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  • [-]Does anyone else her have a problem with a certain singer LB who sings about spaghetti?

    23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.20.09, 05:16 PM [ Flag ]
    • Cannot stand her. She is such a talentless wannabee, and deeply boring.

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      11.20.09, 05:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Huh???

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      11.20.09, 05:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • When my dd was born, my mother ran out and bought the CD and memorized the songs. I had to sit in the back of my parents minivan as they drove around singing that spaghetti song at the top of their lungs. My dd was 12w at the time and really didn't give a hoot, it really was one of the most annoying experiences I have had in the past few years.

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      11.20.09, 05:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • She just seems so conceited and smug. Cannot bear her. She is like head of pta at our school.

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      11.20.09, 05:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I love her! -a dh

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      11.20.09, 06:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Please tell me who/what you're talking about.

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      11.20.09, 06:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • um, what are we talking about here? a singer we won't name who sings about pasta and is the head of a PTA? only in NY folks

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      11.20.09, 06:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • UB is the ONLY place I have ever heard of this singer. I think someone on here is obsessed with her.

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      11.20.09, 06:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • she is all over nickjr. you probably do know her...

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        11.20.09, 06:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • She used to be on the Nick music fillers between shows alot. (May still be my kids are older.)

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        11.20.09, 06:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • ITTTA!! I'm convinced it's either LB herself or her publicist that keeps posting these innane questions. The only problem with that they usually end up in a flamefest of how boring and banal her music is... probably NOT the type of feedback they would like. But I guess in that line of biz, any publicity is good publicity?! FWIW - my kids immediately ask us to turn the channel when Berkner comes on Nick, for which DH and I are all too eager to comply!! Cannot STAND her "music"

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        11.20.09, 08:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I wouldn't mind it so much if she was not such a focal point of all her videos. Cannot bear to see her forced prancing.

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          11.20.09, 08:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Wasn't there some movie/TV show where Emma Thompson played a similarly annoying singer? Can't remember what it was but it was hilarious. I always preferred Raffi myself or heck--how about just regular music?

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      11.20.09, 07:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • A Frasier episode. Emma Thompson played Nanny something, Frasier's ex-wife, whom nobody including Lilith knew about. It was hilarious.

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        11.20.09, 07:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Don't know how I feel about her as a talent or as a person, but DC and I love the Goldfish song - "Wait a minute; we're fish. We can't ride bicycles."

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      11.20.09, 07:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • this is funny. She irritates me but someone on UB is really bothered by her because you post this every other day or so! Wonder if this thread will disappear...

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      11.20.09, 08:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • First experience with her was free concert in C.park where every person with a dc from NJ and every borough and every state in the union east of the mississippi came. My ds hated it, me too. Nails on the blackboard. Screechy, whiny, nasal and banal.

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        11.21.09, 01:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Was in a store near ps 186 (I think) and those DCs were more obnoxious and entitled than any of the girls I knew at SS tt.

    44 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.20.09, 11:43 AM [ Flag ]
    • they are dreadful itttta

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      11.20.09, 11:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • what and where is this school?

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      11.20.09, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Right, a couple of obnoxious girls pretty much represent the entire public school student body. How do you know they were from public school, anyway?

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      11.20.09, 11:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • No uniforms, upper east side about 5th grade flowing into cell phone store in Tory Burch shoes flipping their hair and speaking through their noses. And there were about three different groups of them. And you think that people on here who bash ss TT girls know EVERY girl in the entire class?

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        11.20.09, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • When you make a decision about a private school being filled with entitled celebs and money what are you going on for evidence?

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        11.20.09, 12:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • um, the many celebs who have kids there? i think it's far less accurate to judge a public school based on a few students. privates are much smaller and much more homogeneous, socioeconomically and racially.

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          11.20.09, 12:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • um, the few that do in each grade do not make up the whole school not even the whole grade and who is to say celeb kids are all awful?

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            11.20.09, 12:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • i don't think celeb kids are awful. i would worry about my dc getting involved with kids who have a lot of money and not a lot of supervision. celeb/super wealthy kids seem more likely to fall into that category.

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              11.20.09, 12:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • I don't think you understand there are plenty of wealthy dcs at public school in wealthy areas. You aren't required to have money to get to a great private in NYC you need to have intelligence, I know a lot of dumb wealthy people.

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                11.20.09, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • look, face facts. the chances a Dalton or Horace Mann kindergartener being from a wealthy familiy is pretty great. the odds aren't anywhere near that in any random public, even one like PS 6, in a wealthy area.

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                  11.20.09, 12:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • So then the three groups of hideously obnoxious girls in outfits far too expensive for them that were streaming out of this public means nothing to you because....you want to stick your head in the sand? Nice.

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                    11.20.09, 12:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                    • oh, honey, believe what you want to believe. you're exhausting me.

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                      11.20.09, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                      • "sweetie" its not believing what I want to believe it is seeing with my own eyes. And yes, I would like another piece of pecan pie please and a refill on my coffee.

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                        11.20.09, 12:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • if i were your waitress and you were this annoying IRL, rest assured i would "accidentally" give you regular instead of decaf and sneeze on your pie.

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                          11.20.09, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • Nice manners they teach there at the diner. Shame.

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                          11.20.09, 12:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • lol, i guess i should look to you for behavioral cues because you're so charming. go back to your TT private school. they know how to raise those girls right!

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                          11.20.09, 12:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • My reference was to the use of the word "honey". God you people are so uptight and on a crusade to prove your backgrounds have value. Please send your DCs to private if they get in or else they may grow up with mommy's insecurity complex.

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                          11.20.09, 12:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • i am rotflmao at this point. you win, seriously. i'm going to stop responding to you now. have a great afternoon. switch to decaf. i'll bring some to you at your table if you're polite.

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                          11.20.09, 12:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • Ok deal!

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                          11.20.09, 12:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • me too, at private schools.

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                  11.20.09, 12:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • How about doing your homework b/f smearing a school?

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      11.20.09, 12:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Oh...What kind of post is that? Are you 'like...12-or 15?

