[-]Any women on here who actually LIKE The Big Lebowski? I'm not aware of a single woman who likes it, or a single man who has said he doesn't like it.
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I'm a single woman, and I loved the Big Lebowski. Maybe not as much as the typical 20 something male, but the Coen brothers have made a lot of fabulous movies. IMHO, it isn't their best though.
[ Reply | Options ]op: me neither. dh is watching it now... it's just as bad as I'd remembered! but he's enjoying it (and he generally has good taste in movies). i don't get it...
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[-]Does anyone else her have a problem with a certain singer LB who sings about spaghetti?
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]When my dd was born, my mother ran out and bought the CD and memorized the songs. I had to sit in the back of my parents minivan as they drove around singing that spaghetti song at the top of their lungs. My dd was 12w at the time and really didn't give a hoot, it really was one of the most annoying experiences I have had in the past few years.
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UB is the ONLY place I have ever heard of this singer. I think someone on here is obsessed with her.
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[-]Yes, I'm obsessing but humor me: if an SB tester tells you your DB worked "very hard" it isn't good - right?
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[-]Regardless of her spunk, ambition and dogged determination, how can a thinking, logical person think Sarah Palin is qualified to be president..? Baffling.
139 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]ITA. This woman considered a question about 'which magazines and newspapers she reads' to be manipulative.
[ Reply | Options ]What amazes me is that is an ok answer for some. "Ewww, the tricky Katie Couric asked me a surprise question I had no way of answering without preparing for it." In the middle of an interview to be the #2 political person in the country a heartbeat away from the red phone, "What is the cube root of twenty seven?" is a trick question. Not what do you read?
[ Reply | Options ]or: well exactly. And isn't that telling? That she needs to "prepare" a response about what she reads? Because perhaps she doesn't read anything of real substance? Which speaks to how much she KNOWS about the world around her? Surreal all of it, really. I'm not running for president but could come up "the right" answer in a heartbeat.
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IF you agree with her, you mgith think she is qualified. there is a really strong anti-elite current in US political thought, and she is seen as a great example of that
[ Reply | Options ]ITA. I wouldn't hire Sarah Palin to be a showroom assistant, hanging up clothing that customers try on (I don't think she's smart enough to put everything back where it actually belongs), but I know that there are people out there that think well-educated, articulate people are scary and shouldn't be making decisions that impact "real people". I am not the smartest person out there, I don't have the best education, but I want people who are a lot smarter than I am making the decisions that I know I'm not capable of sorting through.
[ Reply | Options ]op: I get anti elite - I really do. But I do not get anti, plain old qualified. Without an ounce of sarcasm, based on competence alone - I am more qualified. And I'm no Einstein.
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Her resume is quite similar to what Barrack Obama's was before he was elected, with the minor difference that Sarah Palin had some executive experience, and he did not. I personally detest Sarah Palin, but the level of Orwellian doublethink that surrounds the issue of her qualifications vis-a-vis those of our sitting president astounds me.
[ Reply | Options ]Has she ever read the US Constitution? He taught law school classes on Constitutional Law. I think there is a substantial difference in their resumes, he actually a respectable one. Her's is a bad joke.
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you can't possibly compare her education to Obama's. She went to 4 different colleges to end up with a degree in journalism and a goal to be a sports commentator on tv. She is a total lightweight.
[ Reply | Options ]She's done pretty well for being such a dumb lightweight. Of course, Obama has vastly superior academic credentials, but I don't understand why you think Palin's executive experience is irrelevant, even so.
[ Reply | Options ]The "executive experience" you claim she has is laughable. She was the mayor of a small town, with no real authority (all major departments/infrastructure were handled at the county or state level - she had no authority over police or fire dep'ts). She couldn't handle the responsibility of being Governor of Alaska, so she quit.
[ Reply | Options ]Still better than zero. Also, I'm not sure where you get the idea that she could not handle the responsibility of being Governor of Alaska. Looks to me like she (correctly, if somewhat cynically) saw that she had the opportunity to become a national figure, and like many politicians have and would, left her state position when it no longer suited her ambitions.
[ Reply | Options ]I think you are the one drinking some serious KoolAid. She's not a "national figure", she's a laughingstock, getting into a public shouting match with a teenager. If she wants to be taken seriously, she needs to start acting like it. Finishing the job that she was elected to do would have been a place to start, since she quit that job, she has to make up some ground - let her start publicly speaking on real policy issues to serious groups - Heritage, AIE. Until then, she's just a bad joke who couldn't handle the job she had.
[ Reply | Options ]NP. Hold on. You seem to think SP's experience counts even if she wasn't very good and showed no interest in trying to improve. If she's a lousy mayor/governor, then her experience counts against her, not for her.
