[-]How did you tell your families that you were expecting? My husband and I want to tell our families in person when we see them over the Christmas holidays, but we haven't come up with a great idea HOW to tell them yet. Both sets of parents assumed we were never going to have a child, so this will be a real surprise. Thanks for all suggestions.
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Decide you want a family picture while everyone is there. Once everyone is together, have your husband be the one taken the picture, say by the way (your name) is pregnant and capture everyone's reaction. This is the best way because you literally get a picture of that moment to keep forever.
[ Reply | Options ]My friends gave their parents a children's book with a card that said "for you to read to your granddaughter"
[ Reply | Options ]I gave my parents a picture of the sonogram and said guess who this is. It took them a few minutes and they didn't believe it until they saw my name printed on the sonogram.
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Ask everyone to get together for a group picture and instead of "cheese" say "1-2-3 we're having a baby" then you can capture the looks on their faces for your album.
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[-]Does the Valco Tri Mode Twin take two infant carseats and a toddler seat? (for newborn twins and toddler)?
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]i have the valco single and it takes either the toddler seat or the carseat but not both.
[ Reply | Options ]I dont think it would, have never tried though. Off topic, I would not recomend this stroller. It is so big and heavy I never use it, much easier to use a babycarrier and a single stroller with a toddler board or a lightweight twin stroller and a carrier. This is just my experience but I always use my bug with the toddlerboard and one baby in the babyhawk.
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[-]If you're going to have a separate 24 hour baby nurse for a newborn, when would you give your nanny--for an existing DC--her raise for the additional child? When the nurse is gone? When you go to work?
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Assuming the regular nanny won't have longer hours and her responsibilities stay the same, her raise should come after the baby nurse has finished her term and you go back to work (assuming that you'll care for baby or older DC when you're at home so that nanny's responsibilities don't increase).
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[-]When did you...(1) wean from bottles, (2) wean from binkis, (3) wean from spoon feeding....
17 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ](1) 13 - 14 most, (2) dc refused them (though I first read this as "bikinis" which left me a bit confused) (3) not sure exactly what you mean - if when did I let them start feeding themselves - as soon as they started eating finger foods, but if you mean make them feed themselves with spoon, it was gradual - there are still times I'm shoving food in my 3 yo's mouth with a spoon b/c I just don't have the time to let her spend 35 minutes conversing with her food before she eats it.
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1) never. my babe refused the bottle around 8 mo. and only had breast until 17 months
[ Reply | Options ]oops! hit enter too soon 2) not yet. dd is 18 mo. and NEEDS the pacifier or she will suck on her finger/hands/thumbs and has severe eczema so the pacifier is a necessity. Of course I know the issues with them, but like any parent i decide to do what is right for my baby. SO sick of the looks. and 3) um...if it's messy I still spoon feed her, but if you mean purees, she decided she was done with them on her own, around 15 months, but we did other finger foods along with them all the while.
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1) the day before her first birthday (she didn't like it anyway) 2) weaned from day use at 18 months (when teething ended) but still uses at night 3.) also at 18 months but she wouldn't eat solid food b/c of the teething - moved from baby food straight to solids after all teeth were in.
[ Reply | Options ]#1: (1) for water/juice at 12 months, for milk at nearly 4yo (AM & bedtime only); (2) 4 months gave it up on his own; (3) sometime btwn 1 and 2yo but even at 5yo he still likes to be fed (we don't do it though!). #2: (1) still using bottle for milk at 1yo, but uses suppy for water; (2) still using paci; (3) except for cereal or soup, has not been spoon fed since 9 mo.
[ Reply | Options ]3 boys. First went to daycare and I pumped for him so he weaned from bottle at 12 months but took sippy at around 9 months. 2nd two never took bottles, just bf'd. Binkies - 1st gave up binkie on his own around a year old. 2nd two, much to my dismay, stopped taking binkies at 7 months. I honestly don't remember spoon feeding my first. Still spoon feeding 2nd two at 13 months. When will it end?!! Working on it!
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[-]Frequent Urination and NO UTI. I am freaked out cause I have to pee a lot - like 2x per hr. At night as well. I had bacterial vaginosis twice since Aug and think it re-occured but not sure except that I am peeing a lot. If not a UTI, can bacterial vaginosis cause frequent urination? UGH - Thanks
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I had something similiar--the more I thought about it, the worse it got. First, go to your doctor and ask for a referral to a urinologist. How much are you peeing? If you have urgency but not a lot of liquid, then it could be anxiety (possible over peeing so much!!!)...You can also try cranberry juice (the pure stuff-bitter, no sugar and tastes strong) and mix it with water.