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      11.20.09, 12:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Ummm, you'll have to give an example if you want people to agree with you. Also, you're probably talking about 10 year olds at the most who are not allowed out to lunch (school policy) so what the HECK are you talking about??? A little insecure at your SS tt???

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      11.20.09, 02:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I think OP was being a bit of a jerk but - she said nothing about lunch hour. I think she saw these kids after school. A weird thing is that it also sounds like the OP is comparing these current kids to the girls SHE went to school with - not the current 5th graders at SS schools (who I'm sure are the same as these 158ers). At any rate, these kids are growing up on the UES, for feck's sake. They ARE entitled children, whether they go to public or private school. A difference would be that 158 has 20% of their kids eligible for a free lunch, which is vastly different from being "poor" enough to get FA at a private school. But the richie riches at both kinds of school? The same.

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        11.20.09, 02:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • is that a current statistic? i have trouble believing that anyone who can afford to live in the area zoned for 158 is eligible for free lunch. there are not even any housing projects. otoh, up until 5 years ago, 158 still had a lot of kids there from out of zone with a variance.

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          11.20.09, 06:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • 158 also houses East Side Middle. Those were probably middle school girls. Middle school is middle school. Not the most charming age - cut them a break.

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      11.20.09, 05:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Off the "DIVORCE" post what is the worst divorce you have ever heard? Me: childhood sweethearts, DH takes off with make BFF, yes he was gay.

    19 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.20.09, 01:31 PM [ Flag ]
    • Friends parents divorced after 25 or 30 years of marriage. The day after the divorce was final the father married the mother's bf. Literally the very next day. The mother had no idea they were involved until that day.

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      11.20.09, 01:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • gossip

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      11.20.09, 01:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • couple had to live bi-coastal for work reasons at the beginning of the marriage (ny/la) but they spent every weekend together. Went on for a few months. After a vacation in HI the wife gets a call from sister saying we can't keep this from you any longer but it seems dh is leading a double life with a totally different woman.... it was heart breaking

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      11.20.09, 01:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • a coworker got married for the first time long before I knew her. on the honeymoon her husband tells her he "thinks" he's gay. why couldn't have said it the day before? Happy ending, she's now married to a great guy and really doing well.

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      11.20.09, 01:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • dh is an alcoholic screw-up. dw loves him but can't stand living with him anymore and he won't get help. she tells him she wants a divorce, doesn't want anything from him (he comes from a wealthy family), feels terrible. things didn't work out, but she didn't blame him. a few weeks later, she finds he has moved in with a girlfriend she did not know about, a girlfriend he knocked up and has been keeping secret! he lets this woman watch their child during his visits! and this woman is TRASHY. when she answers the phone, won't let dw speak with her own son, etc.

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      11.20.09, 02:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • DH told on his honeymoon that DW made the wrong decision and wants out. Get divorced, she gets the house. He remarries and 3 months later DW2 tells him she's a lesbian and her partner moves into the house, DH moves to the basement, eventually they too get divorced. Not making this up.

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      11.20.09, 02:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • DF was pregnant w/ # 3. Dh suggested that they sell their home to buy a bigger one, dh sells house and than backs out of new home purchase. Moves family into a dumpy rental tells dw that he is sleeping with her bf and wants a divorce. Df miscarries #3. Dh cancels all credit cards AND turns off the electricity on his own dcs. Dh (who makes over 2 million a year) hides assets and leaves the country.

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      11.20.09, 02:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Oh, so sad. That is awful.

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        11.20.09, 02:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Moral of the story: Don’t allow DH no matter how financially savvy to have complete control of finances. Dw allowed him to do everything and even gave him POA at their house closing. Nothing was in her name.

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          11.20.09, 02:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • My ex dh left me when I was pg for someone else, but at least I had the comfort of beautiful new baby. Poor woman. So, so, sad.

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            11.20.09, 02:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • That is so awful. I once knew a guy at work who was cheating w/ an office mate while dw was pregnant. Everytime I got within inches of either of them my skin would crawl and I was in my early 20's. Some people should never get married.

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              11.20.09, 02:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Read "Heartburn" by Nora Ephron is you never have--painful but very, very funny, thinly-fictionalized story of the same thing...

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              11.20.09, 07:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Friend of my mothers find out her dh has another family, living close by (thought he commuted for work) with 2 dd's same age as hers. Had been going on for 10 years. He left her for other 'wife'. He had no money (she had always worked)

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      11.20.09, 03:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • My aunts husband ran off with her daughter (his stepdaughter), way before someone famous did the same thing.

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      11.20.09, 04:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • wow...horrible...i can imagine a stepdad being into his stepdaughter, but the idea of the stepdaughter reciprocating the affections and not thinking about hurting her own mom really saddens me. Mom must feel so pained looking at her daughter now.

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        11.20.09, 09:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Therapist mom here - had a long day, on a wave, ask me anything.

    30 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.18.09, 07:54 PM [ Flag ]
    • Are you bored to death during your sessions?

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      11.18.09, 07:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • sometimes... sometimes just depressed.

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        11.18.09, 07:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • this being an anonymous board: do you ever get interested/emotionally involved in your job? Like you think about a patient's problem on the way home?

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          11.18.09, 08:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Yes. I have two cases like that - I have a couple that used to swing, stopped, now have a baby, also have a man who got married for all the wrogn reasons, have a baby and isn't really in love with his wife, but loves the kid. It's sad.

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            11.18.09, 08:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Thanks. I was always wondering if therapists actually care (sometimes), or they always just secretly look at their watches waiting when we boring wretched souls go away.

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              11.18.09, 08:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • I do care, especially when people seem to be caged, locked in their own bodies, unable to help themselves.

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                11.18.09, 08:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • np: I thought therapists weren't supposed to tell people what to do.

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                  11.18.09, 08:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • we don't tell them, but we do offer advice. Especially if they indicate that they want something and don't know how to go about it

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                    11.18.09, 08:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • What is the purpose of a therapist? (seriously, I'm not being snarky.)

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      11.18.09, 08:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Do you believe in a classical psychoanalysis, or you think it is over?

