[-]just started zoloft for ppd. can anyone tell me about weight gain/loss and any other side effects? not completely sure I want to be on any medication to be honest.
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]yes, thank you. do you feel a lot better? all that is a big part of it for me, esp. the sleep deprivation. I do have help during the day thank goodness. I just feel not like myself--very angry and often hopeless about things getting easier. I just want to take it for a little while so that I can get a handle on things, but feel ambivalent because of the side effects. as I am still losing pg weight, I really don't want any weight issues or to feel weird. thanks again.
[ Reply | Options ]There is so much needless pressure for a mom to bond with a little child. Did you know the term "bonding" wasn't coined until the 1970s? Having a new baby is a radical life style change, and it's really hard work that comes with a lot of fear that things will never get better. Ds is 3 now and I can honestly say it gets so much better and so much easier. Sleep deprivation has been used by armies for torture for hundreds of years. You'll feel better when baby is sleeping through the night. And when you get lose the baby weight. And when you can socialize again w/o worrying the baby will catch a cold and have to go to the hospital. I think everyone has those times when they think "OMG, what did I do? My life was great before this". Give yours...
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[-]For SAHM: It is not my intention to start a flame war...really. I don't have any SAHM friends that I feel would answer me without being offended by my asking: As a SAHM do you ever worry what would happen to your lifestyle if you and your DH divorced? Also, what do you plan on doing once your DCs are in school full-time?
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]SAHM here. I have no idea what would happen if dh and I divorced although I know he would support the kids. I would have to return to work to support myself. Once dcs are full time in school I think I will return to work but I do love not working! My dh is very supportive of me SAH.
[ Reply | Options ]I am a SAHM. I don't really foresee a divorce in my future but I would do whatever I had to do. That's what being a mom is all about. Chances are I would get enough child support from him to at least only have to work part-time. Plus, he adores her so I know he would continue to do everything he could to take care of her. Once she is in school I will already be close to having #2 so when they are both at school I will just be home, probably have a p/t on-line business so I can be here when they get home.
[ Reply | Options ]If dh and I were to divorce I would be going back to work, not much would change as for my lifestyle because I do not over spend right now. When DC starts school full-time I will be back at work (family buisness). I am lucky enough to have a career waiting for me that will be flexible to my family.
[ Reply | Options ]No divorce in sight here, but as someone who lost her dad when he was 48 and saw what happened to my own young mom who stayed at home - I have a solid education that I could easily fall back on and always worked very hard- I would definitely downsize my life - and moved to a less pricey nabe (say brooklyn instead of prime UWS) - for extra security- life happens. You need be prepared no matter what.
[ Reply | Options ]i don't worry about divorce, and once my youngest is in school (K) i am going back to school to get my master's degree and then work. i could go back to my field (i currently freelance) but i've always wanted to do something else...it'll depend on how much i can make in my existing field at that time.
[ Reply | Options ]If DH and I divorced, I couldn't care less about my lifestyle, but I would worry more about how it would effect my kids emotionally. I am also spending the last few years of my time at home (before #4 goes to school) looking into new careers- took a journalism class at night, pursued web design, etc. This time, I would like to find a career I really like.
[ Reply | Options ]If we divorced I would move to a smaller place but should have enough cushion from half of our assets to have some time to get back into the workforce. I did not quit my job until my oldest one was in school actually, not sure what I'll do once they all are. Ideally some part-time job.
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[-]Guys - anyone know a good bakery - with CUPCAKES - in Venice, CA?? TIA.
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I don't know one there, but if you can schlep on up to Wilshire down from the 3rd street promenade, there is a place one or two blocks east that has great small cupcakes (Actually, it might be on Santa Monica, I know it is on the same street as 3 little piggies) they are really awesome cupcakes. Good luck
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the government forcibly takes over 50% of my income in taxes mostly redistributing to others...........thats my charity and its quite generous
[ Reply | Options ]statistically, most of that goes to the national defense and things other than "charity".
[ Reply | Options ]middle class entitlements primarily: social security and medicare, not to mention interest on debt
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we don't even know how much they spent on that, and she begrudges people some (extremely small) security.
