[-]My mommy friend asked if I could pick up her son from school - she has swine flu. I asked my nanny - after hesitating and hissing, she said OK. Then, mommy friend called and said she wasn't taking him in at all, she was too sick. I said I will take him! Asked nanny if she would do it, she said no. I had to leave work, run to get him and drop him off. Thoughts?
87 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Why would you volunteer your nanny to drop off the child when she barely agreed to pick him up? She was nice to agree to the first half--it is not part of her normal duties, and how would you like your employer telling you to go expose yourself to swine flu? It sounds like you are treating her more like a slave than an employee. If you want to help your friend, great, but I think you should be willing to do it yourself (and not ask your nanny to brave the flu).
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The flu part is total bullshit. She had MY KID at a play date, where the other kid had swine flu three days later. She also babysat someone else on Saturday, and the kid has swine flu. Her sisters kid has swine flu. She is beyond exposed to swine flu. The kid she was supposed to be picking up had swine flu two weeks ago, and now the mom has it. You seriously don't think nannies should help out and be somewhat willing when asked to do something not in their regular routine?
[ Reply | Options ]but you asked. and she said no. you could have given a direct order, but obviously you didn't want to use one up.
[ Reply | Options ]that is my question - do you give a direct order to a nanny on something like this? Or do I walk on eggshells for the rest of my life with her? I think when she realized I was leaving work to grab the kid, she could have a least hissed louder and said, "FINE, I'll take him". She totally inconvenienced me, and it would have not been a big deal AT ALL for her to walk a couple of extra blocks and grab him.
[ Reply | Options ]direct order? you are not in the military. it is not part of her job. you asked and she said no.
[ Reply | Options ]Yes I do, in a polite way. As is: "Please pick up John from school, b/c his Mom is not well and asked for help". It's one-off and I expect my nanny from time to time to do (reasonable) things that are not part of the regular routine. She's not a slave, but she's my employee and I pay for her time. Personally, I'd have a talk with my nanny if she did what the OP's nanny did.
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I agree potentially being exposed to swine flu is a good point. But to the other point: how is it not her job to do a favor her employer asked her to, once. She is not a slave, she is an employee.
[ Reply | Options ]I wonder if her employer is so nonchalant about asking her to do this, though--and shocked that she refused--what other "favors" her employer asks her to do. I have no idea what is going on in this situation, obviously, but there are many unreasonable employers (as well as employees).
[ Reply | Options ]I ask her to do nothing. She stopped taking out the garbage months ago, I never said a word. She now leaves her dirty dishes in the sink, I let it go. She comes late 3 times a week, at least. I have had her for 6 years, and she has been good, but she is pissing me off every single day more and more. Today's incident makes my blood boil - not because she should have said, "of course, anything you say", but she literally walked out and said, she was not going.
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I think she's beyond the expiration date. Being a nanny is a boring and repetitive job with no career path. It always comes a point when performance deteriorates and it's the beginning of the end. For some nannies is 2 years, others 4, but the time always come. Time to let her go.
[ Reply | Options ]How do I do it? Now? My kids will be accounted for in June from 8-3. Do I wait until then, or do this now. Please help.
[ Reply | Options ]This is a bit of a tricky one, as you'd have to hire someone only for a few months. If I was you, I'd let her know that you are not happy with her performance any more. That you expect her to do X, Y, Z (and that includes trash and dirty dishes). You can start with "You know that we love you very much, BUT ....". Chances are that you'll notice a short term improvement, then back to where you are, at which time you repeat. It may take you to the early Summer. From what you say, she's paid well and has tons of vacation. Unlikely she'll leave you. I'd also start doing spot checks, so that she understands she has to be on her best behaviour all the time.
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Slave??? Oh please. She is overpaid, has the cushiest job, and I think should not have an attitude when I ask her for a favor, that would not be a big deal for her. Seriously, you think SLAVE???
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How generous of you to want to exposure your nanny who has the swine flu. I think her response was completely appropriate.
[ Reply | Options ]ITA, what would you do if you nanny actually got the flu and had to be out of work for two weeks, you might actually have to do something for yourself, weird!
