[-]Discouraged about post-baby body. Was in really good shape, and even now am no slacker. But abs are just so stretched out, they don't hold my belly in like they should. I still look pregnant. I am doing all the right things, exercise-wise. When will this change?
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Your abdominal muscles might have separated. Mine did. To check, lie on your back and do a little crunch. If your stomach sinks in (like a hole) then your muscles have separated. It is called Diastasis Recti. Mine is extremely bad but I had twins and got super stretched out. I am trying to figure out how to correct it. I think I need surgery.
[ Reply | Options ]I had that, and did pilates with a sports medicine guy to correct it. Very specific exercises. My insurance paid for it, since I was diagnosed as having diastasis. It really worked, I was amazed, as my doctor was talking surgery to correct it.
[ Reply | Options ]How bad was yours? Was it one small spot or did it extend all the way from top to bottom of abdomen? I am so discouraged about mine right now. It is hard to imagine that pilates or any exercise could correct it (not that I do not believe you - I am just feeling overwhelmed).
[ Reply | Options ]It was big, also had hernia at belly button. I was amazed at the results, but I was made to work very hard by instructor, and it is very specific, small exercises for this condition, so definitely only try this approach with someone who knows what they are doing in terms of diastasis. You would be surprised how many trainers know nothing about it.
[ Reply | Options ]Okay. that is what I need to do. I have the belly button hernia too. I had that even from my first pg with singleton. What do I do? Go to my regular doctor for a diagnosis? Or OB? Not sure where to start. Gosh who will watch my kids while I go for treatments. I don't know if I can swing this. Maybe I need my mom to retire first. Can too much time pass before you begin?
[ Reply | Options ]My dc was 2 before I got properly diagnosed. Go to Doctor, see if they will refer you to sports medicine, or therapist that your insurance accepts...If not, then pay for a session with good person once a month, and have them write notes for you on exactly what to do at home. All we ever used was one of those big rubber balls.
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I thought that that was the case with my abs and then I did T-Tapp and my abs looked better than before (and I'd had a c-section).
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website is www.t-tapp.com - you can look at it for yourself. i found it effective.
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[-]Our whole family has swine flu. My fever has been gone for 2 days but I still have the awful cough with (sorry, TMI) green phlegm. Supposed to go to SIL's baby shower tomorrow. This is a big occasion for her, and I don't want to miss it. However, I've done some research and while it's not concrete, general consensus is that I'm still contagious if I'm coughing. Should I ask SIL if she still wants me there, or should I go? DH thinks I'm being dramatic and trying to get out of going. I think I'm being considerate of the other shower guests. WDYT?
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I wouldn't go and I wouldn't want to be around someone whose whole family had swine flu particularly when I am pregnant.
[ Reply | Options ]OP here: Thanks, guys. I think it's spectacularly bad form to bring my sick ass to a gathering in a small enclosed space, too! I keep telling him that I'd LOVE to get out of the apartment (I've been cooped up since Sunday night with three sick kids) and gab and eat cake. It's not that. I just don't think it's right. SIL had the vax, but there are other people to consider.
[ Reply | Options ]I think your DH probably does not understand the risk to pregnant women and the general cautious feelings, even paranoia, of pregnant women and the people who love them! Call your SIL and explain that you really want to be there but that it doesn't seem very wise. I think she will be grateful.
[ Reply | Options ]You are not contagious if you have been fever free for 24 hours. With a pregnant SIL I might be overly cautious and go with 48 hours. The cough means nothing if there is not a fever.
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[-]db likes to sleep on breast. i would like to substitute pacifier when she begins to nod off but haven't found one she really likes. any suggestions?
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]My dd loves the Playtex ones where the nipple is made of silicone. They have the ages on them too such as 6 month+ and if you can find them get the Ortho Pro Playtex ones. These ones are made to not ruin their teeth.
[ Reply | Options ]sorry no real help, but for my DD she only likes a very specific swiss brand. it is totally and completely ridiculous. Just try one of every one you can get your hands on and try to make them soft first (boil as directed, and then squish them with your fingers, etc.)
