[-]Please suggest simple games to play with children (ages 5 to 11) at a birthday party.
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]A simple cakewalk is fun; our school does it at the carnival every year. Like musical chairs but you can use big colored dots that you arrange in a circle. The kids walk the circle while music plays and then they stop on a dot when the music stops. You have a bowl of plastic chips (or whatever) in corresponding colors and have an adult pull a color out and the child on that color wins a prize - usually a cupcake or some treat. The nice thing is whoever is pulling out the colors can easily make sure every child gets something at some point in the game. Really, really fun.
[ Reply | Options ]we just did eating doughnuts off a string at a Halloween party and it was a huge hit with all ages. tie the doughnuts to a long string and hang off some sort of coat rack/curtain rod. kids race to see who can eat their doughnut first with no hands.
[ Reply | Options ]That is such a good idea! Did you put down a tarp/newspaper or something or was it ok to clean up afterwards?
[ Reply | Options ]we did it outside. but it's really not that messy. The doughnuts might fall on the floor, but more often the kid eats it all. I liked the mini powered sugar Entenmann's ones, but they can be a little hard to get the string through. The kids get powdered sugar all over their faces.
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[-]Do you think it's scary to be parent of a teenager in NYC? Why? How do you handle these concerns? I do. So many factors outside my control - media exposure, peer pressure, emphasis on material values, violence and sex in culture, huge external societal pressure to achieve and excel in multiple areas (at tt private), etc.
72 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]This is not unique yo new York city and is even worse in wealthy suburbs. I love the people who move to Rye and Greenwich thinking they are safe when the problems just become more consentrated with fewer outlets to diffuse the situations. Jeez, some of these kids spend 20k on their senior prom, that is something to worry about.
[ Reply | Options ]Pull your kid out of TT private if you worry he'll pull a "Dalton" and end up on the sidewalk.
[ Reply | Options ]Suicide happens everywhere, one suicide at a tt school is not a reflection on the school, suicide happens when people are mentally ill, nit stressed from school, please don't sell mental illness short, it is so much more complex than you like to make it out. Ps, do a google search on "manasquan high school" and suicide and trains and think about your opinion of Dalton. Ok?
[ Reply | Options ]Why discriminate against Dalton? There was that boy who self-immolated at Collegiate a few years ago. Or the kid who hung himself or the kid that locked himself in a garage with a car running at my suburban mid-western high school (the same year!) back in the day. Teen depression and suicide is pretty universal.
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I think you're fooling yourself if you think you are escaping it by staying in the city. Anywhere there is wealth, there is pressure.
[ Reply | Options ]nobody's saying you escape it in the city. just noting OP says its scary to be the parent of a teenager in NYC. many of us think it would be scary anywhere.
[ Reply | Options ]I would agree then, I doubt NYC is any scarier (or less scary) than the wealthy burbs. There are different challenges in both, but I think they equal out.
[ Reply | Options ]I have nieces and nephews in wealthy westchester burbs. They are not as exposed to the homeless people on the subway or whatever, but I think they are more materialistic about labels and cars and clothes etc. than my dc's (roughly same age) who go to Manhattan privates. I also think the burbs are worse because they are DRIVING in high school and many of them end up in the city anyway on the weekends
[ Reply | Options ]ITA. In burbs your wealth is far more on display, in the city, it's more anonymous.
[ Reply | Options ]I would definitely agree that material items are more on display in the burbs. But I think there is a lost sense of reality in the city- I don't think a lot of those kids realize they live a privileged lifestyle. I'm not sure which is better or worse.
[ Reply | Options ]What is the priveleged lifestyle? DC goes to public school, rides a yellow bus, or a subway, back and forth to school. We don't have household help. "The city" is not the dangerous thing, in terms of the lifestyle. People choose their lifestyles, and that defines what your child is primarily exposed to, or the perspective that they have about where they fit in.
[ Reply | Options ]lol. We live in a small home in Fairfield County. My kids ride the bus, go to publics, we have no help, share a bedroom, and I consider them very privileged. I guess it just depends on how you grew up yourself.
[ Reply | Options ]np - Why do you think your kids are privileged? Because they have a roof over their heads and never miss a meal?
[ Reply | Options ]Moreso because we live in one of the wealthiest areas of the country, and the cultural opportunities reflect that, very few of their classmates are on public assistance, we have a savings account, and although they don't get everything they want, it's rarely because their parents can't afford it. that all equals privilege to me.