[ Reply | Options ]Medicare/Medicaid 33% Social Security 21% Defense 20% Interest 8% Everything Else 18%
[ Reply | Options ]For God's sakes, SS and Medicare are paying for the Baby Boomers, not the middle/lower class. What is wrong with you people and the misinformation you try to spread?
[ Reply | Options ]don't even understand what you are talking about. SS and Medicare are non-means tested programs that benefit retirees without regard to their economic status
[ Reply | Options ]OR is complaining that our tax dollars go towards "MC entitlements," right? Currently, we have a huge outlay for these benefits to pay for the baby boomers, without regard to their income level. So OR is really uneducated, just regurgitating Fox News.
[ Reply | Options ]you are completely incoherent. First of all, the baby boomers have BARELY begun to retire. The outlays are going to grow enormously over the next decade, but at the moment baby boomers are an insignificant fraction of the recipients and in fact are still paying in more than they are receiving.
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These are middle class entitlement? Seriously, where do you get your information?
[ Reply | Options ]That is exactly what they are. The bulk of the money for those programs do not go to help poor people but rather to help middle class retirees, because A. there are more of them and B. because the programs are not means-tested to only benefit the poor. My millionaire dad gets a social security check every month, paid for by a working mother somewhere in Arizona
[ Reply | Options ]I don't understand, how can you say in one sentence they're MC entitlements and in another that your millionaire father gets them?
[ Reply | Options ]they benefit everyone, without regard to income level, and most people, by definition are middle class, so they are middle class entitlements. As opposed to what people normally think of as entitlement programs which are specifically targeted to the needy. Social Security claims to be an anti-poverty program, but it is only that for a relative small percentage of its recipients who depend on it exclusively. Most recipients have other assets and other income as well.
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he gives far more to charity than he receives from social security, rest assured, but the question is, "Why are these two programs, SS and Medicare, which promise to bankrupt the entire society over the next 50 years, being paid to people who do not need them?" Answer that and you will have learned something about democracy and the seeds of its downfall as foreseen by De Tocqueville, to whit, (paraphrasing) "Democracy will fail in America when the citizens realize they can vote to give themselves money."
[ Reply | Options ]What are you talking about? This post is about charity giving. If you want to discuss politics, start a new thread. We're talking about the posters who apparently feel they don't want or need to give to charity. You're not making much sense at all.
[ Reply | Options ]OR said she doesn't have enough left to give to charity after confiscatory tax regime, and someone said, well that only goes to defense. I pointed out that actually it goes for "Charity" but mostly to people who don't need it, i.e. the middle class, at which point 16 people jumped up my ass like they had no idea that SS and Medicare were not means-tested anti-poverty programs.
[ Reply | Options ]NP Yeah you still make no sense whatsoever. How is it "charity" if people don't need it? Of course SS and Medicare are not income-based. Who said differently? And to add, OR can afford private school, so I am not crying tears for her and her oppressive tax regime. Good lord, people.
[ Reply | Options ]yeah, I don't think you can call taxes charity, but I do think a lot of liberals feel that they have the right to force people to pay taxes to support those less fortunate with government programs, in which case those being forced to do so could be forgiven for conflating the two. For me taxes are a necessary evil, and charity -done well at least - is a necessary blessing.
[ Reply | Options ]Well said. FWIW I'm a liberal and I don't think taxes means forcing people to help the less fortunate. I just think I should pay more than someone making less because it's a smaller sacrifice to me. Whether the taxes go to defense or Medicare, I don't care, but if I pay more so someone could pay less, I'm okay with that (I make $350k in NYC and darnit it if I'm not UMC).
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If you're not into charity, then that's your business. But don't be so proud of this, you just give the fiscally conservative a bad name. Signed, Republican Mom.
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You should read this: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/17/magazine/17charity.t.html
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If you mean does it operate efficiently, etc., honestly, I don't know. But, I like to use it to give "gifts" to people b/c they can go online and decide how it will be utilized. That portion isn't charity since the intention is that the loan will be repaid, but you can also just donate outright.
[ Reply | Options ]Wait, how do you just donate outright? I think I am missing a step. I really don't mind if the loan isn't paid back--I'd rather the person keep the money--but am I missing a specific step on the page to make it a donation?
[ Reply | Options ]I stated it poorly. You can make a donation to Kiva itself - it is put toward the costs of administration, overhead, etc. You can't just make a donation to Maria in Bolivia rather than a microloan. Though you may not care about the $, you do want them to repay the loan, b/c it mean that person has been successful.
