[-]At what age did your DB/toddler drop the second nap? My 17-month-old still really needs two naps a day or she'll need a really early bedtime, which results in a ridiculously early wake-up time. Like 5:30 am. Is it OK to keep her on two naps?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Thank you for your response! I wasn't sure if there was a reason to drop the second nap, and why some sleep experts seem to push it.
[ Reply | Options ]OR: some experts push to drop a nap? to me, that seems so counterintuitive... how could more rest be anything but positive for a baby/toddler (unless it interfered with night-time sleep). I think the old motto of "let sleeping dogs lie" is even MORE true of kids! good luck - be thankful you have a good sleeper.
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my 18 month old toys with the idea of one nap now and then. every time i think she will drop it she starts taking that morning nap again.
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[-]Babar books: Please help. I have a vivid childhood memory of a Babar book in which a bunch of the elephants go skiing in the alps, and they take this funicular/train up a steep hill. Can't find it now, and googling does no good. Does anyone else remember/know what book this is?
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]i think we have every babar book, but i cant risk waking the babies in their room..
[ Reply | Options ]check the list of books: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babar_the_Elephant
[ Reply | Options ]after rereading some older french Babar books given to our dc as gifts, surprised that the content is incredibly racist and not pc. really inappropriate for the world today. i guess it really reflects the old colonial French way of thinking
[ Reply | Options ]In The Travels of Babar, Babar and Celeste go skiing in the Alps with the Old Lady before returning to their country to find it decimated by the rhinos. Not much is said about the skiing trip, but it does have a full double page illustration depicting it. Maybe that's what you remember? The Travels of Babar is one of the original stories, right after the first Story of Babar. It's about their honeymoon.
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[-]Los Angeles moms - where do you consider a great neighborhood in LA?
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Depends on what type of scene you're into (if you want to be by the beach or in the mountains, etc). Lot's of people love Manhattan Beach (good schools, great beaches, cute downtown). If you want beach, but more low key, Hermosa Beach or El Segundo. If you're looking for affordability, look at Playa Vista.
[ Reply | Options ]It really depends on what you are looking for. LA does not have a lot of good public schools, however, there are a few. Wonderland School is very good. It is in the Laural Canyon/Laural Hills area. The houses in this area are more affordable than in other areas (that is relative, of course but with RE crashing there are "bargins") and there are a lot of young families who are very involved in the school. It is small and very well maintained. There are a lot of mid-century homes in the area and there is probably more diversity (both ethnic,financial and professional) in that area than in any other area of LA. As I write, I realize that I would highly recommend this area if you are moving from NY. I'm from NY and just remember, LA is n...
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[-]a yr and 1/2 ago there was a little boy in my neighborhood that had leukemia & needed bone marrow to survive. our whole town went and got tested. This week i received a call that I am a potential match for a 50 yr old woman. the procedure requires general anesthesia & recovery time. I have a 4 yo, 3yo and 4 mo and very little help with them. I am freaking out because I feel like I should do this & potentially save a life but from what I understand it is very painful & I have 3 kids to take care of. Thoughts?
32 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]sounds like you have a lot on your plate, but maybe seek more info. many "bone marrow" transplants don't involve actual bone marrow anymore, just "stem cells" from your blood after medication. It's still a medical process, but maybe not as involved as you think.
[ Reply | Options ]A friend of mine is a doctor at Memorial. At some point we discussed and she told me that the procedure is much easier from what it used to be. In any case don't ask your doctor but 2-3 specialists. If they tell you the procedure is very easy do it. If they tell you the procedure is difficult don't do it.
[ Reply | Options ]Have all of the posters giving the advice to go ahead and give marrow to a stranger taken the steps to enter themselves into the bone marrow data base?
[ Reply | Options ]I was a donor years ago and I was up and going the next day. You are able to help save someone's life - what a lesson of selflessness for your children.
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I am listed on the donor registry. I have not been called but would do it in a heartbeat. These days, there is very little risk to the donor, and I personally could not handle the guilt of not doing it. I don't care if it's a stranger - it's a few days of nuisance for me to give someone the rest of their life. If your whole town up and got registered, can you get one or two of them to help with your kids?
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Hijack - just checked the donor registry requirements (was going to register) and it says they won't take you as a donor if you've been diagnosed with a herniated or bulging disc within the last 2 years - and I have, but back feels fine now. Does anyone know if this is hard and fast? Isn't there an option where they just take your blood?