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Mayor of a town smaller than most NYC suburbs and used it as her personal feifdom (zoning violations ignored so she could sell her house?). She was elected governor as a reaction to widespread corruption accusations against the incumbent and didn't last half her term. It took her 6+ years and at least 4 colleges to get a bachelor's degree from a 5th rate institution. Wow, she's impressive. If she really wants to build a resume, let her start speaking, on the record, to groups like the Council on Foreign Relations, even the Heritage Foundation would be a good place for her to start, and get out of the gutter war with her grandson's teenaged father. Right now, she looks like a publicity whore with no common sense, not a serious president...
[ Reply | Options ]A dean at a small college has more people they are responsible for than the mayor of Wasilla. And apparently the part time job of governor of Alaska was too much for her.
[ Reply | Options ]And this is (1) more or (2) less executive responsibility/experience than Obama had before the Presidency? As I said, doublethink.
[ Reply | Options ]Your post exists in a vacuum. There are many people I loathe as ppoliticians, but they are qualified, regardless of my opinion of their views. Stop parcing a poor analogy.
[ Reply | Options ]No one ever claimed that he had "executive experience" that you seem to think is all that is the only qualifying factor. His supporters understood that he was/is smart enough to understand his job and it's responsibilities. She, for all her "executive experience", is simply not smart or engaged or capable of understanding the ramifications of her decisions (hence, she quit the only serious job she's ever had because she didn't understand what she had signed on for and couldn't actually do the job).
[ Reply | Options ]But what Obama brought to the table was not Executive experience. I mean John McCain has none either. He never had a command position in the Navy. This is like arguing she should get it because she was the best baton twirler.
[ Reply | Options ]Right, suggesting that being a state governor is relevant preparation for the presidency is like suggesting a baton twirler is.
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Umm, what makes you think the job was too much for her? It seems pretty clear to me she dumped it to further her national aspirations. I'm no fan of hers, but that says "smart move" to me, not "dummy who couldn't handle being Governor."
[ Reply | Options ]You are almost unique in holding that position. Everyone I've heard, GOPer's included, think it was an idiotic and perplexing move.
[ Reply | Options ]If she had "national aspirations" beyond her 15 minutes of fame she wouldn't be whining about not liking the photo on the cover of Newsweek or getting in the mud with her grandson's idiot of a father.
[ Reply | Options ]Is she not the most visible and discussed Republican political figure right now? Don't get me wrong, as a moderate conservative the Sarah Palinization of the GOP makes me weep and gnash my teeth -- you have no idea what it is like lol -- but to characterize her as anything other than a shrewd and capable self-promoter strikes me as inconsistent with the facts.
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Mayor of Walissa (sp?) is basically a popularity contest. Governor was that spunk and determination.
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no, that would be common sense, since she's NOT QUALIFIED or impressive otherwise.
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np: Did you not read about the battle within Wasilla that got her the nomination over the long time mayor? They were both life long Republicans she sicked her church on him... it sounded like Senior Class President at Dysfunction High.
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I looked it up for you. Anchorage Daily News. "'Fresh face' launched Palin: Wasilla mayor was groomed from an early political age". Anchorage Daily News. http://www.adn.com/sarah-palin/background/story/510447.html
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I can't stand her but I don't think her resume is the problem, being a governor is good enough (worked for reagan)
[ Reply | Options ]Different states have different types of governments and make very different demands on their governors. California has a very active, demanding, executive office. Alaska (like Texas) does not. This was as true when Ann Richards was governor as it was when GWB was.
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Hey dopey, I gave California credit for having a demanding executive -- aka Reagan. GHWBush had no experience as governor. Texas for GWBush. See, I went back for all the R presidents over my life time. (And I'm not a liberal. If I was I wouldn't have bad mouthed Ann Richards. They love her -- although God knows why.)
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If Obama had ever read the Constitution he would know there is nothing in the Constitution that permits him to do most of what he has done (and wants to do) as President. Obama has more contempt for the constitution than any President in my lifetime.
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executive experience, in this case, is a red herring. McCain ddn't have any. and obama had more private sector experience thatn either mccain or palin. but if you want to make obama look unqualified, you drag this argument out.
[ Reply | Options ]You're really saying that executive experience is a red herring? Bizarre. BTW, I'm not attempting to make Obama look bad: I think Obama won the election because he was both a better candidate and a better campaigner than John McCain. The point is that, viewed objectively, Obama's and Palin's experience are sufficiently equivalent that it is irrational to view her as grossly unqualified while treating Obama as qualified. FWIW, I voted for Obama, but the endless and unfair Palin-bashing is most unreasonable.
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np: I see it like this - sometimes you interview someone inexperienced in the actual job and hire them anyway because their education/degrees, life experience, other job experience, other credentials and intelligence lead you to believe that they will be very good at that job. Then you meet other people, whose resume seems to suggest that they have relevant experience at the job and yet based on their education/degrees and your dealings with them, you truly wonder how they ever got the job. Oftentimes you find out that the job was not really what it appeared to be, or that there was nepotism involved or that there were company "politics" at play and somehow this person ended up in a place far beyond their abilities.