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I am curious as to how it works. Is it really a microloan or a donation? How do people pay you back?
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During the current decade homelessness in New York City has reached the highest levels since the Great Depression of the 1930s. In November 2008 more than 36,600 homeless men, women, and children were sleeping each night in New York City municipal shelters, including 15,800 children, 14,100 adult family members, and 6,700 single adults. Thousands more sleep rough on city streets, in public parks, in the subway system, and in other public spaces.
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I really like The DOE Fund (ready, willing and able). Also like KIVA which is a microlending organization. My 4 year old DD gets online with me and uses her "charity allowance" to lend to people in need.
[ Reply | Options ]Friends of the World Food Program (www.friendsofwfp.org)
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From now until November 4th, HLIC New York (http://www.hlicnyc.org) is hosting a "Dine In" event (http://bit.ly/JBZaI) to raise money for sponsorship of 7,000 Boxes of Love (http://bit.ly/gBu8Q). Each Box of Love feeds a family of six and includes a ham or chicken along with vegetables, potatoes, juice, yams, apple or cranberry sauce, bread, fruit, dessert, and more...plus Scriptures and children's literature. Each Box of Love will provide a family in need with a Thanksgiving feast. Warm Wishes & Thanks ahead of time!
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[-]LA moms what is a good local website you go for information about childcare, schools, nannies, etc.?
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[-]anyone use mirena or other iud and want to share about experience? I am debating and want to hear real life experience. there's too much info on the web to sort through on this. many thanks.
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[-]Chicago Moms - we will be in Chicago in a couple weeks. The Navy Pier certainly looks like fun for families, but is it like our Pier (santa monica): filled with lowlifes and slimy people who keep you checking for your wallet? just curious, we'll probably go anyway as we're travling with three kids, but just want a heads up.
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[-]Did anyone see the article in the NYT about this HS in LA where Joe Montana's son is the QB, Wayne Gretzky's son is the back-up QB, and Will Smith's son is the wide receiver? Oaks Christian School. Just thought it was interesting.
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]and this is why I stopped buying the NYT. If I wanted that garbage I would go to perezhilton.com
[ Reply | Options ]Don't know anything about the school, but from what I've heard from people who worked with Will and seen his son play, he's very good. Not sure if any of these guys will go pro or even have great athletic stats in college, but you never know.
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Great. But the one thing I love about sports is that it's the great equalizer (steroid's notwithstanding). You can come from a great family name, but if you can't deliver the goods on the field when competing with a fish and poi-fed Samoan kid ready to break you in half, that lineage will only go so far.
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They came to Seattle to play some team up here, some high school play-off thing or something like that - and tickets were being scalped for serious money! Normally you can't GIVE those tickets away! It was all over the news and everything, because Will Smith was in the stands, blah, blah, blah...
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THEMOMSTUDY.COM Hi Moms, I am the mom of a special needs kid and trying to finish my PhD in clinical psychology. As part of my doctoral thesis I am conducting an on-line survey about being a mom. If you are a mom of a child with a learning disability between the ages of 5 and 11 log on to THEMOMSTUDY.COM--it's easy, totally confidential, takes only 20 minutes (although it allows for an hour) and you can enter to win $500 by taking it. All to help one mom who ultimately wants to help lots of moms! THANKS for taking the time to do this--your input is essential. If you could forward to any moms that qualify I would really appreciate it.
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[-]posted earlier about this. I am thinking of taking zoloft for ppd. very scared of weight gain. also like to drink 2-3 glasses wine/week (some weeks). is any wine out of the question? can anyone share real experience on zoloft? thanks.
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]All antidepressants should ABSOLUTELY not be taken with alcohol, it can make the depression far more severe. I would check with your doctor as to if any type of wine is safe (if any?) but they will probably tell you not to drink at all. I took it and didn't have any weight gain issues. However, as long as you know it could happen, you have to be more careful.
[ Reply | Options ]give me a break about the wine thing. 2/3 classes a week is 100% fine if you are on an average adult dose. as far as weight gain, it will probably be minimal if anything. and if you are depressed, a couple of extra pounds is worth getting your life back. the stuff has saved my entire life.
