their website is all.

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              11.18.09, 09:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]What are your thoughts on the whole mammogram controversy? Do you think the new recommendations are politically motivated?

    22 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.18.09, 07:28 AM [ Flag ]
    • don't know the motivation, but I am disgusted. I personally know four women in their 40s who have had double mastectomies in the past year. My mom was originally dx at 49. None of these women would have had good outcomes if they waited until 50 for a mamo.

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      11.18.09, 07:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Yes. Just like Obama claiming we are having a national emergency with swine flu so vaccine manufacturers could push through a vaccine without the proper trials. There are a lot of back room hand shakes and deals being made so insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies roll over during this process of reform.

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      11.18.09, 07:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • How do you keep the tinfoil attached to the inside of your hat?

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        11.18.09, 07:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • np: BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! love it.

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          11.18.09, 08:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • While tired one-liners are a typical accent color on UB, your comment is devoid of either wit or puctuation. Do you simply want to see your post appear or is there a counter opinion to that poster's?Time to wake up Baby...

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          11.18.09, 08:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • not the or, but that was a great one-liner and totally appropriate, given that the post she was responding to was a paranoid, ill-informed hijack and irrelevant to the mammogram conversation.

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            11.18.09, 08:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • So you expect a "discourse" with a poster who posts "Just like Obama claiming we are having a national emergency with swine flu so vaccine manufacturers could push through a vaccine without the proper trials." This seems like the perfect place for tired one-liners. (And what punctuation was missing?)

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            11.18.09, 08:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Too bad we don't have a Republican president. Those kind, thoughtful Republicans are so much more apt to put the welfare of people over corporate profits.

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        11.18.09, 08:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • It's funny you should mention that. I was reminded of the campaign days, when Mrs McCain and Sarah Palin seemed to post here daily!

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          11.18.09, 08:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • indeed! And those kind, caring insurance companies--the idea of the evil government interfering with their tender mercies!...

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          11.18.09, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I'm as suspicious of government and big business as you are, but your facts aren't straight. Swine flu is a pandemic, and there is NO EVIDENCE that there have not been proper trials. This has ZERO to do with the process of reform, which is absolutely tied to back room deals.

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        11.18.09, 09:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • As I understand it, if you did self-exam and found a lump, or if you had family history etc., you could still get one. IMO this is a plus--mine was a waste of time and money, and I could have told you that before I went!

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      11.18.09, 08:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • OMG, you ladies understand they are not BANNING mammograms for women under 50, right? They are just recommending that women not be SCREENED with mammograms until 50. If there is any indication that a mammogram is needed before then, it will be performed. But studies have shown that mammograms done on women with no risk factors under 40 do more harm than good (false positives, intervention when not needed, etc.). This is to improve health, and I personally am delighted--our early and often screening has been wasting money that would better go to other more useful procedures AND has been resulting in painful and disfiguring unneeded procedures for many women. Many operations are done on pre-cancerous lesions right now, with outcomes actually ...

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      11.18.09, 09:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Lawyer moms - Am I screwed if I take off a year to take care of newborn DC? I'm currently a soft IP attorney at biglaw.

    15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.18.09, 07:20 AM [ Flag ]
    • I know what IP means, but what does soft IP mean?

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      11.18.09, 07:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • If you are gunning for partner at your firm, then probably. If the thought is that you will move on some day and you do not need to worry about $, then 1 year off may not be a big deal esp. if you keep in touch by joining a bar committee or similar (also good for later job hunting networking). On the other hand if your firm/department is slow right now, they may welcome the opportunity to not pay you for a year and then be able to get you back.

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      11.18.09, 07:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Not interested in partnership but would like to stay in the game. Money is not an issue though helpful to have extra. I like my job. Things are slow which cuts both ways. Not sure if they would welcome not paying me for a year or whether it makes more vulnerable to being let go, i.e. not so bad without her after all though we like her this is saving us money type of thought.

