[-]DH is considering a job in Westlake Village, CA. We're from Boston (urban, pedestrian lifestyle) currently living in a mid-sized Midwest city (suburban... not my thing) and I'm wondering 1) what towns are close, and good for kids, ages 4, and 6; 2) schools, both public, and independent; and 3) how much $ should we ask for and live comfortably?
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[-]Does anyone remember an online clothing store that specialized in personalized, embroidered clothing... it was kind of funky, and they did hoodies with cool fonts and carried clothes for babies through adults? I want to say it was based in Brooklyn. I've googled myself into a hole and can't come up with anything... it might have been featured once on urbanbaby daily, but that would have been probably back in 2006 or 7. any ideas? tia!
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[-]I had an early M/C and found a Fibroid (grapefruit) on the OUTSIDE wall of the uterus. Consulted w a RE he wants to remove this but want a 2nd opinion - any ideas?? I need an RE or a high risk OBGYN that takes Blue Cross Blue Shield PPO - PLEASE HELP :(
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I had 17 fibriods (3 of which were baseballs) removed by Dr. Rogerio Lobo at columbia presbyterian. I saw 3 other OBs prior to him and he was the BEST. I went on to have 2 babies, both delivered vaginally. He did a bikini incision on did not put me on that horrible drug other surgeons wanted me to go on prior to surgery (the one that stops your period). No idea which insurance he takes. I would stay away from Martin Keltz at SLR, he was just so horrible.
[ Reply | Options ]I don't have experience with fibroids, but Dr. Georges Sylvestre at Cornell is a high risk OB. I love him, and he take BCBS PPO (thats what we have)
[ Reply | Options ]No advice, but does that mean there is something on your uterus the size of an actual grapefruit? How would one not feel/see something that size? I swear I'm not being mean, I'm just puzzled. I'm sorry you have to go through that, btw.
[ Reply | Options ]It's a tough decision to make. Surgery can leave scars on your uterus, which may make it harder to get pregnant. On the other hand, being pregnant with a big fibroid can be terribly painful and very difficult. When the fibroid is on the outside it usually does not impact your ability to get pregnant, but it increases the risk of miscarriage and/or prematurity, so yes you'll need a high risk OB.
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[-]Just heard on the news that Patrick Swayze has died. Bummer. He seemed to give it such a good fight.
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[-]I am a SAHM, DH makes in excess of $500k each year. We have 2 DC under the age of 4; own apartment; and we struggle to make ends meet, yet do not live beyond out means. We have cut international travel out, eat out/order less; i do not buy clothes the way i used to; DCs wear what granny gives as gifts, and then hand me downs. I spend a lot on food (in nyc) and taxis. I will occasionally get a mani/pedi or eyebrows (once a month). I feel like we watch our spending b/c in this town--you can easily blow through $250 a day without accounting for it. So flame away.... tell me how much of a slob i am and how I still spend way too much. Personally I woulds like a challenge to bring my spending down. DH and I are terrible about keeping track. Yes, ...
47 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]get a notebook and write down everything you are spending money on for a week. then figure out what you are doing wrong. we live in nyc on 1/5 of your salary.
[ Reply | Options ]get a financial planner to make a budget for your household and stick to it. it sounds like you're nickel-and-diming yourself to death
[ Reply | Options ]you are absolutely overspending if you can just blow through $250 in a day. start tracking what you spend- every penny- you will be amazed how terrible you are.
[ Reply | Options ]you need to keep a detailed list of where the money goes. i have 2yo and 4yo. live in a 2bdrm rental (not controlled) in Chelsea, DH and i make about $140k TOGETHER. we go abroad once a year and take a few smaller domestic trips. have a full time nanny, go out on occasion. buy things for ourselves and our kids and are paying off stupid debt from when we were in our 20s we still have a bit of money (not much, but something) left over at the end of the month
[ Reply | Options ]Take taxis less -- little ones love buses and subways. That's a big drain. Where do you shop for food? "I do not buy clothes the way I used to" could still be a lot of spending on clothes. Nanny/housekeeper salaries?
[ Reply | Options ]can I just say, everything you've cut out are luxuries. I live in nyc, in manhattan, with 1/4th of what you have, and we don't struggle. you need to reevaluate what your needs are. we live comfortably, happily with less, and spend money on what's really important to us.
[ Reply | Options ]agree! DH and i make about $175K total, live in Chelsea with 2 kids. the only reason we "struggle" is cause we were crazy in our 20's and are paying off the debt. and by Struggle I mean we only go abroad (1-2 times a year) when we can stay with family instead of hotels. our live is pretty good!
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i hope you start by giving at least 10% to charity, then maybe you can forgive yourself. please refer to warren buffet for further tips.
[ Reply | Options ]I think your lack of fiscal responsibility is insulting to so many who have so little. There are so many in this world who cannot afford the basics of life to maintain dignity. The least you can do is steward your funds well. I'm not saying give it all away - but at least respect the luxuries you have in life.