[ Reply | Options ]Interesting. I grew up working class/poor and I didn't know anyone on public assistance and my parents had a savings account. I did buy books & toys at thrift shops and my mother made most of my clothes but I don't know if it's because they couldn't afford it or that's just the way they were. And, no, I do not consider myself as having grown up privileged.
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Materialism is based on the parents, no matter where they live. If the parents are always trying to keep up with the Jones, then the kid will be materialistic too. Just seeing homeless people on the subway does not really make a difference. If you want your kids to be influenced by the great disparity of wealth (and mental illness, in the case of most homeless,) they have to get more involved than just walking past homeless people on the subway.
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MUCH much worse in the burbs where it's more homogeneous. I feel better for dcs in Manhattan than anywhere else because there are so many different types of people and groups just outside the door, so they can see that, even if they don't fit in with certain peer groups, there are many others that they can join and be perfectly happy with.
[ Reply | Options ]I was a teenager in NYC in the bad old days of the the city on the edge of bankruptcy, high crime rates and the "warriors." As a parent of a teenager now, the city is like Disneyworld compared to the way it used to be. I joke with my friends that we need to send our kids out to Kansas or Iowa or somewhere "dangerous" like that so they can learn some "street smarts" that you just can't get in NY anymore. If your kid is hanging out with a spoiled, unsupervised, wealthy, spoiled (did I say spoiled enough?) crowd, that has nothing to do with being in NY, it has to do with choices that you made for them that were, perhaps, not so wise. Blame yourself, not NY.
[ Reply | Options ]I grew up in NYC and I LOVED my teen years here--went to public school, btw--we'd get free tickets from school to go to the opera and Metropolitan museum...my mom would take me to the theater all the time, and the ballet--it's an incredible place to be a teenager. So much culture and excitement. I got really into poetry, going to poetry readings and Gotham Book Mart. I don't want to raise my teen kids anywhere else! Beats hanging out at the mall or 7-Eleven any day.
[ Reply | Options ]As a parent of 2 teenagers, I feel your pain, but my sister in the suburbs has convinced me that we are the lucky ones. Our dc's have so many more interesting things to engage them than smoking dope in the parking lot, we don't have to worry about drunk driving and, from what I've seen, they get most of their crazy behavior out of their systems before they leave for college, where we'll have no influence at all.
[ Reply | Options ]I would be much, much more afraid in the suburbs. The idea of one of my DCs getting in a car with a drunk driver would keep me up at night.
[ Reply | Options ]Agree with all the posts here. I too grew up in NYC in the 70s - no working pay phones - scary blocks but I survived and loved it. My daughter is surrounded by kids here in NYC who still in this recession have tremendous wealth. I don't think it's scary in terms of safety, but scary in terms of value. And I think I'm losing this battle. Her peers with their false values are right now more important to her than whatever I or her Dad might say. I will say that the kids in the burbs do drink and drive so I'm grateful that isn't an issue here. Still, there is lots of sex and drugs and booze here in the city. It is scary and upsetting and something you just have to contend with as a parent.
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FACT: In many suburbs, you need to be 18 years old before you can drive a car with other teens in it. FACT: a lot of kids go to college at age 18. Drinking and driving is a serious issue, but I think a lot of people here obsess about it just to make themselves feel safer in the city. Both areas have their own teen challenges, but drinking and driving is not nearly as pervasive as drug use, or other issues.
[ Reply | Options ]FACT: The more you drive, the more likely you are to get into an accident. Whatever age you are. When I was in high school in college in another state I knew several people who were killed and/or seriously injured in cars. I was in several car accidents, luckily did not get hurt (I was a passenger and none of the accidents were the driver's fault). You can't control what people in other cars are doing. It's not so much what your kid might do but what some drunk idiot who is over 18 might do. That
[ Reply | Options ]Every single person I know well who grew up in the suburbs knew someone who was killed in a drunk driving accident--in all cases, they were HIT by the drunk (or, in one case, the deer) and were not in fact drunk themselves. Teens are not experienced drivers, and are more likely to get into accidents, whether or not they themselves were drinking. FWIW, I grew up in Manhattan and knew one person who died--and it was in a car crash over the summer when he was not in nyc.
[ Reply | Options ]np: I just have to echo what the posters above have said. Based on my experience growing up (being in 3 car wrecks before the age of 20, one of them very very serious, and losing one friend in a different car wreck), and comparing notes with others, you are silly to downplay just how dangerous the cars+teens+BOREDOM mix is. The big form of recreation in many suburban areas is to cruise around from party to party. FACT.
