[-]My DD was injured on the property of a large company and we rec'd a settlement from their insurer - does this totally kill my chances of getting a job with a totally separate part of this company?
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[-]How can Senators Brownback & Roberts from Kansas, Senator Cornyn from Texas, Senator Bond from Missouri, and 26 other Senators believe it is ok for companies to sweep rape under the rug?
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[-]Have you ever met anyone off of Craig's List Personals? Do tell!
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[-]At what age is too young for an email account? My SIL got her kids email accounts starting at first grade. Everything was about technology-they never had board games. My DCs went to spend the weekend at MILs house and she went ahead and set up accounts for them and had them emailing their cousins-WITHOUT OUR PERMISSION. She said "well they need to be friends with their cousins." Excuse me?? My kids are in kindergarten and third grade; the cousins are in middle school. So angry right now I could scream.
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My 8yr old has had email for about a year now (since 2nd grade.) There are restrictions - like he is only allowed on the computer when I'm around, etc. and I, obviously, have access to all his email...but, honestly? I think it would be a disservice for him NOT to. He has great computer skills and his typing is getting very good...skills I think are very, very important. He also has a blog he updates, adds photos to, etc. (private and only family members and some close friends have the access)
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oh, who cares. calm down. you're better off teaching them how to use the computer, etiquette, and what's appropriate than trying to cut them off from the real world.
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ita. they were emailing cousins. Your house though, your rules - don't let them at home on your computer if it bothers you. I don't think it is any worse than TV, video games, etc., etc., etc. Better than most. Obviously, WRITING a letter to the cousins would be ideal, but I think you should let this one go.
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whoa! I would be pissed. I am going to have the talk with dc about everything you type now can be found by employers later - and your children are WAY TOO YOUNG to get that. I would tell dc that MIL didn't know your rules about email - and even tho they have these accounts they ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE THE COMPUTER. Period. Wouldn't say too much to MIL. I'd just deal with dc.
[ Reply | Options ]you don't let your kids use a computer? really? wow. my kid does computers at school (including how to use email)
[ Reply | Options ]np: I don't let my kids use the computer either. It's basically another video game, and we have plenty of video distractions available already. I figure they'll pick up computer skills when they need them. I learned at 26 and now I'm a web designer. We used to let them on Webkinz and I really disliked it because it was all about purchasing stuff, and other mothers would argue, "but there are educational games on there!" It is what it is, let's not try and make it something it's not.
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[-]My husband get into these awful fights and our 2 yr old son is always caught in between. The fights are incessant and I am just so exhausted and drained. We are both intelligent and educated and understand that we shouldn't expose our child to this situation but we've gotten into an infinite loop where we push each other's triggers and the fights just escalate. I feel horrible for my child but don't know how to get out of this. We've tried couple's counseling but nothing works. Its all about blaming eachother for everything. I am so tired. I don't know what to do to escape from this roller coaster of a marriage. I need to save myself and my child.
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]there's a lot to be said for loving each other and taking care of each other, listening, being non-defensive. you can't change him but you can change the way YOU relate to him. that is the secret. change yourself and your behavior and you will change the entire dynamic of the relationship. it takes time but is worth it.
[ Reply | Options ]i am a better mom when i am alone with my son. when i'm with my husband in the middle of a fight, i'm so worked up that i lose my sense of reason and priorities (my child) and i'm just emotionally all over the place. my husband is not working now so he is home all the time. i am physically exhausted and i have no room to be my own person, let alone a good mother. all i can do is cry or go blank.
[ Reply | Options ]I don't think you should put energy into NOT fighting in front of your DS but, rather, try to talk through the disagreement with an even tone and figure out a solution in front of your DS so he knows what compromise looks like. If there's no way to reach a solution at that instant, then agree on a common phrase that you both can use when you want to end the discussion and save it for a more private conversation. For example, you could say, "Look, we're both a little upset. It's clear we're not getting anywhere so why don't we cool off for a little bit and talk about this when we've both had some time to think about it." But, don't ignore the problem. Really take pains to talk out the problems once you've cooled off. If you guys do come up w...
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[-]looking for a great spa destination to meet a good friend for a weekend. i'm in ny and she's coming from sf. any ideas? thanks
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[-]Hi - NYer here who will be in SanFran for our 10 year wedding anniversary. Any recommendations for great restaurant to celebrate? Saw the "dark" restaurant, Opaque on line. Looks interesting but maybe a little creepy. Any comments on this or another? We're staying in Union Square.
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[-]What do you do/say when a young toddler grabs a toy out of your child's hands at the park and their caretaker says nothing?
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I'd tell the caretaker their child grabbed the toy from my child and ask for it back but only if it's my child's toy. If it's one of those "shared park toys", I don't say anything.
[ Reply | Options ]The caretaker was right there and saw everything. i kept waiting for them to say something, but nada. My only 2yo DC just stands there acting stunned. I want to model something for him to say, but don;t want to come off as too nasty..thoughts?
