[-]WOHMs, how much of your net salary goes towards childcare? This is not a bash WOHMS in disguise; we are new to NYC and trying to figure out a reasonable budget.
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Well, I work at home when my baby is sleeping, and I'm just debating whether it is worthwhile to pay for childcare, which is why I asked.
[ Reply | Options ]its an evolving thing. when your baby is more mobile and naps less, this plan may not work as well as now. also if you get more work or have more time pressure it might not work.
[ Reply | Options ]That's exactly the position I'm in now... I'm a writer operating under deadlines and I'm now working at night till 11 or 12 to get a job done--but childcare would obviously take a huge chunk of my income. I have other children in school too, and so I can't work at night until they're settled, which isn't usually till around 9. I guess I just need to suck it up and pay for childcare.
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i did this estimate based on my child going to a private school, and me paying nanny for afternoons etc (I'm single parent and wohm), it's a whopiing $60,000 net! Or about $25,000 for childcare. It depends on the age of your child and whether they are in preschool. You need to sit down and work out how many hours a week you need the nanny for. Most people don't take into account how many days the schools are closed for, they actually only oeprate for about 35 weeks a year, which leaves about 15 weeks of fulltime childcare for you to cover as well as school costs and afternoon care. Also, you need to cover nanny's holidays and bonus.
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Please advise. Possible relocation from downtown NYC. Looking to spend 1 to 2.5 M for a home in Palm Beach County. Prefer an upscale area with unique, historic (restored) single family homes versus condos or brand new construction Mc Mansions. Looking for good schools, restaurants, shopping, beach club. Love Palm Beach but worry it is too old for young families? Also, any info on St. Andrews or Pine Crest or other private school in the area?
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[-]Please comment on the dinner menu below-- need some help: firstcrudite, stuffed mushrooms. appetizer 2. mini chicken wellingtons 3. main- french roast with balsamic reduction, chimmichurri grilled chicken, side: spinach salad either w pear dressing and pears/apples or with grapefruit dressing, grapefruit and cranberries, brown rice w carmelized shallots, baked acorn squash 4. dessetr tbd. i apreciate your help
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[-]dh wants a big party for his 40th- suggestions for a party that wont cost more than 5K?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Big as in big deal or big as in big numbers of people? If big numbers of people, then keep it to a cocktail party for a short period of time in a new restaurant that wants business on off hours. We did that for a christening where we had about 70 people and did the whole thing for $4200
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There may be some restaurants, esp. in EV, LES that you could do full dinner and drinks (or at least wine/beer) for that number of people for that price, it just coming up with one with the right space. I would look into Gnocco, L'il Frankies, Cafe Charbon. You might have to go up by about $10 per head though.
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[-]I grew up in Manhattan but this is part of the reason that I am scared of staying: my niece is in private school and having her Bat Mitzvah and she is bummed that she is not having it at the Plaza, Piere or a night club like all of her friends. Ugh.
57 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I went to 2 bar/bat mitzvahs in the last few years in NYC and both were extremely low key lunches afterward with some music (not live) for kids to dance. But, both were public school kids -- that's why I am wary of private school for my dcs.
[ Reply | Options ]It is a matter of class. My dc is at private and we just did a luncheon after the service. No smoke machines, etc...
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I have a story for that. Grew up near Jappy suburb and a boy in my hebrew school class was wealthy - his parents through an outrageous (for those days) fancy Bar Mitzvah. He sat there and sulked the whole time and told us, "This is all for my parents. They are just showing off. I didn't want any of this." I was actually very impressed that he said that! Before that I thought he was a spoiled brat. He was embarassed by the opulence of his parents.
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Aren't Sweet Sixteen parties like this too? And Quinceaneras (sp?)? Basically, any party thrown for a child whose parents want to indulge/buckle under the pressure... I find it sadder though in Bat/Bar Mitzvot because of the religious symbolism (becoming responsible under Jewish law, an adult, so to speak)... To each their own.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm in scarsdale and not at that age yet, but I hear things like that go on here too, as well as low-key bar mitzvahs.....as I'm sure there are in Manhattan as well. It really has NOTHING at all to do with WHERE you live. It's all about the parents and there are overindulgent parents everywhere.