[ Reply | Options ]just to reiterate- it is no longer legal for teens under the age of 18 to drive with other teens in the car. And you can wait to allow your dc to drive until they are 24, but they will still be the least experienced driver on the road, and therefore the most at risk for accidents.
[ Reply | Options ]Actually, you need to get your facts straight. In the tristate area, only CT has a law like that, and teen drivers may still drive with their younger siblings or other family members. I grew up in the suburbs, driving was all we had, and my state was one where you had be 17 years old to drive. In my school 3 kids were killed in regular, dAylight accidents, two of them were driving alone, btw.
[ Reply | Options ]np: Teens have more accidents because teens are the least-experienced drivers. You can move the driving age up to 35, and then 35 yo's will have the most accidents. They have to learn to drive at some point, unless, of course, you want them to live at home the rest of their lives.
[ Reply | Options ]nnp - Or unless you live in NYC (and many other major cities) instead of the burbs
[ Reply | Options ]nnnp--I think brain wiring is a factor. Teen brains are not completely mature. 35 year olds' brains are.
[ Reply | Options ]But at the ages of 16-20 or so, 1) kids feel immortal, 2) they're bored, 3) they want to be out late, and 4) they generally want to push the envelope in any other way possible. I would love to see any sort of back-up/study that says the reason that teens have more accidents is because teens are the least-experienced drivers.
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np: Very few states are at 18. And the big point is that there isn't a whole lot to do that doesn't involve cars in the suburbs.
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I believe it's scary to be the parent of a teenager anywhere. Period. Signed, mother of a teenager!
[ Reply | Options ]I absolutely agree with the above posting. It is really really scary to be a parent of a teenager. Unfortunately, you can talk till you're blue in the face about responsibility concerning sex, drugs and booze, and still they don't listen. Also, their peers are SO much more important than Mom and Dad. And by the time they're in high school, they have chosen their friends, whether you like them or not. I wish I had known this would be so tough and I'm completely unprepared. I could deal with the toddler and middle school years, even the screaming sleepless infant nights, so much better than now.
[ Reply | Options ]ITA. Finding it extraordinarily stressful right now to be the parent of a 15 yo and almost 13 yo girl. Give me the baby years back.
[ Reply | Options ]I am the parent of a 15 yr old. It has been ok for now because we are the place where the kids converge and hang out. I think it is super important to be around, but not necessarily in the same space. I find the kids go to movies on the weekend, eat out, etc. However, I am amazed that some of the kids seem to have really late curfews. They spend the night here, and their parents never call to check up on them (don't call me-that's for sure.) I, too, am relieved that they are not driving in NYC. I do think some of the weekend parties held by private school kids are over the top and there is a fair amount of drinking. Where are the parents at those parties? I never really can figure that out.
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[-]I've been hearing about how bad the dances are at some high schools. Kids having sex on dance floor. This going on anywhere in Long Island?
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[-]childcare/housekeeper: any sites/sources NY UB's would recommend? have tried Craigslist/Irish Echo/Polish Times etc. -- with overwhelming response from many unqualified candidates.
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My former nanny/housekeeper is looking for a new ft position if interested plz let me know
[ Reply | Options ]I am also looking for a f/t nanny/housekeeper. Please email me at nycnannyhousekeeper@gmail.com with the details about your former employee. Thank you!
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[-]my dc took the erb today ( 4 1/2) and told me they said I don't know to most of the questions. I didn't prep at all. I at least should have practiced asking a few questions. i feel like an idiot. dc said I don't know to things dc really knew. yikes!!
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Don't panic. I didn't prep at all, i.e. didn't even ask any questions, and my DC when I gently nudged re: what went on in there said "there were hard questions but she said it was OK." DC got 99/96/99. No matter how gently you nudge, they sense your anxiety and then say weird things which you then naturally, being anxious, focus on too much. Bet your DC did well.
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[-]Looking for a few unusual suggestions for that old Halloween game--Feel the Body Parts. Doing it with the tween set so they will know grapes for eyeballs, spaghetti for intestines, etc. Can you help me out with a few surprises for the BTDT crowd? THanks.
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Yes, hide behind a curtain and jump out with a chainsaw and a white hockey mask.
