[-]37weeks and woke up so grumpy this morning. PG w/#2 and forcing toddler to watch tv all morning while I vegg. Was up all night convinced going into labor and thinking water was breaking. Have 2.5 hours till nap. Could bring him to mall but risk him falling asleep in car on way home and screwing whole nap. Feeling vulnerable and selfish now and just like a big baby. ugh.
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[-]Does anyone know what to do when a toddler (18 mo) who eats when fed sitting on a high chair but refuses to pick up food and eat. How do I teach such a baby to pick up and put food in his mouth. I have tried all the easy things and failed. Help!
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your kid does something you don't like, or refuses to do what you ask, you count to three and if it isn't done at three, they go into timeout. period. not fighting, no arguing, no yelling.
[ Reply | Options ]the main thing I got out of it was to do your best to take your own emotions (anger, frustration) out of disciplinary actions. This is not acceptable, without the yelling and over explaining (for toddlers). Beyond that, it's a codification of time outs.
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good baby gift websites?
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[-]Caffeine Issues!!! I eat pretty good and exercise 3-4 times per week. I take vitamins, but feel fried from the obscene amounts of caffeine I take in. I have to quit! I'm trying to conceive baby #3. I love ACAI XXX Vitamin Water. What are you girls drinking to keep up....
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Juiced greens/reds/yellows and a steady stream of rice milk,frozen berry&banana smoothies. For warm beverages I do a variety of teas-green,black,herbal,whatever.Also try FloraVital liquid iron+herbal supplement.FloraDix is nearly identical(but has yeast). I took it while ttc AND as my pre-natal vitamin(others made me nauseous),which was ok'd by my ob/midwife.Floravital is made by SalusHaus and is available at Fairway, online and at most decent Health stores.You will be amazed at the bost-and no, I have no stock or position in the company.
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[-]Need the perfect video monitor for a NYC Apartment. Having trouble with a Summer Infant video monitor (I get better reception of some stranger's baby than my own). Has anyone found a video monitor that works well in the NYC Apartment environment?
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[-]Has anyone take the childbirth classes through Cornell Eastside with Fern Drillings? Are the classes worth $300? Do you learn a lot more than you would learn through talking to your doctor/friends and/or taking hospital tour?
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[-]Don't know how to handle social situations or levels of frienship anymore....I tend to see the same friends who have kids similar or close in age (playdate, park). I think I feel more guilty about being out of touch with a lot of people. Heck, I don't even talk to my own parents daily. How do you guys balance it?
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[-]New mom trying to economize (we weren't good savers in our 20s and now trying to catch up). We currently use 7th gen or Method-type household cleaners due to worry about toxins and dd. Also Dreft wips for the baby's toys. Am I being crazy ? Should we continue to pay for these premium priced items or is it just not worth it (dd is 7 months old)
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I think it's worth it- there are studies showing that asthma is linked to heavy use of household cleaners....of course they are probably exposure levels you'd' never reach. But why risk it.
[ Reply | Options ]Oh yeah and you could invest in microfiber cloths and a steamer. You'd be amazed at how well the cloths do with just water and the steam cleaners are essentially cleaning with boiling water- no toxins invovled and they work really well. You can get all that stuff at Bed, Bath and Beyond type stores....the steamer I have was about $100.
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op: are there ones that you just won't do with it ... I think the dishwashing liquid is important because that's where I put her bottles ... but does it really matter what kitchen cleaner I use ? (and yes, the sucky reality of this economy means we are thinking about these teeny, tiny purchases)
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[-]My 4 yo is acting out at home and not listening. He's very sweet, bright and energetic. I think his sister's attention for being a new walker is cramping his style. I'm planning a one-on-one time with him tomorrow night. DH is having one-on-one time today. I think he misses just being alone. We're also in the process of selling our house and I think he's a little confused. I just want to find the words and strength to reassure him that he is always special and that life is changing and that it is okay and normal. I feel heartbroken, but know this will pass.
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]You feel heartbroken that your normal child is having a normal reaction to change in his life? What would you do if something really were wrong?
