moving to westchester. How to find a babysitter/housekeeper? My current one takes care of 3 dcs and cleans, does laundry 2x week. I know she is Mary Poppins and lightning does not strike twice (generally). But how do I find someone like that? What do you pay per hour, per week, or live in? Please help, thanks!
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[-]Cooking moms: Am making a brussels sprout/potato gratin for Thanksgiving. Hostess told us 40 people are coming, so my questions is twofold: 1) should I make this dish for 40 or perhaps less since it's a side dish and 2) can I use a disposable foil-type pan since I don't have a gratin dish that big? Will that still work? Many thanks; I know these seem like dumb questions but I am not a cooking maven by any stretch! TY!!
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]i would make it for 20, tops. not everyone likes brussels sprouts and presumably there will be tons of sides so even those who do may only take a dollop.
[ Reply | Options ]You might want to get a plain baking dish and make that a hostess gift. It doesn't have to be extravagant, $20 or so at a hardware store. Not a requirement, just a nice-to-do idea.
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[-]saw "granny mom" post the other day and made me wonder--what experiences have "older" momes (40 or more when dc was born) have in NYC or elsewhere (I mean experiences specifically related to their age)?
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]none really. but it is fun to watch people try to do the math when i mention year i graduated or some other time reference. that could be anywhere tho. #1 at 41 and pg now w #2.
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[-]How much input does a preschool director have? If preschool director thinks DC is a good candidate for HM but had a less than stellar playdate, do you think HM will take a pass? Obviously, this is all spec.
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Is anyone else concerned about all of the Swine Flu and Roto Virus at Grace Church School in Brooklyn Heights? My child's class had only 4 kids at school last week. The older class had only 3 kids at school. The room looks dirty to me, and nothing is being done to keep parents informed or to make for better hygiene. The gym mats that my son plays on are filthy and look as if they have never been washed or wiped down. The teachers tell me that the toys are washed at the beginning of the school year, but my request to have them cleaned and crayons replaced due to the illness at large are being denied. Grace Church school is a comforting place in terms of nurturing kids, but it is clearly a rat hole in terms of hygiene. Any one offer an...
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[-]I would love some input from btdt moms to ds. Lately my 4 yr old Ds has been very unkind ot his best friend. Whenever they play eh is bossy and says mean things, to the point where I need to end the playdate. I talk to DS about his behavior and he just shuts down. He only acts this way with this one friend. I don't want to be too intrusive a mother (a problem for me) but I want my child to be kind to his friend. Advice?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]my dd had a friend in prek like that, only she was the one who was the recipient of the bossy/mean child. i told her when she would complain about it, that friends dont treat you that way and that she should play with someone else because the kid was not acting like a friend. not sure if it worked to stop the other kids behavior, but it did empower my child. you could say something along the same lines to your kid and remind him that you should treat people how you wish to be treated.
[ Reply | Options ]I think you should keep working with your child, and even perhaps punish your child by withholding playdates for a week, or something like that. My ds was on the receiving end of that behavior. His best friend ended up befriending the "class bully" who was really FAR too socially sophisticated to be in the grade in which he was placed. Through first and second grade my kid was treated badly by this boy he had thought of as "best friend" in pre-k and k. The situation ended badly for the class bully as well as for the boy who was mean to my child. Class bully was counseled out (private), and other child lost his friends (including my ds). I don't know why the parents did not intervene more. We teach the kids reading and math, but somehow expe...
[ Reply | Options ]I know a LOT of 4 yo boys who have gone through this, my own son, included. They do grow out of it, and, in some part, I believe it's because other kids stop putting up with it and start ignoring them. It doesn't mean you shouldn't try to curb it on your own though. I would definitely tell the best friend's mom though before she discovers it on her own and gets pissed- just let he know you're working on it. I told the friend's mom that if he acts this way at their house to please shut it down.