[ Reply | Options ]their experience was about the same level. his education is superior, but there are lots of qualified intelligent people who don't have access to that level of academia. palin is probably not one of them, but i am completely offended as a woman by the sexist jabs at her by her detractors. between how the dems treated hillary and palin, they have lost my respect.
[ Reply | Options ]Intelligent people, of either gender, don't consider "what newspapers do you read" to be a trick question or one that needs prep. My grandmother, who never graduated from high school, could have answered that question without stumbling over it (and had a real answer - the Miami Herald). Palin couldn't answer it and didn't (and still hasn't). I don't think that showing Palin as she really is, inarticulate and willfully ignorant, is unfair or sexist.
[ Reply | Options ]I think her point was the mainstream media was just looking to find something wrong with her. She was trying to guard her words. Honestly, you should get passed the fact that you don't like Republicans and look at it in a fair light. She knew she was walking into a lion's den and her handlers were keeping a muzzle on her. I think she deserves a pass. Both parties have candidates that say stupid things all the time. Biden for one, Gore with the internet, Bush, etc...
[ Reply | Options ]No, that was her explanation after the fact for why she flubbed the question. It's not that I don't like Republicans, I've voted for Republicans, I just don't like her. There were at least 3 other Republican women who should have been on that ticket before her - Kay Bailey Hutchinson, Olympia Snow and Susan Collins would all have been much better choices. If Palin couldn't handle a real softball from Katie Couric without being caught off guard, how would she be with Vladimir Putin?
[ Reply | Options ]But see this is what kills me, Gore never said he invented the internet. "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country's economic growth and environmental protection, improvements in our educational system." A. Gore But you repeat a lie enough and the dopes out in the hinterland who won't bother to read and figure things out for themselves will buy it hook line and sinker.
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What I don't get is that she keeps getting a pass on being so poorly qualified. Bobby Jindal is smarter than she is, and usually better prepared/more articulate but when he did so poorly on the Republican response to an Obama address to Congress he faded into the woodwork. She keeps inserting her foot into her mouth, gets called on it, responds "you're being sexist", and keeps going. Pointing out her absolute lack of education and non-existant intellectual curiosity isn't sexist.
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What makes a community activist qualified to be President? What about an actor or a peanut farmer?
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no. one of them has good PEOPLE skills and is a wonderful prolific speaker. the peanut farmer, I am still scratching my head about that one... I guess other than party affiliation they can both pride themselves in the fact that they are both nobel laureates?
[ Reply | Options ]Jimmy Carter was a nuclear engineer in the Navy. He was no hayseed. He also was a non-Washington person in the post Nixon era.
[ Reply | Options ]and he lasted only 4 years. people were disenchanted with nixon, fine. Sorry, I was half kidding with my comments. I am (obviously) no huge carter fan, but the truth is he is a very intelligent guy. not much street smarts though IMVHO which I think is a large part of why he was a 1 term president. my point was more that you dont have to be a senior senator with 30 years of experience in politics to be elected president.
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More qualified that Obama, easily. She actually ran a state while he was just 1 of 100 senators (and he rarely voted, instead voting "present" on hard issues). I don't want her to be president, for my own reasons, but she is definitely "qualified".
[ Reply | Options ]The basic issue is that the people decided in 2008 that they did not want "qualified". McCain was far and away the most qualified of the 4, with Biden clearly in second place. McCain realized his qualifications were a liability and chose her in an attempt to dilute his qualifications. But in the end, and unqualified President trumped an unqualified Vice President in the eyes of the people. Now, a year later we are just starting to see the result of that choice, and just starting to realize it might have been a mistake.
[ Reply | Options ]um yeah--his "qualifications" were a liability? How about that he had foolishly sold out his "maverick" positions to kowtow to GWB, turned his back on his own bipartisan immigration bill, and suddenly seemed--in contrast to 2000--older, weaker, less decisive? In an attempt to reassure the right he lurched and stumbled--couldn't decide how to handle the financial crisis, and then yes--picked the MILF from Alaska instead of Pawlenty or some other serious contender. Foolish, foolish, foolish. And seriously--I'd just love to hear what you think he'd have done differently to solve the financial crisis since he certainly couldn't articulate it thirteen months ago.
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I'm not sure how relevant "executive experience" is. It seems very important to American voters, but I wonder about it. I'm not American, but it appears that the most important aspect of being President is being able to get Congress to pass the bills you want, as painlessly as you can. Doesn't someone with experience in Congress have a higher chance of getting that right? I mean, even if you've run a city, or a state, the issues you'll be dealing with as a head of a country are entirely different.
