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refresh »[-]My barely 15 year old daughter is spending time w/ an older crowd (15 - 18) and wants to be driven around by them. I feel she's growing up too fast and not mature enough to handle the situation I fear she's getting in to. Any advice?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]without knowing your dd or her friends, I would say I agree with you. There is a big difference between a barely 15 yo and a 17yo or 18yo.
[ Reply | Options ]^^^finally, set consequences and disobeying and stick to them. The main thing really is that she knows what you expect of her, cuz when she's making those critical choices, you're not going to be there. Sorry for the chopped up response, but UB kept cutting me off
[ Reply | Options ]Thanks all for the advice. It's reassuring to know that I'm not being overly protective. 15 is young, and I don't yet feel confidant in my daughter's decision making skills and judgement. I fear she cares more about being accepted by "the cool kids" and it's a constant struggle to keep her on track.
[ Reply | Options ]my 15yo gave me a button that read Raising a teen is like trying to nail jello to a tree. another parent with 2 grown kids told me the single most important thing you can do is make sure she knows she is loved. after that you just need to keep the lines of communication open, make sure she knows she can come to you if she's in trouble, and hope for the best. good luck
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[-]my 15yo dd came out as a lesbian to me, i've always been open-minded, but i have to say i was completely shocked by this and i even wonder if this is just a phase bc she is so young. i feel awful even thinking of it as a phase and while i didn't tell her any of this and i support her, i still don't know what the next step is.
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Is your kid sexually active or is this an emotional revelation she's chosen to share with you? It would be concerning to me if my 15 y/o was sexually active-with anyone of any gender. At 15 I was convinced I'd grow old with a hot, older woman and we'd adopt at least one child. I'd only groped and kissed girls but had real pining crushes on others. The place and time were long ago(I'm 45)and there was a much less open atmosphere among youth culture,
[ Reply | Options ]in terms of being gay-esp if you were a girl. I look around today and am amazed at the overall acceptance of gay youth culture and sense of community. 15 is so experimental, exploratory and a time of huge realization that we'll be able to interpret and identify ourselves through our choices. Your kid may be a lesbian or not but she sounds like she has chosen to bring some important self-realization to you. How cool for you Mom. Don't rush to help her define it; hang in there and keep being someone safe and loving with whom she can share,
[ Reply | Options ]i am under the impression that she is sexually active, after she talked to dh and i, i took her out for a bit to have some girl talk and she told me she is now in a relationship with a longtime girlfriend, and she has said she had a couple others - she told me that she and her girlfriend have kissed and done things but she didnt want to get into great detail about it
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It's very trendy to be gay amongst teens. very. Go with the flow. If you fight it, it will only be trouble. Talk to her about safe lesbian sex. Get her a book or something.
[ Reply | Options ]i'm not fighting it, if she is a lesbian then i am compeltely on board, it was jsut a shocker when she sat us down - i honestly thought she was going to tell me she was pregnant
[ Reply | Options ]Well, i completely agree that it may seem 'trendy' but it may be a lot of things-including that she's a lesbian. I mostly agree that the most important aspect of this is, your 15 yr old is having sex. You need to deal with that as being of primary importance; Safe sex is a nearly oxymoronic term when discussing the level of emotional immaturity at her age. You're her parent and I assume you try to set the parameters of what is acceptable behavior; are you ok w/her being sexually active? Were you unaware that she has had a 'long-term girlfriend'? Do you know her friends or spend time with them? It's pretty tricky stuff, as teens-particularly girls- can more easily project a false maturity. Get yourself some conferral w/ a therapist...
[ Reply | Options ]you'll need some objective help to maintain connection with your position as her mother and not her 'cool with it Buddy'. Good luck to you both. The second toddlerhood- adolescence-is so rife with change; she still needs you to set some limits and help her navigate her impending independence.
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[-]is it unreasonable to buy our 17yo ds a car for his birthday?
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I don't think so -- but I do think that it depends on the family. I'd d it -- but only if I trusted DS and made a point to make sure that he was "grounded" and not entitled.
[ Reply | Options ]My dh has already decided he will get our 14 yo ds a red convertible when he's 16. Not what I
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[-]anyone with teens confronting the problem of keeping tabs on what they're doing on their computer? what is your strategy?
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[-]just learned that my teenage daughter has herpes and i am MORTIFIED. i dont know what to do.
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[-]ttc - i have three older children from a previous marriage, and dh has two young children from a previous marriage - we are having a difficult time and i am wondering when it is right to explore other options
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I think you two have populated the earth quite enough and maybe it's mother nature's way of telling you to stop reproducing. Why don't you adopt a child that needs a home?
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but the point about populating the earth is very valid. think of food, resources, diapers, etc. np btw
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since it annoys the hell outta me. They have been talking about overpopulation since the 60's. It's a free country. She can have as many kids as she wants and you will just have to live with it.
[ Reply | Options ]why oh why do people feel it is their right to have as many chi8ldren as possible and THEN feel it is a wise idea to use scientific methods to have even more when Mother nature says "stop" ? This isn't a woman who has never had a child and wants to do whatever possible to have one. This is a family of five ! Enough already
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she says "exploring other options". Maybe she meant adoption and I stand humbled. excuse me.
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op-This is ridiculous. I came here to discuss fertility treatments because we have been struggling going through adoption. We came close once, but in the end the mother kept the child. We can't keep going through the pain of coming so close and losing the child. We are actively pursuing fertility and adoption; however, I am not as familiar with fertility - which at the moment seems like more of a guarantee than adoption.
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np: the cost of adoption is not something all couples can afford, and who are you to say they have had too many children - perhaps they would like to have one together?
[ Reply | Options ]if this couple can afford 6 biological children and/or fertility treatments to get #6, then they can damn well afford the adoption fees. There are millions of babies who needs parents, and I think it's arrogant to want to have a baby together just to somehow validate your marriage. It's pathetic. And you losers have already each failed a marriage so how do you know this one, with such a huge age gap, is going to work out? How fair is that on any of your kids?
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OP: i agree - it really isn't anyone's business how i choose to create a family - i was not asking whether i should have kids or not. i am going to have a child, i am just asking about fertility treatments.
[ Reply | Options ]why don't you adopt? how can you justify adding a sixth child between you? plus, you're old.
[ Reply | Options ]How can I JUSTIFY??? The same way I JUSTIFIED having my other children, the same way he JUSTIFIED having his children, the same way you JUSTIFIED havng your children. And excuse me for being 39 years old - last I checked I wasn't cashing social security checks yet.
[ Reply | Options ]I justified having two children and replacing myself. Not six children. That I could never justify no matter how much I desired it.
[ Reply | Options ]I gave birth to three children - the younger two are my step-children that my dh had with his ex. I welcome them with open arms into my home when I accepted dh's proposal. I am not going to let our already blended family stop us from having a child together.
[ Reply | Options ]yes, I understood the configuration of your family. You are two people with five children between you and planning to have a sixth because that would validate the enormous love you have for each other. I get it. You're still contributing to overpopulation and using up way too big a carbon footprint. Obviously, you don't care, so kudos to you!
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she did not ask for your judgement - she asked for opinions about fertility - who are you to say she has ENOUGH kids? some people do not feel they have to stop after 2.
[ Reply | Options ]some people "do not feel" they have any ecological responsibility at all. Some other people "do not feel" they have to ke
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