On TV.com: American TOP GEAR Looks... Okay?
  • Filter the conversation
All posts Watched posts
advertisement
advertisement
Click Here

UrbanBaby Asks...

How often do your children bathe?

Already voted? View Results

See previous polls »

Stay Connected with UrbanBaby:

Inside UrbanBaby

UrbanBabyBuzz

odd-duck.jpgLittle kids and gender seems to be a bit of a hot topic du jour, having been covered recently in Salon (“Is that my son wearing a dress?”) and the Chicago Tribune.  A transgendered character has recently popped up on Degrassi: The ... More »

UrbanBabyNewYork

Kid FlixSay goodbye to New York City’s hottest summer on record (since 1869!) and chillax. Let’s hope Hurricane Earl doesn’t put too much of a damper on this holiday weekend. Kid Flix Mix 2010 New York International Children’s ... More »

UrbanBabySanFrancisco

chocolate.jpgGood things to eat. And to read. Ghirardelli Square Chocolate Local patisseries and candy-makers bring the chocoliciousness, you bring your appetite. There’s a children’s area to park the tykes in as well. When: Sat. & Sun., 9/4 ... More »
  • [-]Are we the only UES'ers who did not spend $20K on preschool? Skipped the whole private preschool thing and just did classes. Db will be going to K at Anderson.

    18 replies [ Reply | Watch | More
    09.02.10, 10:41 AM Flag ]
    • As if it matters where she's going to school. So she was lucky.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.02.10, 10:44 AM Flag
    • You may not have spent $20K on preschool tuition, but add up all the classes you had her in and you've got the equivalent. This is a no brainer, people.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.02.10, 10:48 AM Flag
    • So your kid got the same 99 thousands of others did but just hit the lottery with school placement. Good for you.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.02.10, 11:00 AM Flag
    • did you go to Anderson's orientation in June? Because they asked the parents if any of the kids hadn't been in preschool and nobody raised their hand. They just wanted to know what to expect in terms of seperation issues when K starts

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.02.10, 11:00 AM Flag
    • wow, i don't want to know you.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.02.10, 11:07 AM Flag
      • NP: why? I have a newborn so I don't really understand the dynamics here - can you enlighten me?

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.02.10, 11:11 AM Flag
        • nnp: my dc will also be attending Anderson K this year. I understand we got really lucky. Lucky that she did well on the test (she's bright but a 4 yo can't be trusted to perform on demand) and lucky to get picked in the lottery. Its likely 600 or more families put Anderson as their first choice, about 45 names were chosen plus sibs.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.02.10, 11:17 AM Flag
        • she is obviously bragging. she had to put in both that she is an UES'er and that her baby got into anderson, yet she is trying to say that she never cared about the whole preschool process.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.02.10, 11:23 AM Flag
          • What about the UES is so brag-worthy?

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.02.10, 11:26 AM Flag
          • np: maybe all she is trying to say is that her kid wasn't dinged in the process of application? maybe she is trying to say that the kid was bright enough to get a high enough score even without spending all the $$$ on preschool?

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.02.10, 11:28 AM Flag
            • there is no application process, its just one test then a lottery. as someone said 1000 kids got a 99. she's just gloating that she won the lottery.

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.02.10, 11:30 AM Flag
              • I'm the one above who said that. My kid got a 99 and we didn't even list Anderson on the application. Weren't interested.

                [ Reply | More ]
                09.02.10, 11:41 AM Flag
      • Not the OP, but I'm also wondering, why such a strong reaction? What's the big deal?

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.02.10, 11:23 AM Flag
    • It's a bit of a crapshoot to get into Anderson even if your DC scores well on the test. So, I don't see how this is relevant.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.02.10, 11:18 AM Flag
    • Just curious, what was your backup plan if dc didn't get into Anderson? If you were going public there's no need for fancy preschool -- even on UB people say that all the time.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.02.10, 11:25 AM Flag
    • preschool is mostly about socialization and learning to sit in circle time without too much wiggling and form a line with your classmates. it shouldn't be test prep.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.02.10, 11:48 AM Flag
    • #1 went to private preschool for two years (when she was 3 and 4). #2 and #3 will just go to public pre-K. We learned our lesson.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.02.10, 12:06 PM Flag
    • I think preschool is great, it's just too bad that it costs so much in NY. I send my DC to a wonderful preschool that only costs $12K per year. On site pools, tennis courts for the 4 & 5s, hayrides, outdoor picnics. Beautiful school nestled in the rolling hills. We're going to miss it because there's no way we are going to get this quality experience for this price tag in Manhattan, but I believe in the socialization so we'll do it for one year before they start K.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.02.10, 12:12 PM Flag
  • [-]I realize that this may get me flamed but I just had to fire my cleaning lady, and I feel so guilty over it. Ugh. She was awful but had worked for us for years, so she was really upset. Anyway...realize it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but wish I hadn't had to do it. Gave her severance but she was so upset, she didn't seem to care that much.

    69 replies [ Reply | Watch | More
    09.01.10, 07:40 AM Flag ]
    • What is the deal with that?? I told our nanny with 6 weeks notice that we will have to let her go and have spent HOURS of my maternity leave trying to find her a new postion. We're moving away -- not like I am just being mean and firing her, there is a clear reason. I told her today that in addition to the 2 weeks of not working that we will pay for, we are also going to give her almost 2 additional weeks of pay (the equivalent of her rent next month) to make sure she knows she can make rent. So basically I paid this month and next month's rent and didn't get a thank you...just more comments about how she hopes I FIND her a job today. She's a fantastic nanny, but come on! I'm not rich either, this is basically coming out of my savings...

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 07:48 AM Flag
      • OP: in my case, I think she was just so shocked that she didn't know what to say/acknowledge. She also speaks zero english, so that didn't help. Sigh. Sorry you're dealing with the guilt too!

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 07:53 AM Flag
        • Don't let them guilt you. BTDT. What other profession would demand the ex employer find a new job placement for the employee? Let her go, you have been more than generous with your time and money already, and, as you said, she was awful at cleaning anyway!

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 08:04 AM Flag
      • She;s being laid-off in a bad economy - she's nervous about her prospects. Can you blame her?

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 09:13 AM Flag
      • Did you pay her on the books? If so, she can collect unemployment. If you didn't pay her on the books, then it's your fault she's so desperate for a job.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.02.10, 08:23 AM Flag
    • Awful = fired

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 08:05 AM Flag
      • Nevertheless received more severance than many laid off people. I am so tired of entitled domestic workers.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 08:08 AM Flag
        • Wait. Entitled? OP threw money at her for no good reason. Sure, the cleaning lady was upset but who wouldn't be? The problem is not the cleaning lady. It's OP who's got the biggest issues here.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 09:04 AM Flag
          • OP: just got back to my desk. Now you're criticizing me for actually giving her severance??

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 11:17 AM Flag
      • OP: I know. I don't think she realized how bad she was. I just know we were a big source of her income, and she's very nice, but egad, I couldn't take the missed dust/misplaced laundry/total lack of attention to details. But you're right - I shouldn't feel guilty. I'm just too nice!

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 08:09 AM Flag
        • NR: Yes, you really are just "too nice" - you fired your cleaning lady and now you feel guilty about it. Can I nominate you for the Nobel Peace Prize? But first, let's talk more about how you're feeling about this. How her firing affects you.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 08:12 AM Flag
          • Do you have an issue with her feeling guilty or with her firing the cleaning lady?