[ Reply | Options ]The problem is that as a governor, for the most part, you don't have to take stands which piss off half the people. As a Senator, you have to vote on gun control/immigration/funding bills/stimulus packages/etc. so there is all this history behind you. (I'm not saying this is ACTUALLY bad, just that this is one of the reasons political scientists/talking heads often give for why so many more modern presidents have been governors than legislators.)
[ Reply | Options ]The U.S. President is in charge of the federal executive branch -- probably the largest organization in the country, not even counting active duty military as employees -- and most of the day-to-day is managing the demands of that. It is an overwhelmingly huge responsibility. I would imagine that much of the actual work is quite similar -- although more complex and stressful due to the higher stakes, larger scale, and lower degree of control over the organization -- to being the CEO of a big multinational corporation like GE or IBM. Obviously legislative affairs is a larger proportion of the President's work than it would be in a private organization, and Obama's health care priorities throw that into more focus, but managing the executiv...
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Because some people vote with their "guts" and not with their head. It's about who they would share a beer with and pall around with. Voting for the smarter more capable candidate is an admission that the voter is not all that bright and no one wants to feel bad about themselves right? Palin makes peoe feel tough and cool because she can shoot a moose. It's the whole cowboy mystique. Plus, having a degree or an office job does not necessarily make one intelligent.
[ Reply | Options ]I like Palin's values and I know other people who do as well. I don't think she is qualified so it would be hard to vote for her in 2012. It's interesting to me how one's intelligence is measured on how well they can deliver a speech and how cleverly they might come up with an answer, oh and being attractive doesn't hurt (ie. Clinton, Obama) One thing to keep in mind though is people are willing to look past this. The jokes about Bush being dumb were relentless and he was elected twice. My vote included.
[ Reply | Options ]oh, and Palin isn't attractive? Snort. All of those GOP nerdlings were acting like eighth grade boys. As to intelligence--does that really not matter to you? And no, not just "cleverly" answering a question, but intellectual depth, understanding, curiosity...that's not important to you? Just the "values" of someone who seems to be fundamentally dishonest, ruthless, disloyal...? And btw, you still feel good about voting for Bush--really?
[ Reply | Options ]I guess Palin is attractive, that hair just bothers me. Unfortunately voting for me has come down to choosing the lesser of 2 evils, which is what I did when Bush was running. In the last election I wasn't happy with either candidate so I didn't vote for either. Of course intelligence matters, my point was how is seems to be determined by the masses. As for dishonest, ruthless and disloyal I'm not sure what your referring too.
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[-]I did the post asking what you are most proud of, thinking of a big accomplishment that you worked hard to achieve. Now the opposite question: what single thing did you do as an adult/parent that you most regret or are most ashamed of? Some one thing you could go back and get a "redo" on if it were possible?
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[-]what should i pay our nanny to stay overnight when my husband and I are away? and what about to stay over and work for a weekend while we're away? we have two children (currently six months and almost three years).
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[-]Therapist mom here - had a long day, on a wave, ask me anything.
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this being an anonymous board: do you ever get interested/emotionally involved in your job? Like you think about a patient's problem on the way home?
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I think many people these days are so lonely, especially in NYC. So many people get married, have kids, have friends and despite all that are so alone. I think I am a friend for hire sometimes, someone that can listen, and doesn’t judge, gives advice, sheds light on a new perspective, a new outlook. If you can help change someone’s perspective you can have change happen in the physical world.
[ Reply | Options ]What is your take on the fact that meds can change perspective in a very tangible way?
[ Reply | Options ]I’m not a Psychiatrist, I’m a LCSW. I am aware of the fact that some people need meds to be able to literally survive. I refer patients to Psychiatrists if I feel that they need more help. In a perfect world talking, opening up, facing issues would get people to straighten up, deal and get better. But in this world it’s not the case, plus some psychotic people do need meds and these are beyond the scope of my practice.
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Do you have times where you question the value of therapy, and your chosen profession altogether? I know several MSW's who feel this way, my sister is one of them.
[ Reply | Options ]How should I deal with my alcoholic borderline personality father? Cut him out completely? Sad he won't have a relationship with dd but maybe it is for the best.
[ Reply | Options ]I personally don’t believe in a rigid definition of “family” – sometimes blood can’t overcome hard personalities, sometimes past experiences affect the way we look at parents, siblings, etc. I have many patients that complain, especially around the holiday season, that they have to go to dinners with their family, however they don’t feel close to those people – a lot of anger, hurt bottled in, yet they go to dinner, act, put on a happy face while questioning the whole “production”. Your father may not have been a good father, and he may never be but he can still be an excellent grandfather, loving and caring, drinking problem or not. However, if he is not interested, doesn’t show affection etc, the fact that he is blood ...
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How does one go about choosing a good psychologist? What resources would you recommend?
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Trailer trash mom here- how can I get a MILF with two kids to stop calling my boyfriend to ask if she can move in/spend the night?