[ Reply | Options ]If after investigating and it really isn't invasive, if you can easily arrange childcare help for the time it takes, plus maybe an extra day for unforeseen side effects, I think you'd ultimately feel better doing it. It might haunt you knowing that you might have helped. She's most likely a mother too.
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My husbands boss is currently getting treatment for leukemia. He has two girls. They are doing many bone marrow drives right now. I signed up a few years ago for friend. I would do this for anyone, regardless of whether I knew them. I would hope others would do the same for me. I'm sort of surprised by people's blase attitude here to be honest.
[ Reply | Options ]It is very painful and it takes a while to recover. A number of people I work with have donated to strangers. If it is something that feels important to you to do, and somebody can help with the kids while you recover, then I would do it. But if you won't have enough support while going through it, then I'm not sure I would do it. It is a wonderful gift to give to somebody!
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[-]Became friends with another mom at the program dc attends. We've started getting together outside of class. I'm sort of feeling awkward about having them over to my place, though, as we're in quite a different economic bracket. In principle, I don't care...but I guess, emotionally, I feel embarrassed at how little we have in comparison to them. She won't care, right?
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]BTDT - We live in a small apt, non-doorman bldg, DC has friends living on Park and 5th. Young DCs will say what they think without filtering and that's OK. They come over here, DCs have fun, and their mothers have never said a negative thing, my photos hanging on our walls where they have real, gorgeous paintings have brought lovely compliments, the bag of my knitting sitting in a corner brings questions about how I learned and what I'm making. If they are nice people, they will not embarrass you, and you shouldn't feel ashamed of how you live. If they aren't nice people, you don't want them for friends anyway.
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It is hard sometimes. The first time I visited one DCs home, I almost swallowed my tongue - our entire apartment could fit in their living room. You just have to focus on what's good in your life, as hard as that can be. For me, it's that we may have a small home, but it's filled with love, laughter and really good food.
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I don't understand why the $ factor seems to be an issue. If you get along with them, who cares who has what. I don't think it's really an issue.
[ Reply | Options ]It's an emotional response, not necessarily rational. It's a little bit of jealousy, mixed in with some embarrassment. You want to believe that it doesn't matter, but you know that it does, at least sort of. People judge others based on all sorts of information, good and bad, rightly or wrongly, including their address and you are lying to yourself if you think otherwise. So what you do is be open about your situation and do your best to make other people comfortable around you (that's what good manners are all about).
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We are in a similiar situation. While we earn 250K, have graduate degrees, travel and own, we are always the "poor" ones in the group. But I knew that sending my dc to a private would mean just that. We usually plan playdates at museums, parks or around an activity. We have managed to avoid having people over to our small walk-up, but I do talk about our "small" apartment freely.
[ Reply | Options ]When we moved to the city from FL, we had an embarrassingly small apartment here. No one cared. Everyone in NY was cool with our small apartment. But in FL, there was MUCH more snobbery about living situation. At leas that's what I found. The more worldly people are, the less snobby. At least the NY snobs have real money, which isn't the case for the FL snobs!
[ Reply | Options ]We live in an apartment that I find very comfortable (1400 sq ft, 2 BR/2BA) in a postwar doorman bldg on the far east UES. Still, dc plays at many homes that are much bigger and fancier and in far more luxury building in higher end neighborhoods. And those kids will come to our apartment also. I'm sure that at some point I will come accross the parent who thinks that coming east of 1st is akin to the South Bronx circa 1985, but that hasn't happened yet. Unfortunately, I think too many people are pretending to be far more affluent than they are and apartment size/type can kind of "out" them. Get over it.
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FWIW, appears Larry Weiss will likley be new head of school at Brooklyn Friends, if that helps your decision.
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Similar reputations: will challenge kids who are bright and highly motivated, but also a haven for the bright kids who aren't academic stars. Geography matters: do you want your kid in Park Slope or Downton/Brooklyn Heights? Also, BF is Quaker, for those who consider that important.
