[-]American parents are freaking bunch of wimps fearing of their dcs and letting their dcs disrespect them.
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While I would agree, some UBers are hyper-sensitive about it. I once posted that I was annoyed that an ice cream truck parked in front of my kids' school every afternoon, and people jumped all over me about how I shouldn't be annoyed and that I should teach my kids who is boss. Huh? If my kids were the bosses, then we would buy the ice cream and I wouldn't be annoyed in the first place. People here are looking to attack on this subject.
[ Reply | Options ]you're missing the point. the real issue is HOW to deal with these issues, like disrespect, not whether. just because some people deal with it differently than you deal with it doesn't make their way better or worse, just different. careful before you fall off that high horse. it can be a long, bruising way down.
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[-]Am I over-working my DD or giving her too much free time? DD is in 4th grade at a NYC private, casually plays piano 1hr/week (almost no practice), plays a group sport which requires only 1 hr of her time/week (no practice), meets english tutor 2 hrs/week (mainly homework help). DD says I am over working her, but compared to her friends, she is not doing much at all. DD really enjoys life and is a happy child, but in terms of academics/extra-curricular activities, she has made no progress and is just average. Do you think I should push her a bit and add more to her schedule? or just let her be? Would appreciate your advice. TIA
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I wouldn't add more to her schedule but I set the bar higher for her. Ask her what she enjoys if playing the Piano just isn't her thing anymore and try to find something that she is willing to work hard to achieve. IMO hard work is an important ingrediant to acomplishment.
[ Reply | Options ]let her be - by playing pian she is learning to appreciate music, by playing a group sport she is learning teamwork & endeavor, by having a tutor she is progressing academically. Let her be - many kids (one of mine included) need more down time. I might cut back o nthe english tutor unless entirely necessary.
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[-]WWYD? DC called home tonight from first year at boarding school to report theft in his room. Cellphone, ipod, good earphones, textbooks taken from him and others. They reported it, the dorm parents have searched the room, brought in local police, and interviewed other students. My dc feels unsafe and violated. Need advice.
24 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]That's awful. I would feel unsafe and violated too; poor guy. Call administration and tell them your child feels this way and you need to know what action is being taken to put better security in place so your son can be focused and have a clear head for the learning that he needs to do. So sorry this happend; I feel for your dc. Knowing me, I would be there this weekend just to give him some support and comfort and to get updates in person.
[ Reply | Options ]You need to go this weekend to support your child. Does he have a single room or a roommate? You might also want to contact the roommates parents (or other parents at the school) to see if this has happened before. You need to ask: Who was in his room? Who has a key to his room? Who can get access to his room (key or no key)? Imagine if he were there! I'd be scared too!
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From what I remember from boarding school, people are pretty lazy about locking their rooms. And major thefts this early in the year are usually a sign of a kid in the dorm with a problem.
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We had one of those when I was in boarding school. Things went missing all year and towards the end of the year, everything was found buried deep in the back of one of the fat girls closets. She stole stuff that she wouldn't have been able to fit into in a million years! Anyway, there really was no disciplinary action because she obviously had a problem. She did leave for the rest of the year, but was back the next year and the problem never resurfaced.
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PSA- Check your Infant and Children's Tylenol!! There has been a recall of 21 types of meds. The lot # of the recalled products are listed in this article along w/ the full details. This is REAL. Here's the link http://money.cnn.com/2009/09/24/news/companies/tylenol_recall/index.htm?postversion=2009092415
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[-]I have a 15 yr old son that will only be friends with girls, he has never had any close guy friends. He is still very immature. A year ago he said he made a best friend and invited him over. We thought things were looking up, we welcomed into our home. Later we found out that a girl at school told my son he was gay and got him together with this boy and the boy didn't even go to his school. He has low self esteem and would listen or do anything to make friends since he has always had a problem making friends. We found out that they had had sex in our home and then the boy started to peruse my younger son, I believe this boy is a predator. We have since moved his schools and tried to get him away from these kids. I want my son to get to do n...
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]devil's advocate: how do you know he was pursuing your younger son? it sounds to me like your 15 yr old is gay and is not telling you the whole truth since you can't seem to handle it.
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[-]my grandaughter was raped by her dad and now she is getting so out of control.we have tried everything we can with our fixed income.we would like to put her in a boot camp,what can we do?
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]First of all I am a survivor of sexual abuse spanning 11 years by 3 men (all members of my family). Boot camp is the worst idea for her, she is traumatized. She needs to see a therapist and get put on some medication. She probably has PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and some anger/depression issues. She is probably confused and to hurt to deal with the amount of pain she must be in. You need to get her into see someone ASAP and be there to support and love her. It might not seem like it but when that happens to you, part of you just dies and it hurts so bad. This acting out is b/c she doesn't know how to deal with the pain she's in. She is mad at the world and everyone for not protecting her and feels betrayed. She needs help and lots...
[ Reply | Options ]^^and lots of love, not boot camp. She might even require some medication...an antidepressant and a mood stabilizer. She needs to talk to someone who can help her sort all this out. She is unable to deal and is leashing out at everyone. Do whatever you can to get her the help she needs. She needs you more than you will ever know.