[ Reply | Options ]I think he is a little sad, which makes me feel sad. He is my child and I'm sensitive to his needs. His emotional well-being and connection to myself and our family is a big deal. Being a good parent, is watching every stage and/or reactions. I've shared with him that I also moved at 4 yo and it was a fun experience. Being intuned to you kids is important.
[ Reply | Options ]That is mean. Maybe heartbroken isn't the right word, but I can see being heartsick about it. On the other hand or is correct that this is a normal reaction. This too shall pass. Just try to point out great stuff that he is doing and make sure to make him feel as loved as he obviously is.
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I wouldn't talk about it...just have a great time with him and build new traditions.
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i have a 5 yr old with a new walker too and i see sometimes he acts out and pines for attention but the not listening is not due to little sista, this is a new phase in his life and going forward you'll be repeating yourself over and over again.. he definitely could benefit from one on one time, bring him out for a walk or a special treat. the house thing is really not a big deal to him im sure, kids adjust better than we give them credit for...
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If anyone needs a full time professional nanny in Manhattan, I am looking for a new position to begin in the early part of next year. I have over six years of experience caring for newborns,infants and young children. I have excellent references and a complete resume available. You can reach me at NYCNanny@live.com if you'd like more information. Thanks!
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[-]Feeling down and exhausted. I have a 3 month old and a 3.5 year old & I just returned to work full time. I feel like I can barely keep it together with sleep deprivation & trying to do everything -- mommy & work. I'm finding that my husband & I are fighting more than ever & I'm exhausted. Any words of encouragement? I'm not depressed...I'm just depleted & spent. Thanks.
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Can you outsource? Diapers.com, FreshDirect.com, Drugstore.com are my best friends. I felt like a freak for a while because almost every day I was getting a package and I thought my nanny must've thought I was a shopaholic. But I haven't set foot inside a store in ages, so what's the difference between a package and a shopping bag? Three months is hard but just remember that it'll get better soon.
[ Reply | Options ]Absolutely. My doormen said we should buy stock in Diapers.com & I'm also doing Fresh Direct & Drugstore.com. That's exactly how I feel. I guess I'm just upset that my husband & I are fighting so much & I think it's b/c we're both so exhausted.
[ Reply | Options ]we went through this and, though this might sound stupid, can you just stop fighting for a while? i mean that sincerely - i am a usually don't have a problem with conflict and in fact usually prefer to just resolve things right away. but when db came along and some of the problems really couldn't be solved with a quick 5 minute "discussion," it really started to tax me. and has all along taxed dh. now i really try not to bring stuff up unless i know i have the energy to control myself and my emotions and to carry the discussion through even if dh strongly disagrees. results in "issues" staying on the table longer, but a lot less exhaustion and "upset" in the house.
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Well of course you're exhausted. Your DH needs to get a major clue here and give you more support. It's tough to be the one up at night and going to work. Are you pumping too? I think the only thing that would help is if you can cut back at work, since getting a new DH is not a likely option in the short term. Could you look into cutting back to part time or taking a month or two of unpaid leave? Your exhaustion will get better as DB starts sleeping better. Honestly your DH sounds like a clueless idiot to me. Hope it gets better.
[ Reply | Options ]you are me in a few months (with same age dc and db), and DH barely knows where the laundry room is in our building so I don't expect much support. Just know that it isn't forever, and the first year will go by fast. The only words of encouragement I can offer is you are not alone!
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[-]mommies, what would you do? there is a CVS clinic doing h1n1 vaccines today. My husband and I are not in the 6months-24 yrs old (were 25 and 26) and our daughter is 7 months. She has gotten the 1st round of the h1n1 vaccine, but not guaranteed the 2nd half and therefore only has protection for a month. I was told by the pharmacist to say that my daughter was 5 months old and get it for my husband and I. I am concerned that she will not be able to get the 2nd half of the vaccine and will be unprotected in 3 weeks with my husband and I unprotected as well. We live in the city, husband works in midtown. what would you do?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]So your question is: Do we remain unprotected for 3 weeks or stay unprotected for the entire flu season? If I do understand you correctly, I would say go for the shots.
