[-]Just emailed 5 friends, that I haven't been in contact with. Its been a wild, busy ride of fertility issues, 2 babies later, a sick Mother and husband. I just feel out of the loop. I feel in social rut....do little ones do this? Good or bad, I'm loving the SAHM pace, but it has sucked me in.
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[-]How did your DH propose? there is no great romantic story here... sort of gave mine an ultimatum.
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At Disneyland during the fireworks. Had a private garden seat so it was just us.
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At the SS seaport, listening to tango music. Me, I was pregnant and bitchy, he was so nervous he almost got cold feet and canceled. Turned out he wanted to the night before and I didn't want to go out because I was too tired (8 weeks pg). We had been dating for about 6 months got married on the anniversary of our first date.
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regret the marriage, regret needing the ultimatum, or regret pushing him into it?
[ Reply | Options ]Regret giving him the ultimatum - repeatedly. We had a DB together and I never pushed for marriage while pregnant. After DB was born, I began asking his thoughts on marriage, he said he would think about it. Finally, after moving out of state with him because of his job relocation, I decided that it was marriage or I'd stay in NY with DB. He said that then was not the time b/c life was too hectic with work, ect. I moved with him and put the ultimatum 6 months later. He finally agreed and we were married 9 months later. Needing to push him to marriage causes me a lot of insecurity despite the fact that he's an amazing father and husband. He still says that he wanted to wait until he was financially stable before getting married, but ...
[ Reply | Options ]that's sad. I understand your feelings. you need to ask yourself what it will take for you to get past it.
[ Reply | Options ]An engagement ring - something signifying a sacrifice on his part sounds good. My DH doesn't spend money on ANYTHING, so this would mean a lot to me.
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No, he's a really good guy, it just takes him a loooong time to make a decision and he's really, really tight with money which causes a lot of marital problems. He has many good qualities which make up for these, but the fact that it took him so long to agree to marriage is still causing me a lot of grief. I don't know how to get over it.
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i went to visit him on a business trip in bangkok about a year and a half into dating. i was napping when he came home from a meeting and he woke me up to ask if i could pass him an adapter that was in the nightstand drawer. i was really cranky and pissed that he would wake me up for something he could do himself, and then of course, there was the ring.
[ Reply | Options ]Carl Schurz Park- I was eating chicken wings. Not very romantic, but he said the ring was burning a hole in his pocket.
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DH had my doorman deliver a package to me - it was a card that said open the package and come downstairs. the package was a calligraphy certificate of a star he named "x, will you marry me? love, y". i came downstairs and he dropped to a knee and proposed in front of a horse and buggy - which took us for a ride into central park with champagne.
[ Reply | Options ]we were having sex. after an almost conversation about marriage, when he changed the topic. oh well, i thought, as we were obviously never getting married. Then he slipped the ring on my finger. of course not the story we tell others LOL
[ Reply | Options ]On the balcony of our lovely hotel in the Caribbean. We had just checked in and I was lounging on a recliner, watching the sunset and he kneeled next to me and asked me something random, and after I answered he said - ok, I have one more question for you. And there was the ring and he was on one knee...There were huge 4ft tall roses in the room and chilled champagne
[ Reply | Options ]horse carriage ride in central park to tavern on the green (where we went on our first date). I knew something was up, but it was our 1 yr anniversary (since we had first met) so i thought he was being sweet. then he got down on one knee and proposed! right there, outside...autumn in NY and it was beautiful! nothing too fancy but it was just perfect! and he got me my dream ring too, I was so surprised that he actually figured that out since we never really talked about it.
[ Reply | Options ]We dated 1 yr then moved in together. We both more or less knew we wanted to get married, but both had been in serious relationships before so we took our time. He proposed about 2 yrs after we met while we were at the beach. He got down on 1 knee and opened the ring box- very traditional. Romantic, lustful days for many yrs until dc.
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I gave gentle ultimatum, then didn't bring it up for several months. I figured he had heard me and so I left him to make his own decision. Months later, my birthday dinner at Le Cirque, out came the ring. He cried it was very sweet. Then we went to the theater. Big birthday present at home. What a day, it was worth waiting for.