[ Reply | Options ]my experience with BFS is that they seem to want to over-diagnose learning problems, and there is too much misbehavior in the lower school (and these issues might be related, kids getting away with nonsense because people think they have some kind of problem?), that was our experience anyway
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They are completely different schools/locations. We sent 3 dcs to BCS two through 12th grade the third a bit less. BCS is the more aggressive academically and guidance is superior. Where do you live? Have you seen Bklyn Friends location? It really all depends on your family, dcs' personality/strengths etc and location. You can't go too far wrong with either. My dcs went to Ivy league colleges so I don't get the comment about "stars" lol
[ Reply | Options ]check out the BFS web site, they get FEW Ivy placements, most often NONE admitted to HYP or any of the biggest name colleges
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Lived in Brooklyn for 23 years! Did my research! Results are that my opinion is you can't go wrong here if you make your decision based on the factors that I mentioned! OK?
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If you base your decision on research and the qualitative factors that are unique to your dcs ita these are both good schools just intended for slightly different students.
[ Reply | Options ]different in what way? Are you trying to say BC is for academically stronger kids? We went wrong by NOT checking college placement, sent ds to BFS when we would have been better at BCS. Had to xfer out later, classes were not challenging enough at BFS for my ds. OTOH for lower grades we were more attracted to BFS for social reasons.
[ Reply | Options ]some people think BFS is good for kids with LDs, and I heard about a dc who recently left BCS lower grades as xfer to BFS.
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This is a rude question (so don't answer if you don't care to), but WHICH ivy? If it was HYP then that would be more common outcome at BCS as opposed to BFS, where it seems QUITE rare, if one has seen their college placement for the past few years. I think they have had more success with the less prominent ivy colleges (getting a handful of kids in over a 5 yr period). Still, I think college placement at BFS is weak relative to other privates in NYC, and schools like BCS and Packer are more on par with Manhattan privates in this regard, with significantly stronger college placement stats. These considerations are silly IMO when the kids are 5, but they do grow in importance as the kids reach middle school and high school. In the same way, i...
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[-]18 month old with fever. Gave tylenol at 6pm and it worked. She's sleeping now but warm (101.3). Should I wake to give tylenol or monitor and wait until she wakes?
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[-]Do you have a 401(k) or similar retirement plan for your nanny? If so, is there a service or website you can recommend? We use a payroll website that's excellent (takes care of direct deposit, taxes, etc.), so I'm wondering if there's something similar for retirement plans. TIA!
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | Options ]She would have to be part of some group - the most common for NYC nannies to get retirement and health benefits is the freelancers union - dues are not a lot. On and individual level, she could do IRA, probably a Roth IRA - it's just another account that something gets deposited intol.
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Real mom here: Our wonderful, creative nanny, who works for us two days a week, is looking for a second part-time job with a caring family. Jannine has more than 10 years experience with children ranging from infants to older kids and has been with us for more than 1.5 years, from the time our son was about seven months old. When he was a baby, she would make homemade, organic baby food for him and as he's gotten older, she regularly takes him on outings (concerts and museums, as well as playgrounds) and does arts & crafts activities. She has a lot of energy and is someone who is genuinely engaged with children and their developmental phases. She speaks fluent English and Spanish. Ideally, she is looking for a W & F position, but other day ...
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[-]Will applying for financial aid to competitive preschools greatly reduce DC's chances to get in? We could probably swing it for one year but would benefit from assistance.
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Consider that tuition will go up 7%/yr. In a few years, tuition will go from $35k now to $50k. What's your HHI? Assuming you have 1 dc, no family help with money, and both parents working (which means you need childcare), if your HHI is below $250k, apply for FA. Unless you have housing that's all paid for.
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[-]Looking for classes to take with a 12 mo now that weather is getting colder. On the UES - would love your suggestions! Thanks
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[-]My 3.5 year old boy does 100 piece puzzles. I'm not bragging but wondering if this is advanced? and NO he's not on the spectrum..he's a very typical toddler...but I was curious whether this was the norm.
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Mine did that at 3. Of course I think he is a genius but I am sure everyone else thinks he is just average. But it does show he has an attention span!
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I think it's good but not outrageous - however, if he LIKES doing them, and often, it's an interesting sign just about his focus and personality. That's the kind of boy who beats the odds in the classroom, when lots of boys can't focus like the girls can in the early years. Should make life easier for him.
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so hard to watch best friend begin to go through what will undoubtedly be a nasty, nasty divorce. i divorced 3 years agin, and althogh very painful we did not have a nasty divorce, and are still on reasonably good terms. friends husband is a bright guy, but a total asshole. he will make life a living hell when it comes to the kids.