[ Reply | Options ]well my daughter needs to get the other half of the vaccine in 3 weeks. that half is not guaranteed, but as of right now, her ped does have it. I am concerned that what if in 3 weeks, they do not have it, and we dont have it (b/c we didnt want to lie and say that she was 5 months old to get it) and now none of us are protected... wwyd? its really a moral issue... do we lie and fully protect our family, or do we be honest and take a risk of us being at risk?
[ Reply | Options ]np: The H1N1 is not given in "halves". Younger dcs need two doses to ensure immunity, which means their immune systems may not be mature enough to mount a response to just one dose. It is highly likely that most kids will gain immunity from one dose, so that might be good enough.
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don't take it away from someone who is in a high risk group. If you have to lie to get it, you shouldn't.
[ Reply | Options ]ITA I can not get the vax anywhere (I am not in NY) they were handing it out to everyone and now they have run out and I am 8 months pregnant and left with nothing. There is a reason they are only giving it to high risk groups and you should not take away from someone else because of the off chance your dd will not get the second shot.
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[-]OK. Trying to understand so I can be more compassionate about formula feeding. So tell me exactly how this works: you push out your newborn, they put him/her on your chest, he/she begins to root for your nipple, you have a rush of oxytocin. But you clap a hand on your boob and say "not so fast! Is there any Similac handy?" Or what?
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No, I truly want to know what those moments immediately after birth look like in this situation. Truly. Give me a play by play.
[ Reply | Options ]Here's my play by play. "Oh you have a girl" "oh something is wrong with her, let's whisk her away to the NICU. DH saw her before I did. So don't be so on your high horse.
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It depends. My DB was in a NICU at NY Downtown, which doesn't have a full fledged NICU so all the babies are in one place. When they're taking care of a special case, they don't allow parents in. That happened to me. DB is thriving. It's not a big deal (to not immediately BF, that is).
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a. there is a very obnoxious tone to your post. b. i never felt a rush of anything. c. my baby did not want to nurse right away. d. if you've never bf, it doesn't translate you'd have an urge to bf. you'd have an urge to feed and you can use a bottle just as soon as you can bf.
[ Reply | Options ]but your baby has an urge to breastfeed. Every baby does. I'm interested in whether mothers feel anything about that urge, and thwarting it.
[ Reply | Options ]actually, my babies didn't. one was unconscious and the other didn't want to eat. but thanks for asking. i also would question whether my baby has an urge to breast feed or my baby has an urge to eat. if i put the baby near my toes, it might root at my toes. it doesn't know my breast from a toe from a bottle.
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it's not incredibly sad. mothers want to provide for their babies. babies want to eat. to imply that moms who ff are denying their own urges is really over the top. and that's not even starting on what she's implying about how ff'ing moms care for their children.
[ Reply | Options ]Just because something is instinctual doesn't mean it's the only legitimate option, or even the optimal one. Men have an instinct to have sex with as many women as possible.
[ Reply | Options ]good point. (although i've been waiting for someone to say "are you equating breastfeeding with sex?!?!"). i also would like to ask the op why she thinks i want her compassion about how i feel my child. she doesn't need to understand. she doesn't need to agree. she doesn't need to sympathize or empathize. she needs to mind her own business.
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You know nothing. Neither of my kids had any interest in nursing, no sucking instinct,no rooting. I did manage to get breast milk into both of them, after a seriously expensive and emotionally draining struggle, but if I hadn't it would have been totally understandable. I'm actually surprised that so many kids survived in the pre-formula days because my experience is that nursing is not easy or instinctive for either mother or baby. And you do the pro-breastfeeding cause a tremendous disservice by your ignorant, judgmental, and frankly stupid posts.
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i'm with the OP -- of course there's an urge to bf. it's biological and evolutionary. the baby instinctively searches for its mother's breast, the mother instinctively wants to feed the baby. It's a legitimate if snarkily phrased question -- there can't be an instinct to mix up a bottle.