[ Reply | Options ]She gets six weeks vacation. I would take off if she was sick - it's not a big deal. She had "back problems" a few months ago and was out for 10 days. It worked out perfectly between me, my husband and my in-laws. What are you suggesting, I don't do anything myself? I do HER dishes, and take out HER trash.
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I can see why your nanny did not want to get near the mom with swine flu. That said, I am surprised you guys couldn't reach a compromise, like the kid coming downstairs himself so your nanny didn't need to go into the apartment.
[ Reply | Options ]The swine flu mom was waiting on the corner - outside the building!!! I would never have her go upstairs to the swine flu apartment!!! This was purely about her being a lazy ass, and not wanting to be inconvenienced, and not wanting to help me.
[ Reply | Options ]you sound pretty bitchy. you do have to wonder why she doesn't want to help you...
[ Reply | Options ]I might sounds bitchy, because I am furious the more I think about this and justify it to all of you - you should see it for what it is - she completely defied me, did not give a shit about telling me to go F myself. I do everything for this women - there should have been a better negotiation, she chose to simply say NO.
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I am obviously furious about this, but am I over-reacting!!! Was her response seriously appropriate to me? Do I get rid of her or look back at the past six years and shut up and be happy?
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NP: You committed her to doing something that isn't in her job description without asking her first. Wouldn't you be annoyed if your boss did that to you?
[ Reply | Options ]I did not commit her. I ASKED her if she would do it. She said no. Then I did it myself. I never said, "DO THIS". I said, "can you do me a huge favor and please help so and so, who is really sick, it is only two blocks out of your way", walk-on-eggshells, mousey, mousey, beg beg, etc.
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I have worked as a nanny, so I've dealt with plenty of crazy moms, *but* if what you're saying is all true--and you're not exaggerating--it seems like you probably need a new nanny. it was nice of you to offer to help out the sick mom. have you had other problems with this nanny?
[ Reply | Options ]I have been having a lot of problems with her lately. So tell me, do nannies, like everyone, simply get burnt out? After six years, is she just done? Little by little, the things she used to do are slowly no more.
[ Reply | Options ]I think she probably is burnt out, because if she didn't have a bad attitude when you hired her, it has developed. Maybe you need to lay her off? If your DCs are older now, you might want to get a college student or someone younger--he she may not be a great cook or do laundry, but by being 20 or 22 years old, lets most things just roll off.
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Wow, thats the way you speak about someone who has cared for your children for 6 years? She couldn't of been all that bad if you have kept her on all this time-or were just too lazy to search for someone new...therefore subjecting your children to subpar care all this time. I dont even think this is a Nanny/mom issue anymore...it sounds like you dont respect her and she doesnt respect you and on some level you both enjoy pissing each other off. If your children are in school all day maybe you could look for other options-like an afterschool program until you can pick them up. This isnt healthy to walk around resentful all day. As for the swine flu issue-you dont really want to take the chance for this to be brought into your home infect...
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BTDT after about 4.5yrs with our last nanny. She simply got burnt out. She was amazing for 4 years - really the best. Then she wasn't anymore. Started being late, not getting basic things done, hitting me up for more and more money. It was obvious she was ready to move on. It was hard for me, but somehow I was able to move past the anger and part on good terms for my kids' sake. Though honestly she really, really took advantage and was inappropriate and dishonest at the very end. But she was amazing, kind, loving, and reliable for 4yrs. That meant a lot. Burn out is common in this fiield and it's easier to accept that than take it personally. That said, I would give her a nice severance, part amicably, but not give her a glowing reference f...
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You cannot cross-train if you are firing someone. Also, how old are your kids? If they are school-aged, you don't really need to "train"--nanny will learn about how your dishwasher works or what DD needds to bring to soccer practice.
[ Reply | Options ]Back up a minute here, OP. Your original posting said other mommy asked YOU to pick up other kid. Then YOU volunteered to do so. Nowhere in there do I read what you really MEANT was you would volunteer someone else to do the job YOU volunteered to do. Get off your nanny's back. Take responsibility for what you said YOU were going to do.