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If you send her to a boot camp, she will equate that with you blaming her for her rape. it will just further damage her. You need to keep her close, let her know that she is LOVED, is SAFE, and it is NOT HER FAULT. You need to continue to find her therapy and support, if one kind is not working then try another. But putting someone that fragile into a Boot Camp is going to be like you are writing her off in her mind. I would not be surprised if that would push her over the edge.
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[-]my grandaughter was raped by her dad and ever since she is so out of control i am afraid.we've tried everything we could with our limited income.we would like to place her in a boot camp or something similar
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[-]Does anyone know what Riverdale's sibling policy is? Thanks.
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I have no knowledge of Riverdale's policy. However if they are treating half-siblings living in the same household differently than full siblings I think that's awful. The kids are being raised as a family and should be treated like one just like if one was adopted. For half siblings living in different households I would understand if the policy was different.
[ Reply | Options ]np: my guess is that schools often look at it differently when there is a big time gap. Like dh's kids from dw#1 are in HS and now is remarried and applying for dcs with dw#2. i know our preschool director (where siblings are guaranteed admission) joked that there was one dad who was on his 3rd "set" of kids in the school (3 different moms) with 20 years between 1st and last and they might have to consider amending the policy in those situations.
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Riverdale (and all the Hill schools) no longer have Early Notification for siblings and legacies. Beyond that, not sure what level of priority is given to siblings. A lot of sibs apply for preK.
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[-]i want to buy my friend's son some books. (he is laid up w/ broken leg) he lives in france, 15 years old, 1/2 american 1/2 french. she suggested catcher in the rye, lord of the rings. i want to add one more book...Need your suggestions. it sounds to me that he probably has not read too much typical American fare, but might have read harry potter. TIA!!!
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[-]How much sleep does your teen dc get on school nights? We are lucky if our almost-15 yo dd gets even 8 hours on school nights.
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[-]Can somebody recommend a theater class or theater school for my 7th grader who loves acting and is serious about it? We're looking for an excellent quality once-a-week class either afterschool or weekend, Manhattan preferably.
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[-]My DS who is 10 yrs old has attended day camp over this summer. The day camp is attended by kids of all ages from 3 to 13 yrs old. Just yesterday, my DS came up to me and asked in a serious manner whether we would "talk". He told me that during camp there was a boy (a couple years older than my DS) who would yell at him whenever my DS accidentally stood in his way during free swim sessions. My DS was not uncomfortable with the yelling as he could stand up for himself, but was upset that the boy yelled "get out of my way yellow skin!!!" (we are Asian by the way). This happened a couple times and DS told me that he dealt with it himself and stood up for himself by telling the kid to shut up. DS had forgotten about it for the past two ...
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Camp mom here (am an assistant director at a day camp): bring it up, even now, after the fact (particularly if DS is planning to return next summer). At the very least, it's useful for the camp to know - they can use the story as an example during staff orientation (things that happen between DC, parent interaction, etc.).
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[-]my 12 yr DB still wets the bed at least 2-3 a week. I am going nuts!!! Help!
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actually, most members of my DH's family went through this. Biological in origin. They just suffered through until each outgrew it -- for some I think it took until mid-teens. Consult a specialist as this was more than a decade ago so I'm sure there have been advancements in philosophy and treatment.
[ Reply | Options ]Sorry if this is an ignorant response -- I had always heard late bed wetters were due to emotional problems, family problems, abuse etc. Your post shows you're an attentive parent, so I'm not saying otherwise, but are there any underlying emotional reasons?
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OP, this is an ignorant response. Emotional problems can crop up because a kid is a bedwetter if parents/siblings make a big deal out of it. It's caused by a lot of things, including a body that's growing and a bladder that hasn't caught up yet. It is tough to go through for the parents, I feel for ya.
[ Reply | Options ]OP - we dont make a big deal about it and sometimes I wonder if that is part of it too. am I an enabler?
[ Reply | Options ]When my son reached age 8 and was still wetting the bed I always had him help me take the sheets off, wash them and put them back on the bed. I did this in a very matter of fact manner - not like a punishment. Maybe he stopped on his own a few months later or the fact that he had to think about the problem a little bit more helped him stop. He also did not drink more than a few ounces after 8 p.m.
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Do defend posters response, late bed wetting is a classic sign of physical abuse in the home. Poster was not accusing OP of abuse, but to deny bedwetting can be a sign of problems is in itself ignorant.
[ Reply | Options ]Sexual Signs of Child Abuse 1. Inappropriate interest or knowledge of sexual acts 2. Nightmares and bed wetting http://www.childhelp.org/signs-of-child-abuse
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[-]So my 8 1/2 years old has been on the toilet for the last hr with a bad stomach. He says he feels fine. I have this major problem and panic whenever he gets sick. I'm so afraid of getting the same thing. Anyone else feel this way?
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Your 8 1/2 yo has been on the toilet for an hour and your primary concern is that you will get sick. Mother of the year. How about a little sympathy for the kid.
[ Reply | Options ]I have been with him the whole time. Keep asking how he feels, feeling his forehead, etc... I am very concerned. I just have this panic state when he gets sick, or doesn't feel well.
[ Reply | Options ]My exact thoughts! IME Children often downplay sickness to avoid being jailed inside. Watch him, don't just listen.
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