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 09:06 AM Flag
            • NR: I just have an issue with her wanting us to stroke her guilty ego. I don't have an issue with her firing an incompetent cleaner.

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 09:09 AM Flag
        • Have you ever brought this up to her or were you too nice to point out the problems you had with her in the past? I sure hope you didn't just grin your teeth and kept everything building up and out of the blue (from the cleaning person's point of view) she got fired.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 09:05 AM Flag
          • OP: thank you!

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 11:20 AM Flag
            • OP: whoops, that was for a different comment. Yes, I've mentioned things in the past, but she just wasn't focused any more. She also recently missed some days of work without notice, which is why I ultimately did it. Still though, she's a very kind woman, and I wish that things had gone differently. That's all I was trying to express in my post.

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 11:24 AM Flag
    • You need to suck it up. When you hired her, you took on this responsibility - that you might have to fire her. You don't get sympathy because you just fired someone. Could you possibly make this any more about you?

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 08:07 AM Flag
      • Wow! I already fired her. AND gave her two months severance (almost $2k!). I'm hardly making this about me, only saying that I feel terribly about the situation. But thanks anyway.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 08:11 AM Flag
        • You don't really feel terrible, though. You're just looking for someone to absolve you of responsibility. No. You hired her, it was your decision, and you fired her, it was your decision.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 08:13 AM Flag
          • Ha! I don't know what you're problem is but I do really feel terrible. But that doesn't mean that I should have kept her employed. And of course, it was my decision. I was only venting here anonymously because I could. Have you never made a decision that you have to make but feel bad about anyway? I'll step away from replying now. Thanks though.

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 08:16 AM Flag
            • Yes I have indeed made such decisions, but when they affect other people negatively, I don't whine about how sad I feel about it, because it's a bad-faith gesture. Here's an analogy: a corporation closes its US plant to ship production overseas and cut costs. What would you think if the CEO went on TV and talked about how horrible he felt about it, how he was losing sleep over it? That he was a self-absorbed prick?

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 08:19 AM Flag
              • np: You sound like a nanny.

                [ Reply | More ]
                09.01.10, 11:09 AM Flag
          • np: absolve her of responsibility from what? she didn't do anything wrong. she just feels bad having to tell someone (someone whom she knows very well and has probably come to care about) that her job is gone. she doesn't really have a choice since the cleaning lady isn't doing a good job.

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 08:55 AM Flag
        • grammar poster from "feeling badly" post here - you feel terrible, not terribly. sorry, i'll go away now.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 08:20 AM Flag
          • ok, grammar poster, i think the reason this happens has less to do with the over-correction idea than it does w/ the fact that feel is a verb, so people assume they should put an adverb next to it...why not explain why this doesn't hold true in these contexts

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 08:33 AM Flag
    • it was just a job, you didn't adopt her or marry her. get over it!

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 08:23 AM Flag
      • you're mean. the woman has worked for her, in her home, for years. she's allowed to feel guilty, sad, whatever.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 08:25 AM Flag
      • You don't get it, OR. Everything is about OP. She's always somehow the victim - even when she fires her cleaning lady, she's still the victim. We're supposed to feel bad for her, not the cleaning lady.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 08:26 AM Flag
        • I'm not the OR, sorry. I'm a NP. I think you're mean. I think you can see both sides and feel bad for both the cleaning lady and the woman who had to tell her that she was fired. Have you ever had to fire someone who worked for you for a long time? It's not easy.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 08:28 AM Flag
          • OP: thank you! That's it exactly.

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 08:30 AM Flag
        • OP: What?? Seriously? This could not be more wrong. I put up a simple post about feeling guilty over having to let someone go who has worked for my family a long time, and I'm always the victim? I tried to treat the situation - and HER - as delicately as I could. I'd venture to say that your response is much more about you than it is about me. Anyway, I'll move along.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 08:29 AM Flag
          • my post sounds mean, but really there is no need to feel guilty. she works, you pay, that's all there is. i don't know why women attach emotions to a work situation.

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 08:37 AM Flag
            • you sound like a heartless wench

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 08:53 AM Flag
              • and you sound like..??

                [ Reply | More ]
                09.01.10, 09:14 AM Flag
                • a human being who can see how it's hard to let someone go when you care about her. not sure why you're having such difficulty with that concept.

                  [ Reply | More ]
                  09.01.10, 09:15 AM Flag
            • It's what human beings do. I think you need to adjust your meds.

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 09:07 AM Flag
              • oh please ladies, a job is a job! I bet you are one of those women who is afraid to ask for a raise at your own job because you want to be 'nice'

                [ Reply | More ]
                09.01.10, 09:15 AM Flag
          • No, please don't move along. Tell us more about how hard it was to fire your immigrant cleaning lady who speaks no English. Poor you! I can only imagine the challenges you face in your life.

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 08:43 AM Flag
            • you're right, she shouldn't feel bad at all. in fact, she should kick the cleaning lady on her way out the door.

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 08:52 AM Flag
              • Exactly! Kick her on the way out the door and then come post here and tell us how very guilty she feels about it. Poor OP, can you imagine? She might have chipped her toenail polish on the cleaning lady's a**.

                [ Reply | More ]
                09.01.10, 08:54 AM Flag
                • um, that was meant to be sarcastic - I was making fun of YOU, not OP. are you just jealous b/c you don't have a cleaning lady or something? why do you assume that someone who has a cleaning lady is a rich bitch? maybe she works really long hours, you have no idea what her situation is.

                  [ Reply | More ]
                  09.01.10, 08:56 AM Flag
                  • I got that you were making fun of me and I turned it around on you. Try to keep up, babe.

                    [ Reply | More ]
                    09.01.10, 08:57 AM Flag
                    • good one, jealous wench

                      [ Reply | More ]
                      09.01.10, 08:59 AM Flag
                      • Ooh, name calling! Your razor-sharp rhetorical skills are no match for me. Poopy Hiney Head.

                        [ Reply | More ]
                        09.01.10, 09:04 AM Flag
                        • okay clearly your jealousy has addled your mind. not going to sit here and try to talk feelings into a crazy lady.

                          [ Reply | More ]
                          09.01.10, 09:17 AM Flag
                  • OP: thanks - I really think this is more about the OR than it is about me, so don't worry about it. Yes, I have three kids, work full-time, and have a dog that sheds, so I need someone to help me straighten the house. I'm not entitled or sitting around doing my pedicure, AND, while hard-working, I can still feel sad about letting someone go. Imagine that!

                    [ Reply | More ]
                    09.01.10, 09:01 AM Flag
        • Excuse me, why should we feel that badly for the cleaning lady? She wasn't doing her job. If I don't do my job, I get fired. And I don't think anybody here would this my boss should be sad about it. Where is that different?

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 09:08 AM Flag
          • We shouldn't feel bad for her if she sucked. But we should feel even less bad for OP. It's not about her.

