[-]i am having my first miscarriage. i am going in for a d&c next monday. this pregnancy was the result of ivf (my second cycle) so i have missed a good amount of work for my egg retrieval, transfer adn all the monitoring. my boss hasnt asked any questions and has been totally accomodating. i havent told her what is going on, but thinking that maybe i should just to not seem like i am taking advantage... thougths?
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I would tell her that you need Monday off b/c you have a doctor's appointment. It's direct but if she asks why you need the whole day off you might have to tell her. Maybe you could also send her an e-mail and tell her that way, if it would be to emotional for you to do it in person. Tell her also that you appreciate how accommodating she has been through all of this before you tell her that you need the day off.
[ Reply | Options ]Sorry! It is a bit awkward. I would just say it is a procedure related to IVF. Offer to work some time this weekend to make up for missed time. I would rather that than feel that boss is too intimate with my life. It makes them think less of you.
[ Reply | Options ]she doesnt know that i am goingthrough ivf now either (i just returned from maternity leave earlier this year too)
[ Reply | Options ]Could you just call in with suspected flu? Naughty, but the perfect excuse at the moment.
[ Reply | Options ]thats probably what i am going to do. i just feel badly about all the work i am missing - preschool application process, doc appts for 15yo DS, ivf monitoring.... it just feels like i am taking advantage...
[ Reply | Options ]Maybe offer to do a couple of hours extra here and there, or finish up something at the weekends? Boss will appreciate acknowledgement of their flexibility.
[ Reply | Options ]I would even take Monday and Tuesday, get doctor to write a note saying you should not return to work until wednesday..rest up, and get ready for another round. I have started arranging doctors visits at weekends, and some pks do weekend visits too...it is a fulltime job doing the pk thing, as well as working, and not feeling well. Look after yourself..GL
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It depends on your relationship with your boss. I told mine when I had a miscarriage since I had to miss work. We weren't close, but his wife had had a few mcs and he was extremely understanding. I think it's better to explain that you are having a miscarriage than say "it's a procedure related to IVF" and most people will be very understanding. Unless you think your boss will have an issue with you becoming pregnant, I think telling her the truth is best in this case.
[ Reply | Options ]How would your boss react if she knew that you are trying to get pregnant? Is your office environment supportive of pregnant women and moms? If so, I think I would tell her because you have will likely try IVF again (right?) and it will just be easier to have it out there. But only you can know what is best for your situation. Sorry about the mc. My heart goes out to you.
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[-]My DH looks just like Pete from Mad Men, except DH is blonde. Who does your DH look like?
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[-]trying again: any recommendations for a dentist? can be any nabe. tia.
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Dr. James Hudson in Roc Centre. Have been a patient of his for 11 years. He's really lovely and professional. Would never recommend a procedure that wasn't absolutely necessary. Over the years, have recommended at least a dozen people to him (DH included) and every single one ended up becoming a patient.
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[-]Anyone ever dye their hair from bright blonde to dark blonde/light brown? no time/extra money to get to the salon before vacation this weekend and roots are BAD! my natural color is dark blonde, looking to get closer to my natural color. have previously dyed my hair on my own, but never light to dark. any tips?
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]try clairol perfect 10, and go no more than 2 shades darker than your current color. light to dark is much easier to do at home than dark to light.
[ Reply | Options ]if your hair is highlighted, then dying it at home can be precarious bc highlighted hair is already treated and won't take new color the same way as the untreated hair. so you could end up with a mix of colors on your head. i would be more inclined to go someplace that can sqeeze you in for a quick touch up, then to mess w it at home.
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[-]I understand why women who had natural births feel that it's an accomplishment. I had an epidural with my 1st and had a great experience. Completely planned on doing that again with #2. Unfortunately, he came very quickly and I went drug-free. The pain is ridiculous, but it's all mental. It could have been a very zen experience where I was learning to control mind over matter, which is what I think those who know they'll do it drug-free try to accomplish. Instead, I was screaming my face off. I give kudos to anyone who would do that willingly.
125 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I had a similar experience, my first I went natural because of how quick it was and I was definitly in pain, and letting everyone around me know. The second time I knew going in that I would more than likely not be able to get any drugs and tried to focus on how to prepare myself to stay calm and though it was still incredibly painfull it was a million times better!! Now due with number 3 and trying to prepare myself again.