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[-]How long does it really take to recover from a tummy tuck, and was it worth it? Also, can they do anything about the "bra handles" -- you know, the blob of fat right below your bra that doesn't respond to excercise?
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it's a tough recovery - 1st week many woman can not stand up straight - 4-6 weeks total recovery with best results in 3-6 months post-op. This might be old info if things have changed in the last 6 years - I did a plastics rotation and this is what I remember. "arm Fat can be done anytime w little or no downtime.
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[-]I'm 4wks pregnant- I have to fly from JFK to LAX in about 2 weeks. Should I go get a flu shot this week? I had my spleen removed in 2008. I am scared the flu shot will make me sick. Also I am scared the plane might make me sick? I can't decide what to do and it keeps circling in my head!
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I'm pretty sure that even if you get the flu shot now, it won't be effective in 2 weeks. I read somewhere that people getting their flu shots right now won't be covered until Thanksgiving.
[ Reply | Options ]OP: really? that is an interesting fact, I wonder if its correct - because if it is.. my decision is rather clear..
[ Reply | Options ]OR: sorry, my information is incorrect. that was for the swine flu, and applies only to children because they need 2 doses, spaced 4 weeks apart. But it did say the regular flu vaccine takes 10-14 days to take effect. Swine flu vaccine is quicker for adults. http://www.nytimes.com/learning/students/pop/articles/10primer.html
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1) i believe that you have to be in your second trimester to get a flu shot, so get it when then 2) there are other ways to help build your immunity 3) drink probiotics - kefir yogurt or the dannon danactiv drinks 3)vitamin d 3 studies have shown that it helps repair immunity http://www.womenshealthcaretopics.com/vitamin_d_during_pregnancy.htm - make sure though to take the vitamin d3
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No. TTs are not happening but other schools are open if dd can do well on playdates, get good prek report and no pita parents. Apply broadly, including those that don't ask for ERB scores. Also, have her take SB and see if it's much higher and if so, submit.
[ Reply | Options ]friend's dd got into a solid, coveted 3rd tier w an 87 and a young summer birthday.
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I think that schools like Cathedral, Town, CGPS, Allen Stevenson, Marymount which UB often considers 3rd tier are still very much in demand for families. There are other schools like Browning or Hewitt or BWL that are not so much.
[ Reply | Options ]ITA, as an example, BWL closed down applications after getting requests for 600. Last year, of the ~40 spots in K, over half went to siblings. That leaves 10 spots if you have a girl with a ridiculous number of applications.
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This process is like match day for MDs. There is little difference between BWL, Trevor, CGPS, Ethical etc. They all send their share to top colleges (where your legacy status helps more than which one of these your kid went to) and its all about how you feel about the school (for instance Ethical felt like a communist convention) and location. Walking to school vs. your kid spending 2 hrs a day on a bus. These are some of the things you should be thinking about.
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Do you think she got an 87 for any particular reason you or PSD might be able to explain? (Bad day, no sleep, etc.) Was there a big spread between verbal and performance?
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np I hope she's bilingual. If she is, you shouldn't have a problem (tts still in reach). If not, you should talk to your psd asap as you'll have a tough road ahead of you.
[ Reply | Options ]nope not bilingual but really I was surprised she's really quite verbal .....sigh
[ Reply | Options ]Talking a lot and getting the answers right are two different things. If I were you, I'd talk to psd. I wouldn't bother applying to tts (waste of time and money) and I'd focus on less competitive schools like Hewitt and BWL.
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DC had a similar spread last year. 2 accepts (both decent third tier) but waitlists at 2nd tiers and tt. feedback was really strongly positive from two of the 2nd tiers, but waitlist just didn't move before we had to commit. fwiw, performance was a 99 and overall was in the 90s but verbal was in the 70s. so i would apply because you never know but keep your expectations low and focus in on really looking at the 2nd and 3rd tier schools.
[ Reply | Options ]and its not the end of the world. and fwiw, DC got a 97 on the OlSAT and qualified for good district G&T.
[ Reply | Options ]http://place.1gb.bg/easy-cro9e/ crochet pattern
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My daughter scored a 97 on her ERB's and happily attends Birch. Stop criticizing this school. While some TT schools do not give homework until First or Second grade my daughter gets simple homework once a week to teach her responsibilty.