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[-]Dear DH: The reason I am always so frustrated & angry with you is because it's like you're another child for me to take care of. I know that's hard to believe, but it's true. I understand that our 2yo wanted those scissors & you were awfully busy reading the paper, but did it not occur to you that perhaps that was a bad idea? I also understand that you work very hard all day -- I can really commiserate because I also have a job outside the home -- but do you not think getting the kids in bed takes priority over your iPhone? I can see how you thought the housework gets done all by itself because it's always so nice & neat around here, but honestly, the cleaning fairy doesn't really exist. These are hard truths to face, but I think you'r...
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I sympathize. I could have written this myself - makes me so resentful and frustrated. I express how I'm feeling all the time, and he improves for about a week, and then it's like Groundhog Day.
[ Reply | Options ]np: I agree! Sometimes I am so angry and resentful bc things just get done for him - I try to leave his clothes on the floor or whatever, but really why should I live in a mess, so I just clean up after him... I complain and he is the best for a while, then back to the same old routine....
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make peace with reality. You probaby aren't going to change your dh, so you're wasting a lot of energy getting angry
[ Reply | Options ]I understand what you're saying in theory - and I do tell myself this, but then I feel like I'm settling, and that upsets me in a different capacity. It's frustrating to be married to someone who doesn't pull his weight, and while making peace with it would be great, in some ways it wouldn't, because then it still leaves me with the bulk of the burden of doing everything.
[ Reply | Options ]OP: ITA! Contributing to the running of the household and actual parenting is required of both parents. I wrote this post because I thought it was a better outlet than just stewing in my anger at my DH this morning. I refuse to be some nagging wife that isn't heard or respected, so the only reality that's needs making peace with is for DH to recognize and understand that this is how it's going to be.
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It's the iphone thing and the reading the paper thing. I don't really mind doing the bulk of the cleaning, I reconciled that a while ago, but I hate hearing half a sentence while he is distracted by his phone or seeing him ignore the children while he reads. I have become the nagging wife though and I am soooo angry all the time. (new poster btw)
[ Reply | Options ]OP: It seems there are many of us with iPhone and reading addicts! Sure, there are worse things, but it's heart breaking and maddening to have Daddy Distracto when we really just want them to interact with the kids and lend a hand once in awhile. I jokingly said to my DH that in case he didn't realize it, the sweaty woman on bended knee scrubbing the floors is actually his wife and did it make him feel good to see her that way? He looked sad for a minute and then took out the garbage.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm the OR from above. I couldn't agree more. I can deal with everything else, but the half-conscious DH due to iPhone/computer is my breaking point. Just today, I said to him, while going into other room to get something for the dcs, "Please watch them for a second, they're playing on the couch." Not TWO seconds later, dd is screaming b/c she fell off of it. I come back, he's in front of the computer, I make a comment, and he says, "What? It's not like I can stop them from jumping off the couch." WTF??? You COULD if you paid attention to what they're actually doing!!! What's the point of having an adult around if you're not present enough to watch them? Times this by about 5 times a day, and that's our life.
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my dh is under tons of stress and works long hours so i really appreciate it that he tries to make time for dc. yes, it sometimes bugs me that he never wipes a single crumb from the counter or a single hair from the sink and expects the dishwasher to load itself. but i try to let it go. sounds like your sitch is different, though. gl.
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[-]What's fun for us to do in NYC with 5 y/o that's not expensive? (Besides going to a playground). has anyone see that new kids movie j51?
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[-]What NYC restaurant would you go to for Thanksgiving dinner with a 3 year old boy?
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[-]what should i pay our nanny to stay overnight when my husband and I are away? and what about to stay over and work for a weekend while we're away? we have two children (currently six months and almost three years).
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[-]Looking up some old posts about preschools in westchester - particularly Elmwood in White Plains. Most seem very favorable but a while back someone called Elmwood a "Pressure cooker". What does that mean and does anyone know how it is now?
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[-]What are the boarding schools close to NYC that are good? Which are good but not all that well known?
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[-]When do sibling applicants hear about kindergarten? Not sure that my ds will get in and very nervous.