[ Reply | Options ]All kids/families are different. We went to one at Central years ago and there were 2 girls being bat mitzvahed. The one we were there for was in a tea length Laura Ashley dress, and the other was in a glittery mini-dress of some sort. I'm sure this 2nd girl's party was very different from the one we attended.
[ Reply | Options ]WASP here. have attended many Jewish wedding. All pretty tasteful, no matter how much/little they cost. The Bat/Bar Mitzvahs I've attended are another story. All vulgar as hell. And yes, WASPs do tacky too.
[ Reply | Options ]WASP with Jewish DH here: Flame away, but the Bar/Bat Mitzvah party thing was a pretty significant factor in my not wanting to raise DCs Jewish. Some great lower key suggestions here that I'd go for, but the norm in the city still seems to be tacky beyond belief and I can't get past being appalled by it. Knew my ILs would push for a huge party so figured, why even go there?
[ Reply | Options ]that's sick. Anyway your kids aren't jewish because you aren't. What an awful thing to say and a ridiculous reason not to raise kids jewish. Absurd actually
[ Reply | Options ]you have no clue about being jewish. taking the bar/bat mitzvah is studying the history, the culture, the striving, the things that have been overcome and the inspiration. perhaps if you had decided to study judaism yourself, you might have an understanding of the beauty of the faith. and guess what - it's the parents that pay for and decide the festivities and that's where the bar/bat mitzvah child learns about compromise and values and meaning.
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This is not Manhattan's fault. This is her parents fault. There are kids like that all over the world.
[ Reply | Options ]ITA- I moved here from northern FL (essentially the south) and even though people there didn't have the money of Manhattanites, they sure had the snobbery. In fact, I think that people in Manhattan are generally more accepting of "income diversity" than the crowd I ran with in northern FL.
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I am not happy about crazy over the top BM but I'm more worried about all the sexual things that go on. Not sure if I'd send my dd to her friends' BMs when the time comes. I don't think I would let her go unless moms are also invited to chaperone (myself, not other permissive parents). But worried dd will be ostracized if I don't let her go.
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[-]ok- just heard the dumbest name for my friend's new baby-- Clementine. They are calling her Clemmy! yuck
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[-]On third glass of wine. This is the best I've felt all day. How pathetic is that?!?
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My European "Opa" taught me to drink Rhine Wine at 8 y/o (just a shot glass) while we played cards. DH & I enjoy wine every night and we're 50 with no ill effects. Healthy, prosperous and raisinf three great dcs. I don't feel pathetic nor should you unless the third glass bleeds into the second bottle etc.
[ Reply | Options ]OK, OK, only kidding about "the prob" comment. Actually, I wish I had someone to share 3 glasses of vino myself
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[-]OK, I'm reading all the Manhattan private preschool posts and I just get it. I didn't grow up in Manhattan and don't have a kid in preschool there. But what's the big deal? They're 3! Why should they be subjected to all that testing and pressure? Why are people worried that schools are judging their kids because they're shy or their parents aren't well dressed enough? Are those the kinds of screwed up values you want your kids to learn anyway?
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[-]fashion moms: must haves, a few pieces for now. My clothes aer outdated and ill-fitting? need a few itmems - what are some staples and maybe one or 2 trendy items? TIA. i am 39.
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I usually start collecting more pertinent data by now, in order to help out: What height,body type,coloring,budget,profession/lifestyle-and a few others. My partner insists I need to quit mini-blogging on UB, as this is part of how I maintain my livelihood. I did set the template, so I'll be watching this post for what you get...
[ Reply | Options ]5'6. thin - semi professional office - do not need business suits by any means - live in jeans on weekends. but feel gross every day - makuep all new.
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I recommended Daryl K(Bond St bet Lafayette&Bowery)on another thread. Go for a ride and check her out.Each piece has cut,quality and polish w/a very sublte rock aesthetic.It seems it's all very affordable right now. btw-Maria Cornejo/Zero opened her newer shop around the corner on Bleeker(Lafayette&Bowery).I'd recommend stopping in there, too.