[ Reply | Options ]Let me preface this by saying that I have definitely benefited from therapy at different times in my life. I do notice, however, that many people who choose to study/practice some sort of mental therapy are generally the people who seem most screwed up. Do you think the majority of people who choose some type of psycho therapy as a profession are trying to fix themselves?
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[-]DH taking myself and dd on Royal Caribbean cruise to Mediterranean in May, DD will be 25 months. Cruise to Rome, Florence, Barcelona, Cannes, Monaco. Anyone been on cruise and anyone leave their dc in the care of the cruise daycare facility? I've never been on cruise and travel agent talking up ability to leave child with providers but don't know if this is okay or not for a toddler. Any experience with this will be greatly appreciated. TIA
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[-]I'm really upset with the public MS application process in D3 this year. Every freaking school wants to be put as first choice. Delta has an "official" cutoff of 1385, but due to score inflation parents have no idea what score is going to be good enough (unlike other years). So if we go for Delta and don't FC semi-OK MS like Computer, and DC doesn't get into Delta, we'll end-up in some terrible MS
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]If the Delta cutoff is 1385 your dc will get to take the test. After that it's just a matter of how they do on the test and their school record. All the good schools have insisted on being first choice for years now.
[ Reply | Options ]I don't think any score is good enough for Delta if dc bombs the Delta test they are not going to get in. So if you want Delta get dc study for the test. Since they will have a lot more qualified dc applying this year than spots, their own test will be the dealbreaker. As is for many selective middle schools.
[ Reply | Options ]Computer is not "semi-ok" - my dc chose it over Delta as well as quite a few of his friends. If you prefer Delta - great, go for it! No need to disparage Computer School. Computer School has amazing teachers, a great principal, a tight-knit community and a nice facility. It is better than "semi-ok."
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[-]When do sibling applicants hear about kindergarten? Not sure that my ds will get in and very nervous.
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]If you applied through Early Notification then you hear sometime in December or January. If you're so nervous, what's the matter? Why can't you talk candidly with the AD. If you're nervous, maybe the school isn't the right fit for the next child. I have three dc in three different schools. Sure it's a lot of work, but I care that they have the right place for themselves. I get so annoyed with selfish parents who just want expedience and don't look at other schools for second, third and fourth kids. Did you even bother to apply to another school or two? Take the tour?
[ Reply | Options ]I hear that schools are trying to admit more only children from older parents so they won't have so many difficult sibling cases.
[ Reply | Options ]The dumbest kids in my ds class are siblings. Schools should take kids who merit the spots and not stupid siblings. Would help for development too.
[ Reply | Options ]Dinging sibs is surely *not* good for development! It just makes families angry.
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Our #3 was dinged, with 99erbs, 2nd round hunter scores, and with what our psd was such a good school report, she did not think it was worth applying elsewhere. So we didn't, and ended up having to scramble. Sometimes there is just not enough space, we were not big donors, just kind of unimportant people.
[ Reply | Options ]OMG I can't even imagine how upset you must have been, assuming this post is real (and I really want to believe it isn't).
[ Reply | Options ]Sadly, it is real, and while dc is very happy now at another school, I feel unwelcome at the school now, and I used to be very involved. I feel like they do not like us, and it is hurtful for younger one to now come along to school functions etc. Raises questions I do not want him to deal with at such a young age.
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There are so many sibs in my ds class that there is barely room for any new families in the school. Agree that sibs tend to be the weakest in the class and the parents get really clannish.
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[-]Off the "DIVORCE" post what is the worst divorce you have ever heard? Me: childhood sweethearts, DH takes off with make BFF, yes he was gay.
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]couple had to live bi-coastal for work reasons at the beginning of the marriage (ny/la) but they spent every weekend together. Went on for a few months. After a vacation in HI the wife gets a call from sister saying we can't keep this from you any longer but it seems dh is leading a double life with a totally different woman.... it was heart breaking
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dh is an alcoholic screw-up. dw loves him but can't stand living with him anymore and he won't get help. she tells him she wants a divorce, doesn't want anything from him (he comes from a wealthy family), feels terrible. things didn't work out, but she didn't blame him. a few weeks later, she finds he has moved in with a girlfriend she did not know about, a girlfriend he knocked up and has been keeping secret! he lets this woman watch their child during his visits! and this woman is TRASHY. when she answers the phone, won't let dw speak with her own son, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]DH told on his honeymoon that DW made the wrong decision and wants out. Get divorced, she gets the house. He remarries and 3 months later DW2 tells him she's a lesbian and her partner moves into the house, DH moves to the basement, eventually they too get divorced. Not making this up.
[ Reply | Options ]DF was pregnant w/ # 3. Dh suggested that they sell their home to buy a bigger one, dh sells house and than backs out of new home purchase. Moves family into a dumpy rental tells dw that he is sleeping with her bf and wants a divorce. Df miscarries #3. Dh cancels all credit cards AND turns off the electricity on his own dcs. Dh (who makes over 2 million a year) hides assets and leaves the country.