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[-]Are 4 year olds supposed to be so difficult, with so much temper or is it only db? picky eater, picky about his clothes, tantrums, smiles only when he gets what he wants, etc...
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[-]School psychologist keeps pushing for us to do an evaluation, without giving me a clear reason why. Child is happy, likes to go to school, makes friends, brings art home. I think they just pinned me, he's only 3.5, what’s their problem? I'm furious.
96 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Take your kid to ped for referral if you're pushed further; do NOT use anyone recommended by your dc's school.
[ Reply | Options ]OP - he doesn't need one. I can take him to another school next year, it's preschool not Harvard. I am not evaluating a perfectly normal, happy, friendly kid.
[ Reply | Options ]Wow. How can you say that? I'm going through the K process with my 4 yo and have NO IDEA if she is gifted. I think she's super-smart, but recognize I'm her mom and my opinion is 100% biased. If her school told me to have her tested for weird hair color, I would do it. Why are you so close-minded?
[ Reply | Options ]OP - it's not about him being smart. he had language delays (exposed to 3 languages from birth, English not one of them) and now he can speak English (speech therapy). Except for that - he is normal, happy, on point with every milestone. He likes to run sometimes, but he's a kid. Not saying he's gifted, but he knows colors, shapes, numbers, ABC and does 48 pieces puzzles. He has friends, we do playdates, he's warm and affectionate, and yes, sometimes runs, shouts, but all in normal range. He eats well, sleeps well, talks a lot, all in all - normal. They could not give me a good reason, except for him being immature sometimes. Seriously, he's a toddler!
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OP - I think ot started with the language delay and they're just eager to find more issues, honestly, not sure why. He's happy in that school, coems home happy, has friends, can't imagine what they want.
[ Reply | Options ]I had language-delayed kids and went through this nightmare. I even almost flew to Vanderbilt to see the Camaratas. I switched schools to one my mellow off-the-books speech therapist recommended and they are caught up at 4. No intervention necessary and you should have HEARD the concerns I was harassed with. Good luck.
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NP - looks like they climbed a high tree. Sometimes they try and be smart when they think they have a problematic one, trigger happy, too bored. Ignore them, don't do it, if your guts tells you not too. you know your child best. A psych that watches him for an hours can write all types of mumbo jumbo that is pure bullshit.
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np: I agree with you but something must have spurred this on. Just tell us. Sheesh. They didn't call to say DC is what you claim and in same breadth say he needs eval. Something is missing.
[ Reply | Options ]np..I'm going to guess, bc of the "perfectly normall behavior" that her guy won't sit in circle-time, is a little too touchy, or agressive, and has some listening issues in school. Moms of boys tend to think this is normal behaviour, for boys.
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you must have a boy. And for the most part it's fine, except when its not..and the school psych gets involved. one rowdy toddler disrupts the whole circle..
[ Reply | Options ]NP: One rowdy toddler being disruptive in class is now a pathological event that requires a psych evaluation?
[ Reply | Options ]i think that it is normal 3 yo boy behavior, and i also think that not all preschools are set up to deal with normal 3 yo boy behavior. i made sure to find one that was, but i have had friends who had miserable experiences at other schools because they were set up in a way in which normal boy behavior could really screw up the day's plan for everybody.
[ Reply | Options ]YES. And it turns out that they told three of us mothers (out of an age group of 7 students) that our boys were absolutely unmanageable.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: ITA - had exact same experience. For some reason, preschool teachers are not interested in implementing basic discipline. DC was at great preschool, which also pushed for evaluation when he was 3,5. Example that they gave me (in preschool teacher talk): "DC needs help, he "can't calm his body down", sometimes he will start jumping up and down in classroom and his classmates will start doing the same". It finally dawned on me that it was an authority issue, not DC's "body"'s problem. That evening, we had a discussion with DC, telling him that there would be consequences at home if we heard that he didn't follow teachers'instructions: problem SOLVED. We did bring him to OT, just because my wife insisted, and OT was just flabbergasted, had...
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you must not have a boy. also sounds like you haven't read the literature on boy development and education. schools need to work with both boys and girls and speak to their strengths/normal development.
[ Reply | Options ]Listen, I agree with you. And I really agree with the posts above. The reality is, a lot of little boys should not be in circle-time at 3 years old. It doesn't work for them. They aren't ready. So while I am not condoning a psych intervention, I don't htink it's fair that a classroom or preschoolers is disrupted, not once, but everyday, by a rowdy three year old whose parents never trained him to sit for 15 minutes of circle-time. He could wait a year for preschool. All of the parents in that classroom are paying money.