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Looking at Heschel for pre-K next year. Anyone have first-hand knowledge of the academics there? With dual curriculum, I have some concerns that secular subjects will not be as rigorous. It's n-12 so I'm thinking particularly about later grades. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
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[-]The Great Spelling Test Debate. If the spelling test has a section where you have to use one of the spelling words in a sentence, and you mis-spell the word in the test and in the sentence, but the word is used correctly in the sentence (albeit misspelled), should you get credit for the sentence or not?
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]No. It's a spelling test. If it's not spelled right, then it's not grammatically correct, either.
[ Reply | Options ]If it's also a vocabulary test and the sentence needs to prove that the student understands the word, I could see giving partial credit. But if it's only a spelling test and it's misspelled, then no.
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[-]Did anyone else see a post (posted tonight) from a DH about getting space for a UB get-together with some email address? It's now gone....was it deleted or am I being singled out? Just because I am paranoid doesn't mean someone isn't out to get me...
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Yes, it was deleted. I posted it, and now its gone. I wasn't trying to GET the location of the event. I am trying to make the get together happen by GIVING a location and getting folks to organize the event. There was nothing spammy about it. I didn't want to post my email address. So, I posted a temp forwarding address. My earlier post containing that address (search "committee") is still up.
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[-]Did anyone put their kindergartener on a bus to go to/from school instead of doing a personal drop off/pick up? I'm afraid of having no contact at all with the teachers if we end up at a totally unconvenient school. Did it matter in terms playdates? Both my dh and I work so our nanny was doing drop off / pick up for nursery school but she won't be able to do it for kindergarden unless we und up at a school that's close to us b/c of child #2. Thanks.
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]We do. To be honest, we don't do playdates with school friends except the occasional weekend, and I do feel fairly disconnected from the school, but I don't see either of these as negatives. If we need to contact the teacher, we do it through email and get a quick response, but we barely do that.
[ Reply | Options ]We do (we go to Nest). It's unfortunate that we don't have that contact with the school, but in all honesty, K is a lot different from preschool -- you drop off outside and are not allowed in the bldg. So, yes, if we took DC to school we'd see other parents, but we wouldn't see the classroom anyway. As for playdates, the kids come from all over the city, so it's not as easy to make playdates, but we still manage to see friends on weekends (whether in Brooklyn, Queens or Manhattan). During the week, there's so much activity that I don't feel DC needs constant playdates. So, I think it works just fine, but if this is a priority for you, then you don't have to apply to schools that are further away. There are probably lots of great opti...
[ Reply | Options ]k isn't like preschool. the schools don't really let the parents hang around and bug the teachers at pick up and drop off.
[ Reply | Options ]I did. I drove for the first few weeks and after that she went on the bus. The school has lots of opportunities for parent involvement and visitation. Also, they're great with emails and calls. BUT, her preschool--where I did daily drop off and pick up was worse with communication and even though I was there daily, I have more insight now. So bottom line, mode of transportation doesn't matter. School communication style does.
[ Reply | Options ]we did, very far from school - you have to be well regimented and resign yourself that the child will have two sets of friends - those the child goes to school with and those the child does activities/sports with - just the way it is for us and couldn't be better situation for us.
[ Reply | Options ]yes, both kids. parent visiting in many schools in K plus lots of time to do stuff in classroom, go on field trips, etc. Feel like it made no difference--perhaps a little more effort on my part to go to things and make those calls/emails to parents but seriously, made no difference.
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, my kindergartener goes on a bus. I e-mail teachers (the school is private) and see them at evening functions, etc. There is also an interactive website to monitor homework, etc. I started doing the pickup but it was so fraught with taking care of my other kids too that it wasn't worth it--and I didn't interact with anyone (kids, teachers, etc) anyway--it was more of a grab 'em and go situation.
[ Reply | Options ]Our son takes the bus to and from school. We communicate with the teachers a lot--she will call or send home a note if there is anything to say, and we get a newsletter at least once a week. There are a lot of kids from our neighborhood that attend the school, so playdates have not been a problem. The bus makes our lives so much easier!
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