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      11.18.09, 08:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I think many people these days are so lonely, especially in NYC. So many people get married, have kids, have friends and despite all that are so alone. I think I am a friend for hire sometimes, someone that can listen, and doesn’t judge, gives advice, sheds light on a new perspective, a new outlook. If you can help change someone’s perspective you can have change happen in the physical world.

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        11.18.09, 08:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • What is your take on the fact that meds can change perspective in a very tangible way?

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          11.18.09, 08:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • I’m not a Psychiatrist, I’m a LCSW. I am aware of the fact that some people need meds to be able to literally survive. I refer patients to Psychiatrists if I feel that they need more help. In a perfect world talking, opening up, facing issues would get people to straighten up, deal and get better. But in this world it’s not the case, plus some psychotic people do need meds and these are beyond the scope of my practice.

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            11.18.09, 08:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Do you have times where you question the value of therapy, and your chosen profession altogether? I know several MSW's who feel this way, my sister is one of them.

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      11.18.09, 08:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I do. I don't think it's science. I think of myself as someonw who listens, it's not about analysis.

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        11.18.09, 08:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • How should I deal with my alcoholic borderline personality father? Cut him out completely? Sad he won't have a relationship with dd but maybe it is for the best.

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      11.18.09, 08:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I personally don’t believe in a rigid definition of “family” – sometimes blood can’t overcome hard personalities, sometimes past experiences affect the way we look at parents, siblings, etc. I have many patients that complain, especially around the holiday season, that they have to go to dinners with their family, however they don’t feel close to those people – a lot of anger, hurt bottled in, yet they go to dinner, act, put on a happy face while questioning the whole “production”. Your father may not have been a good father, and he may never be but he can still be an excellent grandfather, loving and caring, drinking problem or not. However, if he is not interested, doesn’t show affection etc, the fact that he is blood ...

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        11.18.09, 08:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Any advice on surviving 6th grade? I feel so helpless when dd reveals what's going on socially.

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      11.18.09, 08:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • If she is being picked on or singled out, boost her up as much as you can. Even if it seems "silly" or like overkill, if you tell her she is beautiful or smart or [fill in the blank] literally every day, when she is an adult she will have better self-esteem than all of her friends. If she is one of the ones doing the ostracizing, do what you can to teach her compassion outside of her social circle. Perhaps volunteer work, but not by forcing her to be nice to kids considered outcasts - that will be too hard on her because of the other girls. Also, encourage her to be friends with boys.

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        11.20.09, 07:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • how many years after therapist and patient stop being therapist and patient is it ok for them to have a romantic relationship?

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      11.18.09, 08:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Do you think there is anything that can be done to change a person with a clear cut narcissistic personality disorder, or I should just run away? Is this condition genetic or acquired?

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      11.18.09, 08:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • How does one go about choosing a good psychologist? What resources would you recommend?

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      11.19.09, 03:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Trailer trash mom here- how can I get a MILF with two kids to stop calling my boyfriend to ask if she can move in/spend the night?

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      11.19.09, 07:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Let me preface this by saying that I have definitely benefited from therapy at different times in my life. I do notice, however, that many people who choose to study/practice some sort of mental therapy are generally the people who seem most screwed up. Do you think the majority of people who choose some type of psycho therapy as a profession are trying to fix themselves?

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      11.20.09, 07:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]help me out -- I had a discussion with someone (who doesn't have dcs) who said she can foresee a time when women would choose voluntary surrogacy (paying someone else to have their db) instead of carrying a db themselves. That it's another change to how technology becomes a part of our lives and how we try to control/preserve our bodies in different ways. I just don't think efficiency would ever outweigh wanting to be pregnant, if you can do it (for most people -- of course, there are exceptions). What do you think?

    28 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.20.09, 03:39 PM [ Flag ]
    • I can foresee it, far not the road and for a handful of women, but once it starts the practice could grow. And I say this, even though the thought appalls me.

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      11.20.09, 03:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • see, logically, I understood why she would see it that way. but after having been pregnant, i can't imagine anyone suggesting that efficiency/preserving your body could possibly be considered a parallel choice.

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        11.20.09, 03:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • as someone who had a difficult time getting PG, it was very important for me to feel the pregnancy myself and to go through that experience at least once in my life. Maybe it will become more common for some but it may still remain a natural desire for many.

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      11.20.09, 03:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I do not think it would ever become routine. Yes, a very small group of women would choose this out of need or desire. But most women take pleasure in pregnancy on some level and it is a biological urge similar to sex.

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      11.20.09, 03:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • that's what I feel, too -- there is a sense of pleasure, and almost a primal desire. But she suggested, couldn't the idea of what's pleasurable change? How do we know it's pleasurable before having gone through it?

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        11.20.09, 03:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I truly think it's similar to sex rather than plastic surgery - an innate desire, rather than a superficial/convenient act.

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          11.20.09, 03:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • That's what I was telling her -- that it's hard to understand until you are on the threshold of being able to be pregnant. Why do we want it? Because of what others are telling you? Because of how we've been raised? Because it's primal/innate? I don't know, but it's powerful, and ITA with you -- I can't imagine efficiency/beauty/convenience is what would dominate.

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            11.20.09, 03:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • eros

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        11.20.09, 06:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Well I really hated being pregnant the first time. I am pregnant again now, and it is much easier. I can't see ever paying somebody else to carry my child, but that first pregnancy did give me some insight into why women might choose that option!

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      11.20.09, 03:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I've been pregnant twice and hated both pregnancies. There was no part of it that I enjoyed. I would definitely be one of those women who would pay someone to be my surrogate. Pregnancy is an amazing experience for some and torture to others. I don't think this would be mainstream, but could be a good alternative for some people.

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      11.20.09, 04:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • But would you have done it BEFORE getting pregnant? In other words, you know now that you had a horrible experience (after having gone through it). How would you make the decision before knowing you personally had it bad?

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        11.20.09, 04:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Honestly, I would have gone the surro route even before I got pregnant. Always wanted kids but hated having no control over my body for 12 months (pregnancy + recovery). I would have to know that the surro method would ensure a healthy environment for my baby.

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          11.20.09, 04:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • interesting! And you would feel like you could trust a surrogate to be a healthier environment than your own body?