[ Reply | Options ]So really, give me a play by play. You have your child and while you feel all the intensity of new motherhood and love, breast feeding is not going to work. You make sure your child receives formula and you spend hours feeding her every day. You then encounter some sanctimonious new mother, drunk with hormones and ego who has nothing better to do than point fingers at people who shockingly are not exactly like her. Signed a mother who breast fed all three of her dbs.
[ Reply | Options ]Thank you, that's helpful. FYI, my kids are 10 and 7, so "drunk with hormones" is laughable. The breastfeeding threads from today got me thinking about this.
[ Reply | Options ]well shame on you that you've lived this long and can't answer your question yourself. Don't you have any friends? Don't you read? Not everyone is successful bf'ing. Why so ugly and combative on the subject. You paint such an ugly picture. "Not so fast is there any similac handy"? How smug. I suppose the answer you're looking for is you OP are wonderful and the rest of us have no justification being different from you.
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if you're a mother who bf three dbs, why are you answering with a scenario you didn't experience?
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Is this for real?? My milk came in like 4 days AFTER the birth. Some people are such weirdos on this board.
[ Reply | Options ]Everyone's milk comes in after birth. The average is 3-5 days. It's kind of pathetic that you had a child and knew nothing about providing it wit appropriate nutrition.
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np: actually, i think this OR was answering the "rush of oxycontin" part of the post. most women don't feel the need to nurse. i didn't feel it with my first kid for a couple of days, although i think i felt it sooner with my second. the op is making it sound like every impulse in your body is screaming "feed this child" but then you ignore it. and it's just not that way at all.
[ Reply | Options ]When I had DB (at age 45) my mother (who had me at 35, ancient in those days) said "we ALL fed babies formula. I never had milk, so I couldn't anyway." When I explained many mothers DON'T have milk for a couple of days, and what colostrum was, she looked shocked, then started to cry. 45 years later.
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I felt ZERO urge to nurse my DD, but I stuck it out because of people like you who made me feel like I had to. After 4 miserable months, I gave up and guess what: my DD was MUCH happier, I was much happier and life was wonderful again. As the mother of two older children, I'm shocked at how dense your question is. Do you lead that sheltered a life that you would seriously not be able to come up with possible scenarios? Sad!
[ Reply | Options ]the contagious virus I had at the time would have killed my baby so, I decided I should follow my doctor's advice and not breastfeed it. however, my illness was no one else's busines so when people like you ask why I formula fed I just say I couldn't. then people like you hate me and try to make me feel guilty. just so you know, i think you are an ignorant twerp.
[ Reply | Options ]was the contagious virus HIV? Because usually when a mother has a virus she is *encouraged* to bf, to pass along antibodies to said virus.
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but, I knew you would ask. one of the many reasons I decided not to disclose my medical condition to everyone.
[ Reply | Options ]and, if you had actually read what I wrote, you'd see that my doctor's advice was that I NOT breastfeed.
[ Reply | Options ]see, everyone thinks they are a doctor. and that they have the right to start asking questions about my own illness. just take my work for it. it would have KILLED MY BABY. so i assume I deserve your compassion? you, on the other hand, don't deserve mine, for your ignorance and your intolerance of others.
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The sceanario you describe never even happens at the VAST majority of American births. Neither of my newborns was ever put on my chest - with #1 because I delivered in a hospital from the stone ages and with #2 b/c he wasn't breathing a birth and needed to be recusitated. I spent pretty much my entire hospital, both times, fighting with the nurses to be "allowed" to BF - #1 had low body temperature and low blood sugar, #2 had jaundice (and I was actually told by my post-partum nurse that I was "starving" him and "shouldn't even bother to try" to nurse. I think we should actually consider it a MIRACLE that ANY American woman leaves the hospital still BF'ing, given the incredible shortfalls in medical and social support, not heap scorn on ...
[ Reply | Options ]God. I'm so sorry that happened to you but there's a major problem there that that scenario is normal.
[ Reply | Options ]I think my experience is far more the exception than the norm in American hospitals. BF'ing in theory, but provide very little in terms of actual, meaningful support to mothers, and at the smallest hint of a problem, they push formula. But as usual, women prefer to rage at each other over this issue rather than looking at what the real issues are and how we might create solutions.