[ Reply | Options ]She might be happy, but are you? Why did you choose Birch? With a 97 you should have had other choices, what gives?
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wow are you a snob. Gross answer sorry. I thought you made a good point but obviously your are not a nice person. Perhaps one day you'll lose all your money and you'll be left with nothing because you obviously have no character
[ Reply | Options ]when we are all wondering why her 97 ERB didn't get into at least a 3rd tier school, we forgot to calculate the value of the parent being a good person/good fit for the school. BWL is filled with snobs, it is a school designed for the Jill Zarins of the world, no class, lots of money and think they are too good to mix with the riff raff at public schools.
[ Reply | Options ]Don't forget The Countess. One of her kids still goes to Birch. Seems that the crappier the school, the more likely it is that a parent's on RHONY. The woman replacing Bethenny has a dd at Hewitt.
[ Reply | Options ]Bethany left? Also, you know there is a girl from NYC prep at BWL too. I thought the kids from Dwight on NYC Prep seemed really smart beyond their years but there was something off about them and of course, they were on that show, but the BWL girl is the singer, that whole family was just a mess and clearly social climbing.
[ Reply | Options ]ITA. But I thought Jessie and PC seemed dim (though compared to Sebastian they're brilliant).
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, Jessie and PC were off, I think they were smart, way smarter than, I must admit, I thought anyone from Dwight would be so they really changed my mind about that school, but I guess next to Sebastian and that terrible NBS girl anyone would look good! Oh, Camille, you are the worst.
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if you are still watching this post, please stop. Your dc did fine. There are schools which value the report more than others but there are exception to everything. To be honest, every child who is selected from 500 plus applicants is an exception. There is not exact recipe to getting in to a specific school besides maybe being a sibling or having a strong connection. Speak to psd not a bunch of guesser on UB. I personally know someone who has a child in a very sought after school who did not get a high erb score. No connection, just a great visit is all the parents can guess. Plenty of schools here called low tiered, turned her down even though they showed interest. It is just luck of the draw that your dc is what a specific schoo...
[ Reply | Options ]dc got a significantly lower score than that and we are still applying where we want to apply -- tt and all! we totally realize most of these schools are a huge long shot, but we know our kid is amazing so we are going for it anyway. in the likely event that we get shut out, at least we'll know it wasn't for lack of trying. also, I know for a fact that kids with lower scores than yours are going to great private schools, even if not what UB calls tt. just apply where you want and make sure you have a couple of safety schools you would actually send dd to and you'll be fine. gl.
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[-]need to start research Nj burbs - Need good spec ed as well as gen ed. Want reasonable commute to NYC. Any recommendations to particular towns? I am looking on realtor.com, but I also need to see the RE taxes (not listed on realtor.com). Any ideas of sites that may include such info and any general sense of taxes in Summit, Short Hills, Monclair, Milburn, Ridgefiled, Princeton - right now these are just names, don't even have a sense for location/commute. Thanks to any generous soul who wants to get me started in the right direction
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]everyone we know who has moved to NJ recently has gone to Montclair or Glen Ridge, which I think is part of MC
[ Reply | Options ]princeton twship has a million great resources for kids, incredible school system (i've had experience at TT NY private, and princeton public, and Princeton has impressed me more). The express train is about 50 min to penn station - maybe a little further thanyou're looking for, but absolutely worth every minute.
[ Reply | Options ]Millburn has a good special ed ed program and is a blue ribbon school district as well. Its about a 35 minute direct commute into NY Penn Station. If I knew general price range you were looking in I could give you a ball park in taxes. Summit also has great schools but I dont know about their special ed. Commute is easy though because it has the most direct trains into Manhattan. The next stop is Chatham ( 45 or 50 minutes to penn station, also a blue ribbon district. Here's a link to commuter info: http://www.adlerbenjamin.com/local-transportation.asp Here's a ton of local info on towns w/ good schools and commute: http://www.adlerbenjamin.com/m_local.asp
[ Reply | Options ]2 of my 3 are spec needs in Montclair and if you can strongly advocate for them, the schools are great. StantonRealtors.com lists taxes. Montclair is 30 min by bus/express train to midtown.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm in Maplewood and love it. www.gsmls.com is the best - will give you all the info AND property taxes!
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