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 09:21 AM Flag
    • BT-Doing that with long-time nanny. It is so hard. She also does not speak English so it's very hard to find her another position. We are basically in debt over paying her for very very few hours just out of "feeling bad" She cried when we told her (8 weeks notice) and keeps crying now it is her last week. I feel like a terrible person and I'm working 24/7 to find her a new spot but bottom line- can't afford her anymore

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 08:56 AM Flag
      • better not look for sympathy on this board - these witches will flame anyone who has the audacity to have any guilty feelings about firing help that is doing a bad job. apparently you are not supposed to form any human attachments to people who work in your home.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 08:58 AM Flag
        • My nanny actually has not done anything wrong but my kids are grown up and for 2 years we have kept her on essentially because of guilt :( It's just a sucky situation all around and I realize waaaay more sucky for her than me which is why I feel so incredibly sad & guilty

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 09:00 AM Flag
        • Wrong. You are not supposed to expect sympathy because you fire people. Google had to lay off some people last year. Larry and Sergey, let's talk about how bad that makes you feel. Aw, you feel guilty about it? That must be a heavy cross to bear.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 09:03 AM Flag
          • The reality is it's never fun to let someone go- for whatever reason. I'm glad the OP posted. I know how she feels. I wish I were rich and could give my nanny and unlimited income...I wish she could work for us forever. It is sad :(

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 09:05 AM Flag
            • I completely agree with you. I have had to let a cleaning lady go before. But I don't expect anyone to feel sorry for me because of it! Even if my cleaning lady were doing a bad job, I would still think it was normal for someone to feel bad for HER instead of me. She's the one out of a job, I'm just left with a bad taste in my mouth. It doesn't seem comparable, YKWIM?

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 09:07 AM Flag
          • What is wrong with you? Have you ever had to let go of someone yourself? I'm an academic, but my father and sister both have jobs overseeing large companies and OF COURSE they feel badly about laying off people.

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 09:07 AM Flag
            • Yes, see my response above.

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 09:08 AM Flag
          • uh, yeah, actually I would feel bad for the actual people who had to deliver the message to the ones being fired - especially if they knew them well. I would feel WORSE for the people getting fired, but I would understand how unpleasant and sad a task it would be for the ones doing the firing. I think there is something wrong with you if you wouldn't feel bad having to tell someone you like a lot that he/she is out of a job.

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 09:26 AM Flag
            • You don't understand. Of course I would feel bad firing someone. Of course I would feel guilty afterwards. But I wouldn't go complaining to people that I felt guilty, because someone would be out of a job because of me.

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 09:28 AM Flag
              • The OP was just venting. Isn't that the point of this board? I'm sure some managers sit around and talk about how much it sucks to have to fire someone. Someone is taking the OP too seriously...life if by virtue of posting she's saying she deserves more sympathy than the lady she is firing. I read it as her saying "isn't this a sucky situation? anyone else btdt?"

                [ Reply | More ]
                09.01.10, 09:32 AM Flag
              • That's just silly. You're allowed to have emotions, and to express them to others - especially valid ones like feeling awful about having to deliver bad news to another human being that you care about.

                [ Reply | More ]
                09.01.10, 09:32 AM Flag
                • I understand what you mean, but it seems to me that this particular situation calls for a little more discretion and restraint.

                  [ Reply | More ]
                  09.01.10, 09:34 AM Flag
                  • Why discretion??? This is an anonymous board. She did not say her name or lady's name

                    [ Reply | More ]
                    09.01.10, 09:35 AM Flag
                    • No, I meant discretion concerning your own feelings. It's unseemly to complain about how you feel guilty about firing someone.

                      [ Reply | More ]
                      09.01.10, 09:37 AM Flag
                      • unseemly? come on. go to babycenter if you find this post unseemly.

                        [ Reply | More ]
                        09.01.10, 09:39 AM Flag
                        • ita. Honestly - it is obvious that OP cared about her cleaning lady on some level.

                          [ Reply | More ]
                          09.01.10, 11:18 AM Flag
                • OP: thank you! I can't see anywhere in my post where I expressed that I cared more about myself than my cleaning lady. The fact is, I care A LOT about her, which is why I'm upset! I was simply venting about a difficult situation for ALL parties - and the fact that I paid her a generous severance shows that I KNOW that it's much worse for her than for me! Seriously.

                  [ Reply | More ]
                  09.01.10, 11:22 AM Flag
    • Dear OP - i had to fire my cleaning lady last week because she was simply not putting things back into place and wrecking havoc in my life whenever I needed to find something. I spoke to her about it several times. She just didn't give a sh1t. STILL, I felt guilty about firing her. She has a small child to support. Anyway - I totally understand why you feel this way. I gave her so many chances because I didn't want to fire her. Don't worry - once you find a new cleaner - the guilt will go away.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 11:16 AM Flag
      • but apparently the haters won't!

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 11:23 AM Flag
      • OP: thanks! Good luck to you too. :)

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 11:24 AM Flag
  • [-]I just finished my list for preschools. How difficult is it to get two siblings (not twins) into the same school? I only have four schools on my list, is that enough? I do have three other schools in mind, but they either seem like long shots, are very expensive or are not in our nabe.

    20 replies [ Reply | Watch | More
    09.01.10, 01:16 PM Flag ]
    • 4 schools will NOT be be enough. You need to cast a wider net. Go for the long shots. I got in to our long shot and it was our only acceptance. GL

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 01:23 PM Flag
      • Ugh. Well, the four on my list are Brownstone, JCC, Stephen Wise and West Side Montessori. I heard that these are rather easy to get into, with the exception of Brownstone. I had Rodeph Sholom on my list, but it's $31K for pre-K and that's insane. I also had Temple Emanu-El, but I heard that's a long shot and Preschool of the Arts, but that's in Chelsea.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 01:28 PM Flag
        • Brownstone near impossible. I would add Columbus Pre-School to your list. Good program and easy to get into.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 01:29 PM Flag
          • Is Columbus in MH?

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 01:32 PM Flag
          • Columbus preschool is not a good program

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 02:34 PM Flag
        • West Side Montessori used to be much-much more difficult to get into then Brownstone. In-fact just 5 years ago it was considered more like a daycare place.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 01:30 PM Flag
          • West Side Montessori used to be considered a daycare? I do find the mixed classrooms odd.

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 01:31 PM Flag
            • Brownstone used to be considered mediocre. Was not that popular and very easy to get a spot even mid-year. It is funny how the popularity of these places changes every few years.

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 01:33 PM Flag
              • Not accurate - it's always been a desirable school. The whole lottery thing is newer, but I know parents that went in the 70's and 80's and they loved it.

                [ Reply | More ]
                09.01.10, 01:45 PM Flag
                • It was always fine but it wasn't difficult to get a spot.

                  [ Reply | More ]
                  09.01.10, 02:12 PM Flag
            • WSMS is not that hard to get into. It's a big school, lots of spots.

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 02:32 PM Flag
        • add IPS, westside Y and woodside. How old will your dcs be when they start school?

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 01:30 PM Flag
          • My eldest will be 3.10yo and my youngest 2.3yo. I know my youngest can't apply to WSM.

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 01:33 PM Flag
            • your 3.10 y/o has a decent chance at brownstones 3s program. its the 2s that are impossible to get into at brownstone because its all sibs. Maybe just focus on schools for the 3 y/o and send the 2.3 y/o to a fcfs place or not at all and then switch the following year.

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 01:35 PM Flag
              • Yes, that is my plan, but I am hoping to send him to preschool for at least two days because my eldest was 2.3yo when he started a program and he needed it. He's very wired.

                [ Reply | More ]
                09.01.10, 01:41 PM Flag
            • I cannot find a link to Westside Y.

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 01:38 PM Flag
        • Don't know about the others but JCC and Stephen Wise are not that easy to get into.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 01:50 PM Flag
          • everyone I know that wanted JCC got in.