[ Reply | Options ]I went to a Halloween party years ago where we were all sitting around a table passing the bowls of body parts around and on the table was what looked like a dead person covered completely with a sheet. Not most people thought (including) me that it was decoration. As the whole thing was winding down the person on the table popped up and scarred the who-know-what out of us b/c it was unexpected. It has to be someone who can look like they aren't breathing while under the sheet though.
[ Reply | Options ]I can remember a whole, cooked cauliflower that was supposed to be a brain. and there were cold mashed potatoes, but I don't remember what they were supposed to be. Also a bowl of jello for something. It's been a long time since I went to a parties like that, but they were always fun
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[-]My teenage daughter is 18 and so is her boyfriend. He lives in NY with his grandmother and aunt(their apt). The mother during the week lives in NJ with her sister, and her sister's boyfriend. Her job is located in NJ. On the weekends she is with her son. For quite a few weeks the grandmother and aunt have not been speaking to him for whatever reason. My daughter has been saying she needs to be there for him and help him. He's been there for her now it's his turn. I feel anyday she will be approaching me for him to come stay with us. I do not want this for many obvious reasons. Besides telling her my reasons, what is the best way to approach this?
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My house, my rules. I will not accept you and your boyfriend living with me. End of discussion.
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An easier way to approach this without having a big fight with my daughter. He has a mother who has been calling my daughter and getting her involved. Which yes I know she is, but I really don't think the mother should be calling my daughter.
[ Reply | Options ]Sounds like an episode of "Cops" waiting to happen... One question: since he's 18 could he ever end up with his own place while Mom's away and then you're stuck with the opposite scenario-- her at HIS place? This is tough I'd ask a professional.
[ Reply | Options ]No! He has no money and he is looking for a part time job while he is in school.
[ Reply | Options ]i would contact the aunt and grandmother on the down low and try to find out why they are not talking to him. something is definitely amiss here and although your daughter is 18 she still lives at home as a concerned parent you need to know what is up with this kid. his living arrangement alone is less than conventional and raises some red flags. where is the father? and more importantly what did he do that was so awful his aunt and grandmother are not speaking to him and your daughter is signaling that she wants him to live with you? smells fishy to me.
[ Reply | Options ]From what my daughter tells me. Her boyfriend went to register for school and his mother went with him. She was suppose to take the grandmother and aunt somewhere and now could not. Maybe they feel that she owes them because her son is living with them. The parents are divorced and the father lives upstate. I do feel there is more to the story but this is all my daughter has told me.
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since she hasn't explicitly asked yet because it hasn't gotten to that point, drop her subtle hints now (before she asks) that this is not going to happen.
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Why can't you tell her your reasons? She is 18 - you can talk to her. Hopefully, she is bright enough to know that at the heart of it, this is really not a great idea. Most importantly, I wouldn't worry about it - she may not even bring it up.
[ Reply | Options ]you need to call the grandmother and aunt on the down low. they will understand and as long as you don't divulge any controversial info. to them they will keep it to themselves. to be honest don't you think they are wondering who you are and what's going on at your place?
[ Reply | Options ]To add to this. I adopted her and her brother. They were with their biological parents till they were 4 and 6. They were in fostercare for 4 years. This says alot.
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They are 18 years old. I am in no way responsible for him. He has a mother and a father. He is their child, their responsibility! They have not kicked him out. My daughter just doesn't like the situation he is in.
[ Reply | Options ]i agree with you. also, you can't let your daughter just treat your home like a hotel-it has rules. if your daughter asks for him to move in, just say that his own family doesn't want to talk to him, so why would i, who have no relation to him, want to? you need to be firm, because it seems like you're going to let ur daughter and her bf walk all over you.
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Your daughter should learn how to size up a potential mate. Someone with personal problems who might start to leech off her and her family is something she should develop a radar for.
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[-]Where do teenagers hang out in NYC??? I'm trying to get my 16yo daughter away from Union Square where her ex-boyfriend hangs out ALL day and night. She claims that there isn't anywhere else to be in NYC. We live and send her to school in Brooklyn and I'm entirely TOO old to know where to go nowadays.
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I don't think you can make your teenager hang out somewhere else. She'll figure it all out. Wherever her buddies hang out that's where she is going to hang out.
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She needs to stop dating skaters. Kids hang out in apartments, central park, starbucks. I love (meaning hate) hte poster who siad she went downtown to bars, clubs and house parties. yes, every night she did that, right.
[ Reply | Options ]OP: She's going out tonight with a girlfriend and she wants to find an area where other teenagers will be so that she can see/meet/flirt with new boys. Anything? The most promising advice I got from this post so far: Astor Place, Wash. Sq., Met stairs. Anything else?