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[-]Who here truly feels that where DC goes to preschool/elementary/high school truly will affect his/her life that dramatically? Honestly I don't believe it matters as much as people think it does. I went to public schools, second-tier college, and ended up in fabulous job.
33 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]My major concern is that DC spends that time reasonably happy. School is a waste of time for many kids, and a miserable one at that. I am sure that he will do fine in the long run, but I don't want him to waste his time in a crappy school--I want all of these childhood years to be as nice as possible! I don't think there is anything wrong with public schools or second-tier colleges if they are a good match for a child.
[ Reply | Options ]I hear you, but where I went to high school demented as it sounds gets people's attention in away you should understand from reading this board alone plus it opens you up to a completely different level of networking (when you are older of course) my classmates are doing incredible things and the common tie between us allows us to call up the other for a career change, discussion or opp. Does that make sense?
[ Reply | Options ]op: yes, but most of my colleagues went to ivies, and there i am in the same place as they are. agree that networking makes a difference, but it's not the only difference.
[ Reply | Options ]But it is such a huge network that is dispersed, all going to Harvard for instance while wonderful I am sure is not the close and similar experience that being Spence '83 is for instance. Or Spence any year for that matter. I went to an ivy but I never use the alum directory for networking only my private it actually has a more impressive roster for my year!
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I don't know, I went to fancy-schmancy schools, and I don't think I have ever really used that network in my career. In fact, I'm always a little embarrassed to mention where I went to school. I still talk to my best friends from high school, but I don't think any of us feel we benefited much as far as networks. I do appreciate the great education, and I think it is natural that if you get a bunch of pampered, educated rich kids together they will go on to do some pretty incredible things relative to kids with less resources.
[ Reply | Options ]I think 'fancy-schmancy' is what gave away the fact that you didn't actually go to one but ok
[ Reply | Options ]LOL, nice try. I do think it gives away the fact that I don't take where I went for K-12 very seriously, and I definitely don't think it determined my life's path. I can't even think of a situation in which I have gone through an alum directory to "network"! I now teach at a fancy-schmancy University, and the students I most enjoy working with--and many of the brightest-- are usually from publics. Different strokes...
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To me, the education itself matters more than the job it leads to. It is possible to get a great education at second rate schools, but its easier to do so at first rate schools. My guess is that the first years of that education matter about as much as the other years. So, yes I do care.
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Wow; astute (if a bit cynical), but not quite on the mark. I'm DH who can't get or keep a job, but who manages to contribute in a variety of different ways... for which a well-rounded education is very useful (e.g. reading laws, navigating bureacracies, solving technical problems, coming across as a high-level person), as well as life-enhancing.
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I suspect that more moms without Ivy-level college are more private school obsessed than moms who have BTDT. That is always the sense I get, at least on this board. They ramble on and on about the import of education, yet their posts are full of spelling/logic/grammatical errors. I think moms who have it don't worry so much about it either way. They know there are many ways to get to HYP, or not, and have a great, rewarding life either way.
[ Reply | Options ]i ignore spell/gram issues -- i never proofread and i assume no one else does either. the ignorance and lack of curiosity is a bigger problem. suggests posters are rich folks living in a bubble.
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You are totally on the mark. I went Ivy and have a grad degree too. I know you can transfer into Ivy easily - although many here probably don't know this or believe this. Dd zoned for a good public so private is not a necessity. There are actually some very good schools that don't cost $35K a year and your child will still get a great education.
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It doesn't matter one bit for the majority of people. Then there are those rare few who rise above against insurmountable odds from the ghetto school and wind up at Harvard and those mediocre students born with a silver spoon in their mouth who know how to rub elbows and work connections.
[ Reply | Options ]I absolutely believe it's important at the university level--but as for elementary, junior high and high school--not important. The rest of the country could give two craps whether your kid went to a tt NYC school or not. Seriously, it's ONLY the NYC crowd who gets spun up over this and we want to believe it's globally important so we don't feel like schmucks for putting ourselves through this self-induced hysteria.
[ Reply | Options ]prestigious schools have nothing to do with accomplishing things in life. Life in general or in a Career. People talk about it so much on here and it seems like insecurity. Its probably the greatest thing they ever did that they can still hold on to. If a person has talent, focus and drive they can accomplish anything. I went to a million different no name schools in different states, never finished college and still have worked for 6 major NY companies making 6 figures by my mid twenties. Peoples obsession with who is who and who went where on this board is laughable.
[ Reply | Options ]I think it is important. I don't care about prestige, but I do care about the quality of education--probably because mine was mediocre until college (where it was above average) and grad school (were it was excellent). Did my not-so-great high school stand in my way careerwise--not at all. Do I feel inferior or lack confidence--absolutely not. But I am aware of a missed opportunity to be challenged in a meaningful way, to be exposed to subjects on a deeper level that might have made a difference in career choices I made.