[ Reply | Options ]YES - I said "I" would do it. And then I asked my nanny, who sits around all day not taking out my garbage and doing my dishes, or laundry, as she once did, if she could walk two blocks out of her way to help a mommy friend who is very sick, and help ME given I work to pay her to sit around. I DID then leave my job, my office and spent $40 on cabs to get the kid to school, and she knew that was what I was doing, and still left. She could have helped me. I hate her more and more after fighting with all of you here and just re-hashing this total bull shit. Thankfully, one or two of you understand, so thank you.
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I found someone via employer posted ad on craigslist, but in between trialed two people who were not a good fit. yes, we cross-trained because we did not fire our nanny of 4.5yrs. We had a heart-to-heart and agree that things were not working and we wanted to part as friends (she still sits for us occasionally now 2yrs later). Kids are 2, 7, 9yo. this was just after birth of our 3rd dc which was a big factor - old nanny really did not want to do the baby thing again. We did not "need" to have a crossover, but it was certainly a lot nicer for the kids and our new nanny to understand the whole situation honestly.
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I think you and your nanny are trapped in some strange, dysfunctional power struggle where she hates working for you but doesn't quit and you don't fire her because you like all the drama and complaining to your "mommy friends" about the latest nanny crisis. And it can't be healthy for your kids.
[ Reply | Options ]I have no idea, based on your OP or replies, why you continue to employ this nanny - whom you obviously dislike, distrust, and resent. In addition, you feel she is grossly overpaid, underworked, lazy, unpleasant, has a poor work ethic, and a bad attitude. Regardless of her tenure or your perceived attachement of your dc, you have given ZERO reason for continuing to employ this woman beyond poor judgment on your part.
[ Reply | Options ]You were very wrong asking your nanny to potentially expose herself; she your nanny, not your handmaiden. Show more respect for her wishes. If I were a nanny, you would never be my employer.
[ Reply | Options ]oh please, those of you who feel sorry for this nanny - you are obviously nannies yourself, not employers of nannies, and have ridiculously high expectations for how your employer should treat you - NP was completely within her rights to request that her nanny do this for her, and the nanny has a bad attitude and probably should work elsewhere
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Here is the thing. You are not happy with someone working for you who you were happy with for a long time. Is she slacking? Are you expecting too much? WHO KNOWS but it is time to part ways in a way that is kind and respectful to both of you. Let her go as soon as you are able to -- can you line up after-school daycare or some other option for the time being? OR can you talk to her about some of the probelms you two seem to be having?
[ Reply | Options ]These replies are sad - HAVE you never needing a helping hand? This mother was kind enough to offer her nanny to help a mother in need to get her child to school. My nanny often runs personal errands while my kids are in school - while I would not ask her to " keep" someone's child I expect her to pick them up or drop them off when someone needs a favor. If my nanny said "no" Id be so upset - we often help our nanny too and it must go both ways!
[ Reply | Options ]I can't believe the answers that I am reading here. Yes, when hired, there were certain expectations set regarding responsibilities. However, being flexible once in a while is not too much to ask. Picking up a friend is no big deal as long as she does not have to babysit the kid for a long period of time. If I am asked at work to do something that is outside of my day to day duties, yet i can do and it's similiar to my day to day responsibilities, I wouldn't even imagine saying no. Would expect the same of my nanny as it is just as much of a job as anything else.
[ Reply | Options ]You can't believe that there can be two points of view? Why do you assume that yours is the right one and mine is not? My nanny would have the right to say no in this case and I would not be surprised, hurt, or disappointed. Yours, I assume, would not and you expect her to do the favor for you. Neither one of us is right or wrong here. I would just not do it the way you would do it.
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I think your nanny had a right to say "no", you have a right to expect more. You have to sit down and talk and see if you both are on the same page. If you expect a nanny to be flexible and step in and she doesn't want to or she thinks how dare you had asked her that, you have to part your ways and move on.