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.02.10, 07:13 AM Flag
        • Are you a member at Emanu-El? If not it is even a long shot to get an application

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 05:50 PM Flag
  • [-]I am mortified!child stated to art teacher and pre-school mom , "Do you know why you too match?" Teacher states, "Why?" Daughter states, "Because you are both fat". She is four and too her credit it was an accurate observation but jeez...

    40 replies [ Reply | Watch | More
    09.01.10, 04:39 PM Flag ]
    • may I ask (and I'm not being snarky) but why does your dc know this word. I mean how does she know to use it to describe ppl? That word is not allowed in my house to describe anything big.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 04:44 PM Flag
      • np: ita. We have the same rules. We teach our dcs to describe ppl by their names or their item of clothing (if they forgot the name) never and I mean never say fat or skinny, black, white, green, ect.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 04:48 PM Flag
        • I really like this advice. Have never even thought about it - just always assumed that kids will eventually say something like this.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 04:49 PM Flag
          • or: kids esp. when they're in preschool don't know fat, skinny, black, white. They know what they're shown or taught mostly by their parents. It will stay this way as long as we teach them the proper way to address or speak of someone. My oldest is 10 yr old and she knows better than to call someone fat. I don't deny she may do it behind my back when with friends but I have to hope that she remembers what we've instilled in her and my other 2 dcs.

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 04:59 PM Flag
            • You know I agree with not calling people fat etc. and we do not and I never talk about weight in general. But DD, 8, picks it up from other children, TV, etc., and I have had to emphasize that a) don't risk offending someone by saying fat and b) everyone comes in different shapes and sizes. She also constantly hears other mothers talk about fat and thin and weight.

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.02.10, 06:51 AM Flag
        • ITD. This is not how you teach kids, by NOT discussing the subjects you feel uncomfortable w.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.02.10, 12:13 AM Flag
      • NP me either. I am really surprised that a 4 yr old knows to call someone "fat" who is fat -- OP you need to watch how you speak about other people in front of her from now on. Wow.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 04:50 PM Flag
        • My four year old told me on Saturday that I am fat. And guess what? I am. I also believe in teaching our children to tell the truth.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 05:00 PM Flag
          • you can teach your dc to speak the truth but the right way. We don't want our kids to have diarrhea mouth, we teach them how to filter things

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 05:15 PM Flag
            • preachy mc-preachy. yeah, whatever.

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 05:26 PM Flag
              • now I know where your dc gets it from

                [ Reply | More ]
                09.01.10, 05:35 PM Flag
                • I know...and your child is SO MUCH BETTER than mine, right?

                  [ Reply | More ]
                  09.01.10, 05:40 PM Flag
                • np: I know, OP sounds horrible. She was probably proud of her dd for being so rude.

                  [ Reply | More ]
                  09.01.10, 06:18 PM Flag
          • There's a difference btw teaching your children to tell the truth and teaching them to be rude. Do you want a kid who is going to tell people they are fat, ugly, whatever? B/c your kid is either going to be a bully or a huge outcast, and you'll be the parent with "that" kid who has diarrhea mouth.

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 08:32 PM Flag
      • We don't use the word fat in the house either, but my kids know it as a vocabulary word. They've overheard it used, and it comes up in books (even children's books, though it's usually used to describe an animal rather than a person). I'm all for teaching kids not to use it, but isn't knowing it unavoidable (and not necessarily bad)? My 4 year old son commented once on a waitress being fat (to us, but in earshot of the waitress...luckily we were not in an english-speaking country at the time so I'm hoping she didn't understand). It (obviously!) prompted a discussion of appropriate ways to describe people, and he hasn't said anything similar since, but I wasn't surprised that he knew the word...

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 04:56 PM Flag
        • but you used that moment as a teaching moment..that was the right thing to do. Of course it's unavoidable since the dcs are around other kids but when they do say it, you must do exactly as you did!

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 05:17 PM Flag
        • Thank you for your honesty. I am sure other awkward moments will come up in life. It also prompted a discussion of appropriate ways to describe people. For the record I don't think my daughter subscribes negative connotations to the word "fat" it was simply an observation.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 06:05 PM Flag
    • whether or not it is an active vocabulary word in the house, the media has a way of working it in. children are not oblivious to fat, they are however oblivious at 4 years old to cultural associations of fat. but that too will work itself in eventually.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 04:59 PM Flag
    • after watching Wall-E, 5yo dd asked her grandparents recently if they were fat. dh felt it necessary to apologize and provide an explanation but if one thinks about it, why should he, they are fat, anybody can see that, dd just hasn't been taught to repress herself.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 05:09 PM Flag
      • why should he? Because it's rude. Your child didn't intend for it to be rude. Now if we (as parents) don't take that teaching moment and talk to them, your 5 yr old , in the near future will be using it and with intention

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 05:19 PM Flag
    • My DS keeps trying to describe people by the color of their skin... "the white kid pushed me," "the brown kid told me so," etc. It is also mortifying.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 05:17 PM Flag
      • tell him to use names or describe clothing. We have to repeat over and over again but eventually they will get it

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 05:21 PM Flag
        • oh, we do. i hope it starts sinking in soon!

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 05:59 PM Flag
        • NP- This is an interesting concept and I kind of like it. I am also reminded of a recent column or something I read written by an African American man commenting on how funny it is when white people go out of their way to identify somebody as black lest they sound racist.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 07:47 PM Flag
          • ^^, uh meant to say "not to identify somebody..."

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 08:22 PM Flag
    • A 4-yo knows what fat (skinny, tall, short, dark, light) mean. They just don't know that society has appended judgments to these factual descriptions. OP, I doubt you did anything wrong (unless you sit around the dinner table making fun of the fat people you encountered that day). You can begin the conversation with dd that while, yes, some people are fat (skinny/tall/short/dark/light), they sometimes feel self conscious about it and don't want it pointed out. She'll get it as she matures, but it's okay that she hasn't learned that yet. (And yes, I'm overweight (BMI 26.5), and my dd (5.5) has noted that I am "fat" from time to time. I don't deny it or downplay. I make the point that yes, that's the way I am, and it's not something to be ash...

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 05:30 PM Flag
      • don't you think it's better to teach them not to use that word but maybe use overweight instead or big (bigger). I'm overweight too and I think word is a hateful word (because of the way most of society uses it).

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 05:37 PM Flag
        • Eh, I prefer that she not learn that "fat" (or any other descriptor) is a Bad Word. Fat describes a person's body, not his or her moral character or worth as a human being. "Overweight" (aside from the clinical meaning tied to BMI) is often a euphemism, and by using it you imply that "fat" is a bad word. Call a spade a spade, but--as you grow in sensitivity--be aware that the spade might not want to be reminded of that fact. Even as she learns that "fat" actually *is* a bad word to some people, she can (I hope) avoid seeing it as such herself.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 05:49 PM Flag
          • np You're a piece of work.

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 05:54 PM Flag
            • Because I don't judge people based on their appearance?

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 07:05 PM Flag
              • Because you seem to think it's fine for your kid to run around describing others' bodies.

                [ Reply | More ]
                09.01.10, 07:46 PM Flag
                • Ah, I see I what you mean. I wasn't clear for all my verbosity. I agree that one shouldn't describe a person by his/her body, and don't encourage dd to. I do also let dd know that it's rude to describe other's bodies. Above I over emphasized my efforts to also keep those same word from becoming moral judgments. Gah, I'm just making a mess of this now. Guess I am a piece of work!