[ Reply | Options ]After 5 years of dating (I was 26, he was 30) DH secretly flew my parents into town and put them and his parents up at the Hotel Giraffe. He had two separate groups of friends either meet at the hotel or meet us at the Halloween day parade (everyone was in costume). Our (parade) group met up with the other group at a designated spot on the route - I saw my parents, and looked at DH completely shocked. He was already down on one knee. I never saw it coming, we never discussed it. He had a private room and menu at Dos Caminos set up for everyone to celebrate. Still the best decision I have ever met. Expecting first DC in 8 weeks...
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waited until litterally the last day of my "ultimatum" (we were supposed to move abroad, i.e. I quit my job and I was converting to Judaism, so I was of the opinion that he should not "let me wait" for years, since I had done my end of the committing. I did give him a whole year.) He got a horse and buggy to pick me up at work and got on his knees at an intersection.
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[-]birth control? two kids--probably done--37yo--super heavy cycles these days--pill or does and IUD help with these issues?
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[-]Breastfeeding during the recession - There is no free lunch, even for babies. http://www.marketwatch.com/story/in-a-recession-breastfeeding-moms-may-pay-a-price-2009-11-10
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[-]Is it better to fly business class or buy two seats in economy when flying with an infant? Will be flying with my 2 month old for first time and don't know wether to buy a business class ticket or 2 seats in coach. Which is better? I'm jut thinking that in business there will not be a place to put her car seat. Thanks
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absolutley not true. if you bought one coach seat you might have to (although sometimes they are nice. usually not though). with a business seat you can usually bring not only your car seat on board, but a compact stroller too! (like if you have a graco snap n go or bugaboo chassis you can throw either in the closet!)
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How long is the flight? Why not two business class seats. It will make the trip even better.
[ Reply | Options ]against other's advice... i say go for the business seat. at that age they will want to be held all the time. wear them in an ergo/bjorn/sling except during takeoff/landing when you should nurse or give a pacifier or bottle and flight attendants will want you to hold them. car seats are free luggage and come off first, especially if it's a snap n go, then it's a stroller/car seat to help you get through the airport
[ Reply | Options ]Get two seats. Are you seriously just "thinking" that there wouldn't be a free spot in business class for the car seat? Do you think business class comes with extra seats?
[ Reply | Options ]I asked my ped this question and she was adament about getting 2 seats. There have been cases when sudden turbulence has caused small children to become projectiles. My experience is that children are much happier andmore comfortable in their own carseat and more likely to fall asleep.
[ Reply | Options ]I've done both. You don't have to check the car seat. I would let db sleep on the floor in the car seat. Didn't help in terms of safety but db was comfy and I had tons of space. And a quieter bathroom to change baby etc. With two seats, you can use the car seat for real, but when db is awake, it's squishy. In any case, these days I'd do single coach ticket. You almost always get two seats.
[ Reply | Options ]wow people are so off here. 100k+ miles/yr flyer here. YOU DO NOT NEED TO CHECK THE CARSEAT IF YOU BUY ONE BUSINESS CLASS SEAT. you can put it in teh closet until takeoff and then very comfortably put it by your feet for the remander of hte flight. i would go with one business seat over 2 coach seats hands down for an infant. for a toddler who needs space and wants to color and move, id say 2 coach seats. but business for infant hands down.
[ Reply | Options ]NP. Would the other members of business class mind if your baby freaked out? I've always been advised not to do this because business class is pretty child unfriendly...
[ Reply | Options ]TWO SEATS. Think about it. Baby will most likely not stay asleep for long in your arms, and will be squirmy when awake. You can't go to the bathroom, have a sip of water. If it was a 2 hour flight ok. But for 5+ hours you will both be more comfortable, and safer in two. Baby should fall fast asleep at least for a large chunk of flight due to altitude, humming, motion, leaving you free to actually relax for a few minutes.
[ Reply | Options ]and if you are in coach, seats 13D and F, and the bathroom is behind 34, are you really gonna leave your 2 month old strapped in while you make your way to the back? time walking: 30 seconds. time in line (potentially) 3 minutes. time in bathroom, 1 min. total time away 5 minutes. I wouldnt! but if I were in business, and seated in 2D, I would run to the bathroom by the cockpit. total time away - to get there, <10 seconds. time inside, 1 minute. time to return, <10 seconds. major difference.
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not in my experience. first class intl is child unfriendly (sometimes, if they are toddlers and run around). business class domestic is just fine. if someone has a problem with a crying baby, they need to charter a private plane. crying 2 month olds are not loud, and trust me (since like I said, I fly alot), are far less annoying than obese seatmates whose asses spill over into your seat or who hog the armrest, smelly people, or loud obnoxious half drunk passengers.