[ Reply | Options ]Seriously, we went to a lot of bars that friends went to that served underage and clubs (when those were big don't know about now). Can you look in nymag.com under the entertainment section? Sorry! My dcs are 10 and 7
[ Reply | Options ]OP: I looked. I'm not looking for an event, though. My daughter specifically did not want musical venues - punk, noise, or otherwise.
[ Reply | Options ]Tell her to go to the east village and wander around until she finds a bar that serves and hang out. Or NYU area where they tag underage but allow them in
[ Reply | Options ]OP: I can't openly condone my 16yo hanging out in a bar. And I don't really want her to either. I want her to meet her peer group, not people who can get into bars. That's why I'm looking for teen spots, like Union Square, but elsewhere.
[ Reply | Options ]I understand that but this is a difficult scenario. She wants to go out at night she wants to meet other 16 yo who are out in manhattan at night and what do you think 16 yos out in manhattan at night together are doing? Not being snarky I lived that life and I was a 'good girl'. There aren't any teen centers or no alcohol bar hangouts here
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I think the area around NYU is appealing to teens bc of so many college students.
[ Reply | Options ]Why would a bunch of old ladies on UB have better info on where teens hang out thatn your daughter does? that's weird!
[ Reply | Options ]OP: It's not weird at all. We live in Brooklyn. When my daughter goes to Manhattan, it's just to Union Square. She has a very limited social crowd. I thought maybe you old ladies had teens, knew them, or saw them hanging out in your neighborhood in the evenings, on date night, or whatever.
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she's old enough to get a part-time job. most everybody i knew in high school had some sort of job by senior year. even dh, with his fancy pants private school and wealthy neighborhood, was scooping ice cream at baskin robbins as soon as he was legal to work. a productive way channel all that teen down time and need for semi-independence.
[ Reply | Options ]when we finally decided to bite the bullet and move to the burbs, the one thing I did feel *sad* about was that when dc was a teen he wouldn't have as much to do as he would in the city....and then I sort of suspected that he'd say he was "bored" even if we were in the city. I want to thank all the responders with teens who have confirmed my suspicion!!!
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well a few seem to....my point is the teens are doing the same things teens do in the burbs: movies, starbucks, pizza etc. It doesn't sound like they are taking advantage of broadway shows and museums
[ Reply | Options ]Some definitely do museums. Unfortunately Bway shows are too expensive these days but they do go sometimes. Many go to Shakespeare in the Park of course. And many go to various concerts, whether free and open or at clubs (if of age), around town - jazz and classical as well as rock.
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Are there still laser shows at the Museum of Natural History? I remember doing that, movies, diners, walking around, Washington Square Park, swing dancing for a while when that was cool, playing pool, Urban Outfitters, music stores like Tower and HMV. Don't know what's around nowadays.
[ Reply | Options ]She might like Etsy's craft night. It happens every Monday at their warehouse down in DUMBO. http://www.etsy.com/storque/events/
[ Reply | Options ]I think it is definitely easier for boys, who will just play pick-up basketball (even at night), soccer, etc. My 15 y/o DD goes to friends houses constantly, to the movies, out to eat (nowhere expensive, she pays with her $$). I would say she and her friends spend the majority of their time at each others houses. On the weekends, they walk around in soho, or play tennis or whatever. Nights are kind of tough.
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This whole post makes me think that I'd better move to the suburbs before my kids hit high school! My HS experience included Friday night football games, gathering at the local restaurant after soccer or basketball games, pizza parties/sleepovers in friend's finished basements, pool parties, school dances, bowling, and an occasional movie. My mom always knew where I was, and most of the time a parent was home with us! I'm sure it was nerve wracking for my parents when I got my drivers license, but I just drove around town to friend's houses and restaurants.
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I posted above about our moving to the burbs and feeling bad about a lack of activities for dcs as teens...my burb experience was the same as yours growing up and I guess this is why I felt my kids would miss out if we left the city. I did all the NYC cultural stuff after I moved there as an adult. Like the poster above said, teens can't afford to take advantage of "all the city has to offer"....it's too expensive!