[ Reply | Options ]I don't know... I just don't think it is right to commit anyone to doing something without checking with them first. It just doesn't seem respectful. I realize you are the employer and she is the employee but she still deserves some modicum of respect. Then, when you throw in the possibility of swine flu exposure, it seems even less respectful. Just a mom weighing in...
[ Reply | Options ]I would start looking for new nanny. Make sure next one understands job description includes occasionaly asking for help with respect to friends' children. I happen to agree with you that asking her was completely appropriate. I think her response sounds insolent. She is your employee and she is not respecting you.
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By my housekeeper. Because I told her I wanted her to clean my blinds more carefully. She did this hours before my in-laws arrived to meet their 3 week old grand-daughter. I was in the street, in a robe, begging her to stay. Now, a year later, and having hired a better and nicer housekeeper who does a great job with my blinds, I say: Good riddance!
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[-]I want to share the wonderful experience my family had with the Dream Team - baby sleep consultants! The consultant who worked with our family has her PHD with an additional degree in infant sleep. The knowledge and expertise she provided our family are invaluable. Within 5 nights our son went from waking several times throughout the night to sleeping 12 hours. He wakes up with a big smile on his face and is more well rested now than he ever has been. I highly recommend The Dream Team!
22 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]this is interesting - i was just saying to someone that i never wanted a baby nurse for a newborn, but w my 8 mo i would really like a baby nurse to come teach him how to sleep!
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or: while i don't like spam on this site, otoh, it often brings your attention to business just like an ad would. and while i'm not one to try things just bc of spam OR an ad, i do think it's funny that i was half joking about paying someone to sleep train db and low and behold, apparently there IS someone who will do that! don't have the cash to actually pay for someone to do this, but still interesting to me that someone thought of it.
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why is it that americans, particularly NYers, are so obsessed with consultants? from college admission consultants to job consultants to corporat consultants? people seem to lack the common sense and can't step up to the plate when making decisions on their own. sometimes, all it takes is to spend a few hrs on research together with your common sense to take your own lead. phds are so overrated..
[ Reply | Options ]LOL What is a degree in infant sleep???? From the University of Sleepology? This is total spam.
[ Reply | Options ]Listen, anytime someone posts about how they wanted to "share the wonderful experience" they had with any company, we all KNOW it's SPAM.
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I have my PhD (no add'l degree in infant sleep) and I got my db to sleep 11 hours in two nights. No charge!
[ Reply | Options ]Isn't this a repeat of the SPAM-a-nella from last week? But in the post, the OP was trying to pretend they were an actual mom to a 7 month old baby.
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[-]I posted before about pulling ds out of preschool. Since then we've found a school for him to go a few days a week and have started some OT etc. He's very active and does well when he's doing a lot. Is it too much to have him in 3 different sports classes (swimming, soccer etc.) plus the few hours a day at the preschool and OT?
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[-]Greeting all (attempt #2...) I need some advice! I've been a Special Ed teacher and Behavior Coach for 20 years. I LOVE what I do and seem to be pretty good at it (please tolerate my bragging and let me say I was given two awards for outstanding service) Anyway, lately I have found myself more and more upset at the entire public school system (I could rant for hours...) But had one particularly bad situation where I REALLY let a student down (she really needed to talk to me, and being overwhelmed (200 students a day, meetings, parents calling, paperwork,) I forgot all about our meeting and left for the day. Without going into details, she had a very serious issue to deal with, and trusted me enough to ask for help. I'm having a hard time ge...
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[-]Considering taking 3yo ds to have picture with Santa at macys. Is there enough going on to distract him while we wait in the line? What day/time is best? Stupid to attempt?
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]The Santa at ABC Carpet on Broadway and 19th Street is perfect! No line, friendly, and beautifully photographical!
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I did it for the first time with then almost 3 yr old dd and the line was soooooo long but there were lots of displays to distract her and she just loved it, kept talking about it for weeks. My mother also took me every year when I was young so I guess I think of it as an annoying tradition I'll do every year as long as I'm still living here.