[ Reply | Options ]i still think most people who do that willingly feel like they have something to prove. maybe not all of them, but alot of the women i know do it for that reason for sure.
[ Reply | Options ]People who go to certain schools have something to prove, so do athletes, musicians and rock climbers. With childbirth, there is a satisfaction in achieving that and many women have natural births because they feel its better for them and their dc.
[ Reply | Options ]An OB/GYN once told me that "natural childbirth" is v birth -- with or without drugs. She got annoyed with people discounting v birth (with drugs) as NOT being natural. So let's say natural childbirth with or without drugs, and not knock women who decide to use the drugs. Why in the world would you not choose to use this medical advance if you could? Of course, some situations don't allow for it, and I feel for women who have to go without. God bless you.
[ Reply | Options ]why would we choose it? Because it's better for the baby and better for the mother.
[ Reply | Options ]nope. try again. or is this what makes you feel superior to everyone else on the planet?
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Drugs make their way to the baby, which cause a sedative effect. This has been proven. Why are you so intent on ignoring facts?
[ Reply | Options ]actually, that hasn't been proven at all, and i defy you to post a link to a study that shows otherwise.
[ Reply | Options ]The website of the American Pregnancy Association, the natl org. or OBGYNs, enumerates multiple risks of epidurals on the following website, including the following summary of available research, which acknowledges that research is "somewhat" ambiguous, it also notes that babies of epidural mothers have respiratory distress, bf'ing difficulty, and fetal heart rate variability. " Though research is somewhat ambiguous, most studies suggest some babies will have trouble "latching on" which can lead to breastfeeding difficulties. Other studies suggest that the baby may experience respiratory depression, fetal malpositioning; and an increase in fetal heart rate variability, which may increase the need for forceps, vacuum, cesarean deliveries and...
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Why do you have to talk down to women who choose it? I have had 3 natural childbirths because I had an epidural with the first (I have 4 kids) and I *really* didn't like how it felt. I also feel my recoveries were faster with the natural chidlbirths. Have I proven something? Am I smug? NO. But it worked for me and I don't like your attitude of 'why in the world...' as if anyone who chooses med-free birth is dysfunctional.
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Eh, some do, but some don't. I would seriously consider it only bc I have a terrible reaction to drugs & my mother got permanent nerve damage from her last epi, so I'm scared shitless of that. I am not an earth-mother or anything like that, I just like the idea of quicker recovery time & no needle in my spine.
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i don't think it's an accomplishment because you don't gain anything from it. you can get a perfectly healthy baby with an epidural. it's like holding your hand over an open flame without flinching. is that an accomplishment? not in my book.
[ Reply | Options ]I feel like once you get an epidural it invites many more interventions by the MDs, most of which I feel are unnecessary and benefit the Drs more than the mother or the baby (does anyone really know effects of all these procedures on babies? I don't think they've been well studied, personally - and I'm not sure that a decent study is even possible). And result in the 30%+ c-section rate, which is definitely NOT in the mother's best interest.
[ Reply | Options ]I made my decision to do natural for the same reasons. Its not something I "urge" on other women necessarily, but based on what I had read, I was concerned that an epidural could increase my chances of having a c-section, which I very much wanted to avoid. Its also why I chose to work with a midwife.
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Epidurals can lead to many other complications. Our bodies were made to give birth and we undergo a multitude of chemical changes when we give birth naturally which are beneficial for the mom and the baby. Its not an ego thing, but yes an accomplishment none the less.
[ Reply | Options ]Cancer is a natural process also. Does that mean we should endure it without chemo or pain control since that's what nature intended?
[ Reply | Options ]NP: if it made it more likely that you would survive cancer w/o complications, then maybe yes. However, that's really not the case, is it? Chemo will cure cancer that would otherwise be fatal. Pain Mngmt will not make it worse/affect outcome. Can you really not see the difference between birth and cancer?
[ Reply | Options ]are you saying you have evidence to support the idea that NOT getting an epidural increases neonatal survival? the "it's natual" argument is really one of the silliest and weakest around. you want no epi, go for it. but don't try to imply it's somehow inherently better because "it's natual."
[ Reply | Options ]YES, of course! It's a medical intervention, and as ALL medical interventions, it has risks. One of them is increase in c-section rates, which is a serious surgical procedure, that has its own death rate, etc. Others include other side effects. Not saying that it's never worth it to have an epi (or a c-section for that matter), just that it has risks and I am not convinced that for a non-high-risk delivery these risks are justified.