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When I was in HS in nyc, we went to MOMA (free admission with school ID) after school to sit in the Spring Garden and do homework or just hang out until it was late enough Friday to go to dinner and then to the pool hall. We drank cappuccino at Chelsea Blliards (pre-starbucks era) or other pool halls in NYC (I knew a pool hall at every subway stop). The pool halls were filled with hs students on Friday and Saturday nights. Ate at Uno's in the village a lot and then walked around. If we needed another activity, we'd go to the planetarium for the laser show. House parties were for drinking, otherwise we were sober and just ate dinner out. We weren't really looking to meet kids from other schools though. BTW - this was all while I was l...
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[-]Does anyone know of a nice place in Manhattan for mani-pedi for mother-daughter (8-yo)?
59 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Definitely your home, where you give your daughter the mani-pedi and then let her paint your nails with clear, phthalate-free polish.
[ Reply | Options ]There's a really cute place in Brooklyn Heights called Perfectly Polished that I often see moms and young daughters at. I think they even throw kids parties there.
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Dashing Divas. I saw two moms take 4 -- 6 year olds there and they were having a ball. They use phthalate/chemical free polishes. Have fun.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm the person who thinks children shouldn't be given mani/pedis except at home, but I agree the Dashing Diva is the only place I would take my dd, except that I wouldn't.
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I'm against it because I think it makes children more entitled. Most of our kids are already way too entitled. Thing is, if this were the ONLY thing like this people did with their kids, it probably wouldn't matter. But in general, I think it's icky to things like this with children. It's just so unnecessary -- different than a haircut or the dentist. It's very real housewives to get children's nails done. That's all.
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Ignore the trolls. I used to regularly see kids that age in my salon on the UES and places in midtown and now where we live in the burbs. Just find a nice salon in the area where you want to go and, assuming your daughter is well-behaved, it will not be an issue. Try the nymag.com site for ideas or repost with a neighborhood.
[ Reply | Options ]Thinking that paying a Korean lady to stoop down and paint my kid's toenails is tacky makes me a troll? Thinking that teaching a young child that women should spend money to pay for people to perfect us is not a good message for little girls makes me a troll? Jesus Christ, people. These are your children, not your buddies. I suppose you;ll be buying them thong underwear and taking them to get bikini waxes in just a couple years.
[ Reply | Options ]np: I don't think it's horribly offensive that people do this, but I agree -- the thought of having an adult down at my little girl's feet, tending to her feet is just weird to me. Not saying it's definitely wrong, but it doesn't feel right to me, so I wouldn't do it. But this is NYC and parents here have a different mindset about things like this.
[ Reply | Options ]If you are consistent with this in every aspect of your childrearing, great. But I highly suspect that you apply these values variably and are a run-of-the-mill sanctimommy. Does this mean *you* never pay people to "perfect" you or spend money on vain pursuits? Do you cut your own hair, no makeup, no shaving? Cause seeing you "take advantage" of other women like this is sending your dd an inconsistent message also.
[ Reply | Options ]I try to be as consistent as possible. In no way do I succeed 100%. But I try. And I think the message sent to an 8-year-old of paying someone to make you look better--is an inappropriate message for an 8-year-old girl. You can't take the fact that this is a child out of the equation. It's not a matter of being militantly anti-make-up or cutting one's own hair. It's a matter of recognizing that the understanding of the message as filtered by an eight-year-old's mind (even a smart and savvy eight-year-old) may not be as innocuous as you think.
[ Reply | Options ]yes, sanctimommy as i thought. it's much more consistent and healthy to teach your child that the women providing this service are to be treated with respect and that the value is in honest work. teaching your child that the woman giving a mani/pedi is somehow debasing herself is the much bigger problem. your obvious self-importance and sense of superiority is more damaging to your child than the reality that people pay others to provide services in various service professions.
[ Reply | Options ]Um, excuse me. I have to take my kid for a pedicure in order to teach her that the women that are painting her nails deserve respect? That's a good reason to go for a mommy/daughter pedicure? I can't teach her the lesson that all people of all walks of life deserve respect and that there is value in honest work in a billion other ways? Really, now, think through what you just wrote.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: ITA. There is no point in arguing with someone perfect like this. Seriously, you are just feeding the troll by responding to her. People like this thrive on the attention. Ignoring her is the best message of all.
[ Reply | Options ]A troll because I don't agree with you? Seriously, you may not agree with my perspective. That doesn't make me a troll. Have fun getting your mani/pedis with your daughters. It's a beautiful message in a world where young girls are bombarded with the message that their looks trump all else. Now they can get that message from school AND from Mommy who (rather sanctimoniously herself) uses the Korean lady stooping at her young daughter's feet as a lesson in "respect." How wonderful for you!