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[-]Anyone else have a difficult sister situation? How do you deal with it? My sister is older than me, not married, and very hostile to me a lot of the time. I think she may be depressed. she calls me when she is sick, lonely, etc. but rarely comes to see us (she lives in a different state). I want her to be more involved with my kids and am disappointed she doesn't seem to care. WWYD?
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]She's probably sick with jealousy of you and your family life. I wouldn't expect her to be involved with your kids.
[ Reply | Options ]She also did not want to be in my wedding party. I am hoping by now she would just get over it. She has no idea how difficult my life is nor does she seem to care. Very involved in licking her own wounds.
[ Reply | Options ]Sounds like she's just not that into you. I don't mean that callously, my mom is actually the same way. After years of agonizing and some therapy, I finally learned to accept her as is, not as I want her to be. Doesn't mean it's ok, it's not approval, it's just lowering your own expecations to a reasonable place based on past experience so you aren't continuously disappointed or banging your head against a wall.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: ITA. Once you are an adult, as painful as it is, expecting your relationship with family members to change is just a world of pain. I think it's much easier to adjust your expectations to be more realistic. Then you won't be disappointed all the time. My poor DH has a similar relationship with his dad.
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stop giving her money and stop trying to control this situation. You are obviously the caretaker and letting her use you. Think about what you are getting out of this dysfunctional process. Nothing will change unless you get on top of this and stop the cycle. Look someplace else for the companionship you want.
[ Reply | Options ]ITA. OP, have you thought about talking to someone? Other posters who've said that adult family relationships do not change are onto something. Her happiness is not your responsibility and your primary responsibility is to the present, to your DH, to your DCs, your career. The reason I suggest therapy is that dysfunctional relationships are always two-way streets. Talking to someone can help you figure out why YOU (not only she) are engaged in this cycle and can help you healthily extricate yourself so you can be your best for those in your life who do have a right to depend on you - your children.
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[-]Can anyone tell me if DS has chance at good private with ERB scores that dont reflect his abilities? He is 5, can read, add and subtract multiple digits, but gets bored by tests. His scores seem all over the map, and didn't correspond with the observer's narrative that they provided. narrative said DH was advanced and didnt require a lot of clues to solve problems. Narrative also said DH was more concerned with accuracy of answers than with speed on timed sections. Am afraid schools only look at the numbers. Is this true?
34 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]not to be discouraging, but the narratives are almost always GLOWING. We had the same comment about accuracy vs speed. of course the test at 5yo can be very inaccurate. so take the SB and submit that if it's much better. fwiw, it's tough to get "bored" because the test continues to increase in difficulty if dc can answer everything easily. it was more likely 5yo boy short attention span than boredom from being unchallenged.
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Nearly all narratives are over-the-top positive. And in fact saying he didn't need a lot of clues sounds like tester is saying dc was familiar and therefore possibly prepped. Was he prepped?
[ Reply | Options ]No, he wasnt prepped at all. We didnt prep him - that's for sure. and we wouldnt even know where to send him to be prepped, nor can we afford to do something like that. The ERB is very expensive, which is another reason we are disheartened, b.c we don't want to pay for it again. IS SB equally expnsive?
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67-82-89, but DS can do a lot of other things above grade level. So am not sure why scores didnt reflect what we think he's capable of. it's hard not to feel disheartened. and it's hard not to feel like situation is hopeless given we are a family w.o connections and w.o a lot of disposable income to make us seem more attractive to a school.
[ Reply | Options ]89 is the verbal and 82 is the overall? I don't know what to say except that the school report should supply the info about reading and math and maybe your psd can run interference and make some explanations for you on the ERB.
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, 89 verbal and 82 overall. thanks for the advice. thing is they cant figure it out either because it seems like an anomaly to everyone. DS took the test on a Saturday, and was then absent from school that Mon-Thurs with cold and fever, but he was fine on the day of the test (at least to us - as we would not have let him take it if he weren't 100 percent). DH, who took him to ERB, thought the test examiner looked a bit young. So we thought maybe that has something to do with it? we were surprised by verbal and overall score as he speaks clearly and has a good command of vocabulary - uses multi syllabic words with ease.... i dont know... i feel like i'm trying to make heads of this, and perhaps i shld just wait and see what happens -- whe...