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]If you applied through Early Notification then you hear sometime in December or January. If you're so nervous, what's the matter? Why can't you talk candidly with the AD. If you're nervous, maybe the school isn't the right fit for the next child. I have three dc in three different schools. Sure it's a lot of work, but I care that they have the right place for themselves. I get so annoyed with selfish parents who just want expedience and don't look at other schools for second, third and fourth kids. Did you even bother to apply to another school or two? Take the tour?
[ Reply | Options ]I hear that schools are trying to admit more only children from older parents so they won't have so many difficult sibling cases.
[ Reply | Options ]The dumbest kids in my ds class are siblings. Schools should take kids who merit the spots and not stupid siblings. Would help for development too.
[ Reply | Options ]Dinging sibs is surely *not* good for development! It just makes families angry.
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Our #3 was dinged, with 99erbs, 2nd round hunter scores, and with what our psd was such a good school report, she did not think it was worth applying elsewhere. So we didn't, and ended up having to scramble. Sometimes there is just not enough space, we were not big donors, just kind of unimportant people.
[ Reply | Options ]OMG I can't even imagine how upset you must have been, assuming this post is real (and I really want to believe it isn't).
[ Reply | Options ]Sadly, it is real, and while dc is very happy now at another school, I feel unwelcome at the school now, and I used to be very involved. I feel like they do not like us, and it is hurtful for younger one to now come along to school functions etc. Raises questions I do not want him to deal with at such a young age.
[ Reply | Options ]wow... that is a really awful position that the school put your family in!! I just hope it works out better for your 3rd in the long run. I can totally see how it now colours the experience for you/your elder two DCs too. We are applying out this year with our 1st but your post makes me very nervous for #2/3 in a couple of years!
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There are so many sibs in my ds class that there is barely room for any new families in the school. Agree that sibs tend to be the weakest in the class and the parents get really clannish.
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neither. just make sure your child gets plenty of rest and read to them a lot and analyze stories and pictures
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[-]ps 87 or ps 166? Which is better? Do either have extra teachers in the classroom?
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[-]Any Brooklyn Friends moms on? How do you like it? Saw it last week and it seemed really nice, but looking for btdts about experience there and how it compares to other schools in Brooklyn or downtown (like, LREI, or Friends, etc). TY!
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]tell us more about your child, age, gender, interests, and I will try to provide helpful info about BFS (btw you don't need to give exact age, I am interested in whether you are looking at lower school, middle, or high, for example). I would not recommend the high school (or perhaps even the middle) to a very high scoring dc. In my experience BFS is not the best place for such students. I have known high scoring kids who were underachievers there, and had to go elsewhere to have their talents or abilities recognized or nurtured.
[ Reply | Options ]IMO the lower school is better for girls than for boys, for example, there is a lot of time sitting and in recent years very young boys were given no recess (but lunch) until after 1 PM, and guess what, there were behavior issues with large numbers of the boys! Surprise, surprise! Last year in one lower school classroom about half the boys in that class left the school for other schools (public as well as private though, so some might have been financially motivated)
[ Reply | Options ]this year the lower school class day was made LONGER with earlier arrival times, to accommodate more foreign language instruction. Why can't they make it longer to add more recess?
[ Reply | Options ]OP, here: we have a dd, applying for K with very high erb. Thinking that there are other schools that might be better for her, but it did seem like a nice school, but because I know so little about it, wondered what current parents thought, etc. I couldn't quite get a handle on the curriculum while on the visit, either.
[ Reply | Options ]It is a really nice school. Honestly, you don't see many BFS parents on here, but the school is an incredibly warm environment. When you go, notice how polite the kids are, even the middle school kids. Always hold the doors, etc. They have good science and art and my son was an early reader (started really reading at 4) and they have kept him totally challenged and engaged.
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OP, I'd take everything you read on this board with a grain of salt. To add another perspective, we are at lower school with a boy and really love BFS, as do every other boy's parents I know.
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