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There is nothing disrespectful about a person giving a manicure. It's legal, honest work. Does it bother you that someone has to pick your vegetables and fruits, or do you just not eat them? Because living conditions for most farmworkers is squalid.
[ Reply | Options ]Nobody is saying it isn't legal and honest work. It's perfectly fine for young women and adults. This is about an eight-year-old. Your logic is fine for an older child but the particular combo of service for beauty, body image/what's important for women, and what we spend our own hard-earned money on is a triple whammy for such a young girl, in my opinion. Let's just agree to disagree.
[ Reply | Options ]Back up. You said it was more demeaning for a Korean woman to gave to stoop over a child's nails. That's what my comment was addressing. The body image- young girl thing is your choice, but it is not any more demeaning to do a child's nails. It's honest work and many nail technicians seem to get a kick out of kids. My first post was two above. Someone else was discussing it with you previously.
[ Reply | Options ]OR: that was me. also not the troll commenter. i agree that this person has some sort of odd preoccupation with the idea of a stooping Korean woman. i have had basic pedis with both my 9yo dd and 7yo ds simply because they are fun. and yes, the nail techs absolutely enjoyed it and thought it was fun to see the kids jazzed about it. we do it for the fun experience, not the end result - thus also doing it with ds and in the winter when no one is seeing their toes. we haven't done it in a while due to cost, but i miss the experience and so do the kids. i'm about as far from looks obsessed as you could get - don't fit in or own any designed clothes; don't wear makeup (tho have no objection to it); etc. mani/pedi for a child and parents is what ...
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Thank you to everyone who provided useful responses. Again, if I had wanted peoples' opinions on the appropriateness of beauty treatments for children I would have asked for them. On a side note I appreciate that people want to teach their children respect and not to focus on superficialities, but I think one can do that and still let them have their nails done as a special treat. It's not necessarily black/white. It's not like this child will have her nails done at a salon on a regular basis.
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[-]My thirteen year old son has mild to moderate global hypotonia. Right now he's very skinny except his belly is a little rounded and soft. He's always been very unathletic, but now that he's in puberty, he's interested in how he looks and wants to look more "manly." (This is coming from him, not me.) Other kids have teased him and still do sometimes about how unathletic and soft his body is. I want to help him. I watched him do a martial arts demo the other day and he there was so much he couldn't do. His back was rounded during a lot of the exercises. He looked like he had CP. (he doesn't.) And even tho he goes to the martial art several times a week, he's still quite spindly. There's improvement, but it's very slow and if he misses even ...
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]My dd is the same, but she's only 6. I am also that way, kids thought I had CP when I was 12, 13, 14. I'm still very very rounded. i wish that my parents did somehting then, but of course they knew nothing. Have you been to OT or PT? I became stronger in high school doing spots that required eye hand coordination, does your dc have an over developed ability to catch things? That often comes with it and if you could use that it could be the way to go. I never could do martial arts even though it was recommended back in the 80's. My dd is trying tennis now.
[ Reply | Options ]He had OT/PT for a year when he was 10. That helped with sensory stuff, medialateral problems. He also doesn't see that well, no one seems to know why. So his ball catching isn't great. I"m afraid he's going to hurt himself - he always is complaining that this part or that part hurts. He can hyper extend and I worry that he'll hurt his joints. I"m a little hypotonic myself but just upper body. He can't play any competitive sport because he's so much worse than any kid his age. Martial arts has been a pleasant surprise, but now that he's trying, he notices how different his body is than other kids. I haven't told him he's hypotonic - his ped doesn't believe in it as dx except in really severe cases, and I was afraid he'd feel stigmatized. I ...
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I don't know anything about this condition, does it respond to weight lifting? Maybe a physiotherapist could act as a "personal trainer" for him (so it sounds cool rather than medical). It doesn't require co-ordination per se and he wouldn't be constantly compared to others in a competitive, group setting. Once he had some muscle tone and confidence maybe other things would come more easily.
[ Reply | Options ]I don't know what it responds to, honestly. He's gotten some tone with martial arts and when he was swimming. but it goes away quickly if he doesn't keep it up. And he still looks spindly. And I'm afraid to get a trainer for him who is not going to be informed about and sensitive to his condition because I'm afraid he could get easily hurt. I'd really like to find someone who is familiar with hypotonia either as a trainer, therapist who could work with him. Or a parent who's been through it and can tell me what to have him do.