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this is just propaganda perpetuated by the pro-natural birth types. it's simply not true.
[ Reply | Options ]np: that epidurals lead to many other complications? that is true! i had an epidural. but in doing so, i recognized that there are trade-offs. for me, the pain was so bad that i chose the epidural. but epidurals do up the chances that you will have to get a c-section, which is major surgery after all.
[ Reply | Options ]no, they don't. the only increased risk is an instrumental delivery, and even this doesn't control for the possibility that the women who opted for epidural pain control did so because their labor was more painful related to a predisposing likelihood of instrumental delivery.
[ Reply | Options ]this study properly controlled for whether or not studies randomized epidurals and found a 2 fold risk of c-sections for those given epidurals: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1481670/
[ Reply | Options ]single studies are relatively meaningless. even the repeat cochrane (gold standard) in 2005 showed no increased rate of cs.
[ Reply | Options ]Ugh. This is NOT a study. It's a statistical data rehash. If you don't understand what you are posting, please don't post. There should be a license required to access pubmed.
[ Reply | Options ]a statistical reanalysis is indeed a study. if you don't understand what a study is, please don't post.
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np: actually, you sound kind of arrogant and obtuse. if you have a point to make, please make it. but it sounds like you have no real rebuttal to whatever study that poster put up a link to right now.
[ Reply | Options ]Do your own research - assuming you actually know how. I have neither the time nor energy to do a lit search, then explain stats and study design to you. If you can't do this yourself and want to engage in discussions about evidence-based medicine, perhaps go back to school to learn how.
[ Reply | Options ]NNP: Oh my gosh, i think i remember this poster from a breastfeeding discussion a couple weeks back. Somebody posted all these links about how breastfeeding hasn't been shown to have any benefits, and she kept telling telling everyone to "do their own research" when they asked her to support her view (that it has lots of benefits). Ask her to post a link! She will keep saying it over and over, no matter how many people confront her. It's kind of fun.
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and what are effects of instrumental delivery on a child? does anyone know? also, there are many many other side effects of epidurals (including as severe as potential paralysis for the mom)
[ Reply | Options ]the risk of instrumental deliveries are significant. however, it is nearly impossible to control for pain/epidural usage and any preexisting L&D issues which would impact a laboring woman's decision to have the epidural *independent* of the increased risk of an instrumental delivery.
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NP: please, prove me wrong if you can, but I believe that we currently don't have any sort of real handle on the risks associated with epidurals. can you link to a study that has randomized them? all of the studies that i am familiar with randomize timing of the epidural (early vs late) but not epidural itself. so we don't know what the risks are. i think it is silly to assume that there are none, however. any kind of intervention is associated with some sort of risks--the are just poorly understood in this case, so it is hard to balance pros/cons.
[ Reply | Options ]I agree, and thanks for stating this so clearly. I thoroughly believe that women need to do their own reading/assessment and make their own decision. Its not clearcut, and obviously there are circumstances that absolutely necessitate epis and c-secs, but go into your labor having formed some of your own opinions.(Posted above and below but not to the "study" debate.)
[ Reply | Options ]there are studies comparing epidural to opiate pain relief that show no difference in cs. but my point was essentially the same as yours - that the risks are not conclusively proven. it's ethically difficult to randomly assign people to pain control vs no pain control regardless of their preference so i doubt we will ever have a conclusive answer.
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yes our bodies are made to give birth but they were made to give birth to babies that were significantly smaller than the babies being born today, so if we can all have 6lb babies we should be fine but our bodies were not made to give birth to 8lb+ babies
[ Reply | Options ]huh? where are you getting this natural weight cut-off info? the birth weight that people can handle is usually related to their size. taller women can usually handle larger babies. as heights have increased, it makes sense that birthweights have also increased. there is nothing unnatural about 8 lb babies (except for in the cases of gestational diabetes, etc.)
[ Reply | Options ]NP: And honestly anatomy varies even across the size of the mom. I gave birth naturally to an 8 lb, 4 oz baby. Non-pregant size is/was 5'4" and 125-ish lbs.
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10.2 lbs, im 5 foot 1 and 125 lbs. No one thought I could do it, pregnant with number 2 now, he is going to be at least 8 according to the doctors now! I dont think height/size have anything to do with whether you can do it naturally or not, lets call it what it is, if you dont want to feel pain, get an epi, no big deal but jsut because we want natural childbirth because its what every woman on earth did before an epi was available, doesnt make me some kind of martyr.