[ Reply | Options ]but it doesn't stop there. kids are being evaluated, medicated, sent to spec ed schools, etc from preschool on. it is an education crisis in this country. personally, I don't think kids in the preschool are being harmed by the kid who gets up during circle time. at age 3, they could care less. even later. we all had a class clown and we survived...parents' money still well spent. the push for perfectly calm kids in the classroom is unrealistic and does more harm than good.
[ Reply | Options ]You are writing this as a parent who clearly had a child who acted this way. As a parent of a well-behaved 3 yo, I can tell you that as soon as your 3yo gets up at circle-time nad goes to play with the toy truck, my 3yo wants to go too. They do care. And my kids teacher does say it's an issue. It is VERY hard to get 15 kids to sit.
[ Reply | Options ]Np: You know what, then the school should ask the parents to look elsewhere, not try to label the kid so they can get a state-funded minder to sit by him in circle time.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: Isn't that the whole point of PREschool - to teach DC the skills they will need when they start real school?
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np: why are you "furious". Just see what they have to say (I agree: find your own tester). If he is really as normal as you say, that's the report you will get. If there is some issue of which you are not aware, you can be thankful that it was raised. Early interventions do lead to much more successful resolution of issues and parents, no matter how attentive, are not around to see and diagnose it all.
[ Reply | Options ]The statistics are by no means clear on that. The reason it may look like early intervention results in better outcomes is that it catches children who may not have any true pathology and they outgrow these issues, thus skewing the rates.
[ Reply | Options ]possibly true, but it is not EI is not harmful. At worst, it is just not necessarily needed. At best, it could really make a positive difference in a child's life
[ Reply | Options ]Depends on what they do. Some evidence suggests that ABA (and some other 'interventions') on a child who is not on the spectrum and simply has a speech delay will further inhibit speech development. Just because they are not pills does not mean that they are necessarily harmless.
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OP, I totally agree with you. Do not go get your tiny boy labeled, potentially for life, just because a counselor decided to tag him as the latest opportunity for the school to get more state funding. I believe in the power of suggestion. Don't let your little one think that he is anything but normal. Personally, I would get him out of the school right now if I did not think there was any validity to their claim. You know him best. If you are being totally honest that he is normal and happy, don't bend.
[ Reply | Options ]Agree--he sounds very normal (like a BOY!), and don't th ink you should let the school push you around.
[ Reply | Options ]who is pushing anyone around? The school made a suggestion based on what they, in fact, see. And to say an evaluation is labelling for life is nuts. If there is nothing wrong, no reputable doctor will find something (there are like a half dozen very top developmental peds in NYC)
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I would say I definitely think you should not evaluate him, since you deserve the regret you may have when you find out something could have been done to save him serious problems later. However, as he is a child, I will only say I hope for his sake you are not always so blind. Whether or not he will have issues requiring intervention, he will have to live with you and your refusal to see that your child may need help sometimes or not be perfect.
[ Reply | Options ]I am hoping desperately that your child is able to survive the pathologizing of his childhood.
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actually, sn mom who did not believe anything was wrong with her beautiful, happy child. Not that anything in this post screams that, but finding out years later when some simple therapy might have had a huge effect is HARD. A mom's gut is always right, right?
[ Reply | Options ]np: the stuff about schools wanting evals or for their kids to have problems to get money is completely insane. How warped do you have to be against the mere possibility that a child may have an issue? If you feel this way, shell out the big bucks and get a private eval. No one will be the wiser, excellent doctors around and NO interest in diagnosing something that is not there.
[ Reply | Options ]i understand that must be incredibly hard. but your situation is not necessarily OP's, and that was a very strongly worded post! i think you could have shared your experience without berating her.
[ Reply | Options ]I agree that OR was harsh, but also agree that the pervading attitude on UB that there cannot be something wrong with "my" child--which, to reach an extreme, extends to the overwhelming shock and disappointment parents convey when there child scores 80s ERB, which is in fact still better than over 80% of the entire country--is a source of great dismay (I would say disgust, but then would be flamed for being as harsh as OR). Parents seem really to have too much of a stake in their kids being perfect, and in fact no kids are.