[ Reply | Options ]Sometimes the figures mean squat. Go with your heart. If YOU know your child is smart and enthusiastic about learning, look into Speyer. Maybe he was beginning to get sick, and just felt like being uncooperative that day. It happens. Make sure you look into schools that really take the time to get to know your kid.
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Speyer Legacy School is a new school, opened this year, for "advanced learners." They have a K, and a combined 1/2 this year, and will have 2 Ks, 2 1s and a combined 2/3 next year. No class larger than 18 kids, min. 2 teachers + 2 advisors, tons of adjunct teachers (chess, art, music, etc.) Check out www.speyerlegacyschool.org. Also search UB to read some of the most outrageously vitriolic comments in years. GL.
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you can call the erb office and say that your child was in fact sick that day, plead for a re-test. they might want to send both scores. 89 is a really good score, actually. it's just not good for this ridiculous game of kindergarten. your child is obviously smart, but perhaps not cookie cutter follow the directions type of person. i would rather have your child in class, personally, than an authority pleaser.
[ Reply | Options ]Ok you know what? She said he was fine that day so you can't call and plead for a retest because the kid was sick. Because he wasn't sick. get it? that's lying.
[ Reply | Options ]like i said, i'm not crazy about authority. the whole process is screwy on all sides. obviously the system is failing this child if he is to be judged on this one moment when he wasn't performing up to his ability on command. so, yeah, i don't think it's so bad to come to the conclusion that he wasn't feeling so well at the time, and get him another shot. the rules are arbitrary. you're allowed to take the SAT's twice.
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I don't work in admissions office but it's probably not a good sign even if the kid is super smart but refuses to cooperate or has short attention span or whatever reason there was that produced much lower ERB than he should have produced... Because there are kids who are very advanced who are also very cooperative. Might be an issue at a TT. But non-tt's might be more open to ds. G/L! And, I'd have ds take SB and if it's at least in the mid 90's, I'd submit that.
[ Reply | Options ]Bank Street does not require ERB and might be a good place for kids who get bored by tests.
[ Reply | Options ]how do you know the scores don't reflect his abilities? I don't think any tests at this age are good predictors, but the number of parents who think their children deserve higher scores is very high. Not all children are above average
[ Reply | Options ]the child is really advanced by every measure (reading, math) except that test, so it's reasonable to conclude that his score should have been higher.
[ Reply | Options ]OP: Hi, I looked at my calendar the week after the test was administered (the test was on a Sat) and DH was then absent from school that Mon - Thurs with high fever and cold, though he seemed alright on that Sat, am thinking perhaps he was already coming down with something. ERBs cant be taken in close proximity (date wise) so we have to submit the scores on the day he took it. But i do think it isnt always an accurate predictor of a child's ability. It does measure things outside of achievements (in math, literacy, etc), but i think it provides only a snapshot. My fear is that some schools seem to go by numbers and leave it at that. I do hope I am wrong in this. But yes, he does add, subtract, and is beginning to multiply (basics like the ...
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[-]I snuggle my 4 yo ds to bed every night. I don't want to esp bcse dh travels all the time and it's getting increasingly difficult with 3 dcs. Anyone break the habit? How did you do it? He can't fall asleep anymore without it. AARGH.
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]i have to do this with my 3yo--i am a wohm so I feel like it is nice time well spent--but lord I can't get a damn thing done at night! "mommy lay with me"--how can I not??
[ Reply | Options ]OOOhhhh BTDT. I used a reward chart. He got a star every night that he went to bed on his own. Worked like a charm. He was 4 when we did it. He is a fantastic sleeper now. Always has been but it is easier to have him go to sleep on his own now that I have two younger ones.
[ Reply | Options ]Were the stars enough of motivation or did he get a reward after a sheet filled up or something.