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Having seen women who have given birth naturally and those who have planned natural but gone for epis, I think their experience of labor is completely different. People have different pain threshholds, physically and psychologically. I have seen women literally pass out from pain during labor and women who were not in excruciating pain. It is the women who are lucky enough to not have an unbearable labor experience who were generally willing and able to go natural.
[ Reply | Options ]Oh really?! We did it because it did not really hurt that much. Riiiight..got it.
[ Reply | Options ]That was pretty funny wasn't it??? lol. Because let me just say that having my 9 pound 10 ounce baby without any meds hurt like all holy hell!!! (but I'd still do it again).
[ Reply | Options ]np: uh yeah. Having my baby drug free hurt like nothing I've ever thought possible. But I can't wait to do it again. And I'm one of the people who posted on accomplishments post that it was one of my top 2 accomplishments in life. I worked hard, mentally and physically, to prepare and to achieve that goal.
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OR: It was not meant as a personal insult to state that people have diffent experiences of pain during labor. I'm curious why this offends you and makes you feel like you need to defend the idea that you were in pain? Does the fact that you suffered have anything to do with why you chose a natural childbirth? You don't need to prove that you endured pain to be confident of your decision. None of the women who made the choice with me to have a natural birth ever cited a desire to suffer as a reason why, but of course you are entitled to your own motivations. Anyway, I have been at hundreds of births and have 3 dc, one natural (not by choice). There is no doubt in my mind that labor can be completely different in terms of pain for me personal...
[ Reply | Options ]^completely different in terms of pain for me personally amongst my births, and for all the women I've seen go thru it. There is no right or better choice and suffering more doesn't validate your choice. You don't need validation for a perfectly reasonable decision. My point was that there are factors at play beyond just desire when it comes to natural/epidural. Some women truly have an unbearable pain experience: unbearable as in they could not withstand the pain and needed pain relief available regardless of their ideal birth plan (similar to an extreme example of anyone will eventually reach a pain limit if subject to torture long enough). I just believe that a lot of labor and delivery is beyond our control and no women should feel defe...
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OR: Neither. Supporting a woman's choice to have a natural birth or epidural is the easy part. The challenge is assuaging the guilt of a laboring woman who was certain she would do natural, but simply cannot endure the pain any longer and needs pain relief. Unfortunately, women, their spouse, and their families often put unhealthy and unfair pressures on women to "succeed" at a natural birth. The biggest challenge is helping a woman realize that a healthy birth is a successful one, regardless of how they get there.
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I had two natural births and one (my third) with an epidural. The epidural felt surreal and freaky - how little pain there was during hard labor - but I felt physically better so much faster after the natural births. I have a high pain threshhold though and had reasonablt quick and uncomplicated labors. If I were doing it again I would definitely do natural.
[ Reply | Options ]I don't think that some women have higher pain thresholds. I think that SOME births are easier than others. I had 2 relatively quick, non-medicated births. One was manageable, the other was not (I was a wreck, like the OP described her experience).
[ Reply | Options ]both pain threshold and pain tolerance are variable between individuals. it is absolutely true that some women have higher and some lower pain thresholds. this is not debatable. this combines with different labors to create a subjectively different birth experience between women and even within one woman's mulitple birth experiences.
[ Reply | Options ]I had three deliveries, and three very different pain experiences. It is not all subjective. During one delivery I sustained a very severe tear (4th degree I believe is what they called it), tore through to rectum, THAT was excruciating. The baby presented as posterior AND brow, and should have been delivered by C. He has significant disabilities BTW. We will never know for sure what role the delivery might have played in that too. I bled daily from the wound site for a year. I was in a lousy HMO (midwife delivered) and they kept telling me I was just taking a long time to heal from a very difficult delivery. FInally consulted an MD (at my own expense) outside the HMO a year later, and apparently it looked like I had a no-intervention deliv...
[ Reply | Options ]i am sorry for your experience. but pain threshold is, by definition, subjective. i agree that more severe medically complicated deliveries are, on average, perceived as more painful than uncomplicated ones. if you took 100 volunteers and gave them a superficial laceration or a full-thickness laceration, i agree that all would report a greater degree of pain with the latter. but that has nothing to do with my point, which I stand by, that pain threshold and pain tolerance are subjective experiences, measurable, but subjectively reported differently by different individuals.