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i have to say that i've had three kids in two different hospitals and i've found the nursing staff to be very supporting of bf'ing.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: Me too. But at SLR "supportive" meant allowing me to sleep overnight in the waiting room and go into the nursery every two hours to feed my "starving" baby with janudice--both formula and breastmilk. Even though every nurse tried to show me how to bf a completely differernt way b/c there is no lactation training going on there. Didn't work. No one noticed that baby's freneulum was tight and she had torticollis, which meant she wasn't actually getting anything those 48 postpartum hours I alternated between the nursery and the waiting room couch.
[ Reply | Options ]My experience delivering a preemie by csec this summer at SLR was the complete opposite. Almost ever y nurse in the NICU is a lactation specialist. I was taught tons of techniques (& perseverance) I didn't have with older dc. Bfing wouldn't have been successful without their help.
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NNP I think most go through the motions of support but are hinderd by backwards policies and practices. The nurse might really support your choice to BF as a fellow mom but if she doesn't see a wet diaper in X hours, catches you letting the baby sleep past X o'clock she's bound by her position to hassle you. Unfortunately a health BF relationship often isn't appreciated by medical staff who want to weigh, measure and control everything in their midst.
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I had the same experience with my 3 dc's, but because I worked at UNICEF (major advocates of bf) and had a very supportive DH, I bf all 3 succesfully. Each time a free supply of formula was given to me, courtesy of the formula companies. The ignorance about the advantages of bf is really thanks this companies.
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YOU SICK EFFIN BEETCH! I couldn't breastfeed no matter what. Some of us having "plumbing design issues" EFFFFF YOU
[ Reply | Options ]Hi OP - I'm with you in wondering whether any ladies out there who chose ahead of time not to breastfeed did it. I have a friend who chose not to breastfeed for many reasons and will let you know what she tells me.
[ Reply | Options ]I am expecting my 1st. I want to bf, but the question I have is, with a bottle..you can SEE how much the baby eats, how do you know when the baby has had enough or isnt eating enough, or that you are even producing enough milk?
[ Reply | Options ]because your baby is pooping, and peeing, and thriving, and sleeping, and seems satisfied, and it's really not as difficult as mothers on here make it seem.
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like you said bf is not so obvious whether the baby is eating enough. also, bf in the beginning can be painful because your nipple is not used to all the sucking and latching...As a first time mom, of course you will be very anxious and worried whether baby is eating enough or not. with all the advice out there on how you are suppose to have baby latch on and so forth, it is no wonder mom is anxious if they are doing it correctly or not. my advise, don't worry so much about a so call proper latch, as long as your baby is peeing and pooping enough and gaining weight then you are doing fine bf.
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Lots of babies don't want to feed right away...they don't really need to eat for the first week, nature's way of giving the milk time to come in. So your provocatively crafted scenario rings more than a bit false. But what really sucks is your grandiosity-putting the burden of trying to convince you on any genuine poster who will accept it, so you can be more "compassionate." Compassion comes from wanting to heal the suffering of others, not necessarily an intellectual understanding of them. (And lucky for you! Otherwise you might just have to die without experiencing it:)
[ Reply | Options ]I breastfed, so please know that I'm not coming at this defensively. But you sound like a real jerk. Why on earth do you think formula-feeders need your approval? Why should they care that you are "trying" to understand? By the way, if it is the moments immediately after birth that you are interested in, then you must realize that many women who choose to breastfeed do not get to do so immediately because it takes a while to work out the kinks.
[ Reply | Options ]I bf my dd and I'm expecting and I will bf my ds, but I can tell you I didn't feel any rush of anything but exhaustion after hours and hours of labor. I didn't want to bf not only that I didn't want to hold her either. I wanted to go to sleep. She didn't want to nurse either. Hours later I wanted to nurse her only because I thought she was hungry and I knew I didn't want her to get used to a bottle and not my breast. For the 3 days I was in the hospital I sent her to the nursery at night and when they brought her in for feedings I was so exhausted I was like you can feed her. So every woman does have this urge to bf. I have friends who had no intention of trying to bf. When I mentioned I was planning to bf before my daughter was born one mo...