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op: on one hand i'm happy to not have to wean her, but our bed time "ritual" is her falling asleep on the breast and lying there for about 20 mins before i can put her in her bed. i wonder if i can get her to take a pacifier if it would help someone else put her to bed.
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[-]I am really REALLY mad about the fact that some of the Big Wall Street firms (ie: Goldman, Citi) and the NYSE comandeered H1N1 vaccinations before many, many OBs and Peds in NYC. Some of the firms got more vaccine than even the hospitals have received. I am 30 weeks pg with asthma and I have a 21 month old son. We are going to drive 1.5 hours today (one way) for the *glimmer* of a hope to get the vaccine (unfortunately it will not be thimerosol free but I really don't know what my options are at this point). I feel like not only has Wall Street messed up our world economy, now they are effectively saying "our lives are potentially more important than yours or that of your children." I would LOVE to see some moms from this board organiz...
99 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I just watched the coverage about this on the Today show. The problem is that GS, Citi, etc. probably played by the rules and just applied for a share of the vaccine and NYS gave them a share. The problem is that Wall Street has such a bad reputation that the blame goes to them and not the State that actually allowed it. The right thing for Wall Street would have been to donate their share to a local hospital and ask their employees to stand in line with all the other people that don't work for them.
[ Reply | Options ]I really don't understand people's outrage. These companies applied for the vaccines like any other entity, paid for it, and got it. If you want medicine to be completely govt. run then get behind your president and change the health care policy. But as it stands these firms have not done anything wrong, and are simply protecting their workers which I commend them for.
[ Reply | Options ]How do you explain that Lenox Hill Hospital got the exact same number of vaccines as Goldman Sachs did? I agree this is a problem with how the state is distributing the vaccines and it's always been like this that companies with medical offices can apply for a share. Nobody did anything legally wrong but there are ethical implications. Let's not talk about image.
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Ordinary people work for these firms. You do understand that, right? PG women, people with small children, and people with health problems just like you. Are you saying you think their lives are less important because of who they work for?
[ Reply | Options ]No, I think people are saying that the high risk groups are not over represented at GS - (ie no children, pregnant women make up a very small percentage of their work force) and the vax were not ONLY given to pregnant women or asthma suffers. The right, moral thing to do - when GS/Citi saw the shortage would have been to donate theirs to peds/hospital in order to vax the AT RISK groups and allow their non at risk employees to wait. But right and moral have a hard time finding a place in Wall Street Firms.
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If you don't like the rules, complain to the government. These firms played by the rules and got the vaccines, you can't blame them for that.
[ Reply | Options ]I think this is a big part of what is wrong with society today. Yes, you can blame them. There is and always has been the letter of the law and the spirit of the law. We should not excuse questionable behavoir, by saying well... they did follow the rules. We need individual and collective moral people. As moms, are we trying our best to teach childrent to get whatever they can as long as they find a loophole - or are we teaching them to be kind, thoughtful, considerate and sometimes sacriface for someone else?
[ Reply | Options ]So if your pediatrician got his supply and can give it to you, but the local hospital needs it, you would donate it? Come on.
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I actually think there is going to be a big backlash. I almost think these guys are going to need armed guards because some crazy is going to take a gun and shoot them. It just keeps getting worse. The favoritism, the bonuses, now the flu vaccine. Let the bail me out. Obama is in Goldman's pocket and they do think they are better than the great unwashed.
[ Reply | Options ]Morgan Stanley disingenuously "donated" their ONE THOUSAND vaccines to area hospitals. There is a vulgar irony to this. And for those defending these cos., how many pregnant women, young children, etc. really high risk people? My dr had the shot and my ped still doesn't so my 1 yr old is still waiting while mr/ms muckity muck doesn't? hmmm.
[ Reply | Options ]this is absurd. how does one disingenuously donate anything? Back when these were ordered nobody knew there was going to be a big delay in the production of the vaccine. The company thought it was getting its fair allotment and then when it was clear there was a shortage they donated them back. You're showing your colors as a bitter hater, which just voids your "opinion" since it's irrational.
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The problem is that there's a shortage - full stop. The school district next door to us has the vaccine, ours doesn't. Yet I'm not trying to assemble an angry mob against them.
[ Reply | Options ]But its a school, not an IB largely populated by healthy middle age men and women not "high risk" categories. So you can remove your halo now.