                  [ Reply | More ]
                  09.01.10, 08:06 PM Flag
      • Neither of my kids nor their friends has ever called me fat. And believe me, I AM fat. OP's kid sounds like a brat.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 05:52 PM Flag
    • you do know that too is also spelled "to" and "two" depending on your usage, right?

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 06:17 PM Flag
      • It could be that OP is two uneducated too teach her DD too respect teachers.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.02.10, 12:15 AM Flag
    • Hope you took it seriously and aren't just re-telling the story over and over as a "cute little tale" and an eye-roll with her standing right there. That is definitely mortifying but more importantly - it is completely UNKIND and should not be tolerated.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 07:20 PM Flag
    • I'm all about teaching kids to be polite, have good manners, not point out things that will be perceived as insulting. But OP, I don't think this particular situation reflects badly on you or your kid. Despite assertions above that if you simply forbid the words kids won't use them, I think kids speak up with all sorts of observations that are distasteful to adult ears and impolite by adult standards (This dinner is yukky, you aren't my friend any more, that man doesn't have any hair on his head). It is a mark of maturity when a child learns that it is okay to say "my, what pretty red hair you have" and "my, you are very fat." As parents, we need to remind them daily how to develop into kind, non-judgmental and graceful older kids and a...

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 07:43 PM Flag
      • ^^^oops, obviously meant to say and NOT "my, you are very fat."

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 07:45 PM Flag
    • I would be mortified, too. Your DD is terribly rude.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.02.10, 03:29 AM Flag
      • P.S. I love how you actually think that this somehow reflects well on her because her rude and unkind remark was accurate. Yikes.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.02.10, 03:30 AM Flag
  • [-]Would appreciate any insight/opinions on afterschool programs. DC is starting kindergarten in an UWS public school and we are exploring afterschool programs for him. We are thinking of Wingspan, PS87 afterschool or the Westside Y. Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

    14 replies [ Reply | Watch | More
    08.29.10, 10:44 PM Flag ]
    • I think everyone / anyone who attends these is happy with them. I would think about where dc is at school, where you live, what is most convenient for you to pick up, etc. While I have heard good things about Westside (and Jcc for that matter) the idea of my child being transported by some babysitter pick up in a group in terrible weather, rain, snow, sleet etc or trudging through inclemate weather is unappealing to me and I'd stick with the good option where s/he is at school if K/1/2. Maybe for g3 - 5 if they have a strong preference/interest in something that is better served outside the school, okay, but my bias would be to stay at school. IN that vein, you don't mention 199 so I assume you're not at school there but K parents there st...

      [ Reply | More ]
      08.30.10, 04:16 PM Flag
    • fwiw, we did some of the 'film-related' afterschools at PS87 in K and 1, and dc loved them! less happy with some of the other options in later years, which sounded good on paper, but didn't add up to much.

      [ Reply | More ]
      08.31.10, 08:39 AM Flag
    • I don't understand, can't you only go to PS87 if that's where your child is in school? And Wingspan is at some other schools. Do kids hop from one school to another for the afterschool?

      [ Reply | More ]
      08.31.10, 08:43 AM Flag
      • Not op, and I don't know anything about wingspan, but Westside Y and 87 are open to outsiders. But yeah, most people stay at their home schools, because few (if any!) after school options are "worth" traveling too if you have a decent one at home base...that said, some don't have decent ones that's why they go out o fhouse I think to say the Westside Y, or maybe it's near parents home if dc is at a lottery school from which Westside Y picks up at, or magnet/g and t option...that kind of thing, I imagine.

        [ Reply | More ]
        08.31.10, 10:53 AM Flag
        • thanks, I just looked at the PS 87 afterschool webpage. Students from other schools are responsible for their own transportation. Unless you have a group of kids at your school that want to do this together that would be a show stopper for me. Even if dc is at 452 right down the block you'd need a babysitter to walk them from one school to the other.

          [ Reply | More ]
          08.31.10, 11:06 AM Flag
          • I was told that 452 kids would be walked over by someone (an instructor, etc.) that was involved in the afterschool.

            [ Reply | More ]
            08.31.10, 06:35 PM Flag
            • IMO 452 parents should choose whatever they offer at 452 rather than 87. The kids and parents need the school to have its own identity separate form the 87 overflow school.

              [ Reply | More ]
              08.31.10, 06:39 PM Flag
              • The Anderson program's afterschool is being shared with 452, I understand. Which makes sense, as they're in the same building, and as there's 2 K classes at A for K, and 3 classes at 452, so you add those two schools together and that's 5--there's still MORE K classes at 87, with 6! Oh my!

                [ Reply | More ]
                08.31.10, 09:02 PM Flag
                • So which program do you think would be a better choice for 452 dcs?

                  [ Reply | More ]
                  09.01.10, 12:36 AM Flag
                  • I would vote Anderson simply because it's right there. Seems enough of a transition to dc to just be starting K. S/he should stay there, not add a hike on to it (to a K kid, one block is a distance!). I would be delighted to have the option of A students as a peer group for my dc! I'm stereotyping here, but perhaps they tend on the whole to be more mature for their age etc. I would not let the high score in any way intimidate me re my dc ability wise, it's afterschool so the point is games and activities and fun. I would think it would be a good mix. Certainly one worth trying first IMHO. Put it this way, they won't be lowering the bar.

                    [ Reply | More ]
                    09.01.10, 07:40 AM Flag
                    • ITA. They're going to be in the building with the A kids for years, might as well make friends with them.

                      [ Reply | More ]
                      09.02.10, 06:47 AM Flag
              • ITTA. 452 is not an annex to 87.

                [ Reply | More ]
                09.01.10, 11:50 AM Flag
                • Yes, but I think some parents want it to be and wish it were so. Not sure why...herd intinct?

                  [ Reply | More ]
                  09.01.10, 07:50 PM Flag
    • for the first semester of K at least I would do whatever your school offers. K can be a tough transition and then to have to be transported from school to a different facility its just a lot.

      [ Reply | More ]
      08.31.10, 11:13 AM Flag
  • [-]Bedbugs really are everywhere. I now know dozens of apts that have had them, at all socioeconomic levels. It's amazing.

    30 replies [ Reply | Watch | More
    09.01.10, 02:00 PM Flag ]
    • i've been seeing mattress after mattress on different blocks. gross!!!

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 02:22 PM Flag
    • Are the apts belonging to friends/ people you know? Just curious how one finds out whether there's an infestation in their building.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 02:26 PM Flag
      • www.bedbugregistry.com

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 02:32 PM Flag
        • np People who live in fancy coops aren't going to hang their dirty laundry out on a site like that.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 02:51 PM Flag
          • Agreed, and therefore I think that tenants in rental buildings disclose it more often and therefore the rental buildings deal with the problem more efficiently

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 03:00 PM Flag
          • NNP: I don't know - I just clicked on the link and one of the recent reports was for a Park Avenue building.

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.02.10, 03:28 AM Flag
            • nnnp--Anyone can post on bedbug registry. There's no outside verification. I would use it, but take it with a grain of salt. NY state just passed a law requiring landlords to reveal history of bedbug presence in buildings.

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.02.10, 03:33 AM Flag
    • There's something a little fake about this post. How does OP know dozens of apts with the problem when the rate of infestation is about 1 in 15? Unless OP is from an exterminator company or something...