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my one cousin has serious body issues and couldn't wrap her head around nursing and the intimacy and the nakedness it involved--i swear--another friend is the same was--immature and prudish. Another coulodn't nurse her first (nicu) and felt so guilty about not nursing #1 she wouldn't do #2--because #1 was old enough to understand.
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[-]Hi, Any tips on weaning my four month old off the pacifier? He uses it both to nap and for night-time sleep. It gets tiring when he wakes up in the middle of the night and wants it. Figure its easier to break the habit now? Also, any recommendations for a crib mobile that may help soothe him to sleep (replacing the pacifier)? Thanks
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COLD TURKEY. It may be difficult for a few days/nights but it's totally worth it.
[ Reply | Options ]why do you want to? in response to the poster below about language development, my dd used it until she was 2 1/2 (at the end only at night) and has by far the best language development in her preschool class, so i wouldn't worry about that, if that's your concern.
[ Reply | Options ]^^also, if you decide not to take it away, something i found helpful to reduce the wake-up calls was to put 3 or 4 different pacis all over the crib so when my dd would wake up she could grab one near her on her own, and we didn't have to run in to find it. but, you might have to wait a couple of months until he's old enough to put it in his mouth on his own.
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My ped said six months, so I took it away at five months. He is completely pacifier and thumb sucking free.
[ Reply | Options ]I just did this with my 5mo old (now 6 mo old). I let him keep it for nap, but at night when he woke up, I let him cry it out. IT was sad, but after a week, he was only waking once, at 5:30am, at which point I give him the pacifier and he sleeps until 7. When he woke up crying, I would pick him up and try to soothe him and shush him and give him his lovey for comfort. It was an exhausting week, but so worth it.
[ Reply | Options ]My daughter is 5 months, and we're waiting until at least 6 months, maybe 8. My feeling is that babies need to suck to soothe themselves, and why would I want to rob her of something that can help her learn to self soothe and feel secure while she is still so little and unable to do it in other ways? I also didn't want her to be a thumbsucker-- because you can NEVER take the thumb away. About the crib mobile, my daughter LOVES hers (by North American Bear), but it doesn't put her to sleep. It's more something that puts her in a good mood and makes her kick and coo. She thinks the little animals are her friends. If you're looking more for a sleep thing, there's the Fisher Price aquarium or other similar "soothers."
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[-]Where can I sell a new stroller besides craigslist in NYC? I have a brand new Orbit, with tags, never used that I would like to sell. Thanks!
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Ok, well then...does anyone want to purchase an orbit stroller in NYC? The complete infant system...
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To be honest my husband doesn't like it. We received it as a present, from my work, and it is already assembled so we can't return it. I was in love with it but my husband wants something different. It still has its tags and is in perfect condition. I'm not due for another 5 weeks so therefore it has never been used.
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You can put up a sign in a pediatrician's office if they have a bulletin board. Also, if you are associated with a university, most have electronic bulletin boards.
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[-]My sister was cheating with a guy for a year and a half. She wouldn't come clean until now, since her divorce is almost final. My Mother somewhat knew about it and hinted around, but never confirmed with me. My sister told me today and it reconfirmed the story that my Mother hinted around to 6 months ago. Theyr'e both nuts and just lie constantly to make themselves look superior. I have a hard time digesting, that my Mother has know about this and has covered for her. The whole thing is a mess, but I need to let it go and its not my life.
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[-]just did single embryo transfer today. we went in thinking that we were going to transfer 2 and re told us that we are good candidates for single embryo (embryo was best that we could have asked for and i am under 35. i am pretty sure that we made the right choice - we already have a 15mos ds. i just hope i dont beat myself up about this in the event that it doesnt work.
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]GL! You probably made the right choice. From what I have been reading lately, single-embryo transfers are actually almost as effective as double-embryo transfers AND you eliminate the risk of complications from a multiple pregnancy. I think single-transfer is the standard protocol in the UK.
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