[ Reply | Options ]If he got a full week of stars he got a "you did it" magnet at the end (it is a magnet chart). I told him that if he got three "you did it" magnets, he could trade them for a little toy at the store. Honestly though, I maybe should have just tried without the toy since he was so excited to get those stars and the "you did it" magnet.
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[-]My DD is currently at a private school and we are not thrilled. Applying for first grade transfer. Can someone provide me with information regarding Speyer Legacy? How are the teachers and classes. Is it very academically based? What are the parents like in terms of involvement and friendliness?
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Our school loving kid has never been happier. So much great stuff is happening there.Try to take a tour or book an open house(if any are still happening).It's a small population and so far, it's been very friendly and tight without any weirdlies or exclusivity.
[ Reply | Options ]*weirdlies=crazed,competitive,materialistic adults.We had our radar way up;all was silent.
[ Reply | Options ]I heard the Speyer kids were gonna move the the basement at the special needs school though as of next Fall.
[ Reply | Options ]Not accurate. School will probably move elsewhere, to other building. Definitely contact Speyer. There is an Open House tonight, and I think (not sure) there may be one more. There is room in combined 1/2 class. Parents not weirdoes. Current parents very happy to speak with anyone interested, call the school to be connected. Lots of nay-sayers on this site can be off-putting but Speyer staff and parents are not those people.
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not a spam post just want to explore options. 1st grade entry is not easy so Speyer may be more likely to have availability.
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correct, she is not challenged in her current K. She has been doing math since 3, plays chess and reads. She learns very quickly and her school is not a good fit. She is not challenged and might be more suited for a school that presents other options. That is why there is Hunter, Anderson and schools like Speyer.
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[-]What age do you recommend for sports for young boys? DS is 2, and I was thinking about soccer, or a multi-sport class. Right now he does gymnastics, and it is fabulous for him, but DH wants him to do more balls sports. Not so sure he's really ready though! Anyone btdt?
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]much too early IMO. I mean it's fine if you have money to burn, but it will not provide any actual athletic skills. Just another chance for some socialization, which is fine as long as you know what you are buying. No real benefit of organized sports before 4 or 5yo at the very earliest.
[ Reply | Options ]waaaay too early. Some kids who are active, somewhat coordinated, and fairly mature can handle soccer at 3.5. Many, though, still have trouble at 5.
[ Reply | Options ]Thanks for your advice ladies! We are looking at classes for the Fall, and I just don't think it's worth the money! I'm happy to pay for things I can't give ds at home -- like gymnastics. But we do art and play with balls at home. Practice throwing, kicking, little tykes hoop, even some hockey!
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[-]Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade: If we want to see it on the UWS along CPW with our 5 yo dc, what time should we get there by? TIA.
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[-]This a general question with many variables but how would you rank these three? GHS, ENCS, York Ave preschool and briefly why? Thanks for your input!
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]i would rank them in that order according to prestige, but I would not want to send my child to the garden house school. Its too structured and academic focused for my preferences for a 2-4 yr old.
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York Ave does a great job of preparing kids for kindergarten and their kids do very well, in general, on the ERBs. Because of that, I think their exmissions have been good. But our experience was that the PSD did a great job running the school and planning the curriculum and not so great a job affecting/helping with exmissions. Kids got into good ongoing schools because the kids were smart/verbal/well behaved kids not because the PSD was able to pull any strings. FWIW I think the PSD at ECNS has better connections at the ongoings, and good or bad, is able to work the system re: bartering kids.
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[-]What do you know about Epiphany Community Nursery School? Would love specific feedback from school parents as well as general reputation. Thanks!
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]ECNS is a very nice community. The Director and teachers are very caring. Both my DCs were well prepared for their TT on-going schools.
[ Reply | Options ]Wendy Levy is the director. We are having an average experience. The teachers are good but under Wendy's thumb. She is a dictator who encourages entrance of well intended parents into her revolving fundraising mafia. She rules by fear and bullying. God forbid you become one of her targets. Other nursery directors are much more professional and rise above the gossip Wendy actively enjoys. Wish we had gone to another school and this year is just beginning.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: Can you try to go somewhere else next year? Is she vindictive when it comes time to apply out if you haven't played by her rules?