[ Reply | Options ]Oh. Two is tough. I always wonder if 2 year olds have a concept of sharing and what is polite and impolite. I'm a chicken. I just use to bring extra toy/duplicate toys to the park. My friend was ballsy. She would take the toy from the child and say that Jeremy was playing with this. Then she would offer the toy grabber another toy.
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DC is 5, so it hasn't happened in a while, but it always depended on how old DC was at the time and how old the other DC was. When DC as a baby/toddler, I'd usually be in the sandbox with her and offer the other DC a different toy to play with; when the other DC was the same age/size as my DC I'd tell them to work it out for themselves.
[ Reply | Options ]depends how upset my dc is and how bad of a mood i'm in. also depends if it's our toy or not.
[ Reply | Options ]A mom put her kid on my 4 yo daughter's Kettler tricycle in the park. My daughter was upset, I went over to get the trike, the other mom said she's just sharing - right, I guess she can decide to share my property. I made no comment, and the mom realized I wasn't agreeing with her, and she took her kid off and said to her kid, "well some people don't like to share". I was ready to ask her if she would offer to replace and install new tires if she ran over glass and punctured the tires. Sharing one's toys is for the property owner to decide, not the public at large.
[ Reply | Options ]Yes and no. If you bring toys to the playground, esp. bikes and scooters, expect that other DCs will want to play with them and you will spend a lot of time saying "No." It's a lot easier to only bring stuff to the playground you are willing to share. Leave the rest of it at home.
[ Reply | Options ]Um, I've never seen playground children jump on other people's strollers, scooters, or bikes, or tricycles unless permission was given. Considerate people would ask. The fact is, for older kids, these are not toys, they are a vehicle for traveling somewhat longish distances for little legs.
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ITA. I have never had my kid "share" a bike even a tricycle that did not belong to him. As a matter of fact, I tell my children before they get to the park that they are not ride on any bikes, scotters, skateboards, or roller blades that belong to other children. Too much of a can of worms. That woman was out-of-line.
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What do you mean by "medical standards?" There's plenty of evidence it exists. This respondent is a crackpot.
[ Reply | Options ]the sensory integration defenders always use that "crackpot" label. Anyone who cares can read up on it, and if you look critically at the research, you will find the properly designed studies show the disorder is not properly defined, and the treatment is useless.
[ Reply | Options ]Thank you. I'm the OR. And btw, they don't try to call it SID anymore. Once the medical community refused to accept it as an actual dx - the pro sensory is a problem people changed the name. They now call it SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder). And are still trying to get the dx accepted - and still failing.
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[-]My question is for all you moms out there.....I have an 18 year old daughter who LOVES kids. She has thought it would be awesome to be a nanny while she is finishing her Scuba Diving hours. She is becoming a rescue swimmer and a master scuba diver. But, what she is finding is that most parents are only interested in ethnic women to watch their children. My daughter comes from an upper middle class family, with high morals, good family values, and a true love for children. She has been babysitting since she was 11 years old, and has taken all the classes, and is a licensed Life Guard, and CPR professional, plus she loves to cook and she speaks spanish! I am just curious as to why because she is white, that she is not good enough to watc...
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She's beautiful.....5'5, 115, green eyes, very friendly! But I dont know what her looks have to do with anything....just because she is pretty shouldnt be a hindrence I wouldnt think!
[ Reply | Options ]Are you trolling? A lot of mid-30s, overworked professional women who have recently undergone the harsh physical transformation of childbirth don't want a nubile 18 year old in their domestic sphere. At the very least, it'd probably make one feel bad and at the worst, the husband could become fixated or even try to engage in an affair.
[ Reply | Options ]a DH: i can tell you that my wife would reject 5'5" 115, & beautiful in a heartbeat on those exact grounds...& i can't say i blame her
[ Reply | Options ]OH wow!! I never even thought of that. I am so sorry. I suffer from severe scoliosis, and my daughter has always been taught to never look at people based on looks or appearance. She would never even think of that. I appologize if that would have offended anyone. Plus she is very much a Christian, and again, would never in a million years, want to offend anyone.
[ Reply | Options ]no reason to apologize...i'm sure your daughter is a wonderful girl...but hot 18 year olds can be a huge distraction
[ Reply | Options ]There is a huge difference between being HOT and being pretty! My daughter is professional in appreance...she would NEVER show her mid-riff, or wear low rise jeans, or show skin....that just isnt who she is. SO there is a difference. She would be a distraction in a good way....she would make your wife feel beautiful because of compliments and wanting to learn from her. She wouldnt pay the husband an ounce of attention except to show him respect for being a good father and husband. I guess it is the 21st century, and I should have known this would be an issue...I guess I need to watch more TV!! hee hee!!