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okayyyyy, and for anyone who wants the real facts, I urge you to read "pregnancy, childbirth and the newborn" by Penny Simkin. She not only explains everything that could potentially happen with every single intervention you could have, she does it in a way that makes no one feel inferior for their choices
[ Reply | Options ]what's sad to me-- and i have done a lot of professional research in this area-- is that the entire debate so often centers around the epidural. get one, don't, whatever. the word "natural" should be banned. but what's really lame is UNNECESSARY inductions, episiotomies and c-sections. All of those are really unpleasant things (unlike pain medication). And yet us women are all bitching about who was tough enough for the pain. I had births both ways, the pain is ATROCIOUS. I loved my non medicated and medicated birth. What I hated about the medicated birth was the entire experience ASIDE from the epidural. What I loved about my non-pain medicated birth was the entire experience except for the pain (though I will say the post labor pain eupho...
[ Reply | Options ]I agree with a good 90% of what you're saying, but I don't think most of the women who delivered naturally and are posting about it tonight are priding ourselves on being tough: many of us made a decision that we thought would give us the best chance of avoiding other interventions because we don't have control over a medical system that tends to encourage interventions.
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Until you've delivered a child naturally, you have no idea how incredibly painful, yet wonderful, the birthing of a human being can be.
[ Reply | Options ]The only thing that mattered to me about my pregnancy was the baby it was going to produce. I understand that some women choose to refuse pain meds and why, but that does not make them better people or better mothers. I really don't get why someone would develop some superiority complex over going without an epi, and judge those who do to boot..
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I heard of a woman who delivered an 11lb baby without an epi. Her pelvis broke. Try that without pain meds.
[ Reply | Options ]maybe they'll make a new category for it at the Olympics. Then you all can display your evident superiority to the whole world on television.
[ Reply | Options ]One interesting thing is not the superiority SOME mothers may have about natural childbirth, but the defensiveness of those who did not. Why are women chastising each other for making different choices? It's so pointless.
[ Reply | Options ]ITA. I have had 3 drug-free births and one epidural and I am not smug about either choice. I chose to have drug-free births after the epidural b/c I really did not like the way the epi (and other pain meds) made me feel. I also felt I recovered faster without drugs. I don't understand why EITHER side has to talk down to the other, or why there even have to be 'sides.' We all gave birth. We all have children. The End.
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[-]We're expecting twins, and are very excited! We're interviewing baby nurses, and have spoken to two in particular who seem really wonderful. What's the going daily rate in Manhattan for a live-in baby nurse taking care of two? We will probably hire her for two months.
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I had an agency quote me 225 for a twins 24 hour baby nurse, and another baby nurse quote me $300 for twins. Of course, you can always go higher...
[ Reply | Options ]225 from an agency. Wow, the times, they are a changin'. When I was looking 2 years ago, the agencies were quoting 250-275 for one baby but you could find one directly for 225-250
[ Reply | Options ]We are probably looking at somewhere between 250-350 per day, from baby nurses who are unaffiliated with agencies. We haven't heard anything outrageously expensive, and nothing bargain basement either. We will need a nanny once the baby nurse leaves, but we're on the fence about whether to get someone just for during the day, or for 24 hour care. We're a two-career household. Thoughts?
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When are your twins due? I might be able to help. I am a licensed L&D and NICU nurse, an RN with advanced degrees and certifications. I am a professional baby nurse. I care for moms postpartum needs. I care for the babies overnight. I am a certified lactation consultant, and a red cross cpr instructor. I am Nals certified. I will cook, run errands, shop and do laundry as time permits. I do a great deal of postpartum education. I am fully licensed and insured. I have many references. I offer professional, affordable and quality care for the entire new family. Debbie@travelingbabynurse.com
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[-]Anyone do a walk-in clinic for the H1N1 vacc for their kid in Manhattan? Trying to determine if it's going to be too crazy to go right now or if this is actually a good time.
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I did a weekend clinic for myself and then took my mother to walk in at 3rd and 122nd. Both were fine. Weekend clinic had long lines, but best organized thing I've ever seen. Plenty of monitors, intake people and nurses/doctors. Line was down the block, but took 40 minutes start to finish. Walk in took longer, but really not a problem. Weekend clinics won't vaccinate children under 4.