[ Reply | Options ]i would argue that the desire for their kids to be perfect pushes some kids into therapy who don't need it. don't get me wrong, anything that actually benefits children is fine by me. but there are many parents in nyc who seek evaluations for the things you are talking about--not acing some stupid test, or not being at the top of the class. while parents should be responsive towards problems their kids may be having, i also think it's important not to treat every stumble as something that needs attention from a specialist.
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hmmm, do you think they have asked all the kids in the class to have an eval? Or have thought, we have a quote of x evals to ask for per class, so let's fulfill it by asking this guy who doesn't really seem to need it? Or, this guy cannot sit still for circle time, let's get him an evaluation since we have no background in development and don't know that a 3 year old might get up from circle time, thus we use this sole issue as a basis on which to request an eval? Let's pin this one! Mother seems like the type that it would be fun to give her a dig!
[ Reply | Options ]Find out what they have to say. I'm a 3s teacher and trained in Special Ed. By the way, I think it's nutty to think a school would try to have a child evaluated just to get "extra government paid help". A SEIT doesn't really help anyone in the class but the child receiving services. The SEIT would be reporting back anyway about the child's needs and progress. This isn't a conspiracy, folks.
[ Reply | Options ]I am a mother of a child with a SEIT in a private preschool. You must not have any experience with SEiTs because your description is completely wrong. The SEIT is there to help one child, but she must intergrate herself into the classroom and she actually served as a teacher to every student in the class and the students are never aware that she is not a teacher for all the students. I have to say, I originallly worried that they pushed for it to get extra free help too, now I don't care because she has helped dc so much and became my eyes and ears in the classroom, it is a great resource.
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Look, OP, i get how upset you are. we were blindsided when preschool told us we should have DC evaluated for sensory issues. we never saw any of the behavior they were describing at home. But DC can be different at school and you may not be seeing what they are concerned about. We had DC evaluated private by someone we trusted and not recommended by the school and there were issues. Also, once we talked with the OT we realized that we did see the behaviors at home but just not as pronounced as at school where DC was having trouble focusing and concentrating. stuff we thought was normal 3 or 4 y/o silliness and rambunctiousness really had an underlying cause other than being just a 3 or 4 y/o. it can NOT hurt to have DC privately evaluated. ...
[ Reply | Options ]but how do you know really? the behaviors were so minor as not to be noticable by you at home. getting more rambunctious at school doesn't mean he has a medical condition. have seen so many kids with sensory balls and little seats in preschool. doesn't seem to help much from my experience and makes them seem abnormal.
[ Reply | Options ]private evaluations are very expensive, and often lead to much anxiety and upset, not to mention the problem of over diagnosis and labeling, mistreatemnt of normal behavior, etc. parents often start to see their dcs as abnormal or different. I think you discount the harm this mill of evaluations "just in case" is creating.
[ Reply | Options ]He is only 3 now, but sensory issues can effect future success in school. If he does have some small issues, he could be helped now for everyone's benefit. Getting angry about this isn't helpful. They see many children every day and your data point is one. You need a third party view point that is thoughtful.
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[-]Without informing us, our nsd is sending pictures our kids draw to the school psychologist who then "diagnoses" our children (and parents)through a drawing, without the benefit of either child or parental interview. The nsd feeds the psychologist family information, takes notes on her comments and they go into the child's record. This bothers me for many reasons. One, this is done without our consent. Two, drawing interpretation is hotly debated in the psychology field and I don't like our children being made guinea pigs. Three, what mother hasn't received a shocking drawing from dc which after questioning, is clearly innocent artistic attempt? Are all the nurseries doing this?
37 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Any psychologist who does an evaluation of a child without the parent's consent should be sued for malpractice.
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what they do is look for learning and social issues, not diagnose through drawing. they do inform the parents they are doing this.
[ Reply | Options ]Not at ecns. One mother found out b/c records were subpoenaed for a custody battle.
[ Reply | Options ]parents are informed that the psychologist sees the children and makes evaluations. the child's "record" is meaningless. if the psychologist sees something of concern, the parents are informed. if she doesn't, parents hear nothing.
[ Reply | Options ]How could "prostitute" (see below) appear on a 4yo record and not mean anything?!?! If the record is meaningless, why is it recorded? The psychologist wasn't concerned after mentioning "prostitute" ? This parent claims she was never informed. Was its sole purpose to harass this mother?