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 02:28 PM Flag
      • np 1 in 15??!?! Seriously?

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 02:51 PM Flag
        • OR: not sure where I read it, possibly on UB, which is never the most reliable source of information. I guess I should take it back as 1 in 15 seems high to me, but just used that number to demonstrate that OP's statement doesn't ring true. I am very OCD about bed bugs, but the sceptic in me thinks that while it is a problem, many companies and individuals have a financial incentive to overhype it.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 02:57 PM Flag
          • NP: I'm the one who posted 1 in 15 a few days ago on UB... I read it in a Times article. I think it was from this weekend or last week?

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 03:19 PM Flag
    • there are about 20 apt in my co-op infested..we have 3 buildings all together. There was a lady who sat on a bench, looked on her shirt and saw one YUCK

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 02:49 PM Flag
      • np: would you care to elaborate on which buildings are specifically infested? Not doubting your comments or anything, but I have heard a lot of "I know someone who has a problem" but nothing specific about which building it is.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 03:29 PM Flag
    • I am absolutely FREAKED OUT about getting these. FREAKED OUT, I tell you. For example, I stopped going to movie theaters in Manhattan, because someone told me EVERY movie theatre has them. Every one. Imagine going to see an overrated, overpriced so-so flick and bringing those things home with ya?

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 03:15 PM Flag
      • I'm freaked out too and I also have stopped going out to the movies. YUCK

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 03:23 PM Flag
      • I don't know why they hell they don't have vinyl seats in theaters. People spill drinks and get grease and chocolate all over them--to say nothing of bugs. Better to be able to wipe them down

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 03:26 PM Flag
        • What's more disgusting are those 3-D glasses that they hand out... I bet they don't disinfect them before handing them out again. In fact, when I asked the guy handing them out if they had been cleaned, he looked at me like I had 2 heads. Imagine all those germs near your eyes!

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 03:35 PM Flag
          • You are me! When I brought DC to see Toy Story III, I was skeeved by those glasses. To think, we could have picked up nits and bedbugs in one Loews spectacular showing. Two for the price of one!

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 04:55 PM Flag
      • glad I haven't been to the movies in 5 years. Promised dd a couple of movies but I think I'll wait for dvd now

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.02.10, 03:36 AM Flag
    • OP here. Several large buildings in my neighborhood - easily dozens of apts right there - as well as other people I know casually in other areas, e.g. Brooklyn. Discussion at hairdresser's. Someone's brother, someone else's parents. Go ahead and doubt me but I'm guessing you are in for a big surprise if you think this is a small or limited problem.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 06:31 PM Flag
    • My office has them.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 06:33 PM Flag
      • oh no! What are you doing? Spraying the soles of your shoes with rubbing alcohol before you enter the house is a good precaution.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 06:34 PM Flag
        • Scoured my apt, had every piece of clothing in my office dry cleaned, and used a blow dryer on my office shoes. My office is being completely treated. So far, so good. I have never once seen any bug, btw. I have done some research and feel more informed and less scared now than a week ago. This is unpleasant to deal with, but it

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 06:36 PM Flag
          • ^^^ is increasingly common. It

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 06:37 PM Flag
      • same here, they fumigated two weeks ago, totally disgusting

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 06:39 PM Flag
    • We had them in our building last summer. It was strange - some neighbors had them so bad that they finally moved out some (crazy) tenants would let the inspectors in their apartments. But not every apartment got them. We had a company called mite busters come and treat our apartment as if we had them even though we didn't. We never got them.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 07:52 PM Flag
      • ^^ I meant crazy tenant wouldn't let the inspectors in.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 07:53 PM Flag
    • I usually do not freak out about things but bed bugs and lice freak me out!!! Just hoping it is media hype.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 09:47 PM Flag
      • My sister got them, she sprayed herself once and got rid of them.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.02.10, 01:42 AM Flag
  • [-]anyone have the name of a mohel who is also an md?

    7 replies [ Reply | Watch | More
    12.23.07, 08:19 PM Flag ]
    • Dr. Dorothy F. Greenbaum - didn't use her though, she wasn't available for our date

      [ Reply | More ]
      12.23.07, 09:05 PM Flag
      • she was great! we liked her a lot

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 10:03 PM Flag
    • Re: anyone have the name of a mohel who is also an md? Dr. Diamond - he is a urologist who did my friend's twin boys bris - the babies didn't even cry!

      [ Reply | More ]
      12.24.07, 04:12 AM Flag
    • we used Barry Meisel who was recommended by Dr greenbaum

      [ Reply | More ]
      12.24.07, 05:57 AM Flag
    • Dr. Eric Diamond was my mohel. He was excellent! The baby didn't even cry! He was quick and we really enjoyed the service that he did. All of my friends have been using Dr. Eric Diamond too. They have all been happy. He is a pediatric urologist and surgeon.

      [ Reply | More ]
      01.21.09, 04:21 PM Flag
    • We just used Dr. Rick Roberts (TheRoyalMohel.Com) who extremely kind and very sincere.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 07:12 PM Flag
      • He is an OB-GYN that is very accomodating and well skilled...His ceremony is unique and very inclusive. Everyone was very impressed!!!

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 07:15 PM Flag
  • [-]My list of 2nd Tier schools that I still like (after touring) is dwindling..now I have only Cathedral..any other ideas for 2nd Tier options? I'm getting nervous

    35 replies [ Reply | Watch | More
    11.02.04, 07:15 AM Flag ]
    • OMG This tier BS is so annoying. How about thinking for yourself? What a novel idea. You should be nervous.

      [ Reply | More ]
      11.02.04, 07:24 AM Flag
      • NP: maybe OP does think for herself, likes the most selective schools, but her DC doesn't have the scores or whatever to be considered. She's just stressed out and looking for help. Stop being so rude! You are not being helpful.

        [ Reply | More ]
        11.02.04, 07:31 AM Flag
        • OP: you got my point thanks. I think DC has a fighting chance to the schools we really like...but need solid back-ups...I don't see anything wrong with that

          [ Reply | More ]
          11.02.04, 07:35 AM Flag
          • I agree with the BS poster -- this tier business is extremely pompous and annoying. Just find a school that you feel will benefit your child & family & don't give a rat's a** about tier BS!!

            [ Reply | More ]
            11.02.04, 07:37 AM Flag
            • Let me try this: By 2nd Tier I mean schools I'm not crazy about..but would consider decent alternatives

              [ Reply | More ]
              11.02.04, 07:39 AM Flag
            • what a bunch of cranks this morning posting here...wouldn't it only be pompous if she was asking for help with top tier??

              [ Reply | More ]
              11.02.04, 09:47 AM Flag
            • No, you and the OR and the ones who are pompous and annoying. If you can't help the OP, you should ignore the post. She was asking for help, not condescending opinions from ill-mannered people.

              [ Reply | More ]
              11.02.04, 11:58 AM Flag
    • NP. That's what happened to me last year with presch. I realized that for the most part the top tier schools were better (better teachers, better facilities, more thoughtful approaches). Very depressing. I would have thought that things would be more complex at the ongoings.

      [ Reply | More ]
      11.02.04, 07:43 AM Flag
    • I will try to help you. What schools are currently on your list, are you looking only at co-ed, do you have a boy or girl, and are you applying for K? I will not "tier" schools, but maybe can help brainstorm on other attributes of schools that'd fit.