[ Reply | Options ]I was the same way when I lived there. You know what helped us? We read a few financial books and then started paying for everything in cash. Made all the difference in the world. Sounds simplistic but it worked wonders.
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our doctor recommended against the vaccine. We seem to think that she had it anyway bc she had a really high fever in the spring for a few days and there were many other dc with that problem and now he thinks it was the swine flu.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm really on the fence. We usually don't get flu vaccines and we've never had the flu. I spoke to the Ped. yesterday about it. It should come out in Oct. Right now the CDC is recommending everyone from 0-24 years, but she said the recommendations are changing every day. A friend in Maine said that they are vaccinating all the school-aged children AT school!
[ Reply | Options ]I would have a heart attack if someone gave my kid a shot at school or even asked for permission for that matter. We had bible class at school (public) and kids had the option of opting out, those kids were treated like devil worshipers or something I would imagine kids who opt out of the shot would be teased by other kids.
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No. We don't get flu shots, either. My 8 yo has never missed a day of school, fwiw. Never gets sick.
[ Reply | Options ]yes. just like my dc gets the regular flu shot every year. he also has asthma and im hoping we avoid the flu until it comes out.
[ Reply | Options ]My dc has asthma, too. That's the reason why I don't want to challenge his immune system any further with all the chemicals. I'm curious what you based your decision on? Do you know this study: "Effectiveness of influenza vaccine for the prevention of asthma exacerbations." 800 children with asthma were tested and the study failed to provide evidence that the flu shot works in children with asthma.
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I am a doctor and my kid will be absolutely get the vaccine. The facts are: regular seasonal flu affects people at a mean age of 24 and swine flu has a mean age of 9. 1/3 of the global population will get the flu and 40/1000 will get sick enough to require hospitalization. 1/1000 will die. The difference is that these 1/1000 won't be elderly people like a typical flu season but rather people with robust immune systems (mostly young adults and kids.) The risk of having a complication from the vaccine is less than the risk of having a complication from the virus. That is why we will take the shot.
[ Reply | Options ]You cannot say "40/1000 WILL get sick" or "1/1000 WILL die". There is a possibility for that, yes. But stating this as a FACT is fear mongering and lacks scientific evidence. The yearly official "flu deaths" of 36'000 that are established every year by the CDC is grossly exaggerated. If you take a look at the statistics, less than 1000 people each year die of the flu, the other 35'000 die of pneumonia. Yes, it's a complication of the flu, but many elderly get pneumonia in the hospitals, where there are tons of germs around. The swine flu also turned out a lot milder than predicted. How do you explain the fact that during the 1976 swine flu "epidemic" 1 person died of the virus and 19 of the vaccine?
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My grandparents never got flu shots, except my grandmother ONE TIME. My parents never got flu shots, except my dad ONE TIME. My siblings and I never got flu shots. My KIDS never got flu shots. And in our entire extended family literally since 1960, there have been only TWO cases of the flu -- you guessed it -- Grandma got it a week after her flu shot, and Dad got it a week after his. Flu shots are total BS!
[ Reply | Options ]No, doesn't get flue vaccine either. never has and has been fine. i am pg and i will not get getting it either.
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[-]What should the HHI be if we want to spend 3500 on renting a house in LA? We have no kids, no debt, no school loans, just car insurance...
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NP - responder didn't need to be so nasty, but OP should not have written "no kids" instead of "TTC". OP did give the impression that it's just the two of them and likely would remain that way, since s/he did not include any planned conception/pregnancy/child care expenses in the budget.
[ Reply | Options ]After I m/c'd, I was way too scared to plan for being pregnant or child care. And even though I saw an RE, I didn't need to budget for conception issues becuase my insurance covered it. Why are we dissecting the words of a post when other stupid off-topic posts are on this board the entire time? One of the longest running threads I have seen is "What's your favorite book," do you want people to respond based on the number of children they have or plan to have??
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What is with the unofficial board police? Plenty of posters on here without kids and plenty of topics on here which have nothing to do with kids. Put them on ignore, OP. I love LA and wish I could convince my husband to move there as we would get more work. I've heard really good things about West Hollywood. Safe and not too expensive. I have talked my husband into possible going for a few months and we would be renting, but probably in an apartment.
[ Reply | Options ]OP: thanks for the supportive posts. We are actively TTC at CWRC in NYC, but things are not going well. DH has a new job and we are relocating to LA. I will begin TTC again after a couple month. I wanted to focus on the move. We are only renting a year, and I figured I would not have given birth by then... HHI should be at 220. We are looking at 3 bedrooms (DH wants Home office - plus I want a guest room) with a pool ( i love swimming as exercise and stress relief. The area we are looking it has this for about 3000 - 4000 a month in rent. I am just checking to see if I am looking in the right price range.
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Friend of mine's trying to get DC in at St. Ann's and Poly in Brooklyn. Is it as hard to get in there as in Manhattan? She doesn't know anything except to call today for an application and she knows a couple of people with kids there. Do you need connections? What's the deal, there?