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            11.20.09, 04:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • I always dreamed that there would be a machine that would simulate a womb and I would pay to rent it and come visit to "see" the baby. I know it sounds silly.

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              11.20.09, 04:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • np- but you are the anomaly, most women love pregnancy first time. Only the ones with body problems would not want to get pregnant. Second time is a different matter

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            11.20.09, 04:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • I wonder if there is a constituency of professional women who would want to do it this way too--less downtime.

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              11.20.09, 04:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • np: I also don't like being pregnant and I've had no complications with both of my pregnancies. I just don't like it and don't even get me started on giving birth. Having said that I can't imagine using a surrogate.

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              11.20.09, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • i'm with you OR. two awful pregnancies. i suppose I would have tried it the first time, but definitely not the second (even though that one was slightly more bearable). if i could do this i may consider a third, but never want to be pregnant again. if the surrogate could be my husband than i'm first to sign up!

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            11.20.09, 06:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I agree and feel the same way about woman who chose c-sections instead of regular birth when their is no medical need for one. Some woman said that they wanted it because they wanted their baby born on a certain day or b/c they didn't want to stretch out 'down there.' There is too much stock in vanity today despite the fact that woman have been having babies naturally since the world began. I don't like woman who seem proud of c-sections b/c of artificial reasons or concerns about themselves. Of course if there is a REAL medical reason than okay but 75% of the people I know that have ever had one had either vanity or a scheduling conflict that resulted in them wanting a c-section.

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      11.20.09, 04:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I disagree that elective c-sections are along the slippery slope to on-demand surrogacy. C-sections, even when elected for what you consider trivial reasons, do not involve using another woman, who often has much less money and many fewer options, to gestate your baby. I hated hated hated being pregnant, but would never choose the emotional complications surrogacy evolves. A scheduled c-section, on the other hand, was absolutely what was best for my baby and me. And stretching out 'down there' had nothing to do with my decision.

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        11.20.09, 06:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • np: I'm glad to read that other women don't like being pregnant. I always hear such glowing stories of pregnancy. I not a fan, but I kind of felt alone in that opinion.

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          11.20.09, 06:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • how old are you? All my friends and I were 35+ when pregnant; children dearly wanted. Very few -- even the yoga divas-- pretended that pregnancy wasn't ten months of nausea, swelling, and flatulence. I thought uncomfortable pregnancies might be a symptom of 'advanced maternal age', but my mother told me all her pregnancies, starting at age 24, were similar. So maybe my circle of friends are more honest/complaining than many . . . .

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            11.20.09, 06:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • I'm 35 and pregnant. Was 30 with 1st pregnancy. I know women my same age and they seem to like it. Honestly I didn't have difficult pregnancies, but still don't seem to like or love it like some people I know. I like knowing I'm going to have a baby and I'm very thankful for my kids. But that glowing wonderful I love every moment of this look that some people have I just can't relate to.

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              11.20.09, 07:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I had two C-sections for medical reasons. The first was after waiting 20 days past due date, being induced, 48 hours of labor then haveing a c-section and giving birth to a 10 lb baby. I'm 5;3" and 110 lbs. Damage was irreversible of carrying such a large child so late. My story is not that uncommon, and I wish could have opted for an elective C-section the week before due date because I knew it would go like that. I'm guessing you had relatively easy births so

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        11.20.09, 06:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Wow -- I'm surprised your OB didn't suggest a c-section, given your size and the baby's size. . .

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          11.20.09, 07:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Actually I did not. My birth was not easy. I did have a small baby but was 3 days late and after 9 hours of labor had only gotten to 2 cm. Not only that but my baby was only 6 pounds and I had a 4th degree tear that required 4 sets of stitches inside and out. I was in pain for days and unable to walk or get in and out of bed by myself. However, I would do it all over again and plan to have the next one vaginally too. Don't you read the responses carefully b/c I stated "of course if there is a REAL medical reason that is okay" I am not taking about people who actually have reasons I am talking specifically about people who do it for vanity or selfish reasons, this does not apply to every person who has ever had one.

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          11.20.09, 08:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I think there is a lot of research yet to be done on the impact of the mother (or surrogate) on the fetus' development. I don't think a baby's personality is solely genetics, i think it must be affected to some extent by maternal behaviors as well. Since I am a control freak, I would want the baby in me so I would have full assurance that the baby was in a good environment at all times. But i have thought a LOT about surrogacy...i want 2 kids close in age, and it would be much nicer if i had 10 months to recuperate with my hubby and child, rather than getting immediately preg again. the only other thing stopping me is trying to explain to my MIL why she couldn't come to the hospital...i know...but if she didn't know, and i completely truste...

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      11.20.09, 09:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Hiring a private preschool tutor for child who can't easily leave the house. How much should I expect to pay hourly?

    11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.03.09, 04:19 PM [ Flag ]
    • Why can't he/she leave the house?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.03.09, 04:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • You might be able to hire a teacher/nanny to do a little pre-school homeschool program. Our nanny is a teacher, and we pay her $25/hour. But she is with dd the whole day, not just PT hours, like a half day preschool program would require.

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      11.03.09, 04:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • you don't have to pay that much...right now the market is in your favor. post an ad on craigslist and ask responders to include desired wage and see what kind of responses you get. i'm sure there are some unemployed early ed students who can help your dc out.

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      11.05.09, 12:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • in today's economy, teachers would welcome such a pleasant PT job. I would say $60 - $90 per hour should be appropriate. I hope your dc is all right.

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      11.05.09, 01:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • are you still interested in a preschool tutor for your child?

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      11.20.09, 05:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • We paid $85 per session for a certified teacher who was familiar with the curriculum at our school to give our dcs some continuity over the summer.

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      11.20.09, 06:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Most families we know pay $100/hr. Best if you can get a personal recommendation to someone directly, saves you and the tutor both the cost of the middle man of a service. Many services take a cut out of the tutor's wages and don't do much for them in return.

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      11.20.09, 08:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I am sure you could put ad up at local teacher training school, and pay around 30.

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      11.20.09, 08:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • You get what you pay for. Make sure your tutor has whatever level of degree makes you comfortable, checkable references, teaching/tutoring experience particularly with early learners, and in your case someone who has experience with families who need special attention to health-related considerations. IMHO less than $75 or $100/hour is not going to get you all that.