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[-]What are you feeding your under 1 yo these days other than baby food? My db is just starting with cheerios and puffs and I was not sure what to try next. I will just give him tiny bites of various fruits (if soft) and have given hummus. He seems to be up for trying anythign I am just terrified of choking and he has a dairy allregy and soy intolerance.
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I have a 15 mo but we started with cheerios, yogurt, applesauce, berries, bananas and steamed veggies (he loves steamed broccoli). Once he ate all that we gave him bits of turkey, chicken, roast beef and brisket, more veggies and fruits, waffles, pancakes, cheese sandwiches, beans, lentils, rice etc. He won't eat pasta or hummus but I think those are good to try too.
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[-]vent: db was a long (21in) and good sized baby (8.5lbs). due to breastfeeding issues, she didn't regain birthweight until 1 month, but kept growing. she is now 3 months and in the 50th %ile for her age (over 12lbs). She has skinny looking limbs, but a chubby tummy/face. however, it KILLS me when people call her skinny! she isn't! i haven't been this annoyed since people told me to just have more sex to get pg (have PCOS/am anovulatory)!
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Hate those kinds of people oo. Just come up with your stock answer and stick with it. Might a suggest (with a look of surprise on your face): "Really, her pediatrician says that she's perfect!"
[ Reply | Options ]Hmm. My 20 month old looks so chunky, but is only 14% for weight. Just appears chunky, so am always shocked when the pediatrician tells me she is slight. Why do you care? Do you have guilt about nursing her? I nursed both of my babies. and they are both, now, slim. My OB tells me this is common. Why worry?
[ Reply | Options ]i care b/c she didn't gain weight and i felt like i was starving her as i limited breastfeeding time (only 20 minutes each feeding) to deal with pain after a LC said that would be fine. it wasn't. but now she's a good, solid weight. it just feeds into my guilt complex.
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You are reminding me of my SIL. Any chance your husband hasn't been 100% supportive on the bfeeding? Well, I am. Nurse her as long as you want, as often as you want, and tell everyone else to stuff it. And if they make a comment about your baby, start nursing in their face. That will shut the opinionated ones, like my MIL, up :) GL You're doing great.
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PS Maybe Imissed your point, was trying to be supportive. No one should comment on the appearance of a baby, big or small. I reprimanded my friend for calling her own child, butterball. But listen, reallly. I guess recognize the comments go both ways, butterball, or skinny, but don't internalize them.
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start growing that skin of yours a little thicker. the free advice and stupid comments have just begun!
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Everyone used to comment on how chubby my first baby was and it made me worried. Second baby is in the 5% for weight and 50% for height (you can imagine how skinny she is) and am now worried about that. Lol! Just blow them off.
[ Reply | Options ]My DD is 2.4 years old, 3 feet tall and weighs 24 pounds, which puts her in the 10% tile for weight. Her arms, legs, tummy, and face have not a trace of fat anywhere and it is very hard to get her to eat. I often I hear comments like "Do you feed her?" or other rude ones as well. My whole family is skinny so she is too but people act like because she's not huge that 'I' am doing something wrong. One of my friends actually said "I thought all babies were suppose to have a tummy."
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[-]Why are your babies all bundled up today? I saw tons of babies in their "bundle me" things in their strollers with winter hats, etc. It's 60 degrees...you ladies need to lighten up. Do you even know that your nannies are doing this?? Poor kids are probably sweating!
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help! after 10 years in nyc, dh & i just moved with our 5 month ds to el torro, ca to be closer to family and i am having a very hard time adjusting. we did baby friendly yoga and belonged to a wonderful mom's group in ny, but 2 months in, i have yet to find any such groups near us and i am going stir crazy at home all day with a baby. anyone know where to look or have any suggestions of where to make new friends? i feel so lame. never thought i'd be trolling for new friends in my mid 30's as if i were back in high school...
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[-]I feel like if I continue to be a SAHM, I will need to get on anti-anxiety/depression meds. Not trying to be funny. It's hard being so isolated and with kids who don't even like you. My 2 yo seems to prefer everyone else to me and my 6 mo cries b/c he's overtired. Anyone else feel this way?
95 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]yes,me too! 4yo and 19 months old. and career gone, and money worries on top of it
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, but I find it much better when I get out of the house every morning for several hours, I give up on trying to get them to nap at home, and I have another mom friend to hang out with.