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        11.18.09, 07:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I would take off 6 months and then go PT if you can , otherwise you may indeed be screwed.

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      11.18.09, 07:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Take as much maternity leave as you can (including unpaid if they offer it) and then try to do flex-time. As a recruiter, I can tell you that it's hard to get back in the game especially in this market when you've been out/unemployed (unless you have amazing credentials and I mean amazing). And if you ultimately want to work part/flex-time, very few places will hire you as a PT lawyer, they may offer it to you once you are there for awhile but it's a hard job to find. Your best bet is to get a schedule like that at your current firm.

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      11.18.09, 07:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • It's bad out there. I think you should take as much maternity leave as your firm will allow, and then when it's getting close to the end of that time, talk to your firm about taking additional unpaid leave so that you're still technically employed, but just not getting paid. If you quit and then want to get back in, you're done.

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      11.18.09, 07:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Biglaw partner here. The answer depends a lot on the firm, your level of seniority and how you are currently perceived by your practice group. My firm's 6-month leave policy helped me stay in the game. Without more info, my best advice is that unless you can come back full-time after a year and hit the ground running with real support, you are toast.

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      11.18.09, 07:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Do you think the approach should be all or nothing. In other words, is going part-time just as bad as taking a year off? I'm a 7th year in a very top heavy group, politically supported by one camp (who does have pull) and not so much by the others (some of whom are politically strong) who are more stringent with numbers. I'm very well liked (work and personality), but the practice group is doing just awful and they are under pressure from the other groups.

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        11.18.09, 08:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I think it totally depends on the way the senior decision-makers in your firm view maternity leave, part time/flex time and promotion and retention of women. If you have strong supporters in the senior ranks, you might be able to pull it off. If not, you may never recover. If the group is weak within the firm, my guess is that it would an off-ramp.

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          11.18.09, 08:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]What age do they recommend weaning dc off of paci? Dc is 20mo, today is day 3 of cold turkey weaning and going strong!

    16 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.16.09, 06:33 PM [ Flag ]
    • before 6 months, when they are more adaptable. hang tough!

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      11.16.09, 06:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Why do you ask if you already have the answer? You wean whenever you feel it is the right time.

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      11.16.09, 06:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • because I'm not sure if this is too early and we're being too hard on dc. If enough people tell me that we rushed it, I will consider giving it back.

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        11.16.09, 06:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Don't do that, that would be crazy if you've already gone 4 days. It took my dd almost two weeks to wean at 18 months but the first few days were the toughest.

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          11.18.09, 07:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • dc gave it up at 2. we put them in a box and gave them to the little babies.

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      11.16.09, 06:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • My observation is that developmentally, babies get "long term memory" right around 20 months - in a nutshell - before 16 months, you can take away anything and within a few days most babies will have forgotten all about it. After 24 months, they will take a long, long time to forget special things. I found this is also true for having a new sibling - onlies forget they were once the king/queen within days if the new baby comes before 16-18 months and have a lot fewer issues ( at least in the short term).

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      11.17.09, 08:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • off topic: but I find that 18mo siblings generally have more issues because of the close age range. They are basically raised like twins.

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        11.17.09, 08:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • they are not basically raised like twins! The first has 18 months to himself and is starting to become a little eprson with independnce when the baby arrives. I don't knwo why people say this- 18 mo's is a huge difference in the early years!

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          11.18.09, 06:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • My ds was 18 months. We kept a paci around, just in case he got really sick after weaning or if we had to take an emergency flight, and I found the paci the other day. Showed it to ds and he didn't even remember what it was. We didn't go cold turkey. Started without it at naps, then gradually removed it at nights.

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      11.17.09, 08:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • This is exactly what we did at 18 months and worked perfectly. We did give it back to her when she was sick with an ear infection for a few days but told her it was only while she was sick and she understood. After that she saw it and said we can give it to the new baby when we have one.

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        11.18.09, 07:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • 1 year

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      11.17.09, 08:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

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