[ Reply | Options ]I went to teh clinic at 122nd and 3rd also bc they were taking 3 yr olds. I was a little annoyed that they ran out of the one for pregnant women so I couldn't even get it and after 2 hours of waiting the child in front of us got the last regular vaccination but luckily the y had the mist. I'm glad she was able to get something after that wait but we'll now have to go back in a month to get the booster.
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i did it at 82nd and 2nd last weekend. think it is in different spot this weekend. very well organized but do not take kids under 4. took me about 45 min. at 3:30.
[ Reply | Options ]that's great timing. it's in a different place? meaning it wasn't at an actual clinic?
[ Reply | Options ]OR: The weekend clinics are at different sites each weekend. They are free. The other clinics are usually existing clinics and will charge an administration fee. Unless you have a child under 4, I think the weekend clinics are the way to go. I also was at the one at 82nd and 2nd, so don't know if others were as well run, tho.
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[-]I am returning to UrbanBaby after a few years away - why is it that the posts that are on top don't reflect the most recent posting
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I hope you enjoy reading about NY schools, because that's about all anyone posts about these days. It's not like the good old UB from a few years ago. I just came back too. Hoping it will get interesting again.
[ Reply | Options ]Really, I'm interested in NY Schools and it doesn't feel like enough - was busier this summer! (I know it must be torture though if you're not into it.)
[ Reply | Options ]The whole thing is there is a separate place to post for NY schools but nobody posts over there so it all comes here. About 75% of the posts are about schools and it's ANNOYING, that's why the moderators made a separate place for those posts. All these parents who claim they are Ivy league educated and their kids are G&T and they can't even figure out how to post where it belongs.
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[-]toe cleavage - with plain, pointy-toed pumps, toe cleavage is fine, right? some of the tops of the toes show? just got my first pair ever (strange, I know) and i love them but wonder about this.
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[-]We recently moved out of NY and I am really depressed. I don't know how to meet people and my DCs (2.5yo & 8mo) are very demanding. I am hating my life and I am resenting my DCs. I hate feeling like this. I've never dealt with PPD, but I think that is what I am dealing with now. I don't know what to do. I hate waking up in the morning b/c I know it's going to be a ridiculously long day with 2 screaming kids. I'm trying to find a job, but it's been impossible so far. WWYD?
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Get yourself some part-time babysitting (if you can afford it), just to give yourself some time to explore your new area, think about work prospects, etc. I think having even a little break would give you a chance to get some perspective.
[ Reply | Options ]Where are you? City, suburbia, midwest, south? Are their classes, pools to join? Bookstores w/kids are a good diversion w/kids and a good destination when you don't have one.
[ Reply | Options ]Miami. We went to a bookstore yesterday and I wound up buying 3 books that DS tore the covers off. He's really wired right now.
[ Reply | Options ]Moving is a big deal, so I'm sure your kids are wired up from making sense of the transition. That and, well, 2.5 yr olds are CRAZY (I have a ds that age too). Personally, I think Miami is a really fun city. Maybe in addition to getting yourself some free time you could set a goal of exploring a new site/neighborhood at least once a week.
[ Reply | Options ]Thanks. It's taking me a little longer to get around b/c I just got my DL for the first time - native NYer and my parents never put me in driver's ed and I am embarrassed to say that I never learned to drive.
[ Reply | Options ]My husband is one of those, so I get that. Driving some place new can be daunting even to seasoned drivers, but I do think getting out and around will make you feel better. Set small goals for yourself, but keep challenging yourself to do new things that you wouldn't be able to do in NYC.
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Well, we just moved TO New York with two children (5yo and 8mo) and I'm dead depressed. So it may be having two children and moving combined. The youngest one is all over the place and there are boxes everywhere. Hang in there, you're not alone!
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Yes, which is why I find myself unpacking between 11pm and 2am in the morning, while db is almost sure to be sleeping. Right now I hate our new home but when I think of the fun things I could be doing with dh or even our oldest dc, I realize that it's just the combination of city plus baby that I hate. I did hire some mother's helpers recently, some college kids just 8 hours a week, and life is getting better though it's not what I'd call good yet.
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[-]Where can I get a decent sectional couch ($3-4K) on short order (within 1 or 2 weeks) -- PBarn is backordered - anyone else? Will travel...TIA
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[-]Any recommendations for top Crohn's specialist in NYC for the long-term? Looking for that elusive combo of top-notch talent and bedside manner. Any thoughts on Lichtiger, Legnani, Jim Marion?