[ Reply | Options ]I agree it is hard. I don't have any mommy friends and have not had much luck making mom friends. But, I try to get out of the house everyday. It forces me to look nice - well, nicer than if I stayed home - and I like to walk, makes me feel like I am getting some exercise, and just nice to get out. Money is also tight for us, and walking is free! Once a week I treat myself to an iced coffee and sit in the park and people watch. Your kids love you - and I think will thank you for this time later in life.
[ Reply | Options ]Sounds like it's time to go back to work. It sounds like this will make you a happier mom, so do it! This is the best choice for some.
[ Reply | Options ]yes, I totally get you. where do you live?? I feel so similar to you. returning to work outside the house wouldn't do it for me though. I wish you tons of luck and agree that loneliness is part of this. definitely try to get out and make friends, even just some moms to get coffee with, go to park. you don't have to love them; it'll help just to have company I think.
[ Reply | Options ]A very wise older woman told me when I was returning to work and feeling guilty "when your children are babies they need someone to take care of their needs and their parents to show them love. they don't need you 24/7 and if you're not happy, your kids aren't happy." Then she added "I found that it was more important to be home when they were pre-teens and teens because that is when they really need their parents. One out of ten days they want to talk and if you're not home on that day, you missed that opportunity." so if babies aren't our thing, get back to work. Make some money, save it and take time off when they're older. You'll probably find you connect more easily and that's when they need you the most when they start to traverse the...
[ Reply | Options ]When they're pre-teens you should stay home? That is the most moronic thing I have ever heard! So in about 5 years, they will be out of the house, and you will have no job leads. Good thinking.
[ Reply | Options ]OR: I love the time off now with my dc. By the time your dc is in pre-teens, you are done with career and done with wanting to work, believe me.
[ Reply | Options ]Great! So not only are you now financially dependent on your husband, but your kids will need $$ as they go on to college, grad school, buying their first home - and you will have no money of your own to give them. But hey. On the off chance they feel like telling you about their pre-teen angst that day, thank G-d you're home to hear about it. Definitely, stay depressed and stay home, OP.
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Yes! Going back to work after 3 months was the very best thing for me. I personally was going CRAZY staying home. I am (I think) a much better Mom that I work.
[ Reply | Options ]Listen. There's nothing wrong with working. You're WORKING! I am a FT WOHM. I think I wasted too much time feeling bad about it. I am a better, more focused parent when my own life is balanced. Just finished maternity leave and was ready to pull my hair out (DC #2). Stop blaming yourself and do what is best for you, whatever that may be. Your kids don't want an unhappy mom, either.
[ Reply | Options ]And how do you think it would be like working as a underpaid nanny, taking care of other people's children? But that is different right?
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What I meant is that if it is deppressing for the mother, how would it be to do this as a job? Taking care of other people's children. I see so many bored and deppressed nanny's. I don't think I could have done it unless it was my own.
[ Reply | Options ]NP It's not depressing for "the" mother, it's depressing for this mother. Some people love being a SAHM and some don't. There's nothing wrong with that.
[ Reply | Options ]Actually, there is. I understand some women have no choice but to work and leave their children, that's different. But I honestly can't understand how a mother can WANT to leave her children and be away from her. If that's how you feel, it was very wrong for you to have kids.
[ Reply | Options ]ITA - I don't know any women who WOHM who, regardless of how much they love their job, wouldn't want to spend their time with their kids, especially when the kids are small.
[ Reply | Options ]You're right. I am working full time because I want to be away from my kids. Bingo! You're so smart. Not to pay for private school. Not to have good health coverage (esp. for that emergency surgery DC needed this summer). Not to show my kids that women, too can work. Not to have some equality in my marriage. And certainly not because I am a grown woman with an advanced degree who wants to be self-sufficient, and not dependent on the whims of fate and/or my husband's career.
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Oh, puh-leease! That self-sufficient hear me roar crap is just as self absorbed as the "women should be at home" crap. Don't work because you have something to prove. Work if you need the money. Work if you are making a difference. Stay at home if you can afford to. Don't make decisions like this because of something your Women's Studies professor said in college, or because you are afraid that your husband will leave you. What a terrible way to live.
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OMG, what nonsense. I have two kids, WOHM, and the days that I do stay home, it's such a routine and most interaction happens in the eve anyways, that I feel I just have extra time to run errands, but don't miss out on any kids interaction. DD is in school 8-4, so me being home does not help. DS has a long breakfast, park outting, lunch, and a 4 hr nap. So he is up and ready to play only after 4 pm. By coming home at 5pm, I really miss out on very little. But we have over 100K of extra money to spend on our kids, vacations, extra activities, etc. I wouldn't have it any other way.