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Your baby is only 2 months. All mine did was nurse, sleep & gaze sweetly into my eyes. When they cried it was because they wanted to eat, sleep or be changed. The bjorn or other carrier is the BEST for flying at that age. I flew regularly LA/NY & always used the bjorn up until 10 months, especially when flying without dh. I always had a carseat on the other end (rental or relatives). Don't lug a car seat in cabin & no need for extra seat. Do go biz class though
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[-]LA moms - Can anyone recommend mommy groups in Silverlake? I'm in NYC and best friend in LA just had first. Her DD is 3.5 mons and she's very lonely. Trying to get out of the house. TIA!
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I understand your friend's plight! I recently moved to LA from NYC and this is a hard city to meet anyone. I just found out I am expecting and in my research the best that came up was to contact the Mom's Club and see if there is a chapter in her area. I am further West but would love to come her way for a coffee (or water) chat.
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[-]3 month old db wants to nurse/sleep almost all afternoon/early evening. normal?
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[-]IVF moms - when did you first feel symptoms? did you feel anything within a week after your transfer?
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[-]8.5 mo on pepcid and prevacid for reflux. Gastro had us take him off since typically they grow out of it by 9 mo. Db was a mess so back on the meds. Anyone else with a db with reflux that lasted beyond 9 mo - if so, how old when it went away?
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[-]Other than the cry out method, what worked for you to help your baby sleep through the night?
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9 months. He slept quiet well for a little while, then he started teething then rolling, then crawling, and now teething again. I don't have the heart to have him cry out (which we tried for one night). Just want to know if there are any other options.
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Infant motrin. But he still wakes up wanting to nurse... and he will fall asleep a minute or two after nursing, but I don't want to make that a habit.
[ Reply | Options ]if he is teething you are just going to have to deal with it, and not worry about it becoming a habit. try the teething tablets, they are very small and melt under the tongue. i did both and it did help, mine is 13 months old and we are dealing with more teething this week. i also have 3 yo, teething is tough and can take forever, off and on
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full disclosure... we have naturally good sleepers but one thing that we think helped was using this CD called "The BabySleep System". It's an hour long CD that you can loop to play continuously... has a deep resonant heartbeat bass, some gentle chimes and very slow undulating chords. Is supposed to mimic the sound of the baby's in vitro experience. Don't know if the premise is total bunk or not but our 1st slept thru the night by 8 weeks, twins slept thru the night by 3.5 months. FWIW - we had to employ the CIO method at some point with all three kids but it was (thankfully) very brief... usually 2 nights of about 15-20mins of crying and then it was over for good.
[ Reply | Options ]I think you have to understand that most of them go through phases. The best thing you can do is teach them to go to bed on their own, keep it dark and don't make it fun for them when they wake up in the middle of the night, have a schedule during the day, make sure they eat enough to be full, and be consistent.
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[-]mothers of four: please tell me life is manageable. Freaking out over completely unplanned pregnancy....
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You tell me. Does life ever become manageable with three? Mine is pretty insane.
[ Reply | Options ]know two families with four dc; absolutely crazed at times, but fabulous at times. they prioritized and let the small stuff go. GET HELP for at least one year and you'll be ok.
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It does get better as they get older. We have family friends with four dc and I grew up with them and in later childhood and beyond there was always fun and action going on in their household. After awhile, the kids also help out with the younger ones. This family has two boys (oldest) and then two girls and the day the last girl went off to college, the mom was very nostalgic! Early years are insane though.
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[-]if my husband are watching tv, how awful is it if our 6-month old does as well? she seems to enjoy the different color lights on the tv screen from her bouncy seat...but i definitely don't want to encourage this kind of behavior as soon as she can 'understand' what is actually going on. thoughts? thanks.
79 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I'm guessing it's not much different than looking at a mobile, as long as you're not watching murders or boxing. Does she have something to play with in her seat?
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TV is not recommended for babies. That being said I used to let dd (at 6 months) watch the Baby Einstein DVD's but never regular TV. Most TV is to violent, filled with vulgar language, or sexual references. Nobody knows what they retain and what they don't.