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bc if your child has issues you'd rather put your head in the sand and not know about them? then you have people complain that if there was a problem "you'd think the teachers would ahve noticed". schools try to be proactive, bc it's better to discover these things in preschool and attend to them, then to have them come out in elementary school and be trying to correct for them.
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The psych. from ecns predicted one 4yo would become a prostitute b/c she drew circles for boobs on her older sisters and a little loop at her crotch. Turned out it was sore from riding her new bike and her sisters do indeed have breasts.
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wow that's pretty bizarre. you can learn a lot looking at the pictures kids draw, but it's really open to interpretation and only valuable in conjunction with a thorough look at the child and family. any psych worth anything would know that you can't diagnose a kid based on a picture.
[ Reply | Options ]The nsd at ECNS targeted a mother in a custody battle. She sided with the father who has $$$ and has abused this woman in countless ways over two years. She showed me the notes and her dd drawing. Wendy Levy fed the psychologist lies that could only have come from the father, who was launching similar attacks against the mother with other professionals involved. This mother was not told anything by Wendy or the psychologist, she got the notes in subpoenaed documents and had to press Wendy to send the drawing. Wendy Levy nsd, Michele Asher Dunne psychologist and the father (nameless only to protect the child) are all culpable. Repulsive behavior by these three against a good mother fighting for joint custody against a multi-millionaire who...
[ Reply | Options ]you keep posting this story on UB and clearly you are on the mom's side, but the fact is that this is ONE extraordinary situation and I imagine as with all things there are 2 sides to the story. if parents are going through such an ugly divorce, i am not suprised that the school psych is involved!
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if i show my dh this thread, he will def. tell me all bets are off for sending dc to private nursery. ewww. we don't want out child exposed to materialistic, lying, woman abusing people.
[ Reply | Options ]From what I read, ecns nsd can act this way because she has no oversight via a board of directors. She apparently owns the school and runs it as a not for profit (I looked it up).Sounds like a loose canon to me. Avoid this school. Mine and many others are professionally run and offer great pre-K education.
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I have no horse in this race, but you should be more careful about what you are posting here. You could be sued for libel. More importantly, as awful as this whole situation sounds (if true), publishing/disseminating it further than it has already been does more harm than good for everyone involved.
[ Reply | Options ]My point is to expose this nsd for unethical and illegal behavior. She should not be doing what she is doing - at any school. We have children at other schools, the head of one of them is familiar with the situation and disgusted by Wendy Levy's voluntary involvement in the legalities between these two and her behavior towards this mother.
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Wendy Levy is one of the few in the private school system who will get involved in divorces and willingly participate. I think she likes it, maybe it makes her feel powerful? This is not her first time.
[ Reply | Options ]lol. get your kid into Epiphany if you want a divorce. donate to Wendy so she will help you win. sick actually but my dc is there and i know this mother casually from pu do. she seems solid. the father i only met once at the class cocktail party. he got drunk. his girlfriend was confused with the mother by appearance. very odd. wendy does pick on the mother. i noticed her following the mother around first day of school. heard later wendy wrote her an email blasting her for talking to people she didn't want her to talk to.
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Are you sure that this is actually happening? Have you approached both people about it? A professional psychologist will not do any type of "analysis" without speaking with the parents first. In a classroom setting they will observe all of the children in order to try and help the teachers and staff manage the classes better, though. If what you say is true, that would be really shocking (and illegal).
[ Reply | Options ]it is not illegal to have a professional evaluate children if parents are notified, even if the notification is not as obvious as most people would like. she might be concerned that one child is not integrating properly into the class or that another child has a problem controlling emotions or whatever. parents sometimes don't see these things or don't recognize their significance. would you want to know?
[ Reply | Options ]having a psychologist observe a classroom is fine, I would want to know if my dc had a problem. the above report is not ok because the mother was not notified of any problems. any mention of "prostitute" on a 4yo file would be a red flag and both parents, regardless of their legalities, should be contacted to help the child.
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[-]DS is turning one this month. When do I need to start worrying about preschools? We're not fancy people, don't want to be involved in crazy school competition, just looking for a decent pre-k.
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Thanks! I thoroughly intend to! It's a goal for us to not get all caught up in the craziness...I'm an educator and I really don't think a child needs TT preschool in order to do well in life. It definitely becomes more about the parents and social status, which dh and I couldn't care less about! Just want a good experience for dc and want to be ready when we need to. Not going to think about it any more for now!
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