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[-]Brooklyn Swim Center presents group swimming lessons as well as private swimming lessons. Big, clean pool. Certified staff. Convenient Q/B train location. Please call to make an appointment at 646-705-3106
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[-](Apologies for the repost): Desperate question for moms of early risers: my DD (16 months old) got up at 4:50 this morning and would not go back to sleep. We usually let her cry until 6:00 and then drag ourselves out of bed to start the day. But she has been waking our older son way too early as well. I don't know how to break this cycle. She needs an early nap and an early bedtime because she's so tired from getting up so early. Any advice from those who have BTDT? Thanks in advance!!
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I've taken to the couch, given older ds my bed and retraining 1 yr old to sleep better. I go in when he cries, quietly rub back and kiss him, shhhshhh him, then walk out. Let him cry 10 mins, repeat. After 2x3 times, go in after 20 mins - 15 if its unbearable. 2x3 times. After a few night if will get better. Did it this am w/my 1yr old in fact, who's used to getting bottle at 5:15 and I also decided way too early. Slept until 6:00.
[ Reply | Options ]my dd used to be that way....on the days she woke up as early as yours, i would push her naptime back as well as her bedtime. it was brutal for both of us, but it helped reset her clock.
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OP: OY!!!! Thanks for all the advice. I kept her up till 7:30 tonight. Will do every day for a week and see if that helps.
[ Reply | Options ]Do NOT keep her up later. In fact, put her to bed earlier. Many studies show kids who wake up too early do so because (how freakish is this...?) they are overtired. So more sleep = more sleep. Works withour baby, and seems totaly backwards.
[ Reply | Options ]She goes to bed at 6:00 or 6:30 most nights so the fact that she gets up at 5:00 is more a schedule thing than overtiredness. (I think.) Believe me, I am an advocate of early bedtime and have recommended HEALTHY SLEEP HABITS to everyone I know with kids. I'm just trying to adjust her cycle and am wondering if anyone else has had success with that.
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[-]Help: 2 dc's versus 4 dc's. dh and I are still deciding if we should add 2 more to our set of two. Teens, kids, school, money... any input?
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]it depends how old your current children are. 2 teens and 2 elementary age kids is a lot different than 4 kids under 10. in my family, we are 4 kids born within 7 years. we are all in college but still share rooms, share cars, etc. it's not practical for my dad to buy six cars. and most houses are made 3 bedrooms to fit the 'standard' 4 person family so it's hard to find a 5 bdrm house, esp. an affordable one. it is a LOT of work to raise four kids...either one parent would have to stay at home or you can 'outsource' some of the family duties like childcare, pickup and dropoff, tutoring, cleaning, cooking, etc. But of course, this requires a lot of money. However, now that we are older, we clean up by ourselves, help each other with homewo...
[ Reply | Options ]Why did people stop worrying about overpopulation and depleting the earth's resources? Why do people think they're entitled to have more than replacement level no. of children? When did this fad for more than two children start among educated affluent people?Two is enough, and they will give you plenty of love and satisfaction. If you want a big family, why not adopt?
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[-]DD turning 10. Ideas on something fabulous to do on her birthday. Best if idea could include whole family. We've done a Broadway play several times so I want a new surprise. Could do a day trip somewhere fun & surprising. Thanks.
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[-]DH here. reading these posts about premarital sex frighten the life out of me. I certainly dont want to ever walk in on my daugher having sex with a teenage boyfriend. I hope she is gay, that would be a lot easier to deal with.
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]While there's nothing wrong with your dd being gay, to wish it on her because you're too immature to handle her budding sexuality sounds a bit off. Hopefully you'll have a few years to work this out.
[ Reply | Options ]I started having sex with my HS boyfriend when I was 17. Prior to the first time, I went down to PP and got on the pill and waited 2 cycles (we had already been together for almost a year). I'm probably dating myself, but this was before STD/HIV awareness, but we did the responsible thing at the time before we started having sex. My parents found out I was on the pill, so we discussed it and they were left feeling as good as they could about having a sexually active teenager. I never got pg or an STD and I dated that boyfriend for another 3 years. So, young women can develop a healthy view of sex, but they really need their parents to be supportive and open minded. DH and I have a daughter and he swears he's going to lock her up until...
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as a mom of two dds, i'm terrified too! but we need to realize that sex and sexuality are a normal part of healthy development. we have to just do our best to encourage a healthy lifestyle. (now i'll just keep repeating that to myself for the next 15 years... dds are still in diapers)
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