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Oh Jenny, just because you're trailer park trash doesn't mean normal moms can't get good jobs.
[ Reply | Options ]np -- don't be nasty. Unless you are curing cancer or saving the world, hardly anything you do is as important as caring for your kids. If you can afford to stay at home, why wouldn't you? Is pushing papers in the HR office and flirting with the mail room guy really that much better?
[ Reply | Options ]You know, you're not helping matters by implying that women work at meaningless jobs.
[ Reply | Options ]I was telling the OP that her work at home IS meaningful, and she should not be depressed about missing out on comparatively meaningless opportunities away from her kids. She clearly made the decision to be a SAHM and now needs to work through the issues. Those who suggest that she should go back to work are not helping matters at all. Please don't allow your personal insecurities about abandoning the care of your children come through so obviously in your comments.
[ Reply | Options ]Of course being a SAHM is meaningful. No one is saying that it isn't. But she's obviously having trouble adjusting, so she could consider other options. No one is being nasty but you for suggesting that WOHMs should be sterlized, that they abandone their kids, that they have rocky marriages, and that they work at meaningless jobs. You are the Jenny-est of them all.
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and what about dads? do you think they want to be home? or is it OK for them to want to work?
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ITA and have thought the same thing. It must suck to be a nanny taking care of other people's kids, BUT they are getting paid and it's still their choice, but I sure as hell couldn't do it.
[ Reply | Options ]hey actually i'm a former nanny and i really liked my job. i guess as a mom it would be hard to take care of other people's kids instead of my own, but since im not a mom i really loved the kid i watched a lot and he actually made me want to consider having kids, he was such a loud hyper kid, but really sweet.-*
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If you are depressed start seeing someone and consider starting antideppressants. I feel the same way sometimes, but I took a choice to be home with my children while they are small. If I was continuining to work, I would just see them 1 hour per day and the weekends and I don't want that. I use a sitter/some hours in a daycare, eventually they will start school and I can start working/go back to school. You just have to decide what is right for you and don't care what other people say. Happy mother = happy children.
[ Reply | Options ]I posted above as well about finding some company. this is similar to my situation too. I couldn't deal with the hours I'd have to work/commute, so I am trying very hard to make staying at home work for all of us. it is not easy, but they are not small forever; this is the best choice for us. I agree that you should do what you need to do to be happy in your life and your family. the kids will be thrive with whatever that is.
[ Reply | Options ]So what if you have to use antideppressants or tranquilizers for a while? Whatever makes you through the day. My mother was crazy with 3 children alone. I can't say I blame her. I think the key is to get some alone time. Get your dh to take them on a weekend so you can sleep in one day, get a sitter 1 or 2 a week if you can afford it or get a friend/family to babysit. GL !
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I totally relate. I have a 3yo and a 19mo. I love them madly and am happy I have been home this long, but I am looking to go ack to work. I've been out of work for nearly 4 years, the longer I'm out, the harder it will be to get back in. I just miss having something "for me." I tink I will be a much more focused, more patient parent when I am a more fulfilled individual. It's the feminine mystique. And to those bashing a nanny - you need to find the right caregiver. Maybe a caregiver/preschool combo. And trust me, it's a lot easier to care for kids when it's only a few hours a day vs 24/7. Good luck. I know it can be tough.
[ Reply | Options ]I was the complete opposite. When I was working, I came home late and exhausted, and had very little patience for my kids. We hardly spent any time together, because I was so tired and just wanted to sleep or rest silently. Now that I am a SAHM, I am so much more patient, and so much more rested than I ever was. I also have a lot more attention to give to my husband, since I don't feel like I need to spend ever minute of the evening with my kids, because we are together all day. I've only been a SAHM for a few months, but I still shudder thinking about the awful time I had working away from home.
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Which is totally fine, but you've got to realize that not everyone is the same--not every WOHM is stressed and exhausted and not everyone loves being at home all the time. Personally I found working part-time perfect when DC was small and now work from home which is wonderful--wish we all had more flexibility and choices.
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I also quit working to stay home with my two kids (4.5 and 1.5), and at first it was a huge shock for me. But, that wore off so quickly. We are always so busy, and there's so much to do. I've never felt so fulfilled about the work I did in the office, and whenever I feel like I miss my expensive sushi lunches with my work girlfriends I remember how much I missed my sons, and how much of their life and my own I was missing out on by being away from them during the day.