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^^^available for everyone that is high-risk. That's the heart of the issue, and it's not Wall Street's fault. Someone with your profile that happened to work for Goldman Sachs would be just as "worthy" of a vaccine as you are.
[ Reply | Options ]np: then why are people at GS who are not in the high risk group being given the vaccine. that's completely irresponsible.
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, that would be irresponsible if true (which I'm not sure it is - I read that only high-risk employees were being vaccinated). But that's not the OP's issue - she's pissed they even got the vaccine in the first place, regardless of how they're using it. Like if the principal of my neighboring school took all her vaccines home and passed them out to friends and family, that would be irresponsible also.
[ Reply | Options ]If you are at GS, you need to be in a high-risk group. A friend of mine is pg and she had to stand in line with others and be screened by a nurse before being alowed to get the shot. When they hand out the regular seasonal flu-shot it takes about 30 seconds to go in, read the pamphlet and get the shot.
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As another mother waiting for the vaccine for her 3 young children, I understand the frustration but let's direct it where to the agency that is mishandling this situation. The NY State Health Department and the NY City Health Department are responsible for distributing the vaccine to facilities and agencies that have applied for them. It is NYCHD's responsibility to say who is a priority group and they have been (re)instructed by the CDC to insure that health care workers, pregnant women, kids etc are vaccinated first. I can't stand GS or Citi either but it's not their fault that they've been given the vaccine in lieu of higher priority groups. Picketing Wall St is pointless... if you have a beef, take it to State Health Commissioner R...
[ Reply | Options ]I agree with you, but maybe I'll start a new post: Why doesn't GS get their sh*t together and work on their public image? For a "successful" firm, they seem clueless.
[ Reply | Options ]Which is an entirely different question than: How dare GS go thorough proper channels to obtain 200 flu shots for their high risk employees?
[ Reply | Options ]yes, but they should have been smarter to manage this information better. It's common sense. A PR person would do them a world of good. I can think of a thousand ways that they could have put this info out there in a better manner. They don't seem to realize they have a PR problem.
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OP here: I am getting ready to leave for the long car ride now. I am glad for the debate that this has generated. I would be happy to know that the vaccines that went to GS, NYSE, etc. truly went to those at high-risk (of course, their employees have the opportunity to get to doctors like we do, so why didn't their doctors get the doses)? Anyway, if high-risk ppl got it, great. But what I got from the interview with the head of the health dept in NY was him throwing up his hands and saying, basically, "It's up to the companies to decide who's high risk." Let me guess... the guy at the top who has high BP? C'mon... Anyway, regardless of how you stand on this issue, please wish me luck that we can get the shot -- we are basically trav...
[ Reply | Options ]Please, if you are THAT worried, quarantine yourself and your db until flu season is over. There isn't enough vaccine to go around, period, so even if GS and MS didn't get any that still doesn't mean it would make your plight ANY different. And for God's sake, stop watching the news and reading this board. Your getting yourself way too worked up over this.
[ Reply | Options ]and here, you can read this so you feel better about not getting the flu shot: http://www.aolhealth.com/health/fall-health/flu-shot-desiree-jennings?icid=main|main|dl2|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aolhealth.com%2Fhealth%2Ffall-health%2Fflu-shot-desiree-jennings
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You can't listen to the sensationalist media's bent on this and trust it. They are trying to get people stirred up, and it is working. GS got 200 vaccines and are distributing them to their own high-risk employees, such as people with asthma and elderly people. Every GS exec is not getting the vaccine. And the GS workers who are getting the vaccine through work are as deserving of it as any other non GS-employed at-risk person.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm 30 weeks pregnant and have been searching for the H1N1 shot. My ob @ Columbia Pres can't get it. I've been calling everywhere. After hearing about Goldman I decided to call them to see if I could 'buy' a shot. At first they said - no, sorry, none left. I then told them I was an investor and the guy told me to hold on as he was transferring me to their nurse. The nurse said they used all their shots the same day they received them. I'm still frustrated but I find it more annoying that I was given the brush off until I claimed to be an investor.. then they were happy to try to help.