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if it were me, it's the age rather than the ethnicity. and the fact that i want someone who needs the job, not someone who is just doing it to earn extra money. i want to know that they'll take it seriously, be on time, be responsible, etc. i've had one young nanny that was fantastic but my other two young nannies have really been not great.
[ Reply | Options ]But in order for her to become a Master Scuba Diver she needs 2000 hours of diving...that is a lot of diving, and she needs a job that will allow her to do that on her off time. She figures at least four years, and by that time, she should be acclimated to the city and possibly be able to stay with a family longer, while she plans her future. How long does one nanny usually stay with you? Again...very new to this whole nanny thing. Any advice is very helpful. Maybe this isnt the field she should be looking into...maybe we need to look at other avenues for her.
[ Reply | Options ]my advice to her would be to look for an off-hours nanny job to start. e.g. someone who needs after school care and/or homework help - they need someone educated and responsible but not someone who needs f/t hours. but if she does apply to the regular f/t nanny jobs, she should stress that she's responsible, that she's going to be prompt and reliable.
[ Reply | Options ]Thank you very much for the positive feedback. I really aprreciate it. As a parent I just want whats best for my daughter, and above all else if she is going to move away from home I want her to be safe...just like all of you want your children to be safe. Just so you know...that feeling never goes away...she is 18 and I still want to protect her! Wish us luck. Again thank you all for your feedback.
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Maybe most people are looking for longer term services than it can be reasonably expected for an 18 year old to provide. She's probably going to college soon and so would only have a brief time frame to be employed. People don't want to go through the hassle of finding a new nanny every few months or even every year if they think they can avoid it.
[ Reply | Options ]Maybe I am prejudiced based on age, but to me, 18 is too young for me to be a nanny. I mean esp. as it is her first "nanny" job. We hired a part-time nanny who was in her 40s with a teenager of her own who'd been a nanny for over 10 years. I really think your kid is still a kid and people assume that a) she won't be around for THAT long and b) she may not be able to be the person who can set limits, be the boss and handle meltdowns, etc yet but may be a WONDERFUL sitter who can come for a few hours and spend time with the kids and be fun and great and c) could she handle a real emergency?
[ Reply | Options ]I agree, it's her age. Also, her circumstances, but not in the way that you think. 18 yo get college, get other jobs, get boyfriends, etc. Much less stable.
[ Reply | Options ]Ok, well based on what I have learned here today, I am guessing that my daughter needs to find a different alternative for work if she intends on moving near the ocean to finish her schooling. She was truly just looking to stay in a family atmosphere since she is going to move so far from home and I want her to be safe. But I guess maybe this isnt the way to go.
[ Reply | Options ]Don't give up, but understand the reasons why. I don't think it's because she's not "ethnic," I turned away "ethnic" young girls because I was concerned that either their schoolwork or new BF was going to interfere with child care.
[ Reply | Options ]Seriously....the ethnic thing IS why she was refused three different positions. That is the only reason why I thought to ask all of you....Now I am finding that ethnicity is just a part of what her boundries will be. She needs to be older, uglier, and of a different race. WOW...I guess she better stick with just being a life guard at the local pool for minimum wage. Just kidding....of course we wont give up hope. Something will come along....if it's meant to be.
[ Reply | Options ]So you're telling me that a minority girl of same age and qualifications applied for the same job and got it? I think not. You're trying to get a rise out of people, it seems. It's because of her young age and committment to another activity.
[ Reply | Options ]I can't say "who" got the jobs....I just know what they told her as to why she didnt get the job. If it is those other things, like you say, then that may be the case...Im just going by what we were told. Why would I want to get a rise out of anyone? Who cares....I just wanted some advice, that is all. I got the advice...and Im happy...thats all.
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what is her long term goal though? a lot of people want reliable and most people need a nanny for at least 3-4 yrs or longer...probably most people dont trust that an 18 yr old would be reliable enough
[ Reply | Options ]Joanna is very goal oriented, and that is why she is thinking this through before she moves away to whole new city. Her ultimate goal is to be a rescue diver. But in order for her to do that she has to dive...A LOT!!! Well, in order to dive a lot, she has to have money, and she has to live by the water. Being a nanny, she thought, would give her a family away from her family....she would be able to take care of children, which she loves...and be able to dive on her off time, and plus be a part of someone elses family so that maybe she wouldnt be so home sick. She would need a job that would last a minimum of 4 to 5 years, because that is how long it will take for her to get all of her dive hours in. She figured if she was hired by a famil...
[ Reply | Options ]well then she's obviously not doing this in nyc right? where exactly is she looking for this nanny position?
[ Reply | Options ]No, probably not NYC, she is more apt to move to Miami, or LA. I guess I should have looked at the site better...My Bad!! OOPS! I have probably been talking this whole time to people in NYC. Sorry everyone, for yapping about this issue of ethnic..or not..for why my daughter is being over looked at jobs. Thanks though for your feedback.
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