[ Reply | Options ]I know one family that got a spot late for their daughter but they had already signed the contract w/ECNS. They had a wait list, they claimed, but Wendy completely killed the transfer anyway. This child should be in K, but is doing another year of pre-K because of NSD vindictive nature. Everyone in our class fears finding out, so we do as we're told pretty much...I am an adult and can't believe I am in this situation with the head girls bully from high school...
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np: I swear, i don't understand people who are having this experience there. we had a terrific 3 years, loved the teachers, think wendy is great. yes, it's very much her school, but i certainly don't find her to be a bully! and lots of families have left wo ill will against them - some only come for the 2s year, others go off to preK at an ongoing school, etc. and we were an unconnected family, who were not in a position to donate $ and we never felt that WL held that against us. ongoing process worked out for us too.
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Just did a tour there. Nice classrooms and set up, but has this director not heard the main way H1N1 flu is spread is through hands? She stood outside the classroom and shook each child's hand before they entered the room (put on a show for us?) I wanted to offer my hand sanitizer! My friend's upper school sent a letter explaining staff and faculty were curtailing all hand shaking. This woman isn't thinking of these kids basic health. What next? Off my list.
[ Reply | Options ]Parents are nice, nsd is un-professional, abrasive and often, simply inappropriate in large group settings. Most teachers are good, adequate program, some poor judgment (having children paint a glass of wine to represent passover) Good facility, newer than some TT. Writing was on the wall w regard to nsd, why did I choose this school....unpleasant.
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[-]question: what is the difference between church of the epiphany preschool and epiphany community nursery school. which is better?
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Ephiphany preschool is better. It has been there longer and has a more established reputation. Wendy is the director. Most people love her or hate her. Epiphany community is only a few years old and always seems to have spots. I don't think it is good if you are going private
[ Reply | Options ]your info is all correct except its ECNS that you are talking about/ Epiphany preschool is actually in the church. ECNS is not.
[ Reply | Options ]Having experienced the NSD (Wendy Levy) at ECNS, the nursery school in the church may be better. Wendy's reputation is waning with all the self promotion she has done using the children at her school in a documentary. TT schools won't let a camera in the door and look down on this. Also, the schools want diversity. They let in plenty of kids from "no name" nurseries. Check other listings for candid comments on the director at ECNS. The positive revues seem to be written by staff and die hard loyals. Some of the negative comments seem hard to believe, but I've seen some of her behavior myself over the years. She is not a person I want my children to emulate.
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Epiphany Commnuity Nursery School (ECNS) on 74th east of York, run by Wendy Levey is the better school. Established 30+ years ago. Although Wendy is a controversial figure, she is really hands on with the school (she established it) and works hard for her families and students. Church of the Epiphany Preschool on corner of 74th/York is a newer program.
[ Reply | Options ]Just met Wendy Carter at the Church of the Epiphany nursery school. Huge, sprawling, well lit space, lovely teachers, great energetic director who seems down to Earth and easy to approach. Was not positively impressed with the director at Epiphany Community...shallow as a saucer. Yuck. She also seems rather flippant and ego maniacal. Not great traits in a nsd.
[ Reply | Options ]Older does not equal better in this case. Wendy Levey is an abusive person. We left ecns for greener pastures.
[ Reply | Options ]or: I really do get that some people don't like her, but having put 2 dc through the school (2nd is still there), we really have had a great experience and had no issues with her. And I would say that is the case with 90% of the families there. But I think the 10% that have issues are very vocal about them. The fact is, that 10% of the parent body at any school is digruntled.
[ Reply | Options ]Being disgruntled and being targeted and abused by an egocentric nsd are very different. We have children at other private NYC schools. Neither school would condone or allow the activities Wendy Levy regularly engages in.(yelling at and publicly degrading parents, sending harassing emails, making ridiculous demands) We get along great with the faculty and staff at both ongoings. Wendy Levy is revealed as sorely unprofessional when held up to our ongoings directors.
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