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[-]help me out -- I had a discussion with someone (who doesn't have dcs) who said she can foresee a time when women would choose voluntary surrogacy (paying someone else to have their db) instead of carrying a db themselves. That it's another change to how technology becomes a part of our lives and how we try to control/preserve our bodies in different ways. I just don't think efficiency would ever outweigh wanting to be pregnant, if you can do it (for most people -- of course, there are exceptions). What do you think?
26 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I can foresee it, far not the road and for a handful of women, but once it starts the practice could grow. And I say this, even though the thought appalls me.
[ Reply | Options ]I do not think it would ever become routine. Yes, a very small group of women would choose this out of need or desire. But most women take pleasure in pregnancy on some level and it is a biological urge similar to sex.
[ Reply | Options ]that's what I feel, too -- there is a sense of pleasure, and almost a primal desire. But she suggested, couldn't the idea of what's pleasurable change? How do we know it's pleasurable before having gone through it?
[ Reply | Options ]I truly think it's similar to sex rather than plastic surgery - an innate desire, rather than a superficial/convenient act.
[ Reply | Options ]That's what I was telling her -- that it's hard to understand until you are on the threshold of being able to be pregnant. Why do we want it? Because of what others are telling you? Because of how we've been raised? Because it's primal/innate? I don't know, but it's powerful, and ITA with you -- I can't imagine efficiency/beauty/convenience is what would dominate.
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I've been pregnant twice and hated both pregnancies. There was no part of it that I enjoyed. I would definitely be one of those women who would pay someone to be my surrogate. Pregnancy is an amazing experience for some and torture to others. I don't think this would be mainstream, but could be a good alternative for some people.
[ Reply | Options ]But would you have done it BEFORE getting pregnant? In other words, you know now that you had a horrible experience (after having gone through it). How would you make the decision before knowing you personally had it bad?
[ Reply | Options ]Honestly, I would have gone the surro route even before I got pregnant. Always wanted kids but hated having no control over my body for 12 months (pregnancy + recovery). I would have to know that the surro method would ensure a healthy environment for my baby.
[ Reply | Options ]interesting! And you would feel like you could trust a surrogate to be a healthier environment than your own body?
[ Reply | Options ]i'm with you OR. two awful pregnancies. i suppose I would have tried it the first time, but definitely not the second (even though that one was slightly more bearable). if i could do this i may consider a third, but never want to be pregnant again. if the surrogate could be my husband than i'm first to sign up!
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I agree and feel the same way about woman who chose c-sections instead of regular birth when their is no medical need for one. Some woman said that they wanted it because they wanted their baby born on a certain day or b/c they didn't want to stretch out 'down there.' There is too much stock in vanity today despite the fact that woman have been having babies naturally since the world began. I don't like woman who seem proud of c-sections b/c of artificial reasons or concerns about themselves. Of course if there is a REAL medical reason than okay but 75% of the people I know that have ever had one had either vanity or a scheduling conflict that resulted in them wanting a c-section.
[ Reply | Options ]I disagree that elective c-sections are along the slippery slope to on-demand surrogacy. C-sections, even when elected for what you consider trivial reasons, do not involve using another woman, who often has much less money and many fewer options, to gestate your baby. I hated hated hated being pregnant, but would never choose the emotional complications surrogacy evolves. A scheduled c-section, on the other hand, was absolutely what was best for my baby and me. And stretching out 'down there' had nothing to do with my decision.
[ Reply | Options ]np: I'm glad to read that other women don't like being pregnant. I always hear such glowing stories of pregnancy. I not a fan, but I kind of felt alone in that opinion.
[ Reply | Options ]how old are you? All my friends and I were 35+ when pregnant; children dearly wanted. Very few -- even the yoga divas-- pretended that pregnancy wasn't ten months of nausea, swelling, and flatulence. I thought uncomfortable pregnancies might be a symptom of 'advanced maternal age', but my mother told me all her pregnancies, starting at age 24, were similar. So maybe my circle of friends are more honest/complaining than many . . . .
[ Reply | Options ]I'm 35 and pregnant. Was 30 with 1st pregnancy. I know women my same age and they seem to like it. Honestly I didn't have difficult pregnancies, but still don't seem to like or love it like some people I know. I like knowing I'm going to have a baby and I'm very thankful for my kids. But that glowing wonderful I love every moment of this look that some people have I just can't relate to.
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I had two C-sections for medical reasons. The first was after waiting 20 days past due date, being induced, 48 hours of labor then haveing a c-section and giving birth to a 10 lb baby. I'm 5;3" and 110 lbs. Damage was irreversible of carrying such a large child so late. My story is not that uncommon, and I wish could have opted for an elective C-section the week before due date because I knew it would go like that. I'm guessing you had relatively easy births so
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[-]anyone else have a serious problem with their dh's bald spot? how do you stand to look it the shiny head?