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you mean the in-house people there - faculty who also practice? or the private practice people who are affiliated with mt sinai. i've seen both types. my sense is that the in-house people are more focused on the disease, but see fewer patients so harder to get appointments (they teach, go to conferences, etc.)
[ Reply | Options ]Had Lichtiger as my GI years ago. He's very sweet but he had me on too much meds at once without making many moves to wean me off. Marion is good. Are you only looking at this group ( 86th st?) Stay away from Rubin. You'll find it hard to get much in the way of bedside manner unfortunately. I've had Crohn's for 23 years now and have had three doctors. Lichtiger the nicest. You might like Dr. Berman- not sure if he's still with the Present/Rubin group but pretty sure he's still at Sinai.
[ Reply | Options ]Lichtiger - seems like a top notch guy, but I'm a little worried about a solo practitioner without partners. Who covers if something goes wrong with him, or he is away at a conference? I guess I'm not sure partners cover for each other much unless an emergency? I'm trying to balance experience with availability too. Also, want a doctor who won't freak out if i seek out a second opinion, is that much too ask for??
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[-]Feeling bummed and frustrated. Our great two-day a week Nanny hasn't been able to replace the other part-time gig that she used to have. Since she needs the income, she's told me that she's having to interview for full-time jobs and asked me to be a reference. Of course, I'll tell the truth and say how great she is, but it really hurts to give a good reference that may likely result in losing her! I completely get that she needs the income; just wish we could afford her full-time. Really just venting.
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]How many days does she need? I'm looking for a part-time nanny... they're hard to find.
[ Reply | Options ]She needs 2 days, and could probably do 2.5 or 3. I have her two days a week. She's a very part-time student, classes are at night, but that means on certain days she needs to leave by 5 PM to get to class. What kind of schedule are you looking for? She's really wonderful, which is way I'm dreading needing to go back on the market!
[ Reply | Options ]I'm somewhat flexible, I work from home. I don't know if I'd have that many hours to give though... I'm looking for 2 days 9-3 and then possibly one more day 7-12.
[ Reply | Options ]The two days 9-3 on there own might not be enough hours, but the three part-time days would come close to equally what (I think) she's looking for. If you're really interested, post your email, and I'm happy to send you her info/answering any questions you have, etc. She's been with us for 1.5+ years and before that was with other families for even longer.
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OP, why dont YOU heavily market and advertise her? hang signs up, put up Craigslist ads, etc, advertising a great part time nanny available! you get her hte $ she needs, and yo get to keep her. you help er, and you help urself. best of both worlds.
[ Reply | Options ]I have done the Craigslist thing, so far without success. Also, shared info with my own network, maybe some leads there. The signs are a good idea. In other words, I am trying just feeling like I might not have success before its too late. I didn't realize how far along she was in considering full-time positions until today.
[ Reply | Options ]the nanny doesn't want two p/t gigs. she wants a f/t gig. she is telling op she can't find another p/t gig because she wants to let her down gently.
[ Reply | Options ]OP: she's a part-time student, who takes classes at night. Her preference (over the years) has been to have work that amounts to 4 days of work, so that she has at least a little bit of time for homework/study groups, etc.
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We might be able to help if she wants some extra hours on weekends or non-school evenings. Easy bilingual son. Please send info -- ds@snapdragonconsultants.com
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I am interested in someone part time. Is there anyway for me to get info without posting my email? Can't figure out how...
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[-]To the mom with the bipolar nanny. please, please, please do not let someone who is bipolar watch your children. i have a good deal of experience with this disease. It is in our family. We know the symptoms well and it is still scary for us. this is NOT a person who should be responsible for a child. ESPECIALLY if her meds are starting to do funky things.
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]This is a totally irresponsible post. There was no indication that the meds were "starting to do funky things." Lethargy is a common side effect and is does not indicate the medications are not working. The woman probably needs to take certain drugs at a different time of day. that she self-reported this is a sign she is healthy and responsibly taking care of her disability.
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[-]10th anniversary coming up this weekend... goody, it's time for our annual date. I think we can manage to ditch the dcs (including unweaned db) for 4-5 hours with a babysitter in the morning/early afternoon. Any suggestions for what to do on the UWS? I was thinking lunch plus something like an art museum or some other experience that the kids wouldn't enjoy anyway (well, oldest dc loves museums but his little legs poop out after about an hour.) Thanks!
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