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        11.20.09, 09:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Children's Aid Society preschool: How's the separation process for the 3's program? On our tour, it seemed a little short/brief. Other schools seemed more open to the idea that it can take a few weeks, maybe longer for some kids.

    8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.17.09, 08:42 PM [ Flag ]
    • It is pretty efficient. The class is divided into two groups who attend two different shorter sessions during regular class time along with their parent/ caregiver. I think that this lasted about a week. Slowly the class entire class is integrated into their regular time - and parents start leaving their children. Some schools do this process slower, but it worked very well for most children we knew. My dc was quick to separate and we actually found that my being there was a hindrance to her. If anything, I was sad because I really wasn’t missed! In her 2's class there was a child who did have a difficult time, and the mom was able to stay after drop for a longer period of time.

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      11.18.09, 09:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • if your dc needs a few weeks, maybe longer, to separate, he is not ready for preschool.

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      11.19.09, 08:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • IMO, a drawn out separation is actually worse (unless the kid is having a particularly hard time with separation). You'll be very surprised at how well it goes. the clingiest kid i know separated in a week without a single issue, and I thought separation was going to be a disaster of traumatic proportions for all involved.

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      11.19.09, 08:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • op: I actually think my kid will be fine and a quick separator. But I like the idea that the staff are supportive if it takes a little longer (calms my nerves going in, you know?).

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        11.19.09, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • the first week parents are encouraged to drop off but are allowed to stay in the classroom until dc is settled. by the second week, while parents are still allowed to stay, they should be trying to transition dc into being dropped off. by the third week, all parents are expected to drop off. (obviously they are allowed to enter the classroom to say brief good-byes, but that's it.) weeks of having parents lingering in the classroom is just too disruptive.

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      11.19.09, 08:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Parents can sometimes be the cause of a problem. DC is fine once mom is out of sight, but mom doesn't believe the teacher and lingers, so the problem lingers, too.

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      11.20.09, 08:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]do interracial couples get divorced?

    76 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.19.09, 12:58 PM [ Flag ]
    • no, never.

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      11.19.09, 12:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I'm not even sure that it is legal for them to do so. I know there is a Supreme Court case that held they have a right to get married, but it didn't discuss divorce. Hmm.

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        11.19.09, 01:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I have to research the case law in this... hmmm...

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          11.19.09, 01:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • No need to research. Take my word for it -- it is odd, but true.

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            11.19.09, 01:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • i didn't ask can they, but do they. i don't think so. i think their unions are stronger and thus last forever.

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              11.19.09, 01:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • np: are you serious? you realize that they are human, right? and what about all of the interracial couples that never get married, but have a kid and then break up? what about their unions?

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                11.19.09, 01:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • As half of a deliriously happy married interracial couple, I say: WTF??

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                11.19.09, 01:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • do you know any interracial previously married couples that divorced?

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                  11.19.09, 01:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • np: i do. there goes your theory!

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                    11.19.09, 01:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • np: you realize this is a statistics thing, right? the number of interracial couples you know is probably way smaller than the number of same-race couples you know. so even if they have the same rate of divorce, you will know many fewer divorced interracial couples.

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                    11.19.09, 01:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • I know two couples that divorced, and one of them were interracial. God you'e so weird... and patronizing... and a little racist.

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                    11.19.09, 01:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                    • i'm trying to picture who OP is.

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                      11.19.09, 01:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                    • racist against whom? how can you say that?

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                      11.19.09, 01:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                      • np: when you assume something of people, based on their race, it is racist. even when the stereotype is positive, it is racist. they are people, they are not defined by their race. interracial couples are human, with human flaws, just like any other sort of couple!

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                        11.19.09, 01:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                      • Because it assumes that interracial couples are "special" somehow. Like they're not like any other couple. Just because it's not a negative per se, doesn't mean it's not racist, since you're still making judgements and assumptions based on race.

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                        11.19.09, 01:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • it's not based on race, it's more based on circumstance or situation.

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                          11.19.09, 01:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • The situation based on race, yes.

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                          11.19.09, 01:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • I think OP's question is idiotic but the people responding that it's racist to make assumptions of people based on just their race: how do you feel about affirmative action? Same assumption principles, isn't it?

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                          11.19.09, 08:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • I'm one of the posters (in an interracial marriage) who called the post racist. Yes, I feel that affirmative action is racist, too.

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                          11.20.09, 06:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • Thank you. That is awesome that you are so consistent. Few are.

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                          11.20.09, 10:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • And what makes their union stronger?

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                11.19.09, 01:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • i think because of what they will face they consider marriage much more closely and have a stronger bond.

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                  11.19.09, 01:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • "What they will face"??? Come on, DH and I laugh at the minor things that do occasionally happen. Are you in the Deep South or something?

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                    11.19.09, 01:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • I think that's crap. I don't think interracial couples consider marriage more closely or have a stronger bond. My friend's divorce just became final. She was in an interracial marriage. I am too, my marriage is fine.

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                    11.19.09, 07:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Umm - my BIL and former SIL were an interracial couple, and they got divorced.

              [ Reply | Options ]
              11.19.09, 01:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Yes, left quite a pickle.

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          11.19.09, 01:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • what about same-sex interracial couples, though? an even bigger conundrum.

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.19.09, 01:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I thought there was jurisprudence on them not being allowed to have children?

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.20.09, 10:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • what?

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      11.19.09, 01:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Never. Ever. The sex is always so hot.

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      11.19.09, 01:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • according to a judge in louisiana, almost every time

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      11.19.09, 01:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • the responses to this post are hilarious. OP why in the world did you ask such dumb question?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.19.09, 06:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • in all seriousness, the rate of divorce for interracial couples is actually lower than for couples of the same race.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.19.09, 06:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • ^^ I'm in an interracial marriage, and I know that for us and for other couples I know, one thing that happens is that when you're dating because you're interrcial you just communicate on a different level and you take your relationship more seriously because you have to deal with some external and internal stuff that others don't necessarily have to deal with.

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        11.19.09, 06:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • many couples who are not in a biracial relationship take those relationships seriously.