[ Reply | Options ]you know, there was a lawsuit filed against baby einstein because their dvds actually inhibit language in babies, rather than encourage its development as they had claimed. so, you can mail them up to 4 dvds (must be in original dvd case) and they will reimburse you 15.99 per dvd. no joke!
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relax. Its a way for your husband to unwind after work and hang with his baby. and...give you a break. my third watched waaaaayyyyy more tv than my first. he is perfectly fine!!!
[ Reply | Options ]Kids should not watch tv before age 2 at least - I think that this makes total sense. To compare TV to a mobile (as one poster did) is quite surprising! Even if dc doesn't get any of the language, action, etc. sound is loud, and images keeps moving all the time - and I'm not even mentioning commercials! I am certainly partial to the issue since we don't have a tv in our home, but I strongly believe that fast moving and changing images (whether tv or computer games) are detrimental to the development of the brain of our dcs (but again this is just my humble uninformed opinion). Also, if you already are at that stage at 6 months, what is it going to be when she's 1, or 2, or later ? When is quiet story time going to happen in your house ? I t...
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disagree. she's right on. the only parents who let 6 m/o db watch tv are lazy ones.
[ Reply | Options ]huh? a dh relaxing while holding his baby and watching the game, is lazy? can parents ever just chill out with dbs or must we always be engaged in educational activity? my dh snuggles with db for hours on sunday and watches football, while i get a much needed break, or get to spend quality time with our older dc.
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I don't know if that poster was bragging; some of us really do have low screen time. I live in a home with tv but my screen time happens here on the mac.Before 2 it's really a physiological isue. There is clinical eidence to support the diminished attention spans, self soothing abilities and other negative effects on babies who watch tv.I wouldn't mess with that. Older kids have a different set of reasons.
[ Reply | Options ]OR: Sorry if my post sounded like bragging. That was not my intention. I did mention that I understood that dh needed to unwind and I understand that evenings are difficult for everyone. I just wanted to point to the slippery slope that OP's situation could be, as described in her post. If baby is in front of tv in evening at 6 months, when will she be away from it in the future before bedtime ? As for various studies' validity on the topic of children and tv, it's pretty obvious to me that tv as we know it now is too loud, too fast, constantly over-dramatized and too commercial, for children and I would even say for adults! As for the routine that I described, we don't succeed in following it every evening, by far, but it still is a goal.
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Babies should not watch t.v. because it wastes their "alert" time. I don't think sitting under a mobile for that same duration is any more interactive or instructional.
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np well I love tv and we all do in my house. You cannot compare since you obviously hate tv since you don't even own a tv - your choice but you shouldn't push your ideals on other people. Nothing is sacred btw - other people have different bed time routines
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I have three kids at home and they all have "watched" TV from birth on. They all made into G&T schools and grew up to be smart and responsible children. Yes, if you park your child in front of the TV and that's all the entertainment they get, sure that's a problem. Most folks here, though, know how to balance things. Everything in moderation is fine.
[ Reply | Options ]in this case "everything in moderation" (which annoys me as an excuse for everything on this board almost as much as the term "folks") should begin after age 2. there is evidence to suggest that tv before then leads to everything from childhood obesity to add.
[ Reply | Options ]Sorry. I stand by my opinion (studies or not). A bit of TV is perfectly fine for children younger than 2. I personally have not and I do not know any children at all that were negatively impacted by being exposed to TV at a young age. All these studies are about more than common sense use of TV with children.
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no you cannot read the study - it is not causation it correlative. Big difference. Please get a dictionary
[ Reply | Options ]What facts? Did you actually read those studies? Yes, there seems to be a correlation somehow but that's pretty much it. If that already scares you how about the correlation between you bringing your kid outside and both of you getting killed by a taxi cab? Is this going to stop you from walking outside?
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most gifted kids had a favorite tv show by 1 yo - amazing isn't it that they watched tv. Hey I don't care if you don't want your kid to watch tv but mind does and she's just great.
[ Reply | Options ]When other parents asked me how I taught my kids reading at a young age (which I didn't - it was always self-acquired) I always said that it was because of TV. I remember how there was this phase when my kids wanted to watch their shows with CC turned on. They wanted to see how the spoken word looks like written down.
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ITA. Honestly I feel like the "no tv before age 2" or age 5, whatever, is a CYA move on the part of the AAP. If they think there's even a small risk of increased obesity, ADHD, even if there's no proven causal relationship, they can say that they "warned us" if different stats come out later on.