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, I have felt this way but it helps to get connected... join a playgroup, get a mother's helper or regular babysitter just to take the pressure off a few hours a week. Go on a walk every day. Of course it's easy to say and hard to get started, but if you make it your goal to accomplish one non-child-care related thing a day (such as call a local college to see if you can hire a helper through them; go to the local public library and find out when they have baby lapsits and toddler activities, which are great places to meet other mothers; look at a sitter website; find a local Yahoo group or meetup group for mothers in your area) then you can slowly bootstrap your way back to sanity.
[ Reply | Options ]We all have different requirements for alone time and adult time. Is your 2 yr old in classes? I would sign her/him up for one. It's good socialization and will get them out of your hair for a bit. Plus you will meet the other parents in the class and that will be huge for you. As for the 6mo old. Put the child on a schedule. Better for them, better for you. A rested baby is a much easier and healthier baby.
[ Reply | Options ]I am a SAHM and have been for the last 4 years and can totally understand how you feel. It is hard, it can be isolating, it can be depressing. Don't feel bad for having those feelings. Some weeks are better than others. If you feel your kids don't like you it could be they sense how you are feeling and are responding to others who are not feeling depressed. I know when I'm having a down day my daughter responds differently to me. What I would suggest is getting in some mommy and me classes. They can be really fun and your able to meet other moms. Try to get as much sleep as possible. You would be amazed how much sleep deprivation can affect your mood. Try to eat lots of fruit, veggies and proteins. Proper nutrition seems to help me. Take a ...
[ Reply | Options ]Believe me, your kids love you. They are very young and you will see that things change incredibly as they get older. Your two y/o is so secure that she can reach out to others and of course your baby cries - it's normal. You don't see this now but you are doing the best for them now by being there for them. What you need to do is sign your two y/o up for classes and she'll love the social interaction and you'll love getting out and just being around other moms. Other moms there will have young babies too and you'll feel a lot more in your element with other people who have young dc. Playgroups and get together stem from this. I went thru this too and taking classes was the best thing I could have done.
[ Reply | Options ]it would be nice once in a while if some sahm's would admit that they are staying home for their own reasons and not necessarily for their children--it is a very convenient excuse to hide behind your kids--but the fact is that it requires a lot of fortitude and courage to be a wohm and not everyone has the stomach for it--and I would bet there are a lot of mother's who chose to opt out simply because they can't hack it and it has nothing to do with dc's. Not all....some..Just like there are wohm's who admit they like to work (myself included).
[ Reply | Options ]This is so not a SAHM vs. WOHM issue, IMO. Find me a woman that had two kids in less than two years that DIDN'T feel like she needed anti-anxiety/depression meds at some point! It gets easier, you just have to hang in there. I was a WOHM with DC that age and I don't feel like getting a job is going to do much to improve your sanity or outlook.
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[-]Hi- Someone on here once gave me a website that made fabulous personalized baby blankets and I lost the website! They are stroller blankets with the name repeated over and over on both sides. Anyone know the name of the company? They come in a million colors... Many thanks!
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[-]parents who co-sleep with their dc -- what are the pluses and minuses? why did you choose to do so?
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17 months. she decided that it was time. she wouldn't settle in our bed and we put up a pack and play. she took to it in minutes. (no CIO, etc.) before that she wanted to sleep next to me. it actually was days after weaning that she stopped. I can't imagine BF without cosleeping, actually. would be really really hard at night.
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[-]What is the best baby monitor for twins? I have an audior monitor for my son but was thinking of getting a video monitor for the new babies. I will also still be using my son's monitor for him, so one that does not get a lot of interference is important. I have also seen video monitors that have 2 cameras, this may be good for when the babies are each in their own crib. HELP! TIA.
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[-]When did you feel baby moving during pregnancy second time vs. first time? First time I felt baby around 19 weeks/20 weeks...this time 16 weeks and nothing yet. I expected to feel movement sooner, I guess.
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[-]I am 30 weeks pregnant. I think i may have h1n1 (got vaccination on past monday, but thinks it takes a little while to kick in). I called ob and got doctor on call (not my ob), who immediately suggested Tamiflu. He did not ask a lot of questions, but recommended Tamiflu without any hesitation. any thoughts???
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friends in the uk had to take it. apparently it only shortens the flu by 1 day. also, the side effects are pretty severe (diarrhea and vomiting).
[ Reply | Options ]fwiw - i took tamiflu twice when pregnant the second time (h1n1 not even on the horizon as we knew it) at the recommendation of a high risk ob (first child was a micro preemie). dc was born at 41 weeks, almost 10 pounds and perfect 10 on apgar. i think the point right now is to keep you as far from the brink of h1n1 hell as possible. good luck and i hope you feel better soon.
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