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          11.19.09, 06:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Do you seriously believe this? OK, I'm in an interracial marriage for the last 13 years and I can honestly say before we got married we didn't have any conversations about it. We just saw each other for who we are. It wasn't any big discussion with our families either. They both could care less what race we are, as long as we're happy. Now this might how something to do with the fact that both my husband and I had dated people of many different races before we got married so race was no thing to us.

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          11.19.09, 06:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • ok well that's your experience but I assure you it's not the experience of most.

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            11.19.09, 06:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • NP: I assure you it is. Another interracial gal here, together 12 years. Never talked about it. We love each other for who we are.

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              11.19.09, 06:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • NP: Yet ANOTHER interracial wife of 7 yrs. Have never had to explicitly talk about it, and our respective families couldn't care less either. This ain't Georgia circa 1954.

                [ Reply | Options ]
                11.20.09, 12:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • You don't sound like you're in an interracial relationship at all. I think you're just trying to stir the pot. A rare consensus on UB! The only poster who seems to think it makes a difference is you.

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.19.09, 06:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • what internal stuff would you have to deal with? A person is a person. Why would you have to communicate on a different level?

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          11.19.09, 06:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • you're nuts

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          11.19.09, 07:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Please, post a link to the evidence.

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.20.09, 10:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I knew it!

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        11.20.09, 12:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • What a bizarre question. We are an interracial couple and we fight like nobody's business.

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      11.19.09, 06:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • My friend in the product of an interracial couple and her husband is %100 AA. Even though she is not that smart they seem to have a good family life. They do live in east Harlem though and he wants to move to Jersey!

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      11.19.09, 07:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • You win the award for nonsensical answer to nonsensical post.

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        11.19.09, 07:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • It was an inside joke on a public forum. This entire thread is the most ridiculous one that has ever been on here.

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          11.19.09, 07:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • And that's really saying something. Although, I have to say, every time I see mass censensus on UB I assume FAKE.

            [ Reply | Options ]
            11.20.09, 06:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I'll bite. I am not in an inter-racial marriage perse, but in an inter-cultural marriage. I think for those that date and marry outside of their and their family's comfort zones, you have to really love the person to deal with all the surrounding noise. My wife was told that our marriage would never last because we aren't the same religion, and both my mother and grandmother flat out told me I shouldn't marry my wife. We are now in our 6th year of marriage with 2 lovely children

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      11.20.09, 08:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • We are in our mid-30s and many of our friends/family/acquaintances are getting divorced. I guess the point is that a lot of people who marry others from very similar backgrounds may be doing so just to please family or take the easy road. Dating someone of another ethnicity/background/race takes a lot of guts, and marrying them even more so.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.20.09, 08:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Ivies+Duke+Chicago+MIT+Stanford+Amherst+Williams+Caltech (20005-09): Brearley 53%, Horace MAnn 48%, Trinity 47%, Spence 45%, Chapin 41%, Dalton 39%

    98 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.20.09, 08:36 AM [ Flag ]
    • did you pick out the schools that B sent the most dcs to? please stop already. caltech? isn't that a (gasp) PUBLIC school?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 08:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • np: FWIW I am the poster you slammed below for being some Crazy B mom, I did not post this.

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        11.20.09, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Caltech is probably one of the toughest ones to get in and it is sort of like MIT

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.20.09, 08:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • of course. but it is not small, ss, private, elitist, or any of the many reasons B moms give for B's alleged superiority.

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          11.20.09, 08:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • You people really have a bug up your a$$ about this school what it the problem here?

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            11.20.09, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • I would have added Cooper Union. Nobody from Brearly went there. It's extremely competitive bec it's free and their engineering is top notch. Probably smarter kids apply there than MIT or Caltech.

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            11.20.09, 08:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • That is sort of a random and unqualified comment don't you think?

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              11.20.09, 08:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • That smarter kids apply to Cooper Union over MIT/Cal Tech is not really relevant. CU only offers 3 programs and one is in fine arts. I would say that the smartest boys in the nation apply to Deep Springs College most of all.

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              11.20.09, 09:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • ^^^So let's look at the average SATs for CU vs MIT vs Cal Tech anyway. Cooper Union is 710M, 665V (1375) - 9.26% applicants accepted; MIT is 760M, 710V (1470) - 11.86% accepted; Cal Tech is 785M, 730V (1515) - 17.36% accepted.

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                11.20.09, 09:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • FWIW, I know a B girl who transferred to CU.

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              11.20.09, 09:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • outing myself, I went to Spence and Cooper Union! I also got into Caltech and MIT, but Cooper is free.

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                11.20.09, 01:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • ^^I'm actually not sure what this thread is about, but I never see Cooper discussed so I had to jump in.

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                  11.20.09, 01:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Shows what you know. You look super smart. Hahahhaa, not.

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              11.20.09, 01:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • You don't know anything about Caltech, do you? It's private and smaller than almost all of the Ivies.

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            11.20.09, 09:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • are you insane? Caltech is a smaller MIT. Just as many oddball students as MIT. It's private and just as difficult to get into.

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            11.20.09, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • More difficult--but since it's here on the West Coast all the wannabes on the East Coast either dismiss it or have never heard of it.

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              11.20.09, 01:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • i'd heard of it and knew it was a good engineering school, but thought it was public like Va Tech. in any event, I do have a hard time believing it's the top choice of any ss tt type.

                [ Reply | Options ]
                11.20.09, 01:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Cal Tech is not public - it's a private university

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        11.20.09, 09:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • caltech is a wonderful private famous engineering school. how do you not know that?

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        11.20.09, 11:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Cal Tech is not only private, but back in the early 90s when I was applying to college, the average math SAT score there was a perfect 800. I joked that there was no way they were ever going to accept people w anything less, no matter how good their app, bc they were not going to give up that perfect number!

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        11.20.09, 11:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • The problem is that if you go to one of these private schools, or even some top notch public schools in 'burbs, you are often "brokered" much like preschools do. You may love Harvard, but if the school decides some other kids are going to be the kids they recommend for Harvard, your chances of getting in are much lower. It's fine if you are the chosen one for the school you love, but if not, you are better off being one of the top students at a no-name public school and applying to that school.