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]my dh is incredibly kind, smart, sexy and funny, a great father and a wonderful husband. the fact that he is thinning on top doesn't even register on me. sheesh, op, priorities.
[ Reply | Options ]ummm, i am sure that you have issues too. and he probably overlooks them, because you have to except imperfections in a mate... and aging is going to happen.
[ Reply | Options ]sounds to me like you have a problem with DH, not his bald spot. otherwise you would easily be able to look past it.
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[-]Anyone know how things are going with the new director at Barrow Street Nursery School?
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[-]school just instituted a no-gift policy to teachers. now we'll have to slip gifts on the sly or mail them home. i guess the mediocre teachers protested that they went home empty-handed.
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doesn't make it less true. why else would there be such a policy. seem unenforceable anyway. they can't tell families what to do with their resources.
[ Reply | Options ]do you really want an answer? because there is one, and it's logical: 1. most teachers don't like or want expensive gifts. they actually would prefer a nice drawing from your child. they also think parents who go overboard with expensive gifts are trying to buy them. 2. most schools don't like the appearance of impropriety or favoritism. 3. some parents, believe it or not, don't celebrate christmas and hanukkah. 4. some parents, also believe it or not, might not have the money to match your swanky gift.
[ Reply | Options ]The school can't tell families what to do with their resources but they can tell their employees not to accept gifts from the families. What will happen if they do is the question. If its public its almost impossible to get rid of the teachers. Privates could more easily fire them for taking gifts.
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This makes sense to me. There are so many potential problems with giving individual teacher gifts. I believe it's unethical for teachers to accept cash gifts. It's prohibited ethically in many professions for good reason. Even postal carriers aren't supposed to accept gifts over $20 value.
[ Reply | Options ]Our school has this rule; however, the PA collects money from all families and divides it up among all people at the school.
[ Reply | Options ]I think this is worse. Some of the teachers really do suck and if the parents of her students don't give she'll still get $/gifts from being subsidized by others.
[ Reply | Options ]This is really a strange post. I give gifts to my child's teachers to show how much I appreciate their hard work. I give gifts to every teacher. This is something I feel strongly about and choose to do. Not everyone feels the same way, and that is fine. I try not to go overboard, but to find something thoughtful - a book, a plant, tickets to an event, sometimes something else that I really think they would enjoy. Gifts are not forbidden at our school, and many people, but not all, do give them. I don't think anyone is trying to "bribe" their kids teacher. That is ridiculous. I really want to show my appreciation for the great job they are doing.
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So do you only give gifts to teachers you like? I've honestly never heard of that before. I give [small] gifts to all the teachers b/c they're all working really hard. It's not a reward; it's a token of appreciation. There is a policy at our school for a max of $20 per family to be distributed evenly throughout the faculty and staff. It makes total sense to me. Expensive gifts are OTT and inappropriate, and whether or not a parent is genuinely attempting to bribe or buy a teacher, a teacher can feel obligated to show preference to a student if they have accepted a large gift--I've seen it happen on both sides: the teacher, as well as a parent who thinks she deserves something from the teacher b/c of the gift she gave.
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18 month old DC slipped out of his second plaster splint in two days -- supposed to be protecting his fractured left foot -- xrays negative. Now he can weightbear with little pain. ER says to come back. The foot seems much better. Anyone with experience with a "fractured" toddler foot? TIA!
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[-]I'm expecting triples girls! What do you think of the names Anita Louise, Clarice Amalia (or Amelia), Helena Maria?. My last name start with D and dh last name start with L.
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I was wondering this because my first thought when I read this was that you were Hispanic. These sound very Hispanic, especially Helena. Cute names would be Anita, Clara, and Helen - all not popular but are pretty and all close variations of the names you already have. Good luck with your pregnancy.
[ Reply | Options ]I don't understand. There is something wrong with choosing a hispanic sounding name? Why did you feel the need to anglicize the names that the OR chose?
[ Reply | Options ]I am not I am just saying that to me if I heard the names, I would assume the parents were Hispanic. I didn't say there is anything wrong with being Hispanic or choosing Hispanic names. I like to know so I don't suggest other names that are maybe too American or too 'other culture' for them.
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I think all of the names are lovely. I am not a fan of Clarice, but that is just my personal taste and I think it goes well with Amalia and the others. Congratulations and best of luck for a long and healthy pregnancy!
[ Reply | Options ]Or Amalia Louise, Clara Anita, Helena Maria. Just to break up the phonetics a bit.
[ Reply | Options ]Enjoy these last moments when you have time and energy enough to ponder. Consider perhaps Anita, Bonita and Conchita.
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What's so mean? Triplets are going to take up a lot of time and energy. Why not be organized and have an A,B,C?
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