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[-]Would you hire a nanny that you really liked, but didn't have infant experience? DC is 14 mo and #2 is due in 3 months. I would be home for 6 weeks to provide instruction. Nanny has only cared for kids aged 3 and up. TIA.
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No infant experience at all or none as a nanny. I know nannies who had younger siblings or large extended families, so they've cared for infants but not on a daily basis. It depends on your level of comfort. If you feel experienced enough to teach her, then go for it.
[ Reply | Options ]I probably would. I think the infant stuff can be picked up quickly, and she should be great with your dc who may need some extra fun and attention. Having someone good with toddlers is invaluable IMO.
[ Reply | Options ]I don't know, it's not the newborn care I'd be worried about, because there's not much to diaper changing and holding. But taking care of a 3 yo is different than taking care of a 9 month or 14 month old.
[ Reply | Options ]We did this. Former teacher, great refs, 3 kids and 1 grandkid of her own! It was terrible. She had no understanding of how to connect w/ an infant (3 months old). Our dd screamed and screamed with her. One day I took the day off to stay home and observe. When dd cried, she didn't really pick her up, or interact with her. She held a toy over her head instead. Fired her after 3 weeks. Problem is the lack of real professional references evaluating skills w/ infants. Might be ok if you have lots of time to observe yourself during a trial period. We were THRILLED with our next nanny, btw.
[ Reply | Options ]I would say no. There are a lot of things that new mothers are paranoid about that a caretaker might not be so careful about - holding up their head, making sure the bottle's not too hot, changing the diaper enough to avoid diaper rash, etc., etc. You want to have peace of mind with your nanny, and you might not with someone who is inexperienced.
[ Reply | Options ]Yes. IMO her core character and work ethic are much more important than experience. My first long term nanny had no childcare experience, but she had amazing work references. She was awesome. Kind, loving, responsible, hard working, never late, etc. You can teach the skills if you have a good person and a motivated learner. That said, when we had our 3rd we ended up going with a nanny who was herself a mom of 3. Caring for 3dc is rare in NYC and wanted someone who could really handle it.
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[-]2.5 month old db lasts about 5-10 minutes with dh when he gets home from work before she starts to cry for me. when will it get better so i can have a break? anyone btdt?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]do you let her cry for a little bit? if you go to her immediately, she is bound to keep it up. she may need a little gentle encouragement to get to know her dad is a good caregiver too! try to leave her with him a little bit longer every day.
[ Reply | Options ]i leave her with him and give suggestions on what works for me. he will try (only for a few moments) and then come and stand by me until i take her. i try to make it longer, but then it is punishing for both of them.
[ Reply | Options ]^^ also, better when earlier in the day, like on weekends or in the morning before work when she will happily spend 30 mins with him, but she is cranky by the evening even when she is well-napped.
[ Reply | Options ]oh, that's REALLY hard if he is not willing to work with you! it sounds like he needs to make a bigger effort to learn to be with her. it's hard--some parents have a lot of trouble relating to babies. it may be a lot easier for your dh to care for her when she gets a little older. in the meantime, he should try some different techniques, though--you need a break!
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[-]What do early signs of kicking feel like? I'm going on 11 weeks and have been feeling as if I've had terrible gas/bloating all day that has come and gone. Is that the first signs of this little one moving around that I can feel?
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I believe that's too early. I remember watching my twins moving around, kicking, etc. on ultrasound at 11 weeks and I couldn't feel a thing. I didn't start feeling anything until 20 weeks. Now, at 23 weeks, I can clearly feel it on the inside, but not from the outside yet. Hard to describe, but it just feels like babies poking me from the inside!
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earliest you'll feel the baby with the first pregnancy is likely 18 weeks. Earlier with subsequent pregnancies.
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[-]Needs advice! I'm the previous "my SIL lives 10 mins. away" poster. I want to schedule a playdate for the cousins at a local children's toy store. I am mainly not interested in having any closesness w/ this SIL, because my other SIL & MIL are toxic beyond belief. This particular SIL is somewhat close to them....Do I preface the invite with I'd like the kids to get together, but I would like it to be about them and that I'm not interested in involving any other family drama. I worked really hard on myself and in therapy to deal with some of these issues, I'm fearful about going backwards in life?!