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      11.20.09, 08:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • This is just not the case. You are never better off at a no name public school in the burbs. We are talking about a 50% 'rate of return' on excellent schools for only 50 dcs. That is 25 every year in the top schools. The other 25 also go to top schools with an exception of one or two, schools that would make any no name public drool. And that is not even beginning to discuss the comparison in the education itself

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        11.20.09, 08:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • but it's apparently worthy to graduate B and go to a HUGE PUBLIC UNIVERSITY in California. um, ok.

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          11.20.09, 08:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Ok, your comment does not address the points in my post, plus you have no idea how many dcs went to Caltech or why. For your piece of mind, it is always worth while to get an education at any of those school instead of any public school.

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            11.20.09, 08:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • to poster above: maybe if you went to public school, you would know it is peace of mind. lol.

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            11.20.09, 08:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Um. Caltech is a TINY PRIVATE university. It has half the number of undergrads as Amherst.

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            11.20.09, 09:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I would choose MIT, Stanford but the other schools are random. I could have chosen different schools to judge. Clearly, B mom put together a list that puts them first. And how she did not include Collegiate is telling. Trinity did not even publish 05-09 stat, so I don't know where she got that number from.

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          11.20.09, 08:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Sure it is the case. If all you care about is getting into "any" highly ranked college, and you need extra help to achieve that, then a private school is for you. However, unless you are one of Brearley's "chosen" Harvard applicants that year, you probably won't get in. If you are the top student at a no-name school, you have a far better chance of getting into Harvard, and frankly, can easily get into one of the other top schools you list if you are a top student.

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          11.20.09, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • If all you care about is college admissions and judge a school by that alone than I fear for your DC. The difference a top education makes is immeasurable. Beyond that, you would never convince anyone here that a no name public with 500 students has numbers like any of those listed above. They just don't. Why fight it.

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            11.20.09, 08:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • but they might know how to use colloquialisms appropriately. like peace of mind.

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              11.20.09, 08:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • and i would also add that df from no name public tutored C grad at her Ivy. This despite the fact they were in class together.

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              11.20.09, 09:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • LOL -- I think YOU are the one judging a school on college admissions! I'm just pointing out that I'd far prefer my extremely smart dc to apply and attend the school of her choice than to be "told" which school she can apply to because the private school decides which kids should go to which colleges. Of course a no name public with 500 students doesn't have those stats because 490 of them don't even apply! But if you are one of the 10 students who do aspire to those schools, you get a great chance to go to the school YOU want, not the one that helps the private school have good exmission stats! That's what I want for my dc -- don't you?

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              11.20.09, 09:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • omg, a sane mom.

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                11.20.09, 09:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • In your anger you failed to address the first part of my post which was pointing out that education, rather than admissions stats, makes a school. That, rather than a perceived shot of HYP by their mother, is what I want for DC. So clearly you would prefer - in your belief that public allows you to go to better schools more easily - that your dc suffer from a poor education so that they can struggle at Harvard rather than a great education and excel at U of C.

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                11.20.09, 09:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • LOL -- do you think if you call me "angry" enough I'll actually get angry? Because I won't! I just laugh! This post is about admissions stats. I've posted my own opinion on a "better education" elsewhere, but I'll say it again. My sibs and I went from a no-name public to those schools listed above and graduated summa and magna cum laude. Surprise! The top achievers at all those schools are as likely to be from public schools as privates.

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                  11.20.09, 09:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • ^^^and the only conclusion I can make if you keep insisting that the education at a private school is far superior is that the kids from private schools are far more stupid to begin with! Because if education was indeed "superior", then smart kid + 13 years "tt" education should easily surpass smart kid + 13 years "poor" education when they get to college, right?

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                    11.20.09, 09:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • NP. I thought everyone knew that at top colleges, the private school kids do well first two years. Then the public school kids catch up and blow them away.

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                    11.20.09, 11:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • i have posted this question before and i'll post it again. if nyc privates are so superior to publics and privates anywhere else, why oh why, pray tell, is there not ONE SINGLE NOBEL PRIZE WINNER from any of these schools for the last 100 years? please, someone, anyone, answer!

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                  11.20.09, 09:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Crazy B moms are active again. INteresting choice of schools.

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      11.20.09, 08:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Hey, you left out the B mom who was all upset that dd ended up at SUNY when neighbor's Stuy dc went to Dartmouth.

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      11.20.09, 09:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Where was that post? b mother here and I would say that sounds like someone posing as a b mother to get a reaction

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        11.20.09, 09:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • no, no, it was a serious post from last spring. no one was snarky, people were really supportive, and saying that whatever school it was (i can't remember) is actually strong in the arts. i think she said she felt embarrassed to have spent so much $$$ when neighbor didn't. but people responded like, well, dd got a great education for K-12, and she'll always have that. but if you're at B (I am guessing you are at the lower school), you have to know that in addition to substantial turnover at MS/HS, many dcs just don't go to great colleges.

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          11.20.09, 09:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Why are these the only impressive schools in your mind?

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      11.20.09, 09:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Golly, you don't supposed the kids who attend these schools have a leg up in terms of wealth, privledge, education, vested parents, etc etc, do you?

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      11.20.09, 09:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • They probably have a leg up over you in spelling. What's your point? This is not comparing

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        11.20.09, 09:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • ^^ private vs. public.

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          11.20.09, 09:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • actually, not even. see "piece of mind," above.

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            11.20.09, 09:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • You know the % of the Bushes that went to Yale? What a special family!! Must be all very smart.

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            11.20.09, 09:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Not a Republican, didn't vote for any of them, but last time I checked, they were Presidents and Senators. Who are you?

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              11.20.09, 09:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • Not sure what your point is. Mine is that posting these stats are meaningless, because the Bushes didn't go to Yale or became Senators because of their own merits, but because they have had several legs up in their lives. The kids who attend these private schools have several legs up, too, so posting what their "exmissions" are does not mean the schools are magical places that churn out Ivy grads.

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                11.20.09, 09:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • but first they went to yale and harvard! and they got in without graduating from C! bc they got in on the name, not the brain. and there are others like this (well, maybe not this extreme) who come out of C/B/etc. every year.