      [ Reply | More ]
      11.02.04, 07:52 AM Flag
      • looking for structured co-ed schools

        [ Reply | More ]
        11.02.04, 08:00 AM Flag
        • St. Hilda's, UNIS, Riverdale, Town, Met Montessori, Dwight, Birch Wathen Lenox

          [ Reply | More ]
          11.02.04, 08:03 AM Flag
          • Don't really think Riverdale belongs on this list. Has become very competitive and has many who go on to Ivies.

            [ Reply | More ]
            11.02.04, 08:13 AM Flag
            • Def. agree. Not on same level as schools like Dwight, BWL, UNIS. Also, has become a big ERB school.

              [ Reply | More ]
              11.02.04, 08:18 AM Flag
              • OP: DC - Verbal 95; perf. 80

                [ Reply | More ]
                11.02.04, 08:19 AM Flag
              • And UNIS is 100 times better academically than all of those mentioned, except for maybe, Riverdale

                [ Reply | More ]
                11.02.04, 08:20 AM Flag
                • UNIS is 100 times better academically than Town???

                  [ Reply | More ]
                  11.02.04, 08:21 AM Flag
                  • Of course. Do you know anything about the IB? An educator who I respect told me that UNIS is very demanding academically.

                    [ Reply | More ]
                    11.02.04, 08:23 AM Flag
                    • I was told that UNIS has great lower school, but upper school is lacking

                      [ Reply | More ]
                      11.02.04, 08:24 AM Flag
                  • Yes,

                    [ Reply | More ]
                    11.02.04, 08:23 AM Flag
            • Yes, but I consider anything that's not Trinity, Dalton, HM, Brearley or Collegiate to be "second tier"

              [ Reply | More ]
              11.02.04, 08:19 AM Flag
              • you sound like me - that exactly what I said in that old post about tiering schools.

                [ Reply | More ]
                11.02.04, 09:20 PM Flag
        • How about Columbia Grammar?

          [ Reply | More ]
          11.02.04, 08:29 AM Flag
          • agree about CG & Town - both great schools.

            [ Reply | More ]
            11.02.04, 09:22 PM Flag
    • Look at Bank St and St Hilda's and St. Hughes. If you don't mind progressive, there is Calhoun.

      [ Reply | More ]
      11.02.04, 07:54 AM Flag
      • Town alum and Trevor mom here: Town is very strong academically, don't think you can call it 2d tier, kid needs to work hard and be smart. Trevor takes a wide variety of kids but challenges the top kids. It is also a lot more structured than people (m) think. There is a very strong structure there but their ideas on how to present things within the structure are progressive. You should put it on your list cuz it is easier to get into than places like Trinity and Dalton if that's how you define "2d tier."

        [ Reply | More ]
        11.02.04, 10:01 PM Flag
    • It's the language that really drives me nuts. Why not just say "first or second choice". Labeling things in tiers is so condescending. People make choices based on so many things other than status. OP mind sharing what your "top tier" shools are?

      [ Reply | More ]
      11.02.04, 08:05 AM Flag
      • OP: Tiers are in the eyes of the beholder..If I had seen (and believe me I've toured 10 schools so far) a school widely considered "2nd Tier" that I loved I would consider it "1st Tier"...but unfortunately didn't happen..given the hostility (m) of some responders I'm dropping it.

        [ Reply | More ]
        11.02.04, 08:09 AM Flag
        • You're dropping a school from your list because of what people on UB said??????!!!!!!!!!!!

          [ Reply | More ]
          11.02.04, 08:16 AM Flag
          • no dropping the subject (i.e., refuse to engage in a conversation about my list)

            [ Reply | More ]
            11.02.04, 08:18 AM Flag
            • Some of us (including me) are trying to be helpful. Ignore the cranky ones.

              [ Reply | More ]
              11.02.04, 08:22 AM Flag
      • It's called Life my friend. In every sphere there are tiers. It's how the human brain categorizes info. Nothing wrong with it and I think it's almost infantile for you to be screaming to this poor parent who is just trying to develop a back up list ( of schools for her child.

        [ Reply | More ]
        11.02.04, 08:21 AM Flag
        • ITA

          [ Reply | More ]
          11.02.04, 12:08 PM Flag
          • It is so hard to get into any private school in NYC, I think it's important to acknowledge that some are harder than others. If you really want your kid to go to private school you have to apply to a lot (10? 12?) and have a mix of hard to get in and less hard, just don't use the word "tier" if you don't want. But if you apply only to HM Dalton and Trinity you have to accept that your kid may end up at public-which may be fine-don't get me wrong, just depends on what you want. If it's private at all costs, your kid may go to BWL instead of HM, and that may be fine for that kid, just face that there are differences whether you call then "tiers" or not.

            [ Reply | More ]
            11.02.04, 10:14 PM Flag
        • oh no, another provincial new yorker.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 09:34 PM Flag
  • [-]We need to redo a bathroom (we live in a Manhattan coop). Any advice on whom to use or whom to stay away from? We heard so many horror stories... Tia.

    5 replies [ Reply | Watch | More
    09.01.10, 02:20 PM Flag ]
    • this is a good one. I'm looking to do my kitchen next yr and also live in a co-op

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 02:46 PM Flag
    • Make sure you contact the DCA for complaints histories before you hire anyone. Just call 311.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 02:49 PM Flag
    • ask for recommendations from previous jobs. and not just one, but 3, and follow thru on them. i relied on 1 recommendation that was faulty, visited a job site but should have talked to the owner instead. best to talk to actual clients, not just the architect/designer who wants to protect his/her a$$ by putting a positive face on everything.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 05:04 PM Flag
      • np Right. And get the clients' full names AND their address. Then check ACRIS on nyc.gov to see if people by that name own the property.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 07:54 PM Flag
    • We had a great experience with our contractor (redid bathroom entirely and a bunch of other things in our apartment), though we live in a condo: Enviro contractor (516) 872-4577

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 07:45 PM Flag
  • [-]Going rate for nannies (starting point, new hire) for 2 kids? 50 hr wk, 1 kid in school full-days. Light housekeeping (the standard). 2nd kid naps 2 hrs day (only pt being that it's a long day, but there's a 2 hr lull).

    10 replies [ Reply | Watch | More
    09.01.10, 01:42 PM Flag ]
    • 625-725. Depends on what you want and where you live. generally 12-15/hour

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 01:58 PM Flag
    • housekeeping is not a standard

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 01:58 PM Flag
      • Light housekeeping is def a standard. Keeping the kids' rooms tidy, doing their laundry. I don't know anyone who doesn't ask this.

        [ Reply | More ]
        09.01.10, 02:01 PM Flag
        • I don't. I ask the house be in the same condition as when I left and have a cleaning person come once a week. 2 dc's, one in school and I pay 700 a week under the table. Nanny is college educated and does homework with older dc.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 02:05 PM Flag
          • Alright, well everyone else i know has their nanny do light housekeeping. Nothing heavy

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 02:06 PM Flag
            • Ours did anything and everything kid related (laundry, changed beds, cleaned room, etc.), which extended to kitchen and bath they used, as far as keeping them neat, so cleaned up after their baths and meals. Was NEVER asked or expected to do anything of ours (cleaning, wash, etc.).

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 03:10 PM Flag
          • np That would be light housekeeping, don't you think?