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[-]For those who have BTDT, what are the pluses and minuses of having children close in age (i.e. under 2 years apart)? Same question for having children who are, say, at least 3 years apart?
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I think it depends more on the sex of the children. A friend of mine had her 2 dd's 4 years apart and all they did was fight all the time, another one had kids two years apart and they play okay but don't really get along (boy/girl) my brother and I are less than 2 years apart and we don't get along either.
[ Reply | Options ]Having your kids further apart - it's easier to handle both of them at the same time since the older one is less dependent on you when the new one is born. They can at least somewhat comprehend that they have to be gentle with the baby, why you can't attend to them right away if you're doing something for the baby, etc. If you're a SAHM, it also means you get to spend more time one-on-one with the younger one since the older one is probably in school already or soon after the second's birth. I was also pleasantly surprised at how much they play together, even though there's over 3 years age gap. Negatives - just when things are starting to get easier with # 1, you're back in the really intensive baby / toddler stage, and it does draw ou...
[ Reply | Options ]My kids are 14 months apart. The first year and a half was hard, but now, it is awesome. (currently ages 4 and 5) They play together, like many of the same things, and we enjoy it. Not for everyone though.
[ Reply | Options ]here are the pros that i've experienced by having dcs close in age. it's easier in a lot of ways: you already have diapers and other paraphernalia around and it's just a question of which kid gets which size, you can do things with them together, there's less jealousy b/c they basically don't remember a time when their sibling wasn't around. it's easier on you in some ways b/c there's an overlap on the age that htey take your full attention, instead of giving your full attention to one dc for 2 years and then starting again with another dc a few years later. the cons, in my experience, are that it's a lot of work in the first few years. but again, you are compressing all that work into a combined time.
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[-]what is the difference between a blogger and a power blogger?
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[-]" Never tell a guy you have a crush on him " True or False?
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[-]after 10 years of marriage i am finally admitting that i have never been attracted to my husband sexually. i married him for emotional security as he is a wonderful man. that being said, the thought that he is the only man i will ever be with again makes me feel very trapped and sad. especially since i never really did much exploring. anyone have any experience?
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Wow this is me too. Generally happy but do miss that feeling of being very attracted.
[ Reply | Options ]What's with all the have an affair answers? Get a divorce before you go around sleeping with other men while your still married. Geez people, think before you speak. Telling someone to have an affair b/c she said she's not in love makes no sense. Get a divorce first, then you can go do whatever it is you want. I hope if you do divorce him that he finds somebody who won't marry him again b/c of emotional security but b/c she loves him. Sad that woman still use men like this.
[ Reply | Options ]I am in similar situation. I was attracted to my dh at the beginning of relationship...was having serious doubts by the time the wedding rolled around b/c I wasn't attracted to him, he was being condescending to me, etc. My therapist (who i paid a whopping $300/45 minutes...) convinced me that I needed to stay in marriage, he offered emotional stability, that it would be harder to find a mate as I got older (was 31 at the time), etc. Now, I am in deep sh**. We have dc, relationship isn't great at all, we have both worked really hard at it but we are just incompatible and want different things in life, i think. I went back to her re: marriage problems and she told me that we did make a big mistake getting married. My fault for listening ...
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Yes, I have issues I know...really low self-esteem, don't trust my own judgement, etc. However, after I went back to her when we were having a hard time, I only went back a couple of times and decided that I needed someone else. She did help me overcome a 14 year eating disorder so I had given her credit for that...
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nobody has a perfect life. If you're with a wonderful guy, you're way ahead of the game.
[ Reply | Options ]Not necessarily, if she has a high sex drive. I've been in this situation for decades and now wish I'd gotten out. No sex for years does not strengthen a relationship unless both parties feel happy with celibacy. I think many religions include sexual deprivation as legitimate grounds for divorce, and that's saying something.
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For the past few years, I haven't been attracted to dh and having sex was terrible for me. Just recently, I had to stop having sex with him b/c I was beginning to feel violated...I felt that I was allowing someone to intrude on my body where it wasn't wanted. I don't know what to do. How have you managed having sex while not being attracted? Not trying to judge, just curious. My dh is a good guy so I would prefer to be attracted to him and stay married but not sure how I can become attracted again (we do have a lot of baggage which may be what is interfering but I do fear that it is just chemistry). Take care and don't be so hard on yourself...I think that we accept things when we are prepared to deal with them.
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Anyone have experience with the Gesell Developmental Observation? We are looking at kindergartens now for a 2010 start date and have been told that our DS will be given the test to asses his readiness for Kinder. I just wonder if it's a real test, an observation or some sort of hybrid.
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I am moving to LA next month and am looking for a good daycare for my 12 month old daughter. We will be living in Rancho Park. Any recommendations? I have no idea where to start, as I now live in NYC and have a nanny (who is amazing). But I am thinking of using daycare as my nanny search has not be so successful. Thank you.
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[-]need an umbrella stroller recommendation. i know everyone has the maclaren volo but have heard that it breaks easily. any thoughts on the volo? or uppa baby g-lite? or chicco? i just need something really light and easy to maneuver.
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