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]no, I wouldn't bring it up. You need to develope coping skills to deal with these people since you can't ignore them. Prepare some standard replies that are ready to toss out if the SIL starts a touchy topic. You can make it clear at that time that you don't want to have that discussion. Be polite, but be firm. She'll get the idea that you aren't going to react or engage. Good luck
[ Reply | Options ]I wouldn't bring it up, unless the MIL or other SIL was mentioned. I'm torn. This SIL is very delusional and immature. However, she has a new baby and lost her Mother a few years ago. I have a soft spot in my heart and want the kids to get the chance to meet-up. My MIL will take this as well, then we are all spending the XMAS together and will try to tear down the boundaries. I feel so torn, since I have to be firm. What do I say?
[ Reply | Options ]I'd say... let's just enjoy the day and not talk about family. If she presses for drama, then you can decrease the contact. Am glad you've worked on the issues and agree that you don't want to go backwards, but I think you can face these people and stay above the problems. It might take a few tries, but it's all good practice
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I wouldn't mention anything about not wanting to discuss family drama. Just keep it casual and see how it goes. If it becomes a drama rama fest just leave and don't do it again. FWIW I don't even know my SIL on my husband's side. MY DH hasn't spoke to his brother in over 5 years so it could be worse.
[ Reply | Options ]Why do I feel torn? I have a huge plate full right now. I want to be the better person, but why do I have to prove it. I think your'e right, to keep it casual. It would be, so long as its not at my home.
[ Reply | Options ]Keep it casual, short and sweet. If the family drama, other family members are brought up, look her in the eye and, in the nicest tone possible (with perhaps a hint of humor) tell her you've been through enough therapy to know you can't have this conversation. Thank her for understanding and redirect the conversation. If it comes up at all, her response will let you know the future possibilities. I do think that you should do it though. The fact that you are considering it at all tells me it is the right thing for you to do. I speak from experience, one cousin has maintained a relationship with me and our kids and one hasn't. It bothers me that the one who hasn't has chosen this path. But I know I offered more and it gives me some peace of ...
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[-]how much and for how long does/did your 3 month old db nap?
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[-]When the milestone says "drink from a cup," they mean sippy or straw cup, right? Or do they mean like a cup with no lid?
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]no, drinking from a cup means an open cup. it was a milestone well before sippy cups were invented!
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[-]11 weeks pregnant w/no. 3...have two boys and although all I pray for is a healthy baby I had the hope it would be a girl this time... She said that even though it is too early to confirm sex of the baby, if she could take a guess by looking at the shape of the baby's pelvis she would say 70% it's another boy... Can this be pretty accurate? anyone?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I really don't think it could be that accurate at this point. Also, don't you kind of love the idea of being the queen of your kingdom, with all your boys running around!
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If you get a good angle, I think it can be pretty easy to determine sex by 11 weeks. I found out my twins were boys at 12 weeks. The doc asked if I wanted to know (I did) and he showed me the money shot and before he even told me I said, "oh, they are boys!" Anyway, I have 3 boys and LOVE it. I used to think a girl would be nice but now I would not change a thing.
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[-]so mad at DH right now. Have 2 1/2 yo and am 30 weeks with twins. he was so unhelpful with first baby. now he refuses to even think about getting some help (baby nurse or doula) for new babies. we can afford it but he is claiming I spend too much money on things (not true at all) and that it's too expensive.
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[-]how long did you wait before taking a pg test? expecting period tuesday and really anxious.
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[-]What do you think of father of two-week-old (first baby) going to all the Yankees games, home and away?
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Hopefully he's in the 'I'm still adjusting to it not being all about me' phase. Hopefully for you he'll snap out of it quickly.
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Well, my sister is married to a Yankee and she has faced this situation. In her case, acceptable. I also have another friend whose DH works for the franchise and must go to most games - also acceptable. What is your situation?
[ Reply | Options ]I don't think this is a very big deal unless he always has 'a game'. If the World Series was an isolated event, then I say roll with it. The first two weeks of a baby's life are - for the most part - pretty boring. But if this guy always has to be somewhere else doing something else and the WS was just in a long line of events then that is going to be more of a problem...
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