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                11.20.09, 09:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • of GHWBush's 4(?) kids, only Dubya went to Yale. Because after admiting him, Yale decided it could do better than take the bottom-quarter of an Andover graduating class. Bush's 3 other kids did not go Ivy. True story.

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              11.20.09, 12:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • I just looked the six of them up. Other than GWB, none of them went to great schools. UVa, BC, Tulane, and UofT/Austin. (The first Bush daughter passed away at 4 yo.) Dubya's girls are 50-50 Ivy.

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                11.20.09, 06:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I, for one, would like to than you for collecting and posting the numbers. Haven't read a word of the nonsense in between, but I find your post very helpful - are you the one who offered to do this last night? Thx!

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      11.20.09, 10:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Did Collegiate do better? Guessing so.

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      11.20.09, 02:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I think schools with similar sized graduating classes should be compared with each other; i.e., Brearley with Spence, Chapin, NBS, Collegiate, etc and in another group, HM with Trinity, Dalton, etc. It doesn't seem fair if a school gets 5 kids into Harvard, say, and have it total to 10% of their class whereas another school needs to get 20 kids into Harvard for it to count as 10%.

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      11.20.09, 02:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Saint Ann's doesn't publish, or do they? Anyone know their recent numbers?

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      11.20.09, 02:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Where did you get these percentages from? I just calculated Brearley and I came up with 45% - not 53% - attending the same schools during those years. It's kind of nitpicky and yet it makes me not believe any of your numbers.

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      11.20.09, 03:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • You are right. 44.8%. She's cooking her numbers. Her numbers for other schools are lower than they should be.

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        11.20.09, 08:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • wow. all of you are crazy. so am i for sitting here reading this.

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      11.20.09, 05:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Can anyone recommend a great obgyn downtown?

    10 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.20.09, 05:26 AM [ Flag ]
    • What hospital?

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      11.20.09, 06:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • St Vincent or NYU

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        11.20.09, 08:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I've been very happy with Downtown Women OBGYN (NYU) - I saw Dr. Shih for gyno for a few years and then you rotate through all of the OB docs and we've liked them all so far. We still have 3 months until delivery, so I can't speak to how that goes yet.

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          11.20.09, 08:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • jacqueline worth - st vincent's.

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      11.20.09, 06:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • ITD - disliked her so much I switched OBs

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        11.20.09, 12:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • why was she so bad?

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          11.20.09, 12:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • i found her dismissive, distracted and kind of a phoney bitch!. she asked me every visit if I "did fertility treatments" (i'm 37), even though I told her each time, no this was an unplanned pregnancy. I didn't want ultrasounds on every visit, but when i asked ways to see if the pregnancy was progressing (like monitoring hgc, etc) she snapped at me and said "if you're worried, get the ultrasound, if you don't want it, just be happy". my blood pressure was in the 70/50 range all during the 1st tri and she said "my patients don't have problems with their blood pressure" ??? the best was each appointment she came in with a phoney smile and said "i'm glad you're here"

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            11.20.09, 01:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • ^^ also - it's like night and day with the new ob so i don't think i was being overly critical with worth... maybe she was having a tough time coincidentally when i was seeing her but it just wasn't worth trying it again.

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            11.20.09, 01:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Dr Catherine Goodstein at downtown womens in Soho.

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      11.20.09, 08:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]When do sibling applicants hear about kindergarten? Not sure that my ds will get in and very nervous.

    16 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.20.09, 05:20 PM [ Flag ]
    • If you applied through Early Notification then you hear sometime in December or January. If you're so nervous, what's the matter? Why can't you talk candidly with the AD. If you're nervous, maybe the school isn't the right fit for the next child. I have three dc in three different schools. Sure it's a lot of work, but I care that they have the right place for themselves. I get so annoyed with selfish parents who just want expedience and don't look at other schools for second, third and fourth kids. Did you even bother to apply to another school or two? Take the tour?

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      11.20.09, 05:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I hear that schools are trying to admit more only children from older parents so they won't have so many difficult sibling cases.

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        11.20.09, 05:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • The dumbest kids in my ds class are siblings. Schools should take kids who merit the spots and not stupid siblings. Would help for development too.

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          11.20.09, 05:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Dinging sibs is surely *not* good for development! It just makes families angry.

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            11.20.09, 05:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Yes, it does not do much for community spirit...

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              11.20.09, 05:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • Better to be dinged at the start than counseled out after a few years.

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                11.20.09, 05:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • I highly doubt many of the dinged sibs at most of these schools would end up counseled out. Maybe they'd be average or below average students, but they'd probably do just as well as many of the kids there. I really think it's more about making room for new kids they really want.

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                  11.20.09, 05:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • Our #3 was dinged, with 99erbs, 2nd round hunter scores, and with what our psd was such a good school report, she did not think it was worth applying elsewhere. So we didn't, and ended up having to scramble. Sometimes there is just not enough space, we were not big donors, just kind of unimportant people.

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                  11.20.09, 05:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • OMG I can't even imagine how upset you must have been, assuming this post is real (and I really want to believe it isn't).

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                    11.20.09, 05:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                    • Sadly, it is real, and while dc is very happy now at another school, I feel unwelcome at the school now, and I used to be very involved. I feel like they do not like us, and it is hurtful for younger one to now come along to school functions etc. Raises questions I do not want him to deal with at such a young age.

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                      11.20.09, 05:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                      • wow... that is a really awful position that the school put your family in!! I just hope it works out better for your 3rd in the long run. I can totally see how it now colours the experience for you/your elder two DCs too. We are applying out this year with our 1st but your post makes me very nervous for #2/3 in a couple of years!

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                        11.20.09, 08:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Sounds like crap. Perhaps you are young with many offspring.

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          11.20.09, 05:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • only children from older parents often come with all kind of other issues.

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          11.20.09, 05:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Did you even....why so aggressive?

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        11.20.09, 05:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • There are so many sibs in my ds class that there is barely room for any new families in the school. Agree that sibs tend to be the weakest in the class and the parents get really clannish.

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        11.20.09, 05:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]

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