            [ Reply | More ]
            09.01.10, 03:12 PM Flag
            • Splitting hairs. Yes, it is light and it is housework and if it is child related, it is expected. I think some misunderstood it to mean light general housekeeping (making parents' bed, cleaning their bath, doing their wash...).

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 03:14 PM Flag
            • How does this OR think that she's not having her nanny do light housekeeping? Am so confused.

              [ Reply | More ]
              09.01.10, 04:40 PM Flag
        • Ditto. Everyone I know asks this too. And every nanny I've ever hired or interviewed has expected to do it. The gray areas are family laundry and heavier hking (bathrooms; mopping, etc) which require higher pay.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 03:08 PM Flag
  • [-]If you are an interfaith couple who is raising the DCs Jewish, which preschools would you have on your list for this upcoming admission cycle? TIA!

    20 replies [ Reply | Watch | More
    03.30.10, 03:37 PM Flag ]
    • pretty much any one.

      [ Reply | More ]
      03.30.10, 04:02 PM Flag
      • You are not helpful, specifically looking for Jewish preschools.

        [ Reply | More ]
        03.30.10, 04:04 PM Flag
        • you are not clear. you did not say that.

          [ Reply | More ]
          03.30.10, 04:13 PM Flag
    • If you are raising your kids Jewish what does being interfaith matter? Pick a Jewish preschool that you like.

      [ Reply | More ]
      03.30.10, 04:11 PM Flag
      • Duh, a lot of dense people on tonight. Interfaith means that one member of the couple isn't Jewish. OP is raising the DCs Jewish so she wants a Jewish preschool that isn't going to make the nonJewish spouse uncomfortable.

        [ Reply | More ]
        03.30.10, 04:18 PM Flag
        • Duh, that was clear. Thanks for stating the obvious. As one half of an interfaith couple, it really doesn't matter unless the kids are being raised Orthodox, and in this case she probably wouldn't marry a non-Jew. So, as would be obvious to the intelligent people here, pick a reform or conservative preschool that you like and which your non-Jewish DH will presumably tour as well.

          [ Reply | More ]
          03.30.10, 04:33 PM Flag
          • np- That's not necessarily true. To some schools it does matter.

            [ Reply | More ]
            03.30.10, 05:09 PM Flag
          • I would check out the JCC and Preschool of the Americas

            [ Reply | More ]
            03.30.10, 05:20 PM Flag
          • I know interfaith couples at several of the big UES jewish preschools. I don't think it matters.

            [ Reply | More ]
            03.30.10, 05:59 PM Flag
            • At dc's UES jewish preschool tons of the parents are interfaith

              [ Reply | More ]
              03.31.10, 07:59 AM Flag
    • are you taking a break from your seder?

      [ Reply | More ]
      03.30.10, 05:38 PM Flag
    • Friends at Stephen Wise & Rodeph with Catholic spouses, all very happy

      [ Reply | More ]
      03.30.10, 08:06 PM Flag
    • Temple Emanuel on the UES has a lot of interfaith families but you probably needed to join a while ago

      [ Reply | More ]
      03.31.10, 06:57 AM Flag
    • Do you attend services at any specific temple? If that temple has a school, that's your #1 choice to look at. Then consider the jewish schools that are not orthodox yeshivas, such as JCC, Stephen Wise, and the like.

      [ Reply | More ]
      03.31.10, 06:59 AM Flag
      • probably at this point, for most temples, OP would have had to join some time ago. That being said, I do know some people who were nonmembers whose children attend Central, Temple Israel and Shaaray Tefila. Forget Emanuel. Members can't even get in

        [ Reply | More ]
        03.31.10, 07:46 AM Flag
        • I should say - those at the temples who are non members are rare

          [ Reply | More ]
          03.31.10, 07:49 AM Flag
    • We're interfaith, raising kids Jewish -- applied to JCC and Stephen Wise. No issue at either.

      [ Reply | More ]
      09.01.10, 03:00 PM Flag
  • [-]Who really got into Temple Emanuel for 2s this year? How many people?

    19 replies [ Reply | Watch | More
    • Someone I know claims she did, but who knows. She's a known fibber.

      [ Reply | More ]
      03.16.10, 08:15 PM Flag
      • Is her kid going?

        [ Reply | More ]
        03.17.10, 01:20 AM Flag
      • if she did, her child has to be going, they got all their contracts back. No movement off the waitlist in 2s

        [ Reply | More ]
        03.17.10, 01:22 AM Flag
      • If she's not connected, she's lying. It was sibs and temple members. A very tight year. If she's not going, she's fibbing for sure.

        [ Reply | More ]
        03.17.10, 03:54 PM Flag
        • Oh stop with the "connected," banter. Different definitions of connected are so humorous that I can't help but LOL.

          [ Reply | More ]
          03.17.10, 03:58 PM Flag
          • No, it's true at TE. If you are not a sib or a long time temple member, (Many people are the 3rd or 4th generation of their family to belong) it's almost impossible. In this instance, that's what connected means.

            [ Reply | More ]
            03.17.10, 04:02 PM Flag
            • Also, legacy. I forgot that.

              [ Reply | More ]
              03.17.10, 04:03 PM Flag
            • So how do you explain a member for a couple of years who claims to know the rabbi personally? Does that count as being "connected?"

              [ Reply | More ]
              03.17.10, 05:22 PM Flag
              • NP here - this means Nothiing as this Rabbi has no clout with Ellen. He will be the first to tell you he does not get involved.

                [ Reply | More ]
                03.20.10, 04:01 PM Flag
                • Interesting, b/c I know for a fact this person hasn't been a multi-generation member. Whole thing is BS.

                  [ Reply | More ]
                  03.21.10, 07:31 PM Flag
    • DD did but we heard it was really tight this year. Almost all siblings

      [ Reply | More ]
      03.17.10, 01:21 AM Flag
      • And so you're bragging! Nice!

        [ Reply | More ]
        03.17.10, 05:07 AM Flag
        • Duh, how is this bragging? The poster asked for people, wanting to know who got in. The OR gave the answer.

          [ Reply | More ]
          09.01.10, 02:56 PM Flag
    • Ironically, 3 of these posts came in within 3 minutes of each other. Love when people try and pretend to be 3 different people. Mid-day I'd believe it, but not at 4 am. I bet your DD isn't even going to Emanuel.

      [ Reply | More ]
      03.17.10, 05:10 AM Flag
      • This is the funniest thing I've seen. You're right, the questions, "Is her kid going?" and the comments, "if she did, her child has to be going, they got all their contracts back. No movement off the waitlist in 2s," and "DD did but we heart it was really tight this year. Almost all siblings" are 100% written by the same person! What a LOSER!

        [ Reply | More ]
        03.17.10, 05:52 AM Flag
        • I've been watching this today. Can't wait to see what happens!

          [ Reply | More ]
          03.17.10, 12:37 PM Flag
      • np- curious, how do you see the post times?

        [ Reply | More ]
        03.17.10, 04:04 PM Flag
        • Click options. It tells you!

          [ Reply | More ]
          03.17.10, 05:22 PM Flag
        • You are 100% the same person who wrote about 3rd and 4th generations up top. You posted this within a minute of posting that! I am also willing to bet you're the same person who wrote 3x about the connections, the waitlist, and the tightness of admissions despite your DD getting in. Now you realized you got caught b/c we can tell when you posted! LOSER!

          [ Reply | More ]
          03.17.10, 07:09 PM Flag
Refresh » New Post »