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The American Association of Pediatrics recommends no TV under 5 years. It's interesting tat so many posters have reduced that to 2 years. It's 5.
[ Reply | Options ]no, it's two. http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;104/2/341 scroll down to number 3 under recommendations.
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My dd watched since 3 months - didn't pay attention but tv is always on in my house, Dont care about that rule. She's super verbal and very social and kind. Decide for yourself. There are many anti tv moms here. I am pro tv. Dd learned a lot from it.
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Im gross because I watch tv and let dd watch tv? So be it. You are the name caller. Be a martyr mom and don't let your kids watch tv. I watch cnbc during the day. I don't like quiet. I like voices and being up on what's going on. Obviously I'm a sahm. btw dd self regulates tv already. Turns if off when she's done watching and many times isn't interested at all. Plays elaborate pretend games. No harm from the tv - actually gave her ideas to pretend she's doing.
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Ditto that. I even admit that at some point when the infant awoke way too early in the morning we just put on a DVD for her and we got another 30 minutes of sleep. She had fun, we got some more rest, we all grew up happily.
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for all those who cite the AAP guideline like it's some kind of sacred rule, just remember that there are lots of guidelines that can be left up to parental discretion. some are even enacted into law, but life is rarely about absolutes. an example: alcohol. dh grew up in a country with a more lax attitude about drinking. as a younger teen (starting at 13, maybe 12 even?), he was allowed small amounts of alcohol at the family table. he learned how to enjoy alcohol in a normal, healthy, responsible way, very different from the outright ban before 21 that we have here, which leads to a lot of binge drinking in college. i feel the same way about tv-- a little here and there, even a little every day is not going to damage a kid for life. this co...
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[-]TTC baby #2. Conceived DS #1 w/clomid/IUI. Am now 37. RE keeps saying all is fine, numbers are fine, DH has super sperm. However, now have had 2 failed clomid/IUIs. exhausted, depressed, and emotional. would you do another IUI and if yes, another with clomid or move on to injectibles? we can't start IVF until Jan. what would you do?
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Clomid is counterproductive, move onto injectables. Why do you have to wait until Jan? I suppose it is around the corner now though
[ Reply | Options ]bc the office goes on a hiatus for lab maintenance for a few wks in Dec and then i am away for the holidays to see family, a vacation which was booked almost a year ago, when i had no idea i would be in this awful place. curious, why do you say clomid is CP? i'm also TERRIFIED of doing the injections. i don't know if i can really do this.
[ Reply | Options ]A lot of people say that it messes with your body so much that it causes problems, not solves them . But if you are not going to do IVF until Jan you may as well give it another go or two, but try something different, mix it up a bit. The injections are seriously not a big deal. Can you get dh to do them? Good Luck
[ Reply | Options ]thank you for the advice. i just watched the video for doing the injections and am having anxiety. i can't even watch when the do the blood draws or the ovidrul. i have no idea how i will do this myself, and as much as i love DH, i can't see him doing this either. the clomid did make me feel like crap. but i don't know if its my emotions and anxiety that are causing me to question it. the doc said that typical is 3 cycles of clomid, but he said i could move to injectibles too. im so confused and scared.
[ Reply | Options ]Get dh to do it. You are doing enough, and you won't even feel it. And your doctor knows your situation the best, so do what he says, imo, but if he says injectables are worth a go next cycle, suck it up, and go for it.....
[ Reply | Options ]not a question of "suck it up." i have serious genuine anxiety and fear about needles. i'm still amazed i ever had a baby and made it through childbirth at all. how do you get the strength to stick it in? it's not about whether it hurts, it the anxiety of knowing that something is piercing your skin. i am truly truly scared.
[ Reply | Options ]np: I know someone who hired a nurse to come and give the shots. It was a little expensive but not outrageous as it only took a minute and she found someone who lived nearby. Try this and maybe that will make you relax, even if it costs a few hundred dollars extra.
[ Reply | Options ]thanks for the suggestion. im now trying to think of anyone i know who could do it for me.
[ Reply | Options ]np, and i absolutely 100% understand your needle fear. i was TERRIFIED. got my sister to come do it, and was absolutely in a panic the first time she did it. next time it was bad but not as bad, and gradually got better and better. it can be scary and if you really don't feel comfortable doing it, you shouldn't put yourself through that.
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